. n ew hotel has o p e n e d atMelb o u rne's Ct·own de\·elopment and Ihe early buzz hints at surprisi11gly fun k·y interiors. J'm dubious. t.lany things come to mind when thinking of Crown. but funl-.·y isn't one of them. As the cab eases into Crown :\let ropol's porte cochere, with its sleek silver roofclad Uke jel fuselage, and parking vulcts sporting tailored grey hoodics. I am prepared to suspend judgement. It's a wise move because one glimpse inside suggests this is a hotel tr~·ing \'ery hard not to be ordi nary. lllC foyer's cn rpct explodes in spirograph swirls of colour. Curved wu lls of white ash slnts lend a Scantli sex appeal. ando\·ersizedartworks.such ns Noe1Skrzypt7.nk's Good Time Garden Party, a 9-metre wall painting of what looks like melting gelati, make a memorable first impression. I cn n't wait to see the room. ~o disrespect meant to the Bates Smart designers ll'ho dearly laboured long and hard to create dist i11ctivc gue~t ~paces. but the first thing I notice on entering Luxe mom 2-1-12 ts the \'ie\\'. 'Jhe suite's glass exterior captures a panormnn st retching east to 1he silhouetted r1nndcnongs and 1\'CSLLo the high-rise heart oft l1e CI3D. t\ slick ofYarn.l flows thro ugh the middle: there seems to be activity en?rywherc. lhe t.letropol sits on the southern riverbnnk in the ~p rawlin g cle\C.•Iopment of " ·hal might be c<Jlled (1'01\' 11 Lnnd . where you'll also lind the ultro-posh Crown Toll'ers and its business-duss ~ ~ ablematc Crown Promenade. 01 the three, Crown ~ letropol \\'ill appeal to hip younger things who find the competition too c:-.pensi\'e or too corporate. rill ere are no balconies in the (l letropol's 658 rooms. a sensible precnution in a casino hotel. Hoom furni shings arc retro-modern. llH' spare timber lines of a chair and custom-made desk borrow heavily from mid-century Dr~nish design, while a plump chaise longue in grnphic
black-and-white print harks back to a '50s salon. At the other end of the interior's time line. the king bed rests on a thoroughly contemporary cream custom-made base agninsl t1 walJ of stript'S in gloss and mnlt black. Ryokan-inspired shoji screens di\'ide the bedroom from the mirrored white bathroom with its separate toilet and shower (no bath) cubicles. I like the room \'C'Jy much - it's individunl and surprising 1\'ithout compromisingcomfort - lwlnext day transfer to a Loft suite that I like e\·en more. It is double the size and almost double the cost of a standard room. with plenty of added but perhaps unnecessary extras such as guest powder room. clnakroom. four- place dining selling. three LCD televisions, three vast windows {so tri ple the views) and a c:wernous white bath I test-dri\'e and can confidently rate li\'l~·star. As with Lttxe rooms. the Loft decor is essentially black and white with fl ashes nf nnrx pected colour and art in this n1se a sculptural 1\'himsy of gunmclal bubbles and a d uster or black lamps and cords susp1mded abm·e the table. The mod-\'intage aesthetic works well. for the most part. but not e\·eryone willlm·e the baked-beanscoloured cnrpet. It's possibly a bit '70s-siennn-revival for some tastes. lndh•idtJal hand-coloured etchings. a collnboration between Victorian artists [),wid Band and Fraser Taylor, adorn every room, in keeping with the i\letropol's artistic bent. 'Ihe hotel art. valued nt nbout Sl million. comes>
A view less ord in ary Crow n Me tropol sets it self apart fro m its siblings with cuttinge dge design, from the wa lls of glass to th e 27th-floor swimming p ool fl a nked by sun loungers (opposite). 169
as u surprise rather than a statemenl: ceramk versions of paper cranes greel guests outside the lifts on each floor. while Chan Yu's pop collage of faces makes an intriguing welcome to 28. the Metropol's glamorous privnte lounge. 'This penthouse club lounge is arguably the hotel's most memorable feature. even more so than Gordon Ramsay's first-floor restaurant. 1\ laze (read Michael llurdcn's review on page 69). Its defining characteristic is a glass wall running the length of the room that frames a glittering diorama of.l\lelbourne, especially at night \\'hen it's lit up "like fairyland" (as I hear rocker Angry Anderson comment when he drops by for a look). Mctropol general manager llarley l. [oraitis plans to open 28 to hand-picked members oft he public on Friday and Saturday nights. For now. entry is restricted to premium guests. though mere mortals can buy access by paying $110 per night on lop of their room rate. Breakfnst is sen·ed to members at the east end of2S. If you arrive early enough. you can see the sun rise and. on calm days. 1\'ntch a dawn cloud of hot air balloons drift into view l'rom the Ynrra Valley. 1 cline here bot h momings and lap up the superb sheep's milk yoghurt with blueberry syrup. and pulled beef hash with shredded potato and crisp. double-smoked bacon. [t's got to be one of the tr~ st iest breakfast menus in t0\\11, though the exten~i\'e buffet at l\lnze Grill, the rela.xed partner restaurant to Rnmsay's ~laze. is a worthy challenger. At the other end of the penthouse floor is the hnr, a good-looking set-up of alligator-skin seats and embroidered leather bucket chairs that opens onto a ~heltered nnd heated terrace furnished with 1\lark Tuckey stools. I spend hours out here, chardonnay in hand. guzing at my hometown from on high. 1he smartest I ime to \'is it is during the bar's happy hour-and-a-half. from 5.30pm to 7pm, when guests get complimentary drinks. -You cnn drink as many gin and tonics as you like in 90 minutes!" a staffer exvlains cheerfully. He has no idea how a ll racti\'e that sounds. Between bar and breakfast is the lounge \\ith its cosy designer fu rniture - highlights are the origami-pleated do\'e-grey ancl dusk) •-blue bucket chairs- set around a 170
central firep lace. A massively macho flat-screen television dominates one wall. Beside it a surreal bookshelf by artist Da\·id Sequeira is stacked \dth dozens ofall-blue books.1lle effect is stri!Qng, but book-lovers may regret that the novels have been glued together and can't be read. It's all very impressh·e but the real 01\IG gasp of28 is the west-end view over the 27th-floor swimming pool. Five-metre-long bcaconlantems hover above neal rows of brighl sun loungers beside a 25-metre pool \dth infinity edge and drop-dead vie\\'S - part bird's eye. part fish eye all the way to the Macedon Ranges. So hO\\. is it in the water? I wouldn't know. I didn't bring my bathers. Stupid. But I do pop my head into the neighbouring gym and find it heaving\~ith exercisers, then slip into one of Isika spa's 10 treatment rooms for a back scrub. As a male, I find spas unfathomable and daunting. but my misghings dissolve as a pocket strongwoman exfoliates and pummels my back into submission. ller bedside manner is so compelling. I e\'en let her baste me in mud and \\Tap me in plastic like a marinating chock 'TI1e experience is enjoyably bizarre. After the cooking demo, she fl ips me over to aLtack my face with cleansers, scrub and a gel mask"\ \'hat's the main concern \\ith your face?" she asks. "It's old." I say. There's nothing in her armoury of high-end skincare products that can help me there. I don't cat at i\•laze, but I do order room service from the same kitchen. A perk-y-sounding Scottish guy takes my phone order for a i\laze burger. "i\nd how would you like that kooked?" "Um, medium. I guess:· ''Good choice. You still want some fl a\'Our in it!" he says brightly. 1l1e burger arrh•es within 30 minutes. Hiding beneath a silver warming lid is a white bun crad ling a chubby meat patty and A modest garnish of a\·ocado. lettuce, tomato and beetroot. It is satisfying but. frankly. I'm too busy staring out at the city lights to gi\'e it much thought. Ramsay's menu pro\'es no match for Melbourne by night.•:<
I'll E F l i\ L PlUl" I S IU)'
Crown Metropol IS offering open ng specials for Luxe rooms from $249, and Lo ft suites from $463. 8 Whiteman St.
Southbank, Melbourne, Vic, (03) 9292 8888, crown me tropol.com .au
gourmettraveller.com.au