JEWISH FAMILY EDUCATION
Not-so-random acts of kindness
Appearing in the Torah nearly 200 times, chesed is often considered Judaism’s most comprehensive and fundamental of all ethical virtues. This significance is captured by a well-known aphorism: “The world stands on three things: Torah, avodah (service to kindness generates an increase God), and gemilut chasadim (acts in oxytocin, the brain hormone responsible for the sense of con- of lovingkindness).” Despite their importance, nectedness and trust. “It's what helps societies bond (and keeps) however, the concepts of chesed and gemilut chasadim are not groups of people together,” explains psychiatrist Dr. Marcie easily explained. Chesed expresses both emotion and action, Hall. caring and compassion through Long before the advent of modern psychology, kindness — giving of oneself, the moral commitment we have to one another, chesed or gemilut chasadim — as simply because we are human. a virtue, an action, and a kind Gemilut chasadim emphaof social cement, was a central sizes the underlying notion that pillar of Judaism. chesed isn’t generally accomThe Torah is bookended by plished by momenacts of lovingkindGemilut tary random acts ness: God clothes of kindness, but, as Adam and Eve and chasadim Rabbi Sacks exburies Moses. In the Book of Exodus, should be our plained, by becomchesed — God’s mind-set and ing engaged with real people as we kindness and love lifestyle give of our time, cartoward humaning, and resources. ity — is listed as “It’s about how people live one of the 10 Divine attributes, together despite their differencwhich the Talmud explains are es…about working together for prototypes for how humans should act in relationship to one the sake of the common good.” And, Rabbi Paasche-Orlow another. points out, it’s when the com“So powerful is gemilut chasadim,” writes Rabbi Jeffery mand to “love your neighbor as Salkin, “that performing acts of yourself is truly fulfilled.” Here are some Jewish tales lovingkindness is the closest that that illustrate the notions of humans can come to a genuine chesed and gemilut chasadim. imitation of God.”
The Power of Stories
Assisting with the Albanian Muslim refugees in the late 1990s, Israel’s field medical team in Kosovo noted that the adultfocused aid agencies were overlooking the traumatized children. In response to its request for volunteers, virtually every secular and religious youth
Candace R. Kwiatek group in Israel sent teams of youth leaders who organized all manner of camp-style activities — from sports to the arts — to make the children’s temporary exile feel like a vacation. The late Rabbi Jonathan Sacks concluded that it demonstrated the beauty and healing power of kindness. Kindness is fundamental to a healthy society. Psychological research has identified kindness as a universal character strength and virtue, observed its contagious nature, and cataloged its significant physical and mental health benefits. One of the most intriguing discoveries is how
Yiddish folklore tells of the Rebbe of Nemirov, who would vanish early every Friday morning. His devoted followers concluded he must ascend to Heaven to plead on behalf of the community. A visiting Litvak, confident in his superior rational worldview, resolved to discover the real answer. One Friday, he secretly followed the Rebbe who, dressed as peasant, went into the forest. There, he chopped down a tree and split the logs into firewood which he carried in a bundle back to town. As the Litvak watched, the Rebbe knocked at the run-down-cottage of a poor widow, announcing he had kindling for sale. Assuring her she could pay on credit — after all, doesn’t God always provide? — he entered, stacked the firewood by the hearth, and lit a fire. Then the Rebbe returned home. From that time on, whenever the townspeople said their Rebbe ascended to Heaven, the Litvak—who became the Rebbe’s student—responded, “And maybe even higher.” A popular folk tale from prestate Israel tells the story of Hannale, who receives a new white Shabbat dress. Cautioned by her mother not to get dirty, the delighted Hannale heads outdoors and proudly shows the dress to her dog, Zoozie, and a nearby cow, Edna, carefully keeping it out of their reach. Hannale then
sees an old man with a heavy sack trudging out of the nearby woods. After showing him the dress, she asks about his sack, which he explains is filled with coal. She offers to help him carry it, and they walk together for a ways. Returning home, she discovers her dress is marred by black stains and bursts into tears. The early-rising moon looks down and whispers, “Are you sorry you helped the old man?” When Hannale replies no, she is just sad about the stains, the moon reassures her that all will be well. Shimmering moonbeams flow from the sky, turning the stains into spots of silvery light, making Hannale’s dress more beautiful than ever. There are 613 Torah commandments, the most central obligation of which is acting with lovingkindness, as noted by Rabbi Akiva: “This is a great principle of the Torah: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Fundamental to living a meaningful Jewish life and creating a good, cohesive society, gemilut chasadim should be our mind-set and lifestyle, guiding how we interact with family and friends, fellow citizens, and strangers, even when it is hard, writes civility author Stephen Carter. It would go a long way toward healing today’s fractured world.
Literature to share
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Be a Mensch: Unleash Your Power To Be Kind and Help Others by Elisa Udaskin. Being a mensch doesn’t require superpowers — just “simple shifts in your approach to everyday interactions.” Filled with real-world anecdotes and excellent insights, this slim book offers practical ideas for adults and kids about kindness and helping others through difficult situations from life’s tragedies to daily interactions: including when someone doesn’t meet our expectations. Be a Mensch is not only fun to read, it’s an eye-opener to many unexpected ways of being a good and kind person. Pink and Say by Patricia Palacco. Two Union soldiers, one White and one Black, meet on the battlefield. Their true story involves a rescue from the battlefields, a relationship built on common humanity, and the devastation wrought when people cannot see the image of God in one another. While written as an illustrated book for elementary ages, it is a powerful story of lovingkindness for adults as well, especially relevant in today’s fractured society. Hanna’s Sabbath Dress by Itzhak Schweiger-Dmi’el. An excellent YouTube video recording of this classic tale, also a PJ Library book, retold in a lovely British accent, available at Storytime with Raquel: centralsynagogue.org.uk/blog/story-time-raquelhannahs-sabbath-dress-itzhak-schweiger-dmiel/
THE DAYTON JEWISH OBSERVER • NOVEMBER 2021
