Senior Living Magazine Island Edition November 2011 by INSPIRED 55+ Lifestyle Magazine

NOVEMBER 2011 TM

Vancouver Island’s 50+ Active Lifestyle Magazine

The Honourable Steven Point Lieutenant Governor of B.C.

• Meet B.C.’s Lieutenant Governor • Adventures in Nursing • Nanaimo Octogenarians Hit the Airwaves Special: PLANNED GIVING Issue Playing Santa All Year Lifelong Givers Supporters of the Opera

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FEATURES ��

40 Travel

6 Serving the Community

46 Classiﬁeds

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His Honour, The Honourable Steven Point Lieutenant Governor of British Columbia.

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PLANNED GIVING SECTION

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14 Planning Your Charitable Legacy

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The beneﬁts, practicalities and issues surrounding planned charitable giving.

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DEPARTMENTS

COLUMNS

10 Granting Wishes

Volunteer Bill Barrs plays Santa Claus all year. Exploring ways to support your community.

18 Lifelong Givers

One generous Island couple have dedicated their lives to giving back in numerous ways.

22 Legal Viewpoint

5 The Family Caregiver by Barbara Small

44 Ask Goldie by Goldie Carlow

45 Courageous & Outrageous by Pat Nichol

48 Reﬂections: Then & Now by Gipp Forster

24 Celebrating Donors

Proﬁling generous supporters of the opera. Cover Photo: The Honourable Steven Point Lieutenant Governor of B.C. in his ofﬁce. Story page 6. Photo: Onnig Cavoukian

26 Adventures in Nursing

Leslie Sundby travels the world to help others.

30 A Family Hero

Visiting the grave of an uncle Valerie Green never knew.

32 A “Heritage” Gem

Former B&B owner and natural storyteller turns author.

34 Nanaimo Octogenarians Hit the Airwaves Sharing their skills, serving the community and having fun!

36 Playing a Legend

Bill Zaalberg takes to the stage in a tribute to Neil Diamond. Senior Living (Vancouver Island) is published by Stratis Publishing. Publisher Barbara Risto Editor Bobbie Jo Reid editor@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Coordinator/Designer Steffany Gundling Copy Editor Allyson Mantle Advertising Manager Barry Risto 250-479-4705 ext 101 For advertising information, call 250-479-4705 sales@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Sales Staff Ann Lester 250-390-1805 Mathieu Powell 250-479-4705 ext 104 Barry Risto 250-479-4705 ext 101 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

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THE FAMILY CAREGIVER

BY BARBARA SMALL

Supporting the Person Who Cares for You

amily caregivers are good at putting others first. As the demands for caregiving increase, their own needs often get pushed aside. Caregivers can quickly become exhausted, overwhelmed and burnt-out. Before this happens, it is important that caregivers take time to relax and rejuvenate. As the person who receives the care, thank your family member and give back by encouraging him or her to take time to replenish. Here are some ideas: 1. Say thank you: A simple recognition of their time and effort is often enough to make family caregivers feel appreciated. You could say to them, “Thank you for doing all that you do for me” or “Thank you for being there for me. I know you have many other demands in your life.” 2. Encourage your caregiver to attend a support group. Although friends and family can be supportive, sharing feelings with strangers can sometimes be easier, especially if those strangers can relate to a situation. There are caregiver support groups available through most caregiver support organizations, as well

as through many of the disease-specific organizations, such as the Alzheimer Society. Many are listed on the FCNS website at www.familycaregiversnetwork.org. 3. Share the care. If you are able to, help co-ordinate with family and friends to take some duties off the caregiver’s hands or ask another family member to do this for you. If everyone takes one task, the impact can be huge. Arrange for someone to relieve your caregiver for extended periods. They may be resistant to sharing the care because they feel responsible or obligated to do it all. Ensure them that you are okay with other people’s help and that you want them to take some time for themselves. 4. Prioritize. Help your caregiver determine what tasks are unnecessary or less important. Family caregivers often want to do it all and may need “permission” to let go of tasks without feeling they are failing you. 5. Arrange for help with errands and chores. Household chores and daily errands can get pushed aside by the more essential requirements of caregiving. Arrange for others to help with these or, if

possible, pay someone to do them. Groceries can be ordered online and delivered. Neighbours or members of your church could bring in meals. 6. Give the gift of relaxation. Treat your caregiver to a manicure, massage or other relaxing pleasure. If finances are a concern, allow others to chip in. Local massage or aesthetic schools often offer services at reduced prices. 7. Take time to have some fun and laugh together. Spend time together that does not revolve around caregiving. Revisit your old relationship. If able, attend a play together or arrange for dinner to be delivered and stay home and watch a movie together. Making the effort to show your appreciation to your caregiver can help them stay strong and healthy, and better able to care for you for as long as is needed. SL Next month: Caregiving During the Holiday Season Barbara Small is the Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society located in Victoria, BC. www.familycaregiversnetwork.org

The Family Caregiver column is brought to you by the generous sponsorship of Saint Elizabeth

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Our Community

Serving the Community BY KEVIN MCKAY

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B.C.’s Lieutenant-Governor Steven Point

Photo: Onnig Cavoukian

he lieutenant-governor of British Columbia has a complex job. On any given day he or she may have to swear in a premier, greet foreign royalty, preside over an official ceremony, give royal assent to a new law and much more. Given the diverse nature of the position, it may come as a surprise to learn the most poignant moment of Lieutenant-Governor Steven Point’s job so far. While visiting the Cowichan community recently, Point watched a youth corps of army cadets on parade. He says, “They were all dressed up in their uniforms and one of the young girls was shouting the orders with tears streaming down her face. I know that there are many communities who face all kinds of challenges, and it was at my request that they establish this cadet corps.” “The chief and the community were very co-operative, and it was one of the best moments of my time as lieutenant-governor. That girl was 15 years old, yet she was displaying so much courage. It was a very special moment to see those young people standing there like that. I thought that if I hadn’t done anything else, at least I had done this.” His honour was sworn in as lieutenant-governor on October 1, 2007 and if his appointment came as a surprise, it was even more astonishing to Point. At the time he was asked, he was serving as the Chief Commissioner of the British Columbia Treaty Commission facilitating treaty negotiations between First Nations people and the various levels of government. “I wasn’t expecting it at all,” says Point. “I didn’t know what was involved in it and I was interested in going home and travelling less. But my wife and I went on the Internet to find out what it was all about. We thought about it, and she is the one who said it might be a good thing for aboriginal people if someone from our background took on the job. I agreed to do it, and it’s turned out to be quite a positive thing for aboriginal people, who feel very good about it. I started to feel good about it after we started going out to the communities. It’s been a great thing for them.” A life of public service is not new to Point. It seems nearly his entire adult life has been dedicated to giving back, starting at the age of 23 when he was elected as Chief of the Skowdale First Nation, a job he held for 15 years. After graduating from law school at the University of British Columbia and practising for a few years, he served as director of the Native Law program at UBC

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from 1991-94. Following a return to his legal practice, Point was appointed to the bench in Abbotsford as a provincial court judge in 1999, one of the few First Nation judges serving on the bench in Canada. Once he had a chance to start working as lieutenant-governor, it did not take his honour long to realize life would be anything but boring. In addition to his work in Victoria while the government is sitting, Point is on the road a lot. “One year, we attended over 400 events and last year it was over 300. This means I have to be out there to make a speech, to dress up, to be prepared to meet the press, if they are there, lots of shaking hands and meeting people. I get invited all over the province,” says Point. “I’ve been to places where I didn’t even know there were places. Some were small, but I’ve been able to meet some very nice people. One time, our plane was icing up and we couldn’t get off the tarmac. There were people waiting for me in Penticton, and the plane was two hours late, but they waited for me to arrive to participate in their annual ceremony. We travel a lot. I’m out of the house about two-thirds of the time.” Despite that hectic travel schedule the job of lieutenantgovernor is an important one with many significant duties, especially when the government is sitting. The head of state for Canada is the Queen and her official representatives in this country are the governor general in Ottawa and the lieutenant-governors in each province. “Before bills can be passed into law, the Queen has to grant her royal assent and I do that on her behalf for any acts to be passed by the legislature,” says Point. “I also swear in the premier when he or she is elected by popular vote. I install the cabinet into the executive council and, any time they raise an order in council, I have to sign off on those. That is the primary role and it is a constitutional one.” One of the other responsibilities of the job includes signing off on the appointment of citizens to boards like the police commission, university boards and BC Hydro, among others. There is also a ceremonial role, that of sponsor or patron to more than 100 organizations in the province. These groups all have events and the lieutenant-governor attends on behalf of the Queen. His honour is also an honorary captain in the navy and is invited to military events from all branches of the forces, including the RCMP. While getting to meet the citizens of British Columbia, Point felt he needed to do even more. “I decided I wanted to visit schools to promote literacy, so I visit as many schools as I can,” he says. “I started a literacy campaign to encourage young children to read and write and, over the Internet, we send out illustrations and students write about what they see. We have received thousands of stories from hundreds of schools in the province. It’s been quite a success, so I try to visit those schools to bring the stories back from time to time.” One final aspect of the job is the international role. For-

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eign dignitaries, government leaders, ambassadors and consulate members present themselves to the lieutenant-governor’s office when visiting the province. Point says, “I have tea and receive gifts from them and we give them gifts. It is all part of our international obligations. We even had the emperor of Japan through here.” Most people faced with such a heavy workload would probably want to do nothing more with their free time than relax. But, Steven Point is not most people. He has so many hobbies on the go it is hard to know where he finds the time to do them all. In addition to his duties, or perhaps partially because of all the dinners he attends, the lieutenantgovernor and his wife like to start each day by running six kilometres. He is also a carver and has worked on a couple of projects involving carving canoes. One project began with a log pointed on both ends, which he found on the beach. It was brought to his work shed at Government House and he realized he had a project to work on. “One of the things I wanted to do in my term was promoting reconciliation and recognizing the different cultures we have in the province,” says Point. “The only culture I know is my own, so I decided to carve a canoe. I did it on my own time, weekends, evenings, sometimes until 1:00 in the morning, all in between my scheduled events, when I had the time. I carved that canoe and presented it to the province. It has been on display at the Provincial Legislature and Cultus Lake. My hope is that it will be displayed at different places throughout the province so many more people can see it.” Point also worked on another canoe project for the navy in which he converted a canoe that had been made for his father’s memorial into an ocean canoe. It was finished, painted, gifted to the navy and placed on their base near the officer’s mess. Currently, he is working on another carving project, this one involving a legend of when the salmon did not return up the Fraser River. He says, “It’s an old legend, told by my great-grandfather. The animals all get together and plan how to get the salmon to return, which they do. I’m carving that story right now. It’s on a plaque, like a wall mounting, and tells that story.” Point’s other hobby involves another of his loves, music. He wrote a song for British Columbia and got the Naden Band to play the music. “The song is about British Columbia, and it is a gift to the province. I don’t hear songs about our province maybe because the word’s too long! I also wrote a gospel song and got a group of drummers that come from all over the place to do the drumming. It’s a mix of aboriginal and contemporary music.” B.C.’s Lieutenant-Governor Steven Point: a complex man with simple goals and dreams, dedicated to public SL service.

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You. Y Yo u. Us. Humanity. Leave a

legacy.

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GRANTING WISHES BY CATHRYN GUNN

ill Barrs would look good in a Santa Claus suit. He is the right height (5’11”), the right age (66), and has the right look: friendly, moustached, approachable and fatherly, with an easy, broad smile. He even has the right laugh, which, of course, is better to hear than to read about. What’s amazing is that Bill can laugh at all. In 1992, he lost his only son to renal disease. Bill’s first wife died four years later. He suffered a painful divorce from his second wife six years ago, and has spent the last few years “discovering who he is again” after making the move to the Island for health reasons and to be close to his older sister. As a wish grantor for the Vancouver Island branch of the Make-AWish Foundation, an organization that grants wishes to children aged 3-17 with life-threatening diseases, Bill gets to play a sort of Santa Claus several times a year.

Various people may refer the children to the organization: friends, neighbours, social workers or doctors. After the referral, Bill conducts interviews with the children and their families. When a child’s wish is identified, he co-ordinates efforts between the organization, the family, and whoever is involved at the other end. Wishes can range from trips to Disneyland to meetings with celebrities to wild shopping sprees in New York. Bill has been involved with Make-AWish on various levels over the years, but this is the job he likes best. “Wishes are as varied as a child’s imagination – you’ve just got to go with it. It’s very rewarding, but can be pretty tough sometimes,” he says of the interview process. Some families are very resistant to the idea that their child could qualify for the program. Bill’s easygoing nature and ready smile help to smooth over tense situations and make the children feel more comfortable talking to

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a stranger about their deepest desires. His administrative skills make parents feel that their child’s wish is in good hands. In fact, the people at the Make-A-Wish Foundation find his services (all volunteer) fundamental to their efforts on the Island. After his son Kent’s death, Bill, an avid golfer, organized a golf tournament in his memory, raising about $40,000 over the next few years and donating it to the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Gradually, Bill became more involved with Make-A-Wish on a volunteer basis, acting as the secretary treasurer on the provincial level and serving on the board of directors. “I was very involved with the rules and regulations and the legal end of things,” he says. Bill did public speaking engagements at golf tournaments and service clubs, spreading the word about Make-AWish as much as possible. “I know what it did for my family,” he says of the organization that sent him, his son, and his first wife to Maui, Hawaii to fulfill his child’s wish. During this time, Bill worked for many years at BCTel in commercial and residential installations, data services and customer services. He was also the representative for the telecommunication workers’ union, putting in many volunteer hours handling grievances. But all his work and volunteer activity added up and the pace of life was too fast; it took its toll on his health. Forty-two years in North Vancouver was enough. In 2005, Bill was ready to move after his official retirement from (paid) work. No more big city life for him! Four years ago, Bill was invited back to the Mainland to attend a barbecue for Make-A-Wish’s “1,000 wishes” event, in which people involved in the organization came together to celebrate the 1,000th wish granted to a child in British Columbia and the Yukon; Bill reunited with many former colleagues and board members. Not surprisingly, he decid-

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ed to re-join the effort, this time as part of the Vancouver Island volunteer team. “When I moved to the Island, there was nobody over here to do wish interviews,” says Bill. “They were done by phone from the Mainland. I used to travel all over the place to do interviews, but now I stick closer to the midIsland area.” Describing his role in Make-A-Wish, he says he does “just about anything they ask me to do.” Except, apparently, he’s decided not to run the new Island office in Victoria. Bill has learned his lesson: take life a little easier or regret it later. He loves the Comox area where he now lives. Bill (right) was awarded “superhero” status for all his great work at an annual volunteer recognition party.

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Is Her Future.

Since 1973, the Canadian Section of Amnesty International has promoted and protected human rights at home and abroad, through ongoing campaigning, outreach and education programs. By remembering Amnesty International in your will and estate planning, you will be helping to build a future where the fundamental dignity of every person is respected worldwide. For information and assistance, contact: Heather Warren, Gift Planning Associate (613) 744-7667 ext. 239 hwarren@amnesty.ca www.amnesty.ca/plannedgiving 1-800-AMNESTY Charitable Reg. No. 11878 5914 RR 0001

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Photo: Brooke McAllister

Your Legacy

Today, he does around eight interviews a year; travelling and co-ordinating wishes can take a lot of time. However, he also volunteers as a driver for the Masonic Order’s Cancer Cars program, works with the Shriners raising money for kids who need orthopedic surgery, takes part in Comox Valley Classic Cruisers activities with his yellow 1973 mustang convertible, and plays golf as well. Kim Heron of Make-A-Wish B.C. & Yukon says, “Bill is the human face of Make-A-Wish on Vancouver Island. He builds direct relationships with our families. A former Wish dad now helps make wishes come true for others. Bill truly has walked in their shoes and is invaluable to our organization, not only for his dedication and hard work, but also for his insight and perspective.” Bill recounts both fascinating and heart-wrenching stories of children whose wishes came true, from a boy who watched a remote control airplane fly in the parking lot

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Photo: Cathryn Gunn

We can give, because YOU give.

Create your legacy Bill takes part in Comox Valley Classic Cruisers activities with his yellow 1973 Mustang convertible.

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of the hospital, to a girl who went to New York to see real Broadway theatre productions and got a surprise visit backstage. Clearly, every child’s wish is important to Bill. “I get the opportunity to give families a special time together. I can create memories for that family. I love it! I get so much SL fulfillment out of this.”

To learn more about how you can invest in the future of Victoria Hospice, call the Foundation Oﬃce – Planned Giving at 250-952-5720 or e-mail vic.hospice@viha.ca

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Planning Your Charitable Legacy

You can create a lasting legacy of love for all of BC’s children. It is a magical thing to know that a decision you make today could save the life of a child 20 years or more from now. But that’s what happens when you include BC Children’s Hospital Foundation in your estate plans.

BY SARA NEELY, LL.B., CFRE

Small Patients,

Great Needs. When you leave a gift in your will to BC Children’s Hospital you can help build a brighter, healthier tomorrow for all children – shaping the future of pediatric health care for generations to come. For more information or to let us know you have made a gift through your estate, please contact the Gift & Estate Planning team at 1-888-663-3033 or plannedgivinginfo@bcchf.ca.

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hilanthropy is the “love of humankind.” It allows donors to align the value of their assets with the values that are important to them. People give because charities have affected their lives – those charities may have helped along the way, educated, or inspired. Many give for personal reasons – what matters to them, and what impact they want to have today – and in the future. After considering what one has and needs during his or her lifetime, and what to leave behind in an estate, there are many ways to support causes and concerns in the community. This type of giving is often called planned giving.

What is a planned gift? A planned gift is usually a charitable gift from assets, rather than income, and it is part of a long-term financial and estate plan. It is easy to do: simply call a legal, accounting or financial advisor and/or a favourite charity and talk about the possibilities.

Getting started

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People often say “I don’t want to think about doing a will” or “I don’t have an estate” or “I’m not wealthy – this doesn’t apply to me.” If a person has a bank account, a house, or any other financial assets, he or she has an estate. It is important to make plans, so the people and the causes the benefactor cares about are looked after. A philanthropist doesn’t need to be wealthy. Everyone can make a meaningful contribution. Advisors will know about giving options and can help integrate charitable giving into financial and estate plans. They can work with the selected charity or charities to make sure wishes are met and the gift is made in the most effective way. Charities have information about their programs and services, how to make a gift and how that gift will impact them.

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Ways of giving Anyone who can make a will can make a gift to charity. Start fresh or add a provision to an existing will by signing a codicil. A certain dollar amount can be set aside, a percentage of the estate or any assets left over after the family is provided for. A gift is revocable – terms can be altered as circumstances change during the donor’s lifetime. This gives some flexibility in planning financial matters because the gift is not received until the estate is settled. Make sure the name of the charity is correct in a will – ask the charity for the legal name and have a lawyer or notary public prepare a will. The Canada Revenue Agency website (www. cra-arc.gc.ca) has a list of all registered charities in Canada and helpful information about donating to charities. There are other ways to give through estate planning using assets such as an existing or new life insurance pol-

icy, or proceeds from a registered retirement savings plan, registered retirement income plan or a tax-free savings account. These gifts involve designating the charity as a beneficiary of the policy or plan, and can result in significant personal tax benefits. Anyone with an investment portfolio can benefit from making a gift of publicly traded securities. Where the securities are transferred directly to public charities and foundations, there is no tax payable on the capital gain. The tax receipt equals the fairmarket value of the securities on the date of the gift, and the resulting tax credit offsets other taxes that may be payable. For those interested in ensuring long-term funding for a charity, think about creating or contributing to an endowment fund. An endowment fund is one where the capital is held by the charity in permanence, and invested to provide a steady return. A portion of the return is distributed on a regular basis and used by the charity to carry out its work. The balance of the

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NOVEMBER 2011

return is kept in the fund to hedge against inflation. A donor advised fund is a type of endowment fund. The donor receives an income tax receipt for any gifts of capital and continues to be involved as an advisor in determining where the annual returns will be granted each year. These annual grants are paid out to federally-registered Canadian charities. A donor advised fund provides the donor with flexible, personal involvement in his or her philanthropy. Donor advised funds started with community foundations. In recent years, financial institutions have also offered this opportunity to their clients.

After considering what one has and needs during his or her lifetime, and what to leave behind in an estate, there are many ways to support causes and concerns in the community. Talking to the charity

One in three Canadian deaths is caused by Heart Disease and Stroke Your Gift Will Save Lives Call or email for a free Legacy Planning Kit: Melanie Brooks

Coordinator, Planned Giving plannedgiving@hsf.bc.ca 1.888.473.4636

www.heartandstroke.bc.ca/givingbywill

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When planning a gift, talk to the charity. Let them know how their good work will be supported in the will or estate plan – the size of the gift doesn’t need to be disclosed. More donors are choosing to designate their gifts to specific programs, equipment or other capital projects. The charity can check the specific wording in a will and make sure they can carry out the donor’s intentions. Charities would like to thank supporters now and let them know about the impact of their gift on future generations. Many charities have created recognition societies to honour planned giving donors during their lifetimes. Donors are invited to events, receive publications and learn more about the organizations they support. There is always the option to remain anonymous, knowing the charity is grateful for the support. Most often, philanthropic decisions are made with making an impact in mind; a charitable contribution should maximize social good while reflecting a person’s values in creating a legacy for future generations. SL For more information about planned giving, contact Sara Neely, Director of Philanthropic Services at the Victoria Foundation, telephone 250-381-5532 or email her at sneely@victoriafoundation.bc.ca

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NOVEMBER 2011

Livelong Givers

BY VERNICE SHOSTAL

nitarians and former educators, Ruth and Ted Humphreys are conscientious planned givers. In addition to the charities they support locally, nationally and internationally on an annual basis, they have provided for specific charities in their wills. Under the umbrella of the Unitarian Church, the Humphreys donate to Child Haven, the Ethel May Fund and the Social Responsibility Committee (SRC), where Ted plays an active role.

Photo: Vernice Shostal

Ted Humphreys enjoys the mountain view at the couple’s Island home.

With several subcommittees, the SRC addresses issues such as poverty, democracy, environment, homelessness and social justice. This year, in recognition of the 100th anniversary of “International Women’s Day,” initiated by Clara Zelkin in Europe, the SRC provided a $10,000 donation to Sandi Merriman House. 18

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Child Haven, an international fund, was initiated by Bonnie and Fred Cappuccino; a couple the Humphreys knew in Montreal and who, like the Humphreys, adopted children of mixed race. Child Haven, started by the Cappuccinos after they had raised 21 children, 19 of whom were adopted, helps children in “deep need.” Currently, the charity operates in nine homes in India, Nepal, Bangladesh and Tibet, providing necessities and vocational training or college after high school to approximately 1,000 children and helping 150 desperately poor women. The charity relies primarily on the generosity of families across Canada. The third fund, The Ethel May Fund, initiated by an anonymous donor to help single mothers in need, has a four-person committee that governs the fund while five trained social workers are available to assess the situation and evaluate the need. Requests come from the community and men are now included in the charity. In conjunction with the Ethel May Fund, a smaller emergency fund provides food stamps for those requiring urgent help. Another fund in this category is the food bank, where members of the church make donations over the year. When the fund reaches $500, the church sends the money to one of the six or seven food banks in the Greater Victoria area on a rotating basis. Outside the Unitarian Church, the Humphreys’ charities include: the David Suzuki Foundation, UNICEF, the Cana-

dian Council for policy Alternative (CCPA), Cool Aid and the Stephen Lewis Foundation. The David Suzuki Foundation, an international organization that deals with environmental protection and balancing human needs with the ability to communicate practical ways to achieve that balance is “one of the things I’m quite concerned about,” Ted says. Ruth and Ted support UNICEF because it deals with education. According to Ted, “Education has always been my interest and UNICEF, I felt, was one of the international funds that do excellent work across the world.” A national program, the Canadian Council for Policy Alternative (CCPA) is an independent, non-partisan research institute concerned with issues of social and economic justice. “We believe that the way you influence government is to inform the public,” says Ted. “I believe that the CCPA does an excellent job of providing a sound research approach to the many problems that plague our society today.” The Humphreys also support the Cool Aid Society, a local organization that provides shelter, housing and community health services to adults experiencing marginalization in the Victoria area. When Ruth and Ted initially selected the groups they would support each year, Ruth insisted they add the Stephen Lewis Foundation to their list. The couple has known Lewis since the ’70s. “We knew it [the foundation] would be successful in

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NOVEMBER 2011

Charity Feature

How Can I Leave A Legacy? I’m not a Millionaire!

Your lawyer or ﬁnancial advisor can help you work out the details and your favourite charity can give you some ideas as well. BY ALAN RYCROFT

When we hear words and phrases like “legacy”, “bequest” or leaving a gift for charity in one’s will, a common reaction is: “I can’t do that because I’m not rich.” We also want to look after our children, perhaps not realizing we can leave a small legacy gift behind for the whole community while also remembering our family. Most of us, whether we know it or not, are worth much more than we think (consider the value of Victoria real estate alone). You will likely be able to leave even more than you thought for your children and for the causes for which you care the most, particularly with a tax-wise gift like appreciated stocks. What organizations do you believe are making a difference in your neighbourhood, in your city, on the planet? It might be an environmental organization or a society improving animal welfare. You may care passionately about your church, sports, club, education, seniors, the arts, or for the needs of people who are homeless and needing a helping hand up. Your lawyer or financial advisor can help you work out the details and your favourite charity can give you some ideas as well. If you are considering leaving a gift in your will for your favourite charities give them a call — it helps them plan better. They will also better understand how you would like your legacy to be used in the community and how your gift can best be honoured and celebrated — or know if you wish to remain anonymous. ADVERTISEMENT

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dealing with the AIDS problem if Stephen was involved. It is now part of our selection in our wills.” Raised in Ontario during the Great Depression, Ted’s father died when Ted was nine. At age 31, his mother was left to bring up three children. “We all graduated from high school, although we were basically a Depression family and lived on relief during much of the Depression,” he says. “My one sister is a graduate nurse in psychiatry. My other sister graduated as a secretary, and I went on and got a university degree and, finally, I got a doctoral degree in education.” Ted says his mother’s contribution was a “huge” influence on his life. “The fact that we were poor also had an impact on me,” he adds. Ted met Ruth, who came from a farming family in Brampton, at the Canadian National Exhibition when Ted was going to university and Ruth was still in high school. A year later, Ruth also entered university. The couple married in 1955, and Ruth worked as an elementary teacher until they had children. After completing a degree at the Ontario College of Agriculture, Ted taught science in Peel County before the couple and their two-and-a-half year old daughter moved to Nigeria for a year, where Ted continued to teach science. Back in Canada, the family settled in Montreal, and Ted taught teachers at McGill for two more years. Having decided that he should have a doctoral degree if he intended to continue working at the university level, the Humphreys returned to Ontario and Ted attended the Institute for Studies in Education (OISE). With his new degree, Ted got a job with the Teachers’ Federation, but soon returned to OISE as a faculty member, where he stayed for the next 25 years. Politically active during his educational career, Ted ran in two provincial and one federal election, was a member of the Peel County Board of Education and finally became chair of the board. While their children, two biological daughters and two adopted sons, were growing up, the Humphreys purchased an old school bus, refurbished it and travelled back and forth across Canada, up to the Artic and down to the Gulf of Mexico “always camping,” says Ted. “We travelled up and down the coast in the mountains and we just loved the mountains.” Ten years ago, the couple retired to the mountains in Victoria. Before Ruth suffered a stroke that left her handicapped, she owned her own business, designing and creating knitting. “This is one of her pieces,” Ted says as he shows off the sweater he is wearing. With the help of a live-in caregiver, Ted endeavours to make life as comfortable as possible for Ruth. Every Sunday, he takes her to church, where she can visit the people she knows. A generous and caring couple throughout their lives, Ted and Ruth Humphreys continue to support their chosen charities annually as well as provide for select chariSL ties in their wills.

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One gift. Unlimited possibilities. Imagine the seed a conversation can plant. New ways of fighting disease. A work of art that moves generations. A business that creates thousands of jobs. And the University of Victoria students behind these achievements will have you to thank for making it possible. Your gift. Your legacy. A planned gift to UVic can blossom into anything. Contact Natasha to start the conversation about creating a lasting legacy in your will or estate plan.

Natasha Benn | 250-721-6001 | nbenn@uvic.ca

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NOVEMBER 2011

Legal Viewpoint Planned Giving

BY DUSTIN MARNELL

anadians interest in planned giving has grown steadily. This interest can be attributed to the growing wealth of Canadians, a decrease in public funding to charitable organizations, and a wish to support the services that such organizations provide. A corollary of this increased interest is the need for more information regarding planned giving. The following illustrates the benefits, practicalities, and issues surrounding planned charitable giving from a legal viewpoint. What is Planned Charitable Giving? Planned or charitable giving is the deliberate arranging of gifts to charitable organizations, maximizing a donor’s personal, financial and tax situation. Planned gifts may be made during the donor’s lifetime (an inter vivos gift) or by the donor’s will (a testamentary gift).

A charitable gift can be used to offset any income tax that would have been payable in the donor’s terminal year, and any amount not used may be carried back to the preceding year. of the donor’s year of death net income. As such, a charitable gift can be used to offset any income tax that would have been payable in the donor’s terminal year, and any amount not used may be carried back to the preceding year. Types of Gifts A number of different types of gifts may be gifted to charity. While the majority of gifts to charities are cash, non-cash gifts may also be donated. Non-cash gifts may include securities, real estate and art. Each type of gift has a unique legal, tax and practical consequences and, therefore, has its own advantages and disadvantages for the donor and charity. Given these differences, it is wise to seek the expertise of a professional advisor when determining the best way to make a gift.

W W W. N I C . B C . C A / F O U N D AT I O N

Benefits of Planned Giving Will Two primary benefits are associated with planned giving. The first is that the donor contributes to a charity he or she believes will help give back to society. The second is the possibility of significant tax savings. In addition to the benefits of charitable gifting, generally, there are additional advantages in making those gifts through one’s will. As the gifting does not occur until one’s death, it will not affect that individual’s present worth and current lifestyle. The gift will remain revocable, allowing one to change the terms of a gift should circumstances change. Unlike an inter vivos gift, there is no donation limit (the maximum percentage of taxable income for a year against which a donation credit can be applied) for a gift made though one’s will.

Significant potential tax saving benefits can be reaped through planned giving. A charitable gift payable on the death of the donor is deemed made in the donor’s year of death. The contribution limit in the year of death is set at 100 per cent

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Issues When donating a charitable gift, there are a number of considerations to discuss with a professional advisor. A good starting point is to confirm the name of the charity one hopes to benefit is the correct legal name. Should the charity be named incorrectly in the will, it may be necessary for a court application to make sure that the correct charity receives the gift. As charitable organizations can and do change names, from time to time, a legal advisor should include a clause in the will that recognizes such a possibility. Another consideration is the Wills Variation Act. A spouse or child of a deceased can challenge a will, if a testator dies without making adequate provision for them. A charitable gift is not immune to a Wills Variation Act claim. It is therefore prudent, particularly when one wishes to make a substantial gift to a charity that the effect of the Wills Variation Act is discussed with one’s professional advisors to ensure for the greatest likelihood that wishes are carried out. Conclusion Individuals making or amending their wills should consider whether planned giving makes sense as part of their estate plan. Consult with legal and accounting professionals to best ensure that terms of any gift are optimized for both the donor SL and the charity. Dustin Marnell is a lawyer practising in Victoria.

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Give the gift of care, comfort, dignity, independence and respect. Your donations enable us to fund community programs and education for seniors and their caregivers; purchase specialized equipment; upgrade care facilities with home-like enhancements; fund valuable research to improve the way the elderly are cared for; and protect the respect our elders deserve. Your legacy will help us enhance quality of life for the elderly for generations to come.

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GVEF - Planned Giving Senior Living Magazine

Est. 1944

NOVEMBER 2011

Planned Giving

CELEBRATING DONORS P

acific Opera Victoria established the Bravo Society to recognize individuals who have let them know they’ve left a bequest, and to celebrate long-standing friendships. This program allows POV to honour these generous supporters during their lifetime, and offer unique events that enhance their experience of Pacific Opera Victoria. These are a few of their stories.

Donor Proﬁle: Barbara Housser Music has always been a big part of Barbara Housser’s life. She began playing violin at the age of three and eventually became an elementary school music teacher. In her 20s, Barbara studied in Europe and visited every great opera house on the continent to listen to performances. “My love of opera has been there for a long time and has grown as a result of being involved with POV [Pacific Opera Victoria],” says Barbara.

“That is what motivated me to give something to POV in my will,” she says. “I want to make sure that what we as a community worked so hard to create will live on for future generations.” As chair of POV’s Special Events Committee, Barbara was part of a team that initiated effective programs such as the popular Sense of Occasion Opening Night Gala and the Student Dress Rehearsals. Barbara is well-known in Victoria as a highly successful entrepreneur who ran her family business, Sam’s Deli, for 28 years. Her professional and volunteer achievements are considerable. Even more remarkable is that she accomplished so much while raising three children and caring for her family. Part of her extensive legacy will live on in a thriving POV.

Donor Proﬁle: Pendril Brown Pendril Brown has always been interested in opera. He had been listening to the Met broadcasts for years, and when POV started an opera guild, it was inevitable that he would join. His wife, Betty, didn’t share his interest, at first, but he persuaded her to

Barbara Housser

In the early 1980s, Barbara was invited to join the POV board. “We struggled so much in the early days.” But the challenge led to a sense of ownership as she and other volunteers worked hard to keep POV alive. And that sense of commitment is still with her today. 24

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Donor Proﬁle: Joe and Linda Harvey Linda and Joe Harvey wear their Bravo Society pins to every POV event they attend. “It’s a wonderful idea to have a society to recognize people who have left a gift in their wills,” they say. “We love the feeling of belonging to the POV donor family. People often ask about our Bravo Society pins, and we are always delighted to share the meaning that they have for us.” Linda’s love of opera began in the ’40s when she and her Dad used to sit in the kitchen on Saturday afternoons listening to the Texaco Metropolitan Opera broadcasts. “It was such valuable time with my Dad,” she says. “He loved opera and I began to lis-

Photo: Jackie Adamthwaite

Photo: Barbara Pedrick

Pendril Brown

attend a performance. To his delight, she loved it! That was when the couple started to volunteer on opera nights at the McPherson Theatre. And when POV moved to the Royal Theatre, they were there too, handing out programs. Pendril and Betty enjoyed a full and active life, riding their bicycles to work for 25 years, volunteering extensively in the community, and attending operas and concerts at the Conservatory. After Betty died in 2009, Pendril changed his will to include a bequest to several of his favourite charities. “When I make contributions now, I always send them in memory of Betty.” “I knew exactly what I wanted to do,” says Pendril. “I talked to my lawyer about the technical details. We always had things planned so that our son and daughter would be significant beneficiaries. I also thought about the capital gains tax that would be payable on my estate. A large portion of it will be offset by the bequest to POV.” Understanding the tax advantages of a bequest, Pendril was even more inclined to name POV in his will. “If you are fond of POV and you want to see it continue into the future, then a bequest is a simple way to make a difference.”

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ten as he listened, though it was years before I actually went to a live opera.” Joe’s interest in opera blossomed because of Linda, and they started to listen to the Metropolitan Opera broadcasts together. Now, they both look forward to their nights out at the opera. Joe and Linda met at Dalhousie University in Halifax, where he was a biology professor and plant geneticist, and she was a librarian in the science libraries. They both worked full time all their lives. Now retired, they have achieved a modest but

Photo: Jackie Adamthwaite

Linda and Joe Harvey

comfortable lifestyle. “We have no family to worry about and have never been big spenders, so it made sense to include a bequest to POV in our wills.” Joe stresses the importance of their bequest being undesignated because they believe that the funds should go to whatever the organization needs at the time. “We want this wonderful opera company to keep going, so others can enjoy opera as much as we have.” SL

Simple Steps to Making or Updating a Will 1. Consult a lawyer who specializes in wills and estate planning. 2. Decide who should benefit – family, friends, charitable organizations. 3. Decide whether the amount will be specific or a percentage of the residue of the estate to each beneficiary. 4. In consultation with a lawyer and financial advisor, decide whether to give cash or other assets, such as property, proceeds of a RRSP, RRIF, or life insurance policy, or publicly traded securities. These decisions can reduce the tax the estate has to pay. 5. Choose an executor with sound judgment to ensure the estate is settled according to plan. An executor can be a trusted family member, friend or professional advisor. 6. Talk to family members about philanthropic intentions so they understand and can help achieve charitable goals. 7. For a bequest to charities, let them know so they can ensure wishes will be fulfilled – and so they can honour and recognize generosity now. 8. Keep a will in a safe place: in a vault at the estate lawyer’s office, or in a safety deposit box or safe – and tell executors where it can be found. Make at least one copy. 9. Review and update a will periodically to ensure it reflects current wishes and any life changes, such as a marriage, divorce, death of a beneficiary, or birth of a child or grandchild, or a material change in finances. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

NOVEMBER 2011

Travel & Adventure

ADVENTURES IN NURSING BY MARGARET GROWCOTT

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Leslie assessing an infant who was delivered by caesarean birth in Guatemala.

Photos: Leslie Sundby Collection

eslie Sundby, a teacher and nursing professor at Vancouver Island University in Nanaimo, always wanted to be a nurse and always wanted to travel. Little did she think when she did her nurses’ training in Victoria 35 years ago that it would eventually lead her to such a far-flung and exotic destination as Nepal. A mountainous country north of India, tucked in amongst the Himalayas, Nepal conjures up mysticism – a country steeped in traditional Hindu and Buddhist culture. Born in Windsor, Ontario, Leslie grew up in Oakville where her father worked for the Ford Motor Company. The travel bug bit her when she went to France on a skiing holiday at age 17, graduating shortly after and moving to B.C. A specialist in Pediatrics and Obstetrics, Leslie received her nurses’ training at Victoria Jubilee Hospital. She later did a post-graduate BSN (Bachelor Science of Nursing) at Victoria University, followed by a master’s degree in nursing at the University of Alberta. A marriage and two children later, Leslie taught nursing at the Royal Alexandra Hospital in Edmonton. She later moved back to B.C. when her children were growing up and her parents had retired to the Victoria area. In 2007, while on staff at the Nanaimo Regional General Hospital, Leslie was asked by Dr. Robin Love, Head of Palliative Care, if she would accompany him to Nepal as part of a twinning project between the cities of Nanaimo and Bhaktapur. Dr. Love had been on a trekking holiday in Nepal with his son; when in Bhaktapur, a 15-km bus ride from the capital, Kathmandu, he paid a visit to

the hospital and recognized a need for a palliative care program. The cancer hospital in Bhaktapur provides cancer treatment, surgery and chemotherapy, but there is limited pain management and end-of-life assistance. Bhaktapur, with a population of 70,000, is a tourist destination because of the many picturesque temples and fascinating market squares, and because it is easily accessible from Kathmandu. It’s a UNESCO Heritage Site owing to its ancient culture, rich local customs and religious festivals and its unique architecture peppered with pagodas and shrines. When Dr. Love approached Leslie, she jumped at the chance to go to Nepal. “It felt absolutely the right thing for me to do,” she says. “The timing and planning all came together so well, WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

I was convinced I should do it.” Leslie’s role was to provide program planning, evaluation and overall administrative expertise. She left in the fall of 2007 with two experienced palliative care nurses and stayed two weeks. Leslie and her two colleagues lead workshops and worked with administrators to help set up a palliative care program. “It was very important to be aware of and sensitive to cultural differences and the importance of building trust in relationships,” says Leslie. “During our first visit to Bhaktapur, I found there was a protocol of behaviour with a definite line of communication, and I was only allowed to speak to the nurses when Matron [head of the hospital] was present.”

Featured Business Leslie finds that the nurses in Bhaktapur, many of whom trained in India, speak English well. The larger cities in Nepal provide formal education, which includes English as a second language. However, many patients are from remote areas of Nepal and an interpreter is necessary. When she returned to Canada from Bhaktapur in 2007, Leslie took the Palliative Care course in Victoria to give her a better understanding of some of the complexities and approaches related to the subject. She had not thought of doing this before going to Nepal but it interested her, especially since her father had been a patient and had died in palliative care two years earlier. “It is amazing the similarities between palliative care and perinatal (obstetrical) care,” says Leslie. “Both are family centred – helping patients and families through major transitions, symptom management and coping strategies. Both also encompass the beginning of life to the end of life. Palliative care must be extended to the whole family – not just the patient. In Nepal, it is expected a family member will help with the care of the patient, cooking meals, etc.” Leslie returned to Nepal a second time in 2008 for eight weeks. This time, she took nursing students from Nanaimo, overseeing their field school, which is part of third year nurses’ training. This involved trekking, sometimes six to eight hours a day, to the more remote areas of Nepal, working alongside the local health providers to care for local residents. Porters carried supplies. When they reached these outposts, they found many of their patients and families had also travelled for miles on foot to attend the clinics. The terrain is mountainous and sometimes there are only simple tracks beyond the towns. Leslie and her team were working with challenges most of the time with sporadic access to clean drinking water, electricity and palatable food. Even in

KEEPING IT SIMPLE A Genuine Low-Cost, No-Hassle Approach to Funeral Planning By Starr Munro

Planning a cremation or funeral service for yourself or a loved may seem like a complex undertaking. Simply Cremations helps ease the process by ensuring your needs and wishes are fulfilled without guilt, pressure or the burden of high costs. “At Simply Cremations we strive to keep cremation and funeral arrangements as simple as possible,” says Susan Veale, local funeral director and co-owner. “All funeral homes fundamentally offer the same services. We are different because we keep our costs low, and are upfront with our prices. We are caring and compassionate in all that we do.” Located in a no-frills industrial park in Sidney B.C., Simply Cremations is celebrating its first anniversary this November. They have already served over 120 families from Vancouver Island and the Gulf Islands. Originally established 10 years ago in

I had used Simply Cremations twice in Edmonton so was particularly happy to see that they had opened in the Victoria area where my aging mother was living in a care facility. On my next visit, I visited Susan at her new location in Sidney and made arrangements for my mother. When she did pass away in June, I was again pleased with how smoothly and easily everything went. It felt so good to have things looked after efficiently, economically and with the respect and dignity that I had come to expect from Simply Cremations. Pat Dixon Edmonton, Alberta, the company was founded on the notion that, by changing the stereotypical model commonly used by larger funeral service providers, funeral planning and arrangements could be both professional and economical. “Our business is based on the premise of getting back to a place where a funeral company services the community, rather than just being a corporation with commissioned sales people that are encouraged to up-sell you on products and services,” says Susan. “At all three of our locations in western Canada the funeral director is also the owner. This means the person you make your arrangements with has a vested interested in ensuring that you are completely satisfied. It also allows us to offer the same products and services at about half the cost.” While the company’s name might imply they only provide cremation services, the reality is that they facilitate a full spectrum of

cremation and funeral services. “We can assist in arranging a cremation or traditional burial, a formal funeral service or a more casual memorial service,” says Susan. “We’ll handle everything for you including transfer and sheltering, organizing the service and filing the necessary registration and documentation.” Simply Cremations boasts a huge selection of products including keepsake urns, specialty urns, biodegradable urns (made from cornstarch, salt or mulberry bark), memorial books and cremation jewelry. The price of every item is prominently displayed on-site, in their brochure, and on their website. “Our motto is simple — ‘Treat people the way we would like to be treated,’” says Susan. “You won’t find crystal chandeliers, a big fleet of vehicles or giant pillars outside our office. But you will find that we provide professional services with a caring and understanding approach, without high costs.”

SIMPLY CREMATIONS

250. 656.5555 • www.simplycremations.com NOVEMBER 2011 Unit 2 – 2075 Henry Avenue West, Sidney B.C.

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towns, Nepal is a chaotic country for travelling, often with cows, cars and bicycles all sharing the road. Making her third trip to Nepal in 2009 for five weeks, Leslie took 12 student nurses from Nanaimo. This was to be part of their practicum. “Immersing

home seem negligible.” In addition to her several trips to Nepal, Leslie has also been to Guatemala twice with ALIANZA, a nonprofit health education organization. Teaching and working alongside local health providers, she worked in the reLeslie visiting a Mayan family in their home in Comitancillo, Guatemala.

in another culture gives you more respect for your own country,” she says. “You take things less for granted and appreciate life more. You learn not to sweat the small stuff. When I see poverty; when getting clean drinking water and finding food that does not make you sick is a challenge, problems at

mote Mayan village of Comitancillo, which is an eight-hour bus ride into the mountains from Guatemala City. Unlike Bhaktapur, it is not a tourist destination. However, there are similarities to the Nepalese rural areas with limited access to water and electricity. In this traditional Mayan culture, it is

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Port Coquitlam Amica at Mayfair 604.552.5552 Kerrisdale Amica at Arbutus Manor 604.736.8936 West Vancouver Amica at West Vancouver 604.921.9181

It is not without a price, that we live in a land that is free. In honour of our brave veterans – for your service, endurance, sacrifice and wisdom that we all too often take for granted. We are humbled by your bravery and inspired by your love of country. With deep appreciation and respect, we thank you.

Remembering Our Veterans

Burnaby Amica at Rideau Manor 604.291.1792 Victoria Amica at Douglas House 250.383.6258 Victoria Amica at Somerset House 250.380.9121 Sidney Amica at Beechwood Village 250.655.0849

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necessary to break the cycle of poverty; the aim is to create a sustainable community, building local capacity and the ability to avoid relying on outside help. Leslie, chair of Curriculum Committee at VIU for Nursing Program, has also been to South Korea as part of a four-week cultural immersion program at the Seoul Women’s University. “This was entirely different from my work in Nepal and Guatemala, which are both developing countries,” says Leslie. “South Korea is now considered a ‘well developed’ or even ‘advanced’ country. As faculty, we were invited to attend school with students from South Korea and various international universities.” As if Leslie was not already busy enough, she is also chair of the Nanaimo Hospital and District Foundation. Luckily, between her work at home and abroad, she still manages to find time to be an avid sportswoman; she loves kayaking, hiking, skiing, running and has just taken up golf. The ability to give back – to share her skills and knowledge with others is what fulfills Leslie most in her work. “And yet I gain so much from those I’ve worked with; I get thanks for the work I do and yet I feel a profound honour to be in a position to participate in these experiences and learn from other health-care professionals abroad,” she says. “I have developed amazing friendships and professional relationships working with people in other countries. It is amazing to see the resilience in others and how much they accomplish when they often have such limited resources. These experiences expand my work view and enable me to share some insights with my children, friends and students. The ‘ripple of influence’ is profound.” And finally, Leslie says, “It takes patience, cultural sensitivity, realistic expectations and humility. And then, it’s so good to come home to family, Western food, hot showers and a warm SL soft bed.”

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NOVEMBER 2011

Lest We Forget

A Family Hero

BY VALERIE GREEN

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We were unprepared for the awesome, tranquil beauty of Awoingt and the sight of numerous white headstones belonging to young men whose average age was only 20. It did not seem feasible that so many lives had been sacrificed in that so-called Great War – the war to end all wars. And Awoingt, surrounded today by picturesque cornfields, was just one of many cemeteries in Flanders Fields. Eric was a private in the 11th Battalion Suffolk Regiment. We easily found his clearly marked grave. He was reported missing in action in late October 1918, and probably died in one of the nearby casualty clearing stations before his remains were buried at Awoingt. Sadly, today there are no family members left to answer questions about this young man. According to some reAwoingt British Cemetery search we did, however, we knew Eric enlisted and served first with the Essex Yeomanry. He and all the other new recruits would have gone through a 14-week basic training course, while being held in England until eligible to be sent overseas. These recruits were known as “A4 men” who were defined as fit in all respects, except age. They had to be 19 to be sent overseas. It was later reported that, in fact, these young boys received more training than the older men and, therefore, inevitably provided the backbone of the winning army. My father had always kept a photograph of his “hero big

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Photo: Valerie Green

he Awoingt British Cemetery in Northern France is relatively easy to find. Well, actually, we did get lost once on that hot July afternoon but we blamed that on the GPS system, which sent us down a dead-end road and almost into a field. Then, suddenly, there was the sign we had been looking for directing us to the Awoingt British Cemetery. Awoingt is a small village, three kilometres east-southeast of Cambrai in Picardy in Northern France. It is situated just a little south of the main road (the N43) between Cambrai and Le Cateau. The four of us – my husband and I, and my cousin and her husband – had earlier left St. Quentin after a pleasant lunch. Our mission was to find the First World War cemetery in Awoingt, where my father’s older brother is buried. The cemetery contains 653 Commonwealth war graves plus 63 graves of other nationalities, mostly German, and one special memorial to a casualty whose grave can no longer be located in the cemetery. Eric Francis Stofer was killed in action in 1918 when he was only 19. Dad hardly remembered him; he was barely seven years old when his brother Eric left home to fight for King and country in 1916. The story goes that Eric was so patriotic that he had lied about his age so he could join up and, eventually, be sent abroad to where all the action was happening.

brother” astride a horse. He passed the photograph on to me. This picture suggested to us that when Eric was finally mobilized abroad, he might have been part of the artillery that pulled the big guns behind their horses. Eric loved horses but was probably unprepared for the horrors of war. He hated guns. On that hot July afternoon, it was hard for us to associate all the beauty there with how it must have been nearly 100 years ago when the reverberation of guns, the misery of death and the hopelessness of seeing comrades fall in battle, were all that surrounded those men. We remained silent as we wandered between rows upon rows of headstones, gazed at names and imagined each of those young men who had experienced the horror of war so long ago. I thought about the lines of the famous poem “In Flanders Fields.” I also remembered an old family story: my grandmother could never bear to listen to the old First World War song “Roses Are Blooming in Picardy” after she lost her beloved son just two weeks before Armistice Day. She would be happy to know that today a single rose bush blooms alongside his grave. My father always regretted that he never visited his brother’s grave. I was glad we had made this pilgrimage and found our family hero but, still, I needed more. I wanted to feel that Eric’s death and the deaths of all those other young men held meaning. I needed to know that they had not died in vain. We signed the visitors’ register and then read the memorial about how the land was donated by the French people. It stated:

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The land on which this cemetery stands is the free gift of the French people for the perpetual resting place of those of the Allied Armies who fell in the War of 1914-1918 And are honoured here. My last look back was at the other large granite stone at the rear of the cemetery, which stated simply: “Their Name Liveth For Evermore.” Not until we were on the road again heading south towards Normandy, did it finally dawn on me. Without realizing it, I had found what I had been looking for. There had been a purpose to the loss of so many lives. For surely, had it not been for their brave sacrifices in both the First World War and again in the Second World War, we would not have been able to enjoy the freedom to travel through Europe today. I will never forget our family hero or his last resting place, and will always remember him with honour and gratitude. They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn. At the going down of the sun and in the morning, We will remember them.

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NOVEMBER 2011

A “Heritage” Gem Author Proﬁle

BY VERNICE SHOSTAL

“T

o have a B&B, you have to genuinely love people,” says Larry Gray, who, with his wife, Sandra, transformed a heritage house in Victoria into a B&B and then wrote about it. Anecdotes of restoring a heritage property with stories of ghosts and guests are captured in the pages of Larry’s book, A “Heritage” Gem. Originally from Portage La Prairie, Manitoba, Larry was introduced to the insurance claims business in his late teens, took a brief training session and finally, with his then family, moved to California, a warmer climate, where he set up his own business. Holidaying back in Canada, after his marriage breakup, Larry reconnected with an old friend, Sandra Davis, whose marriage had also ended. Like Larry, Sandra has an insurance background from her work with Insurance Corporation of British Columbia (ICBC). Reunited, Larry and Sandra were married in 1977, and their combined family made their home in California, where Larry, as a claims investigator, and Sandra taking care of insurance affairs and licences, operated their insurance business, Valley Claim Service. Looking for a change after nearly three decades in the business, the couple decided that running a B&B would be a new and exciting experience. Exploring places to start a B&B, the Grays began investigating suitable homes in the New England states until they realized the weather in that region of the country was as cold as the weather in Portage La Prairie, which they originally escaped because of the frigid winter weather. Having represented ICBC in Los Angeles, the Grays decided

Author Larry Gray pours coffee for his wife Sandra in their heritage home.

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Victoria would have a more inviting climate and would be a better location for a B&B, but the right property was hard to find. They were about to return to L.A. when the perfect house came on the market. It felt like the ideal place for a B&B, says Larry, and it soon captured the would-be innkeepers. Transforming an old heritage house into a B&B turned out to be more interesting than Larry and Sandra expected. While Larry continued to spend time in L.A., wrapping up their American business, Sandra stayed in the Heritage House to engineer the necessary renovations where she was surprised to find she was not alone. The original owner, the late, pipe-smoking Captain Robert N. Walker, apparently continued to hang out at the old house. Sandra recognized his presence by the telltale pipe smoke, which she didn’t appreciate. One day, offended by the smell, she admonished him for this bad habit. “Captain Walker,” she said, “there is no smoking allowed here anymore. Thank you.” He continued to make his presence felt with footsteps and doors opening and closing, but the smoking stopped. Captain Walker is not the only ghost in the house. According to sightings by guests at the B&B, the captain’s Japanese wife, Sato, also likes to make herself at home. After finishing the renovations in Victoria and tying up their business in California, the Grays opened their heritage house for business. A unique property with a unique “old-world” décor to make guests feel they stepped into the friendly past, the house included old-world reminders, like Larry’s parents’ wedding photos done in chalk, Sandra’s great-grandmother’s wedding dress displayed on a mannequin, a grandfather clock, an old-style telephone and a 1938 vintage cash register among other antique paraphernalia. “Sandra always appreciated age and quality,” says Larry. “Lucky me – the older I get, the more she loves me.” During their 20 years of B&B operation, the couple gathered many stories to share. A guest journal in each of the rooms captured guests’ personal stories about their stay. Larry, too, has stories to tell about entertaining the guests with his own tongue-in-cheek tales. “We met wonderful people from all over the world,” says Larry. “We dealt with some agencies in Europe and that gave us a lot of guests, a lot of Americans, a few Canadians, but mainly global travellers, New Zealand, Australia. We had several guests that came back for the second and third time and you really begin to relate with them and develop a relationship.” After Larry suffered a shoulder fracture in an accident, and was unable to continue the work a B&B required, he and Sandra decided to retire their B&B. Larry’s ambition turned to writing and Sandra, an original heritage buff, still works with the Heritage Committee. The Heritage Gem is no longer open for business, but the ghosts and guests that have passed through the house remain alive in the pages of Larry’s book. A “Heritage” Gem is available at Bolen Books, Chapters, Munro’s Books, Royal BC Museum gift shop, Senior Living online bookstore, some smaller bookstores and local coffee/book SL shops, as well as the website. For more information about Larry Gray and A “Heritage” Gem, visit www.cricketpublishing.net

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hen Gord Theedom’s wife of 54 years passed away, she left a gaping hole in his world. Gord, a sprightly 84, explains how he came to find CHLY, the community radio station: “I was killing time one afternoon and found myself at the bottom of the China steps in downtown Nanaimo. I saw a sign for the Radio Malaspina Society and, since I had worked at CHUB radio for a short time, I wandered in and struck up a conversation with station manager, [Dylan Perry].” Within minutes Dylan was convinced that Gord would be an asset to the community radio station. The result of this impromptu meeting was a weekly radio show, Music from the Past, which began in 2007 and broadcasts every Monday morning from 11 a.m. to noon. Lots had changed since Gord worked in radio in 1954, and he first had to figure out how to transfer his weekly show from tape to CD, as per station requirements. Enter Tommy Roden, 80, straight from the driving range. The game of golf brought these two record collectors together. A friend of Gord’s eldest son was an instructor at the Nanaimo Golf Club, where Tommy was a member. When the instructor learned that Tommy’s collection exceeded 25,000 albums, he encouraged him to connect with Gord, who not only had a home studio, but over 8,000 albums. Intrigued, Tommy introduced himself to Gord and, within days, put his technical skills to use upgrading Gord’s home studio and enabling him to meet station requirements for his weekly radio show. After helping Gord record his weekly program onto CD, Tommy was encouraged, for about a year, by both Gord and the station manager before he finally capitulated and agreed to do his own show. What’s Next? began in May 2010 and continues to surprise listeners each week. In addition to his technical skills, which were developed during a lengthy career in television and radio, Tommy believes in being of service to his community. Since retiring in Nanaimo in 1992, he has served on the boards of the Nanaimo Citizen Advocacy, the United Way, Mid-Island Co-op and the Recycling Exchange. Not surprisingly, the Mid-Island Co-op and the Recycling Exchange are proud sponsors of Tommy’s weekly show. Gord only writes down his playlist, the rest of his one-hour show is unscripted. He believes the weekly show keeps him sharp and mentally active. In addition to producing his show, Gord has been busy transferring his impressive collection of 78s onto CDs. In three weeks, he completed 867 records and compiled almost 40 CDs, each containing 23 or 24 records. Gord frequently credits his friend for the quality of his home studio, saying, “If it wasn’t for Tommy, I wouldn’t be anywhere.” Despite the chaotic nature of community radio, these two are unfazed by the antics of their fellow programmers. Tommy is

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adamant that “when you are working towards a common goal, there is no age difference.” Indeed, being able to interact with the younger generation is a thrill for both Gord and Tommy. Upon arriving at a station open house and barbecue for Vancouver Island University students, Gord was offered a hot dog but declined, stating “I’m hot enough as it is.” Whether young or old, the people of Radio Malaspina Society (CHLY 101.7 FM) are committed to engaging listeners with an inclusive, intelligent and innovative alternative media experience. Personal responsibility in all levels of community is encouraged. CHLY is a campus- and community-supported forum for the voices of Vancouver Island University, Nanaimo, the Islands and beyond. Were it not for CHLY’s community spirit, Gord and Tommy would not be on the air today.

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(Left to right) Station Assistant Ashta Cormier, Gord Theedom, Tommy Roden and Station Manager Dylan Perry exchange ideas after a volunteer meeting.

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In addition to catering to an audience that appreciates both radio and fine music, these two take their volunteer commitments seriously. Often they complete their weekly shows two to three weeks in advance. In addition, they both pitch to their audience during the station’s biannual fundraising campaigns, helping to raise operating funds that keep CHLY alive. The two also collaborate on an annual St. Patrick’s Day special, now entering its fourth year. It airs at midnight on March 16. They enjoy sharing rare music with their listeners – even if they don’t know who they are. Arriving home one day after his show, Gord was congratulated by a stranger as he got out of his car. Considering most 80 year olds only mingle with 23 year olds when parents and grandchildren get together for family visits and special occasions, Gord and Tommy consider themselves lucky. Their volunteer commitment with the Radio Malaspina Society ensures they work alongside other programmers who are young enough to be their grandchildren. Community radio is the bridge SL that connects the generations. To hear these two octogenarians, tune in to 101.7 FM every Monday morning. What’s Next? airs from 10-11 a.m. followed by Music from the Past from 11 a.m.-noon. For more information about the station, visit www.chly.ca WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

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Playing a Legend Arts & Entertainment

BY MARGARET GROWCOTT

Bill Zaalberg on stage performing as Neil Diamond.

Photo: Lexi Bainas/courtesy of the Cowichan Citizen News

s a 1960s teenager who formed a high school rock ‘n’ roll band in Victoria, Bill Zaalberg had no idea his talent would carry him beyond normal retirement age into a lucrative musical career impersonating a famous singer of the ’70s. DOUBLE DIAMOND, Bill’s stage performance, a tribute to pop star Neil Diamond, has proved so successful it has been playing sold-out shows to B.C. audiences since 2001. Bill is the first to admit he does not particularly look like Neil Diamond, “but that doesn’t matter,” he says. “The important thing is the concept of recreating the era – the heyday of Neil Diamond in the ’70s.” Born in Holland, Bill was eight years old when his family immigrated to Canada. The Zaalbergs and their three children left war-torn Leiden, near Rotterdam, in 1952 and went straight to Victoria, where Bill has lived ever since. Used to hearing his father play the pennywhistle and strum on the guitar, it was natural enough for Bill to take up an instrument himself. He first played trumpet in the high school band. “I didn’t like the trumpet much and broke it,” confesses Bill. “I then moved on to the guitar.” He started to take guitar lessons in 1960 but found them tedious. “It was taking too long,” Bill recalls. “If I had stuck to formal lessons, I would have failed miserably. I found I could learn by ear much faster and taught myself all the chords.” It wasn’t long before Bill formed his first band. “The Esquires,” as they were known, rehearsed in the lunchroom during the midday break. They played at local par-

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ties, house jams and get-togethers whenever they could. On one occasion, they made news headlines when they were kicked out of a vacant church in Saanich. Their music was considered “ungodly.” The band quickly improved and things escalated when “The Esquires” finally played at the first “Sock Hop.” Bill’s rock ‘n’ roll idols were stars like Roy Orbison, Buddy Holly, Little Richard and Jerry Lee Lewis. He heard Neil Diamond’s hit song “Cherry, Cherry” around 1966 and immediately connected with his music. He found other songs by the pop/rock star to be a natural fit for his voice as they both have the same timbre. “From then on, he was the best,” says Bill. “I began to include his songs in my gigs and it wasn’t long before my repertoire was thoroughly laced with Neil Diamond hits.”

“If I had stuck to formal lessons, I would have failed miserably. I found I could learn by ear much faster and taught myself all the chords.”

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After leaving school, Bill worked in a TV repair shop for a couple of years and then BC Tel, where he remained until 1975. Bill’s evening “job” as a singer and entertainer was beginning to take precedence over his day job. “I suddenly decided that I would turn pro with my guitar and singing,” he says. “Up to that time, music had just been a hobby.” He left his job at BC Tel, where he had worked for 10 years. “Although there was not much support at home for going into the music business full time, I said to myself, ‘I am going to do it,’ and was determined to do well,” says Bill. “I had a trio under the name BRANDY, which was my professional name.” BRANDY came about via a popular song at that time: “Brandy, you’re a fine girl” by the group Looking Glass. Working steadily in the entertainment business at local restaurants, hotel lounges as a solo act, and in small ensembles, Bill never looked back. For the next 16 years, he became a house entertainer for the Esquimalt Legion Branch 172, where he produced shows with other entertainers. Some of their performances were dubbed Swing Nights, Vegas Nights, Cruise Ship Nights and a show called “BillyZ and the Travelling Wannabes,” where they impersonated various “star” characters in full makeup and costume – Tom Jones, Bobby Darin, Elvis and Engelbert, Willie Nelson, Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. One of the characters Bill impersonated was Neil Diamond, and he realized this was his best “character impersonation.” He also released

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several albums during this period. His takeoff of Neil Diamond became so popular he found more and more audiences were requesting him to perform in this genre, so in 2001 Bill came up with a plan. He put together a 12-piece band and formed the show DOUBLE DIAMOND – The Definitive Neil Diamond Tribute. Most of the band was made up of younger people who had never heard of Neil Diamond, but they soon became just as enthusiastic as Bill about the music. All the members of the Neil Diamond Tribute performances are talented local musicians, each working in their own bands when not playing for Bill. A recent addition is a jazz singer from Victoria, Aurora Scott, whose specialty

Bill as himself.

in the upcoming show will be Santa Baby, the song made famous by Eartha Kitt. The Christmas Special will be on December 9th in Sidney’s Charlie White Theatre. Testament to the expertise and versatility of the band, regular concerts feature a stunning opening act, TUSK, a 20-minute throwback to Fleetwood Mac songbird Stevie Nicks, performed by Kathleen Zaalberg. Kathleen is Bill’s daughter-in-law, and all agree she is the spitting image of Nicks. With nine previous sold-out performances in Sidney, the band has had “back-to-back” shows since 2006. They provide non-stop sizzling musical entertainment, plus adlib antics from band members, particularly the brass section, which improvises to the always receptive audience. The trombone player, in particular, is a born clown. However, on one occasion, he got so carried away he slid the long valve right off the end of his trombone, which almost landed in 38

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the front row. The audience was reduced to hysterics. Looking back, amazingly undaunted by lack of support from his family in 1975, Bill is grateful to his co-workers at BC Tel and co-musicians, who encouraged him and believed in his talent. Likewise, his high school sweetheart, Norwegian-born Margaret, was a staunch supporter. She is now his wife and, although still working part time as a nurse in respite care for special needs children, is a stellar force in helping organize Bill’s shows. Margaret also helps backstage and during rehearsals at the large studio/rehearsal room attached to their home in Victoria. Bill says the real Neil Diamond is still his best music instructor. “If he had been my music teacher in Grade 7 at S.J. Willis Jr. High School, my musical career would have taken off much sooner.” As Neil Diamond is only two years older than Bill, this would have been impossible. No one can deny, however, that Bill Zaalberg’s musical career has taken off in a way that he could not have foreseen at school with his highly SL skilled “takeoff” of the legendary pop star. DOUBLE DIAMOND concert: December 9th at the Mary Winspear Centre – Charlie White Theatre, 2243 Beacon Avenue, Sidney at 8 p.m. Tickets: $47 + HST. Box office: 250-656-0275 or online: www.marywinspear.ca

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NOVEMBER 2011

Travel & Adventure

OSOYOOS: DESERT OF THE NORTH BY JOAN W. WINTER

n a cloudy mid-September day, we load up our motorhome, leave Vancouver and hope for one last week of summer sunshine before winter sets in. Osoyoos, desert of the north – lowest rainfall, highest temperatures and warmest lakes in Canada – is our destination. Three hundred and ninety-six kilometres from home, an easy five-hour, scenic and sunlit drive through the mountains to the lush South Okanagan Valley and we arrive.

Photos: Joan and Bruce Winter

tors during the summer months. It sprawls comfortably on the narrowest part of Osoyoos Lake, close to the Canadian/U.S. border at Oroville, Washington. Originally named Suisus (pronounced Soo-Ewss), translated from the local Okanagan Salish First Nation’s dialect, means where the water narrows or sand bar across. The “O” was likely added by early settlers, perhaps to lend more dignity or to blend with the other “O” names in the region – Oliver, Okanagan, Oroville and Omak. Arriving in late afternoon and needing to stretch our legs, we meander The author’s husband, Bruce, admires the terroir at the Burrowing Owl Winery. around downtown and admire the quiet, well-groomed streets and vibrant, profusely flowering hanging baskets. On a downhill slope, the main street curves to the right, then loops east on a wide causeway past a variety of lakeshore hotels, motels, parks and beaches. Behind the town, shaded light and dark by sun and cloud, Osoyoos Lake stretches as far as the eye can see. Beyond the lake, contrasting sharply with rows of bright, lush vegetation, acre after acre of vineyards and orchards, which surround the town and lakeshore at lower levels, rises a mountainous landscape of dry semi-desert. Clumps of sagebrush, greasewood, bunch grass, and rabbit and antelope bush dot the rocky, grey-green hillsides. Known as the Osoyoos Arid Osoyoos, we discover, is a friendly little town, with a resi- Biotic Zone, or Pocket Desert, the area is part of the Great dent population of just over 5,000 and many additional visi- Basin Desert and part of the network of deserts that extend

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southward to the Sonoran Desert in Mexico. It is Canada’s only “arid” desert environment, one of the most unique and endangered ecologically regions in North America, and home to over 100 rare plants and 300 rare invertebrates. Rattlesnakes make their home here, as do toads and turtles, beavers and bats, muskrats and mice, salamanders, scorpions and the black widow spider. Deer and bighorn sheep roam the hills. Along the lakeshore, grasses, reeds and willows provide habitat to many varieties of wildlife and a large variety of bird species. Day two promises to be hot, but our lakeside campsite on the east side of town at the Nk’Mip RV Resort is tree-shaded and cool. Rising early, wanting to explore before the heat of the day and keeping a wary eye open for rattlesnakes, we follow the scrub-dotted shoreline to a small, deserted cove and white sandy beach. Sand dunes make walking difficult, so we remove our shoes and enjoy the feel of warm sand squishing between our toes. A clutch of canoes and a rowboat appear around the point, but after a cheery wave and “Hullo, there!” the occupants keep going. The Nk’Mip, or “bottom-land” native people, who have inhabited the area for thousands of years, own the land. The Nk’Mip (pronounced Ink-a-meep), in a highly successful ecotourism project started in the early 1990s, have resourcefully developed the area into a popular year-round resort. Large swaths of eco-sensitive land are left untouched to protect endangered plant and animal life. Through educational and protective programs to support them, the Nk’Mip have succeeded in creating an ecologically and culturally responsible tourism business venture that not only not only generates annual revenues in excess of $40 million, but creates hundreds of jobs for Aboriginal people. Economically successful, the project allows the band to administer its own health, education, social and municipal services. At lakeside level, there is a huge RV park, complete with bistro, general store, laundry and shower facilities, swimming pool and recreational centre. Higher up the hill is a riding stable, and beyond that, hugging the side of the canyon, rows of grape-laden vines lead to a state-of-the-art winery. A five-

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star vacation resort and spa, restaurants, a golf course, conference facilities and Aboriginal cultural centre complete the hilltop complex. Leaving our quiet, sunny beach, we return to our campsite to freshen up before hiking up the hill to enjoy lunch at the Nk’Mip Cellars’ award-winning winery. Seated on a wide, flower-bedecked plateau overlooking the vineyard, lake and town beyond, we sample wines and a delicious meal of venison and cherry meatballs, served with quinoa walnut salad. It is our first taste experience of quinoa, an ancient, highly nutritious protein-rich grain, and we love it.

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cold, but smooth and dry. We learn about their habits and habitat, and what to do if a rattler, the only venomous snake in B.C., bites us. Fortunately, rattlers, now on the endangered species list, are shy creatures that normally depart or seek cover when people approach. They strike only after a warning rattle, giving an intruder time to walk around or away. They do not follow; they don’t want to bite an animal too big to swallow. Bites, if they do occur, are seldom fatal, but medical help should be sought immediately. After another early morning beach walk, a circle tour the following day brings us to the neighbouring town of Joan and Bruce enjoy a morning beach walk.

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After lunch, we head over to the Nk’Mip Desert Cultural Centre to take in the “Snakes Alive” educational program. Gopher snakes, garter snakes, racers and rattlers – we watch, mesmerized, as handler Russell, a Cree Indian presenter, shows with videos and live “models” the seven snake species native to B.C. We are encouraged to touch some of the smaller ones and are surprised to learn they are not slimy and WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

Oliver. Vineyard after vineyard, large estate wineries and orchards growing almost every kind of fruit imaginable – cherries, apricots, peaches, plums, grapes and apples – line the route. Roadside market stalls display mouthwatering displays of fresh fruit and veggies. Year-round tours, wine tasting, excellent food and even lodging are offered by some of the estate wineries in the area.

We tour Oliver and then circle back towards Osoyoos, visiting wineries on the way. A delicious lunch on the patio of the Sonora Room, Burrowing Owl Estate Winery, is followed by an informative self-guided tour. We learn about wine production, and the significance of terroir: a combination of factors that give wine its distinctive flavour. Climate, soil and sunlight topography (geographical exposure to the sun) create the terroir that produces the unique taste and aromatic characteristics of each winery’s grapes.

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Tel. 250-590-1667 Armed with brochures about the area and its history from Oliver Information Centre, we follow back roads to the historic homestead of the Haynes family. Built in 1860 during the pioneer cattle ranching era for John Carmichael Haynes, a highly respected and prominent judge, customs officer and landowner, the house, now derelict, commands a breathtaking view of the valley and surrounding hills. Later, Judge Haynes became a cattle rancher. After increasing his cattle herd to 4,000 head, he acquired the title Cattle-King of the South Okanagan. Along with other Irish landed proprietors, he established cattle ranching as the first industry of the Okanagan. “Hey, pull over, what was that?” Heading home on Highway 3, nine kilometres out of town, I spy what appears to be a lake, but one that’s dotted with large green, white, and yellow spots. Walking back up the highway to investigate, we find a rare natural phenomenon. The spotted lake (situated on privately owned land, but visible from the road), covering 15.2 hectares (38 acres), contains one of the world’s highest concentrations of minerals. Fed by run-off from the surrounding hills, the lake dries out as the summer progresses, its mud forming into white, yellow, green and blue circles, depending on its mineral composition. Known to First Nations people as Klikuk, the lake is of cultural significance and revered as a sacred place of healing. Reluctantly leaving warm and wonderful Osoyoos, we alSL ready make plans to return.

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Photo: Jason van der Valk

ASK Goldie BY GOLDIE CARLOW, M.ED

Dear Goldie: Now that I’m retired and in my senior years, I would like to spend time on hobbies, grandchildren and long-neglected interests. My problem is that my wife still sees me as that same person who should put in a full day working. She has a million things lined up for me to do. This is not my idea of a happy retirement. What can you suggest? –L.B. Dear L.B.: Sometimes people reach their retirement years without recognition of aging and life changes. The only way to alter your wife’s perspective is good communication. You mention grandchildren, so maybe you could get your children involved. Call a family meeting and encourage everyone to speak freely. I assure you there will be some surprises, but also greater comprehension of the existing problems. Possibly a change of scenery – a little holiday for both of you would help your relationship too. Dear Goldie: My husband and I had a busy life at work, as well as raising four children. We both looked forward to retirement, free of family cares and time to travel. Well, here we are at that time of anticipation and now my husband refuses to go anywhere. He is glued to the TV plus an occasional coffee break with his past working buddies. What can I do? He refuses to go anywhere for a holiday with me. –R.S. Dear R.S.: Be sure your husband is in good health by speaking to his doctor about his attitude. If all is well, then you may have to change your personal retirement plans. There are senior travel companies you can contact for future holidays on your own. You may have a friend who could accompany you. If not, be assured you will meet other seniors on trips who travel on SL their own as well. SENIOR PEER COUNSELLING CENTRES Campbell River 250-287-3044 Courtenay/Comox 250-334-9917 Duncan 250-748-2133 Nanaimo 250-754-3331

Port Hardy 250-949-5110 Salt Spring Island 250-537-4607 Sidney 250-656-5537 Victoria 250-382-4331

Goldie Carlow is a retired registered nurse, clinical counsellor and senior peer counselling trainer. 44

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COURAGEOUS and OUTRAGEOUS

Delaney Relocation

and Home Support Services inc.

Photo: Frances Litman

BY PAT NICHOL

n the morning of her 50th birthday, Donna Lynch’s mother was diagnosed with cancer. First, came the tears, and then came the realization that life needed to be lived to the fullest each day. “I have always been a traveller, having been through 43 countries since I was 21,” says Donna. “I don’t know who sent me the Facebook map that led to the dream, but I am thankful to them. That night, the idea for a book came to me. ‘I’m 50, and I want to speak to 50 women in 50 countries over the next year.’” So began a year that was a dream come true and consequently a book. Donna, author of 50 ish, began to plan where and how to complete her travels. “I met women who had never left their village, still cooked on open fires and had to get water from a stream,” she says. “The women were all ambitious, multi-tasking, determined. No one had slowed down, and most seemed to have found inner wisdom to enjoy and appreciate life as it is.” “They realized at 50 they are who they are, they don’t have to prove themselves or worry what others may think. The women helped me understand that turning 50 was a new freedom that was to be embraced

50 ish! with joy and excitement.” Donna planned to visit 25 first-world countries and 25 developing countries. But it didn’t work out quite the way she thought it would. She gave six months’ notice at work, set her plans in motion and decided to follow the sun. Seldom travelling alone, she sometimes joined a small tour. Over the period, seven friends joined her for several weeks. She came home twice during the trek. The book is beautifully laid out, easy to read, begins in Mexico, goes around the world and ends in Costa Rica; there is an interview with a 50ish woman from each country. Donna finishes her book with this statement. “I will never stop exploring the world, but even after 50 countries, I still believe that we in Canada and especially in Victoria are the luckiest people in the world. Our quality of life and our environment is absolutely the best.” The experience has Donna planning her next book: how Victoria compares SL with the world. For more information, visit online at 50ishthebook.com Pat Nichol is a speaker and published author. www.patnichol.com

How We Can Help Moving can be stressful at best and overwhelming at worst. Don’t it take on alone. In fact, don’t take it on at all - let Delaney Relocation and Home Support Services inc. handle everything. We also provide a full range of home support service. MENTION THIS AD AND GET $100 OFF YOUR NEXT MOVE!

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CSA

T 250.334.9922 | C 250.338.3359 anne@delaneyrelocation.com | www.delaneyrelocation.com

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NOVEMBER 2011

CLASSIFIEDS SAANICH VOLUNTEER SERVICES seeks volunteers who can drive clients to medical appointments. If you have time to spare call 250-595-8008. EVERYTHING YOU NEED FOR A PRINT-READY MEMOIR Aldridge Street Publishing. Transcription - Editing Cover Design - Book Layout. www.aldridgestreet.com Call 250-590-5910.

COUNSELLING SERVICES for Grief and Loss; Life Transitions; Anxiety and Depression; Relationship Challenges. Senior Discounts Available. Phone 250812-5634 www.maureendrage.com GREATER VICTORIA FOOT CARE SERVICES. In-home care by registered nurse and certiﬁed foot care specialist. 250208-3353. www.islandnet.com/~rhutch

COLLECTOR SEEKING vintage/collectable cameras, binoculars and microscopes. Nikon, Leica, Contax, Rolleiﬂex, Zeiss, Canon, etc. Mike 250-383-6456 or e-mail: msymons6456@telus.net

WANTED: OLD POSTCARDS, stamp accumulations, and pre-1950 stamped envelopes. Also buying old coins, medals and badges. Please call Michael 250-652-9412 or email fenian@shaw.ca

CUBA – ‘Spanish Studies in Cuba’ (Havana), $2,500.00 Can. for 4 wks. Hotel with breakfast and dinner, tuition fee. (Air fare not included) 250-478-0494ssic@telus.net

HOME FOOT CARE by Nurse Foot Care Specialist Marcia Goodwin R.N.,B.Sc.N. 35 yrs. Nsg. Experience • Caring • Comprehensive • Professional • Gentle 250-6863081. (Victoria Area)

DRIVING MISS DAISY ® Places to go? People to see? Appointments to keep? Choose one of we three! Susan: 250-5884638 (Victoria) Heather: 250-507-2336 (Sidney) John: 250-813-0440 (Westshore) MOVING? DOWNSIZING? Decluttering? Re: Organized Professional Organizing can help every step of the way. We make it easy! 250-217-9706 www.reorganized.ca DEBI’S MOBILE HAIR SERVICES in the comfort of your home for everyone in your family. Serving the Victoria area. Please call Debi at 250-477-7505. MOBILE FOOT CARE NURSE home visits in greater Nanaimo, Cedar to Parksville. John Patterson LPN, qualified nursing foot care for toenails, corns and calluses. 250-390-9266. RUTH M.P HAIRSTYLING for Seniors in Greater Victoria. In the convenience of your own home! Certified Hairdresser. Call - 250-893-7082. LAWN AND GARDEN SERVICES starting at 30/hr. Certified Horticulturist - Fully Insured. References on request. Call Jason @ 250-893-8620 or email oliphantgardens@gmail.com BBB ACCREDITED PROUD MEMBER Home Instead Senior Care has professional non-medical careGivers who are passionate about their work, and are looking for new clients to serve. Call Alistair for a complimentary consultation 250.382.6565 46

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REFRESH YOUR FACE, enliven your body Energy/Light Facials are a clean natural treatment Don’t be a Botox™ Babe Call Diana (RAc, TCMP) 250-478-8190 www.dianabickford.com COMPUTER TUTOR FOR SENIORS Private computer lessons specially designed for seniors in their own home. Apple & Microsoft friendly. 250-818-8835 www.tutorforseniors.com BRIGHT IDEAS TECHNOLOGY In home computer support & training. 20% Seniors discount. Call Jason today 250-480-8259. We look forward to helping you discover today’s technology. www.brightideastech.ca A LEGACY COMPASSIONATE CARE RCA Certiﬁed, Red Cross, 20 years experience, companion chauffeur. Call Alana at 250-588-5412. RENT EMERALD ESTATES Parksville. 55+ independent supportive living, 2bd, 2bth, quiet, clean sunny end unit Available for move in Nov. 15th – Dec 1st. Walking distance to local amenities. Rent includes housekeeping & onsite manager. (Dining program optional). One small pet allowed. To view, call 250-586-6703. MATURE CARING RESPONSIBLE woman available for pet and house sitting. 10 years experience. Call Dorothy at 250-388-9964. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

PRIVATE DAY COMPANION: Providing the security of personal services designed to assist individuals with maintaining an active, enhanced lifestyle. Will aid in a variety of errands, appointments, and social/recreational activities. For more information please call Sherry @ 778-426-1601 and/or email: sbragg.muenda@gmail.com ARE YOU IN GRIEF, undergoing signiﬁcant life changes or have a desire for inspiration, peace and balance? 10 Things I Learned in Heaven: Inspiration by the Week, written by Nanaimo Best-selling author, Moneca Litton, offers all this in a beautifully bound and printed little book. Order through www.10thingsILearnedInHeaven. com or 250 585-8085. HEALING CONSULTANT - Specializing in Health Assessment in Home. Let Nurse Marcia Help You to Be Well. Call 250-686-3081. THE SKY’S THE LIMIT “Service For Seniors.” Companioning, spiritual care, housecleaning, errands, meal prep, life transitions, downsizing, moving. Excellent references, 20 years experience, $20/ hour. Diane BFA .Dip A..Th. 250-744-1456. diwhalen@telus.net PERSONALS VICTORIA MAN 68 NS, tall trim. Wants to meet a woman to share hikes, beach, music, theatre and food. 250-721-1593.

CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING $30 for 20 words or less. $1.25 per extra word. BW only. Red spot color 10% extra. Boxed Ad - Small (2.2 x 1.2) $110. Boxed Ad - Large (2.2 x 2.4) $210. Plus tax. Ads must be paid at booking. Cheque / Credit Card accepted. Ph. (250)479-4705, Toll-free 1-877-479-4705. E-mail: ofﬁce@seniorlivingmag.com Deadline: 15th of the month. Make cheque payable to: Senior Living, Magazine 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 OCTOBER 2009 39

SCAM ALERT BY ROSALIND SCOTT

Tips for Giving Wisely

any of us are filled with a Legitimate charities will welcome your other funds to pay this, but the expenses desire to help others dur- money tomorrow. If the solicitor pres- will still be incurred. ing the holiday season. sures you with intimidation or harassing Whether it’s volunteering at a soup phone calls, don’t hesitate to file a comWatch out for cases of mistaken kitchen or donating money to a cause, plaint with BBB. identity. With about 9,000 registered this time of year is thought of charities in B.C. alone, it’s not as a time for giving. surprising that some charity Unfortunately, fraudulent names sound alike. Be careful To avoid scams or having donation charities often emerge to try that the one soliciting you is the to scam donations from wellone you have in mind. dollars misdirected, donors would do meaning Canadians. To avoid well to plan their giving and demand scams or having your dollars Watch out for charity misdirected, donors would do fraud. Legitimate charities do accountability of the organizations well to plan their giving and not demand donations; they soliciting their support. demand accountability of the willingly provide written inorganizations soliciting their formation about their prosupport. grams, finances or how donaBe cautious when giving online. tions are used; and they never insist If you plan to donate money, whether it’s for those in need during the holiday Be cautious about online giving, espe- you provide your credit card number, season or for another cause close to cially in response to messages and emails bank account number or any other peryour heart, BBB would like to offer the that claim to link to a charitable organi- sonal information. following advice: zation, in particular with those linked to disaster relief. In the days following the Tax receipts. If you want to make Think before you give. Door-to- Japanese earthquake and tsunami, sev- a tax-deductible donation, only a regisdoor solicitations for donations are com- eral phoney charitable websites popped tered charity has a Registration Number from the Canada Revenue Agency and mon, but when an unfamiliar organiza- up alleging to help victims. can issue donation receipts for gifts. tion comes knocking, don’t give without gathering details. Ask for the charity’s Check out a charity’s claims. Dename and address, get full identification spite what an organization might claim, Learn more about giving to charities SL from the solicitor and review it carefully. charities have fundraising and adminis- by visiting vi.bbb.org Ask to see written information on the trative costs. Even a credit card donation charity’s programs and finances; then will involve, at a minimum, a process- If you believe you have been the target visit the Canadian Revenue Agency for ing fee. If charities claim 100 per cent of a scam, call the Better Business Bua list of registered charities in Canada to of collected funds will be assisting, for reau Vancouver Island at 250-386-6348 confirm they’re legitimate. instance, earthquake victims, the truth is in Greater Victoria or at 1-877-826that the organization is still probably in- 4222 elsewhere on the Island, so othGiving later might be better. Nev- curring fundraising and administrative ers can beneﬁt from your experience. er feel pressured to give on the spot. expenses. They may use some of their E-mail info@vi.bbb.org WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

NOVEMBER 2011

Reﬂections THEN & NOW

BY GIPP FORSTER

’m old-fashioned. I’m a leftover relic from the “olden days.” I’m kind of like an old Victor-Victrola that can still be wound up, but doesn’t move as fast as it once did. Or an eighttrack tape that is still lying around but is no longer taken seriously. I’m not alone! I’m part of a fraternity. If you’re reading this, then maybe you’re part of this fraternity as well. It isn’t easy being an antique. Young people, at times, poke and prod me to see if I still work. Grocery clerks ask me if I need help out of my car. I hear: “Out of the way, old man!” on busy downtown streets. I’m a senior, to be sure, but that doesn’t mean that my mind is as slow as my body has become. I can still admire a pretty girl. Go to an action-packed movie and not fall out of my seat. Chew gum, and tap my foot to an upbeat tune. Maybe I can no longer race, compete in the workforce, or walk home from the Empress. That does not stop me from still having plenty to offer. Some time ago, I helped a blind woman find her destination. I also went to Future Shop to purchase a new television for a shut-in whose old television had suddenly decided to retire. I can still put dirty dishes in the dish-

washer, and spill soup down the front of my shirt. I can write this column, and find my way around Thrifty’s. There are still a few miles left on this overweight, overtired body. And no one’s going to tell me differently! This old tiger may not have all its teeth, but it can sure work up a roar when a roar is needed. My wife just told me to be careful not to mistake a yawn for a roar. I was going to roar at her for making light of what I’m saying, but I think I’ll wait until after my nap. I guess I am old-fashioned in certain ways. I still believe a gentleman should give up his seat for a lady, and he should always be on the outside of her when walking down the street. I believe in saying “please” and “thank you,” and not dropping my “g”s in conversation. I believe in manners and morals, and reverence where reverence is due; all those things from yesteryear that we learned at home, as well as in school. If all of this makes me “old-fashioned” then so be it! After all, I’m old – at least in the eyes of a teenager or young adult. When it comes to fashion, my dress is relaxed. My evening clothes consist of pyjamas, bathrobe and slippers. If I go for a drink, it’s usually into the kitchen for a

“Reﬂections” MAIL-IN ORDER FORM Reﬂections, Rejections, and Other Breakfast Foods Name_____________________________________ by Gipp Forster A collection of Gipp’s humorous and nostalgic columns. A wonderful read for Reflections, �� yourself, and a and Other Breakfast Foods thoughtful gift for friends and family members.

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DAPPER MINDS

glass of water. Birthdays are tolerated and no longer celebrated. Age has its downside, but it also has its upside. I pay less now to get into a movie. The only problem with that is there aren’t any decent movies. I can save a buck or two by ordering from a seniors’ menu in a restaurant. And because I don’t walk too well anymore, I get to board an airplane first. It’s too bad I no longer travel. I guess the problem with being older is that the young, for some reason, think our brains are as grey as our hair. And because some of us need certain aids to assist us to walk, they think we need extra assistance to help us think. My brain isn’t disabled or limited, even though my body may be flirting with different dilemmas. Maybe my body can no longer run, but my mind still can. The only problem is it doesn’t always remember where it’s running. But other than that, my mind is still as sharp as a tack. It’s true I don’t move around too much anymore, but my wife doesn’t complain when she has to dust me. So, I guess she still wants me to stay. Old-fashioned? Oh, yes, indeed! I am. I am. I mean, there has to be some of us who still believe in proper diction, in manners, and in opening the door for ladies. We might be getting fewer and fewer and older and older (not old!), but our memory still holds fast to what our parents taught us when we were young. So, here’s to dapper minds hiding in tired bodies, and to the time when morality was a SL way of life – and not an option.

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