INSPIRED Senior Living March 2016

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Shot on location at Mayfair Shopping Centre with Desiree, Norgarden Concierge

Fun never asks how old you are. It’s much more fun to exercise with friends — staying healthy and strong for life’s third act. I’ve earned it.

Independent and assisted living choices for today’s senior

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Say Good Bye to Dentures, Say Hello to Teeth in One Day! Are you having trouble chewing and eating your favourite foods? Are you unhappy with your smile? Are you tired of your uncomfortable dentures? BC Perio’s Teeth in One Day (All-on-4 dental implants) is an amazing procedure that allows you to come in with a denture or failing teeth and ůĞĂǀĞ ƚŚĞ ƐĂŵĞ ĚĂLJ ǁŝƚŚ Ă ŶĞǁ ƐĞƚ ŽĨ ĮdžĞĚͲŝŶ ƚĞĞƚŚ͘ EŽ ŵŽƌĞ ĚĞŶƚƵƌĞƐ͘ EŽ ŵŽƌĞ ƉĂŝŶĨƵů Žƌ ĨĂŝůŝŶŐ ƚĞĞƚŚ͘ :ƵƐƚ Ă ŶĞǁ ĐŽŶĮĚĞŶƚ ƐŵŝůĞ ĂŶĚ ƚŚĞ ĂďŝůŝƚLJ ƚŽ ĞĂƚ Ăůů LJŽƵƌ ĨĂǀŽƵƌŝƚĞ ĨŽŽĚƐ ĂŐĂŝŶ͘ /Ĩ LJŽƵ ĂƌĞ ůŽƐŝŶŐ LJŽƵƌ ƚĞĞƚŚ Žƌ ĂƌĞ ĐƵƌƌĞŶƚůLJ ǁĞĂƌŝŶŐ Ă ĚĞŶƚƵƌĞ͕ ƚŚŝƐ ŐƌŽƵŶĚͲďƌĞĂŬŝŶŐ ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚ ŝƐ ŶŽǁ ĂǀĂŝůĂďůĞ ĂŶĚ ŵĂLJ ďĞ ƚŚĞ ĂŶƐǁĞƌ LJŽƵ͛ƌĞ ůŽŽŬŝŶŐ ĨŽƌ͘ dŚŝƐ ƚƌĞĂƚŵĞŶƚ ŚĂƐ ďĞĞŶ ƚƌŝĞĚ ĂŶĚ ƚĞƐƚĞĚ ǁŝƚŚ ŐƌĞĂƚ ƐƵĐĐĞƐƐ͊ WĞƌŝŽ͛Ɛ ƚĞĂŵ ŽĨ ĚĞŶƚĂů ĞdžƉĞƌƚƐ ŽīĞƌƐ LJŽƵ ƚŚĞ ŚŝŐŚĞƐƚ ƐƚĂŶĚĂƌĚƐ ŽĨ ĚĞŶƚĂů ĐĂƌĞ ŝŶ ƚǁŽ ŐƌĞĂƚ ůŽĐĂƟŽŶƐ͕ sĂŶĐŽƵǀĞƌ ĂŶĚ ŽƋƵŝƚůĂŵ͘ tĞ ĂƌĞ ĐŽŵŵŝƩĞĚ ƚŽ ĐŽŶƟŶƵŝŶŐ ĞĚƵĐĂƟŽŶ ƚŽ ĞŶƐƵƌĞ ŽƵƌ ƐŬŝůůƐ ĂƌĞ ƚŚĞ ĮŶĞƐƚ ĂǀĂŝůĂďůĞ͘ KƵƌ ĞdžƉĞƌƚƐ ĂƌĞ ŝŶ ŐƌĞĂƚ ĚĞŵĂŶĚ ĂŶĚ ŚĂǀĞ ďĞĞŶ ŝŶƚĞƌǀŝĞǁĞĚ ŽŶ ƚĞůĞǀŝƐŝŽŶ ĂŶĚ ƌĂĚŝŽ͕ ĂƐ ǁĞůů ĂƐ ŶĞǁƐƉĂƉĞƌ ĂƌƟĐůĞƐ ŽŶ ĐŽƐŵĞƟĐ ĂŶĚ ŝŵƉůĂŶƚ ĚĞŶƟƐƚƌLJ͘

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How are Teeth in One Day (All-on-4 implants) ĚŝīĞƌĞŶƚ ĨƌŽŵ ƚƌĂĚŝƟŽŶĂů dentures? All-on-4 dental implants are a permaͲ ŶĞŶƚ ƐĞƚ ŽĨ ƚĞĞƚŚ ƚŚĂƚ ůŽŽŬ ĂŶĚ ĨĞĞů ůŝŬĞ LJŽƵƌ ŶĂƚƵƌĂů ƚĞĞƚŚ͘ dŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ƚĞĞƚŚ ƚŚĂƚ ǁŝůů ďĞ ďƌƵƐŚĞĚ ĂŶĚ ĐůĞĂŶĞĚ ůŝŬĞ ŶĂƚƵƌĂů ƚĞĞƚŚ͘ dŚĞLJ ĚŽ ŶŽƚ ŚĂǀĞ ƚŽ ďĞ ƚĂŬĞŶ ŽƵƚ͘ dŚĞLJ ĚŽ ŶŽƚ ŶĞĞĚ ĂĚŚĞƐŝǀĞƐ͘ dŚĞLJ ĂƌĞ ĐŽŵĨŽƌƚĂďůĞ ďĞĐĂƵƐĞ ƚŚĞLJ ĚŽ ŶŽƚ ƉƌĞƐƐ ĚŽǁŶ ŽŶ LJŽƵƌ ŐƵŵƐ͘ ůůͲŽŶͲϰ ŝŵƉůĂŶƚƐ ĂůůŽǁ LJŽƵ ƚŽ ĞdžƉĞƌŝĞŶĐĞ ƚŚĞ ŚŽƚ ĂŶĚ ĐŽůĚ ŽĨ LJŽƵƌ ĨŽŽĚ͕ ĂƐ ǁĞůů ĂƐ ƚŚĞ ƚĂƐƚĞ ďĞĐĂƵƐĞ ƚŚĞ ƉĂůĂƚĞ ŝƐ ŶŽƚ ĐŽǀĞƌĞĚ ďLJ Ă ƉůĂƚĞ͘ dŚĞLJ ĂůƐŽ ĂůůŽǁ LJŽƵ ƚŽ ďŝƚĞ ǁŝƚŚ ŝŶĐƌĞĂƐĞĚ force (up to 70% more), so you can eat Ăůů ŽĨ LJŽƵƌ ĨĂǀŽƌŝƚĞ ĨŽŽĚƐ ĂŐĂŝŶ͊

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Cover Bobby Lenarduzzi at the Vancouver Whitecaps Football Club. Photos: Bob Frid

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Champion Hometown

BY KEVIN MCKAY

S

ome athletes do more than just play, coach or manage the game with great talent, passion and excellence. There are those who transcend the games they play and become the face of their sport, like Tiger Woods for golf, Wayne Gretzky for hockey or Babe Ruth for baseball. Though he may not have earned the same statistical excellence as Gretzky, for example, there can be little argument that for more than four decades Bobby Lenarduzzi has been the face of soccer in Canada. He has played professional soccer in Vancouver as a member of both the Whitecaps and 86ers, has been a player-coach and then a head coach of both the 86ers and the Canadian men’s national team and an executive with the Whitecaps. In the sport of soccer no other Canadian can claim even half of Bobby’s accomplishments. Born in Vancouver in 1955, Bobby was the third son of Giovanni and Clelia Lenarduzzi, who had immigrated to Canada in 1952. Growing up with older brothers Vanni and Sam, and younger brother Dan meant plenty of time on the soccer pitch at nearby Callister Park and then minor soccer with the Grandview Legion. For young Bobby, there was never a moment’s doubt what he wanted to do with his life. “I was totally driven to be a professional soccer player,â€? he says. “I was absolutely certain I was going to make it and nothing was going to stop me.â€? At the tender age of 15, Bobby was recruited to go overseas and join the Reading soccer club, which was located about 40 kilometres west of London. While it was not common for a youngster from Vancouver to be playing abroad, those clubs still knew how to keep their young players humble. Bobby remembers, “At that time it was nothing like it is for the players today. I rememEHU WKH ÂżUVW GD\ , DUULYHG WKH\ WRRN PH LQWR WKH ERRW URRP DQG showed me multiple pairs of soccer boots. I was told these were mine to keep clean for the senior players. It was a good lesson and helped keep you from getting too full of yourself. I wound up VWD\LQJ IRU ÂżYH \HDUV DQG SOD\HG ÂżUVW WHDP JDPHV ´ ,Q WKH 9DQFRXYHU :KLWHFDSV MRLQHG WKH Ă€HGJOLQJ 1RUWK $PHULFDQ 6RFFHU /HDJXH DQG IRU WKH WHDPÂśV ÂżUVW WZR VHDVRQV Bobby joined the team on loan from Reading, playing in VancouYHU GXULQJ KLV Rŕľľ VHDVRQ LQ WKH 8QLWHG .LQJGRP +H EHFDPH D Âż[WXUH ULJKW DZD\ DQG HQMR\HG SOD\LQJ RQ WKH VDPH VTXDG DV KLV brothers Sam and Dan.

In fact, while there have been more than one set of three brothers to play for the same team in the NHL, the Lenarduzzis were WKH RQO\ EURWKHU DFW WR DFFRPSOLVK WKLV IHDW LQ WKH \HDU KLVWRU\ RI WKH 1$6/ DQ DFFRPSOLVKPHQW RI ZKLFK %REE\ LV MXVWLÂżDEO\ SURXG +H VWLOO UHPHPEHUV FOHDUO\ WKH ÂżUVW WLPH WKH WULR ZHUH RQ the pitch in the same game. “We were playing San Jose in a game we won 6-0, and Sam and I were already playing when Danny came in with about 20 minutes to go. It was such a thrill to know we were all playing together, and even better knowing my Dad was up in the stands watching us, bursting with pride. We even were all in on a passing play that lead to the last goal of the game.â€? In all, Bobby would play for the Whitecaps for all 11 seasons they competed until the league folded following the 1984 season. He holds the league record for most games played at 312, is the only player to have played all 11 positions in the league, was the only Canadian to win North American Player of the Year Award ZKHQ KH ZRQ LQ DQG ZDV SDUW RI WKH :KLWHFDSV LQ WKHLU PDJLFDO UXQ RI FXOPLQDWLQJ LQ WKH WHDP ZLQQLQJ WKH OHDJXHÂśV Soccer Bowl championship over the Tampa Bay Rowdies. The mid-1980s also saw a couple of career milestones for Bobby. Playing for the Canadian men’s national team, Bobby played a key role in helping the team compete in the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles and he anchored Canada’s back line when the Canadian men made their only appearance LQ D :RUOG &XS ÂżQDOV WRXUQDPHQW ,Q /RV $QJHOHV WKH WHDP advanced out of the group stage only to lose to Brazil 2-1 in a penalty shoot-out. In Mexico, the team lost three tough games to WKH 6RYLHW 8QLRQ )UDQFH DQG +XQJDU\ “It was always a great experience to represent your country,â€? says Bobby. “I loved playing for Canada against the best teams in the world. It was a real honour. I managed to exchange jerseys after all three of the World Cup matches we played and those jerseys are now hanging in the BC Sports Hall of Fame.â€? Later, following his playing career, Bobby accepted the post of head coach of the Canadian men’s national team, a job he held IURP WR +LV WHDPV ZHUH LQ WKH UXQQLQJ WR FRPSHWH LQ the World Cup championships of 1994 and 1998, and came close to qualifying, but ultimately came up short. Playing and coaching the team in away games during these competitions is always

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Snapshot

with Bobby Lenarduzzi

If you were to meet yourself at age 20, what advice would you give yourself? “I would give myself the exact same advice I got from Alan Hinton when I was around that age. He was a veteran player from England who was supposed to be an assistant coach and wound up having a wonderful season for us, setting a league record for assists. He told me and the other young players, at the time, to savour and appreciate every moment of our playing careers. He told us that no matter how long they lasted we would miss the game so much ZKHQ ZH ĆQLVKHG SOD\LQJ , UHćHFW EDFN QRZ DQG UHDOL]H how right he was and wish that I had paid more attention to his advice.â€? :KR RU ZKDW KDV LQćXHQFHG \RX WKH PRVW" $QG ZK\" “Without a doubt it was my parents. My father was the perfect sports dad. He allowed us to play and encouraged us without pushing too hard. He would support me and my brothers. He would go to our games, but KH ZRXOG QHYHU JHW RYHUO\ FULWLFDO 0\ PRWKHU GLGQèW OLNH WR FRPH WR PDQ\ games, but she also supported us. We used to live near Empire Stadium, where our home games were played, and she would listen for the roar of the crowd to tell her something good had happened. My brothers were DOVR JUHDW LQćXHQFHV RQ PH VXSSRUWLQJ PH LQ IROORZLQJ P\ GUHDP ĂŤ What does courage mean to you? “From a sporting perspective, courage is having the ability to be able to accept that sometimes things don’t go your way and you need to have the fortitude to correct your performance, so you can perform to your highest OHYHO &RXUDJH LV EHLQJ DEOH WR PDNH D PLVWDNH EUXVK LW RII DQG JHW RQ ZLWK the game. 2Q WKH SHUVRQDO VLGH HYHQWXDOO\ HYHU\RQH VXIIHUV VRPH SHUVRQDO VHWEDFNV ZLWK LOOQHVV RU GHDWK LQ WKH IDPLO\ <RX QHHG WR ZRUN \RXU ZD\ WKURXJK \RXU loss. That’s not suggesting if you suffer a loss, you just say that’s that. You grieve in the way you should and remember in the way you should. The immediate emotion is sadness and you wish they could still be with you but, over time, recall the good moments, the good memories you have had ZLWK WKH SHRSOH WKDW DUH JRQH DQG WKDW KDV FHUWDLQO\ KHOSHG PH 6R , WKLQN courage is to accept it is inevitable, it is going to happen. You are going to suffer loss and adversity, but whatever it is you go through, you can’t dwell on it.â€? What does success mean to you? “Seeing my family do well. Deanna and I have two sons and they are both very successful in their lives and their careers. We have been fortunate in our lives to have a chance to accomplish some nice things professionally, along the way, but what matters most is family. I am pleased we can ORRN EDFN ZLWK SULGH DQG NQRZ WKDW ZH KDYH SDVVHG DORQJ WKH OHVVRQV ZH OHDUQHG WR WKH QH[W JHQHUDWLRQ :H ORRN IRUZDUG WR ZDWFKLQJ WKHP continue to grow.â€? 10 8

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challenging when travelling to CONCACAF countries. “In those countries soccer is like a religion to them, kind of like we see hockey here in this country,â€? recalls Bobby. “The fans live and die with their teams and will do anything to help their teams win. It is very common to see armed guards with weapons drawn all around the stadium, fans chanting, throwing things. At night, they would chant and sing and bang drums outside your hotel all night long. Personally, I always thought this was complimentary to our team. If they weren’t worried about us and didn’t see us as a threat, they would not have bothered.â€? After the NASL folded, Bobby played indoor soccer for a couple of years before the Canadian Soccer League ZDV IRUPHG +H UHWXUQHG WR WKH ÂżHOG DV D SOD\HU FRDFK LQ )ROORZLQJ WKH season, he hung up his soccer boots for good WR EHFRPH WKH WHDPÂśV IXOO WLPH FRDFK 8QGHU his leadership, the 86ers went on one of the most amazing runs in the history of all North American sports leagues. In addition to winning four consecutive Canadian championships from 1988 to 1991, they embarked on an undefeated run from June 5 1988 to $XJXVW 7KH WHDP ZRQ JDPHV DQG tied nine to establish an unvanquished streak of 46 games, something no other North American team has equalled. Following the demise of the Canadian Soccer League in 1992, the Vancouver club played in various North American leagues until they once again started using the name Whitecaps in 2001, and competed in the 8QLWHG 6RFFHU /HDJXH XQWLO MRLQLQJ 0DMRU League Soccer in 2011. Bobby has served DV WHDP SUHVLGHQW IRU DOO ÂżYH \HDUV RI WKH team’s existence and, in that time, the team KDV TXDOLÂżHG IRU WKH SOD\RŕľľV LQ WKUHH RI WKH ÂżYH VHDVRQV KRVWLQJ WKHLU ÂżUVW KRPH SOD\Rŕľľ game in 2015. “For the future, I would like to see us FRQWLQXH WR HYROYH DV D FOXE 2YHU WKH ÂżYH years, each season we have gotten a little better and I hope that continues into next season and beyond. I also hope we continue to perform well enough to continue to attract the kind of crowds we get out to BC Place and we are forced, at some point, to actually expand our capacity because there is more of a demand than we have seats available.â€?

Beauty, dignity and the best value in Victoria. The Oak Bay Kiwanis Rose Manor Society invites you to join us at Rose Manor, a comfortable, warm and friendly home in downtown Victoria. 3 meals and 3 tea times Weekly laundry & housekeeping Activies & much more Suites Available Now Call today for a viewing appointment (250) 383–0414

Bobby and Deanna Lenarduzzi share a laugh as they look at photographs and remember some of Whitecaps’ history. “I have been involved with Vancouver teams for 42 years now and I thought we had seen the best of professional soccer back LQ WKH ODWH Âś V DQG HDUO\ Âś V ZKHQ ZH SOD\HG WR ELJ FURZGV DQG thought we were going in the right direction only to see things FUDVK 7KH GLŕľľHUHQFH QRZ LV WKLV LV VXVWDLQDEOH ´ VD\V %REE\ Âł:H need to appreciate as a club that we have a wonderful opportunity to not just rest on our laurels, but continue to do all the things we GR RQ WKH SLWFK DQG Rŕľľ WKH SLWFK , EHOLHYH WKH WZR DUH UHODWHG DQG that presence in the community and your willingness to give back in the community are something that when you run into tough times on the pitch from the results standpoint, if you are seen as a good community citizen, that buys you some goodwill.â€? To prove he does more than talk the talk, you need look no further than how his team has been built following the example RI PDQ\ VXFFHVVIXO (XURSHDQ FOXEV ZLWK WKH ÂżUVW WHDP EHLQJ RQ the top of the pyramid and an entire organization below supporting that team. They have a second professional team, which SOD\V LQ WKH 86/ WR JLYH WKH \RXQJHU SOD\HUV D FKDQFH WR GHYHORS residency programs, a BC soccer high performance program, soccer academies, scholarships awarded and even camps, tournaments and clinics for youth. The team’s stated mission is to be a FKDPSLRQ FOXE RQ DQG Rŕľľ WKH VRFFHU SLWFK “We try to live up to our team motto – Our all. Our honour. – every day and we strive to have our entire organization do so DV ZHOO 3DUW RI RXU JRDO LV WR EH D VLJQLÂżFDQW FRPPXQLW\ DVVHW We want to engage our fans and promote excellence in all we GR ERWK RQ WKH ÂżHOG DQG Rŕľľ RI LW , DP YHU\ SOHDVHG ZLWK WKH progress our team has shown under Coach Carl Robinson, but I am equally proud of how we are viewed as an organization in this community.â€? SL

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Caregiving Entrepreneur, caregiver and motorcycle enthusiast Barbara Risto. Photos: Geoff Robson 10

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Creating a Life

She Loves BY JAMES ELLSWORTH

B

arbara Risto, the publisher/owner of INSPIRED Senior Living has walked the path of a caregiver, multiple times. She is a testament to being thrust into caregiver UROHV DV VR PDQ\ DUH DQG DOVR EHLQJ DEOH WR OLYH D IXOÂżOOLQJ life. One’s own goals and actualization don’t have to be put on hold, she avows. 0RUH DQG PRUH &DQDGLDQV ÂżQG WKHPVHOYHV WDNLQJ RQ caregiving roles. Statistics Canada painted some interesting numbers in a Portrait of Caregivers, 2012. They revealed that “over one-quarter (28%), or an estimated 8.1 million Canadians aged 15 years and older, provided care to a chronically ill, disabled or aging family member or friend in the 12 months preceding the survey. Providing care included, among other activities, driving someone to an appointment, preparing meals, helping with bathing and dressing or administering medical treatments.â€? One-third of caregivers provide assistance on a daily basis, too. For some, caregiving was a large part of their life – equivalent to a full-time job. Approximately one in 10 caregivers were spending 30 or more hours a week providing some form of assistance to their ill family member or friend. 7KH UHDVRQV RQH FDQ ÂżQG WKHPVHOYHV LQ D FDUHJLYLQJ VLWXDtion can be varied but most fall broadly into long-term health FRQGLWLRQV GLVDELOLW\ QHHGV RU DJLQJ QHHGV %DUEDUD ÂżWV WKH SRUWUDLW SURÂżOH RQ PDQ\ OHYHOV 0RVW FDUHJLYHUV DUH ZRPHQ per cent, and they give more hours to care than men do. Men

contribute more than women in one area only, outdoor tasks or home repair. Barbara watched her own mother care for her dad for 12 years. Her father was diagnosed with Parkinson’s when BarEDUD ZDV RQO\ ÂżYH +HU VLVWHU -DQH DOPRVW \HDUV ROGHU WKDQ Barbara, has a disability called dystonia, a progressive movement disorder that causes muscles to contract uncontrollably. In WKH \RXQJ LW RIWHQ DŕľľHFWV RQO\ D IRRW RU OHJ $V DJH SURJUHVVHV functionality declines and, in Jane’s situation, resulted in her becoming quadriplegic around age 40. “My mom had her hands full with my sister, my father, and running the farm in Alberta,â€? recalls Barbara. The situation was exacerbated because her father chose to insulate himself from the outside world once the symptoms of the disease became obvious and this isolation extended to the rest of the family. “It wasn’t a healthy environment for any of us, really, especially my mom. I have the utmost admiration for her, for her tenacity and ability to cope. My father attempted suicide a couple of times, and we lived in fear of him actually accomplishing it and possibly harming another family member in the process. Our household had a lot of tension until he died at age , ZDV ´ It all seemed “normalâ€? at the time. “When you’re in the middle of a family situation, you cope. Especially as a child, you don’t have the wisdom or perspective, nor the authority, to change your circumstances.â€? Her par-

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Are YOU a family caregiver? Over 1 in 4 of you are caring for a spouse, family member or friend because of disease, disability or age-related challenges. You need to stay informed, stay strong and stay connected. Let us help.

Caregiver Support Line 1 877 520 3267 /FlCEĂ? Ă? Ă? Ă?(OURSĂ?- & Ă? AM PM WWW FAMILYCAREGIVERSBC CA

We all want to believe that we will remain healthy into old age but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. Whether you are 52 with dementia or need care at 105, aging can take away so much. Your donation to the Eldercare Foundation funds community programs and education that help people stay in their own homes longer; funds therapy programs, equipment and home-like enhancements for extended care residents; and gives back dignity and happiness.

Give the gift of care, comfort and quality of life.

Please donate today. 1454 Hillside Ave.,Victoria, BC V8T 2B7

250 370-5664 • www.gvef.org Registered Charity #898816095RR0001

12 10

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

ents were proud, hardworking and independent. They carried on. Things changed, though, when Barbara became a young adult. She took a job as a coordinator for a citizen’s advocacy program, helping people with disabilities integrate into the community through the creation of friendships. It was then that Barbara FDPH WR DSSUHFLDWH GLVDELOLW\ LQ D GLŕľľHUHQW ZD\ IURP KHU SDUHQWV “My parents were afraid of public perception. They never took Jane to any social functions that weren’t family related. The citizen advocacy philosophy challenged me to look at the general perception about people who have disabilities and re-assess my own beliefs. Today, I take what I learned to heart. A person should be viewed as an individual, separate from their disability. When I walk with a person in a wheelchair, like my sister, I walk beside them, not behind‌ as any friend would walk with a friend.â€? Barbara practiced what she learned in other areas. She cared for her mother the last six weeks of her life when she was dying of cancer. Soon after, Barbara arranged to have her sister moved to Victoria, so she could oversee Jane’s care, which she has done for the past 22 years. During this time, Barbara’s mother-in-law also became part of the household and Barbara’s role as careJLYHU H[SDQGHG IXUWKHU DV VKH RŕľľHUHG VXSSRUW DQG FRPSDQLRQVKLS where needed. ,Q WKH PLGVW RI LW DOO %DUEDUD ZHQW WKURXJK VRPH GLŕľśFXOW times and learned some tough lessons. About half of caregivers providing care to children and spouses reported feeling some psychological distress, for example depression or isolation. About a third had to consult with a PHGLFDO SURIHVVLRQDO IRU KHOS %DUEDUD ZDV QR GLŕľľHUHQW .DUHQ $UPVWURQJ ZLQQHU RI WKH 7(' 3UL]H LQ DQG founder of the Charter for Compassion, wrote as a corollary to the Golden Rule that you will have trouble loving others if you FDQÂśW ÂżUVW ORYH \RXUVHOI ,W LV D SURFHVV HYHU\ FDUHJLYHU PXVW JR through, indeed bear witness to. Barbara vividly recalls a time when her life felt like it was spinning out of control‌ her marriage was in trouble, she was EDWWOLQJ WR JHW KRPH VXSSRUW DQG UHVSLWH VHUYLFHV VKH ZDV VXŕľľHUing from depression, and struggling to maintain a full-time job. Barely able to withstand the pressure of her life, she attended a session for family caregivers hosted by the Family Caregivers’ Network. Âł,W ZDV WKH ÂżUVW WLPH VRPHRQH DVNHG Âľ+RZ DUH <28 GRLQJ"Âś It was a turning point,â€? says Barbara. “I was able to take a step EDFN DQG ORRN DW P\ VLWXDWLRQ IURP D GLŕľľHUHQW YLHZSRLQW ,W ZDV the start of me learning to look after myself. I was being tough, VXFNLQJ LW XS EXW , KDG QR XQGHUVWDQGLQJ RI KRZ ÂľXQ QRUPDOÂś P\ life had become‌ again. It wasn’t an easy process, but I made some changes and life slowly got better.â€? Barbara learned through this painful experience that one has to have their own full life before they can give fully of themselves WR RWKHUV :RUN DQG FDUHJLYLQJ DUH QRW HDV\ +HU DGYLFH" <RX can’t give care to someone if you are emotionally and mentally IUD]]OHG Âł8QKHDOWK\ VLWXDWLRQV VQHDN XS RQ \RX ´ VKH VD\V Âł<RX truly believe you are coping, until you aren’t. And then you’re LQ FULVLV (YHU\RQH QHHGV GRZQ WLPH 8VH UHVSLWH $VN IRU KHOS DQG DFFHSW LW ZKHQ LWÂśV RŕľľHUHG , NQRZ QRZ WKDW , FDQÂśW VXUYLYH without some really special people in my life who care for my

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ZKHQ RQH VXŕľľHUV ZH DUH DOO DŕľľHFWHG :KHQ ZH GRQÂśW WDNH FDUH of ourselves, it impacts others.â€? As honorable as it is, Barbara believes caregiving shouldn’t consume your life. “You need to take as much care of yourself DV \RX GR DQRWKHU SHUVRQ :KHQ \RX ÂżQG WKDW EDODQFH \RX discover there are special joys and pleasures in caregiving that deserve being shared and celebrated.â€? Taking these lessons to heart has pushed Barbara in unexpected directions‌ like taking up motorcycling and karate as her pastimes. And renewing her love of long-distance running, a sport she enjoyed earlier in life. “It’s important, I feel, to be engaged in activities that fuel your soul, that EULQJ RXW WKH ÂľZLOGÂś D OLWWOH 1RWKLQJ puts a smile on my face faster than putting on my bike leathers and crankLQJ WKH WKURWWOH WR KHDU WKDW ÂżUVW URDU RI the engine. In that moment, I feel like D ÂľEHDVWÂś HYHQ WKRXJK ,ÂśP WKH VZHHWest thing you’ll ever encounter on two wheels.â€? Barbara successfully juggles being a business owner and a caregiver. “They both contribute so much to my life,â€? she says. “And by adding some of my own spicy ingredients, I’ve created a life I love.â€? SL

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sister, and care about me. I live a very full life now and I make all the pieces work by being aware of what I need, taking time for myself, not being superwoman, and letting others help.� Barbara has a special appreciation for all the experiences of her life. “I had parents who endowed me with a sense of independence and determination. I met professionals who helped me interrupt unhealthy coping patterns and provided me with tools to reshape my life in a more positive way. I’ve had the support of some special friends who’ve stepped up to support and cheer, and I’ve had the fortune to work alongside some really supportive colleagues in my professional life.� But the most profound experience of all has been that of being witness to the love and compassion of other caregivers. “When I see the devotion of the people who have surrounded me and my loved ones, I am deeply touched. There is a special place in my heart for those who give their lives to the care of others. I often have the sense that there are angels amongst us, in human form.� If there’s one truth Barbara holds it is that everyone matters. And that includes her. “There is no exclusion in this universe, only inclusion. We are all one and

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MARCH 2016

11 13 13

Caregiving

Caring for Yourself BY BARBARA RISTO

while caring for others

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ast issue, we introduced the topic of aging parents moving in with adult children, or vice versa. We talked about how the living arrangement works, the questions to consider in order WR GHWHUPLQH LI VXྜFLHQW FRPSDWLELOLW\ exists, and the numerous dilemmas that can occur when two generations begin cohabitating under one roof. This issue, we consider some of the issues around decreased health or mobilLW\ KRZ WKDW D྾HFWV WKH IDPLO\ G\QDPLFV and what you should consider or talk about before you move in together. It’s easier to talk about these potential sticky points before they arise than face them after the fact when there’s more at stake and emotions can ride high.

which you write a detailed description about what you want to have happen (type of care, level of medical intervention, etc.) should you become unable to communicate your desires.

Caregiving and Self-Care The biggest issue facing family members who take on the responsibility of caring for their aging parent is that of having enough time, especially if they are still a working person, to do the caregiving and still have a personal life. Guilt, worry and exhaustion can quickly set in, especially in situations where the parent has special needs such as Alzheimer’s or other dementia, or where the parent becomes physically ill, requiring intensive physical care and support. How much time does the family member have to provide careJLYLQJ" Do they have a support network to help them cope, or are they connected with any group that provides advice and support to FDUHJLYHUV" $UH WKHUH UHVSLWH VHUYLFHV UHDGLO\ DYDLODEOH" $UH WKHUH HQRXJK ÂżQDQFHV WR SD\ IRU ÂłRXWVLGH´ KHOS" Is the aging parent willing to accept this “outsideâ€? help and supSRUW WKHLU FDUHJLYHU E\ HQFRXUDJLQJ WKHP WR WDNH WLPH Rŕľľ" Is the parent willing to seek professional care should the careJLYLQJ EHFRPH PRUH WKDQ WKH IDPLO\ PHPEHU FDQ FRSH ZLWK" How emotionally and physically healthy are the family memEHUV WR EHJLQ ZLWK" .QRZ WKDW WKLQJV DUHQÂśW JRLQJ WR JHW DQ\ EHWWHU if there are problems from the start. &DQ WKH IDPLO\ KDQGOH WKH LQYDVLRQ RI SULYDF\ E\ FDUHJLYHUV" ,V the care recipient comfortable with care being given by either male RU IHPDOH DWWHQGDQWV" If you are the care recipient, have you communicated clearly ZLWK \RXU IDPLO\ DERXW \RXU H[SHFWDWLRQV UHJDUGLQJ \RXU FDUH" +DYH \RX ZULWWHQ DQ $GYDQFH 'LUHFWLYH" 7KLV LV D GRFXPHQW LQ 14 12

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

Family Consent/Approval Have you discussed the new living arrangement with other family memEHUV" $UH WKH\ VXSSRUWLYH RI WKLV PRYH" Has the person you are moving in with, or who is moving in with you, talked to their family members (siblings and any other relatives who have a FORVH UHODWLRQVKLS ZLWK \RX " $UH WKHVH UHODWLYHV VXSSRUWLYH" Will siblings or relatives share in FDUHJLYLQJ" $UH WKH\ ZLOOLQJ WR SURYLGH respite care in their own homes to give the main caregiver a break, and you a FKDQJH RI VFHQHU\" ,V DQ\RQH XSVHW RU XQKDSS\" ,I VR ZK\" &DQ WKLV XQKDSSLQHVV EH UHVROYHG RU PXVW LW EH DFFHSWHG" If there are young children involved, have they been consulted DQG GR WKH\ XQGHUVWDQG WKH QHZ VLWXDWLRQ" Activities It is extremely important for each family member to not feel restricted because of the arrangement. If you are the care recipient, do you have regular activities you HQMR\" $UH WKHUH IULHQGV ZKR FDQ SLFN \RX XS VR \RX FDQ FRQWLQXH WR SDUWLFLSDWH" $UH \RX VXྜFLHQWO\ PRELOH WKDW \RX FDQ DWWHQG WKHVH DFWLYLWLHV RQ \RXU RZQ" If you need community transportation, are you familiar with EXVHV WD[LV DQG RWKHU WUDQVSRUWDWLRQ VHUYLFHV LQ \RXU DUHD" $UH there volunteer agencies that can supply drivers to help you get to HYHQWV RU DSSRLQWPHQWV" Have you considered joining a club or tour group for regular H[FXUVLRQV" &DQ \RX IHHO FRPIRUWDEOH KDYLQJ \RXU IULHQGV YLVLW" $UH WKHUH DQ\ QHZ DFWLYLWLHV \RX FDQ FRQVLGHU" Respect for Everyone Respecting yourself and those you live with is important. It is also important for both parties to express appreciation from time to time. Can you thank each other for each person’s contribution WRZDUG PDNLQJ WKLV ZRUN" $UH WKHUH ZD\V WR VKRZ DSSUHFLDWLRQ OLNH SD\LQJ IRU GLQQHU RXW RQFH LQ D ZKLOH EX\LQJ ÀRZHUV HWF "

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Take time on a regular basis to think about all the things that are good about your situation. Paying more attention to the positives than the negatives can help, as long as the negatives aren’t ignored to the detriment of one of the parties. If stress and resentment builds up from time to time, do family members have a VXSSRUW V\VWHP LQ SODFH WR KHOS WKHP RXW" Are there people you can talk to who will understand and keep any informaWLRQ \RX JLYH WKHP DERXW \RXU D྾DLUV FRQ¿GHQWLDO" As the care recipient, it is easy to feel like a burden, especially if your care needs become more intense. It is important that both you and the person(s) you are living with have a way to express feelings, preferably to a private counsellor. Be careful where you let your emotions lead you. If the focus is on the problem, the problem will continue to be the focus. As simple as that sounds, where you choose to focus your thoughts and energy is what will grow and proliferate in your life. Thinking thoughts of appreciation and gratitude will bring more of the same. Thinking thoughts of

gloom and resentment will bring more of the same. It’s your choice. Make Your Plans Ahead Of Time As one grows older, day-to-day tasks FDQ EHFRPH PRUH GLྜFXOW )RU PDQ\ D helping hand is all they require to remain independent. For others, those needs may be much greater, requiring more substantial assistance. At some point, the family or community supports and resources that are available may not be

adequate to meet those needs. It is at this point where a crucial decision must be made. Do not wait until a crisis precipitates a move. It is advisable to anticipate your needs BEFORE they become urgent and put plans in place while you are still fully capable. Leaving those decisions to the last can sometimes result in solutions being applied that are not to your liking. Review your options in advance, so you don’t have to make a snap decision and end up with a poor choice. SL

Make Your Home Safe for Independent Living Are you a low-income senior or a person with a disability who wants to live safely and independently in the comfort of your home? Do you have difficulty performing day-to-day activities?

Do you need support at home? Help with meals? Bathing?

Does your home need to be adapted to meet your changing needs? If so, you may be eligible for financial assistance under the Home Adaptations for Independence (HAFI) program. Find out today if you are eligible and if you meet all of the requirements as a low-income homeowner or as a landlord applying on behalf of an eligible tenant.

Please P lease call calll us us at at To apply or learn more, visit

778-866-1083

www.bchousing.org/HAFI

Operating from North Vancouver to Langley

You can also contact BC Housing:

Phone: 604-433-2218 Toll-free: 1-800-257-7756

pronounced ‘She-Ki-Nah’ www.shekinahnursing.com admin@shekinahnursing.com

H O U S I N G M AT T E R S

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MARCH 2016

13 15

SWING into SPRING

at the 11th Annual

55+ LIFESTYLE SHOW TUESDAY MARCH 22nd 2016 NEW TIME 12noon to 6pm Pearkes Recreation Centre, 3100 Tillicum Rd., Victoria BC

GENERAL ADMISSION $5 Advance tickets available online www.55pluslifestyle.com

OVER 125 EXHIBITORS ALL DAY ENTERTAINMENT $15 MANICURES & MASSAGES SPARKLING RECEPTION 3:30 - 5PM

FASHION SHOWCASES

NYGÅRD 12:30PM SIMON CHANG 2:45PM SYMPLI 5PM

FUN • FASHION • FOOD • LEISURE • TRAVEL • WELLNESS • and MORE Presented by

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Eldercare Foundation presents

March 2016

March is Embrace Aging Month!

For details, visit gvef.org or call the Eldercare Foundation at 250-370-5664. Thanks to our Media Sponsors:

The Eldercare Foundation invites you to explore the possibilities, make connections and discover the wealth of resources available year-round to help you embrace the journey of aging. There are free workshops, activities and events island-wide and all ages are welcome.

www.gvef.org 18 16

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

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Embrace Aging…Get Connected Get connected to inspiring people, ideas, activities and valuable resources during the month of March. There is so much to see and do! For more information, go to www.gvef.org and follow the Embrace Aging links or call the Eldercare Foundation at 250-370-5664. It’s a fact – the population is aging. By 2036, a quarter of BC’s population will be represented by people 65 years and older. Additionally, 85% of Canadians over 55 indicate that they want to age-in-place in their present home for as long as possible, even if they experience negative health changes.

workshops, activities, events and resources across Vancouver Island. Most Embrace Aging sessions are free of charge or are offered at a nominal cost. There is a wide variety of topics and activities spanning all four of the Embrace Aging pillars and all ages are welcome.

The Eldercare Foundation engaged over 130 people between the ages of 25 and 95 to answer the question“how do we make the journey of aging easier?”As we summarized feedback from our sessions and reviewed reports from other BC communities, it became extremely apparent that the main frustration for people of all ages is the difficulty finding and accessing resources to help them age well. The themes that emerged through these community consultations lined up with Embrace Aging’s four pillars: Be Well, Be Secure, Be Connected, Be Enriched. By incorporating these four social determinants of health, young and old alike can help themselves achieve their optimal level of health and wellbeing.

A new pilot resource is being launched in March for Greater Victoria residents too. The Capital Regional District’s (CRD) new geographical mapping service is designed to increase knowledge of services and facilities throughout the region that provide opportunities for social connection; as well as highlighting public and active transportation options available to access these spaces. This mapping project, funded by the Victoria Foundation and the CRD Traffic Safety Commission, is part of the CRD’s Active Transportation & Healthy Communities Program.Visit the Eldercare booth on March 22nd at the 55+ Lifestyle Show and we’ll give you a guided tour of these maps. Once the link is live, we’ll also post it on the Embrace Aging page at www.gvef.org

Embrace Aging Month can help you get connected to the wealth of community resources available year-round to help you navigate the journey of aging. During March, the Eldercare Foundation will highlight free

For more info on Embrace Aging Month, visit www.gvef.org and follow the Embrace Aging link. You can also call the Eldercare Foundation at 250-370-5664. Sessions fill quickly, so registration is a must!

Health Services • Physical Health • Mental Health

Housing Personal Security Financial Security

Social Networks Social Environments

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MARCH 2016

17 19

Caregiving Directory Alpha Home Health Care Ltd.

Motion Specialties

Ardorcare

Nurse Next Door

CALL ALPHA when you or your loved one needs homecare! Our goal is to enhance your quality of life with skilled, registered care aides ZKR DUH VFUHHQHG ERQGHG DQG LQVXUHG 7LPH ¿UP YLVLWV DQG &RQWLnuity of Care (same care aide) is our goal. Call for a free in home-assessment! See ad page 23 Address: 1705 Island Highway, Victoria Phone: 250-383-4423 ext 4 Email: robin@alphahomecare.ca Website: www.alphahomecare.ca ArdorCare is a company dedicated to making Seniors feel comfortable living in their own homes by implementing Care-Aides as helpers and FRPSDQLRQV 3HRSOH WR KHOS RXW ZKHQ HYHU\GD\ FKRUHV JHW GL໥FXOW WR FRQWLQXH GRLQJ 3OHDVH FDOO WR ¿QG RXW RXU UDWHV Address: 18 - 98 Begin Street, Coquitlam Phone: 604-670-0814 Email: info@ardorcare.com Website: www.ardorcare.com

Eldercare Foundation

Founded in 1982, the Eldercare Foundation is a registered charity, raising and managing funds to support enhanced care and quality of life for older adults in our Vancouver Island community. We are not government funded and we rely on donations from individuals, granting organizations and businesses. See ad pages 10, 16 and 17 Address: 1454 Hillside Avenue, Victoria Phone: 250-370-5664 Email: donald.clark@viha.ca Website: www.gvef.org

Family Caregivers of British Columbia

1RQ SURÂżW FKDULW\ WKDW VXSSRUWV IDPLO\ IULHQG FDUHJLYHUV ZKR DUH caring for an adult with a disease, disability or frailty due to aging. Services: Caregiver Support Line (emotional support, help navigating the health system, referral to community resources); support groups, educational webinars; quarterly newsletter; presentations; online resources; involvement in health system improvement. See ad page 10 Address: 6 - 3318 Oak Street, Victoria Phone: 250-384-0408 Email: info@familycaregiversbc.ca Website: www.familycaregiversbc.ca

Health At Home Inc.

At Home Inc. in Victoria BC provides a personalized care plan to suit your needs. Services available include Personal Care, Home Making, Companion Services, Nursing, Live-In Care, Respite, Palliative Care, Pet Care and Accompanied Visits. The families we care for aren’t just clients to us. Address: Victoria Phone: 1-855-882-4490 (toll free) Email: info@healthathomeinc.ca Website: www.healthathomeinc.ca

Your Home Health Care Store We provide the highest quality home health care products and VHUYLFHV WDLORUHG WR PHHW \RXU VSHFLÂżF QHHGV 0DQXDO 3RZHU Wheelchairs, mobility scooters, walking devices, aids to daily living, bathroom safety products, lift chairs, homecare beds, stair lifts, home HOHYDWRUV LQFRQWLQHQFH &3$3 2[\JHQ &HLOLQJ OLIWV ZKHHOFKDLU ramps. Address: View our ad on page 11 for a list of locations Website: www.motionspecialties.com 1XUVH 1H[W 'RRU SURYLGHV FRPSDVVLRQDWH DQG Ă€H[LEOH KRPH FDUH GHOLYHUHG E\ H[FHSWLRQDO VWD໤ WKDW LV SHUVRQDOL]HG WR \RXU LQGLYLGXDO needs. Maintain your independence and the dignity you deserve. Ranging from a few hours per week of friendly companionship right WKURXJK WR DURXQG WKH FORFN FDUH IURP D UHJLVWHUHG QXUVH 1XUVH 1H[W 'RRU KRPH FDUH LV DQ D໤RUGDEOH DQG FDULQJ VROXWLRQ IRU WKH EXV\ family to keep loved ones happy and healthy at home. Address: #108 - 7885 Sixth Street, Burnaby Phone: 604-347-6072 Email: burnaby@nursenextdoor.com Website: www.nursenextdoor.com

3DFLÂżF ,Q +RPH &DUHJLYHUV

Matching seniors who need support with live-in or out caregivers to SURYLGH ORQJ WHUP LQ KRPH FDUH $Q D໤RUGDEOH RSWLRQ IRU SHRSOH ZLWK a disability or seniors who want to stay in their own homes for life. If you need help with mobility, housekeeping, cooking, or driving an in-home caregiver may be right for you. Caregivers are trained in &DQDGD DQG Ă€XHQW LQ (QJOLVK ([FHOOHQW 5HIHUHQFHV DQG H[SHULHQFH Address: Ladysmith Phone: 250-616-2346 :HEVLWH ZZZ SDFLÂżFFDUHJLYHUV FRP

Shekinah Assisted Care Services Inc.

Shekinah Home Care provides care to the elderly, post surgery, companion and housekeeping services. “Home is Best� is indeed our motto and we strive to ensure that we meet your needs through working in collaboration with you, your family and other healthcare providers.

See ad page 13

Address: Metrotower 2, Suite 2600 4720 Kingsway, Burnaby Phone: 778-866-1083 Website: www.shekinahnursing.com

We Care Home Health Services

We Care understands that people enjoy an improved quality-of-life when they continue living at home in familiar surroundings. That’s why we have created one of the most compassionate and attentive Home Care Programs in Canada. We are proud of our professional caregivers and we are fully accredited by Accreditation Canada. Address: 2631-B Douglas Street, Victoria Phone: 250-389-0202 Email: victoria@wecare.ca Website: www.wecare.ca

2nd Annual

Vancouver 55+ Lifestyle Show Coming September 22nd 2016

LOCATION:

• Over 100 Exhibitors • All Day Entertainment • Exhibitor & Sponsorship Application Packages

The Forum at Hastings Park (the PNE grounds) 2901 E Hastings St. Vancouver BC

Senior Living 20 18

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

PRESENTED BY

INSPIRED Senior Living

www.55pluslifestyle.com | 250 479 4705

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Plant your legacy today. Be forever. Find out how at vancouverfoundation.ca/advisors or call Kristin at 604.629.5186

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MARCH 2016

19 21

Health & Wellness

Feeling Like 40 7KH %HQHĆWV RI +\DOXURQLF $FLG IRU 2VWHRDUWKULWLV

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LNH KLNH VNL UXQ :H ZDQW WR GR LW DOO IRUHYHU ULJKW" As I found out, hyaluronic acid (HA), a protein normally produced by cartilage tissue in joints and found LQ WKH MRLQWÂśV V\QRYLDO Ă€XLG FDQ KHOS XV GR MXVW WKDW A year ago, I was having trouble doing any of those activities due to debilitating pain in my hip with limited range of motion. An x-ray showed mild to moderate osteoarthritis (OA) LQ WKH MRLQW , ÂżJXUHG , ZDV KHDGLQJ IRU KLS UHSODFHPHQW VXUJHU\ and wasn’t looking forward to it. Fortunately, I learned about HA when my family doctor UHIHUUHG PH WR 'U 6KDULVVH .\OH D VSRUW PHGLFLQH SK\VLFLDQ in Nelson, BC. Although many people have never heard of HA LQMHFWLRQV DFFRUGLQJ WR .\OH +$ DOVR FDOOHG YLVFRVXSSOHment) injections have been used for almost 20 years in North America and for even longer in Europe, to help alleviate pain and improve function in osteoarthritic joints, mostly knees and hips. Âł6WXGLHV KDYH IRXQG WKHVH LQMHFWLRQV DUH EHQHÂżFLDO WR PRVW SHRSOH ZLWK 2$ EXW D PRUH VLJQLÂżFDQW EHQHÂżW VHHPV WR RFcur if HA injections are used when OA is mild to moderate,â€? H[SODLQV .\OH Âł:KHQ DUWKULWLV LQ WKH MRLQW LV VHYHUH WKH EHQHÂżW may not be great.â€? I was the perfect candidate. :KHQ , ÂżUVW YLVLWHG 'U .\OHÂśV RŕľśFH , OHDUQHG WKH GHWHULRUDtion of my hip joint was likely due to the removal of cartilage in my same-side knee when I was 15, some 40 years earlier, causing misalignment and where OA had now developed (proof that the hip bone IS connected to the knee bone – Dem Bones was right!). Pain in the knee had not really been an issue over the years, but I knew I favoured it and avoided certain movements. $FFRUGLQJ WR 'U .\OH VWXGLHV KDYH VKRZQ WKDW LQMHFWLRQ WKHUDS\ FDQ EH HŕľľHFWLYH WUHDWPHQW WR GHOD\ MRLQW UHSODFHPHQW surgery. “All non-surgical treatments,â€? she states, “including activity education, strength exercise, physiotherapy, pain management, injection therapy and possible brace use should be utilized as much as possible prior to considering joint replacements.â€? We ran through my injection therapy options – corticosteURLG RU +$ 'U .\OH DGYLVHG WKDW FRUWLFRVWHURLG LV D SRZHUIXO

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

DQWL LQĂ€DPPDWRU\ injection, which can BY KATE ROBERTSON be useful for a very VRUH DQG LQĂ€DPHG joint, but there can EH QHJDWLYH HŕľľHFWV on joint cartilage with repetitive use. HA, on the other hand, works by actually improving the health of the existing joint cartilage, promoting movement and lubrication of the joint. Long-term use of HA injections have not shown any negative HŕľľHFWV RQ FDUWLODJH VR , DJUHHG WR JLYLQJ WKH +$ LQMHFWLRQV D shot (literally) in both my knee and hip. 0\ NQHH LQMHFWLRQ ZDV ÂżUVW DV 'U .\OH ZDQWHG WR VHH KRZ WKDW ZRXOG DŕľľHFW WKH KLS :KLOH JHWWLQJ WKH LQMHFWLRQ LQ KHU RŕľśFH DV VLPSOH DV JHWWLQJ DQ\ RWKHU NLQG RI QHHGOH , DVNHG what I could expect for results. She told me I should notice a GLŕľľHUHQFH LQ SDLQ DQG PRYHPHQW LQ D IHZ ZHHNV DOWKRXJK VKH cautioned I would not feel 21 again. Afterwards, my knee was tender and painful to move for a few hours, and it made a squishing sound when I bent it as WKH Ă€XLG GLVWULEXWHG LWVHOI WKURXJK WKH MRLQW :LWKLQ GD\V , ZDV noticing less pain, strangely, in my hip. This was because the +$ Ă€XLG KHOSV LQFUHDVH VSDFH LQ WKH NQHH MRLQW ZKLFK FRUUHFWV DOLJQPHQW WDNLQJ SUHVVXUH Rŕľľ WKH KLS 6R IDU VR JRRG A few weeks later, I was booked into the hospital for the hip injection, which was a “guidedâ€? injection, meaning a radiologist does it with imaging technology so they can see that it is injected in the proper place. Once again, after the initial pain subsided over the next 24 hours, I experienced smoother movement and less pain and irritation in the hip. )XOO HŕľľHFWV WDNH D FRXSOH RI ZHHNV DQG RYHU WKLV WLPH period, I progressively experienced relief, especially with movement like going upstairs. But the big test came three weeks after the hip injection when I had booked a six-day trek in Japan, where we would be hiking four-to-six hours a day. The trip went without a hitch. In fact, I told my fellow trekkers my hip hadn’t felt so good in years. Even the range of motion in the hip, which I thought I may never regain and which KDG EHHQ DŕľľHFWLQJ P\ \RJD SUDFWLFH KDV DOPRVW UHWXUQHG IXOO\ ,ÂśP QRW DORQH ZLWK WKLV +$ LQMHFWLRQ VXFFHVV .\OH DGYLVHV

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that although people can be anxious about proceeding with this treatment, if they are not familiar with it, most of her patients have experienced some success with the injections and have been able to continue or resume activities that were previously restricted due to arthritic pain. Many return for subsequent injections to keep them enjoying an active life. The good news is that because HA is a protein your joint cartilage normally PDNHV QR ORQJ WHUP QHJDWLYH HŕľľHFWV RI repeat injections have been discovered, PHDQLQJ WKHUH LV QR ÂżQLWH QXPEHU RI injections that can be given into a single joint. Âł0\ SHUVRQDO UXOH ´ .\OH VD\V ÂłLV WKDW LI D SDWLHQW LV QRW JHWWLQJ EHQHÂżW IRU four months or more from this injection, then it’s probably time to think about other treatments.â€? .\OH EHOLHYHV +$ LQMHFWLRQV DUH KHUH to stay and likely on an upward trend because more people are very active well into their older years and are eager

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to keep their joints working for them as long as possible. She also shares that HA injections are now being used by some surgeons during operations for ligament or cartilage tears to see if healing is improved. It is also being studied to see if it can play a role in tendon and connective tissue healing, so we may not yet know WKH IXOO EHQHÂżWV RI WKLV VXEVWDQFH Although with a referral from your *3 VSRUW PHGLFLQH SK\VLFLDQV OLNH .\OH

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are covered by MSP, the downside is that the injections themselves are not. At up to $400 a shot (compared to corticosteroid injections at $25), the expense can run up quickly. At four months later, although I hope I get many more months of pain-free activity before I have to go back in for another “lube job,â€? the benHÂżWV DUH ZHOO ZRUWK LW )HHOLQJ " 0D\EH QRW %XW KH\ IHHOing 40 ain’t half bad. SL

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Relationships

Living Apart Together Couples re-evaluate what they want in a love relationship.

W

BY LINDA BREAULT

hen Annie met Richard two years ago while cycling on the Lochside Trail, she hoped she had found a cycling buddy and maybe a new friend. In the late afternoon of their lives, neither of them had anticipated falling in love. Yet they found they shared values and interests, and a love of adventure. Their intimacy grew, as did their level of commitment to each other. They both wanted a monogamous, comfortable partnership, but they also wanted something more romantic, more fun, and less like marriage or living together. They wanted a relationship that was without the stress of sharing humdrum daily routines of house work, the compromise of what time to go to bed or who would do what, or the need to change their settled ways. Having been married before, they both knew relationships are easier and less fraught with tension when they don’t have to adjust to one other’s lifestyles. They struck a balance by each keeping their own homes. Annie lives in the Rockland neighbourhood of Victoria in an airy patio suite in an historic Manor House ÂżOOHG ZLWK VKHOYHV VSLOOLQJ RYHU with books, colourful folk art and mementoes of her work and travels. Richard, a widower, lives 20-minutes away in a country-like setting, where a rooster wakes him in the morning and horses JUD]H LQ WKH ÂżHOGV DFURVV WKH VWUHHW 5REHUW %DWHPDQ SULQWV ÂżOO his beige walls. His daybook prioritizes time with Annie, but HQVXUHV WKDW FXUOLQJ ERQVSLHOV DQG ÂżVKLQJ WLPHV ZLWK KLV EXGdies are included. Both in their seventies, they have created a warm and loving relationship that balances independence with togetherness. They reserve weekends for each other, a mid-week cycle or hike, and travel adventures. Daily texts and phone calls allow them to be part of each other’s lives. They both agree they have the best of both worlds and have found a way to rediscover the MR\ RI URPDQFH DQG WKH SOHDVXUH RI D Ă€RXULVKLQJ UHODWLRQVKLS “It’s the anticipation of time together always being excit-

24 22

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

ing,â€? says Richard. “We’ve found a way to keep the sizzle.â€? Their respective adult children are pleased they have each found someone who makes them happy. What Richard and Annie have chosen is a creative way to achieve intimacy and autonomy within a relationship known as /$7 Âą /LYLQJ $SDUW 7RJHWKHU 'HÂżQLQJ WKH LGHD RI /$7 FDQ EH D GLŕľśFXOW WDVN 0RVW VRFLRORJLVWV GHÂżQH LW DV D URPDQWLF PRQRJDPRXV UHODWLRQVKLS EHWZHHQ SDUWQHUV ZKR OLYH DW GLŕľľHUHQW addresses but consider themselves a couple and are recognized as such by others. It’s far more than “friends with EHQHÂżWV ´ ,Q D /$7 UHODWLRQVKLS partners remain committed to each other, share a sexual relationship and emotional connectedness but, at the same time, retain individual autonomy. There’s no set formula for a LAT relationship and there are many ways of living apart together. Annie and Richard are only one couple from an emerging trend of non-traditional ways to form a long-term commitment. Jim and Penny are an example of a mature couple in a LAT relationship. Eight years ago, when Jim was new to Victoria and newly divorced, he joined a walking club. +H KRSHG KH PD\ ÂżQG OLNH PLQGHG folk and possibly companionship with a woman. Penny, who had been on her own for several years, was -LPÂśV ZDONLQJ ÂłEXGG\´ RQ KLV ÂżUVW ZDON ZLWK WKH FOXE 7KH attraction was immediate. They found themselves easy and comfortable with each other and the relationship developed quickly. They both wanted an exclusive partnership, a travelling companion and a nurturing relationship. 3HQQ\ ORYHV WR TXLOW DQG JDUGHQ DQG -LP LV D SUROLÂżF UHDGHU and community volunteer. They talked about living together but decided that each keeping a separate place and maximizing their time together was what they wanted. “It works for both of us,â€? says Jim. “We have a measured understanding that this is good. It’s a perfect set up.â€? Only a 10-minute walk from each other, they have settled

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into a pattern and see each other most days, including shared meals. They recognize they are in a privileged position to be able to maintain two places, take annual trips together and go camping, and to be each other’s best friend. Jim, in his mid-seventies and Penny several years younger, have talked about the possibility of change, if one or the other develops health concerns. They have agreed they will support HDFK RWKHU DQG WUXVW WKH\ ZLOO ¿QG D ZD\ WR DGDSW LI WKH WLPH comes. Another LAT relationship has provided a second chance for a couple who had been in a troubled traditional relationship. Jennifer, a retired teacher and grandmother of four, and her KXVEDQG 3DXO KDYH UHGH¿QHG ZKDW D FRPPLWWHG UHODWLRQVKLS can be. For over 25 years, Jennifer had been married to Paul, but had found living with him restraining. She had become increasingly convinced she needed to be on her own. Although Paul disagreed, they eventually separated with the idea of permanently ending their marriage. He went on to date other women, but always felt the pull back to Jennifer. After two years of separation, they began to see each other again and realized they missed each other and that, over the years, they had created a deeply meaningful relationship. They renewed their vows to each other. Now, each has their own condominium close by, share weekends and take holidays together. Jennifer believes she has the secret to happiness – love and independence, and Paul has FRPH WR VHH WKH EHQH¿WV RI WKLV DUUDQJHPHQW Growing numbers of mid-life women and men are choosing a lifestyle option for relationships – Living Apart Together, sometimes known as LAT, where partners live separately. In the 2010 Canadian Surveys and Statistics, only 14 per cent of older women said their most important reason for GDWLQJ ZDV WR ĆQG VRPHRQH WR OLYH ZLWK RU PDUU\ compared to 22 per cent of men. These couples want to have romantic long-term relationships, but they do not want their partners to live under the same roof. It’s not that they don’t want to be emotionally close to their partner but, rather, they want a degree of independence in the relationship and a level of psychological and physical space. They feel connected and secure in a relationship that is without the need to be constantly together and inseparable. Older couples choose LAT for a vast array of reasons. Some engage in this arrangement having weathered tempestuous failed relationships that they speculate may have succeeded, if only they had never lived together. Some just know they aren’t suited to the traditional pattern of FR KDELWDWLRQ 0DQ\ SUHVVXUHV ZRUN WR LQćXHQFH these decisions: past relationships, parental or

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ĆOLDO UHVSRQVLELOLWLHV KRXVLQJ UHDOLWLHV DQG SHUVRQDO interior design preferences. Retired couples may fear boredom, decreased access to children or grandchildren, decisions around what to keep or not keep and concerns about inheritance. They may have built up important networks of friends and community connections, over the years, that they may not want to lose by moving elsewhere. 7KH GHVLUH IRU ĆQDQFLDO DXWRQRP\ DQG FKRVHQ OLIHstyle keep them from letting go of their own residences while being part of a couple. Gender differences for choosing a LAT are apparent. Gerontologists note that Canadian women in their sixties are realistically re-evaluating traditional marriage and cohabitation. By the time women reach their mid-sixties, many experience a degree of freedom they never had while working and raisLQJ FKLOGUHQ :RPHQ ZKR ĆQG WKHPVHOYHV RQ WKHLU own either through divorce or widowhood, and who want to be in an emotional and sexually committed relationship, are beginning to realize they can still experience freedom and be in a relationship. Older women, in particular, fear they may end up as a caregiver for an aging partner or suffer an unequal distribution of household tasks. Men, too, are exploring relationships. Not that long ago, many senior men, who found themselves single through divorce or widowhood, were looking for a caregiver, someone to cook their meals, iron their clothes and look after them if they became ill. They feared growing old alone. Some contemporary men have challenged gender roles, are healthier and live longer, have healthy libidos and easy access to performance enhancing drugs. They’ve developed skills to live independently. At the same time, they want the companionship of a woman and the emotional and sexual intimacy of a committed relationship. Living Apart Together relationships aren’t for every couple. They offer, however, a choice. It’s about challenging traditional ways of being together and asking, “What is right for me? What is best for us? What is the best way for us to be in a relationship?� For those who want both independence and intimacy, LAT offers not only a way to balance and shape their lives, but also a way to keep romance alive. SL

Linda Breault and co-editor Dianne Gillespie of Victoria have gathered tales of couples across North America who have chosen LAT relationships. Their book Living Apart Together – A New Possibility for Loving Couples is available through FriesenPress, Amazon, Chapters/Indigo, Book Depository and in Victoria at UVic Bookstore, Russell Books, Munro’s, and Ivy’s Bookshop; in Duncan at Volume One and Ten Old Books. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Sponsored by HUMN Pharmaceuticals

Humn Pharmaceuticals makes Lidocaine available as a Topical Pain Relieving Cream By Haidita Celestine Many Canadian seniors TH` IL Z\ɈLYPUN WHPU needlessly according to Rowan Hamilton, Research Director of Humn Pharmaceuticals of Winnipeg. “Despite the fact that Lidocaine is on the World Health Organization’s list of Essential Medicines, most people are unaware of how well it relieves a wide range of pain conditions,” says Hamilton. For those who know Hamilton, a herbalist, wholistic dermatologist, student of Traditional Chinese Medicine and a graduate of the School of Herbal Medicine in England, it may come as a surprise to hear him

promoting a synthetic drug. Hamilton notes, however, that the only naturally occurring Local Anesthetic is cocaine. In the late 1880s JVJHPUL ^HZ [OL ÄYZ[ local anesthetic used in dentistry and an improvement on the previous approach: copious amounts of alcohol. Lidocaine, however, became the dentist drug of choice when it was made commercially available in the late 1940s. ;OL IPNNLZ[ KPɈLYLUJL between Lidocaine and earlier local anesthetics is its stability in water; that allows it to remain near

the point of administration ZV P[Z U\TIPUN LɈLJ[Z remains close to where it is applied. Further, Lidocaine ^HZ [OL ÄYZ[ HTPKL [`WL local anesthetic; until its discovery local anesthetics were all “esters”. “Ester type anesthetics are much more likely to cause allergic reaction compared to the amide type local anesthetic,” says Hamilton. “All that, is a long way of saying that Lidocaine acts as a nerve block to prevent pain signals not only from travelling to the brain, but from being initiated at all. And it does that without addiction, fewer \U^HU[LK ZPKL LɈLJ[Z and much fewer allergic reactions.” The American

Geriatrics Society has also recognized the value of Lidocaine. In their 2009 Clinical Practice Guideline on persistent pain, they strongly recommend that “all patients with localized neuropathic pain are candidates for topical lidocaine.” “I’m very happy to be associated with Humn Pharmaceuticals,” says Hamilton. “Humn created TPR20 topical lidociane cream to ensure people have access to this WYV]LU ZHML HUK LɈLJ[P]L pain reliever. Go Humn!”

It’s only human to suffer the pains of age. And to stoically smile despite it. An acceptable penalty for days lived. In tribute to youth gone. Then there’s that other human reaction. Make the freaking pain go away.

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MARCH 2016

25 27

Relationships

A Younger Man ,WèV QRW DERXW WKH DJH

BY LIANNA WALDEN

N

o matter what you think or believe about older women hooking up with younger men, it is happening. Empowered female movie stars have been coming out IRU \HDUV DERXW WKHLU \RXQJHU ORYHUV -XOLDQQD 0RRUH %DUW Freundlich 26, Robin Wright 48/Ben Foster 34, Joan Collins 3HUF\ *LEVRQ -HHQD 'DYLV 5H]D -DUUDK\ 'HPL 0RRUH $VKWRQ .XWFKHU &KHU KDG QXPHURXV ORYHUV ZKR were publicly known to be much younger. Women who have let go of being judged for their age are enjoying the company of younger men, and average middle-age women are making themselves known. As women, we grow up with strong beliefs about who we are as sexual beings, how we should interact with men, how we must be as mothers and how to act as older women. Many of these beliefs create boundaries and walls around us. We are then unable to allow ourselves true expression of who we are as individual, unique people with personal needs and desires.

Myth #1 Older women need to act in appropriate ways for their age. There is nothing we can do about aging, absolutely NOTHING. The more you deeply accept this, the better. Worrying, fretting, being depressed, criticizing, judging, comparing – none of this will help or change the fact you are going to get older. :KR DUH \RX DW " +RZ GR \RX ZDQW WR GUHVV IHHO DFW" :KDW W\SH RI WKLQJV GR \RX ZDQW WR GR" :KDW NLQG RI PHQ DUH \RX DWWUDFWHG WR" +RZ GR \RX ZDQW WR H[SUHVV \RXUVHOI VH[XDOO\" $OO WKHVH DUH LPSRUWDQW TXHVWLRQV WR DVN DV RQH FRQtinues to transition in years. I am almost 52. I am not acting like or even thinking about how a 52-year-old “shouldâ€? act. Having never been 52 before, I really have no idea what to expect. All I can know is that I am a ZRPDQ ZKR ZDQWV SDVVLRQ ORYH GHVLUH DQG VH[XDO IXOÂżOOPHQW Myth #2 Older women are not sexual beings; sexual experiences are for men and youth. It is often portrayed that men with younger women is tolerated. It is pounded into us that men have higher sex drives, are more promiscuous and are less afraid of going for what they want. Women are demure, hold back sexually, and wait for the right one while avoiding those lecherous, perverted men. The idea that an older woman would have sexual desires is preposterous. Society believes this and women believe this. Age may determine where you are biologically and physiologically, but it does not determine your youthfulness. This is 28 26

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

determined by how you feel about yourself and the energy you radiate. An older women who is not in touch with herself sexually will not radiate a sexual youthfulness. It is never too late to start, however. We are always connected to our sexual energy. Sometimes that energy is sleeping. The opportunity to awaken it is always there. +RZ GRHV DQ ROGHU ZRPDQ DZDNHQ KHUVHOI VH[XDOO\" ,W starts by throwing out all those negative ideas about who you are sexually as an older women, and begin to create your own personal expression. That expression spans from what you like to do with your free time, to what colour you want the kitchen to be painted, to where you go for walks, to what you like to do sexually. We are all individuals with our own personal and unique tastes. This is not the time to limit yourself. When you create limitations due to your age and how you want to express yourself, it is of your own doing. As we open to reawakening our sexual energy, we will see things start to shift. This includes talking about sex, revealing what we want sexually, opening to learning and educating RXUVHOYHV DURXQG VH[ GLVFRYHULQJ GL྾HUHQW SRVVLELOLWLHV DQG allowing ourselves the freedom to feel sexy at any age. Our sexual exploration does not stop once we hit a certain age. It is a never-ending journey. If, as women, we can allow ourselves to continue exploring and experiencing throughout the years, ZH ZLOO NHHS GLVFRYHULQJ QHZ RUJDVPV RXU ERGLHV ZLOO ÀRZ with wondrous passion, and the love we feel will expand to places we never thought possible. Myth #3 An older woman is considered a cradle robber or a cougar if she enjoys the company of younger men. One of the biggest reasons we are held back from allowing that young man into our lives is our own judgments. There are people of all ages with whom you can have meaningful relationships – from toddlers to grannies. Every one of us is DWWUDFWHG E\ GL྾HUHQW HQHUJLHV LQ SHRSOH 7KDW HQHUJ\ LV KRZ ZH connect to someone with whom we feel a sexual attraction. The constraint we put on this attraction by age elicits all sorts of name calling and categorization. This is an irrational fear that holds no power – unless you allow it. A mutual sexual energy pulls you as a woman to a man. This energy is mysterious and spontaneous. It hits you at inopportune moments. Finding someone who you can feel this with LV GLྜFXOW DQG XQLTXH HQRXJK DQG LI \RX ZHUH WR WKHQ VWDUW judging the connections based around age, you could be pushing away potentially amazing possibilities.

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/\]D MXVW WXUQHG 6KH LV DQ DWWUDFWLYH ZRPDQ ¿W KHDOWK\ full of wonderful free energy. She was in a marriage with an DOFRKROLF IRU \HDUV 6KH ¿QDOO\ VHSDUDWHG PRYHG DZD\ RQ KHU own, started to get her life back... Surprisingly to her, younger men were approaching her. With a daughter of 20 and a son at 24, these men approaching KHU ZHUH QRW PXFK ROGHU 6KH IRXQG LW DPXVLQJ DW ¿UVW XQWLO one day, she felt a strong immediate attraction towards a man in his late 20s. He wanted her and she wanted him but... 6KH ZDV WHUUL¿HG DERXW ZKDW KHU NLGV ZRXOG WKLQN 6KH ZRUried about what her co-workers may say. She did not understand why he would be attracted to her. This was a loving, kind, open man who thought she was attractive, fascinating and sexy. All she could see was the age gap. ,W WRRN FRQ¿GHQFH WR DOORZ KHUVHOI WR EH DQG GR ZKDW VKH wanted. It took strength seeing her children as adults and to start treating them as such. It took courage to stand up for who she was. 6RPHWLPHV ZH UHÀHFW KHDY\ MXGJPHQW LQVHFXULWLHV RU MHDOousies. You must lift your head high and know deeply within yourself that this is your life and you can do whatever you choose. When people see this and feel this from you, they have no choice but to accept you for who you are. Myth #4 As women age, they become less desired by older and especially younger men. Many young men are drawn to the idea of being with an older women, and many older women are attracted to younger man. Nothing is going to happen between anyone, however, until there is some kind of connection. For many men, age is OHVV LPSRUWDQW WKDW ¿QGLQJ D ZRPHQ ZKR ¿QGV KLP DWWUDFWLYH women who are engaging, women who can look at a man in WKH H\H ZLWK GHVLUH ZKR ÀLUW ZKR HPEUDFH ZKR WKH\ DUH DQG who like to have sex. First, be open to exploring intimacy and sex with any man, no matter the age. Be present. Be engaged. Second, allow a connection. Speak to people you meet without judgment, as human beings, no matter their age or appearance. Third, when you feel attracted to someone younger, and you are getting a mutual response from them, do not shy away. Allow the connection to take place without expectation. It may MXVW EH D ÀLUW LW PD\ WXUQ LQWR D FR྾HH D GDWH RU DQ D྾DLU Finally, tell yourself it is okay to express yourself in any way you desire. Others may judge, question, comment. Be VWURQJ .QRZ WKDW \RX DUH D XQLTXH EHLQJ DQG \RXU WDVWHV DQG attitudes are not those of anyone else. SL

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Even on a small budget. “This is a great place to be spoiled� “I love having my bed made every day� “I don’t have to worry about what to cook�

Lianna Walden is a transformational sex and relationship coach, sexual healer and conscious living practitioner. As a workshop facilitator, blogger, educator and speaker on nonconventional sexuality, Lianna challenges traditional societal beliefs helping people open to, accept and embrace their own unique self. www.liannawalden.com WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

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250.383.4164 606 Douglas Street www.theglenshiel.bc.ca MARCH 2016

27 29

Sexual Health

y x e S

BY YVONNE ZACHARIAS

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all it the silent stalker, the medical problem women don’t want to talk about. 9DJLQDO DWURSK\ LV KDUGO\ D VH[\ WRSLF EXW LW DྡLFWV KDOI of all middle-aged and older women, dampening or eliminating their sex lives, causing discomfort and often triggering incontinence and a whole host of other problems. The tragedy is the disease is highly treatable, yet because it is SURIRXQGO\ HPEDUUDVVLQJ IRU ZRPHQ WR DGGUHVV RQO\ ÂżYH SHU FHQW seek help, according to Maureen McGrath, a Vancouver-based RN specializing in sexual health and continence problems for both men and women. As women enter the pre-menopausal, menopausal and postmenopausal stages of their lives, estrogen levels drops, causing the walls of the vagina to become thinner and drier. This can lead to itching, irritation, painful sex and urinary tract infections. “It’s such a taboo subject, people don’t even speak about it,â€? says McGrath. More than happy to talk about it, she is an anomaly. “I’m alone on my ship, but some people are getting on board.â€? 6KH ZDQWV WR VHQG ZRPHQ VXŕľľHULQJ IURP LW D SRZHUIXO PHVVDJH you are not alone and there is help for it. 7KH OLIHEXR\ IRU WKH DྡLFWHG FRPHV LQ WKH IRUP RI SUHVFULSWLRQ localized estrogen therapy. It can be a ring, a pill or a cream. All FDUU\ YLUWXDOO\ QR VLGH HŕľľHFWV 0F*UDWK VD\V WKHVH WUHDWPHQWV DUH KLJKO\ HŕľľHFWLYH NLFNLQJ LQ after roughly two weeks and achieving optimal results in two to three months. No one treatment is better than the other, although some women ÂżQG WKH FUHDPV WR EH PHVV\ DQG GRQÂśW OLNH WKH VFHQW WKH\ FDUU\ The dosing can also be unreliable. If a treatment delivers too much 30 28

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

HVWURJHQ LW FDQ WULJJHU D \HDVW LQIHFWLRQ 2WKHUV ÂżQG WKH ULQJ SDFNV too powerful, delivering too much for the estrogen sensitive. %XW DOO WKH WUHDWPHQWV DUH HŕľľHFWLYH DQG VDIH SHUKDSV HYHQ IRU breast cancer survivors, although McGrath counsels that they need to have a discussion with their doctors about this. A recent academic study that surveyed 4,100 females and the VDPH QXPEHU RI PDOHV LQ WKH 8QLWHG .LQJGRP )LQODQG 1RUZD\ 6ZHGHQ 'HQPDUN ,WDO\ )UDQFH &DQDGD DQG WKH 86 WROG D WDOH RI women reluctant to discuss the problem with their partners. Yet, sadly or encouragingly, depending on how you look at it, the men in their lives were eager to address the problem with their wives or girlfriends. The study found that 28 per cent of women did not tell their SDUWQHUV ZKHQ WKH\ ÂżUVW HQFRXQWHUHG YDJLQDO GLVFRPIRUW PDLQO\ because they felt “it was just a natural part of growing olderâ€? (52 per cent) or because of embarrassment (21 per cent). Conversely, 82 per cent of males wanted their partner to share their experiences with vaginal atrophy. Men were also more comfortable discussing it than women (68 per cent vs. 58 per cent). +DYLQJ VH[ OHVV RIWHQ ZRPHQ SHU FHQW PHQ SHU FHQW KDYLQJ OHVV VDWLVI\LQJ VH[ ZRPHQ SHU FHQW PHQ SHU FHQW DQG SXWWLQJ Rŕľľ KDYLQJ VH[ ZRPHQ SHU FHQW PHQ SHU FHQW ZHUH WKH PDLQ HŕľľHFWV RI YDJLQDO DWURSK\ “Women haven’t been socialized around sexuality,â€? says McGrath. “They don’t think about their vagina until there is a problem with it.â€? She has seen patients as young as 43 on the brink of divorce because sex for them has become so painful. “It’s like sandpaper. Nobody wants to do something that hurts.â€?

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Some older women may argue they don’t give a hoot about their sex lives, but there are still compelling medical reasons to seek treatment. Vaginal atrophy can lead to what is called vaginal prolapse, which basically causes the bladder to fall down, leading to LQFRQWLQHQFH 2QH RI WKH ¿UVW VLJQV VD\V 0F*UDWK LV D OHDNDJH of urine when coughing or sneezing. Women over 65 with vaginal atrophy also run a big risk of urinary tract infections. Most women, at one point or another in their lives, have experienced this and been successfully treated with antibiotics. But as McGrath points out, these infections can be anything but benign. They can lead to sepsis, caused when the body UHOHDVHV FKHPLFDOV LQWR WKH EORRGVWUHDP WR ¿JKW WKH LQIHFWLRQ WULJJHULQJ LQÀDPPDWRU\ UHVSRQVHV DQG D FDVFDGH RI FKDQJHV that can cause multiple organ failure. This can require hospitalization and can even lead to death, says McGrath. Yet another health risk posed by vaginal atrophy is women are more prone to sexually transmitted infections or diseases such as HIV, chlamydia, herpes, hepatitis B., gonorrhea and syphilis. That’s because infections and viruses pass more easily through thinner vaginal walls. Lest you think these diseases are more of a worry for the younger, more sexually active set, think again. A study by the 86 EDVHG 1DWLRQDO ,QVWLWXWHV RI +HDOWK IRXQG WKDW VHQLRUV DUH one of the fastest growing demographics contracting STDs. This group is less likely to use condoms, forgetting they are not only to prevent pregnancy, but also the spread of disease.

Try one to believe it ... try one for FREE !

7UDJLFDOO\ ROGHU SHRSOH ¿UVW GLDJQRVHG ZLWK +,9 DUH RIWHQ at a late stage of infection and frequently become ill with AIDS-related complications and die sooner than their younger counterparts. These deaths can be attributed to original misdiagnoses and immune systems that naturally weaken with age, DFFRUGLQJ WR WKH 86 VWXG\ So, there are many reasons to seek treatment for vaginal atrophy, yet few women do. McGrath says some women believe that penetrative sex helps to keep the walls of the vagina healthy and helps to prevent atrophy but, she adds, the jury is still out on that one. In any case, for an older woman who has not had sex for a year, the experience is likely to be painful and even more so if she has vaginal atrophy. McGrath emphasizes that while many symptoms of menoSDXVH OLNH KRW ÀDVKHV DQG QLJKW VZHDWV JUDGXDOO\ GLVDSSHDU vaginal atrophy does not. Hence, it requires lifelong treatment. And it’s never too late. Even if you are 80 and have never been treated with localized estrogen, it could still help you. McGrath wants to get women back in the bedroom with their sex partners. She wants health practitioners to shed the misconception that most people don’t like sex after 50, anyway, and that shrinking vaginas are a normal part of growing older. She maintains that nothing could be further from the truth. SL Maureen McGrath hosts a Sunday night sex show on CKWN radio in Vancouver and writes a blog called backtothebedroom-blog.ca

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31 29

Thriving in Retirement BY DIANA B. NELSON

S

ome people survive. Others thrive. Linda Rhodes is a young senior who retired in the VSULQJ RI DQG LV OLYLQJ DQG Ă€RXULVKLQJ LQ KHU QHZ life of freedom. She lives in the Lower Mainland in the same home she’s lived in for many years. She worked most of her life in a large corporation, where she held many positions, the PRVW UHFHQW EHLQJ D VXSHUYLVRU\ UROH LQ WKH ÂżQDQFH GHSDUWPHQW Compared to her parents, Linda’s retirement has been a busy one. For her parents, life was a bit mundane after they retired. They were bored and didn’t really have many goals or interests. But Linda is a “listâ€? person and always has a project or a trip to plan. For her, retirement is unlikely going to be boring. With an active mind, Linda likes to learn about new things and isn’t afraid of adventure. Travelling to the Middle East with a couple of friends, she wasn’t sure how safe the trip would be and took the advice of the travel agency when they told her not to worry. Turns out, it was one of the best vacations she’s ever had. Grounded, wise and calm, Linda deals with tragedy with a SODQ DQG ÂżJKWV WKURXJK WKH HPRWLRQV WR NHHS WKHP DW ED\ +DYing a good understanding of what’s important to her, she makes those things a priority. Linda lives with her daughter and their cats, adjusting to her life as a new retiree. Some of her favourite hobbies are reading, cooking, golf and travelling. She has endless interests however, GDEEOLQJ DOVR LQ JDUGHQLQJ UHVHDUFKLQJ ZULWLQJ D EORJ IRU .LGQH\ &DQFHU &DQDGD VXUÂżQJ WKH QHW SOD\LQJ JDPHV DQG YLVLWLQJ friends. It makes one wonder how she had time to work! Linda has three young grandchildren who live close by. When they come over, they often help her with some sort of project. They love to be busy and it helps satiate their boundless energy. It also helps Linda stay young by soaking up their youthful vibe. Their energy keeps her going and on her toes, albeit wearing her out for the night. A day with them is better than a glass of wine for helping her sleep. Some people retire without an idea of what they’ll do to occupy their time. Linda likes to tell people, “You always have to have something to look forward to.â€? She has recently travelled to China and is planning on taking another trip in the spring. For several years she has travelled, visiting places such as Hawaii, France, Italy, Turkey and Greece. 0D\EH LW ZDV EHFDXVH /LQGD KDG D FDUHHU LQ ÂżQDQFH RU maybe it came naturally, but she has always been good with her

32 30

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

Linda taking a cooking course in Abruzzo, Italy in 2012.

Photo: Linda Rhodes Collection

Retirement

A New Normal

money. Because of this, she’s been able to retire and not have to ZRUU\ DERXW ZKHWKHU RU QRW VKH FDQ DŕľľRUG WR GR WKH WKLQJV VKH likes to do. 6KH VWUHVVHV WKH LPSRUWDQFH RI EHLQJ IDPLOLDU ZLWK \RXU Âżnances. If your spouse is the one who handles them, you should still know which bills need to be paid and how much you’ll have when you retire or at certain age intervals of your life. These days Linda is adjusting to not only a new life as a retiree, but also a new life as a widow. She calls it her “new normal.â€? For her, always having something to do keeps her balanced and FRQWHQW 6KH ÂżQGV WKH SRVLWLYH LQ D VLWXDWLRQ )RU H[DPSOH VKH KDV KDG WR UHFHQWO\ OHDUQ KRZ WR GR WKLQJV KHU KXVEDQG .HQ XVHG to do. It’s hard not to take even the simplest chores or tasks for

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granted until you have to do them yourself. Linda is an inspiration to others because of how she carries herself. In stressful situations, it’s usually Linda who is calm and collected. She is also full of knowledge and good, solid advice, lending to the many meaningful friendships and bonds she has with others. She’s level-headed. When .HQ ZDV VLFN RQH RI KHU EHVW IULHQGV %HY observed, “She just knew what needed to be done, and she did it.â€? Linda knew then, and still knows now, the importance of staying active. She also knows how relationships enULFK \RXU OLIH :KHQ .HQ SDVVHG DZD\ RQH RI WKH PRVW GLŕľśFXOW REVWDFOHV IRU /LQGD ZDV WR EH ZLWK SHRSOH IRU WKH ÂżUVW WLPH DV a widow. These are the very people she had known and cared about for years. And many were still couples, making her feel odd as a new single. It was the fear of the unknown, of not knowing how they would react, what they’d say, or how she’d feel. Linda will tell you that you should “Accept every invitation you can, don’t let your social life go. Realize your life is going to go on; it’s not stopping because you’ve lost your spouse. You have a life to live and most likely your spouse would have wanted you to live that life, not to sit at home and dwell on what you’ve lost. You can’t change what is. When you accept the fact that you are a widow/widower, then you can move on and realize you have a life to live and only you can make that happen.â€? The blog Linda continues to write has helped her as well as others. She hopes to maintain it and, although it’s been almost WZR \HDUV VLQFH .HQ SDVVHG DZD\ VKH continues with it because it may help that one person who is trying to cope and gain inspiration along the way. One of Linda’s favourite sayings is one VKH WULHV WR OLYH E\ “If you want to be happy, you have to be happy on purpose. When you wake up, you can’t just wait to see what kind of day you’ll have. You have to decide what kind of day you’ll have.â€? Retirement doesn’t mean retiring from life. Retirement is a new chapter of your life. As Linda awakens each morning and thinks of the day ahead, she knows in her KHDUW WKDW .HQ ZRXOG EH SURXG RI KRZ ZHOO she is adapting to her “new normal.â€? SL

A little support goes a long way Living an active lifestyle is essential to you and your loved one’s overall wellness, but sometimes injury, disease, or advanced age can limit our ability to walk, stand up and sit down, or get in and out of vehicles easily. That’s when it’s essential to ask for assistance to help get back on track. When you or a loved one are faced with the danger of falling due to weak or injured legs and ankles, it’s a good idea to find products that will provide good support to help improve everyday life. At Pharmasave we’re here to help you and your loved ones Live Well at Home with a variety of Home Health Care solutions.

Ask your Live Well Pharmacist about Home Health Care solutions today!

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MARCH 2016

33 31

Family Adventure

A NEW GENE Adventures by Disney and AmaWaterways offer many bike riding excursions. Photo: AmaWaterways

Having fun and making memories in Paris. Photo: Sue Giallella

Kids love rafting during an O.A.R.S. adventure. Photo: O.A.R.S.

Enjoying the beauty of Yellowstone National Park on an Austin Adventures’ excursion. Photo: Austin Adventures

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

I

A New E

became a grandmother January 12, 2015 when Ainsley Hazel Moore arrived. One of my dreams for this sweet girl is for her to enjoy the excitement and adventure of travel, like I do. And she’s R྾ WR D JRRG VWDUW KDYLQJ YLVLWHG HLJKW 86 VWDWHV KHU ¿UVW \HDU As a travel writer for the better part of three decades, my own children certainly saw the world; great practice for this time in my life. I also talk to other grandparents and travel experts, taking note of some of the ways I can make vacations with my granddaughter into wonderful and positive multi-generational experiences. This is what I learned.

Talk to the Parents :KR HOVH NQRZV WKHLU FKLOGUHQ EHWWHU" :KDW WKH\ OLNH WR GR WKHLU current interests, and sleeping and eating habits. Parents will also know if their child is ready to be away from home without them. To make sure children are ready, many grandparents take their grandchildren on a close-by weekend adventure. Nancy Humphrey, D JUDQGPRWKHU RI ÂżYH Âą DJHV ÂżYH WR Âą VWDUWHG E\ KDYLQJ HDFK child spend the night at her house, followed by long weekends at attractions and hotels to see how it went. “I live near Lake Erie, so it was easy for me to take them places they had never been while being within 100 miles from home,â€? she says. “After the test runs, I knew when each child was ready for a longer trip away.â€? +XPSKUH\ DOVR VD\V HDFK FKLOG LV GLŕľľHUHQW 6RPH DUH UHDG\ DW D much younger age. 7KLV ÂłWULDO UXQ´ DOVR KHOSV JUDQGSDUHQWV ÂżQG RXW DERXW WKHLU RZQ limitations. Children have seemingly endless energy. If you have trouble keeping up on a short trip – even if everything else goes well – you may want to wait until the child is older for a longer vacation. Where to Go Taking a toddler to a major amusement park isn’t usually fun for anyone if the two-year old screams at the sight of larger-than-life characters or gets so tired they are falling asleep before anyone sees enough of the park to warrant the cost of admission. I remember listening to an angry father at Walt Disney World who paid for a dinner show and all his children wanted to do was go EDFN WR WKH KRWHO DQG VZLP 6R WKH ÂżUVW WKLQJ WR FRQVLGHU LV KRZ ROG are your grandchildren and what do you want to get out of a vacaWLRQ" ,I WKH FKLOG LV \RXQJ SLFN DSSURSULDWH DFWLYLWLHV OLNH FKLOGUHQÂśV museum, playgrounds and waterparks. If your grandchild is older, it’s much easier to just ask. Explain WLPH DQG ÂżQDQFLDO EXGJHWV LQ HDV\ WR XQGHUVWDQG WHUPV DQG JLYH them options. We can go to the big city and take in the sights or take a week-long road trip. A child’s buy-in will go a long way in making

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ERATION

Experience

BY MARILYN JONES

the trip a successful one. For Sue Giallella, the planning was for a trip to Paris. “I love to share my love of travel with my granddaughters,â€? VKH VD\V Âł, WUDYHOOHG WR 3DULV ÂżYH \HDUV DJR DQG VKDUHG P\ VWRULHV and pictures with them. I promised to take them when they were older, and I did.â€? Giallella says she planned a kid-friendly trip for the children ages three, seven and nine from picking a family-friendly hotel to the right activities. She budgeted time for playground breaks and relaxing, too. “Prior to our trip, we watched the Disney movie The Hunchback of Notre Dame. They were so excited to see where Quasimodo lived and visit the bell tower,â€? she says with a smile recalling WKH JLUOVÂś HQWKXVLDVP Âł7KH (LŕľľHO 7RZHU ZDV DOVR D KLJKOLJKW RI the trip, beginning with a cruise on the River Seine delivering them to the tower.â€? “They are still talking about our European adventure,â€? she adds. “We will cherish those memories for a lifetime.â€? Cruising Many grandparents I talked to said they like to cruise with WKHLU JUDQGFKLOGUHQ EHFDXVH PDQ\ FUXLVH OLQHV RŕľľHU VSHFLDO SURJUDPV IRU WKH \RXQJHU VHW &DUQLYDO IRU H[DPSOH RŕľľHUV D IXOO schedule of activities – all included – catering to kids in three DJH JURXSV &DPS &DUQLYDO &LUFOH Âł&´ DQG &OXE 2 (DFK JURXS KDV LWV RZQ VSDFH IURP SOD\ DUHDV WR KLJK WHFK WHHQ ORXQJHV IHDWXULQJ WKHLU RZQ '- DQG GDQFH Ă€RRU Babysitting is an option when grandparents need some “weâ€? time, DV ZHOO $QG 1LJKW 2ZOV RŕľľHU ODWH QLJKW SDUWLHV ZLWK IXQ ÂżOOHG activities that run as late as 1 a.m. Adventures by Disney and AmaWaterways are combining their WUDYHO H[SHUWLVH WR FUHDWH IDPLO\ IRFXVHG YDFDWLRQV ZLWK ÂżUVW HYHU European river cruising itineraries scheduled to begin summer )HDWXUHV ZLOO LQFOXGH VSHFLDOO\ GHVLJQHG VKLSV VKLS VSHFLÂżF Adventures by Disney Adventure Guides, and experiences geared VSHFLÂżFDOO\ IRU PXOWLJHQHUDWLRQDO WUDYHO 6KLSERDUG DFWLYLWLHV ZLOO DOVR RŕľľHU VRPHWKLQJ IRU HYHU\one. While adults enjoy wine tasting, music and dancing, their grandchildren will be enjoying activity nights, movies and games. 7HHQV ZLOO DOVR KDYH DFWLYLWLHV DQG WKHPHG QLJKWV FUHDWHG VSHFLÂżcally for them. And there are grandparents taking on adventure travel. Whitewater rafting has become very popular for multigenerational trips. Floating along a river, the excitement in the rapids, and the hiking and camping when the excursion stops along the river banks, appeal to a lot of adults and most children.

This winter, feel the warmth of an Amica community. Come enjoy the company of new friends and the all-inclusive lifestyle of Amica. With a trial stay, you’ll experience the comfort and convenience of our ďŹ rst-class dining and housekeeping services, and our extensive Wellness & VitalityTM programs. Take a break from winter and feel the warmth of Amica. Call or visit us online to find out how you can experience the Amica lifestyle!

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Amica at Mayfair 2267 Kelly Avenue, Port Coquitlam, BC 604.552.5552

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MARCH 2016

35 33

Featured Business

Unforgettable travels await you with Mile Zero Tours

T

ravel industry expert David Rose has opened a guided tour FRPSDQ\ VSHFL¿FDOO\ FDWHULQJ WR WKH XQLTXH QHHGV RI WUDYHOOHUV IURP 9DQFRXYHU ,VODQG %DVHG LQ 'RZQWRZQ 9LFWRULD 0LOH =HUR Tours provides deluxe guided tours to destinations across North America. :LWK RYHU \HDUV LQ WKH LQGXVWU\ 'DYLG DOZD\V GUHDPHG RI RSHQLQJ KLV RZQ WUDYHO EXVLQHVV +H UHFRJQL]HG WKH QHHG IRU RQH RQ 9DQFRXYHU ,VODQG DQG LQ KH SXW KLV LGHD WR OLIH ,VODQGHUV FDQ QRZ IRUJHW WKH KDVVOH RI FRRUGLQDWLQJ D IHUU\ WR WKH PDLQODQG :LWK 0LOH =HUR 7RXUV DOO WKH GHWDLOV DUH WDNHQ FDUH RI VR JXHVWV FDQ UHOD[ DQG HQMR\ WKH MRXUQH\ ZKLOH JHWWLQJ WR NQRZ OLNH PLQGHG LQGLYLGXDOV IURP WKHLU FRPPXQLW\ 7KH ¿UVW FODVV VHUYLFH HYHQ LQFOXGHV FRPSOLPHQWDU\ KRPH SLFNXS DQG GURS R྾ WKURXJKRXW *UHDWHU 9LFWRULD 5RVHœV PLVVLRQ LV WR SURYLGH PRUH WKDQ MXVW D YDFDWLRQ ³$W 0LOH =HUR 7RXUV ZH EHOLHYH WUDYHO EURDGHQV WKH PLQG DQG JLYHV HDFK RI XV D GL྾HUHQW SHUVSHFWLYH RQ OLIH (YHU\ GHWDLO RI RXU WRXUV KDV EHHQ FDUHIXOO\ FRQVLGHUHG VR JXHVWV QRW RQO\ VHH D GHVWLQDWLRQ EXW WUXO\ H[SHULHQFH LW ´ 7KH GHVWLQDWLRQV VHOHFWHG DUH ULFK ZLWK FXOWXUH DQG QDWXUDO KLVWRU\ ZLWK D IRFXV RQ &DQDGDœ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

David is a very hard working, well-headed young man. Most even tempered and always cheerful. I have really enjoyed this tour. See you again and thanks! - Pat H, Victoria It was an excellent tour. Hotels were amazing. A perfect balance between tour time and free time. - Kelly K, Sidney

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

Nature and eco-travel are very popular, as well. In the Galapagos Islands, small-ship tour companies stop at several islands RŕľľHULQJ SDVVHQJHUV WKH RSSRUWXQLW\ WR H[SORUH DQG GLVFRYHU unique-to-the-islands wildlife including giant tortoises, blue-footed boobies and marine iguanas. Your local travel agents are excellent resources, as well. Road Trips Your road trip experience doesn’t have to be all “Are we there yet,â€? if you plan right. In the planning stage of a vacation, order road maps (yes, they still make them), brochures and area guides. They are free and easy to order online from city convention and visitors bureaus or from province, territory and state tourism boards. Show where you’re going on the map, ask where the child may want to stop. When travelling with grandchildren, it will end up being more about them than you, anyway, so plan accordingly and have a good time. If you have a portable DVD player, bring it and ask your grandchildren to bring along their favourite movies. Or other activities — even the old standby colouring books and crayons is all some children need to pass the time. Bring food they like, but that won’t make a mess. And search online for games to play in the car. Of course, this all depends on the child’s age. Older children seem to adapt better to long trips than smaller children. Stop often. It’s good for both children and adults.

A little culinary fun on an Adventures by Disney and AmaWaterways excursion. Photo: AmaWaterways You’re the Guardian – Be Prepared During a vacation, you are responsible. Always have the FKLOGUHQÂśV SURSHU LGHQWLÂżFDWLRQ ² SKRWRFRSLHV RI ELUWK FHUWLÂżFDWHV VKRXOG EH ÂżQH LI VWD\LQJ LQ &DQDGD PHGLFDO KLVWRULHV KHDOWK LQsurance cards, including prescription cards; dental insurance cards and secondary insurance cards. Carry contact information, recent photos and notarized authorization from their parents in case they need medical attention. Some countries do not allow entry of minors not accompanied by both parents unless the children have written notarized permission from the absent parents. The rules vary from country to country, so it’s best to always be prepared. Passports are essential for any international travel, including to WKH 86 $QG LW LV DOZD\V D JRRG LGHD WR SXUFKDVH WUDYHO LQVXUDQFH So, plan, prepare and have a great time! SL Dune #45 at Soussovlei.

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To Be or Not to Be...Lonely

I

n my travels and talking with people these days, one of the topics we discuss about this third age of life is the issue of ORQHOLQHVV 7KRXJK , HQMR\ P\ RZQ FRPSDQ\ , RIWHQ ÂżQG myself alone and there are times when I feel very lonely. So, I would like to hear from you, my friends, how do you handle ORQHOLQHVV" Is the only way you are connected with friends and family WKURXJK D FRPSXWHU VFUHHQ RU 6N\SH" +RZ FDQ \RX FKDQJH WKDW" A suggestion from Yakimovich Wellness Centre CoordinaWRU /L] 0F&DUWHU LV ÂżQGLQJ RXW LI IULHQGV DQG IDPLO\ NQRZ \RXU stories. Do they know what a wild and crazy person you were in \RXU WZHQWLHV RU DUH WKH\ JRLQJ WR KHDU DERXW LW DW \RXU IXQHUDO" :KLFK GR \RX ZDQW WR KDSSHQ" +RZ PDQ\ QHZ SHRSOH KDYH \RX PHW UHFHQWO\" 'R \RX JR RXW RI \RXU ZD\ WR FRQQHFW ZLWK SHRSOH" 2U GR \RX WKLQN ÂłZK\ ZRXOG WKH\ ZDQW WR WDON WR PH"´ , KDYH VSRNHQ WR SHRSOH ZKR happily go along with plans, if they are asked, but they don’t ZDQW WR LQLWLDWH VXJJHVWLRQV WKHPVHOYHV ,V WKDW \RX" <RX PD\ have great ideas, but fear or your ego jump in and nix the idea and, there you are, sitting alone at home again. If you’re an extrovert, like me, you may embarrass your kids by talking to everyone around you. Or do you keep to yourself DQG KRSH QR RQH QRWLFHV \RX" , FRPH E\ P\ GHVLUH WR WDON WR everyone for two reasons – Mom and Dad. My mom did exactly

Courageous

that – she would talk to everyone, especially in lineups. My dad was a newsman and a weekly columnist at the local newspaper. He got his ideas from speaking to people in the community. BY PAT NICHOL Here is your challenge for WKH QH[W PRQWK %HJLQ D FRQYHUVDWLRQ ZLWK VRPHRQH QHZ RU KDYH WHD ZLWK D VWUDQJHU ¹ ZKR NQRZV ZKDW PD\ KDSSHQ" <RX FRXOG make a new friend, or brighten someone’s day – including your own. I will be speaking about loneliness on March 15th at the Yakimovich Wellness Centre, 1454 Hillside Avenue, Victoria. If you ZRXOG OLNH WR DWWHQG UHJLVWUDWLRQ LV UHTXLUHG &DOO or email WellnessCentreRegistration@viha.ca I also look forward to connecting and speaking with you at the 55+ Lifestyle Show presented by INSPIRED Senior Living on March 22nd at Pearkes Recreation Centre, Victoria. If you are feeling lonely, maybe your neighbour is too, invite them to come along and make a day of it! SL

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Senior Living PRESENTS

England’s Treasures Downton’s Highclere Castle, the Lake District, Cotswolds and Cornwall

July 21 - Aug 2, 2016 | 13 Days • 17 Meals Join TV and Radio Personality

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Highlights: London, Highclere Castle, Buckingham Palace, Coventry Cathedral, York, Yorkshire Dales, Lake District, Liverpool, Cotswolds, Blenheim Palace, Glastonbury Abbey, Cornwall, St. Ives, Salisbury, Stonehenge

Guide James produces sweet coconut nectar.

Photos: Brent Cassie

,QWHUHVWHG LQ ĆQGLQJ RXW PRUH" Join our Travel Specialist at our FREE visual presentation on March 15th in Victoria. Or join our podcast at 10 a.m. on March 16th. RSVP 250-370-1222 to reserve your space.

IHOO LQ V\QFKURQLFLW\ OLNH WKH HEE DQG ÀRZ RI WKH QHDUE\ WLGH Bodies swayed, hands clapped and the surge of sound melOLÀXRXVO\ ÀRZHG RYHU WKH FURZG OLNH ¿QHO\ WXQHG LQVWUXPHQWV After the hour of gregarious gospel, I walked away feeling VSLULWXDOO\ FRQQHFWHG DQG WRWDOO\ LQVSLUHG ,W ZDV GH¿QLWHO\ QR traditional hymn sing by my books. Soulful togetherness seems to ooze way beyond the hallowed halls of the whitewashed limestone chapels. Rarotonga time is like being in slow-mo and, instead of a hectic pace, people have time for one another. There’s no rush hour, street lights, fast-food chains or big-box stores. They claim, in fact, that there’s no building taller than a coconut tree. And there are certainly plenty of palms to be the judge. As well as lining sugDU ¿QH VKRUHV WKH ELOORZLQJ IURQGV FDQRS\ WKH NLORPHWUHV RI JUH\ DVSKDOW WKDW ULQJ WKLV 6RXWK 3DFL¿F JHP DQG WKURZ VKDGH RYHU WKH LQWHULRU KLOOV FORDNHG ZLWK YLEUDQW ÀRUD $Q DQFLHQW

Double $5,999 Single $7,199 Triple $5,949 Included in Price: Round Trip Air from Vancouver Intl Airport, Air Taxes and Fees/Surcharges of $670 per person (subject to increase until paid in Full), Hotel Transfers Not included in price: Cancellation Waiver and Insurance of $350 per person, Round Trip Air from Victoria Intl Airport add $50 per person. *All Rates are Per Person and subject to change; based on a minimum of 15 passengers traveling

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VHFRQGDU\ URDG ELVHFWLQJ WKH OXVK WURSLFDO LQWHULRU LV Ă€DQNHG by humble cyclone-proof cinderblock homes where wide-eyed FKLOGUHQ SOD\ DQG LQGLJHQRXV FURSV Ă€RXULVK ZLWK DEXQGDQFH “Taro, arrowroot and coconut have always been primary staples,â€? we’re informed by James, our outgoing guide, who VWDŕľľV RQH RI WKH ÂżQDO VWDWLRQV RI RXU FXOWXUDO WRXU /LNH IROlowers of the Pied Piper, we’ve traipsed the trails laced with gardenia and hibiscus to a number of thatched roof outposts, DQG XQLWHG ZLWK .LZLV $XVVLHV DQG RWKHU &DQDGLDQV WR OHDUQ how to create everything from grass skirts (papas) made from Mulberry bark, to primitive bowls using spiky pandan leaves. Now, as well as furnishings and fashions, we discover there’s even enough goodness in the harvested hills to sustain yearround living. With one swift machete swing, James slices a hairy fruit husk in half and after sampling the sweet coconut nectar, he produces a gleaming smile that is whiter than the treasured fruit within. 7KH WDVW\ WUHDW ODWHU ÂżQGV LWV ZD\ WR RXU FUDIW\ ERZOV ZKHUH it complements marinated chicken, breadfruit, and other homeJURZQ IDYRXULWHV $QG ZKLOH FKRZLQJ GRZQ RQ WKH ÂżQJHU licking grub, we’re entertained by “hip-noticâ€? dancers who gyrate erotically to the beat of rhythmic slit drums. It’s a grand ÂżQDOH WR WKH WKUHH KRXU WRXU D VFUXPSWLRXV SDLULQJ ZLWK FXOWXUDO HQULFKPHQW DQG D IHDVW ÂżW IRU DQ\ *RG RU *RGGHVV HYHQ LI WKH\ aren’t related to Tangaroa! SL For IF YOU GO information, visit www.seniorlivingmag.com/ articles/carvers-cooks

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COACH AND CRUISE: PALM SPRINGS, DISNEYLAND April 29 - May 11: 13 Days No need to worry about the exchange on this tour. 19 meals included plus all attractions and accommodations. This relaxed paced tour is just what you need after a wet, cold winter. Head South to Palm Springs, and soak up the warmth of the Califormia Sun. Have fun and explore at Disneyland Park or the Califormia Adventure Park and return aboard the cruise ship, Island Princess, from Los Angeles to Vancouver in your balcony cabin. Highlights include, Living Desert Park, choice of Disneyland or California Adventure Park. Balconies limited, so book early! $2,995 Cdn pp Dbl Occ. No GST.

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INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

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Looking for information about

Senior Housing? Q: Is there anything that we are too old to wear? SIMON CHANG: “Avoid wearing neon colours (unless you’re a billboard). Don’t wear micro-mini skirts (too much show and tell). Forget anything sleeveless and don’t even think about skin-tight dresses (up tight should be out of sight). And say no to low-cut v-neck tops (age spotting is a sport). These are all age-inappropriate.�

and disguise your worst. Regardless of age, we all have areas that need to be underplayed, so draw eyes to your best assets.�

JAN STIMPSON: “The great thing about getting older is that we also get wiser, more FRQÂżGHQW DQG PRUH VHOI assured. We don’t want to dress like teenagers; we want to dress the way PETER NYGĂ…RD: we feel most beautiful. “Yes, low-cut jeans, belly tops, We want to look classy, very low-cut tops and items but still contemporary. A that are too sheer. Sometimes, cropped top looks fantasarms should be covered, too. tic over a draped top. A 'RQÂśW KLJKOLJKW \RXU Ă€DZV Âą short skirt (even a mini!) and we all have them! Learn looks modern to accent your best features and stylish over leggings with a tunic. It’s not Simon Chang is the sole about age – it’s creator, designer, president about dressand owner of Simon Chang Creations, Inc. ing your body Simonchang.com and feeling comfortable. Enjoy looking as glamorous, Peter NygĂĽrd is the creconservative ator, designer and owner or playful as of NygĂĽrd International. Nygard.com you feel in the moment. â€? SL Jan Stimpson is the creator, designer and owner of Sympli Fashions. Symplithebest.com Canada’s top designers weigh in on questions from mature women about how to dress, what to wear, what to avoid and how to look their very best. Have comments or suggestions? Email fashion@seniorlivingmag.com

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To Move or Not to Move? A Helpful Guide for Seniors Considering Their ZÄžĆ?Ĺ?ĚĞŜĆ&#x;Ä‚ĹŻ KƉĆ&#x;ŽŜĆ? Advice from professionals who are experts in the area of assisting seniors with their relocation questions & concerns. This 128 page book provides helpful, easy to read information n and suggestions to help seniors and their families understand the decisions they need to make.

$14.60 includes tax and shipping in Canada To order, visit our website at www.seniorlivingmag.com/ bookstore or call 250-479-4705.

Where to Find Our Designers’ Fashions AurÊa Gems & Essential Luxuries 614 Johnson Street, Victoria, BC www.aureagems.com We specialize in Sympli.

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¿QG DQG JOXWHQ IUHH SURGXFWV /LYH RQ VWDJH )RRG 1HWZRUNœV 6XUUHDO Gourmet, Bob Blumer and Chef Tojo-san from Tojo’s Japanese ResWDXUDQW :LQH EHHU VSLULWV WDVWLQJ 6DXVDJH FRPSHWLWLRQ WDVWLQJ 1HZ Edible Garden area. See ad page 41.

Chemainus Theatre – Million Dollar Quartet Welcome inside the red-hot jam session that created a score of URFN ¾Qœ UROO KLWV 7KLV ZDV WKH RQO\ WLPH (OYLV -HUU\ /HH /HZLV Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash played together. See the show and listen to the legendary music! See ad page 41.

Return to Grace A heartfelt tribute to a music icon featuring over 30 singers, dancers and PXVLFLDQV 5(7851 72 *5$&( GHOLYHUV IDYRXULWHV OLNH Âł+HDUWEUHDN Hotel,â€? “Suspicious Minds,â€? “Love Me Tender,â€? and more! From the .LQJÂśV EHJLQQLQJV LQ 0HPSKLV WR WKH DPD]LQJ Âś &RPHEDFN 6SHFLDO to the historic Aloha from Hawaii concert. www.returntograce.ca See ad page 41.

Cinecenta at University of Victoria Cinecenta is an inexpensive movie alternative for students and the public at large. Cinecenta loves seniors. Their cozy 300-seat WKHDWUH DQG WHUULÂżF FRQFHVVLRQ EDU IHDWXUHV WDVW\ EDNHG JRRGV DQG JUHDW FRŕľľHH 3RSFRUQ ZLWK UHDO EXWWHU DW QR H[WUD FRVW 6HQLRUV RQO\ See ad page 40.

UVic Farquhar Centre 7ZR JUHDW PXVLFDO HYHQWV 'H 'DQQDQ SOD\HG DQ LQĂ€XHQWLDO UROH LQ the development of modern Irish music with their world-class virtuosic instrumental skills and expressive vocalizing. The Glenn Miller Orchestra brings timeless classics back to the stage, performing favourites like “In the Mood,â€? “Moonlight Serenade, Chattanooga Choo Choo. www.ticket.uvic.ca See ad page 41.

Fraser Food Fair This show features over 125 food-related vendors, many hard-to-

View Royal Casino Daily prizes to win between March 18-Apr 14 when you swipe your Encore Card. One free play every day for all Encore Card holders plus redeem the voucher in our ad to get an extra free Swipe2Win. See us at the 55+ Lifestyle Show on March 22 in Victoria. See ad page 40.

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The Family Caregiver

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Intergenerational Relationships

DVW ZHHN , IDFLOLWDWHG D Âł*HW WR .QRZ D *UDQG IULHQG´ day at the local seniors’ residence. My daughter’s class ZDV FKDUJHG ZLWK SUHSDULQJ TXHVWLRQV WR ÂżQG FRPPRQ interests with active and independent seniors, ranging in ages IURP WR \HDUV ROG 0DQ\ RI WKH UHVLGHQWV GRQÂśW KDYH grandchildren close by, so the project was a nice way to honour the importance of intergenerational relationships. On our walk EDFN WR WKH VFKRRO , ZDV Ă€RRGHG ZLWK PHPRULHV ,Q SDUWLFXODU I was reminded of my own grandmother. I’m grateful on many fronts – my grandmother was a mentor in my earlier days and a true friend despite the generation gap. My mom worked full time and being the youngest of four kids, my grandmother helped out immensely by caring for me. She helped shape my beliefs and values, especially as they related to the importance of an education, stewardship, embracing your true self, successful aging and the importance of family and community. My grandmother was a basket of unconditional love; she supported my dreams, soared alongside my accomplishments and held my hand through broken hearts and tough times. I learned many valuable life lessons from the time spent in KHU SUHVHQFH 6KH ZDV VLQJOH KDQGLO\ WKH ODUJHVW LQĂ€XHQFH RQ my gerontological path. Creating intergenerational relationships often comes naturally and, typically, there is a common ground or a shared enthusiasm that isn’t age dependent. Depending on the intergenerational relationship, this could be anything from climbing mountains to gardening to community theatre or choir. For me and my grandmother, it was playing cards, travel and cooking. &RQQHFWLQJ JUDQGFKLOGUHQ ZLWK JUDQGSDUHQWV DV LQĂ€XHQFHUV VWRU\WHOOHUV WHDFKHUV DQG IULHQGV KDV HYHUODVWLQJ EHQHÂżWV It’s a beautiful and meaningful way to link the past with the present. It teaches younger people about respecting those who are

44 42

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

BY WENDY JOHNSTONE

ROGHU DQG WR HPSRZHU WKHP WR ÂżQG RXW LQWHUHVWLQJ WKLQJV DERXW their grandparents and other older family members. It shows younger generations that aging is normal and with LW EULQJV ZLVGRP D GLŕľľHUHQW SHUVSHFWLYH DQG HQFRXUDJHV DFFHSWDQFH RI ORRNLQJ DW WKH ZRUOG GLŕľľHUHQWO\ The reciprocity goes both ways; younger generations foster a continued sense of vitality and vibrancy with an older population. Both young and old learn continued resiliency. As life changes unfold, strategies to adapt and adjust are needed by both the younger and older generation. Many opportunities exist to learn from each other. It can be D JUDQGSDUHQW WHDFKLQJ D JUDQGFKLOG WR Âż[ D FDU NQLW RU PDS RXW a family tree. Or it may be a younger adult teaching an older adult how to delve into the world of technology. A great source of ideas and activities to foster intergeneraWLRQDO UHODWLRQVKLSV FDQ EH IRXQG RQOLQH DW KWWS ZZZ OHJDF\project.org/index.html SL March In-Person Workshops: Ten Tips to Thrive, Survive and Revive! March 1, 2016 10:30am to 12 noon (PST) Not in My Family: Working with Family Caregivers to Reduce Elder Abuse March 3 & March 7, 2016 1pm to 3:30pm March Webinars: Not in my Family: Working with Family Caregivers to Reduce Elder Abuse - March 22, 2016 from 6:30pm to 8pm (PST)

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12 issues for $32 (incl. tax & Can S&H) Name _________________________ Address ________________________ _______________________________ City ___________________________ Prov _____ Postal Code ___________ Mail cheque to: INSPIRED Senior Living #3, 3948 Quadra St., Victoria BC V8X 1J6

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ALWAYS GREAT FEET. Nanaimo’s professional mobile foot care nurses. Debbie Mason LPN and John Patterson LPN. Home, facility, and hospital visits. ExperiHQFHG TXDOLÂżHG QXUVLQJ IRRW FDUH IRU WRHnails, corns, calluses and ingrown nails. Direct billing for DVA clients. 250-390-9266. HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE Provides compassionate, personalized home care services customized to your needs in your own home. Our CAREGiversSM are extensively dementia-trained, bonded, insured, professional, and matched to clients’ preferences. For a complimentary FDUH FRQVXOWDWLRQ LQ KRPH RU LQ RXU RႈFH call 250-382-6565. For more info visit our website www.HomeInstead.com/victoriabc Celebrating 10 years serving seniors! HEALING FOOTCARE for Your Journey. To Lighten Your Step; Call Health Specialist, Nurse Marcia R.N.,B.Sc.N. 250-686-3081. AFFORDABLE APARTMENT HOTEL for MATURE ADULTS! • Best rates for 6 mo & longer! HOTEL • Furnished Bachelor suites + wifi 760 Your Apt. Hotel • Close to Downtown & Bus Lines gs Showinaily 760 Queens at Blanshard D 3 PM 250.590.1660 ligible E: hotel760@gmail.com Safer E

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oor lifestyle habits, including repetitive weight gain and loss, can program your body to operate at a slower rate. When your body’s metabolic DFWLYLW\ UDWH LV VORZ LWœV OHVV HྜFLHQW DW burning calories. If we restrict food, the body protects itself by slowing its metabolic rate to conserve energy. In chronic dieters, the body learns to conserve fat for energy, in anticipation of another diet. This causes metabolism to slow. However, it is possible to change this with sensible lifestyle practices. First, have patience. Boosting metabolism may take time, especially if you’ve been carrying excess body fat for some time. A slow weight loss allows your body and your mind to adapt to functioning at a lower level of bodyweight. That’s why quick weight loss diets are never permanent. It’s a shock to the body when weight is lost quickly, DQG WKH ERG\ ¿JKWV WR UHJDLQ WKH OHYHOV RI body fat it was familiar and comfortable operating with. Eat sensibly. Severe caloric restriction won’t work. Eating and digesting actually burns calories, thereby speeding the metabolism. For some, smaller more frequent meals help boost a sluggish metabolism. If frequent eating won’t work for you, try to eat at regular meal times, especially when hungry, and keep healthy snacks handy for emergencies. Eat when your stomach signals it’s hungry and stop eating when you are content WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

(chew your food slowly, and “listenâ€? to \RXU ERG\ &KRRVH PRVWO\ KLJK ÂżEUH foods for satiety, like whole grains, vegetables and legumes. Restrict the highly processed, sweetened foods, as this may play havoc with your insulin response and stimulate your appetite. Another satiety trick; have a small amount of protein QXWV OHJXPHV GDLU\ SURGXFWV HJJV ÂżVK or chicken) with each meal or snack. Get active. Physical activity also increases metabolic rate. Follow a regular, moderate exercise program or physical activity. In addition, sneak in several gentle exercises throughout the day. Do a few easy squats, abdominal crunches, or push-ups against a desk or wall. Take WKH VWDLUV DQG ZDON PRUH RIWHQ .HHS exercise items handy at home or at the RŕľśFH OLNH D PLQL WUDPSROLQH PLQL VWHSper or hand-held weights. Even a gentle DFWLYLW\ ODVWLQJ WKUHH WR ÂżYH PLQXWHV FDQ keep your mind alert as well as train your body to work at a faster rate. Eat wisely, exercise regularly, and be patient. Your body can be trained to burn FDORULHV PRUH HŕľśFLHQWO\ SL

Eve Lees was a Personal Trainer and NutriWLRQ &RXQVHOORU IRU \HDUV ZZZ DUWQHZV healthnews.com

Senior Living... The Berwick Way™ At Berwick Retirement Communities, you will enjoy an unparalleled standard of living at a superior YDOXH %HUZLFN RȞIHUV DOO WKH FRPIRUWV RI KRPH ZLWK WKH DPHQLWLHV DQG KRVSLWDOLW\ \RX FRPH WR H[SHFW IURP resort style living. Find out more about The Berwick Way™ – Ask one of our Senior Living Experts Today!

www.BerwickRetirement.com V I C TO R I A | N A N A I M O | C O M OX | K A M LO O P S | C A M P B E L L R I V E R Proud to be BC owned and operated 3OHDVH YLVLW RXU ZHEVLWH XQGHU ³+RZ WR +HOS´ DW www.niwra.org

WILDLIFE LEGACIES ,I \RX DUH LQWHUHVWHG LQ PDNLQJ D OLYLQJ :LOO RU OHDYLQJ D OHJDF\ LQ \RXU :LOO WR 1RUWK ,VODQG :LOGOLIH 5HFRYHU\ $VVRFLDWLRQ SOHDVH HPDLO XV DW wildlife@niwra.org IRU D EURFKXUH YLGHR

GENTLE WALK & TALK Thursdays, 9:30-11am Mar 3 - Cedar Hill to Peacock Hill Meet at Cedar Hill Parking Lot outside front entrance.

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THEY DEPEND ON US, AND WE DEPEND ON YOU...

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

Mar 10 - Gorge Waterway Park BN119060549RR0001

Meet at Gorge Waterway, near Canoe Club, Tillicum Rd

Mar 17 - Hyacinth Park & Colquitz Trail Meet at Hyacinth Park, 900 Marigold Ave off Interurban

WEEKEND WALK Sunday, Mar 20th 1-3pm. Lambrick Park to Bow Park Meet at Gordon Head Rec Ctre, main doors, off Feltham Rd For complete listing of walk locations call 250-475-5427 or visit saanich.ca/parkrec/parks/trails/

North Island Wildlife Recovery Centre

250-248-8543 | www.niwra.org %R[ /HIĂ€HU 5RDG (UULQJWRQ %&

WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

MARCH 2016

47

Port Alberni

Vancouver Island’s Most Affordable Retirement Community RETIRE EARLIER WITH MORE MONEY IN THE BANK Most affordable properties on Vancouver Island ____________________ Lowest taxes per average house value on Vancouver Island ____________________ Central Island location ___________________ Unmatched parks, recreation, and heritage facilities ___________________ Thriving arts community ___________________

www.portalberni.ca

52-bed hospital

48

INSPIRED SENIOR LIVING

Contact Pat Deakin 250.720.2527 patrick_deakin@portalberni.ca

WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

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