May 2013 Senior Living Magazine by INSPIRED 55+ Lifestyle Magazine

SPECIAL PLANNED GIVING EDITION MAY 2013 TM

50+ Active Living Magazine

Gipp Forster Farewell to a Friend Tetra Society Engineers Help People Overcome Disability Don’t Give Up Your Right to Decide

Dr. David Suzuki Environmental Stewardship Starts With Family

Artist Richard Wong Brushing Oﬀ Retirement www.seniorlivingmag.com WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

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FEATURES

28 Dreamer of Dreams

6 Environmental Stewardship Starts with Family

Interview with Canadian icon Dr. David Suzuki.

Children’s author Darlene Foster proves that perseverance pays off.

22/43 Farewell to a Friend

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10-21 PLANNED GIVING SECTION

Our thoughts and feelings about Gipp Forster, April 15, 1937–April 15, 2013.

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10 Overcoming Obstacles

The Tetra Society helps seniors and those with disabilities stay in their homes longer.

DEPARTMENTS

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12 Team Work for a Community’s Future

Saanich Peninsula Hospital donors and volunteers Gordon and Nina Benn.

14 The Guardian’s Angel

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39 Classiﬁeds

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COLUMNS 4 The Family Caregiver by Barbara Small

Vancouver Humane Society’s gatekeeper between hope and despair, June Humphreys.

36 Fit for the Adventure

18 Estate Planning for Your Pet

37 Ask Goldie

Questions to consider when making future plans for your family pet.

19 Advanced Care Decisions

What they are and why you need to make them.

24 Brushing Off Retirement ��

33 Travel

Oriental Brush and watercolour artist Richard Wong picked up art on a retirement whim.

by Eve Lees

by Goldie Carlow

38 Courageous & Outrageous by Pat Nichol

40 Forever Young by William Thomas

44 Reﬂections: Then & Now by Gipp Forster

26 Portraying a Community

Port Alberni’s video journalist Nancy Wilmot shares community stories. Cover Photo: The incomparable Dr. David Suzuki. Story page 6. Photo: Creative Commons

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Senior Living is published by Stratis Publishing. Publisher Barbara Risto Editor Bobbie Jo Reid editor@seniorlivingmag.com

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No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Unsolicited articles are welcome and should be e-mailed to editor@seniorlivingmag. com Senior Living is distributed free throughout British Columbia. Stratis Publishing Ltd. publishes Senior Living (12 issues per year). ISSN 17103584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)

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MAY 2013

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THE FAMILY CAREGIVER

Recognizing and Celebrating Family Caregivers in BC

long with other caregiver support organizations and community-based groups around the province, the Family Caregivers’ Network will celebrate provincial Family Caregiver Week, May 4-10, to recognize and thank BC’s more than one million unpaid family and friend caregivers. Family caregivers are a key part of the healthcare team in providing care and support to family and friends who are in poor health, elderly or living with a disability. The goal of this provincially-proclaimed week is to increase public awareness and to recognize the vital role caregivers play in our province. Make time to acknowledge family caregivers for their dedication and commitment to improving the quality of life for the person they are caring for, often in detriment to their own health and wellness. Their time and energy is used up navigating the healthcare system, finding resources or figuring out how to meet someone else’s personal and medical needs. Being a caregiver brings with it many responsibilities as well as a multitude of emotions. Family caregivers provide care for a variety of reasons. It may be out of love and caring, a sense of duty, obligation, guilt or because there doesn’t seem to be anyone else available. The support provided can range from simply driving the person to a doctor’s appointment or picking up groceries to providing one-on-one personal care 24/7. The Family Caregivers’ Network (250-384-0408 or www. familycaregiversnetwork.org) and similar organizations in other communities provide programs and services that can

assist caregivers. Also, the local health authority can provide assistance through their Home and Community Care programs. Self-identifying as a family caregiver is a key step toward BY BARBARA SMALL recognizing the demands and responsibilities the role entails. Asking for help and accessing services can help alleviate the burden. It is essential to ask for support from the beginning to avoid burnout, and it is also important for caregivers to maintain their own interests and social circles. As the person receiving care, you can give back to your caregiver by encouraging them to take some time to replenish their energy or make arrangements for others to pitch in. Showing your appreciation to your caregiver can help them stay strong, healthy and better able to care for you. Watch for events being held in communities across the province during Family Caregiver Week, May 4-10. For information about free webinars and tele-workshops visit www. SL familycaregiversnetwork.org Next month: Respite: Getting the Break You Deserve Barbara Small is the Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society located in Victoria, BC. www.familycaregiversnetwork.org

The Family Caregiver column is brought to you by the generous sponsorship of Saint Elizabeth

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Canadian Icon

Environmental Stewardship Starts With Family BY MATHIEU POWELL

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dren out camping and hiking from the time they were three to four months old.” David is pleased that his children “drank the lemonade” and adopted some of his beliefs. “I’ve been their mentor. That’s what family is all about,” he says. “I’m proud that they are all committed environmentalists, and I’m sure they’re going to pass that onto their children, my grandchildren.” And he loves his grandkids. “Having grandchildren was unbelievable! I thought being a father was the greatest thing in life, but being a grandfather really does change you because Glenwarren your relationship is different. Your time Lodge is more limited and they absolutely adore 1230 Balmoral Rd you. They don’t see your faults or weakVictoria nesses, they just think you’re wonderful, 250-383-2323 and I can just spoil the hell out of them 11429 01.13

Enhancing Lives Every Day

Dr. David Suzuki and his wife Tara share a laugh.

Photo: Creative Commons

r. David Suzuki attributes his father, Kaoru Carr Suzuki, for inspiring him to enjoy and appreciate the natural world in his youth. Mr. Suzuki senior, born in Vancouver, was the son of Japanese immigrants and the eldest in a family of seven children. “My grandfather was always bawling my father out,” laughs David. “He would say, ‘why did you take David fishing on Saturday? You could have been working and making money.’” “For some reason he loved nature,” says David. “I used to call my father a mutant because he was so different from the rest of the family. He loved fishing, he loved gardening and that was very unusual because when immigrants come to this country, they are generally concerned about security, making money, getting a house and all of that.” David’s childhood memories are of hiking up mountains and going fishing with his dad. Those memories shaped the passions he has held throughout his entire life. One of his earliest memories is of his dad taking him down to a store to buy a tent. “I remember vividly the excitement of buying this little pup tent because we set it up right on the wooden floor of this store, and dad and I crawled into it. I remember he put his arms around me, and it was just so delicious because I was so excited about going camping.” His father remained his role model as David grew up to become a father and then a grandfather. A love of nature remained a steadfast and central theme in the Suzuki family’s lives. “When my first daughter was born, (Severn Cullis-Suzuki), it was the most incredible experience of my life. I loved being a father and, of course, we were always taking our chil-

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and then, of course, hand them back to their mom and dad at the end of the day.” David’s grandchildren don’t understand their grandfather is a Canadian icon, and that is just fine with him. “I’m grandpa,” he laughs. “I’m sure that’s the way it is with anybody. You don’t say to your grandchildren, ‘Hey, I’m a big television star.’ Besides, I discourage them from watching too much television.” Striking a somber note, David discusses how desperate he is about their futures. For years, he has argued that there are limits to growth because we live in the finite world, wherein it is impossible to grow an economy forever. “Our grandchildren and future generations are just not on political or corporate agendas,” he says. “They have a much shorter vision. I hope society will begin thinking much more of the future, not just our current time.” David encourages elders to contribute their wisdom to society by being strong role models in the lives of grandchildren and younger people. “I’m telling elders to get the hell off the golf course or off the couch. You, as elders, have something no other group in society has, and that is that you have lived an entire life. You’ve had experiences, you’ve had successes, and you’ve had failures. Now, you must comb through your life experiences and derive the nuggets of information that you’ve learned and tell young people. We need elders to talk about what once was, and what can be.” With a deep respect for elders of all cultures, David authored a book entitled Wisdom of the Elders, wherein he brings together scientific insights and the knowledge of First Nations people. Their world view was radically different from his training in scientific reductionism – a focus on the parts, rather than the whole. In writing his book, he reconciles those differences, and he demonstrates how the differing views work together. “The First Nations people really showed me that they see themselves in a radically different way,” he says. “They don’t see us as separate, but completely linked. And when they refer to Mother Earth, they don’t mean that in a metaphoric or poetic way, they mean literally. We are created out of the elements of Mother Earth. We’re made of the air, the earth, and the soil.” David’s respect for elders, especially the greatest elder of his life, led him to move in with his 85-year-old father in the last month of his life, and it was a wonderful time. “We laughed and we cried, talked and reminisced, and you know in all that time he never once said, ‘Gee, remember that fancy closet of clothes I had, or the big car I bought or the house we owned?’ He kept saying, ‘David, I die a rich man.’ Now, he didn’t mean rich in terms of money. All we talked about in that last month was family, friends, and neighbours, and the things that we did together.” “That was my father’s wealth. It was human relationships and human experiences. And that told me so clearly money and stuff are absolutely unimportant. When you come to the end of your life and you say what you’re proud of or what you’re pleased you did in your life, it isn’t about ‘I made a million bucks’ or ‘I bought a fancy SL car’: it’s about people.”

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Retirement Community

Call 250-478-4888 753 Station Avenue, Victoria www.hayworth.ca MAY 2013

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Planned Giving

Overcoming Obstacles BY KEVIN MCKAY

Tetra Society volunteer Harry Hardy.

Photo: Kevin McKay

espite the fact the Tetra Society of North America was founded in 1987 by a young man named Sam Sullivan who would later go on to become Mayor of Vancouver, most people have never heard of it. This is unfortunate as the purpose of the society is to help people who are having difficulties with everyday tasks by making these things possible. “I vividly remember the extreme frustration I felt when I first moved out on my own,” says Sam. “I had become a quadriplegic as a result of a skiing accident, which left me with limited use of my arms and no use of my fingers. “I was anxious to get work and get out of the standard predicament of publicly subsidized housing and a publicly subsidized attendant twice a day. But I couldn’t use the washroom, shower, cook on my own. I couldn’t even turn the doorknob to get out of my own apartment! I remember feeling quite lonely, wondering if I was the only one living this nightmare. It wasn’t long before I found that I was not alone; there were

many frustrated people struggling with things so basic that most people would never think twice about them.” So, Sam wrote a letter to the Association of Professional Engineers of BC asking them for assistance. Paul Cermak, a professional engineer, offered to help.

“To me, the man was nothing short of an angel – he worked more or less full-time for about six months solving so many vexing problems and helping me achieve the independence I was looking for.” In short order, the Tetra Development Society was born, enlisting vol��

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unteer engineers to help disabled and elderly clients solve problems with managing their day-to-day existence. Seventy-nine year old Dave Doman got involved from the beginning. He credits Sam Sullivan with starting the project and Paul Cermak for being the first volunteer. He also credits them with taking the next step. “Paul and Sam came up with the idea of putting an ad in the magazine of the Association of Professional Engineers and Geo-Scientists of BC looking for volunteers,” says Dave. “I was interested and went to all the early meetings, then stayed for a number of years until extra demands of my job forced me to drift away. When I retired 10 years ago… I got back in.” Tetra does not assign projects, and no one takes on more than they can handle. The clients first identify a need in their lives and then fill in a form that they submit to the Tetra office, either online or by mailing it in. The program coordinator brings all the requests to

the monthly meetings, where they are read out and discussed, with volunteers signing up to work on projects that appeal to them or that they feel they can help with. Chapters now exist across Canada and word has grown even further. “We even get requests from the United States from time to time, as well as from places all over the world,” says Dave. “We offer advice for these people, but do not get directly involved in their projects. We charge nothing for our time and are only reimbursed for out-of-pocket expenses for materials we need to buy.” When a volunteer has taken on a project, the next step is to meet with the client. “Once you have the details of the request you go and meet the client to see precisely what the problem is. You have to decide if there is something you can do to help them and then you get it done. Some projects are quite simple, while some are extraordinarily complex. But

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if you are able to solve the problem, the people are very grateful. I find it satisfying to be able to help people. It is good to feel useful and to know you are making life a little better for someone who is less fortunate.” One grateful client is Jack Tait who is 82. Jack found out about Tetra because he has been involved with both the Disability Foundation and the Disabled Sailing Association for quite a few years and their offices are located nearby. He has had a custom-made rack put on the back of one of his scooters and has had a portable ramp built for his middle-sized scooter and is currently having another one made for his large scooter. “It is a great thing that they do this for us,” says Jack. “We talk together about the projects and get things worked out. It usually takes a couple of months to get projects done and you are never sure how it is going to work out until they get started on it. They come back a couple of times trying things out until

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they get it right.” Sixty-seven-year old Maureen DeLandreville broke her neck in 1992 and has regularly relied on Tetra Society since then. “They are a hugely important organization and people need to know about them. In the disabled community, we hear about them through GF Strong and places like that but they are for everyone who needs their services.” The first project she had completed was to have a device built so she could attach her scooter to the family car. Once this was successfully done, she had an engineer devise a ramp that could help her get out onto her deck. She has a great deal of appreciation for the volunteers: “They are so creative and talented, lovely to work with and reliable. Watching these retired engineers work is like watching young children learn and experience the world. The first engineer who worked with me was a man named Harry Hardy, and he has done so many more projects for me over the years, including practically building a wheelchair from scratch to replace a British-built one I had and could not find parts for anymore.” Harry Hardy is a 91-year-old volunteer for the Tetra Society, who is still going strong. After working at MacMillan Bloedel until his 70th birthday, Harry took two years off until the fateful day when he had the radio tuned to the right station. “I was working in my garage and Sam Sullivan was on the radio talking about Tetra and asking for volunteers. I called the number they gave and went to the next meeting they held at GF Strong in 1994. I have been with them ever since. Right now, I am working on my 313th project for them.” The monthly meetings of the Tetra Society serve as the vehicle to get the individuals needing assistance together with the engineers who are willing to help. With at least 20 volunteers per meeting, including engineering students from UBC, there is usually plenty of help available for the various requests. “All of us old fellows are friends, and we are pleased to see some of the young people are starting to join us,” says Harry. “Some of the students like to come over and use my space because it is more sociable than working alone.” He also enjoys the social aspects of taking on the projects. “It turns out that working for disabled people is good therapy for the volunteer. I always spend some time with them and get to know them a little before finding out what the problem is. They are always eager to talk and to let you know what is bothering them. Once you have a satisfied client, it is very common to get asked to come back again for something else.” Thanks to volunteers like Harry Hardy and Dave Doman, SL obstacles are overcome and friendships are made. To contact the Tetra Society, call Pat Tweedie at 604-6886464, ext. 108 or toll free at 1-877-688-8762 or go to the website at tetrasociety.org. They are always eager to accept volunteers, even those who are not engineers.

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One generation plants the trees... another gets the shade

Consider a gift to Vancouver Foundation in your Will to plant the seeds of your legacy today. We will help it grow, for future generations to enjoy. Contact Kristin Helgason at 604.629.5186 Kristin.Helgason@vancouverfoundation.ca

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Planned Giving

Team Work for a Community’s Future

ynamic husband and wife team Gordon and Nina Benn work together to help ensure their community hospital will be able to well serve the needs of patients – now and in the future. Saanich Peninsula Hospital was built in 1978. “My mother and sister worked at the hospital,” says Gordon, “and Nina and I both had family members who passed away there.” Gordon is the current president of the hospital foundation’s board of directors, elected in 2012. He joined the foundation in 2006. Nina and Gordon’s passion for their family, community and their work is obvious in the way they talk about their life together. Nina was born in Copenhagen, Denmark and came to the Victoria area with her family when she was about a year

Photo: Donna Randall

BY CAROL DONNELLY

Gordon and Nina Benn share a passion for family, community and their work.

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old. Gordon was born in Sidney where his mother and grandmother were also born. The couple met in Victoria after Gordon finished law school at UBC. Nina went to work at Gordon’s law firm, in 1976, as his secretary. They later married and have two sons, aged 38 and 40, and four grandchildren. Over the years, the Benns have volunteered at the Saanich Peninsula Hospital, “our hospital” as they call it. Gordon played the piano for patients in the extended care unit in the early 1980s. The couple has helped raise funds to build two new operating rooms, and for the remodelling of the old operating room. During the 1980s and ’90s, there was talk of closing down the Saanich Hospital, but things turned around. Through fundraisers, annual campaigns, major gifts and planned giving, the hospital’s foundation has raised $25 million since 1985. Fifteen million was raised in the past 10 years alone. According to Gordon, the 15 members of the foundation’s Board of Directors represent a cross section of Vancouver Island people, and all contribute financially to the hospital. “The foundation is very proud of the fact that our overhead costs are kept low. We have two full-time employees and two part-time contractors. Only about eight per cent of donations go to overhead costs.” The Benns feel strongly about planned giving gifts through estate planning.

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“There are significant tax savings when you donate to charities this way, and you can still provide for family members in your Will through those savings,” they say. “Often, the charitable gifts from a Will are larger than someone would give during their lifetime.” Gordon and Nina have arranged for their own gift to the hospital’s foundation through their Wills. The couple have also been active contributors with other Vancouver Island organizations, such as the Royal Oak and the Sidney Rotary Clubs, the Victoria Symphony Society, the Victoria Symphony Foundation, and the Victoria Business Improvement Association. Gordon is a past president of both the Rotary Clubs and the Victoria Symphony Society. He currently sits as a Director of the Victoria Bar Association. Nina has supported and worked alongside him in all his endeavours. The Saanich Peninsula Hospital Foundation holds several fundraising

It’s our hospital.

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When a parent or spouse, close friend or relative has received exceptional care at the Saanich Peninsula Hospital, leaving a legacy gift helps ensure that staff can continue to provide the same outstanding level of care to other patients into the future. All donations, whether annual, monthly, periodically, or a legacy gift planned for in your will, are deeply appreciated.

For more information please call Karen Morgan at 250-652-7531

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events every year. Their 2012 Annual Golf Tournament raised about $50,000, and their 2012 Gala Dinner/Auction raised around $60,000. The foundation also holds Donor Appreciation Nights for major donors and for the Business Community on the Peninsula. “The role of our foundation is changing,” says Gordon. “Funding from the government is shrinking, and it’s important that we plan now to meet the needs of our hospital and the health care needs of our patients in the future.” Gordon and Nina feel the hospital’s foundation should plan for the future by funding “bricks and mortar,” not just medical equipment, as the need for more and better health facilities grows in the community. “We’d like to play a role in making our community a stronger, more welcoming place to live. We want to help the foundation keep the hospital a relSL evant, up-to-date place.”

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The Guardians’ Angel Planned Giving

BY LEANNE MCCONNACHIE

or many, companion animals are family members. There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for them. Unfortunately, when an unexpected injury or illness strikes our beloved pets, and treatment proves to be costly, some guardians are forced to make a terrible choice between their animal’s wellbeing and paying the rent. That is where June Humphreys, a volunteer with the Vancouver Humane Society (VHS), comes in. June is a retired medical laboratory technologist with a Bachelor of Science degree from UBC. She volunteers with several non-profit organizations benefitting both human and animalkind. She has been volunteering in cat rescue work for more than 20 years, and also helps seniors and others to access and keep subsidized housing, and assists them with completing complex applications for seniors’ benefits. June has been a volunteer member on the VHS Board of Directors for a number of years. Her most personally rewarding role with VHS is serving as the gatekeeper between hope and despair for many guardians whose animals need life-saving care. She does this through VHS’s McVitie Fund, which offers emergency veterinary assistance to animal guardians on low or fixed

Your Legacy

incomes. Recipients most often are elderly people, people on disability, or those who find themselves suddenly unemployed. The fund saves hundreds of animals each year and keeps them in their loving homes. “The stories we hear are so heartbreaking,” says June “and there are times when I just have to take a break, particularly when I know we are low on funds and I have to choose between who receives help and who doesn’t.” “We couldn’t do this work without June,” says VHS Executive Director Debra Probert. “The staff handles all the back-office work, like tracking and paying the bills, but June does the really hard work: hearing the stories, assessing need, coordinating with the veterinarians, overseeing the fund’s finances and, more often than we’d like, having to turn people away.” The McVitie Fund was named in memory of a little ginger cat named McVitie, who was rescued in Portugal and brought back to Canada by a VHS supporter. McVitie lived a long and happy life, but when he became ill, his guardian did everything he could to save him. After McVitie died, his guardian wanted to help other people who find themselves without the resources to

Is Her Future.

Since 1973, the Canadian Section of Amnesty International has promoted and protected human rights at home and abroad, through ongoing campaigning, outreach and education programs. By remembering Amnesty International in your will and estate planning, you will be helping to build a future where the fundamental dignity of every person is respected worldwide. For information and assistance, contact: Heather Warren, Gift Planning Associate (613) 744-7667 ext. 239 hwarren@amnesty.ca www.amnesty.ca/plannedgiving 1-800-AMNESTY Charitable Reg. No. 11878 5914 RR 0001

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Building a community of neighbours helping neighbours one client and one volunteer at a time since 1992. Call 250.595.8008 or visit www.saanichvolunteers.org to find out how you can help by donating, volunteering, or with a planned gift in your Will.

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help their beloved companions. Each year, the James A. and Donna-Mae Moore Foundation, through the Irene Joy Stewart and Florence Maud Shedden Endowment for Domestic and Wild Animal Welfare, issues a challenge grant whereby they will match other donors’ contributions up to a maximum of $20,000. The fund also pays for spay/neuter services in an effort to reduce the problem of pet overpopulation. “We are grateful for the funds we raise each year,” says Probert, “but sadly it is never enough. The need is great, particularly as the economy slows, and we find more and more individuals out of work. I can’t imagine what it is like for these guardians when we have to turn them down. For those who get the nod to proceed, it’s like a miracle.” ��

Photo: Peter Fricker

��

Take the case of Scooter, a handsome tabby boy who had just been to the vet to be neutered. The vet suggested he wear a cone until he healed, so he wouldn’t open the wound, but when Scooter got home, he was disoriented from the cone and fell off his scratching post. His family rushed him back to the vet, who diagnosed a dislocated hip. Because the family is on a severely limited income, there was no money to help their beloved cat, and with the three children in tears, they desperately called VHS for help. Scooter was successfully treated and is now back home and on the mend. His guardian had this to say: “My wife, myself, and our three kids give our thanks! We can’t thank you enough for helping to keep a beautiful animal alive and enjoying a full life. Thank you, Thank you, THANK YOU!” VHS has also assisted in some unusual requests. “Earlier this year, VHS was approached by a Good Samaritan asking us to help out with a dog who needed grooming,” says June. The dog in question was Chopper, who belongs to Bill, a man down on his luck and without the resources to pay for a long overdue grooming for Chopper. He and Chopper (pictured above) are a popular fixture at Waterfront station in downtown Vancouver, known to local busi-

Let your compassion live on. Help end the cycle of poverty and despair by supporting Our Place through a bequest. For more info contact Rhiannon Porcellato 919 Pandora Avenue Victoria, BC V8V 3P4 t: 250-388-7112 Ext. 258 ourplacesociety.com

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One good reason

to remember animals in your will Linus needed help and we were there. Help us help more animals like him.

Clip and send this coupon along with your name, address and phone number to the address below to receive a

FREE 4-PACK OF HOLIDAY GIFT CARDS! VANCOUVER HUMANE SOCIETY 303 - 8623 Granville Street Vancouver, B.C. V6P 5A2 p: 604.266.9744 www.vancouverhumanesociety.bc.ca 1083 VHS Seniors Magazine AD.indd 1

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nesses and watched over by friendly police. The caring person who contacted VHS had engaged Bill in conversation and, with his agreement, set in motion a plan that eventually involved the Aussie Pet Mobile grooming service, the Vancouver Police Department, Global Television and VHS. In addition to her co-ordinating efforts, she also brought Bill food (including his favourite: mashed potatoes). After nearly two hours of grooming, Chopper emerged a new dog, looking and, obviously, feeling great. Bill was over the moon to see his pal clean, clipped and happy. “This was certainly an exception,” says June. “VHS usually restricts funding help to animals in emergency medical need, but we were so impressed that one individual would take the time to befriend and help someone like Bill and his best friend Chopper, that we decided we had to help.” As it turns out, the generous people at Aussie Pet Mobile decided to make a substantial donation to VHS, so everyone came out ahead! Despite the challenges and emotional toll this work takes on June, she would have it no other way. “I love being able to say yes to a family who loves the special animal in their lives. My best advice for other seniors thinking about volunteering is SL choosing a need that you have a real passion for.” If you would like to donate to the VHS McVitie Fund, please call 604-266-9744 or donate online at www.vancouverhumanesociety.bc.ca

10/16/12 9:23:34 PM

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Look Closer… What do you see people, what do you see? Is it just an old woman when you look at me? Do you see that in my life, I gave with an open hand and heart? That I raised children, that I nursed, that I mattered and I taught? That I smiled, that I danced, that I cared and I laughed? Do you know I remember the heartaches and miss the joys of the past? Now my body often fails me and my mind can be weak, The ravages of time have me sometimes cranky, sometimes meek. But my wish is to tell you, to have you realize That all that I was, I am, I still matter – see it in my eyes See that what’s now important has only come to be That you look closer, look close and…

See Me. The Eldercare Foundation enhances the care, comfort, dignity and independence of hundreds of elderly residents living in care facilities and generally supports elderly persons living on Vancouver Island by funding community programs and education for seniors and their caregivers. Outdated equipment needs to be replaced, community programs that allow people to stay in their homes longer need to be funded and care facilities need to feel more like home. It will require just over one million dollars to fill these urgent needs alone. Funds to provide valuable education and research to improve the way the elderly are cared for are also urgently needed. Please consider donating today. Your legacy will help us enhance quality of life for our valued elders for generations to come.

1454 Hillside Ave., Victoria, BC V8T 2B7 250-370-5664 � www.gvef.org MAY 2013 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM SENIOR_LIVING_BC_MAY13.indd 19

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Estate Planning for Your Pet

BY DEE WALMSLEY

e come to an age when our thoughts turn to Wills, beneficiaries, care homes and all the goodies that come with winding down our journey here on earth – and so we should. But, while most of us seek assistance through financial planners, medical facilities and family, often little or no thought is given to the care of Rover or Kitty. Here are a few questions worth pondering and planning for: • You’ve sold your house and now you are ready to move into that beautiful new condo… is it pet friendly? • You find yourself unable to care for yourself 24/7 and are considering making the move into a care facility? Do they accept pets? • Is a family member willing or able to take in your pet should you have to enter a residential facility or, indeed, die? • Depending on the pet’s age is it kinder to have Rover euthanized rather than spending the rest of his life in a shelter? • Do animals that are removed from their homes and surrendered to shelters get adopted? If so, what is the normal length of stay of being caged before they find a new home? • Have you made financial arrangements for your pet’s needs, their food, shelter, and veterinary care? Animals have emotions. They feel pain, stress, and suffer from depression just like their human counterparts. If you are in the process of planning your estate, consider what will happen to them after you’re gone. Some organizations, for example the SPCA, have programs like “Leave a Legacy of Caring,” which includes 20 18

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making a will to ensure your wishes for your pet are carried out. Their Pet Survivor Care Program provides a basic, silver, gold and custom plan.

Basic plan You can rest assured knowing that in the event of your passing; the BC SPCA will take in, care for and find a loving new home for your animal companion. Silver, Gold and Custom plans Advanced plans provide even more extensive care during hospital stays, as well as designate a BC SPCA employee to regularly visit your animal friend in their new home. There are a number of organizations that care for cats and dogs, which can be found under Animal Shelters in the Yellow Pages. Before you make any decisions, take the time to visit some of these facilities, ask questions and check out references. Your pets’ future depends on the planning you impleSL ment now.

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Advance Care Decisions T

BY DOLORES BELL

he Oscar-winning film Amour depicted how the comfortable lives of Anne and Georges were irrevocably altered after Anne’s stroke. [Spoiler Alert] Her dismay at the loss of her independence and control, and even dignity, led her to refuse food and drink. She made it clear, even when she couldn’t speak, that she didn’t want to linger, only to have her grief-stricken husband overrule her wishes. This was a portrait of a couple who hadn’t had an important conversation – that of what each wanted for catastrophic or end-of-life care. A sudden illness or accident can take away your ability to express your wishes for care, or even the mental capacity to make those decisions, yet most of us avoid giving attention to what our final days might look like.

“You helped me live my life, not my disease.” “The centre staff helped me discover how to enjoy life again.” ��

Ask yourself what brings you joy, what’s important to you, and how you’d want your ﬁnal days to be. Freud claimed that “in the unconscious every one of us is convinced of his own immortality.” Out of this reluctance to face our mortality, or not knowing where to start, or through simple procrastination, the majority of us neglect to prepare a plan setting out our end-of-life preferences, and we risk leaving the burden of making important decisions about our care to others. Although we can’t alter the inevitable, nor predict how or when we’ll die, we have the right to decide what happens to us. Having an advance care plan in place will help ensure your wishes will be known and respected. Advance care planning ideally begins when you’re well, with personal reflection about your preferences for end-oflife care. Ask yourself what brings you joy, what’s important to you, and how you’d want your final days to be. Have frank discussions with your health care providers, your religious community, if you belong to one, and with your close friends and loved ones. Would you prefer to die at home, in a palliative facility or in hospital? Are there certain medical procedures that you’d want to avoid if your prognosis were grim? You could decide that you’d like everything possible done to prolong your

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��

In life, it’s your family that’s your true legacy. Once you have remembered your family in your Will, why not consider making a gift to Peace Arch Hospital and Community Health Foundation? Let your legacy provide for the vital medical services your family and community needs to live full, happy and healthy lives. To discover more about the many unique lifetime and long-term benefits of leaving a legacy gift to Peace Arch Hospital and Community Health Foundation, visit www.pahfoundation.ca or call 604-535-4520.

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Our ability to change the lives of women in our community depends on YOU!

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Campaign

Victoria Women In Need (WIN) is launching the 100 Women Campaign to fund our new Transformations and expanded Self Sufficiency Programs. Donate today to support us!

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life, no matter the situation, or you could choose to refuse any procedure or treatment that would delay your death from natural causes, instead opting for comfort care with the focus on relieving pain. Whatever your choice, it’s your right to determine your endof-life care. As long as you are able to express your wishes and are competent to do so, all such decisions remain yours. But what if there comes a time when you are unable to communicate them? Documenting your decisions about medical treatment in an Advance Directive makes sense. This document would be legally binding on your health care providers. No matter how carefully you prepare your Directive, there’s always the possibility of a situation occurring that you didn’t consider. By sharing this Directive with your loved ones, you may save them from agonizing over what to do about life support, hydration or tube feeding or, worse, from fighting over what you would have wanted. Unless you arrange otherwise, the responsibility for your care decisions would go to a Temporary Substitute Decision Maker (TSDM) as chosen by your health care provider from a prescribed list, which includes your family, or to the Public Guardian and Trustee of B.C. if nobody is on that list willing or able to act in that capacity. Or you can legally appoint someone to make decisions for you should you become unable to do so for yourself. In a Representation Agreement, this person becomes your

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Resources: www.gov.bc.ca/advancecare www.viha.ca/advance_care_planning www.victoriahospice.ca www.nidus.ca www.advancecareplanning.ca agent. A spouse, child or sibling are the most frequent choices, but your Representative can also be another family member or a friend. Your agent will be the one to whom you entrust the greatest responsibility – that of being your advocate and acting with your best interest in mind. Your Representative should be someone who knows you and your wishes very well; who will be available when needed (or who can be relieved by an alternate agent appointed by you); and be someone who remains calm in difficult situations. Since approximately 20 per cent of Boomers are childless, who will be named as agent becomes a difficult question in the absence of a partner or spouse. Whomever you appoint, it should be someone who is empathetic with your wishes. Your advocate must know that he or she needs to stand firmly for what you have decided you want. Keep a copy of your Advance Directive and Representation Agreement at home, and make sure to give copies to your RepSPEAKING FOR ANIMALS resentative, your closest family members, your doctor and to your lawyer. And it’s advisable to review these documents regularly to make sure they continue to reflect your wishes. You can complete an Advance Directive and Representation Agreement on your own with witnesses to your signature (see sidebar), or with legal help. These could form part of an endof-life package that includes your will, a Power of Attorney for your financial affairs and the documenting of your funeral wishes. You could also prepare an “expression of wishes,” setting out your preferences about final living arrangements, even incorporating your dress, diet and hygiene requests. What will you accomplish by going through this process? You’ll have greater Leave a legacy in your Will to Variety - The Children’s Charity peace of mind and can shift your attention and help children who have special needs in the province. Your to focusing on improving the quality of generosity will help us continue to provide hope, enrich lives, your life. You’ll lessen the strain on your and build a better future for children like Xander. family and caregivers, and you’ll minimize aggressive medical interventions in For more information on how to leave a legacy: your final days, if that is your wish. Call 604 320 0505 or Toll-free 1 800 310-KIDS (5437) You’ve tried to live well; advance care or visit our website at www.variety.bc.ca/legacy.htm planning is about trying to die well. SL

BCSPCA

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Farewell Friend

An Artist Never Dies

BY BOBBIE JO REID

hen I found out one of my columnists had terminal stomach cancer and would not see the end of this year the news hit me hard! I cried… The universe was playing a provocative game of pile-on, and it seemed I was somewhere near the bottom (felt like the third layer). I’d never met him in person; never laid eyes on him. It was through his work, his words, his stories and his memories that I got to know him. You learn a lot about a person who writes. Readers develop a relationship with writers, though it is often one-sided. But I get to know my writers before they are fully dressed and ready for the party. And while I try to maintain the integrity of their story, I add the hairspray and the bling. What the readers get is a polished version of the original. As the editor of Senior Living magazine, I’ve lost a few writers to death, over the years, and it always saddens me. This felt different. Gipp had been with the magazine since its inception – like me. He was there in the early days when I felt like I had no business being in this business; when I worked 18-hour days on a steep learning curve, fueled by a drive to get it right. I was telecommuting (before it was commonplace), learning

new computer programs and migrating to a fully digital platform; and Gipp was submitting handwritten columns, which he would photocopy and send via snail mail. His refusal to jump on the bandwagon of modern technology forced me to keep one foot grounded in a neo-luddite world. Sometimes, his column’s content would frustrate me. While I was trying to cheerlead a vibrant senior lifestyle with the limitless energy of someone who was on the ascent, he was heading back to base camp, and looking over his life with nostalgia and, sometimes, melancholy. When I received his last batch of columns, there was one he asked me to print after his death. I thought nothing of it; Gipp could be cheeky like that. I didn’t read it. I wanted to live in the present, and be grateful for it. It’s not always easy to do, but it’s worth the effort. I’m okay today. I’ve accepted that Gipp’s human experience has come to an end. He will live on in every one of us who has been touched and inspired (even frustrated) by his work, his words, his stories, and his life. And as small as my role has been, SL I’m happy I joined the party.

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Artist Proﬁle

BRUSHING OFF RETIREMENT

ith no art influence or interest in brush work other than painting his house, it is noteworthy that Richard Wong, retired since 2009, is today a recognized artist of his own style of Oriental Brush and watercolours. Richard chuckles as he explains his journey into the art world: “My first year of retirement was fun but, one day, I thought, ‘Now what?’ Jackie, my wife, asked me what I wanted for Oriental Brush and watercolour artist Christmas because, Richard Wong. by then, I was looking for something to do.” An impulsive thought popped into Richard’s mind and he replied, “Painting sounds good. Maybe a sketchpad or something painting related that’s not painting the house!” That Christmas, Richard received a beginner’s watercolour set and sketchbook, which he carefully set aside. Months later, he saw a notice for a beginner’s watercolour class and decided to attend. “For a landscape, I had sketched a small hut and had painted the hut red,” he recalls of his first efforts. “I didn’t know I had to wait until it’s dry before doing anything else. I picked up another colour for the background and the brush accidently touched the edge of the red hut. The hut disappeared!” Feeling foolish and frustrated, Richard almost quit but decided to persevere. He found he enjoyed the course and signed up for another term. The local newspaper ran an announcement on a “Chinese Brush Technique” workshop offered by Kileasa Wong, 26 24

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so Richard decided to give that a try too. Despite the vast differences in the techniques of Western watercolours and Oriental Brush painting, Richard found both to be fun and allowed his imagination to soar. “My backyard has feeders and lots of songbirds all year round,” he says of his inspiration. “It also backs on to a nature park, so we get the wildlife, such as raccoons and squirrels. Also walking, biking, hiking or gardening gives me more to observe.” Seeing inspiration everywhere, however, doesn’t necessarily mean you can immediately paint it. Richard explains, “I paint when I feel there is something that needs to be put on paper; something that compels me to paint. I can’t paint-on-demand. I’ve tried just painting something, but it never feels right if it’s forced.” Richard continued taking lessons and workshops in both Western watercolours and Chinese Brush painting. In Spring 2012, he saw an announcement for a workshop, “Watercolours on Masa Paper,” which piqued his curiosity. Googling “masa art,” he discovered only a handful of people, at that time, teaching this technique, and Comox’s Judi Pedder is one of them. With insufficient attendees, the workshop was cancelled. Undeterred, Richard contacted Judi to ask if she would be willing to do a workshop if he could get enough Chinese Brush students to sign up. Judi agreed. “I like to experiment, so I tried Western watercolours on Photo: Jackie Swan

BY JUDEE FONG

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Photo: Judee Fong

treated masa paper. I liked it. Masa paper is soaked in wa- Canadian artists to go to Japan for a possible exchange visit. “I didn’t know my name had been submitted as one of ter, then the water is squeezed out. It’s the squeezing process that breaks the two artists,” the paper fibres in says Richard. “It is random areas. The such an honour just paper is smoothed to be considered! out on a table, We are still waiting flipped over and a for confirmation on colour wash paintthis tentative exed on it. Wherchange visit.” Confessing that ever the fibres have broken, the retirement did take a bit of adjustment colour penetrates more and bleeds after working for so long, Richard through. When the paper dries, it’s says, “I felt I had lost my identity. turned back over leaving a mottled It’s almost funny because it was like background givgoing through puing the finished watercolour picberty with a teenSamples of Richard’s work are scattered on his at-home art studio table. ture a batik-like age identity crisis!” effect.” “Now, my new This past Christmas, Richard tried dry masa paper in identity is ‘artist.’ I love what I’ve accomplished so far with lieu of rice paper for his Oriental Brush paintings. “I had my art, exhibitions, workshops and the people I meet. I entime to experiment and played around with the Chinese joy teaching because I like to share what I’ve learned.” brushes, painting a series of miniatures, which was a lot Adventurous, confident and boldly trying new avenues, of fun to do.” Richard says, “with artwork, I find that not just one door In fall 2012, the Greater Victoria Community Art Coun- opens but many doors open at the same time. My advice is cil, where Richard is a board member, sponsored a Japanese to keep learning, be open-minded and always enjoy what SL Sumi Master with two of his handpicked students, to do you do.” workshops and appearances. Sumi-e art is a form of Japanese brush painting enRichard’s art can be seen at the Gallery in Oak Bay Viltrenched in the Zen Buddhism discipline. Originally, it used lage and Coast Collective Art Centre or on his website richonly the colour black with nuances of black sumi ink on rice ardwongwatercolors.ca Richard will be demonstrating his art as Artist-in-Resipaper or silk. Today, other colours can be incorporated in the sumi ink paintings. dence at Victoria’s Hotel Grand Pacific throughout May. To Just before the Sumi Master left, he asked for two names of reach him, email: wong2894@telus.net

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Local Personality

PORTRAYING A COMMUNITY

hen Nancy Wilmot accompanied her husband to his new job in Port Alberni in 1996, she did not envisage that the logging town, which, at the time was beset with strikes and lay-offs, would become a showcase for her journalistic talents. On arrival in Port Alberni, with husband, David, and two small children, Nancy saw a spark in the beleaguered town that would become a rewarding career and a portrait of the unique community that, in the face of adversity, refused to be beaten. “Seeing the hard times where jobs were in jeopardy or already gone, I found that some individuals had made a leap from their former forestry career to something else,” says Nancy. “The trouble had started in the Alberni Valley around 1997 when MacMillan Bloedel was the big employer. This colossal company was forced to make some drastic changes, which were devastating for many workers. Everywhere I went, I met mill people and noticed some had crested the wave of problems and had started their own business, or had retrained in another field, or had retired creatively.” Nancy felt she could be part of this positive attitude and had a concept for a program that could run on the local ShawTV channel. With her strong background in writing and motivational speaking, she approached Shaw with an idea for a regular halfhour show, profiling some of the individuals she had met. Shaw loved the proposal, and Nancy began to develop her idea. Later, however, it was decided that her program was too commercial with its emphasis on business, and would not meet the mandate for community programming. Undaunted, Nancy was by now hooked on ShawTV and, after a period of volunteering, she was offered a casual position that soon turned into her present permanent niche, which is Video Journalist for ShawTV with her specialty in profiling local residents. Born and raised in Manitoba, Nancy has lived in Nova Scotia ��

and other parts of BC, as well as California. In 1991, she had her first experience of the West Coast, locating to Meares Island with her husband, a clinical counsellor. On the West Coast, huge problems were being experienced in the forestry industry, which led to the “War of the Woods” in Clayoquot Sound. This was a forerunner of underlying and similar themes Nancy would encounter later in the Alberni Valley. After her studies at Brandon University and the University of Calgary, Nancy had a vague idea of what she wanted to do and this centred on writing. She thought writing a novel would be her ultimate goal. However, for several years, she was otherwise engaged in working various jobs whilst David finished his degree. Nancy attributes her success at Shaw to the skills she acquired in California in �� the 1980s when employed in retail man�� agement by a sportswear manufacturing �� company. The company grew exponen�� tially and Nancy was instrumental in �� organising and running successful work�� shops for retail staff and management. �� Her experience with this company was �� the inspiration for Nancy’s social responsibility and her belief that any employee �� can obtain excellence in their field, a phi��

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Port Alberni video journalist and volunteer Nancy Wilmot.

Photo: Darren Evans

BY MARGARET GROWCOTT

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losophy that remains with her today. Nancy has been with ShawTV for 15 years as an on-air producer of five-minute videos of local residents and says, “I love this job and the way it has developed from the original focus – people’s career paths.” This busy journalist says she is never in danger of running out of subjects to interview and profile on the ShawTV show, which runs daily and is called Go Island. “I bump into people at the supermarket, and then I happen to meet them in a different sphere, finding they have some remarkable accomplishment or attribute, which makes a great story.” In one instance, a story she was working on led to something else. “Shaw had asked me to do a video on Pot Luck Ceramics, a company that imports colourful and functional terracotta ceramics from Catalonia, Spain. The owner, Helma Swinkels, wanted to use her profits to fund the Alberni Valley Hospice, but was advised that profits from a business cannot be put into a charity. Helma

found, however, that by forming another company, the Port Alberni Fundraising Co-op, she could legally put the pottery profits into that company, which in turn funds the Hospice, Ty Watson House.” After doing this profile on the successful pottery importing business that turns all its profits into community fundraising, Nancy became so intrigued, she became a volunteer. She then went one step further and is now on the Board of Directors of Pot Luck Ceramics. Nancy is proud that it is the first Profitfor-Non-Profit Co-op in Canada, ensuring that Ty Watson House, the Alberni Valley Hospice, which is the only “stand-alone” hospice on Vancouver Island, receives the necessary funds. The Hospice Society owns the building and Vancouver Island Health Authority (VIHA) pays for medical staff and supplies. “I am privileged to tell community stories,” says Nancy. “I have a neverending list of interesting people to profile on my videos for Shaw; people who are passionate about fishing, logging,

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history, art, hockey and a multitude of other subjects. There is so much of interest in the Alberni Valley: the McLean Mill, which is a National Historic site; the Alberni Pacific Railway with its popular steam train; the Alberni Valley Bulldogs, a BCHL Junior “A” hockey team; and the Lady Rose Marine sailings to Barkley Sound. My job is to highlight the people who have made these things happen. The richness and culture of the area and its people are truly amazing.” When not busy with ShawTV, Nancy loves to spend time with her husband on their sailboat, exploring the waters from the Alberni Inlet to the Broken Group Islands. And with her youngest daughter graduating from high school this year, Nancy will be facing a new phase in her life – the empty nest. Maybe this will be the opportunity to get back to work on her novel. However, there is the danger it may be put off indefinitely as Nancy will likely continue to produce her Shaw videos long after she is SL supposed to be officially retired.

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Author Proﬁle

DREAMER OF DREAMS, TELLER OF TALES: A Lesson in Perseverance

BY ROSEMARIE HURST

nspired by Jane Austen, children’s author Darlene Foster began her love of writing at a young age. An employment counsellor, ESL tutor, wife, mother and grandmother, she was brought up on a ranch near Medicine Hat, Alberta, the eldest daughter with three brothers. She dreamt of travelling the world and meeting new and interesting people. “I was a Jane Austen fan, and dressed up as her for Halloween sometimes,” recalls Darlene. “Jane had trouble getting her book published, but she persevered.” And so did Darlene! She has been writing all her life. Not having a television in the home as a child allowed Darlene’s imagination to run wild. When she was 12, she wrote a story called “Stretch Your Food Dollar,” which was a humorous little piece that was published in the Winnipeg Free Press. It was written under a nom de plume, Shirley Dale. Dale was Darlene’s middle name as her parents loved Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. Shirley was after her Grade 3 teacher, Shirley Roll Tucker who was an inspiration to her and motivated her to follow her dreams,

to travel the world, and to write. Darlene reconnected with her recently through social media, and then emailed her. They met each other in person two years ago at Word on the Street in Vancouver, which was a special experience. “The lesson here is to always thank the people who’ve helped you along the way because you cannot make it alone,” she says. As Darlene enjoys young people so much, she thought about writing children’s books for quite some time. She travelled to the United Arab Emirates to visit a friend, and decided to write about her trip, but from the perspective of a 12 year old. When she’s in that 12-year-old mindset, she asks herself, “Is this what a 12 year old would say or what an adult would say?” Then she adds adventure and interesting characters. When she began her writing career, she set out to write a book in three years. She wrote one chapter a month, one hour a day. By breaking it down into doable chunks, it wasn’t as much of a daunting task. Remember, this was a woman who had numerous excuses not to have time to write: work, family, volunteering, etc. At the end of the three years, her first children’s novel

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Amanda in Arabia – The Perfume Flask was completed. Next, the challenge was to get it published, which took five more years! In the meantime, Darlene continued to write, and completed her second book Amanda in Spain – The Girl in the Painting while seeking out publishers. Now, Darlene has three books published, the latest one just released, Amanda in England – The Missing Novel. She is presently working on her fourth in the series, Amanda in Alberta – The Writing on the Stone. “It’s never too late, and you can never be too busy to make your dream of writing come true. Just do it little by little and take baby steps because if you think about the big picture, it’s overwhelming.”

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Children’s author Darlene Foster.

Rodney Malham

One of the highlights of her life was when her 10-yearold grandson was in Grade 4, and Darlene did a reading of her first two books. “It was really cute because I got to the school’s library and there were two Grade 4 classes in there and Jesse, my grandson, introduced me. He stood up and said, ‘Today I would like you meet our guest speaker. She’s an author and has written two children’s books and she’s just about finished the third one. Her name is Darlene Foster and she is my Grandma.’” Everyone got to hold Ali Baba, a puppet Darlene uses to enhance her book presentations. There is also Rupert, the cat, and Pedro, the dancing pony. She never dreamt that one day she would be reading her books at her grandson’s school in Alberta. Darlene sent out her book to over 30 publishers and kept all her rejection letters in order to revise and improve her work.

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She was about to give up until she met her publisher by accident. Her books were originally e-published and she was very happy with that as she didn’t worry about whether kids were reading them on a computer or iPad, as long as they were being read. That was over three years ago when e-publishing was about to take off, and right after that her publisher asked her if she would like to be print published. Darlene doesn’t make her books too time sensitive because she wants people to read her novels for many years. She gets ideas while she writes and never knows the ending. She says her characters just show up. For example, Rupert the cat came running out from behind a tree in Amanda in England. She says, “It’s a bit of a mystery who the good person is and who the bad person is in the story.” She journals a lot when she’s travelling and takes many pictures, which helps with the writing process and sparks memories. Darlene has won many awards. Her short story “The Day Dief Came to Town” was chosen to be included in the anthology Country Roads, Memoirs from Rural Canada. The other authors included in the anthology were Pamela Wallin, Sharon Butala, George Fox, Brent Sutter, Rudy Wiebe and Roch Carrier. “I felt honoured to be in such great company,” she says. “What we all had in common was that we had been brought up in rural Canada.” Amazingly, Darlene received her anthology books the same day she received her own first published book. She’s also recently had an article published on travelthruhistory.com about a time when she visited Jane Austen’s house in Chawton, Hampshire, England. Another of her dreams had come true. Her interesting blog – darlenefoster. wordpress.com – has numerous followers whereby she can do a lot of networking with other readers and writers. You can also find her on Facebook and at her SL website www.darlenefoster.ca

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NEWS BRIEF

Denman Home and Garden Tour BY MAX ROGERS

Photo: Autum n White

enman Island is a senior’s paradise. Located just south of the town of Courtenay, Denman is a rural jewel in the sea. Here, mere girls in their sixties and seventies, garden like mad and create visions of paradise. The Denman Home and Garden Tour, June 15 and 16, allows you to enjoy artistic West Coast style homes, wonderful flower gardens, lush vegetable gardens and, this year, a working farm. New on the tour, after years of nagging her, is Selinda White’s garden; a must see. Year after year, White takes a fist full of blue ribbons at the Fall Fair for her produce. Old on the tour, and a great treat, is the home of noted garden writer Des Kennedy and his wife Sandy, who together created a world-class flowering garden. The Horovatin-Barker farm comprises vineyards, beef cattle and free-range pigs. In all, 11 homes and gardens are on display. This senior-driven event, the twentieth, raises money for the Denman Conservancy Association. The money buys land for the preservation of unique flora and fauna and sites of cultural value. It is also a hugely fun event. Pick up a ticket and map at the Community Centre in downtown Denman, just above the ferry hill. You can also book tickets online by Googling the Denman Home and Garden Tour. Tickets are $18 for the whole tour or $5 for a single location. You will need a car or, at least, a bicycle as the venues are too far apart to walk. S p e c i a l lunches and tea and cake will be available in the Seniors’ Centre in the village to refresh you after you have explored all sorts of lavish gardens you would never otherwise get a chance to see. Husbands be warned, this will lead to projects at home! SL

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“Good food, good company and a fabulous tour guide!” - Mary (Surrey)

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Footloose and fancy free… Let Berwick handle the day-to-day tasks with our top notch professional chefs to prepare your meals, our efﬁcient housekeepers to tidy up and our friendly staff organizing recreation activities and outings. Be as connected and social as you desire. Enjoy a movie in our theatre, health and wellness classes, or a game of cards with some of your friends. Visit a Berwick near you and discover how engaging retirement can be.

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Vieja Espana

Travel & Adventure

nitially, I had some trepidation about this trip or at least a nagging unease. Could I keep up with a group of young women 13-26 years of age, and their frenzied schedule? Nearly a sexagenarian, I had to wonder if I was being daring or irrational. My shaving mirror reflects a middleaged man… or at least it does in a dim light. So, I instruct my mirror image to suck it up; call upon a little psychological mumbo jumbo; and repeat several times: “60 is the new 40.” July is synonymous with summer heat. In combination with my MS and excess exertion, it can bring on an unwelcome condition. But, not one to use my age or “disability” as an excuse, I pack my medication, slip on my walking shoes and Drovers hat, and I’m

BY CHRIS HERBERT

on my way to the Beltaine Festival in Aviles, Spain with dancers, an accompanying musician, and their teacher – my partner Sandra. Before we left home, I found little information on Aviles, despite my searches. What I did discover is that it can be more problematic to travel to this part of Spain than to Barcelona or Madrid. A prominent Avilesino declared, “Asturias is the real Spain.” Willing to take him at his word, we decide the added effort would be worthwhile and set out to experience Vieja Espana [Old Spain]. Oh ya, he also confided that in Asturias “news doesn’t travel.” That, along with its location, may explain why it’s so challenging to unearth much about Aviles. Fortunately for us, we had Juan Car-

Old-world charm.

los as our contact in Aviles. Unfortunately for us, he only speaks Spanish and, sadly, we speak muy pobre Espanol. Juan, the festival talent co-ordina-

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LEGION MANOR VICTORIA ��

A Great Place to Call Home ��

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tor, was the one who invited Sandra and The Inverglen Scottish Dancers – the first Canadian performers to be invited to the annual Beltaine Festival. The Principality of Asturias is so called because the heir to the Spanish throne is known as the Prince of Asturia. Legend says that the long Celtic history originated in the 11th century with the arrival of San Balandran on Spain’s northern coast. Bagpipes in Asturia are called gaitas, their players Gaiteras. They are usually accompanied by tamboril (snare drum) and requinta (fife) as well as folk dancers. As I mentioned, Aviles is not on many tourist maps. After a 16-hour trip and two flight transfers along the way, we arrived at the airport in Oveido by way of an Air France regional flight, so were pleased to see Juan Carlos waiting to transport the 11 of us, our luggage, the dancer’s outfits and equipment the last 10km to our destination. Asturias is an unblemished part of Spain. Because much of the principality is mountainous, it has long been popular with hikers. Happily, the area in and around Aviles is walker-friendly. I was also relieved to find that the climate in this part of Spain is similar to Canada’s west coast. While Sandra and the girl’s rehearse for opening night on the main stage, I head off to explore the old town, confident that I can handle the cobble stone streets and the mid-day temperatures of 25C. I enter the once walled city at Plaza de Espana and step back in time. From in front of the Marquis de Ferrara Palace, I have a full 360-degree view of the ancient plaza. The streets like the spokes of a wheel run off in all directions. I quickly realize that no matter which direction I choose, I won’t be disappointed. This day, I choose Palle de La Ferreria. If the Plaza de Espana is a step back to an earlier time, Palle de La Ferreria is a voyage back in a time machine and possibly the best example of life hundreds of years ago in this medieval city. On the north end of the Palle is Parque del Muelle the site of Beltaine Festival’s main stage. For the next 10 days, the Inverglen Scottish Dancers and performers from Scotland, England, France and Asturia will perform in front of large appreciative crowds. The Beltaine Festival is unfamiliar to people outside this region and just across Ria de Aviles is an even bigger secret, Centro Niemeyer. Brazilian architect Oscar Neimeyer calls Aviles’ international cultural complex an open square to the humankind. Too quickly, my first full day in Aviles flies by, and it’s time for me to meet up with Sandra and the dancers. Before performing on the main stage tonight they will parade in the old town. But first, I decide to stop at La Villa-Arga in Plaza Domingo Alvarez Acebal. Maria Jose, the villa’s owner, appears with a potato tortilla and a glass of local beer. They quickly become seistatime favourites. Later that evening, we will try Sidra or fortified apple cider. Siderias traditionally serve the sidra from a kupela (barrel) but, in a café, it’s more likely to be bottled. To ensure the sidra is aerated, the server holds the bottle well

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above her head as she fills a glass held at waist height. Proper etiquette calls for you to empty your glass, no sipping please. Feel free to splash the dregs on the ground. Salud! I’m pleased to say it was easy to manage the cobble streets and gentle hills of Aviles. I took my time, made sure to

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Inverglen Dancers perform in Plaza de Espana.

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have comfortable shoes and, of course, took full advantage of siesta time and all it offers. Whether spending our spare moments exploring Aviles, on a day-trip to the sandy beaches along Plaza de San Lorenzo in Gijon, or to the neighbouring medieval village of Callazuela, the area’s beauty abounds and the people make us feel welcome.

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Photos: Chris Herbert

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A server pours a glass of Sidra.

The mountainous terrain Asturia has allowed the principality to maintain some autonomy, but that can also mean exclusion from a modern Spanish society. Perhaps not a bad thing as Aviles is truly Vieja Espana. It’s a hidden gem. Its beauty, people and traditions are SL waiting for you to discover. For IF YOU GO information, visit www.seniorlivingmag.com/avilesspain

�� by Gipp Forster A collection of Gipp’s humorous and nostalgic columns. A wonderful read for yourself, and Reflections, �� a thoughtful gift and Other Breakfast Foods for friends and family members.

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“Reflections” MAIL-IN ORDER FORM

Senior Living 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1

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Fit for the Adventure

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BY EVE LEES

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Plan Now for a Quality Lifestyle

he Heart and Stroke Foundation reports many Canadians spend their last 10 years in poor health. It’s important to make lifestyle changes as soon as possible: Preferably NOW. Taking responsibility for your own health allows you to continue leading a productive life. 1. Start or continue an active lifestyle. For the novice exerciser, this can involve merely walking more each day �� and doing a few minutes of calisthenics �� and stretches. For the veteran exerciser, �� now is the time to stop your high-inten�� sity exercise sessions. Killing yourself at each workout will actually age you faster, and slows the efficiency of your immune system. Change your pace to a �� more moderate, enjoyable one. �� SPECIAL HO 2. Eat sensibly and healthfully to mainUSING ED ITION �� tain or improve your health. Your food �� choices should be as unprocessed and un�� changed by humans as possible. Whole, �� natural foods contain everything nature �� provides to keep our bodies functioning �� efficiently. Check that your diet offers the �� nutrients most commonly needed as we �� age: Folic acid is rich in fruits, veggies, �� and beans; Vitamin B12 is in all meats, �� dairy and seafood; vegetable oils, nuts �� and seeds are rich in Vitamin E; Vitamin �� D is in milk, fish, fortified cereals, and exposure to the sun; dairy products, several �� green leafy vegetables, the bones of fish, �� and legumes are rich in Calcium. �� 3. Ignore stereotypes about aging. Just �� because you’re getting older doesn’t mean �� you are starting to decline physically and ��

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mentally. Avoid those who treat you as though you are. And if you can’t avoid them (a close family member, perhaps?), talk with them to express your discomfort with their treatment of you. 4. Socialize. Engaging with others helps avoid depression and feeling isolated. Being in the company of friends encourages feelings of happiness and optimism. Consider volunteering to meet more friends. 5. Keep learning. Challenge your mind so it continues to grow and develop. Learn to play the guitar, learn a new language, or join a chess club. 6. Stop any bad habits. Avoid drinking alcohol to excess. If you smoke, make an extreme effort to stop. Confirm that you really do need those over-thecounter medications. 7. Forgive and forget. Make amends with those whom you have crossed and those who have crossed you. Holding onto anger will ruin your good health. 8. Avoid buying “youth-enhancing” products that sound too good to be true. Our general fear of aging is exploited by clever marketers, so do your research. Aging is not a disease. You do not need to be “fixed” because nothing is broken; it’s natural to age. Do it proudly! SL Eve Lees was a Personal Trainer and Nutrition Counsellor for 30 years. Currently she is a Freelance Health Writer and Speaker. www.artnews-healthnews.com

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Photo: Jason van der Valk

ASK Goldie

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SIDNEY All Care Residence ��

BY GOLDIE CARLOW, M.ED

Dear Goldie: I have a dilemma and hope you can help me. Several months ago, I became ill and was confined to home for a few weeks. During that time, a gentleman whom I have known for about three years was very kind to call on me and bring flowers. We were only casual friends, but now that I am better, he continues to call regularly. I am very grateful for his kindness, but I do not want a permanent relationship. How can I handle this? –R.G. Dear R.G.: This is a difficult situation but one you need to deal with as soon as possible to prevent further misunderstanding. Give some thought about his kindness then make an appointment to discuss the situation with him. Just be firm in your conversation that while he can be a friend, you do not want a closer relationship. As social beings, friendships are necessary in our lives, but it is also important not to confuse them with love and intimacy. Dear Goldie: I am a senior still able to live independently without problems. My letter is prompted by my overanxious family, who seem to be hovering over me constantly. I was ill about a year ago with pneumonia, but my doctor says I have fully recovered. While I love my family dearly, I do not want all this attention. How can I handle this without hurting their feelings? –L.C. Dear L.C.: You are very fortunate to have such a loving family. However, I can understand that you feel they are too concerned about your health. It sounds like they are not taking your message of good health seriously, so ask your doctor to provide a note stating your health is satisfactory. Meanwhile, count your blessings. Many seniors would love to SL be in your shoes! Goldie Carlow is a retired registered nurse, clinical counsellor and senior peer counselling trainer. Send letters to Senior Living, Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria, BC V8T 2C1. Senior Peer Counselling Centres – Island

Senior Peer Counselling Centres – Mainland

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Imagine how your legacy can shape the future. Imagine unlocking potential in generations to come. For 50 years University of Victoria students have made a positive impact on their communities and the world. From discovering new ways to fight diseases, to creating art that moves generations, to inventing new businesses that employ thousands of people, UVic students can achieve change. And they have you to thank for making it possible. Your gift. Your legacy. A planned gift to UVic can open a world of possibilities for future generations. Contact Cheryl to start the conversation about creating a lasting legacy in your will or estate plan.

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Cheryl Hebb | 250-472-4516 | chebb@uvic.ca

MAY 2013

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COURAGEOUS and OUTRAGEOUS

Photo: Frances Litman

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BY PAT NICHOL

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LET’S DANCE!

The time also helps energize and stimulate muscle relaxation with increased joy of movement. Each week, the dance movements and exercises are process. Many of us danced through our gradually more challenging. All moveteens, our twenties, and right on up ments are designed for flexibility, and to recently. If you were at the Senior stretch muscles while working on different parts of the Living Expo in body. March in Victoria, As the lessons you watched the “To dance is to be out of progress – usually Victoria Ballroom yourself. Larger, more about six weeks Dance Society muscle memory perform elegantly. beautiful, more powerful. –comes back and There were also participants find brave souls that This is power, it is glory feelgot up and booon earth and it is yours for themselves ing more configied to some of the dent about moveother bands that the taking.” ment in many entertained us. ~Agnes de Mille areas of their But what haplives. It also conpens when we can’t trip the light fantastic or boogie tributes to social interaction and brings till we drop? We stop dancing. Our people out of their shells. Not to mentoes tap, our fingers snap, our hearts tion that it can lower blood pressure, still want to be dancing, but our bodies reduce stress, and it works if you have just won’t move as smoothly around had foot surgery and want to keep acthe dance floor any more. What to do? tive. In Victoria, there are sessions at I recently learned of an exercise called Chair Dance. It is a simple and Monterey Centre in Oak Bay, led by gentle type of exercise done to music Katrina. Contact your local seniors that is familiar to our generation; mu- centre to see if they are offering them sic from the big band era, jazz – the there too. So, it is time to dance again – even kind of music we danced to when we SL were young. The exercises are devoted if you’re sitting down! to creating a greater sense of balance and wellbeing. Sessions are approximately 45 minutes long and provide participants an Pat Nichol is a speaker and published opportunity for creative expression. author. www.patnichol.com ancing, more than any other form of exercise has been found to delay the aging

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CARING FOR A LOVED ONE WITH DEMENTIA? You are not alone. Free educational workshops on dementia and Alzheimer’s. Next session May 9th and 16th, 2 - 4:30pm. Contact Home Instead Senior Care to reserve your spot: 250-382-6565 or victoria@homeinstead.ca DEBI’S MOBILE HAIR SERVICES in the comfort of your home for everyone in your family. Serving the Victoria area. Please call Debi at 250-477-7505.

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FOREVER BY WILLIAM THOMAS

And So I’m On This Drug Prednisone And... …and so I’m on this drug prednisone and one side effect is repeating yourself due to really short-term memory… Lane? Memory lane? Loss? Long-term hearing loss? Where the hell was I? Six months ago, after completing a 14-day walk across northern England from the Irish Sea to the North Sea, I thought I might be one of the fittest seniors around. On February 1st, I struggled to get out of bed. Every joint and muscle in my body ached. I screamed out loud when I moved my neck. It took me minutes to extract myself from the chair at my desk and, when I did manage to shuffle to the end of the driveway, I had to flip the morning paper on end with my feet in order to bend, bend, bend and finally pick it up. So much for physical fitness. I had been gradually getting my head around the aging process, but I was unprepared to go from 65 to 90 in a single morn-

ing. After three months of x-rays and blood tests, I was getting worse. My left arm looked like it belonged to a heroin addict and I had so many x-rays I became worried about all the radiation I was being exposed to. “No, no, it’s like the equivalent of a day in the sun without any protection,” said the technician as she hit the button and then ran and hid behind a lead wall. Last Thursday, I found myself shuffling into the examination room of Dr. Abraham Chaiton, an internal medicine specialist and expert in rheumatology. In short order, it was answer the questions, take your clothes off, lie down and put your feet up. I needed help with everything but the answers. With gel and a hand-held camera we looked at the inner workings of my right foot on a screen above the ultrasound cart. “Feet are fine,” he said and that was that. I did not have the dreaded

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rheumatoid arthritis, which starts there and moves on up the body. I have polymyalgia, which is both treatable and curable. Music to my inflamed ears: polymyalgia – a sweet-sounding disease, like the name of an Asian flower. The simple treatment is prednisone, both a wonder drug and a nasty steroid. I began to explain to Dr. Chaiton my distain for any drug stronger than a multivitamin when he looked at me over his wire-rim glasses, “the look” that said I could can the Myo-Med cream, jettison the tart cherry juice, crush the ice, heave the heating pad and get real serious, soon. Not only was I losing the battle of the steroid, I knew at that moment if I really upset this guy there was no way he was going to validate my parking ticket. “I’m with you Doc,” I said. Two of a hundred side effects are weight gain and water retention. At my high dosage, by the end of May, I will look like the last photo taken of Jerry Lewis. By June, I’ll be so fat, I’ll have to drive my car from the back seat because I won’t be able to fit in the front. The good news is I have now qualified for the men’s 100-metre sprint at the next Olympics. The bad news is if I win, I’ll probably have to give the medal back, if you know what I mean. Also, after taking the first high hit of prednisone, I noticed I was becoming a bit chatty as I walked through the produce section of the grocery store waving the bottle of pills around and asking people: “Have you tried this stuff!? Seriously, pop a handful of these things and watch what happens!” I got into my car at the clinic by resting my bum on the edge of the seat, turning slowly and then lifting my right leg in with both hands, same two-handed lift with the left leg and then painfully reaching out slowly to pull the door shut. Every day since then and the prednisone, I have walked for 90 minutes on a very hilly golf course and then stepped into the shower without holding onto the curtain rod. Honestly, I had no idea we had drugs this powerful. Dr. Chaiton was dead right. I would be dancing by Saturday night. Unfortunately, due to the reality separation effect, I was arrested while dancing naked in a public fountain with the bronze statue of Laura Secord. The police were not amused. When asked to explain myself I told them the absolute truth – “You get rid of the shawl, the rucksack and that long peasant dress and you got yourself a fine lookin’ woman there.” Fortunately, I had the prednisone pills with me and after taking just six, I was able to break out of my cell with my bare hands. Crankiness? Anger flare-ups for no apparent reason? I tell you all this now because if we meet on the street and you so much as look at me sideways, I swear I will hold my breath until I turn blue and wet myself at the same time. Actually, I’m just kidding because according to the manual, turning blue and peeing your pants are common side effects, but rarely occur simultaneously. I’m also a little delusional. I keep hearing a voice in the back of my head that says: “Run Forrest, run!” SL Gotta go! William Thomas is the author of nine books of humour including Never Hitchhike on the Road Less Travelled. For comments or ideas or to purchase books, visit www.williamthomas.ca

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believe every relationship has a song that becomes a meaningful bond of the friendship shared. Mine and Gipp’s was The Hollies’ “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother.” Listening to it on my Sony Walkman one day, when we first met, tears rolling down my cheeks, Gipp asked, “What are you listening to?” After telling him the title, he said with a big smile, “I love that song.” Little did I know, at the time, he would become my friend and brother – one that everyone deserves to have in their life. I was a young man then, filled with ideals and a deep desire to help those in need. It was 25 years ago that I moved to Victoria to take on a trainee position at the Mustard Seed. My job was to shadow Gipp and learn the work of caring and sharing with those people that were mostly overlooked in society. I learned a lot. Gipp showed me how to forgive when there was no reason to. (After all, I was right; they were wrong!) He showed me the healing power of laughter, especially laughing at yourself. Gipp was the one who taught me the difference between a hug and being held. The difference is about five minutes or so. All of us in the Senior Living family will miss the jolly spirit of a man that wasn’t afraid to give without the thought of how much; to bring love in the form of a warm coat or some food when no one else seemed to notice. He stood in his community, the streets of Victoria, with his arms stretched out, saying, “These people aren’t heavy, they’re my sisters, they’re my brothers.”

It was our pleasure to give Gipp the platform in the magazine to inspire, to share, and to laugh with all of you. He was a true storyteller; he could spin a yarn and have you on the edge of your seat, leading you with a smile into laughter that would draw tears at times. He was all of our voices when we couldn’t find the words; sometimes expressing thoughts that we all wanted to, but held back out of fear. So now the question remains, who is going to pick up the pen that Gipp left on our table? Now is the time to tell Gipp’s family and friends how he touched your life – it may be your story, or the story of a good friend. Gipp was one who personified the saying “We all can do what I cannot do alone.” Each one of us has at least one story in us to tell. All of us can say a kind word to the ones we love. Now is that time. Join me in this planned giving issue, in the spirit of caring and sharing, and let your voice be heard. It is time to start a new revolution, a trend most of us older folks understand, a time of meeting “face to face… leave the (Face)book at home,” the cell phone as well. It is time to reach out and touch those in your life who need a hug, or need to be held. Rest in peace, my friend. It’s been a hoot, a privilege, and a joy. The spirit of Christmas lives on... as does your spirit in those whose lives you’ve touched. With all my love, Your most dedicated elf, Barry Risto

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Reﬂections THEN & NOW

ut seriously folks…. I won’t say when I first wrote this particular column. It could have been last week or last month or last year. It’s a posthumous column – in reserve for the time just after God tells me it’s getting dark and it’s time to come in. I write these columns well in advance of their publication dates. I’ve asked Barbara and Barry Risto, the publishers of Senior Living magazine, to continue printing those I’ve written in advance even after I’ve graduated (thanks Rob) into a far better country. Well, if this is being printed then, obviously, I am now playing tag with angels in God’s magnificent garden. I know this because I have known Him in whom I have believed. I found growing old and older far more exciting and adventuresome than being young and younger. It’s a challenging thing to come to the realization of years, to know you don’t have to challenge everything that comes along. I guess that’s because basically everything “has” come along and you know the outcome. It’s a relaxing thing to no longer have to bother. Like getting off a fast-moving carousel – knowing you don’t have to get back on. I found within the accumulation of years a certain serenity – a quiet acknowledgement – a proper attitude and behavioral pattern for when the gatekeeper calls. It’s kind of like “Relax and wait. You ain’t seen nothing yet!” It’s been a good run – seventy-odd years to kick the can, and to finally come to the realization that the more I learned, the less I knew. The older I became, the younger I was. The wealth I accumulated was staggering! Not in bonds or investments or silver or gold, but in experience, in both good and bad times, in children and step44 46

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children, in grandkids and stepgrandkids, in special friends and worthwhile adversaries. It was through them that I was made BY aware of my many flaws and errors in judgment. It was through them that I was eligible for forgiveness, and the blessings of having the opportunity to forgive. There has been pain – physical, mental and spiritual – but how can one learn the power of healing without pain? There has been joy along with sorrow, laughter blended with tears, giggles mixed with groans, wonder along with discovery. Oh indeed! It’s been grand this earthly race, this course allotted me. Not always happy, but certainly never dull. It wasn’t easy to believe in the sun when it wasn’t shining. Not easy to keep going when tragedy became ruler of the moment; and I thought the moment was here forever and would never end. But we meet the challenge and press on because there’s nothing else we can do. The healing or partial healing comes even though the scar remains. That, I believe, is the main challenge of our sojourn on this planet – to keep going when we don’t think we can. Sooner or later, the sun comes up again and that sunrise causes hope to flourish and promise to gain a new foothold. Well, enough of that! It wasn’t my intent to philosophize. I simply wanted to say that it’s been a privilege to write this column – mostly tongue in cheek – and I’m grateful Senior Living magazine found a slot to fit me in. It’s been a hoot! To cause a giggle or a grin, a smile, a chuckle, or a time to contemplate something is a fine reward for a quiet endeavour. To share a thought, hold tight to a promise, to tickle the funny bone of something illogical, or to dare the mind to venture past reality causes a person perhaps

Photo: Krystle Wiseman

POSTHUMOUSLY GIPP FORSTER

to step outside of self. At least for me! To know that it is imperative to always take God seriously, but not to take myself too seriously. Not to think, however, that God does not have a sense of humour. He does! I mean, after all, he created us. Anyway… It was time to hang up the wonder for a reality, the questions for answers… the pen and the paper for the true and everlasting song. To lay down the burden of time. To run and not grow weary. To walk and not faint. To be free and unencumbered. Oh, indeed, I was blessed with so many good friends and acquaintances. An understanding family, a patient wife, children and grandchildren that always remained children to me. So, thanks one and all for the encouragement, the support and the understanding for a pilgrim on his way to another city. Like you, I was only a visitor here. A tiny segment of time to say my hello and goodbye. And now it’s done. The only way I can think to close this is with the words of a fictitious little character that was a part of an enchanting story. His name was Tim… Tiny Tim. He said: “And so do I… God bless SL us everyone!” To comment or send a message to Gipp’s family, visit www.seniorlivingmag.com and comment below his column online or email gipp@seniorlivingmag.com or mail a letter to Senior Living, 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria, BC V8T 2C1. To order Gipp’s book, Reﬂections, Rejections and Other Breakfast Foods, see order form on page 35.

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