BARD FREE PRESS
ANNANDALE ON HUDSON NY
SEPTEMBER 2009
VOLUME 11 ISSUE 01
03
planning committee explains it all by chris given
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EDITORS emily derian demartino (layout / bein ocd) emily diamond (content / problem solving) abby ferla (content / grammar maven) ezra glenn (photographer / centerfold panda) camden segal (layout / web / has bottle opener)
STAFF sofia pia belenky giampaolo bianconi luis burgos jack byerly matt constantino diana crow alex eriksen jesse taylor feldmus jeremy novak maxwell paparella emma pelman dan raskin jonathan raye issa revell sarah rosenthal joey sims jake stortini shannon thomas becca webb mike wittner
CONTRIBUTORS annie battles allison brainard ken cooper aaron dean chris given george glikerdas beth gratzer emily gui justin leigh emily mcmaster deedee o’loughlin jeffrey pereira
cover art by senior studio art major elvia pyburn-wilk all covers this year will be seniors showcasing work, contact us at bardfreepress@gmail.com if you want to be one!
Though it may be too late for the person who, upon reading the headline, lept up onto his table in Kline to perform a celebratory dance, I should clarify: the title does not refer to your college loans. In that area, you’re still screwed. Sorry, folks. The Student Association, however, is in a much better place than you are. We still don’t have enough money to cover even half of what clubs request, although we’re working on that one, but at least we’re in the black. This was not always certain; for most of the summer months we were preparing to deal with a Convocation Fund that was between $20,000 to 30,000 in debt. Actually, based on the assumptions we were operating under at the time, the actual number would have turned out to be $39,595.66, or a little under a third of the semesterly Activities Fee revenue. It would have been a terrible year, probably one that involved Student Government working off its arrears through manual labor of some kind. Fortunately, we now have $2,541.23 in the bank, which will soon be supplemented with the approximately $130,000 generated by the $70 ‘Student Activities Fees,’ contributed by all of us. So, we have a clean slate and no debt. Isn’t that great? Like magic, everything worked out, and my summer stress was for naught. Well, not quite. Though we could just thank whatever deities we pray to and move on, this would be to ignore the many problems that got us into this position in the first place. So I’m going to go through the whole story of how we got into and out of debt. The origins of the problems date back to 2005, when it was ‘discovered’ that the Student Association had a little over $82,000 in its account. In actuality, it had $115,743.37 in unspent funds, but no one knew this at the time. Though the discovery damaged the committee’s reputation for fiscal responsibility* in the eyes of the administration, students rejoiced at the pile of cash that had just fallen into their laps, and the committee wasted no time spending it. The semester after learning the news, $50,000 was spent on a costly SMOG expansion. By the end of Spring 2007, the money was gone. What was left in its aftermath, however, was the idea that resources were bottomless. Shortly after the discovery, Planning Committee, always caught between pressure from clubs and a minuscule convocation fund stretched too thin, began to allocate more money than it had, based on the historically accurate assumption that clubs would not spend all that they received. This, I believe, was a fundamental error of method; instead of attempting to guess the amount clubs wouldn’t spend, Planning Committee should have induced clubs to spend money more efficiently by punishing those clubs that over-requested and reducing their subsequent allocations. Instead, however, the Committee was effectively making gamble every semester on how inefficient clubs would be. Semester after semester, they guessed incorrectly, overspending by $6,684.99 in the 05-06 academic year, $4,426.39 in 06-07, $17,181.16 in 07-08, and $12,764.86 in 08-09. If the Planning Committee had been correct about the size of the Convocation Reserve in 2005, it would currently be about $40,000 in debt.
Here’s where the story turns around. As it turns out, the Reserve was far larger than anyone had known, about $33,000 than anyone had been assuming. We know this now because Kim Henschel, the Assistant Controller who now oversees the Convocation Fund, spent her summer figuring out exactly how much money it contained. The result of her labors is a chart, which depicts the actual amount of money remaining in the Student Association coffers at the end of each of the last five academic years. At the end of it all, she determined that the Planning Committee had a little less than $6,000 in debt. Yet Kim Henschel, Assistant Controller extraordinaire, did not stop there. There were also a series of outstanding checks that had never been cashed, which are now believed to have been duplication errors. By crediting the total of these checks back to the fund, it gained an additional $8,393.52, bringing it to a final figure of $2,541.23. Yes, a positive figure at long last. Though the debt is gone, however, we’ve played our last Get Out of Jail Free card. Now we have to change course, because we can’t continue to overspend--there just isn’t any more money with which to bail us out. We can do this by rectifying the mistakes of the past. We will rid Planning Committee of its gambling problem and only spend what we have, focusing our efforts on ensuring that clubs efficiently use that money. The emergency fund will again be unallocated money, not money already allocated four or five times over. Additionally we plan on putting new safeguards in place. The Treasurer and Planning Committee will work to keep a closer eye on where the money is going, and at the recent club head day, we sketched out the details of a new check cutting procedure that will not only make the process more orderly and efficient but also eliminate cash advances that allow your money to be put to ends that neither you nor we have approved. And finally, this year we will do something that’s been talked about for a while but has not been done since 1991--raising the Student Activities Fee. Our fee is less than half that at Vassar, resulting in a Convocation Fund that is ill-equipped to sustain the number and diversity of Bard’s clubs and student organizations. In the end, we’re back where we started. This time around, however, we’ve learned from past mistakes, and won’t be repeating them. *No, we have never, to this point, had such a reputation. This is something that we’re working very hard to change this year.
on campus
the peculiar tale of how we were but are no longer in debt
04
05
on campus
welcome home
teaching others how to teach
big admins tell us what to look fwd to at bard this year
bhsec makes the mold
interview by sarah rosenthal
interview by alex eriksen
To try and snag you a little peek at all the riveting events to come in the Fall 2009 semester, FP staff member Sarah Rosenthal sat down with Leon, Paul Marienthal and David Shein. Is there anything new and exciting prepared for this year, she asked? Well, unfortunately, if we take the Botman’s word for it, not really. As far as he can report, the year promises to be the same, if not slightly better than the last. But, hey, this might be worth reading anyway-- if only to hear about how our college president sat down with the US Secretary of Education, learn about all the TLS projects that you should probably be involved in, and get David Shein’s take on the new freshman class. President Botstein FP: So what new changes in academic programs can students expect to see at Bard this year? President Botstein: In the dance program there is the new professor-in-residence, which will hopefully be a positive change for the program. There are a lot of new faculty. In areas like computer science, biology, chemistry, and in Chinese, there are new tenure track appointments. In the spring, for example, there will be a visitor teaching in the area of international public health. I don’t think there are dramatic changes except for, you know, some increased faculty resources. There is the new al-Quds program, with new opportunities opening up for students in the area of Middle Eastern Studies and Arabic. But I don’t see any dramatic changes in the academic program this year. Are there any changes that you are especially excited about? Well, there is a new commission for the department of Environmental Studies area, with a new director of the graduate program. So I think the faculty are all eager to meet about that. There will be some increased opportunities for non-majors in the area of religion as well. I’m also interested in the evolution of opportunities for majors and non-majors in the field of science.
Last year some construction projects were put on hold when the economy took a turn. Now there has been talk that the economy might improve. Will students possibly see any projects being started this year? I think possibly [they will see] some improvement in the dining facilities. We are expecting to expand Manor. We are hoping to open up the back of that and increase the amount of seating. Stone Row was renovated. The projects that need attention are replacing the temporary dorms, expanding the library and renovating the gym. Those are things that need to be done. Also the Hannah Arendt Center will be built, and there will be faculty offices and classrooms in that. But this year will be a year of small changes and consolidation. Nothing dramatic in the way of brandnew construction. What would you say Bard’s goals are as an institution this year, and what do you hope to improve? Well, the most important goal is not directly related to the undergraduate program: taking the first steps to expanding the Prison Initiative Program in New York State. The second is cooperating with the federal government in expanding the Bard high school-college model that’s in New York City. As you probably know, we were singled out by the President, and we met in Washington last week with the Secretary of Education in an effort to work with them -- since we have the best model on the ground -- and help to enlarge it and make it more available as part of the opportunity for students in public schools. For students moderating or working on their senior projects, we’ve created this website of faculty resources so students can find who in the Bard family has expertise in certain areas. That way they can make contact more easily and get help with their programs. There are a larger number of students involved in service programs. So, we’d like to expand that and open it up for students to use their extracurricular time. The Conservatory
program is entering its fifth year, and we will make our first public appearance this spring in New York with the orchestra. On the international side, this year we’ll be looking at whether or not the college should develop a relationship with the University of Central Asia, which is the most important English language university in the Central Asia Republics. So it’s a period of consolidation, not a period of rapid change. Paul Marienthal FP: What new programs will we see coming out of the TLS office this year? Paul Marienthal: I’m happy to say we have had a steady stream of students coming in. I mean, it’s stunning; I’ve never seen anything quite like it. There’s a microfinance project that’s brewing, so we’ll be learning about that and perhaps going into the micro-loan business locally-- and not just to give out loans, but to stick it out with people and see those local small businesses and projects work. That would be a great project to try and do that in Hudson. There was a wonderful project this summer in Palestine: the Palestinian Youth Initiative. Mujahid Sarsur, a sophomore from Palestine, and Aaron Dean, who’s a senior, ran a [livein] summer camp for three weeks for a group of teenage boys from Mujahid’s village. They did free writing, re-built the cemetery in town, and they took a couple of really amazing field trips, one of which included a visit to the Holocaust Museum in Israel. It turned out to be the first educational trip ever taken by a Palestinian group to the Holocaust Museum in its forty year history, which actually was a big deal in Israel. We had no idea. And they plan to expand that program a lot next summer…It’s quite inspiring what [Mujahid] wants to do. The New Orleans students ran a summer camp this summer. There were 30 Bard students there for six weeks and they ran a 9-5 summer camp for 120 kids in conjunction with the YMCA, and they will do more of that. Do you feel there have been any TLS proj-
ects that have been overlooked? You know, we do a lot of projects in Hudson, and strangely it’s almost as if that place has kind of imploded on itself. It’s one of the most depressed communities in the entire state… It’s got a lot of poverty and a lot of problems. The industry left, and the school district is just a disaster. I hope this micro-finance program works, as I would kind of like to “adopt” Hudson in a real way. It’s important for people to understand this is not a community service office. This is social action, and in that respect, I require everyone to think in terms of being in a relationship with a community, not “service.” We’re not asking for sainthood. How can interested students get involved? Any student who wants to get involved should just ask—it’s easy. Get in touch with students [who run projects], check out our bulletin board. Every single one of these projects needs other students. None of those are solo projects. David Shein FP: Could you explain this year’s new “joint major” and “joint senior project?” What does it entail, and what precipitated this change? David Shein: The joint major, which you can find on the online curriculum guide – that everyone should check out – allows to students to achieve the goal of acquiring two fields of study without doing two senior projects. And the idea is you moderate into and complete the requirements for two programs of study but rather than double major or write two senior projects, you request permission to write one incorporating both subject matters. The expectation is you will have a GPA of about 3.0, you need permission from the executive committee of the faculty to do it, and obviously it’s not going to work in all cases, right? If you’re a theatre major and a chemistry major, they’re just too distinct to create a project. But what we’ve seen is a number of students have interests that really intersect: math
and economics, politics and human rights…there are lots of them, and in this case, they can say, ‘I want to do one senior project that relates to [these two majors],’ and that’s cool. So the first person graduated with a joint major last year in economics and mathematics and people seemed quite excited about it. Other options include a double major, which is two moderations, two senior projects or to do a single major with a concentration or just a single major, right? What we’re trying very hard to clarify is the language we use to describe the curriculum. So, we’re drawing a distinction between programs and concentrations. A program is a thing into which you can moderate, divisional programs and interdivisional programs, which you can find listed online. And now creative writing, which is now called Written Arts, is a stand-alone program, while Science, Technology, and Society is a concentration.
FREE PRESS: What did you talk about? Botstein: As you probably know, the President highlighted the Bard early college program in his speech given at the NAACP’s 100th anniversary speech. There were two innovations he thought should be emulated: first, what they’re doing at Medgar Evers College, which is in Brooklyn, and the other was the Bard early college program. It was really unusual that it came from within the White House and the President himself signed off on it and to bring it up in an important policy speech [sic].
Are there any other changes in academic policies that students should know about? Drop/Add deadline is the 16th-- everyone should know that. If you want to take a class pass/fail, you need to let the registrar know by the drop/add deadline. There are forms available in the Registrar’s Office. It’s not a new requirement, but it’s one we’re trying to emphasize. Those are the only changes in the curriculum I think… [Also] people should know Integrated Arts is no longer offered; it has been disbanded, but now with the joint major, no-one should need Integrated Arts. You can do a joint major in theatre or music or whichever, and the joint major does all the work of the Integrated Arts but in a more organized fashion.
Did they give you a sense of what their plans were? The meeting was mostly about 90% discussing ways in which to expand and gear up the early college initiative nationally. It was a meeting about strategy. At the end I made a pitch about the role of art education in public school in the earlier grades. I want to urge the administration to back music, the arts, as real components of elementary education, particularly among poorer populations. I also suggested they look at the huge success of classical music in places like Venezuela, Mexico, and China.
What have been your first impressions of the class of 2013? There are some very tall students. They strike me as a very smart, sharp, interesting group. It was a good Language and Thinking group; they worked really hard. They seemed eager and interested, game for what we had to offer. The first-year students in my class so far have seemed impressive-- and talkative—though certainly no better than the last three years of classes! It’s a good group I think. And we have a large number of transfer students. They seem equally impressive. What are you most excited about in the upcoming academic year and why? I am excited about, as I am every fall, our new group of students applying for Fulbright scholars, Rhodes, Watsons, Marshall--we have two Marshall students…I’m excited about working with those students. We some fantastic new faculty that I’m excited to work with and to get to know and to see students interact with and get to know. And we’re hoping to have Leon do more [events] in Tewks, like talks and panel discussions.
As a followup to that we met with the Secretary of Education to talk about the early college program they want to emulate it on a national platform. Quality, access, rate of completion is at the top of their list and they think what were doing is important and really is the cutting edge of what needs to be done. Who else was there? Ellen Lagemenn, a historian of education for Bard’s Levy Economics institute and Dean of the education school of Harvard and Martha Olson Dean of Administration at Bard High School Early College were there.
How much did they know about the early college program and Bard? They are well informed about Bard, Al-Quds, I was impressed to the extent of what they know of what the college does, and I think they were very impressed by what we’re doing. They wanted to know why did Bard, a private institution, choose to enter the public sphere, and they want to know how to get wealthier private institutions involved. They want some of the wealthier institutions in the game of strengthening the secondary school system, they want to get that conversation started, get them to make a broader contribution to education. Did they have any questions about anything else? No, I think they came to talk about a specific platform that has to do with their policy. Other than that they were looking to us as a means to formulate their own plans for high school and early college. Mostly they wanted to know how we run ours, how it’s financed, and what the student body is like. Do you think they’ll involve Bard in the plans to take the early college program national? I don’t know. I would hope that they would turn to us and ask us to help them expand these programs. If you find someone who knows how to do something, they’ll [sic] always be the best source of training to get other people to learn how it’s done. So you send a group of people to learn from the ones who figured out how to do it. On the other hand it’s possible, given the range of their agenda, they may decide to do something different or appropriate the idea in another way.
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first-years
first-years
06
a chronicle of maliciously destructive, self-indulgently base, opportunistically life-ruining, socially destabilizing, and ultimately just plain scurvy gossip THE FREE PRESS GETS THE DIRT by matt constantino
In days of yore, to act as an authority on truths of a certain scurrilous nature (sometimes belittled as “gossip”) was not a dishonorable act; the Greeks had their oracles, the Jewish, their yentas, the British, their ladies in waiting-- and these were respected and virtuous people. So when did this ministry become a villainy? Was it Deep Throat? The Patriot Act? The fact that, right now, on Wikipedia, there is an article devoted specifically to Miley Cyrus’ “early work” and a data entry analyst in Tupelo named Stephen had to spend time making words for that when he could be spending time with his children, little Jack and little Susie, and their ephemeral childhoods are passing as ephemeral childhoods are wont to do, that is, quickly, and soon they shall be old and resentful towards him, and that is a little tragic, is it not? Is it not? I don’t know; at least, in Miley’s words, “it’s a party in the USA,” which is clearly a societal comment about father figures lost in digital absentia and the evanescent nature of youth. But anyway, instead of actual journalistic research or even blind speculation on when gossiping became the work of despicable folks, here is an image I found on the Wikipedia entry for gossip: From this, I can only assume that to hate on gossip is to be a communist woman of Soviet Russia with a powerful-ass browline. So there, Bard. Go ahead and spit upon thy gossip, those vignette pearls before swine, thus assuring my parents’ worst fears that you are all communists and also women. And remember that it takes more muscles to smile than frown, for your own sakes, please. I say this only because for this article, originally slotted to be a whimsically tasteless account of L&T gossip and happenings, I sent out a Facebook missive. ‘Twas no humble missive but one that, like the original article, reveled in its inherent vulgarity. Essentially, I wanted your most heathen hearsay, Bard. I wanted your most putrid prattle, your sleaziest scuttlebutt, your bawdiest blather, your most contemptible calumny, your blah blah blah I am clever and can employ alliteration because I passed the fifth grade. Instead of giving me even mildly winning tidbits of scandal, all I got were a handful of self-indulgent finger waggings from internet personae empowered by the anonymity sheath so generously afforded by the World Wide Web, phrases from which I’ve harvested to provide this article a name, printed above. Yeah, that’s plagiarism. Dig it, you strong-browed communist women. Dig it. But yes, apparently gossip is bad and all those other words I’ve conveniently provided in the title. I’m hard pressed to say that I care, since this kind of sweeping moral judgment kind of cramps my style. Really? All gossip is bad? And even more to the point, all self-parody is bad? Are we too serious to make fun of ourselves already, First Years? Can we not laugh at our Freshman mistakes, satirize our beginner’s luck and misfortune? Can I find a way to sneak another Miley Cyrus reference into this piece of slowly waning journalistic merit? Apparently not (this clause does not apply to the Miley question), if for no other reason than that by judging by the number of submissions
identifying freshmen is a science
do not take this lightly it is important for social order by annie battles I received--that being none--nothing happened during L&T. I suppose I could just submit this paragraph for my article. There you go, Editors: nothing happened during L&T and nothing hereafter shall come from that time. No prattle or scuttlebutt or blather; just thoughts not about the thing but the thing itself and this piece of journalism--”journalism.” But I shall not fail you, Bard, even though you have failed me, for it seems only fair to assume that, since nothing interesting happened to any of you, that everything interesting during L&T happened to me. True to my assignment, I will give you an account of just that. So, having spent nearly eight hundred words of your life on an introduction, I give you: Everything Interesting That Happened During L&T. Everything interesting that happened during L&T consisted of five guys named Eglantine, Chronicles, Imhotep, Mahalalel, and Miley. If these names seem strange to you, it’s because these are in fact not the names of anyone I’ve actually hooked up with (because that would be “life-ruining,” wouldn’t it, Facebook moral police, wouldn’t it?), but names from works of substantial literary merit which I am reading for class. And, also, Miley Cyrus. So how much am I actually going to tell you? And how much do you really want to know? Well, I’ll tell you this. Eglantine called me Hitler afterward because of my “Napoleonic delusions of grandeur;” Chronicles evaluated my overall chances at having herpes to be high and informed me that I needed an ear job; Imhotep made awkward faces the whole time; Mahalalel was tipsy, but so was I, except he keeps going around telling people that I wasn’t and he was and I took advantage of him and blah blah blah he’s an actor and attention is his currency; and Miley I picked up on the rebound. What can we take from all this? That gossip is only as powerful as we give it means to be? That talk is cheap, but hooking up cheaper? That no one should ever kiss me again lest I re-name you and turn you into journalism? Perhaps it’s just that we all need to put L&T behind us, as well as this whole little incident and even the last thousand words or so. These things are past, and little Jack and little Susie’s childhood is happening now, right now, in the present, and we shouldn’t waste that time chronicling Miley Cyrus’ cameo in Big Fish as Young Ruthie. L&T is a strange and hyper-real medial between high school and college, and what happens in that strange gestation period can only be judged to be as meaningful and deliberate as kicking in a pregnant woman’s belly. This is not a time to endlessly document our incubation, but a time to revel in our childhoods. To quote a certain young singer/songwriter/actress of our time: Out of the fire and into the fire again You make me want to forget And start all over I couldn’t have said it better myself.
As an especially observant Sophomore, one of the first things I noticed upon returning to Bard College this semester was that I was no longer a Freshman. I also observed that an alarming number of my friends from last year were also not Freshman. I came across a horrible dilemma. How am I supposed to tell the difference between those in my year or higher and those who will be graduating (tentatively!) in the year 2013 (or as the Green Onion would have it 2014)? How will I aggressively assert my authority over those so below me if I cannot even identify those below me? I realized my unique position, a non-Freshman still fresh with memories of ice-cold fear the day upperclassmen moved in, walking tentatively around the campus center and talking loudly about my appreciation for an obscure Israeli pop band in the hopes some nineteen or twenty year old would realize how cool I was/still totally am. I organized a small discussion group of sophomore colleagues to discuss methods to easily identify those graduating (tentatively!) in the year 2013 before all the vivid memories fade into the background of my psyche, overtaken by new, cooler, hipper, more superior memories of my Sophomore year. Through the collective experiences of these weathered individuals both pre and post-matriculation, I have created a simple guide to reference when you find yourself unable to identify one of them. I did request that the Free Press print my article in a convenient 2.5” by 3.5” so as to fit in a wallet for easy access and portability. In any case, the Xerox machines in the library, I believe, have the capacity to shrink documents down to that size for around 15 cents. In terms of lamination for cheap, one might go into Kingston or New York City to a copying
and shipping service such as FedEx Kinko’s. There are certain telltale signs that one can use so as not to have to actually get too close or interact with the person in question. A female student failing to look disheveled and wearing what looks like an outfit that took time spent gazing in the mirror is an indication of their “freshness,” so-to-speak. If you witness a student spilling a beverage, accidentally kicking someone’s bag or person while walking, or is in your way as you walk and apologizes for over ten seconds or even looks you in the eye, the odds that this student is a Freshman are very good; feel free to respond sassily. The majority of persons in the campus center and/or Down The Road after 10 PM is often composed of Freshman, so while you cannot fully depend on a student in these places being younger/lesser than you, assume that he or she is a Freshman and act accordingly. Lastly, if you see a student that looks exactly like one of your classmates but is not said classmate (Ie: has the same outfit, hair, gait), there is a good chance that this person is a Freshman and has not realized that someone at Bard has already asserted individuality in the same way. A great way of determining whether or not a student is a Freshman is by interacting directly with them, but only do this if you must. If you see a person walking towards you giving you the same eye contact one associates with two people who have been made acquaintances, do not immediately assume you two have met and that you just have no recollection (common causations of lost recollection include over-exuberant intoxication or general disregard). There is a very good chance that this person is new to the apathetic attitude and is follow-
ing Bethany Nohlgren’s advice to walk, head up, and greet your fellow students! “No iPods while you walk, guys!” If you are given a cigarette and realize that the donor has one or two left, there is a good chance that you are dealing with a Freshman. Nobody wants to be that Freshman that didn’t give you a cigarette that one time. Another clear indication that a student is a First Year is if you find that in a one-on-one conversation you end up answering questions regarding your hometown, your year, and your major before the repartee comes to a stuttering, awkward halt. Beware of a few behavioral signs that, while seemingly obvious, are not indicative of one’s class at Bard College. Do not assume anything about a person who is extensively intoxicated at a party. Becoming belligerent, falling, or shutting one’s eyes for a little, blanching, and swaying uncontrollably whilst socializing are all common habits for all students. Lastly, do not assume just because someone looks confused most of the time that he is a Freshman. Many people just get confused. Let the person sort it out on his own without offering your help. Also, often people’s natural faces just veer towards a look of confusion and it would be offensive and inappropriate to point it out. Lastly, if you look around and see a group of students pointing animatedly and exclaiming, “That’s such bullshit!” or “What a bitch. This is so rude and/or poorly written,” while reading this month’s Free Press, they have probably been offended by my strategic guide and are Freshman. Take note. * because we’re fucking great at everything, the FREE PRESS acquired the id photos of some new first-years
FRESHMAN CLASS STATS
ARE THEY REALLY SO NEW AND WEIRD? Maybe. compiled by shannon thomas Total: 512, chosen from a pool of 5,510 applicants Males: 236 Females: 276 Out of those who reported: 276 were in the top 10% of their graduating class. 384 reported having a GPA of 3.5 or higher.
62% received financial assistance 53% received Bard institutional aid 51% are White/non Hispanic 13% are Asian/ Pacific Islander 5% are African American/Black 5% are Hispanic/Latino
16% are International students, from over 40 countries The rest come from 36 states: 55% come from the northeast, and 28% from NY alone 14% from the West Coast 9% from the south 6% from the mid-west SOURCE: Bard Student Profile, www.bard.edu
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bardiverse
taking woodstock
and taking $8.50 and 2 hrs of my life by jeremy novak Has Ang Lee done it again?! Only in the sense that he has made a movie. Taking Woodstock seemed to have everything you could want: hippies, drugs, and music! The dad from American Pie! Bard Students! And yet...no. The story goes: Elliot Tiber (Demetri Martin) dutifully returns to upstate New York to save his parent’s failing motel and luckily is able to with the help of the Woodstock festival and in doing so he discovers that what really needed saving was his--oh good lord this movie was too long. Taking Woodstock meanders on painfully slowly but unlike Ang Lee’s claim to fame has no cowboy on cowboy lovin’ and feels old halfway through. Shooting for comedic drama, this movie misses on either comedy or drama. Demetri Martin’s character is straight-up boring and was given none of the one liners that made him famous. Eugene Levy plays Max Yasgur, the owner of the famous host farm in Bethel, New York, but his lines are so simple that your uncle would have done just as well for the part. Most of the humor comes from Liev Schreiber who brilliantly plays Vilma, a drag queen providing security with a blond wig and five o’clock shadow. Besides those delivered by Velma, though, most of the intended jokes are tired and too easily rely on “crazy stoned people.” For intance, Elliot’s parents dance wildly in the rain after accidentally eating hash brownies (instead of laying comatose on the carpet). As for dramatic elements, there was certainly a plot-- Ang Lee just missed it. Elliot Tiber was a closeted gay artist/designer whose story certainly could have been compelling had the movie not breezed over all of the tensions and struggles of 1969 that made our nation so restless. In one scene Elliot’s kiss with a sexy construction
worker is met with applause. This is all well/good/kinda hot, but has little impact on the audience because after a passing reference to the Stonewall Riot, there is no suggestion that two men kissing was anything but accepted in the 1960s. The movie is obsessed with the calm of Woodstock but passes over all of the hatred and bigotry that made three days of peace and music a beautiful and radical event. Ang Lee must have taken the bad brown acid before deciding not to include any music in a movie about Woodstock. Jimi Hendrix’s psychedelic “Star Spangled Banner” isn’t there- which in itself is alright--I’m guessing it was better live, but the real downfall is the message of the song and the concert never made it into the film either: the proclamation “Hey we are America too, with long hair and different opinions and the optimistic force of youth and we are going to be heard!” was entirely absent. If you remove this message and the music, you’re left with just a muddy field. There were some redeeming elements: interesting shots through an acid trip and a hectic split screen sequence were captivating, the Bard extras held signs and stood in a crowd with style and poise unmatched by any other extras. Most notably, somewhere through the lagging confusion “Vilma” is able to offer a powerful moment: when asked if Elliot’s old father knows what “he [Vilma] is” he replies “I know what I am,” showing a glimpse of Woodstock sentiment by expressing the very kind of self-awareness and clarity the movie itself lacks.
last semester, rugby lead to 8 stiches for evan neuwirth
bardiverse
08
BARD RUGBY: NEW TEAM, NEW COACH, NEW SEASON CLUB REBOOTS WITH NEW PLAYERS AND NEW LEADERSHIP by alex eriksen
getting from point a to point z
how to get from bard to somewhere else & back again by jonathan raye To some, it may appear that travel options for Bard students are limited to those of a psychedelic sort. While this option may indeed be available, a convenient and mostly complimentary range of non-psychedelic services is offered to the intrepid student explorer. The most common and frequented of these is the Bard shuttle, which runs from Red Hook to Bard to Tivoli and vice versa on an approximately 40 minute basis. It’s generally reliable and on-time. To the novice it may be somewhat difficult to catch. But don’t be discouraged. It shows up at the same times on the same days in the same places, so if you catch it once you should be pretty set for the rest of your academic career. Ed Schmidt, Bard’s Transportation Director, states that service changes are not expected at any time in the foreseeable future. Unless there is a massive student outcry, no north to south campus-only shuttle will be provided. New York City is the second major destination for Bardians and is quite easy and cheap to reach. Bard shuttles and public transport will suffice to get you there. The Dutchess County Loop Bus will get a Bard student around the Hudson Valley for free (Poughkeepsie is $1.00). Trains are a sure bet: the nearest Amtrak train stop is in Rhinecliff (15 minutes by Bard shuttle from Kline). Amtrak runs to New York City and beyond (e.g. Montreal for $59). The nearest Metronorth train stop is in Poughkeepsie (one hour by Bard shuttle from Kline). Metronorth runs to New York City and throughout the greater New York area. Hitchhiking in this state is, alas, illegal, and students have been known to get arrested for it. Driving has historically been a reliable way of getting around the area. However, Red Hook and Tivoli police, while they don’t have a strong on-campus presence, are for real. An unhealthy number of students see (or can’t see) the blinking red lights in their rearview mirror each year. It doesn’t go without saying: they can smell your Coors light from a mile away--and don’t be riding dirty. Taxis can be surprisingly cost-effective and are a decent option if there’s no other way to get where to you want to go. An inebriated run from Tivoli or Red Hook to your doorstep costs about $10. If you want to travel around New England or beyond, buses are usually the way to go. Regional buses make stops near Bard, and you can catch a bus to just about anywhere in the US from Penn Station in New York. Red Hook / Tivoli • A Bard shuttle runs Mon through Wed from 8:00 - 12:30 am. Thurs 8:00 am - 1:48 am; Fri 8:00 am - 2:50 am; Sat 11:00 am - 2:50 am; Sun 11:00 am - 1:08 am. Rhinecliff and Poughkeepsie • The Bard shuttle goes from Kline to Rhinecliff to Poughkeepsie and vice versa 3 times Fri/Sat/Sun • The Dutchess County Loop Bus makes multiple trips Monday through Friday from Tivoli to Poughkeepsie. NYC • Cheapest: Bard shuttle to Poughkeepsie train station, Metronorth to Grand Central: $26.50 round
•
trip Fastest: TTI Motorcoach from Kline to Union Square ($27 one-way); or, Amtrak from Rhinecliff to Penn Station ($24-$46 one-way). Travel time is about two hours both ways.
Shopping • The Bard shuttle goes to the Kingston Mall every Wednesday, departing at 6:00 pm & returning at 9:00 pm. Also every Saturday, departure 2:00 pm, return 5:00 pm. • The Bard shuttle goes to the Woodbury Commons, an upscale retail outlet, once a semester. Taxi • A-1 Transportation: 845-473-7600
• • • • •
Red Hook Taxi: 845-758-1478 Rhinebeck Taxi: 845-876-6600 Tivoli-Bard Taxi: 845-705-4183 Chariot Taxi: 845-876-3000 OM Taxi: 845-417-7547
Trains • Metronorth: www.mta.nyc.ny.us • Amtrak: www.amtrak.com Regional Buses • Adirondack Trailways: www.trailwaysny.com • Shortline Bus: www.coachusa.com/shortline • Dutchess County Loop Bus: www.dutchessny.gov/
The Bard Rugby Football club began its season against Montclair State Sunday September 6th with a kickoff at 12:45 PM. Now that ten senior players have graduated, including team captain Joe Forsyth, the club is back to square one, with new players, a handful of last seasons young veterans, and one or two seniors to lead the way. This is the beginning of a new cycle for Bard Rugby, one it goes through every few years when seniors leave, new players sign up, and the remaining vets take their places as officers. The BRCF is fortunate to have a handful of fresh players to keep the club alive another season, veteran officers who’ve been tested on the pitch, and a returning alumni to coach them and train the initiates. That said, there is a downside to this renewal process especially this season when the BRCF will face its four toughest opponents: Montclair State, SUNY-Maritime, William Paterson and Rutgers, which are the four best teams in Bard’s division, every weekend for the next four weeks. All have been tough opponents that Bard has yet to win against. Though those teams will be undergoing their own fall reconstitutions, introducing new players to the sport and shuffling around the leadership, little would suggest this year’s teams will be any smaller or any less dangerous on the pitch. Many of Bard’s new players are untested, and so their first four games will be a baptism by fire. The BRCF prides itself on a low rate of attrition, having lost only two players last season from lack of interest. However, the threat of losing players not to injury, but morale, is weighing heavily on new captain and club president, Johnny Brennan. “I’m afraid the intensity of this season is going to scare some of them away,” said Brennan, “I’m afraid they’re going to get to their fourth match and say, ‘I’ve just had my ass kicked three times, I’m not having any fun.’” This year’s newer players seem ready to take on the club mantle and are eager to get into the work ahead. And they’ll have plenty of it this season; the game schedule is without a doubt the toughest and busiest in recent memory: eight games in eight weeks, with one bye-week in between and only an A line to do it all with, meaning almost no substitutions. To be competitive and keep up with the dogged pace of this year’s season, new players and veterans will be fighting to keep morale and energy at a level sufficient to keep up the club’s momentum. “Three things I want to do this season, especially with the new players: one: aggression, two: intelligence, three: conditioning,” said Brennan. “We are a smaller team, but if we’re fit enough, we can go into that 80th minute with more steam than our opponents.” The problems this season aren’t just on the field. This gym will no longer be waiving Club and Individual Participation Program or CIPP fees. The $30 charge is for health insurance in case a player is seriously injured in a game or in practice. No player can play without it. Brennan told the FREE PRESS that the Gym informed
him that the team did not have the adequate funds with which to pay the CIPP fees. BRFC members will have to pay out of pocket or else be barred from play. The gym did however pay the $150 fee to register the club. Physically, the team looks good. “The aggression they’re showing is wonderful. They are doing great in rucks and scrum drills,” said Brennan. The early practices have been promising but not without undesirable events. Hamza Hayauddin, a new player this season, broke his foot in practice during a drill. Doctors expect him to make a recovery in six to nine weeks. This brings to the surface another problem, a lack of replacements should a player be injured. Having only usually around 20 players at its disposal, the club can be forced at times to rearrange players midgame into positions that they’ve never played before. Injuries left over from last season also still haunt the BRFC’s playbook. Lock and forward Evan Neuwirth is still recovering from a shoulder injury sustained last season and is expected not to play until the second game of this season. Veteran player Sebastien Cendron returns this season after two semesters recovering from a torn ACL. Knee surgery was successful, but he will play with a knee brace. Brennan will be playing with braces on both knees as he still suffers from tendinitis in each. “As far as precautions, we don’t have any contingency plans if any one player gets hurt, we just do what we can with what we have,” said Brennan. This season also welcomes a new coach, Alumnus William Baylies who is taking over for Jon Nandor, who took over for Brian Wolf after being replaced by him two seasons ago. Playing for the BRCF in 1999, Baylies admits he wasn’t serious about the team untill he left Bard and returned some time later. “I remember being a freshman and being in my girlfriend’s bed the day of a game. They had to come drag me out to play,” said Baylies. “I was a total mess, as a lot of Bard kids are.” After returning home to California, Baylies attended community college and began to physically condition himself before he returned to Bard. “That’s really when I became a rugger, that first fall back,” said Baylies. Since graduating, Baylies has had kept up with the team and was contacted by former coach Brian Wolf last spring and asked if he’d be interested in coaching the men’s team. Baylies accepted the offer and began mapping out the season with club officers in August. His plans for the team are to get it as prepared as possible. “I want them to love the sport and to grow as men,” said Baylies. “But losing is just a fact of life when you play for Bard rugby.” Baylies does not have any illusions of what the first half of this years season will be like. “I think of the first half of our season as a challenge, I think by the second half we’ll really be ready,” he said. Baylies says he plans to help find a coach to replace him after coaching the team this season. “I don’t like the revolving door coach thing. I don’t want to let these guys down.”
11
time’s up
bardiverse
universe
10
you might not care about health insurance today, but when you get your diploma you’ll be singing a different tune by alex eriksen After months of rumors, attacks, and widespread public outcry, which have considerably obscured the debate, the final push for health care legislation is beginning. Rumors of death panels, rationed care, and government takeovers have beleaguered President Obama and his liberal Democratic base in Congress. As they return to the Capital, President Obama’s biggest challenge is to reorient the debate, put all myths to rest, mobilize Democrats and try and reach consensus with Republicans. In June, Obama made it clear that he wanted a bill passed quickly. However, minimal progress was made in the weeks before the congressional recess, and the White House began to feel the heat of public opinion. As congressmen returned to their home states they met an outraged public face-to-face in town-hall style meetings. Economic woes coupled with the fiery debate on health care and questions about the Afghan War caused Mr. Obama’s approval rating to dip significantly. To turn the rising tide of disapproval, Obama addressed a joint session of Congress during primetime on Sept. 9. Along with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., to speak in favor of a health care overhaul. He continued to call for a public option to compete with insurers, to pass laws that would make it illegal for insurers to drop their customers, and have it be required that every American, by law, have health insurance. He also borrowed an idea from his former rival for the presidency, Arizona senator John McCain, who suggested the creation of high-risk insurance pools to insure Americans with pre-existing conditions. The president may push a bipartisan agreement in favor of a Democrats-only health care bill. Called, budget reconciliation, the act would bypass the GOP, which would prove a dangerous act, damaging prospects of bipartisan agreement in the future. In order to pass a health care bill, the president may have to sacrifice his image as a bipartisan. Slogans on the President’s website such as “reform now” and “health care can’t wait” emphasize President Obama’s desire to get something on the books quickly and hammer out the details afterward. With the debate be-
ing forced to reboot, President Obama’s strategy has switched from speed, to thorough debate, and bipartisan agreement. This will prove to be tenuous, as President Obama was called a “liar” during his speech by Representative Joe Wilson, a Republican from South Carolina. President Obama was also booed by GOP members during his speech. Perhaps worse than the battle in the Senate is the one the President must face with the public. With a new price tag of $900 billion dollars over ten years, President Obama has perhaps avoided some of the anxiety associated with the word “trillion.” By lowering his initial estimate for what the reform would cost, Mr. Obama is appeasing Republicans and critics but alienating and upsetting long time supporters, who say the lower figure will not be enough to do what is necessary. In the wake of the corporate bailouts and the rescuing of the American Auto industry, Americans are showing visible concern at a deepening national budget deficit and are not assured that health care reform is now in their best interests. Obama in his speech pledged that reform would not add to the deficit. According to the latest data published by the U.S. Treasury, the current budget deficit is $11.8 trillion dollars. In his speech to Congress, Obama pledged to include a provision that “requires us to come forward with more spending cuts” if reform fails to save as much as believed. The measure is being referred to as the “deficit trigger.” He also vowed to keep his promise to not raise taxes on families making less than $250,000 and individuals making $200,000. However, his plan to sidestep this, a new tax or fee on health insurance companies for their most expensive policies is causing some apprehension among senate Democrats, labor unions, and insurers. They’re worried that the tax will trickle down in the form of higher premiums for employers and employees. A 35% tax on insurance companies that offer policies that cost more than $8,000 per individual and $21,000 per family. Americans who already pay an overwhelming amount of tax will be the prime source of revenue for health care reform. With so much confusion and public unrest over the bill, it’s likely the financing will be reworked in the
coming weeks. Perhaps the highest point of contention over the bill is whether or not to include a government public option to compete with private insurers. A government insurance plan would offer competitive pricing to Americans in order to lower insurance premiums. Critics have argued a public option would undermine the American principles of capitalism and a free market economy. By competing with insurers, the Government would dictate prices of insurance and thus control the market. Republicans staunchly oppose the public option, and nine out of ten Republican Senators on the Senate Finance Committee signed a letter to Mr. Obama in opposition to its inclusion in any bill. “Washington-run programs undermine marketbased competition through their ability to impose price controls and shift costs to other purchasers,” the letter said. “Forcing free market plans to compete with these government-run programs would create an unlevel playing field and inevitably doom true competition.” Republican proposals have called for allowing private insurers to compete nationally for customers. Currently, insurance companies are restricted to rules that vary from state to state, and Americans are allowed only to buy insurance from companies operating in the state in which they live. Democrats and the President have consistently blocked Republican proposals to let private insurers compete nationally, in favor of plans that would introduce more government control. Republican proposals to allow Americans to buy private insurance with tax benefits, in the same way employers can buy insurance for employees with significant tax breaks, has likewise been stonewalled by senate Democrats and the President. President Obama is facing tough pressure from each side of the debate, the left demanding the public option be included, and the right insisting its omission. In his speech Wednesday, he was decidedly vague about what role the public option will have, saying it was only a “part” of the larger plan. Democrats reiterated last week before the final push began that a public option is essential to any legislation. “A bill without a strong public option will not pass the House,” said Ms. Pelosi. In
the same statement, reported by the New York Times, Ms. Pelosi said “any real change” will be thanks to a strong public option and that its surrender to Republican pressures would signal “a major victory for the health insurance industry.” In addition to Ms. Pelosi’s words, Vice chairman of the House Democratic Caucus, Representative Xavier Becerra of California, reiterated the importance of a government run health care plan to effect real change. Mr. Obama also received a letter from the Congressional Black Caucus with like sentiments over the public option and continues to feel pressure from the Congressional Progressive Caucus to stand up for the public option. Accusations that a Government insurance plan will cover the young and not the old has generated the “Death Panel” rumors, which have been used to attack both the Democrat reform efforts and Obama. “It is a lie, plain and simple,” he said in his speech to congress, prompting Republicans to boo him. 60,000 seniors have dropped out of the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) in response to the organization’s support for health care reform. Those who have defected feel a massive overhaul of the health care system will lead to rationing of care and draconian government bureaucracy. While no “death board” is outlined in any of the legislation in question, seniors feel that having to go through a government system may be as good as a death sentence. Their fears have been dismissed by the administration but with estimates of the number of uninsured Americans below the age of 65 being as high as 47 million, seniors can easily imagine themselves on the chopping block should a new system fail to live up to its huge expectations. Response to allegations that tax money could be used to cover abortions has also fueled the fire of the debate. Though both parties agree that health care must be reformed, they disagree over the extent of this reform. Both would like to see a reduction in wasteful spending, fraud, an end to dropped insurance coverage, and coverage for the uninsured. The Obama administration is attempting to reach across the aisle with tort law reform and other incentives but again the issue
of price is the major bone to be settled between Republicans and Democrats. Bipartisan agreement remains shaky. “What we have also seen in these last months is the same partisan spectacle that only hardens the disdain many Americans have toward their own government. Instead of honest debate, we have seen scare tactics,” Mr. Obama said, letting blame rest with the GOP and ignoring disagreements within his own party. With only Maine Republican Senators Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins in the pro-reform camp, a difficult road is still ahead till any kind of agreement is reached. The rest of the Republican party is united in opposing a quick passage of the health care bill. “House Republicans want to hear what the President has to say, but after the public outcry this August, it’s clear the American people don’t want a new speech. They want a new plan,” said House Republican leader, Representative John A. Boehner in an article published by The New York Times. As the debate reaches its final stages, the most difficult test for President Obama still lies ahead. If a bill is passed without public or congressional consensus, it will exhaust his political credit and doom any chance of achieving the goals of his domestic policy: climate change legislation and further regulation of the financial industry. Jim DeMint, Republican Senator of South Carolina, early in the debate dubbed the President’s efforts “his Waterloo,” implying a humiliating and breaking defeat may be in store should the health care debate collapse completely. Rationed care, new costs, new taxes, penalties for small businesses, increased national deficit, loss of jobs, and dropped coverage are just a portion of the list of worries dissenters are bringing to the Obama administration and the Democratic congress. What direction the debate will now take will certainly captivate the nation in the coming weeks and if the president is unable to coerce Congress and the American public, he can expect his popularity and his ability to accomplish his initiatives to be significantly weakened.
shotgun that beer asshole punk rock prom in albuquerque by emily mcmaster Were you aware that 98% of Bard’s student body spends at least one semester away? That’s approximately three-thirds of the people who don’t hold the door open for you at Kline. Roughly half of the people that spend too much time ordering in DTR. It is at least one hundred percent of those who throw up on the shuttle. This semester may be spent studying abroad. This semester could be spent, once again, cursing the day that Brown rejected you. Either way, most of us will find ourselves away from our new woodsy home and yearning to return. In the meantime, you have to make do. How am I choosing to ease my nostalgia? By recreating one of Bard’s best parties, of course. I’m talking about Punk Rock Prom. This was not as easy as it sounds. See, outside of the Bard vocabulary exists words like “underage,” “noise complaint,” “indecent exposure,” and the horrid “law.” Outside of the Bard bubble, it is difficult to find the lawlessness that is SMOG, even if you’re in the Wild Wild West. To make it even more challenging, I was attempting to construct this event in a city whose police department has its own dispatch for cracking down on parties. That’s right, The Party Patrol. It’s a real thing, with decaled cars to prove it. First, I needed a lineup. So, for the next two weeks I slyly, perhaps with a wink or two, convinced bands to join the bill. Instead of setting up a polite email sign-up sheet like The Root Cellar does, I popped up at various social gatherings and pitched my ideas to a few local bands. You want to be The Misfits? Check. Ziggy Stardust? You all best practice. Johnny Thunders? Wait, aren’t you 17? Shit, okay. I do have a JT tattoo so yes. Billy Bragg? Yes, please. Alkaline Trio? Goddamn it. Fine, only because we’re dating. This should go smoothly, I thought. Nope. Of course I had to book the city’s most infamous band. This is a band of such epic proportions they could only be called Grand Canyon. They are that band that you love to spend time with, but never in your own house. Albuquerque’s own mistress of a musical act. Imagine The Friends’ hype, then wrap it in confetti, stuff it in a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and break it over your best friends forehead. That is the band, reputation included, I chose to headline for my already seemingly impossible recreation. They agreed to be The Clash. This tripled my liability. Second, I needed a location. As previously mentioned, no one in their right mind was eager to host this party. After a few beer-soaked brainstorming sessions, a friendly neighborhood fixie offered us his backyard. He is an artist, you see. But oh wait, it was right off Central Ave, across the street from a Lutheran Church. With no more possibilities, and five hundred plus invitees, we had no choice but to choke back our fear and chase it with a few high-fives. I now had a line-up for every taste, The Baskin Robbins of punk rock. I had a location thanks to an angel who rode a sparkly bike. I had a flyer. I had a Facebook event I could rarely look at on my weak stomach. I had dozens of balloons emblazoned with punk rock taglines like classics “Gabba Gabba Hey!” and “I Fought the Law” to some new interpretations like “Fuck the Lord” and “Shotgun that beer asshole.” Most importantly, and thanks to The Clash, we had a makeshift confetti machine constructed from an old leaf blower. It was full to the brim with confetti, glitter, cocoa powder and fruity pebbles. Let the festivities begin. And begin they did. Slowly and awkwardly. The event was scheduled to begin at 6:00 PM, and it turns out Bard kids’ lack of punctuality had somehow manifested itself in Albuquerque as well. We stood around, dressed to the nines, making small talk and taking photographs. I never went to real prom, but my gut told me this was a very similar experience. The sun set upon our red and black streamers, dangling from the trees like a vandal’s toilet paper, and it happened. It was like a swarm of locusts; instead of the haunting flutter of wings, it was the screeching of bike tires that stopped our hearts from a distance. The party had arrived in Doc Martens, torn dresses, and an assortment of bowties only Botstein could challenge. Old English seals were broken instead of hearts. The music was roaring. The red light was piercing. I was not wearing pants. The night was appearing to be a complete success when the APD arrived. Patroling parties, like they do. I was not shaking in my Converse, however, because we had firmly secured our city-issued noise permit to the fence with four shiny staples. These staples were not as fool-proof as first thought. In fact, our noise permit was very easily torn down by a fist belonging to no other than The Man. Then I understood that old proveb: you can debt the girl out of Bard, but you cannot debt the Bard out of the girl. I truly felt my Bardian spirit fire up as I stood in my garter belt, negotiating with the police to keep the party alive. We had a chuckle, we even had a handshake because yes sir, we could turn down the PA a notch and yes sir, we would. His side-smirk told me that he too once Rocked the Casbah. In conclusion, it turns out the Albuquerque and Annandale are not so different after all. Sure, we don’t have any DMT labs but we have an array of others specializing in meth. Sure, the Rio Grande is how you say, “full of dirt,” unlike the exquisite Hudson. Nevertheless, both of these majestic places are full of rowdy troublemakers who will take their pants off and put on an epic concert if given the initiative. Plus, I ended the night in a fiery, albeit inebriated, debate over Marx and Weber while still in my undies. Bard’s spirit had officially made an appearance in Albuquerque and hopefully it will again. Surrealist Circus, anyone?
it’s not you, it’s me
13
taking time off from bard by joey sims
At Bard, taking time off during your four years has become a common practice. While announcing that you’re taking a semester to tour with your band might inspire weird looks at Yale or Columbia, here taking a leave of absence is an accepted (if not expected) practice. That contrast reflects a difference in the Bard ethos and the Bard student. However, while time off can be the perfect solution for some, for others it can prove disastrous--not to mention that many will never make it back to Bard. At least 10% of each class takes more than four years to graduate,” says Peter Gadsby, registrar at the college for the past twenty years. “At most institutions across the country, that figure is more like 1%.” Gadsby confirms that “it is unusual. We have higher figures in that area than any other institution in our peer group.” The Bard administration views this practice as one of the school’s great strengths. Gadsby says Bard has “always tried hard not to be in mass production,” and adds that, “there is nothing magical about four years.” President Leon Botstein agrees, insisting: “There is no such thing as time off. The only distinction is whether one is in school in a formal sense, or whether one is spending time learning and thinking no matter what one is officially doing with one’s time.” Reflecting this viewpoint from the top, requests for a leave of absence from Bard are never denied – anyone who chooses to leave will be welcomed back if and when they decide to return. For many Bard students, this policy has proved a blessing. One student, class of 2010--who preferred to remain anonymous--took a semester off to travel to Costa Rica and Nicaragua. While traveling he taught English, picked coffee beans, and climbed a volcano. Having now returned to Bard, he says, “It was the right choice, and after the break, I felt better about diving into classes again.” A class of 2011 student, who also preferred anonymity, joined the National Outdoor Leadership School and went mountaineering and sea kayaking through Pata-
Joke around, joke around
behind the scenes at bard #1
by emily gui second year since Bard students and Pam Davis, the director, created the camp) the program received a grant from the 21st Century Community Learning Centers, a government-funded program. This made the camp free for the campers and their families. The camp acts in some ways as a disguised summer school. It helps catch the kids up to national standards in math, science, and “Story Club” (Literacy) through a curriculum built by Bard students and in a fun setting. However, that aside, it is also camp, and so the kids engage in a lot of arts and crafts as well as sports and theater. While building a lesson plan for a large group of energetic children is not easy, it also gives the counselors a lot of freedom, freedom to say, have a commemorative Michael Jackson Dance Party- or have water day at the park and bang on cans and boxes in our garbage orchestra. “You have to put on different lenses at different times of the day,” Emily said. “At camp, while planning for camp, at home, with counselors, with individual campers, and with the group. It’s perfect for college students because we’re constantly transitioning anyway.” “Keg stands and studying,” added Maureen. I asked Philip Berezney what the funniest thing that happened to him this summer was and he recalled that on one of our fun days, a field trip to see Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince, he sat outside with one camper DeJohn, 5, for the entire movie. DeJohn
leaves. “For people with scholarships or a lot of financial aid, it is inconceivable,” she says. (These students run the risk of losing their aid, making time off a huge risk to their future at Bard.) Though hesitant to comment on patterns in race or gender, Nohlgren did note, “Generally Asian or Asian-American students have a particular goal, destination and timeline. They leave to continue their education, rather than put it on hold.” Does the administration worry that its liberal policies could be abused? Nohlgren says no. “I think the fact that Bard allows for that is a great thing. We presume you’re an adult.” President Botstein agrees, though he cautions, “Feeling that one needs time off is not always the best indicator. Often that feeling is better satisfied by studying something else.” The story of Elaine A. Levin, class of 1966, shows the downside of Bard’s willingness to grant leaves. “I dropped out because I was young and inexperienced and did not have the guidance that would have kept me on the right track. I wish that I had been contacted and re-recruited to return to Bard. I would have returned in a heartbeat,” she said. Sometimes leaves lead students to decide that Bard is not the right fit for them. One student--originally in the class of 2009--took a leave when their best friend from home died in an accident. This student comments, “So I took a leave of absence just to ‘sort things out.’ My time off made me realize that I really wanted to go to culinary school. I actually really loved Bard, but I had to go elsewhere to study what really made me happy.” For better or worse, it seems clear that taking time off is part of the character of Bard. Even nearly a century ago, Bard students were coming and going--around half the classes of 1910, 1911, and 1912 are listed as leaving the college at some point. Somehow it makes perfect sense that of all the traditions Bard students might cherish, we hold on to a desire sometimes to take a break from Bard.
catching up with john watkins
bard nola summer camp, summer #2 “To me this isn’t summer camp,” reflects Maureen Crittenden, a head organizer of “Camp Snowball,” which is one of Bard’s projects in the Broadmoor neighborhood of post-Katrina New Orleans. “It’s not Camp Sunshine at this Resort with, like, a rockclimbing wall,” she says. And it’s true, Camp Snowball is not like that at all, nor was it like any camp experience I ever had as a child. This summer, 40 Bard students lived in one big house in New Orleans and ran this unique camp. I sat down with Emily Wolff and Maureen Crittenden and tried to reflect on what was so good about this summer, even when the work was extremely intense--both emotionally and physically draining. “It’s really hard. I wasn’t kidding when I said there would be kids hitting you and spitting on you,” said Emily. But at the same time I have to maintain that the kids we worked with in New Orleans were the funniest, smartest, and most genuine children that I have ever met. Getting to be a stable, loving adult to these children who have experienced more turbulence than most of us have in our lifetimes was remarkable. Camp Snowball is not like the summer camps that we all may have attended as kids because its camper’s childhoods are so different than ours were. The project is almost completely student run and therefore people like Emily and Maureen learned how to completely create and direct a summer camp of 100 kids through trial and error. This year (the
gonia in southern Chile for three months. He recounts, “We scaled mountains and explored ice fjords, and I have never experienced more satisfaction in my life. Now when the world in Annandale-On-Hudson begins to feel like it’s too much, I can step back, close my eyes and feel that joy atop the mountains, the pain of my shortcomings, the satisfaction of my own hard work, and remember that someday this will all be over.” For both of those Bardians, time off meant personal accomplishment without any academic pressure. Others, however, have less choice in taking time off from Bard. Blanche Norman, class of 1991, took two non-consecutive semesters off for back surgery. Karen Briefer-Gose, class of 1984, was forced to take a “really awful” semester off for financial reasons. And then there is Alan Potkin, originally class of 1966, who was “drafted kicking and screaming” to fight in Vietnam. After a 30-month stint in the conflict, Potkin returned to Bard and graduated with the class of 1970. For his senior project, Potkin wrote “a collection of thinly fictionalized reportage” recounting his wartime experiences. His experience left Potkin a vehement opponent of voluntary leaves of absence. “Nobody should start college, especially an expensive private liberal arts paradise, without committing totally to see it through to a BA without dropping out or any other bullshit.” Potkin’s views are not atypical of the older generations. He and others remember times when you only left college if you had to, not for personal reasons. Debbie Baker, class of 1976, speaks to this perspective. “Financially, [Bard] was a strain for my family...No pocket money. No part-time jobs on campus...I came home, found work, and the lure of a paycheck was very strong….Today I’m 55, and would love to spend a few years at Bard.” Bethany Nohlgren, Assistant Dean and Director of the First-Year experience, has handled leave of absence requests for six years. In that time she has noted some patterns--specifically amongst those who don’t request
didn’t want to see the movie because he adamantly believed that it was the same as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone which he had seen “hundreds of times.” Philip and DeJohn sat outside on the floor of the movie theater while DeJohn taught Philip some songs he made up. “What kind of vegetables do you like? I like carrots. I like peas. I don’t like carrots, I hate carrots. He likes to joke around. Joke around. Joke around.” After two hours of such entertainment, the movie ended and the other kids started to come out of the theater. DeJohn started to cry and turning to Philip said, ‘I told you I might want to go back in there,” suddenly jealous of the other kids despite all the fun the two of them had. So that’s what happened in New Orleans this summer: 40 Bard kids, living in a haunted mansion, cooking dinner together every night, getting to explore arguably the best city in the country, running a summer camp, and becoming friends with the most incredible group of children I have ever met. If you want to get involved, which I highly recommend, talk to either Emily, Maureen, Lindsay St. Onge, Siena Evans or anyone else who was there this summer. There will be meetings in the TLS office about next summer, and look for emailed announcements.
by sofia pia belenky The FREE PRESS is beginning a new “Behind the Scenes at Bard” interview series, where we interview the people who make everything work. They are often underappreciated, so we took it upon ourselves to interview workers we know, catch up with them, and learn a little about them. John Watkins works in Fisher Studio Arts as the Aramark custodian, but mostly the off-hours-all-around-helper. You can always catch up with him there, where he will be helping you carry the really tall ladder, sweeping up a mess you made carving woodblocks while you were off searching for a broom of your own, helping you find an electrical outlet splitter, and just being incredibly friendly and cheerful. Our reporter Sofia Pia spoke with him just in time for the September issue.
FP: How long have you worked at Bard? John: In October it will be my 17th year.
Have you always worked in the art building? 16 of the 17 years. They tried switching people around and it didn’t work so they put everybody back. Where did you work for that one year? Warden’s Hall and Albee basement.
Well, we are glad you’re [in the art building]. What is your favorite part about working in Fisher? I like to see the art that the students make. I like to get to know the students. Once you get to know them, you’re friends with them. What was one of the most memorable art pieces? There was a lady a couple of years ago. She did this Burger King thing. She made this huge hamburger. What?! She made 2x4s as French fries. It was really awesome.
Speaking of hamburgers, what is your favorite food? I like anything that has to do with pasta. I had pasta for dinner tonight. Do you live nearby? In Red Hook Thanks!
john sitting outside fisher, also in a student film
bardiverse
bardiverse
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ROVING REPORTER photos & layout by ezra glenn text by real ppl
WHAT ARE YOU MOST EXCITED FOR AT BARD THIS YEAR?¿? ¿? ¿? ¿?
summer’z gone. move ovr wtrmln.
Probably letting my brain swell to four times its current size.
I’m excited to be back at Bard becase the Hudson Valley has fewer people in the summertime.
“The Smog”? Or “Smog”? That’s my fave. Ionic columns!
Splash.
Growth. Hopefully getting converted back into an ashtray. I mean becoming a defacto garbage can just because people are lazy is an obvious downgrade, you know?
Being wispy. Taking a ride on your disco stick.
Lucky Charms.
I’m excited for the loads of reading I have to do.
Being peed on.
Hookups at Manor Parties? Hookups at the Taylor Swift concert! Absolutely nothing.
Woof. Ain’t talkin’ bout no farm. Metaphotically fucking Freshman biddies.
PANDAS, WIZARDS, AND PENNYLOAFERS, OH MY. THE FREE PRESS GOT THE INTERVIEW HOOKUPS WITH THE [YOUNG] MAN BEHING THE POLYESTER....................... A A few few days days ago ago we we saw saw him him wearing wearing some some sort sort of of genie genie costume. costume. Now Now he he is is aa panda. panda. Who Who is is this this kid, kid, where where did did he he come come from from and and why, why, oh oh why, why, is is he he so so awesome? awesome? He He even even has has two two super super cool cool big big sisters, sisters, Eve Eve and and Abby, Abby, and and his his dad dad is is Professor Professor Romm Romm of of the the classics classics department! department! The The FREE FREE PRESS PRESS investigates. investigates. FP: FP: Why Why are are you you wearing wearing that that panda panda suit? suit? Jonah: Jonah: II just just am. am. II saw saw you you at at the the Indian Indian restaurant restaurant yesyesterday, terday, II think, think, and and you you were were wearing wearing aa different different outfit. outfit. Yeah. Yeah. II was was aa wizard. wizard. Do Do you you want want to to be be in in the the newspaper? newspaper? Sure. Sure. II can can dance dance too. too.
I’m probably gonna kill myself this winter. I totally forsee it.
Creating landfills!
I haven’t been home in three years. I’m excited to see my parents at convocation.
Let Let me me see. see. [Flash [Flash Dance Dance in in front front of of Kline.] Kline.] Whoa. Whoa. Did Did you you get get those those shoes shoes for for backbackto-school? to-school? Nope. Nope. Eve: Eve: Jonah, Jonah, you you are are going going to to be be in in the the newspaper. newspaper. Jonah: Jonah: II know! know!
Being sat on!
Do Do you you often often dress dress up up in in cool cool outfits? outfits? Eve: Eve: Like Like everyday. everyday. It’s It’s like like regular regular clothes clothes [for [for him]. him]. Jonah: Jonah: II don’t don’t even even notice notice it. it.
I don’t really know about Bard that much. Doing my senior project?
Are Are you you overheated? overheated? No. No. II could could take take off off my my hood. hood. Please Please don’t. don’t. Put Put itit back back on. on. What What did did you you do do over over he he summer? summer? Got Got aa haircut. haircut. And And went went to to nature nature camp. camp.
PUT OUT, PUT UP AND SHUT UP In light of the past three “sex opinions” featured in the May 2009 edition of Bard Free Press, I’d like to remain anonymous as well, not because I’m going to talk about how hotand-bothered I am or my mission to “get my babbie wet” (“babbie”? Really?)--cause yeah, I own a vagina, but am disturbed by that phrase. As a “lesbian” I think we’d have great angry misogynistic-retaliation sex, but other than that I hope you know that you successfully cock-blocked every smart and hot girl on campus. Well done! You see, I’m for team poonan, I shave my armpits, I don’t give a fuck about the “phallic” dominance in today’s society, nor do I claim to be of lower standing simply because I’m a woman. The Free Press issued in May sent people to Kline to talk about the anonymous horny and bitter bitches, and I am taking a stand on the REAL problem with having sex and relationships at Bard. Because the truth is, we’ve metaphorically plugged our secret lover’s name in our Ti-89 calculator in math class, watched the screen blink “SYNTAX: ERROR”, and slipped into a sentimental K-hole of suppressed emotions and a desire to be spooned to the soundtrack of The Notebook. Well cheer up buttercup, cause I’m here for you: It’s college, I have time to fuck but I don’t have time to fuck around. I’m not a “relationship” type-o’-gal, nor think I should be within a 50 mile radius of some people, but after a recent encounter with the “love-game,” I’ve realized that Lady GaGa knows her shit when it comes to getting some love and some ass at Bard. Unlike the three opinions featured in the May sex column, I won’t rant about my vagina checking itself into rehab, nor do I wait and slobber over the thought of getting laid. ‘Cause oh-wait! There are other things to think about; I like to call them “priorities in life.” If sex is a priority in your life, great, but maybe you should try to stop bitching to your girlies and flocking together in pursuit of heterosexual males in a fucking V-formation like you’re in D2: The Mighty Ducks. Don’t worry Emilio Desperate-evez, there’s a lid for every jar. Or a vibrator in every color. Pick your fave, girlfriend! I’m not trying to pursue a “disco stick”--simply because the image of me riding a giant neon glo-stick while on Ecstacy is disturbing-and I’m not trying to see how quickly I could pass swine-flu around on a Friday night at Smog. This is a real epidemic: relationships are doomed to fail at Bard. Don’t believe me? Try it. You’ll cry yourself to sleep while your roommate is fucking the only person you ever loved. Bard students (not a generalization, but a good percentage) are shameless when it comes to sexual cravings. Nothing is offlimits, hardly anyone seem to comprehend “morals” or “guilt,” and every weekend seems like a fucked-up episode of the Real World. Perhaps you’re representing the minority of students who looks at themselves in the mirror every morning and says “Being Alone Rules!” I’m proud of your self-esteem-boosting routine, but put your big girl panties on and deal with reality. Watch Dr. Phil--still happy knowing a 12-year old got laid before you did? According to May’s sex column, it’s college, and we should be throwing wild parties, handing out rufies like Health Services hands out cough drops, and “getting our brains fucked out.” I have no idea who you are, but if I knew, I would find you and slap you (in a friendly way) for making the feminine species at Bard look so desperate. I bet you’re smart, hey--you can read! Maybe you like kayaking, scrapbooking, perhaps watching Rachel Ray, and eating your life away because you just want someone to be the Gerry to your Holly and experience college according to the P.S. I Love You plot. Enough of the crude bluntness, but here is my real life advice: don’t cheat yourself out of a good experience. Life is hard but it is good. Sadistic manipulation is not OK; you will be alone in life for how you treat people. Worried you can’t reflect what they say about these being the best four years of your life? Fuck expectations. Do what you want and don’t let anyone change who you are. Ha--just remembered an episode of Lizzie MaGuire writing in her bff’s yearbook: You Rock. Never Change. Look what happened to Hilary Duff; she didn’t listen to herself and became a huge slut. Remember guys, cover your viper before you pipe her. Signing out, A.
FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP new fp news editors’ bulletin FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP FP
Dear Readers, In this issue, you will notice a few changes and improvements to the paper. It is a new year and a new staff, which means new ways of doing things. The FREE PRESS is excited to feature the work of a senior studio arts or photography major each issue on our cover. Thanks to Elvia Pyburn-Wilk, we’ve started off the year with a great woodblock print and hope to continue receiving work from seniors or working personally with them to design the cover. Next issue, Carla Perez-Gallardo will be working with us. I am very excited for this, as she is a wonderful and talented artist. A few more exciting things we have debuting in this issue include our “behind the scenes at bard” interview series with staff. This month we bring you John Watkins, an incredibly friendly and helpful custodian who works in the Studio Arts building. We’re also adding roving reporter, many more music reviews, more doodlies and great arty pics. The FP has already started collaborating with dedicated and creative fresh layout staff and we have a number of new writers as well—some serious, some snarky. Also, we have divine and knowledgeable staff writers who write pretty well and can guide the young guns who would like to start the next FP generation. If being new and fresh with us sounds appealing, send an e-mail to us at bardfreepress@gmail. com. I would say stop by our office anytime and say hello, but I won’t, because it is moldy and poisonous in here. We are also adding a little box to the second page that essentially says, if you submit things to us, we are allowed to correct your poor spelling and grammar to make your article coherent. Do not flip out: we will never change the content to skew the meaning of your article, but in the real world, newspapers edit submissions and their writers are OK with that deal. We will still do things like print DMT recipes and co-sponsor sweaty parties like the one with The Remedy at Smog on 9/12. This may mean that we print even more coherent and easy to read DMT recipes. There is a lot to look forward to. Spoilers: this issue is really great. Look to the stars, sincerely, Emily Diamond
Illusions, Gender, and Empowerment in Paintball the more subtle facets of paintball by aaron dean Paintball. How does this word make you feel? Too often this word conjures images of hillbillies talking about ‘Nam or the naked fools on Jackass. To some paintball is an attitude, to others a game of expression; for me it’s been a saving grace. It’s given me faith in humanity at times when I needed it most, like in Middle School. As with other sports, paintball is driven by communication, without which, every sport loses its flare and meaning. The point of any game is to struggle to seek empowerment for the individual and the team. You share a bond, one of internal and external struggle; you witness feats of the will. In paintball your focus is not on a ball or goal, but rather it’s on the human beings trying to test your character. Your opponents are there to empower you; they present the challenge of teamwork, often with little or no resentment. While the trait of empowerment exists in all sports, the variety here is different. Paintball is not a sport of hierarchy. No one can take all the glory. There is no focal player of the game, no power hitter, no quarterback, and interestingly--no male or female. The mechanics of the game allow for men and women to compete on the same level. Success in this arena comes with a balance of defense and offense. It’s about using your body to connect
the minds of your team, scrambling for advantageous istic idea of what combat is. I’d be a terrible soldier for so angles, and holding fast until the other team makes a many reasons. Consider, for instance, taking orders. These mistake. Gender has no real effect on this or any other part of the game. People do things you never thought they had in them. The quiet bookish girl will become a lioness, calculating and in charge; she will bring home the bacon. She leads others to take on unforeseen challenges. The charismatic athlete will, to everyone’s surprise, whine and waver until he gets shot. Watching this from behind the protective netting of our paintball field is gratifying. You should try it. Millions of women play this game. The element of possibility here is often overlooked. I didn’t think about it much until I played with an organized, professional women’s team in Acapulco called “LTZ Destiny.” For these women, the game isn’t a reflection of male domination in the world. They put men in their place on a regular basis. Many consider this game a reflection of male domination and war. However this analysis is shallow. Paintball may look like war, but it isn’t primal or brutal like other sports. How much real war experience do you have anyway? My experience ends with war and action films. Paintball drawing by staff illustrator issa revell hasn’t prepared me for war. Instead it’s given an unreal-
don’t exist in paintball. I have talked to soldiers who laughed when I asked them, “Does paintball replicate the realities of combat?” Could we assume the reverse, that real war might prepare you for the productive challenge of paintball instead? While the “markers” (proper term) may often be referred to as “guns,” their purpose is not for destruction. They create trust bonds instead of war bonds. Before making any assumptions you should play the game, because unlike in war, you will definitely survive. In fact, in the 28 years the game has existed not one person has died from playing the game. It’s statistically safer than bowling[1]. Personally the game has shown me just how vulnerable I am to war and oppression. When I play I am nothing without my team’s support. Practicing our ability to organize and communicate is essential in dealing with changes both on and off the field. Getting shot with a paintball is easy. I can’t imagine how easy it is to be shot with a real bullet, one that travels six times faster and is accurate enough to cut a playing card in half. This kind of projectile destroys families and ruins infrastructure. Paintballs can’t do this. However they can make you bond with each other, and they can make your life feel precious by creating the illusion of danger. Many people enjoy this illusion; paintball has been organized in leagues worldwide for some time now. I believe bringing this activity and its virtues to colleges would compliment much of what we learn and create a powerful
new student network. In fact it’s already happening. The National Collegiate paintball Association is revolutionizing the sport by organizing nearly 500 collegiate paintball clubs. There website is worth a gander, http://www. college-paintball.com. Our website, www.bardpaintball. com is also worth your time. The very implement that represents war to many brings men and women closer to communicating under pressure, gives them courage, and creates trust. Are these things not the basis for intimacy? These components are integral to combating much of the oppression we face today. Could it be that the biggest threat to peace (war) might contain the seeds of its demise? Could the bonding, communication, and courage necessary for peace be harvested from a game like paintball? I’ve seen individuals with a history of violence (attracted to the medium) become more confident in their ability to communicate through this game, forming more intimate relations with their friends, family, and partners. What might the game do for you? Would other players work to empower you? How would you reciprocate? -------[1] http://www.paint-ball.org/safety_report.htm
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op/ed
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fine dining
some tomatoes are too round for their own good farmstand consumer reports by abby ferla As the Fall harvest begins to come in, we’d all do best to remember that buying locally not only supports responsible and sustainable agriculture and farming, but that it also just tastes better. I for one have recently learned that several foods that I formally thought were tasteless, are in reality delicious. Tomatoes, for instance, should be sweet, tangy and bold in taste. Lettuce should have a bitter, earth-like flavor to it. Farm-stand foods are vine-ripened and fresh. Unlike the cucumbers in the supermarket, the ones at farm stands have not traveled hundreds of miles on a truck and pack an exceptional crunch. I find that people often seem reluctant to buy from local growers, because it’s either “too expensive” or inconvenient. However, if you frequent farmer’s markets and farm stands, you might be pleasantly surprised to discover that buying produce locally can be just as cost-efficient as shopping at Hannaford’s. As for the convenience factor, the FREE PRESS has taken the liberty of scoping out the local stands for you. Right now peaches, plums, tomatoes, and corn are in season, but soon the stands will also be brimming with apples, squashes, and beans. When exploring the stands, also be on the lookout for “second picks,” which are slightly over-ripened or blemished fruits and vegetables. These are not only less expensive but are perfect for pies, jams, sauces, or those who just like mushy fruit. Montgomery Place Orchards The Montgomery Place stand showcases a wide variety of produce and local products. While the kale and beets are a few dollars more expensive than those in the stores, the peppers are five for $2 and its cornucopia of apple varieties run at supermarket prices but with the added crunch and flavor that comes with being fresh off the tree. Take your pick from honey crisp apples (firm and sweet, run at $1.49/lb), swiss gourmet ($1.29/lb), and the delightfully tart Pink Pearl Apples (antique apples with a bubble-gum pink flesh running at $1.49/lb). Tomato connoisseurs will be excited to know that the stand stocks a whopping seven different varieties of flavorful heirloom tomatoes for $2.99 a pound. I assure you that they are approximately 17.6 times better than greenhouse tomatoes, deliciously malformed, and well worth the extra cost. In way of the more upscale items, the stand sells a beautiful bounty of butters, ranging from peach to pumpkin, as well as homemade pasta, delicious homemade hard cider, meat from Awesome Farm in Tivoli, and dairy from Ronybrook Farms--including a coffee milk that might be a good grab before 9:00 AM classes. Migorelli Farms
Produce runs a little pricier on items like peaches and plums at Migiorelli farms, but if you’re the kind of Bardian who dreams about Swiss Chard quiche and considers kale to be a breakfast food, their offering of greens is sure to delight. It has everything from mustard greens to cilantro to leeks for only $2 a bunch. With less tomato varieties than the other stands, Migiorelli farms does sell canning tomatoes at a fair price. Where the stand excels most, however, is in their specialty items such as creamed and spun honey for $5 a pint (buying local honey helps support healthy bee-keeping practices and is the only way to ensure that your honey hasn’t had all of its healthy enzymes boiled out it in the pasteurization process), fresh baked breads, pies, imported Sicilian olive oil, and Palentine cheese for $4 a block (This cheese is made right here in the Hudson Valley, and if you haven’t had the garlic chedder yet, you’re missing out). Hegeman’s With the largest range of produce products of the three reviewed stands, you can find cheaper-than-Hannaford’s prices for potatoes, onions, cucumbers, and spinach at the Hegeman’s Farms stand. The stand also sells my very favorite kind of apple, the Ginger Gold. They sell meat products from Mountain Products smokehouse, affordable smoked cheeses, and hundreds (or maybe just dozens) of candles. Their local honey is incredibly wallet-friendly. You can buy a pound for $4.95, or--if you’re looking to make bulk granola--five pounds for only $14.95. Their barbecue sauce and Granny Blossom’s salsa look enticing and are no more expensive than anything you would find in the grocery store but are probably a hundred times more delicious.
we investigate on the convocation fund’s dime
by becca webb
There is, however, still no maximum price or amount of cookies you can order. As far as I can tell, as long as there’s dough, they’ll do it. S n M Cookies offers two flavors: Chocolate Chip and Oatmeal Coconut. There are also two size options: small cookies, which cost one dollar and large cookies, which are, well, very large, that cost two dollars. When asked how they produce ready to order cookies that are still warm (and they are) when delivered to customers in Red Hook, Tivoli, and on Bard campus alike, Sophia and Marie make it seem like no biggie. The two lean back in their chairs as they answer and give me looks as if to say, “it’s cookies, not rocket science.” They just keep the oven on all night and have friends who help them from time to time. The dough is made fresh each day and waits in the fridge until the orders come in. Occasionally they run out, but people are usually pretty understanding. We are students, Marie reminds me. They are. I seemed to have forgotten this. They aren’t masterminds at all really, or even great entrepreneurs, or to my knowledge even business majors, just girls who like to bake. They two have no definite timeline hashed out in terms of how long they’ll stay in business. While everything is
by allison brainard Have you ever been in Kline within the three minutes before class started and just needed something to eat but there were too many people in your way doing stupid and rude things and generally just ruining your life? I propose this guide to the proper way to behave in these situations. If we all read and learn it, things might be just a bit easier for everyone. Select a bagel. Try not to touch every single one with your germy hands. This is gross. After you have selected the bagel, place the bagel in the bagel guillotine and slice it in half. If all that this does is squish the bagel, use the knife but BE CAREFUL, as you could cut yourself. Always use caution in the Bagel Zone. Sometimes, you just want half a bagel. Sometimes, that extra bagel half will be waiting special just for you. Sometimes you will have to cut a new bagel. Place the bagel halves or half into the toaster. Turn the toast/bagel dial towards bagel, but BE RESPECTFUL. Sometimes if people are in a rush or just have bread in the toaster, you will have to keep in mind that turning the dial to bagel makes the toaster belt go much slower. If it is 8:57 AM on a Monday, keep the dial towards toast. If it is 2:00 PM on a Saturday (good job you made it out of bed!), then turn it as much as you want; you deserve it. PLEASE don’t put anything that is not a bagel or bread into the rotary toaster; it could catch on fire, and that would be so embarrassing. When your bagel is in the conveyor belt WALK AWAY until you think your bagel is done. This mitigates the level of traffic in the Bagel Zone. Also, it saves you time. It enables you to also get some eggs or some fruit salad or anything you think you would want to eat in addition to your bagel. The trick is that you need to make sure to be back in time so that you don’t contribute to bagel pileup, which is equally as hazardous as Bagel Zone traffic. Please, don’t steal the bagels of others. Wait your turn. It is your fault that you are going to be late to class. Pick up your own bagel. Welcome to the Spread Zone. This is possibly the most dangerous zone in Kline. People with their bagels trying to get the right ratio of jam and cream cheese, knives going all over the place…it gets intense. The most important thing to remember is that there is very little counter surface area and that there are many spread options and many Bard students with bagels. Don’t be stupid. Decide ahead of time what you want to put on your bagel. With that plan in mind, approach the Spread Zone. If someone is already in the Spread Zone, position yourself with consideration of your dominant spreading arm and relative to those present in such a way that you may access the spread of choice. Keep all limbs close to the body. Become as compact as possible. If the spread of choice is available, quickly grab the spreading knife before another has the chance to do so, but not so hastily as to frighten others. Attempt to put the spread on the bagel in as few dips as possible. This saves time and is less annoying to the people behind you waiting for you to finish. If you only want a thin layer, this may be done in two dips. If you want more than that, just put a lot on your plate and spread it on later with your own knife! If you don’t know what you want and are wandering around Kline or are just talking to some cutie you know or just want to stand still for a moment to get your bearings, do NOT do this anywhere near the Bagel Zone/Spread Zone. It is the worst thing you can do. People just love to stand around there, being annoying. Please don’t be one of those people. Great! Hopefully, you have your bagel, and all ten fingers. Remember: Use caution, wait your turn, and don’t be stupid. Bagels for all.
wtf @ delivering cookies Part I: Meeting the bakers. “We like feeding people,” said Marie of S n M Cookies, Bard’s late night cookie delivery service, when we met recently. I thought, somehow, that the driving force behind a cookie delivery service would be so much more complicated than that. As I found out after talking the Sophia and Marie, the laid-back cookie masterminds behind it all, I was just wrong. The two juniors live in Tivoli and run the whole operation out of their kitchen. Both New York City natives, used to 24-hour access to everything, they started S n M cookies because of the earlier and more stringent closing times in the area surrounding Bard. The delivery service is fantastic if only in it’s practicality, especially for the incoming freshmen, often stranded on campus for want of transportation to places like Kingston or Hyde Park where diners etc. are more prevalent. The service, which started in time for L&T this August, operates between 10:00 PM and 3:00 AM on Thursday and Friday nights; up until this weekend S n M Cookies had also delivered on Saturdays, but as the girls confessed they are still working out the service’s kinks. It’s no welloiled machine, at least not yet. Another recent change, for example, is a minimum price of eight dollars per order.
NAVIGating the toaster at kline
going well now, they are admittedly getting a little sick of cookies. I, for one, cannot relate. Part II: Eating the goods. So S n M are kind of awesome, but are S n M Cookies? I ordered some to find out. I ordered two small cookies, before the whole eight-dollar minimum thing went into effect, one of each flavor. They were delivered to New Robbins in just under a half an hour and still warm. When I saw the cookies it was obvious that they were homemade. None of this break-andbake stuff. While a little greasy they were super tasty and conveniently delivered in virtually less time than it would take me to make my own, or walk to Down the Road. Using the ingenious rating system that we at the FREE PRESS have cooked up, I gave the cookies a 4/5. Some staffers who ordered from Red Hook received their delivery in 31 minutes. These cookies were also still warm upon arrival. When it came time to pay, the Free Press members didn’t have right change and were actually allowed to pay less than they owed because of a time crunch on the part of deliverer. They gave their cookies a 3.5/5 in terms of deliciousness. Their only comment was that they thought the cookies could have used some slivered almonds.
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STOP WAITING IN LINE FOR THE NASTY KLINE SUCKS, here’s how to make do by becca webb Bored or, perhaps, even scared of Kline’s meal options? Then it’s time for some dining hall DIY. When competing in your own version of a Top Chef Quickfire challenge, it helps to remember this: for makeshift meals, curry powder, Tabasco sauce, and other spices are your best friends. In the Middle Ages spices were used to both maintain and mask food’s quality. The same concept often applies at Kline. Simple Stir Fry: Start with plain rice in a bowl. Then add in your favorite raw vegetables (chickpeas, green, pepper, broccoli, and mushrooms all work nicely). Then add curry powder, a little olive oil and microwave to your desired warmth. *The curry chickpea salad, which is sometimes featured at the salad bar when heated and served over rice is a meal that is marginally easier to make and similarly tasty. Bean and Rice Bowl: Again start with some rice. This time add the corn and black bean salad and some shredded cheese from the salad bar. Heat in the microwave and add Tabasco sauce to taste. Seeing as it is the 21st century and we seem to have the whole refrigeration thing down now, you should utilize it. Frozen yogurt is pretty much good all the time and, if all else fails, it helps to fill the unsatisfied void that college dining sometimes leaves. FroYo is especially good with peanut butter and coco puffs.
peaches all aboard the s.s. sticky sweet potato heading for yumtown, usa alf’s eats by abby ferla I have to admit that I pilfered (with a few changes) this recipe from Bush’s baked beans, but you definitely don’t have to adhere to brand loyalty on this one. Feel free to go generic, go organic, or even make your own. The recipe is quick, simple, and accidentally vegan, which makes it perfect for potlucks, barbecues, or just busy Wednesday nights. Aside from providing a punch of beta carotene, for those of you who are athletes, dancers, or just brave souls who bike 9G, the sweet potato brings some carbohydrates to the mix. The beans are low in fat but high in protein and maple syrupy goodness. The onions add a slight crunch-factor and the peaches just make everything a little kinky. INGREDIENTS 4 sweet potatoes 1 red Onion, chopped 1 Large Ripe Beach 1 Can Vegetarian Baked Beans (2 cups if you’re making your own) 1/4 cup cilantro, chopped (optional) 1. First, for all those vegetarians who have never been brave enough to touch a grill, a few grilling basics: Stack
the charcoal in a pyramid formation, light them, and allow them to burn. When the flames have burned out and the charcoals are covered in a layer of ash, spread them out over the surface of the grill. 2. MEANWHILE, preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Wash the sweet potatoes and cut them in half lengthwise. Place them face down on a baking sheet and bake for ten minutes or until tender. 3. While the potatoes are cooking, slice the peach into thin slices. Chop the onion very finely. Mix these in with
the baked beans. 4. When the potatoes are tender, use a spoon to scoop out some flesh from the top, creating a cavity about an inch deep and inch wide that runs along the length of the potato. 5. Pile the bean mixture into this potato boat, wrap each potato in tin foil, and grill for 10 to 15 minutes, rotating the potatoes occasionally. 6. Remove from flame, unwrap, garnish with cilantro if desired, and enjoy!
fine dining
PLEASE DON’T HURT ME, IT’S JUST BREAKFAST
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music
the blueprint 3 drops 9/11
by enrico purita
how could you possibly try to fight him?
Let’s face it. Jay-Z is all about the Armani and Platinum now. He is no longer a kid-from-the-projects-tryin-ta-make-it. He’s a fucking household name. A lot of his fans are either chillin’ in the Upper West Side or Top 40 suckers. This is why it’s not surprising that The Blueprint 3 situates itself in that mediocre popular hip-hop radio-play scene. Jay-Z retains the confident, deliberate flow that makes him The Best, but this album, as a sequel to 1 and 2, plays a lot like The Godfather trilogy. It’s not as good as 1, obviously better than 2, but mostly it’s just an album that asks us to respect our elders, because they don’t even need to rhyme to sound good. In 3, Jay-Z doesn’t rhyme that much but his delivery is so tailored that the album is only half bad. It doesn’t really play like an album. The Blueprint 3 is mostly broken down as singles, then further broken down by (A.) songs that Timbaland produced, (B.) songs that Kanye produced, and (C.) songs that neither of them produced. A. Timbaland is overrated and the true cheesiness of his futuristic production comes through here. B. Kanye’s skills as a producer are unmatched (despite the pairing of two of the hugest egos in hop-hop, Kanye and Jay-Z). Really, to better understand which tracks are worth bumpin’ and which ones set the backseat mood in a fratboy’s ’97 Mazda, I’m breaking down the album track-by-track.
“What We’re Talking About Tonight” opens the album on a sour note with Jay-Z speaking over a generic horn section. When will the hip-hop world realize that replicating Motown is hard? “Thank You” is Jay-Z humbly acknowledging all the people that brought him to where he is today. Here, the horns are more R&B, less Motown, and create a lounge atmosphere for the business man and retired gangster alike. Jay-Z is way too cocky on “Death of an Autotune.” In an ironic twist, Jay-Z hates on hipsters (“no lyin’ yo jeans too tight”). The song itself features chilling psychedelic backbeats over Jay-Z flowing perfectly on top of the groove. The message, however, is just Jay-Z wishing it were the 90s. Kanye West and Rihanna are in “Run This Town.” This was most definitely made for the dance floor. Again, this is Jay-Z wishing it were the 90s. Kanye and Jay-Z’s combined inflated egos are too much for this song. Rihanna’s singing, however, saves it from oblivion. “Empire State of Mind” is Jay-Z talking comfortably about changes in New York life and his own shift from the projects to New York’s tallest skyscrapers. Unfortunately, the song sounds a bit too much like some 40 year old record company CEO wrote it during a date with some gold digger New York girl. “Real As it Gets” is the worst aspect of popular hip hop: cheesy synthesizer over lazy flow that is compensated with overly complex studio overdubbing. Moving on… “On to the Next One” starts off with a catchy loop. The production keeps it interesting through the layering and looping of drums and vocals. Jay-Z’s flow here is precise and fits the off-kilter rhythms. “Off That” features Drake. Yes, it’s that guy that was in the wheelchair on Degrassi. Despite what opinion you may have of Drake, the jungle beats provide a perfect backdrop
for him to add on to Jay-Z’s fierce rapping. “A Star is Born” is too generic. Not surprisingly, Kanye West is the producer of this failed epic. Can we talk about something else? “Venus vs. Mars” is a song about male-female relations. I can’t say that I look to Jay-Z as an authority on the matter. The mood is creepy enough to be interesting but it tries too hard to be seductive. Of course, this futuristic hoo-haw has Timbaland written all over it. “Already Home” proves why everything Kid Cudi does is great. The string arrangement is out there to prove that Jay-Z is all about the classy. “Hate” also features Kanye West. This song however, features a deathly dirty blues beat. Kanye and Jay-Z tear apart the dirty bass synths (in a good way). Ouch. “Reminder” features generic synth once again. The generic synth patterns become all too common as the album progresses. Timbaland’s production loses serious luster here. Some “fuck ya’lls” slow piano and a couple of people rapping over some sort of piano melody start off “So Ambitious.” This all gets too cluttered and really isn’t anything new. “Young Forever” samples a great Mr. Hudson song. Kanye West produces and it closes the album with a characteristically Kanye-esque dramatic finish. THE VERDICT: Jay-Z knows how to close an album, but with The Blueprint 3, it seems like he didn’t know where to start. The album takes a while to get going, and then it just continues on its mediocre way. This album has some fantastic tracks that could work on a lot of mixes, but as a whole, there is no cohesion. The Blueprint 3 sets out to prove to the hip-hop world that there is a reason that Jay-Z is at the top. While the album won’t convince anyone, it certainly is a testament to Jay’s tremendous longevity.
MUSIC REVIEWS FRESH FROM OUR RESPECTIVE STEREOS Angeldust – Angeldust Heavy Psych 7”, 2009 Fucking cannibalistic. Hate noise for the ages. Four very distinct tracks on this disc. First track, “Hey Coppers,” is a whirlwind of demon squall electronics. Oscillators and feedback pierce through the miasma, only softening their blow when vocals enter the scene. Male vox offer maniacal threats on your sexuality. Awesome. Wispy feedback dominates “Morcega.” Necrotic, shouted orgasms and sexual taunts. Female vox or film sample...probably the latter. Either way, awesome. Third track, “Release,” doesn’t actually offer any release, but it is much more subdued than the previous two excursions. Loops and delay...standard noise fare...still awesome! Side B: The Darkside. Chirping feedback foreground, looming dirge in the corner of the basement. Sweaty, black atmosphere is established. Everything smells like shit right now. Hate and misery. Vox belch: “THE DARKSIDE! WELCOME YOURSELF TO THE DARKSIDE!” Over and over again. I’m there, dude, don’t worry. >> DAN RASKIN HEALTH - Get Color LOVEPUMP UNITED, 2009 If you’ve ever wanted to run on a treadmill in a wind tunnel while being barraged with strobelights and soaked in gallons of blood but lacked the resources, just listen to
Get Color. On their second album, HEALTH essentially takes its self-titled debut’s most engaging elements: unexpected rhythm changes, tremolo and distortion drenched guitars, androgynous moaning, spastic call and response ideas, and place them under a microscope. The group observes what creates tension and release, what calls for repetition and how their greatest characteristicintense spontaneity- can best be placed in more conventional song structures than on their free-form debut. The effort results in nine absorbing and oftentimes rewarding tracks, with each very much its own song with a unique purpose. The songs rely heavily upon repetition of rhythmic and noise ideas, but rarely do they feel monotonous. Rather, they tend to lure the listener into a trance before abruptly halting and then charging into a new set of musical ideas. Highlights such as “Die Slow” and “Eat Flesh” exhibit the band at its finest. “Eat Flesh” is a free-fall into a pool of feedback and stuttering synthesizers, complete with a droning breakdown section! “Die Slow,” the obvious standout, has the band wander into straight up pop-disco territory with bumpin’ results. The album ends with the unexpectedly hushed “In Violet,” a six-minute track with no drums. Who knows where HEALTH will go from here, but Get Color shows that whatever they put out will be well worth your time. >> JACK BYERLY
Jay Reatard – Watch Me Fall Matador, 2009 Despite Jay’s best fatalist ramblings (“All is lost, there is no hope for me,” “I can’t do it anymore,” “I don’t want to be in this world,” and so on...) Watch Me Fall still forces one’s mouth into a sort of devil-grin and instantly induces air-drumming. And, really, that stupid album art is the “darkest” thing about this release. Even on “Nothing Now,” perhaps the darkest track on the album, it only takes until about the halfway mark before Jay-Reatard grows impatient and makes another exuberant pop song complete with background “ooh-ing.” The album contains the moments of pleasure and energy that we expect from a man so familiar with catchy-ashell song craft, but the pop formula only gets you so far. Usually, Jay backs up his hooks with soul, but he can’t seem to manage that in this latest release. Where are the “Nights of Broken Glass,” the “Blood Visions?” I found myself missing his back-catalogue more than I was enjoying his current work. Those powerful, angry anthems of yesteryear have been replaced with toned-down, borderline-boring cynicism. It seems Jay may be taking a more thematic approach to his songwriting, but I can’t say it’s serving him the same way his youthfulness and adrenaline did on previous releases. I spent much of the 32 minutes of this album waiting for Jay to explode into something a little less
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music
even if the album is lame, jay-z’s still a fuckin star
sailing conversations
vol. 1: sublime frequencies by george glikerdas Sublime Frequencies is a record label from Seattle that began in 2003. It‘s run by Alan and Richard Bishop of the experimental rock group Sun City Girls. They release music and video taped performances from North Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia. The music mainly consists of “folk”/”pop” hybrid sounds mixing East and West, like Thai Pop. SF finds rare gems that are the best soundtrack for this absurd, globalized, “modern”/Western world. There’s no agenda except to make this music available, instead of letting Western cultural imperialism to take control. No, I don’t want to see non-Western musicians being dependent on the West forever. But if I can help support musicians through Sublime Frequencies, then so be it. We spoke with Alan Bishop.
FP: I’m curious about the phrase “world music.” It’s a Western genre mainstream record companies invented around the 80’s as a marketing scheme. It’s more interested in geography than who the actual musicians are. Can you attribute SF to this phrase if you’re releasing non-Western music and get trapped exoticizing your releases? Alan: We don’t refer to Sublime Frequencies that way; we’re highly specific and generalizations don’t work. Generalizing simplifies the beauty of specifics. Specific doesn’t mean it can’t be mysterious, and simplifications aren’t mysterious at all. The heart of specifics becomes quite mysterious because it discovers a million more questions, because of the details. We’re comfortable with the term “exotic” just because it’s been politically correct to not be used. If it’s “exotic,” it’s mysterious, from another dimension. They think people shouldn’t use it because maybe it leaves a perception of being disdainful towards a group of people or an area in the world, or seen as being less of something. For me it’s the opposite; it makes them more powerful, more venerable. Because of cultural imperialism, a lot of terrible Western music has plagued the nonWest. However, there’s not that much non-Western music available in the West. The international music that exists is mostly corporate trash. Still, there’s more bad Western music in the non-West than there’s bad international music in the West. SF is important because it’s non-corporate and great international music available in the West. Can you find “good Western music,” by your standards, where you’re traveling? It’s almost impossible. You can find mainstream stuff from the 40’s to the 70’s, but it’s not as widespread as here. Through the bootleg industry you can get a 1960’s classic rock library on twenty mp3s for $2.00. But when it comes to post-70’s, which I favor underground/experimental music as being anything of true value since the 70’s, then that’s not available. For the average person to access, it’s not played on the radio. It’s there, but you have to look for it, and it’s not nearly as accessible as here. What I do is I bring a hard drive with my music, whether it’s Brazilian, Italian soundtracks, American/ European underground, experimental, free jazz. I’ve downloaded it for friends and radio stations. Younger musicians should be influenced by that instead of Top 40 or what the mega machine is pumping in. I don’t know how much of a difference it makes but it does
polished, a little less clean; instead he kept it all under the lid, creating something absolutely enjoyable but not necessarily vital. >> MAXWELL PAPARELLA Mount Eerie - Wind’s Poems P.W. Elverum & Sun, 2009 The Helm Gallery on Antique Row in Tacoma, Washington was a small art gallery showcasing local and international artists. It also served as a small music venue for the downtown arts community before closing its doors this last spring. It was in this small venue that I saw Mount Eerie— Phil Elverum’s usually-one-man-sometimes-more-musicproject—perform countless shows. After seeing him—and oftentimes his collaborators—play numerous times, I knew what to anticipate with every set; each was usually a carbon copy of the last. In the same manner, his albums are incredible similar to each other and have grown entirely predictable. They are to date: Lost Wisdom, “No Flashlight” Songs of the Fulfilled Night, and Dawn. When I caught news of the release of his new album—Wind’s Poem—I figured I knew what to expect: simplicity with minimal production, voice and guitar, tape noise, clear and distinct lyrics. I anticipated it to “evoke the unchangeable truths of the natural world, or in [Phil Elverum’s] words, ‘erosion and mortality’”—much like his other records. Wind’s Poem surpassed my expectations— it still evokes questions of nature and philosophy much like his other albums, but also integrates more “noise” into his music in a way that Elverum’s never done before. While this may
for some and that’s all I can do. In a Blastitude article, you are quoted saying: “This music and sound/cultural phenomenon is NOT science and it cannot be captured or owned. It is interactive and its traditions are NOT sacred or definable. These people ARE us. There is no separation other than the cancer of misunderstanding and categorization so malevolently put in place by the ruling elite in order to control thought and behavior.” Is it possible for a tradition that is subject to change, that is not definable, to still be sacred, especially when they are ceremonial and spiritual? Would you say that your interactions are still that of trying to “capture” cultures? When you say “these people are us”/”there is no separation...” are you referring to some collective unconscious? There’s a constant propaganda, telling people they’re completely different organisms. Because of culture, religion, there’s a false controversy in everything keeping everybody in conflict so we don’t know that the people with the money and guns are the ones that need to be annihilated. We’re all the same, except for the elites and those who are running it for them. What was the first question? Is it possible for a tradition that is subject to change, that is not definable, to still be sacred, especially when they are ceremonial and spiritual? Yes. But in the quote you said that these traditions you’re documenting are not sacred. That’s true as well...They’re both true. Everything in between and beyond both extremes. There’s no absolute. You can have it being sacred and you can look at it not being sacred…can you read that question for me again? Is it possible for a tradition that is subject to change, that is not definable, to still be sacred, especially when they are ceremonial and spiritual? Okay, so I’m going to ask you, why is it important to you to ask me that question? As an outsider visiting a culture that is not yours, you have what seem like good intentions to spread a tradition. However, you said in the quote that these traditions you wish to spread are not sacred. I think they are sacred, even though they are subject to change. Gamelan, for instance, isn’t sacred. You’re referring to a religious ceremony, like Nat Pwe. Within themselves they’re sacred. But you can still evolve traditions like Gamelan. I don’t believe you can only play it how the Javanese perform it. Before it sounded different than it does today, yet you can’t say it’s sacred how it is now. Thirty years ago it was different and seventy years ago it was different than that.
> > > read the complete, more in-depth interview online at the Foxy Digitalis webzine
usually be risky, the music does not lose its integrity. Nor is Elverum’s own unique style absent. It’s been described by many as “Phil Elverum’s black metal” album, although he refutes this statement: “It’s not black metal. At all . . . [I aimed for were] huge sounding things, and production that creates bombastic sounds or just colossal sounding things.” If you’re looking for a fun night and something that sounds huge—something that creates a “feeling of an immense vibe”—check Phil Elverum and Mount Eerie out on Halloween in Brooklyn at the Market Hotel in Bushwick. After all, Elverum himself called his new album “the loudest record I’ve ever made.” I don’t think it’s possible to be disappointed. >> JAKE STORTINI Protestant – Antagonist Halo of Flies 7”, 2009 “Arrogant, Thrusting D-Beat Mercilessly Slays the Weak Purveyors of Consumer Culture, Shows No Regret.” How I wish tomorrow’s headlines would read as such... Milwaukee’s Protestant bleeds strength and contempt, power, and anguish. Antagonist channels the eternal spirit of crust, d-beat, hardcore...the hate for this world and everything in it, the unrelenting conviction that soon it will crumble and something better will come. Many bands are content to simply live off these primal energies. But Protestant chooses to die by them. They cut themselves open, ripping out their insides, spilling their boiling lifeblood on you. Every frantic riff, pounding drum beat, and shredding vocal expulsion is a sacrificial offering. And it is truly
potent. Accept this gift, but only upon this promise: that you will feed from this spirit and become strong. When the time comes, sacrifice yourself, and the struggle will grow stronger. Kill the weak, feed the worthy. >> DAN RASKIN Howard Stelzer – Bond Inlets Intransitive Recordings CD, 2008 The temporal flow of Bond Inlets is appropriately aquatic. The music is pulled from calm open waters to chaotic shoreline and back again, endlessly. Haunting wails are buried deep in this haze. They do not linger. Waves of hiss and drone flush over me. Powerful, but surprisingly gentle. All forceful and unexpected movements coagulate into a dense and eerie hiss. This does linger. Deep sounds bubble to the surface, making their presence known briefly and then dispersing. It sounds like Tarkovsky’s Solaris feels. As Kris Kelvin must have observed, gazing down from his space station onto the planet Solaris, Bond Inlets feels alien, distant and unknowable, and yet strangely intimate. The deep motions that guide these motions are barely perceptible...unseen and indifferent, though it is certain that they work with a mysterious intent. I cannot reach these sounds. They are completely impenetrable. They do not ask to be known, but they know something important about me. They surround me, and take me where they will. While I am here, I am helpless against it. And I don’t think I’ll choose to leave. Highest recommendations. >> DAN RASKIN
movie reviews
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fine arts
watching hitler die
photo courtesy quentin tarantino
students now forced to seek alternate sources of reality olafur IS no longer 24/7 by ezra glenn
Everyone’s favorite conceptual swimming pool, “The Parliament of Reality,” a permanent installation on Bard Campus, was designed by everyone’s favorite Danish-Icelandic artist Olafur Eliasson. It opened last May but is now closed to students after nightfall. The installation, which sits opposite the Fisher Center for the Performing Arts at the north end of campus, consists of a concrete island decorated with a sprinkling of boulders. The island is surrounded by a moat full of tadpoles and can be reached by a short bridge wrapped in a giant slinky. According to the CSS website, “Eliasson envisions this project as ‘a place where students, teachers, and visitors can gather to relax, discuss ideas, or have an argument. The Parliament of Reality emphasizes that negotiation should be at the core of any educational scheme. It is only by questioning what one is taught that real knowledge is produced and a critical attitude can be sustained.’” Unfortunately for us, if the sun is down, students now will have to find another place to have an argument. Whether or not a critical attitude is sustained, all we know is that if you want a pretty view of the moon reflecting off of some water and rocks, you’ll have to try the Hudson. Since its construction at Bard, the installation has been a source of some controversy. On the night April 26 last semester, a group of students vandalized the structure using tools left behind by the construction crew. While trying to move one of the large rocks on the island, one student’s hand was crushed beneath the weight of the boulder. An EMS worker arrived having heard the resounding screams of the injured student, after some of the group fled the scene. “The Parliament of Reality” was closed at all times this August during L&T for reasons not specified by the college, though it is likely related to the act of student vandalism in April. Though it was reopened with the beginning of the fall semester, the installation is now closed at night, though illuminated with a bright spotlight. After the incident on April 26, the college supposedly increased security forces around “The Parliament of Reality.” After dusk, despite the lack of a lock or fence, any visitors to the installation are hastily greeted by a security officer and asked to leave. Apparently, reality is just more than we can handle.
consider the lobster considered ccs review by justin leigh
Rachel Harrison wants to know, do people really look at art anymore? At first, this question may sound naïve or a bit pretentious. But unless you’ve gone to see “Consider the Lobster,” the current exhibition at the Center for Curatorial Studies (CCS), you may not have considered that how we look at art may be a lot more important than whatever this thing that we call “art” is. The reason for this is simple: Harrison’s work alters the way we look at art. When you walk through Harrison’s exhibition, the walls—usually barriers that contain and restrict you; the surfaces that house art—become part of the artwork. Slivers of walls are suspended mid-air by ropes, a maze-like arrangement of corrugated cardboard towers above you, and preexisting gallery walls are literally removed—sawed off and relocated. Walls that previously served as the background for art now appear stacked up, leaning against one another. They too are on display. Harrison seems to be using walls to question what we normally perceive as the boundaries between a work of art and the place it is found. By altering the physical look of the gallery, Harrison’s work changes how you move within and view that space. In doing so, Harrison succeeds at engaging and inviting the viewer to participate in the interpretive process to an extent where he or she becomes a part of the artwork.
This may sound abstruse, but as Tom Eccles, the Executive Director of CCS, suggests, Harrison’s work actually inverts a tendency in conceptual art in which representations follow some central idea or set of discourses. Rather, her works seem to renounce the notion that there is some imperative truth represented in the objects she makes. “Her work provides a lot of clues,” Eccles says, “but not a lot of answers.” This is clear in “Foot Stays in the Picture,” where Harrison takes video images of marathon runners, splits the footage into two sequences, and then alternates them across four TVs. Shot at ground-level, the screens present you with a continuous stream of moving feet that appear to be in order, when in fact, they are not. Whether you are able to realize this at first or at all, your mind, simply by looking, fills in the blanks. In other words, there’s more to the act of looking than meets the eye. “Consider the Lobster” is a exhibition of previous installations by artist Rachel Harrison on view at the Center for Curatorial Studies. It is in conjunction with “And Other Essays,” a collaborative effort with six other artists to curate works from the Marieluise Hessel Collection in the Hessel Museum of Art. Both exhibitions will be running until December 20, 2009. The galleries are open Wednesday through Sunday from 1-5 PM. Admission is free.
Inglourious Basterds (2009) dir. Quentin Tarantino “Now we are your prisoners,” the SS Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) tells American Lieutenant Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) at the end of Inglourious Basterds. He says it with a smile that indicates that his jouissance must be two-fold. First, he is pleased with “being held prisoner,” which I suspect holds some special place for him; second, he enjoys that his own identity-- that of a Nazi being taken prisoner-- is in a sense being brought to justice. I wouldn’t tread on this unless I thought this was also how Tarantino expects his audience to submit to the film-- first for the pure joy of cinematic domination and second for the righteous slaughter of the Third Reich. In the press, Inglourious Basterds has been most associated with “wish fulfillment,” a kind of frat boy revisionism, in which Jews man up, fight back, kick ass, and end the War. In an interview with Jeffrey Goldberg of the Atlantic Monthly, Tarantino explained his vexation with other World War II movies: When you watch all the different Nazi movies, all the TV movies, It’s sad, but isn’t it also frustrating? Did everybody walk into the boxcar? Didn’t somebody do something? (Never mind the shades of anti-Semitism.) Tarantino, it would appear, has been trying to “do something” for a while now: at one point, his script was said to number more than 600 pages. Perhaps that’s why this incarnation of Inglourious Basterds feels so skeletal; what may have once been a full-bodied feature is now a shrunken, incongruous collection of some scattered scenes to facilitate a gory climax in which we watch Eli Roth kill Adolf Hitler with a terrifying, bloodthirsty smile. Save for Christoph Waltz’s Landa, portrayed with aggressive urbanity, the film is largely unremarkable. Its evil is not Cormac McCarthy’s evil, which emerges from darkness, from nowhere, and stakes its violent claim to humanity. Instead, it is the adolescent violence of a sated snicker. Tarantino claims to get a kick out of his cinematic revisionism. But his goal seems, in many ways, more like that of a video game: this time, we can get it right, no matter how many times we haven’t. “Getting it right,” in Tarantino’s vision, has the Basterds donning the Nazi uniform, which affords them the cruelty of the Nazi’s themselves. “I’m more than just a uniform,” a strapping young Nazi tells a beautiful female Jew. “Not to me,” she responds. What the film looks to take from Nazi Germany is its very humanity, what makes them like us. Doing so is an act of unsurpassable evil-- the same act instigated against the Jews by the Nazis themselves. Tarantino’s vision, which is both in turn spectacular and banal, falls into lock step with youtube© videos of Saddam Hussein’s execution, with spirited defenses of waterboarding. Watching Hitler die “the apex of our desire” becomes an act of evil. There is no bad evil, no good evil, just evil-- the slithering, perverse angel of history. Tarantino’s film puts the shoe on the other foot and calls it art. Yet history had other plans and memory has another story. Tarantino’s terrifying counter-memory obscures the place of history and replaces it with celluloid ignorance. No one since Ronald Reagan has showed such a preference for the Hollywood version of history.
California Company Town (2008) dir. Lee Anne Schmitt What exactly determines the lasting value of a location may be difficult to pin down, but Lee Anne Schmitt’s film California Company Town has a good idea about what makes a transient location so appealing: the enduring lure of industry. Schmitt chronicles those California boomtowns whose whole existence, past or present, was built around foresting, mining, or even the incarceration industry. The film is composed of short segments highlighting different California towns, abandoned or about to be. The film is nobly unfettered by a sense of personal narrative. A cool stillness pervades every lingering shot, each one free of any sense of suffering, any sense of victimization. Schmitt’s recognition of the cheapness of this moral pathos- the kind forced in documentaries by Michael Moore- makes the film’s commitment to honest understanding all the more noticeable. As any archeologist knows, the past remains imprinted upon the land. Schmitt’s focus on the spaces of development and desertion shows she knows just as well where to find history. The inclusion of an array of footage from government and company propaganda manages to reconstruct the corporate culture imagined by such companies, yet also distracts from contemplative pace of the film. More effective is Schmitt’s use of sound from presidential speeches or overlaid loud, epic music from the same films behind her own haunting frames, which expands the film without intruding on its concentration. Schmitt exercises her ability to make the cant of the film image- the presence of undeniable reality alongside unintelligible ambiguity- the stylistic centerpiece of her film. In a sense the film is a kind of inkblot-- we see the shots and imagine a narrative of suffering or migration, betterment or abandonment. But the film is perhaps neither a polemic against boomtown capitalism or a starry-eyed nostalgia piece. Schmitt is concerned with the logic of space and location exhibited by such towns, and with their logical failures. Schmitt’s own sparse narration is generous enough to guide us though the film, yet vague enough to beg us to look more deeply into the images that appear on screen. The film ends with a brief segment on idyllic Silicon Valley-- either the latest in a series of company towns to be abandoned, or a new breed of town where things are different. Silicon Valley, unlike the other towns portrayed in California Company Town, is not built around anything that fixes it to its landscape. Previous company towns required their plentiful landscapes to ensure their success, but the landscape in Silicon Valley is only a facilitator for ideas and experimentation. This technological Disney Land is arranged around like-minded corporations whose productions have been sufficiently outsourced to assure that Silicon Valley itself is never under any serious threat of becoming irrelevant.
both reviews by giampaolo bianconi
NEW Age opera to conFront touchy subjects now doesn’t that feel good?
by michael wittner Bard sophomore Sara Doble may be majoring in biology, but she is and always has been active in the theater world. In high school, she wrote and directed an anti-drug play called Acid in Wonderland, which was loosely based on the Lewis Carroll classic. Last spring she starred as a cabaret girl named Texas in Bard’s production of Cabaret. This fall she will be directing and potentially starring in bare, (the title of which is intentionally lower-case) a relatively new, little-known, and critically acclaimed pop opera about the teenage angst which abounds in rigid Catholic school environments. Doble discovered bare in high school, when a friend introduced her to the soundtrack. “I originally thought it was about bears,” she says. “I listened to it, expecting it to be about a bunch of forest rangers. It’s actually about being emotionally bare--stepping away from what society expects you to be and realizing who you actually are and
being fine with it.” The opera, which is almost entirely in song, centers on the preparations for a school production of Romeo and Juliet at St. Cecilia’s Boarding School, a school as traditional and austere as its name would suggest. Its central characters include two gay students who are forced to keep their relationship secret, the promiscuous girl set to play the part of Juliet, and an African-American nun. The opera also addresses issues of weight, alcoholism, and drug addiction, among others. Throughout the course of the opera, characters are forced to confront their identities and to realize how they truly want to live their lives. Doble believes that bare will especially resonate with college students because each of us has at one point or another dealt with issues of personal identity. Doble originally wanted someone else to direct bare so that she could act in it, but decided soon after that she had a specific vision for the show that only she could
create. She sent in an application for funding to the Bard Musical Theatre Company, and her application beat out roughly five others. Consequently, this will be the first opera that the BMTC has ever performed. Since then, she has also corresponded via e-mail with Jon Hartmere, Jr., the original composer of the opera. The two discussed various plot intricacies, the show’s now defunct website, and Doble’s intentions to bring bare to the Bard Campus. Doble also asked Hartmere to attend the upcoming November performances, and it is more than possible that he will oblige. Doble also personally feels as though it is easier to express emotions through song, so she expects that the process will be dramatically rewarding for actors. The show will be in the Old Gym in either the first of second week of November.
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movies + plays
I sold my soul to the company town
we can share my size six capris
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horoscopes
investigative reporting at free use
well at least we have sharks
by jesse taylor feldmus It’s 9:00 PM and my friend and I walk from Bluecher to Kline to meet some comrades to venture over to this “Free Store” that apparently exists beyond the library in some godforsaken garage. As I walk across the “quad,” the light flooding out of the science building consumes me. The amount of light pouring from those labs, through the trees is, by the way, completely unnecessary. Even though it adds an interesting visual for me on the way to this place of disarray, there is no reason to waste such vast amounts of electricity throughout the night. ANYWAY, so I walk, up the treacherous pavement hill leading up to Kline. I wonder, for a second, why my legs aren’t bothering me as much as they usually do or why it is that I haven’t once complained about this walk. I guess the Adderall (taken for the first time 30 minutes prior) kept me pretty focused rather than in my usual state of being completely wired and over-consumed with thought and energy. Which reminds me, I need to let my doctor back in Jersey know I am almost certain I have Attention Deficit Disorder. So, the two of us meet our comrades on the steps of Kline and continue to trek forward past the library. I see before me a faint light in the woods driving me to ask, “Is that it?” Having been here before, they assure me that the structure before us is in fact, the “Free Store” even though I have doubts. Someone flips on the lights just after I endure the strongest whiff of musk I had ever gotten in my life. I try to take it all in at once, but that proves to be nearly impossible. In order to properly experience the Free Store, one must walk around, examining each shelf and everything it has to offer. Such an eclectic assortment of shit! I am overwhelmed and take a lap around before thoroughly investigating. On my left, are old pillows, sheets, appliances, bags, VHS tapes (for those unfamiliar with this concept they are recorded strips of film within plastic cassette cases), hats, and literally everything in
between. In the center of this converted garage are twotiered racks of clothing. I begin to investigate. I find some really interesting items that conjure up multiple imagined stories of Ex-Bard patriots. A cap and gown hang innocently on the “Chackets” rack near the door. (By the way, Free Store staff, velvet robes with red lip patterns are not “chackets;” they’re garbage…but I guess not. One could create some interesting get-up… in the context of Bard.) Of course, one of my comrades decides to try the chacket on. She steps into the dressing room cleverly named “Time Machine” and walks out thrown four years into the future. I turn my head and my fellow colleague on this bizarre journey is attempting to slip this extra small pale blue Bermuda women’s crew neck above his head (keep in mind he’s a men’s medium). “Is this too small?” he asks himself. No shit. But hey, I won’t stop you. “It’ll look better on you; you take it,” he says to our friend who might just be an XS woman. After trying it on she says, “we’ll share.” Ah, Bard. I arrive at the bookcase. In my opinion, it’s the best part of this “Free Store.” This secluded collection of books that lies beyond our library in this godforsaken garage is so fucking fantastic. If in twenty years you closed my eyes and brought me to that bookshelf and asked me where I was, I’m about 84% sure I’d say Bard. My findings include: SAT- Math for the Clueless, Living the G.I. Diet, The Changing Agenda of Israeli Sociology, Six Ways to Being an Actor, and The New International Commentary on the Old Testament- The Book of Genesis Chapters 1-17 (just in time for my FYSEM discussion). Before turning off the lights and heading back to Bluecher, I pick up A Portrait of Ernest Hemingway (written by Lillian Ross in 1950) and place it on top of my pile, which also includes an MLA handbook (fuck you, Bard Book Store, for trying to convince me that the revised edition includes new changes previously not included), a rubber
class n sass
class n sass
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by mystic forlorn diamond gems
virgo sick in the heart, sick in the <3, sick in the mind. libra no one likes you. especially not me. scorpio ride your bike to their room. this is your only hope. sagitarrius date me. capricorn you look into a well and wish you had the courage to fall and see what happens. aquarius if your life is like you think it is there is no reason to not think everything is the lowest low. pisces down, down, down. aries you are just that sensitive. don’t get over it. taurus if you talk to enough people eventually someone will mean, “my summer was good.” gemini tuesday is NOT looking good. you know why, too. cancer puppies, cuddle, puppies, cuddle. you don’t have much else. leo welcome back to school. it’s going to be terrible. oh well the usual.
(but it’s actually this confusing) stamp, a book cover to make a card out of, and a pair of women’s size 6 Capri pant cut-offs that I plan on making into shorts. Hey reader, don’t judge me… if you’re a six, we can share.
fresh presets for yr car radio
deedee’s radio recommendations by deedee o’loughlin
About the author: Deedee is a native of the Hudson Valley. She has never owned a vehicle with a cd player so she has become an expert at finding radio stations that aren’t terrible. If you’re in need of some presets, she suggests the following: 90.9 (npr) – just a few examples of the great things they have to offer: car talk on saturday mornings at 10 – really funny men who chuckle a lot while answering questions about cars. “wait wait don’t tell me” on saturday mornings at 11 – a fun game show 94.3 (the wolf) – if you’re one of the few people out there who like country, be proud and listen to the wolf in your big pick-up truck with your windows rolled down 96.1 (kiss fm) – incredibly fresh beats – if you can handle the ear-splitting static 98.5 (the cat) – good mixture of today’s hits and yesterday’s favorites. some examples: justin timberlake’s “what goes around” peter gabriel’s “sledgehammer” and that catchy song by jason mraz. ***NOTE: if you like this station, give, mix97 a try (97.7) 99.1 (wkze) – a valid slogan – they do “celebrate musical diversity.” lots of folk music, sometimes a little too old person-y, but a pleasant station to listen to in the morning 104.7 (k104) – great pop music (but too many commercials, too many annoying DJs, and too much miley cyrus) (***if you decide to take a trip to the city, or even a little bit south of bard, listen to 92.3. cool jams.DJ chunky is awesome, and commercial free mondays are the best)
SIQQ JAMZ
COP SHOP
dispatches from security by ken cooper
The summer of 2009 was filled with activity, as it is every year. Summer Scape, the Bard Music Festival, the Spiegel Tent, MFA, Summer Scholars, and Summer camp bring many guests to campus. One of these visitors, an 18-year-old recent Pine Plains High School graduate, attempted to enter the back door of the Spiegel Tent late one evening. A staff member stopped this person, telling him to leave. As our Bard staff person turned, the Pine Plains youth struck him in his orbital socket, breaking a number of facial bones, severely injuring him. Bard Security, working in coordination with Red Hook Police and the Dutchess County Sheriffs Office, helped locate the perpetrator to answer for this act of unwarranted violence. Our staff person has recovered, and our high schooler now has a rap sheet to go along with his diploma. We wish him well in this tough job market, and the real world. The Parliament of Reality has taken root on campus. After the inauspicious beginning of vandalism, in which one of the Bard students was injured, the space has been well respected and utilized as it was meant to be--a quiet space to contemplate and connect with our natural surroundings. The tadpoles are now cute little frogs, at least the ones that survived the bird feeding frenzy--ah, nature. Mid-July a terrorist cell of four 16-year-olds came to campus at 2AM to “have some fun” and take a few bikes. Gino, Fred, and Casey spoiled their fun. I happened to be on campus to add some special flavor to the evening’s excitement. Their parents were not happy about the 2:30AM phone call and dealing with the sheriff’s department. We at security do not feel the youngsters will be back anytime soon. A bear, bobcat, coyote, and numerous foxes have been seen enjoying the forest that surrounds the Bard campus. It would be a real good idea to let them enjoy nature without your input. Always be respectful while hiking or walking through their home turf. Seeing a cuddly bear with her cubs should make you do a quick about face, slowly and quietly. Mama bears have no patience for anyone when their cubs are around. Lastly, a very scary car accident involving four new Bardians in one car and a 16-year -old driver and her mother in the other, occurred during L&T. As most of us know, any exit or entrance to 9G is very dangerous. Because of air bags and decent cars, (the 16-year-old and her mom just purchased the Honda) no one was seriously injured, although everyone was fairly shaken. I compliment our students who were calm and helpful to emergency responders, and showed great maturity and control in a very stressful incident.
shark album covers from the FP archives
smog calendar + community calender
community pages
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SMOG Calender (all shows 9pm unless otherwise stated) Sat 9/19: Nautilus, Steve Gunn, Rambutan & Niao Sun 9/20: White Suns Tues 9/22: Baby Birds Don’t Drink Milk Weds 9/23: MIST & Jerkagram Frid 9/25: Il Bastardo Sat 9/26: Class Actress, Patrick Cleandenim & Phone Tag Thu 10/1: Social Junk, Mincemeat or Tenspeed, Dick Neff & Blks Jks Frid 10/2: Liturgy & Hangtime Mon 10/5: Pygmy Shrews 8pm Frid 10/9: Sabbath Assembly, Anything Maria & Niao Sat 10/10: Earth Crown & God Willing Sun 10/11: Prince Rama of Ayodhya 8pm community calender Short-Run Events Saturday, September 19—Sunday, September 20 Gem & Mineral Show & Sale 30+ dealers, lapidary demos, fossils exhibits, beads, tools, flourescent minerals, Sat 9am–5pm; Sun 9am–3pm. Dutchess County Fairgrounds, Rhinebeck. 845-227-1188 Thursday, September 24— Sunday, September 27 Rummage Sale Thu 6–8pm; Fri 10am–3pm; Sat 9am–noon. $5 a bag day on Sat. St. John’s Reformed Church, Upper Red Hook. 845-758-1184 Farm Land Cycling Tour Sat 9am–1pm; meet at Poets’ Walk Park, choose a ride length, a map, & hop on your bike. Afterwards enjoy a meal at the park, included with donation. Organized by Scenic Hudson. 845-473-4440 X273 Hardscrabble Day Annual Red Hook Village festival. Flea market, music, parade, fireworks & more. All day Sat. 758-0824
drawings by george glikerdas
Tivoli Street Painting Festival Chalk a giant rectangle on the street with pastels for free! Art, music, entertainment and fun, all day Sat; get an artist application at www.tivoliny.org/ Sunday Race Across Kingston Bridge 4 mile race across Kingston/Rhinecliff Bridge, part of Quadricentennial celebration. Meet 8am Sunday at CJ’s pizza, Rt. 9G, Rhinebeck. Van will transport racers to tollbooth. $25/$22. Download application at rhinebeck-ny. gov. 845-943-9526
do you have something to publicize? if you are reading this, you already know that we have an audience (28 fucking pages, please, of course we do). so submit your ads or whatever. no commercial advertisements.
NEXT ISSUE:
centerfold is photos from this issue’s launch party with THE REMEDY at smog 9/12
word search: back to school supplies classifieds, PERSONALS AND MISSED CONNECTIONS
Wednesday, September 30—Sunday, October 4 Woodstock Film Festival Films, panels, concerts, & events. Woodstock. Call for details: 845- 679-4265 or visit woodstockfilmfestival.com
email yours to bardfreepress @gmail.com to get hooked up
Friday, October 2 – Sunday October 4 Crafts at Rhinebeck Over 200 juried craftspeople, wine tasting, specialty foods, organic & farm produce for sale, children’s hayrides and more. Sat 10am–6pm; Sun 10am–5pm. $7/free. Dutchess Cty Fairgrounds. Rt. 9, Rhinebeck. 845-876-4001
Fly glasses: You opened the door for me and my friend at Kline the other day in an incredibly courteous (not cavalier) way. It was super nice. Then you paid for my best friend’s sister’s cup of water ($0.11) at down the road the next day. Just wanted to say thanks for makin the public sphere a little nicer.
Friday, October 9— Sunday, October 11 Side by Side by Sondheim Tribute to composer-lyricist Stephen Sondheim. $20/$18. Fri & Sat 8pm; Sun 3pm. Ctr. for Perf. Arts, Rhinebeck. 845-876-3080
seeking someone who i can call when i need a pickup truck to transport weird art shit around campus / to red hook. yknow sometimes i need that but my car is too small. i will pay for your gas and buy you beer. or we can arrange something else, whatever. email ed298.
Rhinebeck Antiques Fair More than 200 exhibitors display furniture, folk art, decorative objects & more. Food court, free parking. Sat 10am–5pm; Sun 11am–4pm. $9. Food court, free parking & delivery service. Dutchess Cty. Fairgrounds, Rhinebeck. 845-876-1989
To Corduroy Boy: You were looking pretty collegiate in your corduroy jacket and maroon pants. I saw you under a tree in the campus center orchard, reading a book. I was under another tree wearing a red/orange dress and a straw hat. We made eye contact a couple of times. And then I saw you again a couple of days later! You can send a note to MSC 1887.
Long-Run Events Wednesday, September 2—Wednesday, November 25 Peace Vigils 1 hr. peace vigil every Wed. Corner of Montgomery & Mill Sts., Rhinebeck. Organized by Dutchess Peace Coalition. 845-876-7906
hey we were makin out in the free press office recently. would it be weird to go on a date? ugh probably.
Saturday, September 5—Sunday, October 18 Old Rhinebeck Aerodrome Museum of antique air craft & air shows using antique air crafts. Open every weekend thru mid October. Sunday, September 20—Sunday, November 15 Rhinebeck Farmers’ Market Sundays 10am–2pm. 9/20: Harvest Day. 10/11: Apple Day. 11/15: Winter Squash Day. Municipal Pkg. Lot, E. Mkt. St., Rhinebeck. Thursday, October 1—Sunday, November 1 Met Opera at TSL Surround-sound satellite transmission of the Metropolitan Opera at Time & Space Ltd., Hudson. 10/1 at 7pm & 10/4 at 1pm: All’s Well That Ends Well. 10/10, 10/17 & 10/18 at 1pm: Tosca. 10/24/0/31 & 11/1: Aida. $22/$15. Time & Space Ltd., 434 Columbia St. Hudson. 518-822-8448
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KEY/LEGEND: ruler compass protractor compositionnotebook mechanicalpencil looseleaf crayolacrayons
sharpies elmersglue safetyscissors coloredpencils markers witeout erasablepen ticonderogapencils
postits scotchtape ducttape packagingtape staples ministapler masterlock swinglinestapler pushpins
expomarkers dryeraseboard chalk blackboard bicpens ti89 tieightyfourplussilveredition collegerule
widerule printerpaper spiralnotebook condoms lisafranknotebook roseartfuckingsucks crayolaninetysixpack
photos by beth gratzer