JEWISH FAMILY EDUCATION
Diamonds in the rough The Power of Stories Series One of the greatest Mishnaic sages, Rabbi Meir was widely admired for his exceptional scholarship, deep wisdom, and warm humanity. He lived by the value of tolerance for the views of others with whom he disagreed. Most notably he
Candace R. Kwiatek continued to confer with his teacher, Elisha ben Avuyah, an extraordinary Jewish sage who became a heretic called Acher, “the other,” by his contemporaries. Rabbi Meir’s colleagues reproached him, believing any involvement with Acher was disgraceful. However, in a dream-dialogue with Elijah the prophet, Rabba bar Sheila famously challenged their stance: “‘Why should he be judged unfavorably for that? Rabbi Meir found a pomegranate and ate its contents while throwing away its peel.’ (Elijah) said to Rabba bar
Sheila: ‘Indeed, your defense has been heard above.’” How could an anecdote about a pomegranate influence the heavens? Smooth and leathery on the outside but overflowing inside with jewellike seeds, the pomegranate is a biblical symbol of blessing. The short tale implies that Rabbi Meir discovered many blessings in Asher and turned his attention to them while ignoring Asher’s outward heresies, a position with which heaven seems to have agreed. “Look not at the flask but what is therein,” Rabbi Meir taught. Three scholars explain the wisdom behind Rabbi Meir’s stance. Created in the image of God, every human is a “timeless connection to the holy, to the creative spark,” Jewish educator Josh Troderman writes. As a consequence, “each person is endowed with three intrinsic dignities,” according to Rabbi Irving Greenberg, “infinite value, equality, and uniqueness.” Therefore, Rabbi David Teutsch concludes, “no human being should be treated merely
as an object, and we should alOne rabbi shouted in dismay, ways attempt to see the human- “What’s going on? You’re doing ity in those we encounter.” one of the most disgusting jobs In Judaism, this multifaceted possible, and you’re wrapped virtue is known as kavod habin one of the holiest objects a riyot, the honor of the created Jew can put on! There are rules beings or human dignity. about wearing tefillin. What’s “The Hebrew word for wrong with you?” The simple honor, kavod, is related to the Jew was ashamed and embarword for weight, as in gravitas, rassed. “You’re right, rabbi. I’m or giving weight to the presso sorry!” ence of another human being,” The other rabbi suddenly explains Dr. Ronit Ziv-Kreger. shouted with joy. “Master of Truly weighty, kavod habriyot the Universe, look at this holy overshadows Rabbi Akiva’s Jew! See how devoted he is! great Torah principle, “You Even when greasing the wheels shall love your neighbor as of his wagon, he wants to be yourself.” By wrapped in your honoring and presence. That’s respecting the how much he divine dignity loves you!” of fellow human Mistaken beings created Identity. A in the image of well-known God, one honors Jerusalem rabbi God the Creator We are all equally thought he saw as well. the illustrious deserving of How can one rosh yeshiva being treated acknowledge (seminary head) another’s digRav Velvel Sowith dignity. nity? Grant evloveitchik in the ery person basic distance, coming decency. Refrain from denigratoward his building. He quickly tion and insults. Enhance the set the table and, while his wife prestige of the others around finished preparations for an you. Look for the image of God impromptu meal, the rabbi ran in every person, as illustrated to greet the renowned sage. in the following stories. As he drew closer, however, Roadside Tefillin. Walkit became clear that the elderly ing along a country lane, two man on the path only resemrabbis came upon a farmer bled Rav Soloveitchik from a greasing the wheels of his distance. wagon while wearing tefillin. The rabbi paused. He could pretend he had been running for some other reason and no one would know. However, he decided that if a nice meal had been prepared for the rav, it was also fitting for other company. So he invited the old man to his home where they dined
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together. Diamond Within. As Rabbi Abraham Twerski spoke to a group of ex-convicts in recovery, a man named Avi interrupted. “How can you talk to us about self-respect? I’ve been a thief since I was 8. When I’m out of prison I can’t find work, and my family doesn’t want to see me.” The rabbi responded, “Consider the diamonds in a jewelry store window. When they come out of the mine they’re lumps of dirty stone. You’re like that dirt-covered stone, and our business here is to find the diamond within and polish it until it glows.” Two years later, after completing the program, Avi was working in construction. While helping to move donated furniture into his former halfway house, an envelope bulging with cash fell out. Instead of keeping the unexpected find, Avi called the program director. Ultimately donated to the halfway house, the money provided for one more room, creating another opportunity for recovery. And Avi wasn’t a crook anymore. Today there’s a sign above the halfway house entry, “Diamonds Polished Here.” We are all diamonds in the rough. Nevertheless, every one of us and every person with whom we interact is created in the divine image, filled with a holy spark and imbued with infinite value, human equality, and individual uniqueness. We are all equally deserving of being treated with dignity. We are all capable of treating others with kavod habriyot. We can all polish the diamonds.
Literature to share Not a Partnership: Why We Keep Getting Marriage Wrong & How We Can Get It Right by Tod Jacobs and Dr. Peter Lynn. Combining ancient wisdom from Jewish tradition and Kabalah with insights from psychology research and clinical experience, the authors offer practical advice about ways of thinking and acting that contribute to a real-world flourishing marriage. Do you know what a successful marriage looks like? Isn’t a good marriage a 50-50 partnership? How can it be that love isn’t one of the four essential pillars of a flourishing marriage? Thoughtful, funny, and provocative, this slim volume is a wonderful read and a perfect engagement or wedding gift. 37 Days at Sea: Aboard the M.S. St. Louis 1939 by Barbara Krasner. Neither diary nor poetry but with elements of both, this freeform first-person Holocaust narrative recounts the story of the St. Louis through the youthful eyes of Ruthie Aarons. True events — false Cuban visas, America’s dismissive responses, the captain’s reluctant return to Europe — are incorporated into this historical fiction account. Targeted to middle grades, this muted introduction to a difficult topic is a recommended read.
THE DAYTON JEWISH OBSERVER • APRIL 2022
