Senior Living Magazine Vancouver Edition December 2011 by INSPIRED 55+ Lifestyle Magazine

Meet B.C.’s Lieutenant Governor DECEMBER 2011 TM

Vancouver’s 50+ Active Lifestyle Magazine

The Honourable Steven Point Lieutenant Governor of B.C.

• Conquering Kilimanjaro • Ieva Wool Shares Her Love of Music • Exploring Jacques Cartier’s birthplace And much more... www.seniorlivingmag.com

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DECEMBER 2011

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FEATURES

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30 BBB Scam Alert

12 Cat Tales

31 Ask Goldie

by Lynda Pasacreta

After moving to Surrey, Marlene Smith discovered her patio was a magnet for stray cats, leading her to a rewarding volunteer experience.

by Goldie Carlow

32 Reﬂections: Then & Now

14 Not Too Late

by Gipp Forster

Volunteer Janine Reid joined the Gogos campaign to help raise awareness and money for grandmothers in Africa raising their grandchildren. Joei Carlton was living her dream, until tragedy struck, and she had to redeﬁne her goals – and herself.

18 Memory, Motivation and Moxie

Cover Photo: The Honourable Steven Point Lieutenant Governor of B.C. in his ofﬁce. Story page 6. Photo: Onnig Cavoukian

Retired educator Marian Lowery set out to conquer a mountain – and did it!

26 Our Intrepid Seafarer from Saint-Malo

Senior Living (Vancouver & Lower Mainland) is published by Stratis Publishing. Publisher Barbara Risto Editor Bobbie Jo Reid editor@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Coordinator & Designer Steffany Gundling Copy Editor Allyson Mantle Advertising Manager Barry Risto 250-479-4705 ext 101 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 sales@seniorlivingmag.com Ad Sales Staff Mitch Desrochers 604-910-8100 Ann Lester 250-390-1805 Mathieu Powell 250-479-4705 ext 104 Barry Risto 250-479-4705 ext 101 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

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Editorial Oct 2011.indd 1

by William Thomas

Enthusiastic choir conductor and voice instructor Ieva Wool shares the joy of singing.

Exploring the town that has bred explorers and seafarers for over 500 years.

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24 Forever Young

10 For the Love of Music

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by Barbara Small

His Honour, The Honourable Steven Point Lieutenant Governor of British Columbia.

16 New Beginnings

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4 The Family Caregiver

6 Serving the Community

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COLUMNS

11/22/2011 7:49:40 PM

Head Ofﬁce Contact Information: Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria BC V8T 2C1 Phone 250-479-4705 Fax 250-479-4808 Toll-free 1-877-479-4705 E-mail ofﬁce@seniorlivingmag.com Website www.seniorlivingmag.com Subscriptions: $32 (includes HST, postage and handling) for 12 issues. Canadian residents only. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher. Senior Living is an independent publication and its articles imply no endorsement of any products or services. The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publisher. Unsolicited articles are welcome and should be e-mailed to editor@seniorlivingmag. com Senior Living Vancouver Island is distributed free throughout Vancouver Island. Stratis Publishing Ltd. publishes Senior Living Vancouver Island (12 issues per year) and Senior Living Vancouver & Lower Mainland (12 issues per year). ISSN 1710-3584 (Print) ISSN 1911-6403 (Online)

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DECEMBER 2011

THE FAMILY CAREGIVER

Caregiving During the Holiday Season

he holidays are here again, and although family dynamics may have changed due to caregiving, this season will arrive as usual. With the decline or change in a family member’s health, it can be unrealistic to continue past celebrations while trying to ensure your family member receives proper care.

Are you doing something out of habit or because you really want to?

Many family caregivers are caught up in trying to maintain the status quo and continue life as if the care recipient’s situation hasn’t changed. But it has. This holiday season will not be the same as those in the recent past, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be enjoyable – in a different way. Start by letting go of what “should” happen. Take time to re-evaluate your expectations for the holiday season and

create a more realistic view of how it might occur. What do you truly have the time and energy to do? What can you delegate to others? Are you doing something out of habit or because you really want to? What is most important to retain about this time of year and how might you easily achieve this? Ask your family to identify one aspect of the holiday celebration they enjoy the most or start new traditions for this stage of your life. Don’t be afraid to say no to invitations or requests. Only say yes to activities you can comfortably manage. You decide how much you’ll celebrate – if others want to do more they can take the initiative. Try to maintain a sense of routine for the care recipient. Keep the number of guests manageable. Noise and hectic activity can exhaust the person who is ill and the burnt-out family caregiver. Ask, and then allow, other family members and friends to share in caregiving duties. Ask them to provide respite care for you over the holidays. Just a few hours of time by yourself can help renew your energy. It is natural to feel sad when others are having what seems to be the “ideal” family gathering. Remember, your family is doing the best they can under

BY BARBARA SMALL

the present circumstances. Avoid comparisons with the past. This year will not be the same as holidays in the past, but it can still be enjoyed in its own SL unique way. Next issue: Family Caregiving and Making Time for Leisure

Barbara Small is the Program Development Coordinator for Family Caregivers’ Network Society located in Victoria, BC. www.familycaregiversnetwork.org

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DECEMBER 2011

Our Community

Serving the Community BY KEVIN MCKAY

Photo: Onnig Cavoukian

he lieutenant-governor of British Columbia has a complex job. On any given day he or she may have to swear in a premier, greet foreign royalty, preside over an official ceremony, give royal assent to a new law and much more. Given the diverse nature of the position, it may come as a surprise to learn the most poignant moment of Lieutenant-Governor Steven Point’s job so far. While visiting the Cowichan community recently, Point watched a youth corps of army cadets on parade. He says, “They were all dressed up in their uniforms and one of the young girls was shouting the orders with tears streaming down her face. I know that there are many communities who face all kinds of challenges, and it was at my request that they establish this cadet corps. The chief and the com6

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munity were very co-operative, and it was one of the best moments of my time as lieutenant-governor. That girl was 15 years old, yet she was displaying so much courage. It was a very special moment to see those young people standing there like that. I thought that if I hadn’t done anything else, at least I had done this.” His honour was sworn in as lieutenant-governor on October 1, 2007 and if his appointment came as a surprise, it was even more astonishing to Point. At the time he was asked, he was serving as the Chief Commissioner of the British Columbia Treaty Commission facilitating treaty negotiations between First Nations people and the various levels of government. “I wasn’t expecting it at all,” says Point. “I didn’t know what was involved in it and I was interested in going home and travelling

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less. But my wife and I went on the Internet to find out what it was all about. We thought about it, and she is the one who said it might be a good thing for aboriginal people if someone from our background took on the job. I agreed to do it, and it’s turned out to be quite a positive thing for aboriginal people, who feel very good about it. I started to feel good about it after we started going out to the communities. It’s been a great thing for them.” A life of public service is not new to Point. It seems nearly his entire adult life has been dedicated to giving back, starting at the age of 23 when he was elected as Chief of the Skowdale First Nation, a job he held for 15 years. After graduating from law school at the University of British Columbia and practising for a few years, he served as director of the Native Law program at UBC from 199194. Following a return to his legal practice, Point was appointed to the bench in Abbotsford as a provincial court judge in 1999, one of the few First Nation judges serving on the bench in Canada. Once he had a chance to start working as lieutenant-governor, it did not take his honour long to realize life would be anything but boring. In addition to his work in Victoria while the government is sitting, Point is on the road a lot. “One year, we attended over 400 events and last year it was over 300. This means I have to be out there to make a speech, to dress up, to be prepared to meet the press, if they are there, lots of shaking hands and meeting people. I get invited all over the province,” says Point. “I’ve been to places where I didn’t even know there were places. Some were small, but I’ve been able to meet some very nice people. One time, our plane was icing up and we couldn’t get off the tarmac. There were people waiting for me in Penticton, and the plane was two hours late, but they waited for me to arrive to participate in their annual ceremony. We travel a lot. I’m out of the house about two-thirds of the time.” Despite that hectic travel schedule the job of lieutenantgovernor is an important one with many significant duties, especially when the government is sitting. The head of state for Canada is the Queen and her official representatives in this country are the governor general in Ottawa and the lieutenantgovernors in each province. “Before bills can be passed into law, the Queen has to grant her royal assent and I do that on her behalf for any acts to be passed by the legislature,” says Point. “I also swear in the premier when he or she is elected by popular vote. I install the cabinet into the executive council and, any time they raise an order in council, I have to sign off on those. That is the primary role and it is a constitutional one.” One of the other responsibilities of the job includes signing off on the appointment of citizens to boards like the police commission, university boards and BC Hydro, among others. There is also a ceremonial role, that of sponsor or patron to more than 100 organizations in the province. These groups all have events and the lieutenant-governor attends on behalf of the Queen. His honour is also an honorary captain in the navy and is invited to military events from all branches of the forces, including the RCMP. While getting to meet the citizens of British Columbia, Point felt he needed to do even more.

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“I decided I wanted to visit schools to promote literacy, so I visit as many schools as I can,” he says. “I started a literacy campaign to encourage young children to read and write and, over the Internet, we send out illustrations and students write about what they see. We have received thousands of stories from hundreds of schools in the province. It’s been quite a success, so I try to visit those schools to bring the stories back from time to time.” One final aspect of the job is the international role. Foreign dignitaries, government leaders, ambassadors and consulate members present themselves to the lieutenant-governor’s office when visiting the province. Point says, “I have tea and receive gifts from them and we give them gifts. It is all part of our international obligations. We even had the emperor of Japan through here.” Most people faced with such a heavy workload would probably want to do nothing more with their free time than relax. But, Steven Point is not most people. He has so many hobbies on the go it is hard to know where he finds the time to do them all. In addition to his duties, or perhaps partially because of all the dinners he attends, the lieutenant-governor and his wife like to start each day by running six kilometres. He is also a carver and has worked on a couple of projects involving carving canoes. One project began with a log pointed on both ends, which he found on the beach. It was brought to his work shed at Government House and he realized he had a project to work on. “One of the things I wanted to do in my term was promoting reconciliation and recognizing the different cultures we have in the province,” says Point. “The only culture I know is my own, so I decided to carve a canoe. I did it on my own time, weekends, evenings, sometimes until 1:00 in the morning, all in between my scheduled events, when I had the time. I carved that canoe and presented it to the province. It has been on display at the Provincial Legislature and Cultus Lake. My hope is that it will be displayed at different places throughout the province so many more people can see it.” Point also worked on another canoe project for the navy in which he converted a canoe that had been made for his father’s memorial into an ocean canoe. It was finished, painted, gifted to the navy and placed on their base near the officer’s mess. Currently, he is working on another carving project, this one involving a legend of when the salmon did not return up the Fraser River. He says, “It’s an old legend, told by my great-grandfather. The animals all get together and plan how to get the salmon to return, which they do. I’m carving that story right now. It’s on a plaque, like a wall mounting, and tells that story.” Point’s other hobby involves another of his loves, music. He wrote a song for British Columbia and got the Naden Band to play the music. “The song is about British Columbia, and it is a gift to the province. I don’t hear songs about our province maybe because the word’s too long! I also wrote a gospel song and got a group of drummers that come from all over the place to do the drumming. It’s a mix of aboriginal and contemporary music.” B.C.’s Lieutenant-Governor Steven Point: a complex man with SL simple goals and dreams, dedicated to public service.

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DECEMBER 2011

Arts & Entertainment

FOR THE LOVE OF MUSIC BY MONA LEE

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lived in northern Ontario for a couple of years and there were a couple of other Latvian families that my parents befriended. My mom had studied English at school, so she was able to make her way around the community a bit more easily than my dad, who had to learn the language from scratch.”

control, and group process facilitation for an international development organization. Through her travels, Ieva lived in the United States, Italy and Vancouver. Nearly 20 years passed before she returned to music. She began singing with a trio for fun, which she describes as one the best experiences of her life.

Choir Conductor and Voice Instructor Ieva Wool.

Her mother, a singer, wanted Ieva to take voice lessons, but Ieva followed in her older sister’s footsteps and played piano. From a young age, she loved classical music. Bach, Beethoven, Chopin and Debussy were her favourites until her sister introduced her to the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez and other 1960s pop singers. “I discovered jazz and musical theatre when I was a teenager,” she says. “I didn’t start liking opera and classical voice until I was well into my 30s.” Ieva taught piano in her 20s, but discovered she wasn’t very good at it. She explored careers as a Gestalt therapist and bookstore owner. She worked in computer inventory and production WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

“When I realized that I wanted to conduct and do music as my work, it was an amazing revelation to me,” says Ieva. “People who knew me at the time thought, ‘well of course,’ but I hadn’t realized I could do this.” In 1993, she started volunteer-conducting Vancouver’s High Spirits Choir. “It took everything I had and then some,” she says. “I fell in love with conducting, went to workshops and training sessions for conductors whenever I could, and started my own vocal training.” Ieva liked it so much she decided to start her business, Gotta Sing, in 1998. She had help from a government-sponsored self-employment program and

Photos: Ian Cameron

t a weeknight choral practice, Ieva Wool is the embodiment of fun and enthusiasm. Her energy is contagious. Her Simple Gifts Choir singers are tired after a long day at work, yet they show up for practice, smiling and ready to sing. “One of the things I really love about my work is that I can be silly and zany and nobody ever tries to tame or tone me down,” says the choir conductor and voice instructor. “The more fun I have, the more fun the singers have. The joy of singing is one of the best things there is.” With pianist Elaine Joe at her side, Ieva leads her singers in a vocal and physical warm-up to prepare their voices and relax their bodies for the two-hour practice ahead of them. The singers, ranging from age 20-something onwards, are there for Ieva’s tutelage, the mutual love of singing, and camaraderie. “I think we singers have long known that singing is good for us,” Ieva says. “We can set aside our cares and become completely engrossed in the music. Singing generates endorphins, puts a big smile on our faces, and helps to keep us young and healthy. Scientists have been catching on in the last few years, and there are many studies published about the benefits of music.” Ieva (pronounced ee-eh-va) was born in a German refugee camp just after the Second World War. Her father immigrated alone to Canada and worked hard for an Ontario mining company to buy passage for his family. Six months later, one year-old Ieva, her older sister and mother reunited with him. “Those six months apart were very difficult on us – all of Germany was hungry and the refugees even more so,” she says. “When we finally got on the ship, I almost died from dysentery. We

received the “Be Your Own Boss” Entrepreneur of the Year award in 1999. She is grateful for the assistance in finding her true calling in the music business. Ieva believes all of her careers contributed to her current role as a choir conductor and voice instructor. She gained communication and organizational skills and experience in bookkeeping and financial planning. “I was a single mom when I started my music business, so it was very important to be grounded with money, and to provide for myself and my daughter. Working with groups, organizing activities and events, helping people work hard, and keeping them happily engaged - all of this is very useful as a conductor.” Most of Ieva’s singers come from referrals, her website, www.gottasing.ca, and Craigslist postings. To join the High Spirits Choir, singers need choral experience and must be interviewed before they try out for choir. When Ieva grew more skilled as a conductor, she started the Simple Gifts Choir and Afternoon Delight Choir. As long as they can sing, anyone is welcome to join either choir. No audition or experience is required. People sometimes see Ieva for a private assessment, if they are not sure they can sing in tune. Louise Walsh discovered Simple Gifts Choir online and has been a member since February 2011. She enjoys the choral experience, the great group of people, and mixture of songs; some are demanding, others are fairly easy to learn. “I really love Ieva,” she says. “I think she is the perfect mix of professionalism and fun! The Simple Gifts Choir fit my criteria of being in my neighbourhood and not requiring auditions (way too daunting for me).” Chris Oikawa attended one of Ieva’s Christmas Singalong concerts to see a friend perform. He points out that singing was out of his comfort zone, but he was so impressed by Ieva’s skills in leading the choir and teaching the audience, that he registered for her “Find Your Voice” class in 2009. Chris joined the Simple Gifts Choir in 2010 and has enjoyed the variety of songs he has learned so far. The repertoire includes folk, swing, gospel, classical, love songs, and Broadway show tunes. “I’d highly recommend the choir to anyone who enjoys singing or is thinking about trying to sing but never had the venue or comfort to do it,” says Chris. “Ieva gives lots of great pointers on singing and music in general. It’s quite an experience hearing the different voice sections singing their parts and blending together into a great single song.” The Christmas Sing-along concerts take place on December 13 and 14 this year and the Winter Concerts are sched-

uled for January 2012. Net proceeds from tickets go to the She-way Drop-in Centre (a pregnancy outreach program for women and children) and the Lookout Homeless Shelter. Ieva explains the significance of the two charities that her choirs support. “One of our singers was a public health nurse in [Vancouver’s] Downtown East Side,” she says. “I asked her which were the most effective organizations helping people there. She highly recommended both She-Way and the Lookout Shelter, and we’ve had singers who volunteer or work at both organizations. It feels good to be able to give back to the community, to help the poorest of the poor in Vancouver, and to help babies get a better start in life.” Her choirs also sing at several hospitals and nursing homes.

Simple Gifts Choir

If a choir member has a loved one in a retirement home, Ieva arranges to perform there. “It’s fun to sing for someone you know, and makes it more personal for the singers and the audience,” she says. How does Ieva manage three choirs and private singing lessons? “I’m freakishly organized with all of my choir materials, and I have good helpers,” says Ieva. “My private teaching schedule is pretty much full, and I keep a limit on the number of students I have.” In her free time, Ieva enjoys dancing and good food with friends, reading mysteries and going to the Saturday morning Metropolitan Opera broadcasts. She counts the blessings in her professional and personal lives. “I’m one of the lucky ones,” she says. “I get to work with people who are all doing something they really want, and enjoying themselves. I have two great kids that I get along with SL and my three grandkids are a lovely bonus!” To learn more about the concerts or Ieva’s choirs, visit www.gottasing.ca

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DECEMBER 2011

Cat Tales M

BY DEE WALMSLEY

arlene Smith has always loved cats. “I like them because they’re independent, cuddly, loving, playful, and watching their antics is better than watching TV. They make great companions.” Born in Winnipeg in 1946, this recent retiree has enjoyed more than one “cat tale.” Growing up in Manitoba when pets weren’t so pampered, and vet services were mainly used on farm animals, no one thought about spaying and neutering the family pets. Most pet owners witnessed “Fluffy”’s birthing, a common rite of passage for many children and the kittens, for the most part, found homes among family and friends. Today, people know better: An unspayed female cat, her mate and all of their offspring, producing two litters per year, with 2.8 surviving kittens per litter can add up to 11,606,077 cats in nine years. A staggering number Marlene is well aware of as, over the years, she has devoted her time and attention to caring for countless homeless and unwanted kittens over the years. Kids growing up in the forties had the freedom to be kids. Marlene spent her childhood riding her bike and roller-skating on strap-on skates. In the winter, she and her friends had fun in the snow making snowmen, snow angels and staging wars from backyard forts until the sun set, and Jack Frost sent them scurrying home to hang wet mittens, gather around the radio and let their imaginations soar. As they grew older, curling replaced playing in the snow along with 10-pin bowling in heated alleys. Marlene married in 1967 and moved west to Richmond where she worked for a trucking company for 33 years. After living in Richmond for 25 years, she moved to Surrey, “I discovered that my patio was a magnet for homeless and abandoned cats. I couldn’t let them starve, so I began feeding them and started looking for a no-kill shelter that would take and find these strays loving homes.” In 1992, she found the Canadian Animal Rescue and Extended Shelter [C.A.R.E.S] and met Wilf Longfoot who started the society. She began volunteering at the shelter, 12

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Photos: Craig Walmsley

Volunteering

which was located in an old barn in Langley. Every Saturday, she travelled from Surrey to clean, feed and socialize the many cats. “When I started working for C.A.R.E.S in that dilapidated erstwhile barn, we had no hot water; we had to heat it in a kettle before we could begin cleaning. We eventually installed a hot water tank, along with all the other renovations that volunteers spent their time, money and energy on in making a nice home for the cats.” The shelter relocated to its current home in Milner on November 30, 2003. In February 1998, C.A.R.E.S. began an alliance with PetSmart in Langley. Rescued cats brought into the shelter receive quality food, socialization and veterinary care, and many of those cats are then taken to the PetSmart adoption centre in the Langley store. From February 1998 to December 2010, over 5,000 cats were adopted from that location. Since C.A.R.E.S is a no-kill shelter, animals that are not adopted are able to live the rest of their natural lives under the love and caring hands of the more than 50 dedicated volunteers. Marlene’s duties at the shelter have varied over the years. She graduated from housekeeper to kitty kisser, a position started by the shelter manager with a job description to love, brush, play with and socialize the cats to make their lives joyful and prepare them for adoption. “I found this very rewarding as I witnessed the cats transforming from being very scared and timid to becoming friendly and playful,” she says. “With lots of love and patience their true personalities emerge.” Marlene serves on the

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Marlene at the shelter with cats in the background.

helping animals and being there when a long-term resident or cats that I have developed a special bond with finds a wonderful forever home.” Unfortunately, there is a downside to working at the shelter. Many of the cats that come in sick or injured are beyond saving. Volunteers witness the suffering endured by homeless cats, lost pets and others born into a feral community. Often, it’s not only the cat who suffers, but humans who for reasons beyond their control must forfeit their beloved pets. Downsizing seniors often move into “no pet” apartments or care facilities that won’t allow animals to accompany them, even though medical

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fundraising committee, which accounts for hours of dedication organizing such events as weekly meat draws in three different Langley pubs, soliciting silent auction items for Fraser Down’s night at the races, encouraging community support in the annual 5 km walk-a-thon, casino, bowling and garage sale events to name a few. And she still finds time to volunteer as chairperson for the Cat Evaluation Committee and as secretary on the board of directors and membership committee. “Some of my life’s best experiences have been working with the many volunteers of like mind and passion for

evidence has proven that pets provide many benefits such as lowering their owners’ blood pressure. “There outta be a law against landowners who have no pet policies,” says Marlene. “It is terribly traumatic for any cat, particularly an older senior cat to go from a loving home to a shelter environment, where it will probably spend the rest of its life as senior cats are less likely to be adopted.” She is also a dedicated advocate WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

for stronger, stricter laws for all animal abuse and mistreatment. Marlene doesn’t “own” any cats as she believes people are “guardians” of their pets. However, she is currently a servant and guardian to two rescue cats, SL Smokey and Kiyah. Cats may be viewed for adoption at www.carescatshelter.com and on Facebook, or by visiting PetSmart in Langley. DECEMBER 2011

Not Too Late

Volunteering

BY KEVIN MCKAY

n March 2006, the Stephen Lewis Foundation launched the Grandmothers to Grandmothers (Gogos) campaign to raise awareness and money for grandmothers in Africa raising their orphaned grandchildren. Sixty-fouryear-old Janine Reid became involved after her own mother heard a speaker from the group. “I have heard Stephen Lewis speak before and found him to be a riveting speaker,” says Janine. “I thought there must be something I could do to help, but I put it from my mind until my mother heard someone from the grandmothers’ campaign speak. She mentioned it to me, and told me she thought I would enjoy getting involved.” Janine has always been committed to making a difference in the world, so volunteering for this worthy cause was an easy decision for her to make. Born in New Westminster and raised in Burnaby, Janine joined with 2,500 other young people in the autumn of 1965 to become the first students to attend classes at the new Simon Fraser University. She earned her teaching certificate and took the Professional Development Program before taking a position in the Lower Mainland, along with her husband Cam, who was also a teacher and graduated from the same program. “My husband and I were young and full of idealism, and we applied to every school district in the province that had a two-room school,” recalls Janine. “We got hired to teach at a small community outside of Vanderhoof, each of us teaching half of the students in grades one to six. We stayed there for two years.” For the next two years, Janine and Cam worked for CUSO as teachers in a rural community in Jamaica. When they returned to Vancouver, they brought home more than the experience. They returned with an adopted 14-year-old Jamaican boy named Lennox, whom they raised and educated in Canada. Janine finished her degree, taught in Vancouver and then the couple moved to Port Moody to raise their family. In addition to their adopted son, they welcomed a daughter and a son three years apart. At 57, Janine retired from teaching, though she continued working as a consultant for the next several years. “Towards the end of my teaching career, I co-authored two resource books for teachers,” she says. “So, following retirement, I had six years of being self-employed as a consultant working for various school districts. When I heard about the grandmothers’ campaign, it was my background in teaching 14

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and my high regard for children that drew me to it.” In 2008, Janine joined a group in Coquitlam, one of the member organizations of the Greater Vancouver Region of Gogos. The word Gogo means grandmother in Zulu, though it is not used by every chapter of the grandmothers’ campaign. Each of the groups is autonomous and this allows the organization to be flexible and versatile. “Most of the groups meet once a month,” says Janine. “Our group is up to about 50 members, so we meet in a library. Some groups meet in church halls and others in [a member’s] home. There are more than 20 groups in our region, all the way from Powell River to Mission.”

Janine Reid (far right) with fellow grandmothers on her trip to Swaziland.

Altogether, there are more than 5,000 members spread amongst approximately 240 groups across Canada. “When the Stephen Lewis Foundation was asked if they could help with the caregivers of children in Africa, the Foundation realized the caregivers were grandmothers. This Foundation may be the only one in the world raising funds for this group.” Great things can spring from tiny seeds, and this organization is a perfect example. From its beginning on the eve of International Women’s Day in 2006, the group continues to make remarkable achievements. “We formed when the Foundation invited 100 grandmothers from Africa and 200 self-funded grandmothers from Canada to attend a gathering in Toronto,” says Janine. “The African women shared their stories and the Canadian grandmothers heard them and vowed, ‘We will not rest until they can rest.’ At the end of the gathering, the Canadian women went back to their

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homes across the country to spread the word. In five years, we have raised more than 13 million dollars, and because it is volunteer-driven, a huge proportion of the money raised goes directly to those who need it the most.” Last year, Janine was chosen by the Foundation to be one of 42 Canadian delegates to attend a gathering in Swaziland. There, they brought together 500 grandmothers from 14 sub-Saharan countries to share their experiences and issues of concern. “It is so valuable for these women to come out of their countries and realize others have the same concerns,” says Janine. “We marched together – 1,000 strong – to ask that their rights for freedom from violence, and pensions to help raise the orphaned children be recognized. The gathering lasted three days, but the entire trip took two weeks. It was a whirlwind! It was a rare and historic event, and I was privileged to take part in it. My eyes were opened. Because of my experience in Jamaica, I had some understanding of poverty, but the scope of the AIDS pandemic is truly catastrophic.” The Gogos are officially friends of the Foundation, and raise funds for the Foundation to use on their various projects in subSaharan Africa. Each group decides on its own focus. Some make crafts to sell, some work for a big annual project, and some do a combination of both, depending on the talents and interests of the members. While doing this important work for people halfway around the world, the group realizes their members have lives of their own. “We recognize that women at our time of life have many responsibilities,” says Janine. “Many of our members care for elderly parents and grandchildren. We may have health issues of our own. Some of us are still working. For these reasons, we expect an ebb and flow in our members’ ability to participate fully in our work. People come and go, and give when they have the time and resources to do so. For this reason, we have two people chosen for each job.” The Gogos have made a significant impact on the lives of women on both sides of the Atlantic, and Janine is no exception. “I was pleased to join the group,” she says. “What I love most is the sense of sisterhood and solidarity. We are likeminded and care about the cause. Differences of opinion can be divisive but, in this group, we all focus on the goal. It is important to remember that while we work hard in Canada from this place of abundance, it is the African grandmothers who are shouldering the burden of care for a generation of orphans. They have no time to mourn the loss of their beloved sons and daughters; they must begin to parent again. We simply provide the resources to support their initiatives. They have the creativity and determination to rebuild lives and restore hope. They are the true heroes of the continent and are SL turning the tide of the HIV/AIDS pandemic.”

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MAGAZINE

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For more information or to find a local Gogos group, visit www.greatervancouvergogos.org WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

DECEMBER 2011

New Beginnings T

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he Joei Carlton story began in Montreal in February 1944. However, Joei Carlton, the Travel Writer, was born in 1992. Her story reminds one that a pearl is born from an injury to an oyster. Joei’s reason for becoming an author is simple: “I didn’t want to be just a widow!” Joei’s career, before she became an author, was checkered. Her various jobs included private investigator, a representative for a food services giant, an undercover agent, and the list goes on. At one time, Joei had a success-

BY MALA ASHOK

ful wool store in Toronto, where she and her husband Paul Hossack, a high profile investment dealer, made their lives. In the fall of 1989, they decided to live the Canadian dream. In their forties, Joei and Paul said goodbye to their successful careers, sold their house, wound up and “set out to see the world.” They went to England, bought a small motorhome and travelled across England, Scotland and Wales. Europe soon followed with their adventures taking them to several countries across the continent. It was while living “the dream”

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Author Joei Carlton at a book signing. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

that “the nightmare” took over. In June 1992, less than three years into their adventure, Paul, who went out jogging while the Hossacks were in Germany, suffered a fatal heart attack. Joei’s dreams were plucked away in a matter of 10 minutes. She had no preparation time to redefine herself. After coming to terms with her new status, Joei forced herself to continue all the trips she had planned with Paul. “I needed a reason to get out of bed,” she explains simply. Serendipity led to her writing career. An article based on her notes was published as a story in a local newspaper in 1994. Joei began considering writing seriously. Her first book was Everyone’s Dream, Everyone’s Nightmare. Unfortunately, she could not write the ending, which dealt with Paul’s death. So, she wrote a collection of stories called Restless from the Start. The book was successful and she’s never looked back.

“As a 67-year-young person, I want to cram more into my life...” Joei’s transformation from grieving widow to successful published author was painful. Her way with words, and innate sense of humour coupled with attention to detail made her an ideal travel writer, and her spirit of adventure resurfaced. She enjoys photography and complements her stories with great photos. Joei has to her credit seven published books (one of them is now out of print), four “mini reads,” which are nifty little books dealing essentially with just one trip and two “workbooks,” one on memoir writing and one on travel writing. Her titles reflect the humour in her books, for example, Kiss this Florida I’m out of here, and How I lost 3 pounds in 30 years. She has recently been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul’s “O Canada.” Not satisfied with being “just an author,” Joei expanded her horizons to speaking entertainingly about her experiences and is much sought out in this field. She also teaches classes on writing. “As a 67-year-young person, I want to cram more into my life; so I’m combining my two hobbies of photography and bead-making to make bookmarks, which are perfect stocking stuffers,” says Joei. For B.C. author Joei Carlton, there is no ending. Every ending is a new beginning! Read more about Joei at www.joeicarlton.com

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DECEMBER 2011

Travel & Adventure

Memory, Motivation and Moxie BY CHRIS MILLIKAN

Marian Lowery on the roof of Africa, Uruhu summit on Mt Kilimanjaro.

relude

Ordinary seniors enjoy brisk walks in the park, some moderate hiking or cycling and swimming laps each week. But, at 60-something, Marian Lowery is no ordinary senior! A retired educator married to retired teacher, artist and musician Bruce Dolsen, this feisty mother of two grown children has enjoyed a full, busy life. And always up for an interesting challenge, she’s already encountered a few: growing up in Winnipeg with seven siblings; early teaching days in the Arctic; training for and running a half marathon in 2001; an ocean kayaking expedition to celebrate turning 50; learning to weave following retirement; researching and writing a sweeping historical novel, and the list continues. Then, this year, Marian set out to conquer a mountain! Just last spring, she signed on to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa and boldly billed as a strenuous 18

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physical as well as psychological climb.

Plans and Preparations

In March, Marian inspired friends with her newest challenge, smiling as she said, “I want to tell you all about a project I’ve undertaken. Quite a demanding mountain trek, Ascent for Alzheimer’s forms part of the Alzheimer Society of B.C.’s campaign to raise funds for research and education. Our leader Sue Oakey from Northstar Adventures and five other women form the majority of our team of 10. Y’know, most of the members are 50-plus, but I just may be the oldest!” By the time Marian shared her grand plan, she’d already begun training, grinding up mountain bike trails on Vancouver’s North Shore throughout the spring. Later from her cottage home base, she was climbing Mt. Galiano’s trails and cycling the island’s roadways all summer long. Like

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previous teams, this dedicated 2011 version would prepare and fundraise for the next seven months and then fly to Tanzania to tackle Kilimanjaro. How amazing all this sounded, almost unreal! But, providing regular updates and by relying on her strengths of cooking, weaving and networking with her choir, tai chi, book club, needlework groups, Marian made her once in a lifetime experience more relevant for friends, colleagues and supporters.

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Her African-inspired dinners, participation in a mega garage sale, raffling her hand-woven forget-me-not scarves and carrying hand-inscribed seashells to the mountaintop for contributors, took her way over her $10,000 fundraising goal.

Motivation

“Many of you know that my mother passed away four years ago from Alzheimer’s disease, and honouring her memory forms a big part of my motivation. As well,” Marian says, “I am excited to hear of the many current research

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Kilimanjaro – camping on the mountain.

projects going on in B.C. So, rather than sitting back waiting for governments to provide funding, I decided to do my bit to help out.” The team ultimately raised almost $130,000,

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Travel & Adventure Kilimanjaro 2011 Ascent for Alzheimer’s team and guides at Uruhu summit.

which went entirely to support the Society’s goals: education, research and help for families. Team members themselves bear all travel costs. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia in people over 65. Right now, over 500,000 Canadians have Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia, a number expected to double by 2038. There are over 70,000 sufferers in B.C. alone; 10,000 of those under 65, and 72 per cent of sufferers are women. Seeing a loved one slip slowly away takes an incredible emotional toll. “So,” Marian smiles, “with my mother’s spirit riding along, knowing that my friends believe in me and with supportive teammates, I embark on training and fundraising with optimism.” Fully committed to muscle and cardio strengthening, conditioning and group hikes, Marian trained as well as possible for the gruelling climb ahead. “Our team is a group of fine individuals – tough, committed, generous and 20

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funny. We’ve done several arduous hikes together, with good success,” says Marian. And, by late September, the time had come; the scene was set, team ready!

Five Days Up, Two Down

Setting out from Simba Camp, the hikers gradually gained altitude through sunshine and cypress trees, birdsong and heather, monkeys and hard rains – steadily getting to 12,800 feet (3,902 metres) along trails muddied from the downpour. A taste of what lay ahead came at 14,800 feet (4,511 metres). Marian wrote in her diary: “Travelling mountainous tracks along steep side slopes of Mawenzi Peak, the distant black crater moves in and out of cloud as we do. This day, we climb our last 12 feet (4 metres) hand-over-hand, testing our footholds and relying on the guides to help us to the top. It felt terrific to achieve this altitude! Later camped, we explore some caves another couple of hundred feet up.” WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

She continued, “Ahead, we sight another steep incline to cross. The Camel’s Back leads us on to Kibo Hut at 15,200 feet (4,633 metres). Once there, the actual summit trail is visible, high and narrow with several glaciers rising at and below eye level. In tents awaiting the 11 p.m. call, everyone practises suiting up, preparing backpacks and sleeping.” Marian likely grinned as she wrote, “Our final ascent begins under starry skies and minus -4 degrees Celsius temperatures.” Over the next seven hours, they zigzag across the rock face to Gilman’s Point, covering 3.7 miles (6 kilometres). During the last 45 minutes, a huge boulder field demands giant steps up and around the climb’s steepest part. “Though still pitch black and now -10 degrees, we could tell there were drop-offs where certain death awaited if you stumbled. Here, our guides spot us at the most exposed parts, sing African rhythms to encourage us upward, and even offer to carry our packs.”

“

“You fall into a kind of trance, the cold gets much worse, breathing more difficult. But when the sun rose, we’re at the crater’s rim! Though cold, exhausted and drymouthed, it was such a lift to see light over the roof of Africa! But Uruhu Peak still lays 1 1/2-hours away,” and, she writes, “that last 200 feet (61 metres) of elevation seemed elusively distant.” All 10 of them made it to the top! “Such a huge challenge!” she announced later, “By supporting one another, we did it! And with lots of help from our guides.” “We approached the signpost, screaming in disbelief, celebrating with tears, hugs, singing! Then, unlike the Alzheimer patients for whom we were climbing, we descend leaving behind our foggy brains as we lose elevation,” she observes. Most boot-skied almost 2,000 vertical feet (609 metres) down the scree and, last of all, hiked 15.5 miles (25 kilometres) out of the park.

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Trekking through the snow.

During an emotional moment at their final dinner together, the team awarded Marian their carved walking stick to keep in recognition of her strength, courage and fundraising success.

Postscript

“Yes, trekking to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro was awesome, a rare chance to test my training and mental toughness, meet physical goals, and to do it for an important reason. This expedition had many tests: weather, altitude, sore muscles. But as with Alzheimer’s, the struggle was waged with sufficient preparation, good support and a focus on the journey, not the summit.” SL For more information, visit www.alzheimerbc.org or www.ascentbc.ca to learn more about the 2011 team, its history and goals.

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DECEMBER 2011

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DECEMBER 2011

FOREVER BY WILLIAM THOMAS

“And That’s Why I Love Small Town Living”

so love small-town living. The good that happens in stopped, the elderly lady tried to put the car in reverse and small towns is much more appreciated than in the big back out of the store. “What accident?” “What damage?” Quite quickly, the area was swarming with police and firecity because everybody knows about it. Bad things do happen in small towns, but the tighter knit of the social fighters, as well as curious shoppers. Judy returned from a visit with another shopkeeper in the mall and immediately fabric somehow softens the blow. Eight years ago, Judy, the proprietor of Judy’s Bakery at implemented the bakery’s crisis management plan: butter the Portal Village strip mall in Port Colborne was getting tarts. With three dozen freshly baked butter tarts, she made ready for her husband’s funeral when a policeman knocked her way through the crowd comforting everybody with a on the door of her home in Wainfleet. He had come to in- treat, a smile and a few consoling words. A good ol’ Wainfleet girl, form her that a car had just Judy explained that’s what crashed through the front of you do in these parts – ease the her bakeshop. ...people don’t die in a smash-up pain of people in distress with Judy, an early riser and a baked goods and a kind word. between a car and a bakery shop, punctual person, would be late So, within minutes of for her late husbands’ funeral. they just gain a pound or two... what could have been a great When she arrived at the baktragedy, you have Port Colery, amid all the debris, there borne police and firemen enwas a car parked in the fresh joying Judy’s butter tarts and bread section. It was a bizarre scene, a once-in-a-lifetime event. At least it would have been, Bill Steele, the insurance guy, and Lester Shoalts, the mall except, five years later, another car crashed through the front owner, discussing repairs while catching crumbs in their window making it a twice-in-a-lifetime event. Hoping not to hands. Quite distraught, the husband of the lady driver felt be “three times unlucky,” Judy considered erecting a STOP he needed two tarts. So, in the small town of Port Colborne, population sign at the front door – or at least one that read: YIELD TO 18,450, calamitous events are followed by a meet and PAYING CUSTOMERS. In the more recent “car crash in aisle number 3” event, a greet butter tart reception. Once is an accident, twice is an amazing coincidence, three 75-year-old lady exiting her parking spot directly in front of the store, hit the accelerator instead of the brake and sheared times – Okay, can we all please get this straight once and for off both side mirrors as the car plunged through the front all – Judy’s Bakery does not have, I repeat, does not have a drive-thru window! door and windows. Please understand that if you enter Judy’s Bakery in your She and the car came to rest at the cash register at the back of the store. Joanne, the only employee, later got a car, you’re still going to have to wait in line behind the pedesrare glimpse of seeing herself running for her life on the trians that got there before you. And if you do enter the store surveillance tape. Although no customers were in the store behind the wheel of your car, no matter how much dust and at the time of the crash, 20 people had been in there five debris is falling down, do not hit the windshield washer button. That’s just going to make the sausage rolls soggy. Also, minutes earlier. When the smashing of glass and crunching of wood Judy wants it known that she is not responsible for any ve24

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hicle or its contents parked in the store overnight. Although I must say that since the accident, the Crash Diet Muffins have been flying out the door and that special “50 per cent off loaves of bread with tire tracks” was a real nice touch. Placing speed bumps under the cookie counter to give Joanne a bit of a head start next time – that was my idea. I also suggested a crossing guard for people going from the quiche display to the sticky bun shelf. Resourceful but also a bit of a pessimist, Judy considered a new sign for the front of her shop: “JUDY’S BAKERY AND CAR WASH.” Judy’s Bakery has recently moved to 517 King Street. I mention this only because she promised me a dozen butter tarts if I did. When I asked her why she moved, she once again showed that wonderful sense of humour: “More traffic.” And that’s why I love small-town living: people don’t die in a smash-up between a car and a bakery shop, they just gain a pound or two, if they stay too long at the scene SL of the accident.

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William Thomas is the author of nine books of humour including The True Story of Wainﬂeet and Margaret and Me and The Cat Rules. For comments or ideas, visit his website at www.williamthomas.ca

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DECEMBER 2011

Travel & Adventure

Our Intrepid Seafarer from Saint-Malo

BY JULIE H. FERGUSON

Saint-Malo skyline.

glimpse Saint-Malo from the sea just as Jacques Cartier did on his three voyages home from the New World. Cartier, who claimed Canada for France at Gaspé Bay on July 24, 1534, and explored the St. Lawrence River, was a native son of Saint-Malo, the town that has bred explorers and seafarers for over 500 years. The walled town I admire has tall granite mansions rising above the ramparts and a graceful spire reaching to the clouds. I’m on the early morning ferry from Dinard sailing across the Rance estuary dotted with hundreds of sailboats tugging at their buoys and the small catamarans of the sailing schools awaiting their young students. On this visit, my husband James decides we should stay in Dinard outside Saint-Malo, as the old town is crowded in August and the hotels intra muros, within the walls, can be noisy. Facing the English Channel, I spy outer islands; the fortified Petit-Bé and Grand Bé, which soon will be accessible on foot as the tide ebbs. Saint-Malo has the biggest tides in Europe with a range of just over 12 metres that exposes the islands’ causeways and the sandy beaches, which spread around the town’s seaward side like skirts. The sea breeze cools me but the forecast is for 28C, so I’m dressed in layers and wear stout walking shoes for my quest. I plan to find out how revered Cartier is in his hometown. The ferry slips inside the long breakwater, Môle des Noires, and we dock opposite the Porte de Dinan, a gate in the ramparts, which 26

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leads to Saint-Malo’s main street. I kiss James farewell and head around the town’s perimeter inside the ramparts to the Musée d’histoire de la ville. The mansions rise high on my left – from the upper floors merchants of old kept watch with telescopes for their heavy-laden ships returning from the Indies and Peru. The museum is in the Great Keep of Saint-Malo’s castle built in 1424, which is now city hall. I visit one of two sections: this one commemorates Saint-Malo in its heyday, the 1600 and 1700s, when the sea reigned supreme; so did the corsairs or privateers for which the town is famous. The King of France sponsored these vessels to exact tribute from passing British merchantmen and to plunder enemy ships. Sadly, I find little of Jacques Cartier here. Centuries before Cartier was born, Saint-Malo was a rocky island called Aaron after the hermit who inhabited it. In about 500 CE, a Welsh monk called Mac Low joined him and later became the head of a small religious community. After he was canonized, the island became Saint-Malo. Today, every inch of this rock is built on and it’s joined to the mainland by reclaimed land. Between the walls, Saint-Malo is compact, and six rampart gates allow visitors to enter. It can easily be seen on foot in a day, but two provide more in-depth exploration and three will allow visits outside the walls. Shops, galleries, bistros, and hotels crowd the narrow streets – many are pedestrian-only.

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Photos: Julie H. Ferguson and James S. Ferguson

This August, on my way to the cathedral, the streets seethe with tourists, buskers entertain at every crossroad, delicious aromas waft from cafés and bakeries, and boutiques beckon. As I climb, the spire leads me onward. I know the history I seek will be there. Cathedrals were the heart of their communities in the Renaissance and tell stories of their celebrations and calamities the world over.

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Jacques Cartier statue.

St-Vincent’s does not disappoint. On the south wall, I gaze at a huge stained glass window backlit by the sun. It depicts the Bishop of Saint-Malo blessing Cartier before his first voyage to the New World. It is not the original but a replica dedicated in 1958 after the destruction of the cathedral during the Second World War. Cartier kneels in his armour with a scarlet cloak rippling from his shoulders. His crew and small ship, and the ramparts and towers of Saint-Malo form the backdrop; the bishop in his mitre raises a hand in benediction. A plaque in the stone floor marks the exact spot where Cartier knelt to receive this blessing. The premier of Québec, Honoré Mercier, presented this to the cathedral on a visit in 1891. Jacques Cartier’s simple tomb, rediscovered beneath the rubble of war, lies behind and to the left of the modern altar. Someone obviously cares – fresh flowers adorn it today. Cart-

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DECEMBER 2011

Travel & Adventure ings of him are guesswork. In 1905, French and Canadian subscriptions erected this memorial that towers above me. Larger than life, Cartier leans into the wind and waves, his hand on a wooden tiller, his eyes on the horizon. A replica, donated by Saint-Malo’s mayor in 1971, graces Québec’s Place Jacques Cartier. A new plaque on the original here tells me that Pierre Trudeau unveiled it in 1984 to celebrate the 450th anniversary of Cartier’s discovery of Canada, but it does not mention it was in the name of France. In the stiff sea breeze, I look to the horizon and imagine the contrast between Cartier’s top-heavy carrack, La Grande Hermine, with all sails set bobbing like a cork into the English Channel and the ultra-sleek catamarans knifing through the swells at the start of today’s round-the-world yacht races. Saint-Malo has seen them all. Next year, the tall ships race from here to Lisbon. Canadians may claim Jacques Cartier, but I’m delighted that we also share him with the citizens of SaintMalo, who honour their intrepid seafarers today as much SL as they did in 1534. Cartier stained-glass window.

Crepe chef makes it look easy.

ier died at 66 in his own bed at his manor house, Limoëlou, which is a museum northeast of Saint-Malo well worth visiting. Before leaving the cathedral, I light a candle to his memory for all Canadians. James is outside the West Door and we hunt for a crêperie for lunch: we love the paper-thin Breton pancakes, both sweet and savoury. It doesn’t take long and we choose a table outside in a small, tree-shaded square. “They have a Crêpe Jacques Cartier!” I exclaim. “That’s my dessert, for sure. And to start, I’ll have a fresh calamari crêpe and salad.” I visit the chef making the crêpes and try my hand at swirling the runny whole-wheat batter on the griddle with a wooden scraper. It’s not easy to spread it tissue-thin before it cooks, and the first attempt goes in the garbage pail. My Crêpe Cartier arrives smothered in flaked almonds and maple syrup, and we share it. I want to lick the plate. “Now we should walk it off,” my husband decides. We climb one of the many stone staircases to the wide top of the ramparts and enjoy a circuit of the town. The views are magnificent. On the western rampart I find a statue of Cartier – no one knows what he looked like so the statues and paint28

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Saint-Malo street.

IF YOU GO: • Best months to visit: May, June, and September. July and August are overcrowded. • Weather: unpredictable, even in summer. • Transportation to Saint-Malo: Fly into Paris and take the high-speed SNCF train (Train Grande Vitesse) from Charles de Gaulle Airport to Saint-Malo. • Ferries from U.K. and Channel Islands sail to Saint-Malo. Brittany Ferries: www.brittanyferries.com Condor Ferries: www.condorferries.co.uk • SNCF trains: Start at www.raileurope.com Senior: 3 days/ month pass $279US • Car rentals at Saint-Malo’s TGV station and ferry terminal. • Saint-Malo within the walls is not readily accessible for those with mobility issues. • Tourist ofﬁce: www.saint-malo-tourisme.com has all you need to know about accommodation, restaurants, tours, museums, activities, etc. WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

DECEMBER 2011

BBB Better Better Better Better

Business Business Business Business

Bureau Bureau Bureau Bureau

SCAM ALERT

BY LYNDA PASACRETA

Privacy Policies on “Dear Santa” websites

he tradition of writing to and receiving mail from Santa at Christmas makes for exciting and wonderful childhood memories. Now with the power of the Internet, both children and Santa can readily communicate online. Parents and grandparents introduce children to online Santa resources and, just as with all websites, the Better Business Bureau warns parents and grandparents to do their homework before letting children write to or receive letters from Santa this holiday season. More than 60 domain names are registered in the name of Santa Claus, offering children a wide range of opportunities to email or receive email from Old St. Nick. Sadly, some of the websites aren’t always trustworthy, and can potentially be a dangerous way to share personal information. Writing to Santa is a long-lasting tradition, and while it seems innocent and fun, it is important for adults to carefully review the site to determine who is seeking the information, how they’ll be using it and whether they’ll be sharing this information with third parties. According to the Children’s Advertising Review Unit (CARU), all websites directed at children – or websites designed with a special children’s section – should have a privacy policy that explains the site’s information collection practices. The privacy policy should include the name of the company and the company’s complete contact information. It should also state whether the company shares information with third parties, including advertisers, and whether the company publicly discloses the information or retains the information for any future purpose.

Consider the following tips before allowing the private information of your children or grandchildren to end up on the web: Check to see what it is they want you to hand over. Websites directed at children should not ask for more information than is reasonably necessary to participate in the activity. In this case, a first name and email address is all that should be required. Limit the personal information Santa obtains about children and omit physical addresses. In many cases, there shouldn’t be a need to share this information. Especially since Santa already knows where all the children live. Check websites for unwelcome content. Some sites are geared toward adults and may contain language or advertising adults may not want children to see. Check the links. Since hyperlinks can allow children to move seamlessly from one site to another, investigate the hyperlinks to ensure children don’t access inappropriate content. Practice cautious common sense when using Santa Mail SL websites and don’t forget to check privacy policies.

The Better Business Bureau warns parents and grandparents to do their homework before letting children write to or receive letters from Santa this holiday season.

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Lynda Pasacreta is President of the Better Business Bureau of Mainland B.C. Contact the BBB to check a company report or Buyers’ Tip before you purchase or invest. www.mbc.bbb. org or 604-682-2711. To contact Lynda Pasacreta, e-mail her at president@mbc.bbb.org

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Photo: Jason van der Valk

ASK

Goldie

BY GOLDIE CARLOW, M.ED

Dear Goldie: During my working years, I always dreamed about retirement. I thought it would be so wonderful to do things I was really interested in, and not feel obligated to others. Somehow, none of my dreams have materialized. My wife, children and grandchildren always have plans for me. I love them, but they certainly run things. How can I get my life back? –J.D. Dear J.D.: The only way you will get your life back is to take charge of it. It sounds like you are constantly helping others without a complaint. Stand up for yourself and tell your family you have plans for life ahead. Be firm and don’t back down. It sounds like you continually oblige others. As a result, they probably assume that is all you want out of life. Only you can change this situation. Be firm! Dear Goldie: My husband and I just moved to a small town after many years in Toronto. We find people here friendly but haven’t seemed to make close friends. We have been here for two months. Perhaps it is too soon to expect close relationships again. A distant cousin has lived in the area for several years and operates a hardware store. We have met at family reunions but have never exchanged visits. Would it be appropriate to ask his help? –G.W. Dear G.W.: It sounds like a good idea to enlist your cousin’s help in this situation. You are new to the area and he certainly must know many of the residents. It will probably take time to adjust to small town living after Toronto. Usually in less populated areas new friendships form quickly and, before long, you will get to know the local people. I hope you find happiness in your new SL environment. Goldie Carlow is a retired registered nurse, clinical counsellor and senior peer counselling trainer. Send letters to Senior Living, Box 153, 1581-H Hillside Ave., Victoria, BC V8T 2C1. Senior Peer Counselling Centres (Lower Mainland) New Westminster 604-519-1064 North Vancouver 604-987-8138 Burnaby 604-291-2258 Richmond 604-279-7034 Vancouver West End 604-669-7339 Coquitlam – Tri-Cities 604-945-4480 Vancouver Westside 604-736-3588 WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

DECEMBER 2011

Reﬂections THEN & NOW UNCLE HENRY

would like to tell you a story; a Christmas story; the story of Uncle Henry. Now, most everyone, at one time or another, has had an Uncle Henry, I’m sure. Uncle Henry is the guy who is not a blood relative, is not married, claims to be an adventurer and works at different jobs, if he works at all. Uncle Henry is a character, not taken too seriously, yet adored and lionized by children. He is a hero to the untried mind: a vagabond to those who know and love him. He always shows up at unexpected times without calling first, laden down with gifts for everyone. He says he has just dropped in for a moment while on his way to another great adventure. Just to touch base, to say hello. A week later, he’s still in your living room lounging on a sofa, which has become his bed, watching television and munching on popcorn while waiting for dinner to be served. One very busy Christmas when Mom was out of sorts, and Dad was pretending it was summer, a terrible thought occurred to them both. What if Uncle Henry shows up? They were bumping into each other as it was. If Uncle Henry were underfoot, confusion would turn to catastrophe. They kept their fingers crossed hoping Uncle Henry was spending Christmas in India or Siberia or Hong Kong. But they must have forgotten and uncrossed their fingers because on Christmas Eve, as they celebrated their open house with many of their friends, they heard the familiar voice above the 32

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din: “Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas, just dropped by for a moment.” And there stood Uncle Henry. It had been a while since his last visit. He had grown a long beard, almost white, which reminded he was no longer young. And not surprising: he was wearing a Santa Claus suit and laden down with gifts. The children squealed, running to him, thinking he was the real thing, while he handed out gifts to overeager hands. Mom and Dad rolled their eyes a little, gave a soft groan and did their best to welcome the sailor home from the sea, the hunter home from the hill. “How are you, Henry?” they asked. There came a wink from his merry little eyes. “My name’s not Henry. It’s Nick.” There was a quick chuckle and grin. “Sorry Henry,” Dad said, “I don’t think the kids heard me. I don’t want to blow your cover.” Mom said, “We got a new sofa.” “It’s Nick!” He insisted with a Ho Ho Ho! “Right,” said Dad, “Nick! How have you been, Nick?” “Fair to middlin’,” Nick said scratching under his beard. Mom and Dad had to smile. Henry’s happy twinkling eyes laughed at them, while the same old signet ring remained on his finger as he searched for the itch; the “character” living up to the reputation that harboured him. “You still serving that famous rum punch I like so much?” he asked. Mom, smiling, went to get him one. Dad said, “I’m really sorry, Henry, WWW.SENIORLIVINGMAG.COM

BY GIPP FORSTER

I mean Nick, I’m afraid we can’t put you up this time. A lot happening.” “Oh, I can’t stay. Too much to do. Too many places to go. Too many people to see. I’ll have my toddy and be gone,” he said. “Don’t want to leave the reindeer alone too long.” Dad chuckled, “You are a piece of work, Henry. You really are.” The children gathered around him once more, squealing and pulling on his sleeves. With a Ho Ho Ho, he allowed himself to be dragged away. Mom returned with the toddy, telling Dad how ashamed she felt for treating and thinking of Henry as a bother. After all, it was Christmas, the time of peace on earth, goodwill to men. She would take his toddy to him and apologize. But she couldn’t find him. Finally, she went outside and saw all the children standing on the lawn looking up. Then she heard the tinkling of harness bells, and as she too looked up, she saw the reindeer, the sleigh and Uncle Henry in his Santa suit. And though many years and many Christmases came and went, they never saw Uncle Henry again, which left one probing question: Was Uncle Henry Santa Claus or was Santa Claus Uncle Henry? If your Uncle Henry shows up, you might want to ask him that question. Mom and Dad would reSL ally like to know.

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