Senior Living Magazine Vancouver Edition April 2011 by INSPIRED 55+ Lifestyle Magazine

APRIL 2011 TM

Vancouverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 50+ Active Lifestyle Magazine

Stepping Out!

Making New Friendships... Rekindling Old Ones Romance on the Dance Floor www.seniorlivingmag.com

Play Together

FEBRUARY 2011 VANCOUVER ISLAND

Housing Guide for Seniors Up-to-date listings of senior housing facilities throughout Vancouver Island, including Independent/Supportive Living, Assisted Living and Complex Care. This guide is an indispensable resource to:

What to do today? Play WiiTM golf with some friends. Chat about the latest book club selection. Work out with a ﬁtness class. Join the chorus in a sing-a-long. So much choice. Our residents love to connect with others. That’s why we offer plenty of social activities and lots of unscripted fun. Anything that appeals to the desire to stay active. What are you doing for fun today? Play at The Summerhill. Phone for your personal tour. 604.980.6525

135 West 15th Street (off Lonsdale) North Vancouver | 604.980.6525 www.the summerhill.ca Part of Paciﬁc Arbour Retirement Communities

Where good things come together.

Quick, pack the bags Harold! Get Moving and Save.

• seniors looking for alternative housing • seniors moving to Vancouver Island from other parts of BC or out of province • children of seniors who are assisting their parent to select a housing option • professionals who work with seniors or their families • businesses that provide services to seniors

Listings include addresses and contact information, housing costs, number of units in the housing complex, hospitality services, optional home care services, amenities and security features.

TO ORDER a copy... Please mail a cheque for $5.25 ($5 plus GST), along with your name, phone number and address, to Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1. We will mail you a copy of this resourceful housing guide upon receipt of payment.

Are you a Care Giver or expect to be one?

You are not alone! Embrace the Journey

Proof 1 Sign Special up by magazine Senior’s Living Housing Sign up by April3.5” 30 and Size: (1/4 page Vertical) w x 4.75”h, colour May 31 and save up to Rep: Ann Lester | ann@seniorlivingmag.com | 250.390.1805 save up to $8000!* Artwork to: Barbara Risto | publisher@seniorlivingmag.com $

- A Care Giver’s Story

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Oﬀer applies to Independent and Assisted Living Suites only.

Take advantage of this great oﬀer. The sooner you sign up, the more you save! *Sign up with deposit by April 30th and receive 3 months rent free (valued up to $8000). Sign up and place a deposit by May 31st and save up to 2 months rent (valued up to $6000.00). Sign up and place a deposit by June 30th and save up to 1 month free rent (value up to $4000.00). Resident must move in within two months of signing.

Call Jane for more information or to arrange a personal visit. 604.764.8877 22141-119th Avenue mapleridgeseniorsvillage.com

96 pages Softcover 5.5” x 8.5” Price $14.95

Valerie Green’s personal story as a care giver to her elderly parents is the most relevant book on “aging in place” I have read to date. It provides a powerful insight into the challenges faced by every care giver. It unveils the challenges, heartaches, struggles and agonizing decisions that often need to be made along the way. If you are currently a care giver, or anticipate being one in the near future, this book is a must-read. - Publisher Barbara Risto, Senior Living magazine

To order, please send cheque for $20.12 ($14.95 plus $3.95 S&H & taxes) payable to Senior Living. Please include your clearly written shipping address, phone number, and name of book you are ordering. MAIL TO: Senior Living 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1

Allow two weeks for shipping.

�� Senior Living Housing Directory is a valuable online resource for seniors and family members looking for alternative housing to match their desired lifestyle, or medical/mobility needs. Over 500 senior residences and housing communities throughout BC are listed in this comprehensive directory. Compare services, amenities, and prices. Sort your selection by region, or type of care. This directory is published by Senior Living, a monthly magazine distributed to approximately 850 locations across BC.

�� Coming soon: residential listings for Alberta and Saskatchewan.

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Senior Living’s online searchable senior housing directory is a perfect complement to its semi-annual senior housing special editions in February and August. Senior Living also publishes a 128 page book called “To Move or Not to Move? A Helpful Guide for Seniors Considering Their Residential Options.” We have sold over 3,000 copies of this book. No other magazine we know of has such a comprehensive, interconnected group of housing resources. For more information about any of these products or services, call (250)479-4705 or toll-free 1-877-479-4705. Or email ofﬁce@seniorlivingmag.com

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APRIL 2011

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Publisher’s March was a big month for Senior Living with about 3,000 people turning out for our 6th annual Senior Expo in Victoria. Despite weather that went from sunshine to rain and back again, the stream of visitor traffic was steady all day, giving the exhibitors a lot of quality face-to-face time with interested seniors. Whoever says seniors aren’t a lively bunch hasn’t been to our Expo! There were people literally dancing in the aisles as a number of performers took to the stage to entertain throughout the day. In this issue of Senior Living we feature the many ways seniors are finding to socialize. The isolation that can occur as one ages can be quite debilitating. Many people notice it most when their spouse dies or is incapacitated in some way. Suddenly they are thrust into an arena where they have to make a determined effort to stay connected to friends and family. This isn’t always easy, but with a little planning and effort, you can find many groups that welcome single seniors, where you can find people who share a common interest or passion. Of course, dating is another aspect that comes into play as one ages. With the death of a spouse or through divorce, seniors can find themselves having to refresh dating skills they haven’t used since they were teenagers. In this issue you will hear how other seniors are coping in their social lives, and making the most of every day. I hope you are inspired to get out and try some new things. Happy reading! 2

SENIOR LIVING

FEATURES

COLUMNS 4 The Family Caregiver

5 Digital Matchmaker

by Barbara Small

Exploring online dating for seniors.

16 Forever Young

6 Music for the Soul

by William Thomas

Staying active and healthy on the dance ﬂoor.

25 Ask Goldie

8 Meetup.com

by Goldie Carlow

Meet locals who share common interests.

30 Have Fork, Will Travel

10 I Wish I Were Fifty Again

by Sally Jennings

A tongue-in-cheek look at dating later in life.

31 BBB Scam Alert

12 Lonely No More

by Lynda Pasacreta

A second chance at love.

32 Reﬂections: Then & Now by Gipp Forster

13 Girlfriends

No matter their age, girls need their friends.

14 Captain Kurt

Orland Kurtenbach is honoured by the Canucks.

18 Gentle Giant

Artist Jim Adams is passionate about painting.

22 One Heavenly Date

Keeping the romance alive with this fun getaway!

Cover Photo: Argentine tango dancers Claude Esposito and his wife Hazel Baxter. Story page 6. Photo: Lee Massey

26 Making Friends, Making Merry Socializing in the Fraser Valley.

28 A Great Lover

Writer Ruth Kozak’s connection to Alexander the Great.

Senior Living (Vancouver & Lower Mainland) is published by Stratis Publishing. Publisher Barbara Risto Editor Bobbie Jo Reid editor@seniorlivingmag.com Copy Editor Allyson Mantle Advertising Manager Barry Risto 250-479-4705 ext 101 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 sales@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Sales Staff Mitch Desrochers 604-910-8100 Ann Lester 250-390-1805 Mathieu Powell 250-479-4705 ext 104 Barry Risto 250-479-4705 ext 101 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Head Ofﬁce Contact Information: Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 Phone 250-479-4705 Fax 250-479-4808 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 E-mail ofﬁce@seniorlivingmag.com Website www.seniorlivingmag.com Subscriptions: $32 (includes HST, postage and handling) for 12 issues. Canadian residents only. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Unsolicited articles are welcome and should be e-mailed to editor@seniorlivingmag. com Senior Living Vancouver Island is distributed free throughout Vancouver Island. Stratis Publishing Ltd. publishes Senior Living Vancouver Island (12 issues per year) and Senior Living Vancouver & Lower Mainland (12 issues per year). ISSN 1710-3584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)

�� seniorlivingmag.com Enjoy the contents of both Vancouver and Vancouver Island magazines... plus much much more! Do you have an event to promote? We can help. Click on our Events page to post your inoformation for Free.

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Professional advice and information on a variety of products and services that suit your needs are published on the Senior Living website.

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We can help businesses market to seniors throughout the Vancouver Island and Greater Vancouver areas. Whether print, web, or a combination of both, you can place your advertising message with conﬁdence, knowing it will reach your intended audience. Over 120,000 readers per month Up to 75,000 unique visitors per month

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Contact sales@seniorlivingmag.com or call 1.877.479.4705, ext 101 www.seniorlivingmag.com/advertising

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APRIL 2011

THE FAMILY CAREGIVER

Reducing Family Caregiver Isolation

ne of the major issues family caregivers experience is social isolation. Even caregivers who have strong social networks can feel isolated at times. At workshops, when I tell caregivers there are over 94,000 family caregivers in the Capital Regional District and one million in B.C., they are often shocked. Although they know on one level that they aren’t alone, many feel they are the only one going through these challenges – and no one else will understand. In the VON Caregiver Risk Factor Report (2008), social isolation was explained as the lack of social activities and relationships aside from that with the care recipient. It was identified as the highest risk factor experienced by family caregivers and the most frequently observed. Some of the factors that contribute to family caregivers’ isolation: • Not self-identifying as family caregivers, therefore, not accessing services or connecting with other caregivers. • A lack of knowledge of community resources that could provide support. • Other family members living at a

Luxurious Independent Living for Seniors

distance. • The time devoted to caregiving can cause caregivers to feel isolated from friends, family and a social life and they are often too tired to go out. • The care recipient’s health may prevent the caregiver from leaving them alone or respite isn’t available. • The declining health of the caregiver brought on by caregiver burnout. • Family and friends that don’t understand the situation and don’t want to talk about it at length. • Many caregivers don’t ask for help. They believe they should be able to do everything themselves. When caregivers are isolated, it can also make it difficult for others to know when to intervene. Below are some ways caregivers can reduce their isolation: • Sharing your experiences with other caregivers at a support group is a great way to fight the feeling that you are the only person in the world with these problems. • The Internet provides connection with others 24/7 through online discussion forums. You can gain support by linking with other caregivers. • Attend caregiver workshops and

Home-like environment • 24-Hour on-site staﬀ • Home-cooked meals • Personal laundry • One month free

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BY BARBARA SMALL

tele-workshops to learn skills and to connect with others in a similar situation. • Ask family members or friends to help with some of the day-to-day tasks. Contact community organizations that provide respite care and services for family caregivers. This will give both you and the care recipient opportunities to interact with other people, and will provide you with a break, so you can connect with others. • It is easy to let friendships and other connections fade away once the demands of caregiving take over. To stay healthy, make time to stay in contact with others – with even a brief email or a quick call. You are there to provide support to your ill family member, but you need a support network too. Doing so will make you a better caregiver. • Attend events at the activity centres in your community, such as New Horizons, Silver Threads or at your local recreation centre. SL Next month: The Financial Impact of Caregiving Barbara Small is the Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society located in Victoria, BC. www.familycaregiversnetwork.org

Socializing

DIGITAL MATCHMAKER H

BY ALIXE WALLIS

ello Dolly!, one of the most successful musicals of all time is about the adventures of a turn-of-the-century matchmaker. Matchmaking in the 1900s simply entailed one person checking out eligible men and women and getting them together – for a fee, of course. The approach hasn’t changed much, over the years, but now electronic tools are used. Online dating sites are a vibrant new force, and they recognize seniors are interested in forming compatible and stimulating relationships using the Internet as their matchmaker. So, if this approach to dating is appealing, here are a few suggestions from the experts, which might have singles wining and dining sooner than later: CHOICES Happily, online dating isn’t just for young people. Only a click away on the computer screen are pictures of many eligible seniors all seeking a fulfilling relationship. Mega sites aren’t everyone’s cup of tea; there is the option of “niche” sites that make searches more specific. Two examples are Compatti.com who match people up astrologically, while ChristianSinglesDating.com may be helpful for those with religious priorities. COSTS While there are many free online sites, most require a fee for a “premier membership” before they enable access to partners of quality.

INFORMATION Online dating sites offer space to write personal profiles. These cover a multitude of areas: hobbies, special interests, political beliefs, dreams and goals, plus favourite activities – all geared to help make an informed assessment. PerfectMatch.com connects members to each other zeroing in on compatible personality traits. Exchanging e-mails provides a relaxing environment in which to find the right match. Getting acquainted via the Internet and learning a little of each other’s background and special interests can pave the way for a comfortable and confident initial meeting. Plentyoffish.com measures five broad dimensions of personality deemed essential for building a solid relationship. Measuring self-confidence, family orientation and degrees of self-control, among other things, they claim over 17,000 have taken the test successfully. At itsjustlunchvictoria.com, one can watch an informative interview with Jacquie Brownridge, Canadian Managing Director, giving hints on what online dating entails. At Be2.ca, one may opt to contact an appealing profile with the recipient having the choice of responding or not. Making

a contact is a chargeable option and can be accessed for a sixmonth period or longer. For those who exchange messages with fewer than 10 matches over the duration of their memberships, an extension will be applied. BE AWARE Online dating sites usually allow users to look at profile pictures, but a charge is applied when a person wishes to reply – this is the time to read the fine print! Datingforseniors.com has free basic membership, which allows anyone to browse the site, view profiles, send flirts and modify his or her profile. “Charges will accrue if you purchase a premium membership, which is offered at the completion of your profile.” Check out the rules for membership on each online dating site before joining, especially if providing credit card information. Be aware of all the necessary steps to quit the dating site when the time comes. Photos can lie. Everyone wants to put his or her best foot (or face) forward. Many believe chemistry must be there from the start – yet studies show that 35 per cent of singles have fallen in love with someone they didn’t initially find attractive. If the face isn’t quite as charming as pictured, the personality may more than compensate for the looks! You may well find yourself humming “It only takes a moment for your eyes to meet and then...” as your digital era Dolly introduces you to promising prospects. And if romance is what you’re looking for, this is a great way for you to get SL connected! Good luck!

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APRIL 2011

Socializing

Music for the Soul

BY LEE MASSEY

SENIOR LIVING

as Claude says, “I grew up dancing.” The tango continues to gain popularity at the Tuesday evening milongas, attracting people from around the world who discovered the La Tangueria Esposito’s website. The meeting of VSO musician Linda Lee Thomas was serendipitous: she introduced Claude to Edouard Pecourt, a music historian, who had in his collection photos, sheet music, and original 78 records of Gen-

and challenging.” There are two styles of tango. Salon Tango can be performed on an open dance floor with lots of space, and the dancers are close but with some airspace between their bodies; their movements are described as “generous.” The dancers of the Milonguero style hold each other tightly as they coil together on the dance floor. Dancing requires physical determination.

aro Esposito. This connection brought Claude full circle back to his father and the music of tango! Claude explains the tango: “There is no set pattern, and the leader (usually the man) has to choreograph the dance. His dancing partner has to know how to follow the subtle signs of the leader.” Hazel explains, “As a partner, I have to learn how to read the signals of the leader. A dance is always interesting

“The dance can be done as a ‘simple walk’ or using more complicated steps,” says Hazel. “It’s a matter of learning slowly and, like any exercise, building up stamina. The complexity of the dance and the emotional response are factors in keeping the mind and body healthy.” Tango is the magic word that begins new friendships and takes Claude and Hazel to places such as France, Spain, England, Holland and Argentina. The

Photos: Lee Massey

“T

he Argentine tango is the only tango,” says Claude Esposito with a smile. “It is in my blood.” Claude and his wife, Hazel Baxter, are part of the Lower Mainland’s revival of this sultry, slow, seductive dance. During the ’80s, the tango shows began to reappear, after many dormant years, around the world. This coincided with Claude’s renewed interest in the music, although it took another 10 years for the couple to take their first bold steps at a milonga (evening dance). Those in the tango world may recognize the name Genaro Esposito, a world-renowned tango musician, songwriter, and Claude’s father. Genaro moved from Buenos Aires, the birthplace of the tango, to Paris in 1920, where he and his band members had a contract to play their music. The music of the bandoneon was part of Claude’s formative years. When his father died, Claude was only nine years old, but the music had “penetrated his soul.” Claude’s mother had died when he was only 11 months old. “If I had not rediscovered the dance, my father would have remained just a memory for me,” he says. “But now I have some of his recordings, photos and stories of his life.” (www.genaroesposito.com) The “forgotten world” of the Argentine Tango was about to be revealed to Claude. He and Hazel shared a life of travelling, skiing and dancing, while working at full-time jobs. Retirement for Claude meant more time to tango, and Hazel too felt the draw to the world of this mysterious dance. They started with lessons. It was not long before Claude was helping with the teaching;

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Featured Business

Roaring Silence The impact of hearing loss

by Jamie Schaab

THE WORLD BECOMES VERY SMALL when deteriorated hearing closes you off from the rest of the world. It starts with missed syllables, then missed words, and eventually progresses to missed social gatherings because background music always silences punch lines.

tango is performed with the same body language around the world, which allows Claude and Hazel to attend a milonga in Barcelona and dance with locals. The tango community in any city is much like the tango community in Vancouver: it is small, filled with teachers, enthusiasts and students; and welcoming to everyone. Arrangements for the second annual VanTangoFest are underway; Claude and Hazel enjoy helping with this exciting event. At a time in life when many people wind down, Claude and Hazel have found new friends and new interests that keep them active and healthy. When asked how they maintain their high-energy lifestyle, Claude says with passion, “It’s the music; it SL speaks to your soul.”

“Pretty soon you just stop listening,” says Gerry Stitt, clinician and general manager of Clear Choice Hearing Clinics. Gerry explains the way it works with hearing loss is that softer tones and higher pitches become indiscernible ﬁrst, but the brain does a good job of ﬁlling in the blanks because it is so familiar with language at this point. This changes, however, as the brain stops anticipating the missed sounds it hasn’t heard in so long. This is when the gist of conversations begins to be missed altogether. It is important to address hearing loss in the very early stages to avoid this level of deterioration. “The longer the hearing loss if left, the more sophisticated the hearing aid has to be because it has to do part of the brain’s job,” Gerry says. “If I had my way, everyone would get their hearing tested at age 50 – it establishes a base.” And the clinicians at Clear Choice Hearing Clinics’ three Lower Mainland locations are doing their part to make that possible, as they offer free hearing tests to the public. They also ensure that clients receive care from the same clinician upon each visit in order to maintain continuity in treatment and avoid the need to gather background information during follow-up appointments. The clinicians build relationships with their clients during the testing and consultation stages, but it is over the long term that Clear Choice exceeds customer service expectations. Clients are encouraged to come back as many times as necessary until comfortable

Gerry Stitt

Clinician and General Manager

with operating their new hearing aids. And yearly follow-up exams are complimentary for the lifespan of their device. In addition to being specialists in hearing, the clinicians at Clear Choice are also educators. Gerry points out how important it is to check hearing when symptoms mirroring other conditions arise because hearing loss symptoms can mimic those associated with depression, dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. He recounts the story of a quiet woman he met while conducting hearing tests at a seniors’ residence. She spent her days sitting in her chair while staring off into the distance – seemingly incapable or uninterested in socializing. “The problem was, she couldn’t hear. But after getting her set up with appropriate hearing aids, she became the life of the centre.”

Clear Choice Hearing Clinics Lonsdale Medical Clinic, North Vancouver 604.988.8013 Hollyburn Medical Clinic, West Vancouver 604.922.6111 4705A Hastings St., Burnaby 604.294.3273 APRIL 2011 7 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Socializing

Meetup.com

BY ELIZABETH GODLEY

couple of years ago, Louise Ayotte, a retired Vancouver teacher, realized she’d lost several of her women friends. Two had passed way, while two more had moved to far-away cities. “I thought, ‘Gee, I don’t have anyone to go out for coffee or lunch with any more,’” Louise recalls. Computer-savvy, she turned to the Internet for help. “I Googled ‘friends’ and an organization called Meetup appeared.” Following the straightforward directions at www. meetup.com, Louise created a social group specifically for women aged 50 and better who lived in Vancouver. The response was overwhelming. “I had expected maybe eight or 10 women would join,” she says. “Now, we have 175 members. We could easily have 400, but I limited it to Vancouver city.” Similar groups have since sprung up in suburban areas like Coquitlam and Surrey. Meetup.com is an online social networking portal, founded in 2001 by Scott Heiferman, Matt Meeker and Peter Kamali. Not designed as a dating site, Meetup facilitates offline group meetings in various cities around the world. Members seek out and join groups based on a common interest, like politics, books, games, movies, health, pets, careers or hobbies. Finding a Meetup group in an area 8

SENIOR LIVING

is easy. For instance, enter “Victoria, B.C.” and “sea kayaking” and find the Victoria Sea Kayakers Meetup. One click brings users to the group’s “welcome page,” and with another click, a person can become a member with access to a calendar of activities. New members simply show up at the time and place indicated.

members a few dollars to attend events or a low annual fee of $10 or so. Laura Blumenthal, who teaches English as a Second Language in Vancouver, belongs to several Meetup groups. Organizer of the Vancouver Walking Meetup Group, Laura says simply that she enjoys walking. “I love to walk and do it a lot, but I find it a

There are Meetup groups for almost every activity under the sun: knitting, movies, walking, cooking and dining out. Meetup groups also exist for owners of dogs of various breeds. And for those who can’t find what they’re looking for, it’s easy to start a group and become an “organizer.” Meetup organizers pay $180 a year to Meetup headquarters in New York City for administrative services, and many recoup this expense by charging

lot more fun when there are others to share the route with.” She adds: “The other thing I appreciate about Meetup is that it has allowed me to discover something I didn’t know about myself. I seem to be good at organizing people and making sure that most people are happy with what’s happening.” Laura takes pleasure in discovering new places and new things and sharing them with others.

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Socializing “As one person in my walking Meetup group recently told me, ‘I watch for the meetups that you organize as there’s always something unusual and interesting to see on them.’ This fits in perfectly with my philosophy that a day without learning something new is a wasted day – and if we can do it while stretching our legs, getting fresh air, and even the odd spot of sunshine, so much the better!” Since the group was founded in 1996, 1,358 recreational walkers have signed on. Each week, there are at least three walks to choose from, including a regular Wednesday walk around Burnaby Lake. Renee Lindstrom wanted to meet some people who would enjoy watching the four-film DVD she receives by mail each month from a U.S. organization called “The Spiritual Cinema Circle.” “It’s like a book club, but it’s a movie club,” says Renee, a busy single

mother who lives in Victoria. Her plan was to motivate herself to set aside some time to see the films by organizing a monthly Meetup group to watch the DVDs. Otherwise, she says, they tend to pile up, unwatched. In addition, “I was looking to find a community that would be interested in these movies and enjoy discussing them.” Renee started her Meetup group in the fall of 2010, and so far has held five meetings. While 13 people have expressed interest, only about four members have shown up on movie night. She recoups some of her costs by charging participants $3 for an evening of films that typically includes a feature, as well as a couple of shorts and a documentary. Tim Campbell, a Victoria computer analyst, began looking for a camera club a few years ago. His brother, who was studying Spanish and had been going to a Meetup group for Spanish-lan-

guage students, told him about Meetup. After a Google search, Tim discovered a Meetup group of photography enthusiasts in Victoria. When the original organizer of the group bowed out because of time constraints, Tim took over. The Victoria Photography Meetup, founded in 2007, today boasts 411 members, about 50 of them active. As the organizer, Tim arranges a couple of events each month. One involves a speaker, usually a professional photographer, while the other focuses on an outdoor “photo walk,” where members meet at a designated location and then take a walk, on the lookout for suitable photographic subjects. He also organized a weekend in Tofino last February. Six members attended and gave the experience rave reviews. Tim is happy with his Meetup group. “I’ve made a lot of really great friends, and some of them are very talSL ented photographers.”

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Socializing

I WISH I WERE FIFTY AGAIN

riends were more distressed over the divorce than Edna and I. Let’s be practical; after 26 years, it wasn’t a snap decision. Were we once in love, or living a life of failed illusions and romantic fantasies? I’m not complaining. I didn’t have anything else to do anyway. No, there were no tears at our parting. I didn’t even choke up when she drove away with the furniture. The Nikon camera, the one with the telescopic lens – now, that loss was another matter. I should have said something when she packed it into the U-Haul with the rest of our junk. Since she had given it to me for my last birthday, I had begun to believe it was mine. I didn’t sleep well that night. Edna did leave me a few survival items. She let me keep the laundry machines with the assurance she could come over and use them occasionally. (She later admitted her apartment didn’t have a hook-up for the washer and dryer.) I did get to keep the one easy chair the cat had used for a scratching post. She might have taken it too, but the U-Haul was already full. What could I say? Edna was gone that spring, and summer followed with the gradual acceptance of a nagging silence. I had gotten over the urge to explain where I had been, what I had been doing, and otherwise justifying my behaviour. I was also becoming aware I had thoughts of my own. Then, one day, in an uneasy moment, when the bare walls echoed the stillness, it occurred to me that I missed a woman’s company. After meeting Josie at a singles club, I agreed to go to her place and pose for a sketch. “You have such an exquisite masculine face,” she said. Now, tell me, how could I turn her down? 10

SENIOR LIVING

BY ALVIN L. ARNOLD

I admit there may have been moments when the ladies were taking advantage of my inexperience. Not that I was naïve, I was just new to the dating game. After 26 years with one woman, my transition to an active social life was not an easy one. Josie sat me down with my nose pointed at the clock on the wall. She and two of her singles-club friends then created what I thought were exaggerations of my protruding chin. Forty-five minutes and a stiff neck later, they gave me a glass of iced tea and ushered me out the door.

Then, one day, in an uneasy moment, when the bare walls echoed the stillness, it occurred to me that I missed a woman’s company. Then one young lady began coming to the house for visits, while telephone calls were coming from one other budding friendship. I didn’t have an answering machine, and I couldn’t ignore the ringing. Those calls were always catching me unprepared. “What are you doing tonight?” the voice asked. While looking into my lady visitor’s smiling eyes (or was it a smirk?), I’d stammered, “I’ll call you back.” My newest lady friend thought it was strange for an ex-wife to be hanging around the place, and she was quick to express her chagrin. Well, Edna didn’t say much. She just sat, reading my paper, in that easy chair, the one with stuffing erupting from jagged rips. Her eyes, narrow slits, followed our movements over the top of WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

the Daily Sun while she waited for her laundry to dry. Used to old habits, Edna continued to ask my advice. As usual, she ignored it and went ahead and married the guy I thought was a bum. The lady I was dating accompanied me to the wedding reception. Attending the affair was easier than you might think. Edna had insisted on having it at my place. In a way, it was a relief to see her married again. I couldn’t shake an uneasy feeling. If a divorced wife didn’t remarry within a reasonable time, could she be returned to the previous husband? While many unattached find company in social gatherings, it was in the want ads of the Daily Sun where I learned about an even more exclusive singles’ group. An announcement in the personals advertised a meeting for “Singles over Forty” at a restaurant next Sunday. I pasted the announcement on the refrigerator, expecting the potential loss of some cute possibilities because of the age restriction. I arrived late. Only then, strolling into that banquet room, did I have any idea what went on in the mind of an 18year-old girl in a miniskirt, walking by a construction site at lunchtime. Twenty-three pairs of eyes followed my nervous steps to a seat already pulled away from the table. No one could ever accuse any of those ladies of being shy or demure. Nor did I feel any better knowing six of the ogling seniors were men. Agnes, an aggressive octogenarian, was seated to my left. Her bold eyes met mine as I settled into my seat. A coy pretence of playing hard-to-get might have been a violation of their rules. Her hand came to rest on my knee, and I repressed a squirm while trying to eat a spinach leaf salad and a bowl of straw-

berry Jell-O. Her blue tinted hair and obvious maturity didn’t do anything to ease my feelings of anxiety and suspicion. I followed the rhythm of her high-pitched monologue, and nodded and mumbled replies at what I thought were the right moments. She asked if I could square dance. Stunned and staring at her full scarlet lips, I shook my head. Not a hint of disappointment cracked that layer of rouge. God, what a lascivious wink and girlish giggle! She immediately volunteered to give me lessons. The light touch of a hand on my elbow made me aware of Agnes’ competition. Gertrude was slender, discreetly dressed, and a younger woman – about 75. The lady was charming and couldn’t have been a more complimentary conversationalist. But her soft whispers were mere strums of a guitar compared to Agnes’ brass band. She was undoubtedly saying things I would have liked to hear, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her I had left my hearing aids at home. That day, I left the grey-haired singles club with vague memories of what was said – something about dues, dances and shuffleboard contests. They’d surely never wish to be as young as 50 again. And I understood older is fine SL and being single is okay.

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APRIL 2011

LONELY NO MORE BY GEORGE ZADOR

Do you get the Senior Living Readers Newsle�er? Sign up today by visi�ng our website at

www.seniorlivingmag.com Each month, we email subscribers our latest newsle�er containing informa�on you won’t find in our magazine. You never know what we’ll include! We have ar�cles on: • successful re�rement • seasonal recipes • computer �ps • gardening • travel • health • fitness • housing • finances • caregiving, etc. PLUS: Info on upcoming magazine features, events, senior-focused adver�sers, advice ar�cles on our website and interes�ng videos.

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have known my good friend Paul the “game” for so long as most other for almost 45 years, and when I people in his situation. Not interested met him recently for one of our in nightclubbing or other “meat marsuds and snacks, boys-only afternoons, ket” type social contact for the sake of he was just a couple of days past his meeting and having girlfriends, he was 20th wedding anniversary; the date in left with just one popular avenue: the 1990 I remembered well. “Personals” section of the newspaper. Conversation turned to how it is so This was the pre-digital age equivalent much easier these days for single men of the Internet, often derided as the and women in their “golden years” to “Lonely Heart’s column.” After a few days, Paul responded make social contact, all mainly depending on the individual’s attitude and de- to a couple of women, met them for sire. There are seniors’ clubs, singles’ coffee, but told me it was a waste of cruises and vacation resorts but, above time. A while later, he called me excitall, there is the Internet with endless edly to say he had a date lined up with opportunities for a lady whose meeting a potenposting in the My friend had the same paper was much tial partner. All this was, in a way, angst about meeting women to his liking and following a reminiscent of my after being out of the “game” lengthy chat on friend’s search for the phone, they a partner 20 years for so long as most other were both eager before. people in his situation. to meet. Paul was hapI was first pily married to a wonderful woman; they produced two in line to hear about Paul’s date with children and when she was diagnosed Liz at a café in West Vancouver, and with cancer years later, they fought he was ridiculously excited. “This is a the disease tooth and nail. But, after wonderful woman with eyes you can five years of hope, she died and left swim in and a smile that lights up the him with 21 years of memories from a room; she has warmth and a sense of humour, and after 10 years past her digreat marriage. Paul was lost, devastated and lone- vorce, she is just as much looking for ly; his children were grown and gone a partner as I am,” was the breathless from home and he had no other family report of a man otherwise known as in this country. After several months calm and collected. of grieving, he said to me: “You know, My wife and I were witnesses to the I can’t stand this loneliness any more “Paul and Liz story” over the next year, without the companionship of a wom- ending with their wedding and now, 20 an. I think my kids and friends may years later, still seeing them as much in be critical of me for even thinking of love as in the beginning. another woman so soon, but I am 52 It is only when someone asks eiyears old and I need to try for having ther Paul or Liz about how they met another few years of happiness, with- that they both look kind of hesitant in Hockey of Fame saying: “Well, believe it or not, we out forgetting what I hadHall before.” Broadcaster Jim Robson My friend had the same angst about met through an advertisement in the in his home ofﬁce. SL meeting women after being out of newspaper.” WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Girlfriends BY CAROLE BLAKE

“M

ake new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, the other gold” That was a song I learned as a little girl in summer camp. So, does that mean “old” friends are more precious than new ones? Not necessarily! As an only child, my girlfriends were extremely important to me. When I was two-and-a-half, I met a little girl who lived in the apartment next door. Our birthdays were exactly one month-to-the-day apart. (She’s older!) We played Hide ‘n’ Seek, had sleepovers and shared family occasions. When we moved to the suburbs, her family moved to the same neighbourhood. We both went to college in the same town, and we both married and had children (two for me; four for her). And now, both in our 60s (she’s still older), we see each other all the time, and we’re still close. I met another of my close friends in Grade 3. She kept hitting me over the head with her pen, but I’ve gotten over that by now. I’m still friendly with several of the girls I met in high school. And I met a great friend at my tennis club in my 40s. She and I could talk about anything – and we still do! Then there’s my wonderful songwriting collaborator/ friend; and then there are my college roommates who now live scattered in various cities. In my 50s, after a divorce and a new, wonderful second marriage, we moved into a gated community in the suburbs. I’ve made quite a few new friends. (My mom would’ve been so proud!) But after 12 years, are they still new? Well, maybe newer, but not necessarily silver as compared to gold! When you meet someone in your 50s or 60s, it’s a different experience from your childhood days. Each of us has experienced life: sometimes divorce, sometimes widowhood, problems with grown kids, problems with money, aches and pains and I could go on and on. But when you do connect, there’s something very special about bonding with a new friend. We don’t play Hide ‘n’ Seek; we don’t have sleepovers, and we don’t talk about boys; but we do go out to lunch, and we do talk on the phone, and we do go to dinners and parties with (or without) our men. If we’re going through a difficult time, we help each other out. Or at least we try. We play tennis together and, best of all, we laugh together. I think maybe because we’re the ages we are, we tend to open up sooner. Some are closer than others, but I feel very lucky to have so many new SL friends in my life.

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APRIL 2011

Athlete Proﬁle

Captain Kurt

BY KEVIN MCKAY

Photo: Kevin McKay

n October 26, 2010, as part of the 40th anniversary celebrations of the Vancouver Canucks, the team held a ceremony to recognize Orland Kurtenbach, the first captain of the Vancouver NHL team. He became the first player to have his name and image placed on permanent display far above the ice at Rogers Arena in the new Ring of Honour. Modest, humble and a consummate professional, Orland says, “I’d heard some talk about honouring some players from the past and then [General Manager] Mike Gillis invited me to lunch to tell me about the idea of the Ring of Honour and that I would be the first to go up there. The team is recognizing the past and honouring those of us who had earned our spots.” Orland was a big player in the ’60s and ’70s. Standing six-foot-two and weighing 195 pounds, he commanded respect with his size and his ability to fight; yet many people forget he had a lot of offensive ability. “While I was never afraid to stand up for myself or my teammates, I did not go out on the ice seeking to start a fight,” he says. The record agrees with him: during his 11 seasons of NHL hockey, Orland never once accumulated 100 penalty minutes in a single season. His best seasons in the NHL came during the four campaigns he played as captain of the Canucks. During those seasons, Kurt (as he is affectionately known) played 229 games, scored 62 goals and 101 assists. In his previous seven seasons, as a player for the New York Rangers, the Boston Bruins and the Toronto Maple Leafs, he played over 400 games but only scored 57 goals. Though his name will be forever linked with the NHL Canucks, he may have been unavailable to the team if not for an accident that happened when he was a youngster growing up on a farm in Saskatchewan. “My older brother and I were riding bareback when I was five and my horse threw me, breaking my leg,” Kurt recalls. “My brother took me to the hospital and I was in a cast for three 14

SENIOR LIVING

months. One leg grew faster than the other due to the cast, so when I started playing junior hockey my back started hurting very bad. The chiropractor measured my legs and one was out by half an inch. They built up my one shoe and skate and everything was fine for a while.” For his first few seasons of professional hockey, his back was healthy, but one night, while playing in Boston, Kurt was slewfooted by another player. “I always had trouble with my back after that,” he says. “Shortly after, during a game in Montreal, my back seized up

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and I couldn’t push off. I went to see a specialist, and a doctor in New York opened me up, scraped out a piece off the third to fifth lumbar vertebrae and replaced it with a piece of bone he scraped off my hip.” Kurt was incapacitated for six months and wound up losing the entire 1968-69 NHL season. The next year, it took a while for him to recover as he returned from the surgery. “I had no legs that year until just before the playoffs,” he recalls. “I started to feel good about then, but it was too late. Once our season was over [General Manager] Emile Francis of the Rangers told me he had some good young players coming up, and he wouldn’t be able to protect me in the expansion draft. The two new teams coming in were Vancouver and Buffalo and, during my career, I had played professionally in both cities while trying to advance to the NHL. I didn’t dislike Buffalo, but even when playing there I lived across the border in Ontario. My wife is from Vancouver, and I had always loved the city when I had played there. I was delighted to return to the West Coast.” Another reason Orland was pleased to return to Vancouver in 1970 was that he had previously played for both men heading up the new expansion franchises. And while he did not enjoy his time being stuck in a role as a third-line checker during his single season in Toronto playing for Punch Imlach, he has nothing but fond memories of his single championship winning season with the WHL San Francisco Seals and their manager Norman “Bud” Poile. “When Bud called to tell me he had drafted me in the expansion draft, I had my family and all our belongings there within a week. He was very good to me and appointed me as team captain.” The expansion Canucks were placed in the tough eastern division for their inaugural NHL season. Despite this and the fact that they were made up of other teams’ castoffs, they were very competitive for the first two-and-a-half months of the season, sitting in fourth place in their division a week before Christmas with the forward line of Kurt, Wayne Maki and Murray Hall – the second highest scoring line in the league. “It was a very exciting time for everybody,” Kurt recalls. “I was feeling really good and was so happy to be in Vancouver. My wife and I bought our first home and the family was settling down. We had a very tough hockey team and were not going to be intimidated. The puck was going in for our line though I have no idea why. We knew we were doing very well.” In the team’s next game in Toronto, former teammate Bobby Baun hip-checked Kurt low, wiping out his knee and ruining both his and the Canucks season in the process. Kurt went on to play three more seasons in Vancouver before hanging up his skates, and then he did some coaching including two seasons at the helm of the Canucks. The greatest lesson he learned from his time as a coach is how important it is to have players with the right team attitude in the dressing room. It’s hard to imagine any team fortunate enough to have Orland Kurtenbach on its bench would ever have that problem. SL

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6676 203 St., Langley (604) 539-0571 APRIL 2011 15

FOREVER BY WILLIAM THOMAS

Lies My Pants Told Me

understand when politicians lie to me because, in most cases, it’s what they do best. When Prime Minister Stephen Harper lied about not changing the investment rules on income trusts, it cost older Canadians a big chunk of their life savings. I’m still bitter. I understand when my Subaru dealer lies to me and I wind up with $2,600 worth of unnecessary work because that’s how you finance the parts department of a really well-made car. I never went back, but I understood. So, yeah, online lottery sellers, Nigerian tribal chiefs, RCMP taser cowboys, Fox News commentators, the president of Afghanistan, the CEO of BP, I understand the liars and their motives. BUT MY PANTS? For years, maybe as long as 30 years, my pants have been lying to me! Apparently, the North American manufacturers of men’s pants have been playing fast and, yes, very loose with men’s waist sizes and egos. Industry watchdogs recently took a measuring tape to some randomly selected men’s pants and found that all the size 34s were actually 35”, 36” and 37”. From Club Monaco chinos to Levi Strauss Dockers, not one pair of 34” pants tested came in at 34”. They might as well have posted a sign over the pant racks: “Flattery will get your fat ass everywhere, including into these sleek 34” cargo 16

SENIOR LIVING

pants. Wink. Wink.” Industry insiders became suspicious about these miscalculations when the rock star Meatloaf severed his spleen while trying on a pair of 52” jeans at Macy’s and children near the change room were hit with flying debris. Since the ’80s, the pant people have been falsifying our waist sizes. Put another way, for almost 30 years Levi Strauss and Ralph Lauren have been pulling the wool over our legs. Robert Ott, a Toronto fashion design expert explained it this way: “The customer cares about a size 34 fitting the same way today as it did five years ago, so the industry has let his pants grow with him, without penalizing him with a bigger number.” Well, now I get it. The clothing industry was not trying to flatter me with false numbers; they just looked the other way when I should have been given a five-minute major for fattening. I was always a 32” pant size through college, 34” after that and 36” the last 20 years. Or was I? Man, if I find out the guy who sells me shoes has been messing with my measurements and I’m not a size 10, but an “extra-wide clown flapper,” I’m really going to be steamed. I guess we can no longer make fun of teenage boys who wear pants sized “large,” “extra-large” and “room to rent” – turns out their sizing is more accurate than ours. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

The manufacturer of women’s clothing was a lot cleverer than the pant makers. They did away with inches altogether. A women’s 24-inch waist used to be a size 4. Now it’s a size 0 or the incredibly-hard-to-believe 00. Without putting too fine a point on it, apparently men are particular when it comes to size. For example, I always thought Roseanne Barr’s great line about men’s egos would make for a great book title. The main title would read, “Only a Man Can Read a Map” followed by the subtitle “Because Only a Man Can Imagine One Inch Equals Ten Miles.” This fabric flap, feeding us a false sense that we are slimmer and fitter than we actually are is outrageous. In fact, it’s so absurd I can see men rising en masse against North American pant manufacturers and demanding shrinkage! This is so flagrantly fraudulent; the Fruit of the Loom boys may be dragged into the fabricated size scandal and asked to wear a wire. This means some guys have been wearing pants so tight, the wear and tear is on the inside! This means guys walking around thinking they looked like they’d been outfitted by Brooks Brothers appeared to others that they’d actually been decked out by Ringling Brothers. Maybe that’s how men wound up with double-breasted suits. We outgrew

11-0156 WR Plenty To Do-SeniorLiving.qxp:SL

William Thomas is the author of nine books of humour including The True Story of Wainﬂeet and Margaret and Me. Visit his website at www.williamthomas.ca

My goal is to help you reach yours. I’ll work one-on-one with you to develop a comprehensive investment strategy – one that’s right for you and your family’s unique needs and goals. And, I’ll maintain ongoing contact to ensure it remains flexible enough to move with you through each stage of your life. You can be confident I share your goal of enhancing your financial success over the long term. Call me, Peter Tsiandoulas, Branch Manager, Investment Advisor, at 604-654-5414.

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TD Waterhouse Private Investment Advice is a division of TD Waterhouse Canada Inc. (Member of the Canadian Investor Protection Fund), a subsidiary of The Toronto-Dominion Bank. TD Waterhouse is a trade-mark of The Toronto-Dominion Bank, used under license. M01932 (0110)

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Music, drama, dance... Discover Plenty to Do at an Amica Community What’s your pleasure? A calendar full of entertainment, cultural and local activities for you to choose from is just one of the many pleasures of living at one of our all-inclusive rental retirement communities. Our Wellness & Vitality™ staff are much like cruise ship directors, planning and arranging activities that appeal to a wide variety of tastes. Yet if heading out to your favourite shopping spot or visiting friends is in your plans, you can do that too!

It’s always your choice. Call today to book your personal tour and complimentary lunch at one of our communities. Port Coquitlam ~ Amica at Mayfair ~ 604.552.5552 Kerrisdale ~ Amica at Arbutus Manor ~ 604.736.8936 West Vancouver ~ Amica at West Vancouver ~ 604.921.9181 Burnaby ~ Amica at Rideau Manor ~ 604.291.1792 Victoria ~ Amica at Douglas House ~ 250.383.6258 Victoria ~ Amica at Somerset House ~ 250.380.9121 Sidney ~ Amica at Beechwood Village ~ 250.655.0849

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single-breasted suits and, instead of telling us we were getting too fat, the manufacturers just sewed on a second breast. Now that we’re all shrinking, they’ll probably start lying about the length of the pant leg as well. “The guy who fit a size 34 in the ’80s,” says Ott, “well he still wants to fit that size 34 today.” Ya think?! Hell, most baby boomers just want to stay awake long enough to watch The National, but Peter Mansbridge doesn’t trick us by telling us it’s only 8 p.m. How sad is that? Now that our pants are lying to us, the only suit men can really trust is a paternity suit; a test comes with that one. SL

3/11/11

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ESTATE PLANNING Arranging your ﬁnancial affairs so your wealth can be distributed according to your wishes. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

APRIL 2011

Artist Proﬁle

Gentle GIANT

t six-feet-nine inches tall, Jim Adams is not only large in stature, but also multifarious in nature. At age 67, he is an accomplished artist and a retired fine arts teacher. Born in Philadelphia, Jim’s father, an artist, musician and bandleader, was one of the first members of King Oliver’s Creole jazz band and went on to form his own orchestra “Jimmy Adams and his Continentals.” They were the toast of the town in Philadelphia for several years, sharing the stage with such greats as Count Basie, Louie Jordan and Fats Waller. James senior met and married his wife Lucille in Philly, where they raised two sons before moving to California in 2003. “My father never encouraged or discouraged my brother and me when it came to ‘following in his footsteps,’” says Jim. “He wanted us to follow our own directions, and we both ended up following in at least some of his ‘footsteps’ – me as an artist and my brother as an innovative administrator.” Jim received his bachelor’s degree in fine arts from Temple University and his master’s degree from the University of Pennsylvania. 18

SENIOR LIVING

STORY AND PHOTO BY DEE WALMSLEY

While at university, he was a printmaker, but it wasn’t until he discovered acrylic paints that his dream of becoming an artist soared with 15 years of paintings that portray his passion for aviation and flight. Jim began his teaching career while still in graduate school at the Fleisher Memorial Art School and as a lecturer for the print club. He taught at Cal State, and at the Laguna Beach School of Art and Design. In 1969, after a year in California, he moved to Surrey, B.C. and took up a position in the Fine Arts Department at Douglas/Kwantlen University College, where he taught until his retirement in 2000. Jim prides himself on knowing that many of his former students are not only teaching at the post-secondary level, but are all working artists. “Painting is my life; teaching was my career,” says Jim. “I retired from teaching but I’ll never ‘retire’ from painting. They both gave me great satisfaction; teaching as a means of helping others find their creative ‘voice’ and painting as a way of expressing what I see in the world around me.” WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Today, Jim is a prolific artist with works in private and public collections internationally. He works primarily in acrylic and exhibits regularly. His most recent exhibitions are “Mt. Olympus Redux, Myths Revisited” at the Maple Ridge Art Gallery and “Myths and Reality” at the Amelia Douglas Gallery. He paints daily and is motivated by a passage from Joyce Carey’s The Horse’s Mouth: “Art is like a disease, once you’ve got it you can never get rid of it.” His influences are his father Jimmy Adams, Edward Hopper, Alice Neel, Turner and Jacob Lawrence. Jim is also a humanitarian, volunteer, community activist, ardent thrifter (purveyor of second-hand “junque”), aviation paraphernalia collector, avid reader and the inspiration/taxi driver in his Nordic walking group, a pastime he partakes in three mornings a week regardless of weather. His arthritic frame lumbers ahead as it leads fellow walkers through wooded trails and seaside shores until he herds weary bodies into his snack-filled van for the ride to home base. A visit to his closet-like studio finds him encased in art supplies, a cornucopia of plastic

toy airplanes, aviation literature and treasured memorabilia. Jim’s mother was involved in community activities, and he has followed her example and served on a number of committees, like Surrey’s Public Art Advisory Committee, and volunteered with the Surrey Art Gallery, and Cultural Services sector of the city government. In 2008, he was awarded Surrey’s civic treasure status for outstanding lifetime achievement. He is also an advocate for the African Canadian Continuing Education Society and a Surrey Chapter of the Stephen Lewis Foundation Grandmothers for Grandmothers. His fantasy is to see earth from outer space. “I want to sense the scale and unity of where I live… and I want to place myself and the planet in perspective,” says Jim. “We’re actually a very small dot in a very large universe.” He is working towards an exhibition in 2013, and would like to be remembered by his works and achievements as he intends on “having a few more shows under my belt.” “I have often been called a gentle giant, and I would agree with that,” says Jim. “I am intensely curious, I love seeing the world and putting it down on canvas. I am a creature of habit and try to find meaning and order through my work. I am passionately in love with my wife and crazy about my kids.” Jim is the proud father of two adult children, Anya, an assistant director in film and television, and James, an assistant editor in the sports department for The Province newspaper. Jim lives with Mary, the love of his life, in White Rock, B.C. SL

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APRIL 2011

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APRIL 2011

One Heavenly Date Travel & Adventure

BY CHRIS MILLIKAN

ating. My heart flutters at the thought – the anticipation, the getting ready, and yes, another opportunity to know my beau better. But you sure don’t have to be single, a honeymooner – or even young – to enjoy dating! In fact, the older I get, the more value dates have. As an active senior gal, I “go out” as much as possible! The thing is I date my husband! Though married for many years, we’ve kept the dating habit, an important part of our life since we met. Whether a spontaneous surprise or a planned escapade, quality time has long spiced our relationship. Not always expensive, a coffee here, a walk or picnic there often fits the bill. Occasional nights out, an intimate dinner, maybe dancing or a stage play has kept life interesting and romance alive. “Alone time” was important to us even when our youngsters were growing up. Frequently aided by doting grandparents, we escaped overwhelming schedules, duties and responsibilities whenever possible. Having fun as a couple enabled us to strengthen our ties, improve communication and tackle challenges. We were able to refocus priorities and re-energize with the return to the “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” status; we’d once more fall in love, and then continue to balance family and job demands throughout our hectic lives. But unlike the younger singles we used to be, as committed partners we have developed a level of common interests and compatibility, friendship and familiar comfort. No need to struggle to impress each other, since we’ve accepted each other’s limits, preferences and certain foibles. This always makes for a natural atmosphere, so we can be ourselves to relax and dream, review past adventures and visualize a wondrous future. Now retired empty-nesters, date breaks happily continue. Still connecting, re-acquainting and relating, we are continuing our memorable times together – though sometimes moving a little more slowly! Throughout the years, unique encounters or sometimes get-away weekends closer to home always make for interest22

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The author and her husband Rick share a Merlot moment.

ing shared times and, like during our early years, often test out our boomer limits with new diversions: horseback riding, kayaking, bicycle trekking and tubing come to mind. So, as we yearned for a slower pace recently, we travelled to what could easily have been a romantic slice of Tuscany – except it’s in Penticton’s Wine Country, a few hours from Vancouver. Perched alongside a private mountainside amid rows of lush grapevines and apple orchards, Gods Mountain Estate proves a restful retreat, perfect for unwinding. Here, we share a mix of activities. I like walking or hiking; cycling is one of Rick’s passions. And of course, we both love to investigate wineries. Eagerly anticipating four days of togetherness, we soon set out to thoroughly explore this idyllic 47-hectare Mediterranean-style estate. Filled with excitement, we hike to unspoiled meadows along gentle trails that crisscross the mountainside behind the vineyards, where old growth pine and majestic rock cliffs provide homes for local wildlife. We soothe ourselves in peaceful quietude and take in the megaviews of shimmering Skaha Lake that extend below us. As fair-weather cloud puffs morph into whimsical creatures, we laughingly point out fluffy rabbits, elephants and dragons as we did in childhood games. Down below, we read in secretive nooks and crannies

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along the expansive verandah. To maximize our time in these exquisite outdoors, we visit lazily swimming fish in a garden pond, and while Rick later swims laps in the beautiful swimming pool, I soak in the bubbling spa. Daily sightings of family dogs, elusive cats and a handsome white horse nibbling on juicy grapes generate feelings of countrified comfort. Sumptuous Breakfast Room buffets heighten our warm feelings of ease and good cheer, kicking off our days at a civilized 9 a.m. Enfolded in comfortable chesterfields and overstuffed chairs a little later, we sip mid-morning coffees and chat away more morning time, already a world away from our city life. Exhilarating cycling excursions fill up our afternoons. First, we ride along Corkscrew Drive toward Okanagan Falls and sip and sample along the way. At Blasted Church Vineyards, labels such as Dam Flood, Blasphemy and Revered Chardonnay catch our eye. We learn that this winery celebrates pioneer ingenuity. To dismantle and move an iconic 108-yearold church from a mining camp, 16 miles (26 kilometres) away, it was dynamited; not one single plank damaged! And under a migration flyway nearby, Wild Goose Winery offers us award-winning God’s Mountain Riesling from grapes grown up in the estate’s picturesque vineyards. From Okanagan Falls, another scenic ride takes us along a gentle trail paralleling Skaha Lake, ending with a quiet stroll in Pioneer Park and an unhurried patio lunch in the quaint community of Kaleden. On our last day, the pedal uphill on the newly gravelled KVR trail tests my spunk! But with the road warrior’s patience and my perseverance, we stop frequently to appreciate spectacular views above the Naramata Bench – and observe a curious black bear that watches us from a side trail. And after we forge onward to Chinese-built rock ovens left by Kettle Valley Railway workers, we blissfully descend to revive our spirits at Kettle Valley Winery. With their popular Brakeman’s Select sold out, we select Adra Station Chardonnay, named for the

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IMAGINE LIVING WITH SEVERE PAIN and having to wait a year to ﬁnd out what — if anything — can be done to remedy the problem. What would your life look like? In addition to the physical discomfort that accompanies suffering from a medical ailment, the unknowns perpetuate constant stress and anxiety. Quality of life deteriorates along with your mood and manifests in strained interpersonal relationships. Once enjoyed pastimes are put on hold, and chores of daily living go undone. Sleep becomes interrupted by constant pain and mental anguish – and this starts taking a toll on your career. “It’s just a big ripple effect,” says Dr. Kristina Sharma. Dr. Sharma is a radiologist at AIM Medical Imaging, a leading edge MRI centre located in the heart of Vancouver, and she knows all too well the distress in which people are living when waiting for their turn within the medical system. Choosing to visit a private MRI centre, such as AIM Medical Imaging, is choosing to be pro-active about your health. Good news elicits instant peace of mind, and even bad news becomes empowering because something can now be done with that information. Clients at AIM are people ﬁrst and patients second. From the moment a client walks through the door, each staff member is committed to providing the most comfortable experience possible. Instead of waiting months to have an MRI through the public medical system, AIM’s clients can often be seen the day they call for an appointment. The atmosphere in the clinic is tranquil. Each patient is provided with a private waiting room in which accompanying friends or family members can sit and watch TV while waiting. And patients are welcome to bring their favourite music or an audio book to listen to for the duration of the scan, though

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APRIL 2011

Biking KVR trail along Lake Skaha.

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old train station beyond the KVR’s longest tunnel. In our extraordinary roofless room back at the estate, glasses of robust merlot conclude each satisfying sunlit day as we frequently toast the simple life, fond memories and hopes for the future. Wineglasses poised, we nestle into blue wooden rockers pulled up to a tiny wrought iron table; incredible wraparound views backstop our leisurely late-afternoon Scrabble games. The blue-sky ceiling of our unique room transforms into sunset yellows, reds and mauves. And cuddled under cozy covers each magical night, we sleep under star-studded black velvet skies. Following this string of enchanted days on God’s Mountain, we’re ready to plunge ahead with enthusiasm again – until our next time out! Laughing and playing throughout our SL married years, keeping stress low and love in the air. When You Go: • For everything Penticton has to offer, visit the website at www.tourismpenticton.com • For Bed & Breakfast details at God’s Mountain Estate, visit www.godsmountain.com Lake Skaha views from God’s Mountain.

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Photos: Rick and Chris Millikan

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Photo: Jason van der Valk

ASK

Goldie

BY GOLDIE CARLOW, M.ED

Dear Goldie: While I was working for a living and very busy, I was forever looking forward to retirement. Well, here I am now, retired from daily work, but life doesn’t seem to be any different. My health is good and finances are okay, so why I am in this rut? I am happily married with four grown children and six grandchildren. I know I am a very lucky man, but can’t seem to shake the lethargy. What can you suggest? –D.L.

Dear R.O.: Well, it sounds like you need a family conference with your granddaughter. Regardless of what she may have done at home, she now resides with you and your “House Rules” prevail. She is not living in a hotel, so she should respect your home and the way you live. It is possible that with her mother away, the girl feels she has no rules or curfew. A little family conference can enlighten her, and make your life easier. She needs to be aware that you have an obligation to her mother, as well as concern for her welfare. After all, she is your granddaughter and you love SL her. Have your conference as soon as possible. Goldie Carlow is a retired registered nurse, clinical counsellor and senior peer counselling trainer. Send letters to Senior Living, Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria, BC V8T 2C1. Senior Peer Counselling Centres (Lower Mainland)

Dear D.L.: Although you comment on being happy and lucky, you don’t sound very convincing. Your circumstances are not a problem, so perhaps your thinking should be examined. When you were engaged in daily work, part of your brain actively concentrated and planned; a storage vault for information and experience, needed for workplace survival. The other part of your brain dealt with matters of the heart giving you wisdom and contentment. This is your current problem. Your mind is not your enemy, but your thoughts can be. You have the resources to live a happy and fulfilled life, regardless of its challenges. So, start to concentrate on positive thoughts and you will gradually find happiness. Some psychologists say all you achieve in life is the direct result of your own thoughts. Dear Goldie: My wife and I are in our 70s, in good health and socially active. Recently our eldest daughter took off on a two-month vacation leaving her teenaged daughter with us. Our granddaughter is 19, in second-year university and very active in sports. We really enjoy having her with us but realize it is many years since we had youth in our care. Times have changed! The problem we are having concerns her whereabouts. Sometimes, she is home at 5 p.m., and other times at midnight. It is quite inconvenient at dinner time, but when we try to discuss it, she just laughs, says not to worry she can fix her own. Perhaps we are out of touch with young people at this time of life, but I really am concerned about her welfare, as well as our promise to her mother to take good care of her. Your advice will be appreciated. –R.O.

New Westminster 604-519-1064 North Vancouver 604-987-8138 Burnaby 604-291-2258 Richmond 604-279-7034 Vancouver West End 604-669-7339 Coquitlam – Tri-Cities 604-945-4480 Vancouver Westside 604-736-3588

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Socializing

Making Friends, Making Merry

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Photo: Bev Yaworski

idowed, divorced or BY BEV YAWORSKI otherwise single and unattached seniors may wonder how to meet new people. And while Internet dating or matchmaking services may suit some, they are not to everyone’s liking. Seniors’ social groups, the Circle of Friends and the McKee Diner’s Club, invite new members in the Fraser Valley to join and enhance one’s social life. Circle of Friends – a lively, Deltabased social club – offers senior singles a way to meet people, go to new events and have fun. “The world is very much designed for couples,” says Jill Legge, vice-president of Circle of Friends. “For those who may have lost a partner, it is very difficult to start a social life again and break in. Sometimes, seJill Legge prepares for a Circle of Friends Chinese New Year’s celebration. niors even get excluded after they find themselves single because people don’t know quite where to put them. Many seniors are not keen “posh frocks” or take part in the outrageous Jamaican limbo on doing the Internet thing, yet they would like to have dance. Jill recently decorated her dining room with a stuna social life, but they don’t necessarily want to date. Our ning display of Asian bright red and gold in anticipation of group fills that gap.” a Chinese New Year’s celebration to welcome her Circle of The Circle of Friends provides a safe, comfortable, fun Friends guests. environment for seniors in their 60s to 80s. The group can “The club belongs very much to its members,” adds Jill. also attest to several marriages because of couples that have “That’s an important feature of this club. It’s not cliquey. Memmet through this club. bers decide what they want to do. We have a monthly calendar “We’ve had our share of romances. Several people have planning meeting and members can suggest activities.” ended up dating,” adds Jill. “Because it’s not an exclusive Although there are fewer men in the club, those who do dating group, when people do get together at the club, it’s participate really enjoy themselves. much more natural. They are doing other activities and are “Men tend not to be big club joiners,” says Jill. “They not there ‘to date.’ That’s the difference.” usually have networks from work, but when they retire, A buffet of inspired monthly activities is offered for men may have fewer social networks. A club like this can members to choose from – everything from dances, potluck actually be a boon to single men after retirement because dinners, seasonal holiday or international-themed events, there are so many things they can do here. We would like bowling, beach walks and much more. Their creative activi- to see new members, and we’d especially like to see more ties have included a Valentine’s Dessert evening, Murder men. We’d certainly like to make them feel welcome. And Mystery night, a Hollywood Oscars get-together, a medi- when they come, they can bring their ideas with them.” eval gathering and a trip to the Science Centre. Group memThe group has been operating successfully for over bers really get into the spirit of the event and dress up in 10 years with numbers varying from 25 to 50 members.

Generally, participants tend to live in the Delta/South Surrey/White Rock area. To find out more about the Circle of Friends, contact their membership representative Lesley at 604946-9180 or Mike at 604-946-3773. Another option for single seniors in the Lower Mainland is the Ladner McKee Senior’s Centre Diner’s Club. This relatively new group meets monthly at a different Metro Vancouver restaurant to enjoy delicious food, fun and friendship. Couples are also welcome. “We have a great time with a lot of laughs,” says Marlene Biles, club coordinator. “It’s not just about food. It’s every bit as much a social thing. Many of the participants don’t get a chance to get out very far and may not drive. So, it’s a treat for them to get someone else to take them to a restaurant. We try to get as much variety as we can in restaurants, predominately in Richmond and South Delta.” Marlene and co-organizer Inge scout out restaurants ahead of time by going in for lunch to look at décor and food. If they like what they see, they will book for the group usually two months ahead. Some of their recent favourites: River House, Elephant and Castle, Country Meadows and La Belle Auberge. Marlene always brings jokes to the table to break the ice and add fun. Diners circulate around the dining tables to chat with new people. A prize draw also gets many laughs. “We haven’t had any romances or dating couples yet that I am aware of,” says Marlene, with a laugh. “But I suppose that could happen in the future as we are still quite a new group. Right now, it would be nice to attract more men. Some do come, but more would be nice.” For more information about the McKee Diner’s Club, contact Marlene at 604-946-3071. The often-quoted verse: “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” may soon be a good rallying SL call for many a seniors’ group.

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3 locations to serve you: Lonsdale Medical Clinic, North Vancouver — 604 988 8013 Hollyburn Medical Clinic, West Vancouver — 604 922 6111 4705A Hastings Street, Burnaby — 604 294 3273

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APRIL 2011

A Great Lover

BY LEE MASSEY

uth Kozak has a lover and his name is Alexander the Great. “I now have the time to devote myself to writing and to finishing my book about him,” says Ruth. “I’ll never retire; I am a writer, and I enjoy sharing what I know and discovering talent.” Ruth was raised in the after-effects of the Great Depression. Her coal-miner father emigrated from Wales to Saskatchewan where, as a Baptist minister, he worked alongside another Baptist minister and well-known Canadian Tommy Douglas. Ruth started writing when she was 10, and became interested in writing historical fiction after the family moved to the West Coast; they crossed Canada from Ontario by train, after her father returned from the Second World War. But her talent for writing was not promoted by the school system. When she was 16 in a high school history class, she was introduced to Alexander the Great and by the time Ruth left high school, she had written her first Alexander-themed novel. Her curiosity and focus on writing gave her a purpose in life. She knew in her heart that writing was her destiny. Starting as a copy runner at the Vancouver Sun with aspirations of becoming a reporter, Ruth later found herself working in the news library, but marriage and children were soon diverting her from her calling. Several years later, a single mother whose children were now independent, Greece called Ruth, and she went there on holidays and walked in the footsteps of Alexander. The Oracle at Delphi did not issue her a direct prophecy, however, from her research and ability to absorb and reflect upon the historical Greeks, Ruth intuited a welcome greeting from this historical site: she experienced a moment of “déjà vu.” Whether or not it was her mind playing tricks, it was thrilling when looking up as she was sitting on the pathway to the ancient stadium, Ruth “saw” Alexander walking down the path with his companions. She knew then, more than ever, that she must tell his story. While living in Greece, Ruth was supporting herself by teaching English as a Second Language to children and writing travel stories for publications in Canada. These were the days before the ease and speed of the Internet. Ruth typed her notes on a portable typewriter set upon an upturned drawer in her room in Athens, or in a shepherd’s cottage in a tiny village called Lala on the island of Evia. The stories had to be sent in the mail. As her love affair with Greece became more intense, Ruth spent several more years there, where she met new friends. She continues to keep in touch and visit whenever the opportunity arises. Ruth has a Vancouver home address, although her soul resides with the ancient Greeks. She has discovered that Greek women played a powerful role in the development of events in history; a topic investigated in her soon-to-be finished novel Shadow of 28

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the Lion, which is about the fall of Alexander’s dynasty. Ruth keeps busy teaching writing classes for the Vancouver School Board and editing and publishing an online travel magazine, www.travelthruhistory.com, providing a place for new writers to be published. In her creative writing night school classes, she teaches the basics of how to get started, how to put a story together and tips of the trade. She also instructs classes in Life Writing and travel journalism. “I love it when a student gets published,” says Ruth. “So many people have the potential to write, and they have some great stories to tell. It is so rewarding to get your thoughts on

Photo: Lee Massey

Author Proﬁle

paper. My writer’s critique group, the Scribblers, often spends weekends on lovely, peaceful Mayne Island, where we take the time to relax and learn to write unhurriedly. In the spring, I’m planning to conduct a weekend workshop there with my colleague Sylvia Taylor for life writers and travel bloggers.” Besides her current work-in-progress, Ruth has a Celtic novel half-finished also with a connection to Alexander, and a play about the lyric poet Sappho. She hopes to soon start writing her travel memoirs about her life below the Acropolis. Getting outside for physical activity such as swimming, hiking and walking is part of Ruth’s lifestyle too, as is carrying a notebook and jotting down any and all sightings that could be included in her stories. Alexander smiles from the heavens, pleased that his tale continues to be told, and although email and blogs may confuse him, he is confident that Ruth will truthfully write his story. SL Visit Ruth’s blog: http://wynnbexton.blogspot.com

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Have Fork, Will Travel Chocolate Fudge Cake

here is no doubt that chocolate beats kissing hands down when it comes to providing a long-lasting body and brain buzz; a buzz that, in many cases, lasted four times as long as the most passionate kiss.” Heartbeats go from 60 to 140 beats per minute, according to a study carried out by Dr. David Lewis of Mind Lab. No wonder the Aztecs thought cacao beans were valuable as currency. A turkey was worth 100 beans and an avocado was a bargain at three beans. Taxes were paid in cacao beans. This is powerful stuff. Two-thirds of the chocolate people eat today comes from West Africa. The variety of tree is Forastero and it originated in the Amazon Basin. In Central America, cacao has been grown and processed for over three millennia but wasn’t available in Europe until the 1500s when it was introduced by the Spanish. The drink was an expensive delicacy for a century until plantations were established in Mesoamerica with an African workforce. The first chocolate house opened in London in 1657. In 1689, Dr. Hans Sloane invented a milk chocolate drink that was used by apothecaries and later sold to the Cadbury brothers in 1897. The Industrial Revolution stimulated the invention of machines to process chocolate, which made it more accessible. In 1847, Joseph Fry and Son discovered how to make solid chocolate and the chocolate bar was born. Call it what you like, xocolatl contains alkaloids such as theobromine and phenylethylamine, which affect the body, fight fatigue, raise serotonin levels and even lower blood pressure; dark chocolate may benefit circulation. It may fight cancer, stimulate the brain and reduce coughing. But do we need these reasons to eat it? The most reliable way of absorbing chocolate is by mouth. This cake will increase your heartbeat and give you a buzz you won’t regret.

CHOCOLATE FUDGE CAKE 1/2 cup butter, softened 1 cup sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla essence 2/3 cup cocoa 1/2 cup water 2 tsp. vinegar 1 cup milk 1/3 cup flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. baking soda pinch of salt

CHOCOLATE VIENNA ICING 1/2 cup butter 3 Tbsp. cocoa 3 Tbsp. water 2 1/2 cups icing sugar 1 tsp. vanilla essence

CAKE: In a medium or large bowl, melt butter in microwave. Add sugar, eggs, vanilla and beat. In a small bowl, blend cocoa and water. Add to creamed mixture. In 1-cup glass jug, add vinegar to milk to sour. In large glass jug, add flour, baking powder, soda and salt. Add to creamed mixture with sour milk. Pour into two greased and floured 8-inch (20-centimetre) round cake tins or one 9 x 13” (23 x 33 cm) pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Cool slightly before turning out onto wire rack. Ice with Chocolate Vienna Icing. ICING: In a medium bowl, beat 1/2 cup butter until creamy. In a small bowl, blend 3 Tbsp. cocoa with 3 Tbsp. water until smooth. Add 2 1/2 cups icing sugar to butter alternately with cocoa mixture. Optional: vanilla SL essence. Sally Jennings is a writer, editor, tour guide. She has lived and dined on ﬁve continents, with no regrets. pto_edit@yahoo.ca

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Photo: Caroline Mufford

“T

BY SALLY JENNINGS

BBB Better Better Better Better

Business Business Business Business

Bureau Bureau Bureau Bureau

SCAM ALERT

BY LYNDA PASACRETA

Don’t Get Burned Looking for Love

nline dating and companion service sites are dissatisfaction with the company and its process, and the popping up everywhere on the web. Many practice of the company contacting other singles on behalf new sites target the senior population and of the complainant. promise to connect you with the person of BBB offers the following advice on matchmaking and your dreams. Beware: many people who have gone online online dating services: looking for love find only headache, heartache or an emptied wallet. • Don’t fall in love with the advertising. Beware of claims Canadians spend millions of dollars on online dating such as, “an exclusive network of people,” “for sincere daters sites each year. Whether you’re 25 or 75 years old, whether only,” and “beautiful singles just like you.” you’re willing to pay thousands for a matchmaker or $50 a month for a website membership, it’s important to know • Do your homework. Check out the company with BBB exactly what you’re getting into and exactly how to get out (www.bbb.org) to make sure it has a history of satisfying of it, when it comes to online dating services. customers and resolving complaints. The dating services industry is divided into two catego• Don’t give in to high-pressure ries: personalized matchmaking companies and online dating websales tactics. Sales associates may tell people that a low price is only sites. The two services take a differDon’t fall in love with the ent approach to helping people find good for that day and ask them to sign a contract immediately. People love and, as a result, the types of advertising. Beware of claims complaints to BBB are divergent. should take the contract home, read such as... “beautiful singles it carefully and make sure they understand what they are signing up Matchmaking Complaints just like you.” and paying for. Matchmaking and local dating services, which can cost thousands of dollars, promise to introduce • Know how to break up. Conpeople to other area singles that meet specified criteria. sumers should not assume that they will stop being billed Common complaints for matchmaking services reveal: once the contract runs out. Many online dating sites automatically renew memberships and there are steps that must • Dissatisfaction with the number of arranged dates. be taken, such as calling the company, to keep from being • Available singles not up to par. billed again. • Poor customer service and high-pressure sales tactics. Online Dating Complaints Unlike matchmakers and local dating services, most online dating websites provide a forum for users to post information about themselves and offer the opportunity to peruse the site for other singles. Common complaints for online dating services include the inability to immediately cancel after signing up, general

For more trustworthy information on matchmaking and online dating services, consumers can access BBB Business SL Reviews free-of-charge at www.bbb.org Lynda Pasacreta is President of the Better Business Bureau of Mainland B.C. www.mbc.bbb.org To contact Lynda Pasacreta, e-mail president@mbc.bbb.org

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APRIL 2011

I LIKE TEDDY BEARS

Photo: Krystle Wiseman

Reﬂections THEN & NOW

BY GIPP FORSTER

like teddy bears. I’ve always liked them. I’m in my two hopes: One is that they will be there and the other is seventies and I still like teddy bears. My wife thinks that I will be there! I’m weird. My kids and grandkids think I should seek Teddy bears hint at softness in a harsh world – a fantasy help. Even our mail carrier looks at me strangely when I that gently asks to be cuddled. Most of us think we’re too answer the door clutching a teddy bear! tough for that – too mature and grown up. Too dull! But My wife not only thinks I’m weird, but out of control. I not all of us! A few dared believe – like Walt Disney and guess that’s because I have well over 100 teddy bears. I’ve Dr. Seuss and Charles Shultz. At one time, most people named a lot of them: Beauford, Bubba, Mr. Brown, Calvin, laughed at them too, until the cheques from their visions Cuddles and, of course, Teddy. There are a lot more names, started to roll in! but I get a headache trying to remember them all. They’re To think of a world without Mickey Mouse or Bambi or all my friends, and none of them think I’m weird. Pinocchio or Charlie Brown is difficult to comprehend or They all talk to me, but I’m accept – at least for me. Where the only one who can hear them. would we be if we didn’t have That’s because, in our house, the soft pillow of fantasy to lay My wife thinks I’m weird... Even I’m the only one who believes. our heads on every now and our mail carrier looks at me Anything is possible if you bethen? Teddy bears would just be lieve hard enough! My wife just strangely when I answer the door mumbled, “Don’t tempt me.” stuffed toys without heart or clutching a teddy bear! magic. But they’re more than Whatever that means! that! Each stuffed toy has a I have a teddy bear in a pilot’s story to tell – even if we don’t outfit, complete with goggles. His name is Charles. I have another in a black leather jacket listen. The story is there. It’s the belief that’s missing. Uncle Boris used to tell me (he’s a bear that goes back with chains on it – just like Marlon Brando in The Wild One. 60 years or more), “A mind without a heart is a mind that His name, of course, is Marlon. There’s another one that looks like Einstein, another misses much.” I know believing in, talking to and talking about cuddressed like a doctor and still another dressed like a nurse. Their names are Albert, Livingston and Florence. Each dly teddy bears is not very macho and may be frowned on one answers to his or her name, so I guess they’re okay by some. I’m in my mid-seventies now, so what do I care with them. what they think? I care what the wee bears think. Bless their I have three long shelves in our garage with nothing but fuzzy little hearts! I’m no less a man because my imagination still chooses white Christmas bears gazing down at us. They’ve been up there a long time. I’m afraid on closer inspection they to giggle. No less a man, because I still believe that toys may be slightly grey and no longer white. But they sure can dance. do sparkle at Christmastime when they’re on display. They After all, Pinocchio was a puppet that became a real even sing in unison but, again, it’s such a shame that only I boy, and Jesus said that only if we be like a little child can hear them. can we enter in. I sure hope talking and listening to teddy I don’t know if there are teddy bears in heaven. I have bears counts! SL 32

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To Move or Not to Move?

BC EDITION

A Helpful Guide For Seniors Considering Their Residential Options

Published by Senior Living January 2009

ONLY

9.95

If you are a senior who has been wondering lately whether you should consider moving - either because you find the maintenance of your current home more difficult due to diminishing ability or energy, or you simply want a lifestyle that allows you more freedom and less responsibility - then this is the book that can help you ask the right questions and find the solution that is right for you. • What residential options are available? • Define your current situation - What residential option is right for you? • How to research and assess Independent and Assisted Living residences. • What do Independent, Assisted Living and Complex Care facilities have to offer? • How much does it cost to live in an Assisted Living residence? What subsidies are available? • Thinking of moving in with family members? Questions to consider before making your decision. • Are there any other residential options besides Independent, Assisted Living and Complex Care facilities? • If you choose to stay in your own home, what are your options and what should you plan for? • Who can help you decide what you can or cannot afford? • Funding sources available to seniors - tax deductions, housing subsidies, home care subsidies, equipment loan programs, renovation grants, etc. • Selling your home - how to find the right realtor or relocation services to assist your move. • Downsizing - Where do you start? How do you proceed? • Adapting your home to meet your mobility needs - tips and suggestions • Hiring home care services; do it yourself or hire an agency? • Legal matters - how to make sure you receive the care you desire should you not be able to communicate due to some incapacitating condition • AND MUCH MORE

Advice from professionals who are experts in the area of assisting seniors with their relocation questions and concerns. A handy reference guide for seniors and their families wrestling with the issues around whether relocation is the best option. This 128-page book provides helpful, easy to read information and suggestions to help seniors and their families understand the decisions they need to make.

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