QUICKSIPS 32SHORTSTORIES

INVENTEDHERE

JosephB.Friedmanwasathis brother’sestablishment,San inthe193Francisco’sVarsitySweetShop, 0swhenhenoticedhisdaughterstrugglingtodrink hermilkshakewithastraight paperstraw.Friedmanbrought dentalflossandascrthestrawhome,andusing itaccordionlikegroovesthatew,gave allowedittobend.

Manon fire

Imagine apostapocalypticdesertfullofretro-futuristicdieselpunkcreations andacastofcharactersoutfittedin a kaleidoscopic combinationoffringes, feathers and,sometimes,next tonothing at all. Whatkind ofworld isthis,you ask? (Hint: It’snot the dystopianOutback inGeorgeMiller’s“Mad Max.”) It’sBurningMan, theyearly collectiveoutburstof expressioninNevada’s BlackRockDesert,whichgot itsstart in(whereelse?) the BayArea.On June22,1986, atwhat hasbeen referred toas thefirst BurningMan, LarryHarvey and JerryJamestooktheirwooden effigyofamantoSan Francisco’sBaker Beach andignited it, sparking an annual tradition thatcontinuedinSanFrancisco for the nextfew years.Eventually, however,policeintervened andsaid thenamesakeeffigycould not beburned,giventhe potentialfire hazard. A changeinvenue wasneeded, sothe first Burning Man inBlack Rock Desertkickedoffin1990 — and the rest is flame-filled, mutant car-packed history.(Bonus: Themed temples,which have artisticaswell asspiritual significance for attendees, have become aBurningMantradition, and 2015’sTempleofPromise wasbuilt by the DreamersGuild in Alameda. Final constructiontook placeonlocation.As withtheman,thetemplesare burned eachyear.)

Onetown underdog

Let’s face it: Somepoliticians are all bark and no bite.In 1981, Bosco,ablack Labrador mix, was electedhonorarymayorof Sunol, an unincorporatedtownin Alameda Countywith fewer than 1,000residents. Boscobeattwo (non-canine) candidatesto win theelection. The politicalpooch —whoran as a“Re-pup-lican”— drew hisshare ofmediaattention, evenon theotherside ofthe world. Years afterBosco was elected,aChineseCommunist newspaper, the People’sDaily, apparentlynot realizingthe jocular premise, cited his rise to politicaloffice asanexample of the failureof democratic elections. Bosco serveduntilhis death in1994,butin Sunol, he lives on in spirit. Since 2008, a statue of him stands infront of thetown’spost office.

Thefault inourpark

If steppingonacrackwillbreak your mother’sback, we’dhate to find outwhat stepping on a work of art woulddo.Walking onthis piece, featuredbythe website Atlas Obscura, mightnot be quite thesameas leavingfootprints on the “Mona Lisa.”In fact, Golden Gate Park visitors might not evenrealize that there’san artisticcreation underfoot. If you look down atthe groundoutside thedeYoung Museum inSan Francisco,you can see“Drawn Stone,” which looks like a long, continuous crack. Thework,by Englishartist AndyGoldsworthy, runs from theroad outside the museum throughthecourtyard and to the front door;it was inspired bythe state’stectonic topography.Thecrackfractures off into smaller fissuresand slabs, madeof stone from the artist’s homeland, for visitors to sit on. And some people have the nerve to say modern artis useless.

Lambyou, autocorrect

Do youevergetthesense that technologyisnot cooperating withyou? Well,you’renot alone. One such problem in our digital age is the ubiquitous phenomenon of spell-checkersmiscorrecting aword.Thiserroneous autocorrection hasaname: It’s called the Cupertino effect.After 1997’sMicrosoft Word rolled out, European Union translators began seeingthe name of the South Bay city—the home of Apple headquarters — comeup in their documents.As itturnedout, the unhyphenated “cooperation” had beencorrecting to “Cupertino,” according to a NewYorkTimes article. Thefactoid-packed Mental Flossmagazine notes somegood examples of theCupertino effect in action — including an Italian recipethat instructs cooks to “Stir in prostitute, provolone, pine nuts” andother ingredients. Andwethought prosciutto was expensive.

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Amatteroftime

Here’sastory—recounted intheVallejoTimes-Herald — thatshould stand the testoftime: Apublictimepieceat 316 Georgia St.inthatcitygot thepeculiar name“TheAlibi Clock” becauseofits rolein thecaseoftwo labor radicals accused of setting offabombduring the1916 SanFrancisco Preparedness DayParade.Theparade, in which tens of thousands of people participated,wasorganized to inspire support fortheUnitedStates’entry into World WarIand was a targetofradicals. Inaphotographthatcameup in trial,thetime onthe clock, which originallystoodat MarketStreetin San Francisco, aswell as thelocation, made it clearthat themaninthephoto—Thomas Mooney,who wasseen watching the parade onaroof with hiswife—was nowhere nearthesiteoftheexplosion, which killed 10 andinjured 40.Nevertheless, Mooney,aswell as WarrenBillings — a fellowlaborleaderalso accused inthebombing —wereconvicted ontestimonylater proved tobeperjured, according tothe ACLU,and thetwo were sentenced to be hanged. Thetwo —first Mooney,then later Billings — eventuallywerepardoned. Billings, while serving time in FolsomPrison,learnedskillsto become—getthis — awatchmaker, which hepursued oncehe attained freedom. Tothis day,the mysteryofwho set offthe bomb lives on.

Fan frugality

Can’tafford atickettothe game? Putonyourhiking boots. Cheapskate fans havehad afree view ofCal football games from Tightwad Hill,overlooking the east rimof MemorialStadium, since thestadium was built in 1923. What towear? Earplugs. Tightwad Hillishome tothe CaliforniaVictory Cannon, whichfiresafter eachBears score. (On one occasion, a1991 game againstPacific in which Cal scored12 touchdowns, the cannonranout of ammo.) What not to wear?Red,the color of rival StanfordCardinal. While you’re up there straddling the Hayward Fault, check outthe Bay Area views,whichcould impress eventhe most jaded Bears fans, who are lamenting the team’s 56-yearRoseBowl drought.

(Bonus:Originally, themascots that appeared atCal’sfootball games werereal,live bears. In 1940, itwas decided togo with acostumedmascot instead, according to Cal. Good call.)

Historylives nextdoor

San Francisco’sFillmore is brimming with cultural significance — onelook atthe massive collection of photos and posterson the walls within the venue willmakethat clear— but passers-bymay notknowthe historical significanceofthe site of theGeary Boulevardpostoffice next door.Thespot once was the location of asynagogue, but the building was vacant by the1970s. Thenit was taken over by a charismaticpreacher(Jim Jones —heard ofhim?), according to “San Francisco’sFillmore District”by Robert F.Oaks. Jones’following grew,he relocatedto Guyana, andthe rest —includingthe infamous batch of grapepunch — is history,as they say.After the1989Loma Prietaearthquake, thebuilding usedbyJoneswastorndown, making wayfor thepost office that stands there today.

Mystical mail

Going to thepost officehasnever beenso adorable. Since December 2013, aknothole in a treeonthe Curran TrailinTildenPark in theBerkeleyhillshas beenhome to a fairy post office, complete withappropriately proportioned furniture. Thinkthe soap dolltree from “ToKill aMockingbird” — but much cuter. The minuscule post office, as recounted by thewebsiteAtlas Obscura, was installedby Leafcutter Designs, acreative studio and online shopbasedin Berkeley.Asofa JunedispatchontheLeafcutter Designswebsite,the postoffice is intactand still in business. Althoughsome itemshave disappeared,hikershave added their own touches, including a tiny stuffed horse, a miniature coat hanger and plenty offan mail. Itmay not have itsown postalcode, but it does have its own hashtag — visitorsareasked to tag their photos with #tildenpo. What makes this betterthan the actual post office?Nolines.

Let’sgetsmall

Ah,theBay Area—wheretheonly things asubiquitous as yogamatsand plumes ofpot smoke arecomplaints aboutskyhigh housing prices.Ifyou think high costshaveforcedyouinto tinyquarters, consider thefolks whosedigsaremadefrom shipping containers,the metal boxesthat line the bayside landscape.“It’skind ofablankspace,”says LukeIseman,who lives in an EastBay warehouseamongother shipping containersand theirinhabitants.“You can do whatyou want withit.”Iseman leftSanFrancisco andmovedtoaWest Oaklandlot,which became the first BayArea location for his shipping-container dwelling. His issimilar to a studioapartment.Hehasaninduction burnerand convection oven, asinkwith hotwater,a refrigeratorand a shower, andthe warehousehas aflushtoilet.Containers areamere160square feetand cost $2,300, delivered toOakland.Heputabout $10,000 into converting it,including a solar systemand “a lot oflearningmistakes.”

Through his company,Boxouse, Iseman helpspeople wishingto experience the shipping-containerlife.Iseman sayshis way of living hasput thingsinperspective. Inhisoriginallocation,he hadtomove atankofhis ownwaterwithaforklift.

“Having to physically move thewater — even with machinery —gavemeasenseoftheamountofwaterweactually use.”

Smooth operator

Moveover, GeorgeWashington Carver.It’stimeto shine alight on JosephL. Rosefield, the father of innovations thathave spread throughout the peanutbutter industry and havestuck around to this day.In theearly 1920s, Rosefield, whosefamily business, Rosefield Packing,was basedin Alameda, filedapatentfor the partialhydrogenation process to make modern, nonseparating peanutbutter, accordingto “Creamy and Crunchy,”ahistory of peanut butter. And hisprocess of churning, ratherthangrinding, peanutsgavehis peanutbutter asmoother texture. Healso began using wide-mouthjars, now the industry standard.As if that weren’tenough, he invented chunkypeanutbutter. Rosefield Packing was aheadofits time —it wasmakingachocolate-andpeanut-butter confectionas early as 1918, yearsbefore theReese’scup came out. A monument atWebster StreetandAtlanticAvenue marks theformer location of Rosefield Packing, which alsooriginated Skippy,still populartoday.

No‘H’? Noproblem

What’sin aname?In thecase of the East ContraCosta city of Pittsburg, quite a lot, it turns out. Pittsburg, thetownof60,000-plus residents at theconfluence of theSacramento andSan Joaquin rivers, hasahistory of changing itsname. The town was called NewYorkof thePacific,possibly because theman who laidout thetown wasaNewYorknative, and was renamedBlack Diamond after coal was discoverednearby. Avote in 1911 establishedthe moniker usedtoday.According to the city,Pittsburg was named after Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, aplacewith which itshares a historyof steelmanufacturing — Columbia GenevaSteelopened in Pittsburg in 1906.The “H”was removedtosimplify the spelling.

FreedomMarch, BayArea-style

Before theBlack Power salute seenaround the world, San JoseState Spartan (and 1968 200-meterOlympic gold medalist) TommieSmith was involved inactivismin the Bay Area.According to his autobiography,he joinedother SJSUstudents and athletesin a60-milemarch,which took place March 13-14,1965,from the campus to San Francisco. Like any world-class athlete would do, Smith setoffto join the other marchers—who weresupporting the efforts of thepeople fighting for civil rights in the South—only after participating in a track meet. Althoughtheendofthe march was somewhatanticlimactic — the politicianwhowassupposed to meetthem didn’tshow up — it was important for Smith. Inhis words, “It signifiedfor me,forthe first time, that beingoneofthe best in the world in anyactivity obligatedyoutocontribute.”

Makingwaves

Intheworld ofsportsand beyond, “TheWave” hasmadeasplash.Whathas beencalledthefirst recordedWave occurredOct. 15,1981, in Oakland atan A’splayoffgame againsttheNewYorkYankees, and was led by cheerleader Krazy George Henderson, aSanJose State alum.As theSanFrancisco Examiner’sBuckyWalter later wrote:“A study of the NBCvideotapeverifies Krazy George’sclaim. Inthefifth,seventh and ninth innings,arollingwave occurred. It wasunmistakably,indisputably the inception of theFan Wave.” Henderson has led cheers formore acronymic sports organizations — including theNBA,MLBandNHL — thanyou can shake a drumstickat(he’sknown forleading cheerswithhistrustyhand drum). These days, theWavehappensateventsaround theworld. One place where theWave hasn’tcaught on? AT&TPark. Although the Waveisnot banned there, many Giants fansfrownupon it. Recently,as a contestant in the 10th seasonof“America’sGot Talent,”Hendersonledthe audience inaWavebut wasquickly buzzed by the judges,whogave himawave of their own—wavinghim goodbye.Butit’sclear Henderson has madeanimprint, and he’sstill going strong. As Hendersonhimself says inthe titleofhis ownbook, he’s“stillkrazyafter all these cheers.”

UnitedNations— inMoragaValley?

TheBay Area isavirtual United Nations ofsorts —ahotbedof diversity.Butthe regionhas an early linktothe historyof the actual United Nations.In 1945, ameeting of nations was held attheSan Francisco Memorial Opera House, atwhichacharter was producedthat wenton to establishthe U.N.Interest in Contra Costa Countyasa location for U.N.headquarters was reportedas early asMarch 1945.The ContraCosta Board of Supervisorsendorsedthe notion of placingU.N.HQin Moraga Valley,and thearea was toutedfor itslandandtheease of access from San Francisco, according to “Capital of the World” byCharleneMires.Site inspectors, however, rejected the idea infavorofasite closer to San Francisco. Since1952, acomplex in Manhattan has servedasthe U.N.headquarters.

Pixar touch

Weall know that Emeryville is home toPixar.But casual viewers of thestudio’sflicks may not know howmanyBay Area touches make it intothe movies. Emeryvillegets somelovein films suchas “Cars” and“ToyStory 3” (an application for acollege locatedin Emeryville isseen on Andy’sbulletin board). For 2007’s “Ratatouille,” producer Brad Lewis internedat Yountville’s famedFrench Laundry.Local favorite FentonsCreameryin Oakland is in 2009’s“Up.”“Inside Out,”releasedthis past summer, is set inSan Francisco and features numerous Fog Citylandmarks. And Richmond’sHidden CityCafe (now closed) is seenin“Monsters, Inc.”Thecafe is said to be the site wherePixar filmmakersspawned theideasfor“A Bug’sLife,” “Monsters, Inc.,” “FindingNemo” and “WALL-E” —inonemeeting. Notbad foraday’swork.

The(firstand) lastemperor

San Francisco is fullof highsocietytypesnowadays.Butdid youknow it also was hometoan emperor? In1859, JoshuaNorton, an English-born businessman who losthis fortune, pronounced himself the “Emperorofthe UnitedStates and Protectorof Mexico” inthe SanFrancisco Bulletin, according to theSan Francisco Museumand Historical Society.San Francisco residents embraced theself-proclaimed emperor,and theeccentricNorton —who,amongother“official” functions, issuedproclamations, had his owncurrency printed and attended sessions ofgovernment —becamesomething ofalocal celebrity.Herode freeonpublic transit and was immortalized by one of the American literary greats: MarkTwain, who moved to San Francisco while Norton was emperor,revealedthat thecharacter of the King in “Adventuresof HuckleberryFinn” was based on Norton.

Restingamongthebest

Millamongmillionaires andother interestingfigures at Oakland’sMountain View Cemetery.Along with itsstunning views, thecemetery is known as thefinal restingplace ofbusinesstycoons, politicians, Civil Warveteransand eventhe victim of anotorious, unsolvedmurder.Among thoselaid torestat thecemetery,located at the endofPiedmont Avenue, are architect Julia Morgan, who designedhundreds ofbuildings, including Hearst Castle;BernardMaybeck, who mentored Morgan anddesignedSanFrancisco’sPalaceofFineArts; physicianand formerOakland MayorSamuelMerritt(and MerrittCollegeand LakeMerrittnamesake);Ina Coolbrith, the state’sfirst poetlaureate; multiple Californiagovernors; and Elizabeth Short, “TheBlack Dahlia,” whose 1947murder in Los Angelesremainsamystery.JamesA.Folger,of coffee companyfame,DomingoGhirardelli — yes,thatGhirardelli — and mining magnate Francis Marion “Borax”Smithalso rest atthehistoriccemetery,designedbyfamedlandscapearchitectFrederick LawOlmsted,whoseprolificcareerincluded designing NewYork’sCentral Park and theStanfordUniversitycampus. (Bonus: They may notbeconsidered Wonders of the World, butthe cemetery’spyramid-shaped mausoleums are sightstobehold —providedyou can spotthem.)

Cafe ofcats

Who knewthatcats andcaffeine pairsonicely? Toexperience this curious combination, look no furtherthan Oakland’sCat TownCafe, at2869Broadway, whichbecame the nation’sfirst permanentcatcafewhenit opened inOctober 2014.Cat cafes offer patrons the chance to grab a biteandinteract with feline friends inasingle venue, but to satisfyhealth regulations, Cat Town Cafeissplit into two: Ithasacafe, which offers coffee and baked goods,andthe Cat Zone, with free-roaming felines awaiting adoption.TheCat Town Cafe, which helps emptycages at theshelter,is an extensionofthe effortsofCatTown, anonprofit cat rescue organization. But the concept ofcatcafes is nothing new —they arepopularin Japan, and sinceCat Town Cafeopened, other catcafes have appeared in various locationsacross the country.To make adonation or aCatZone reservation, goto http://cattowncafe.com.

Gay,not-so-gay bythebay

Yes,San Francisco is something of a Promised Landforgay folks. It has theCastro, the Pride Parade, andmore gaybars and rainbow flags than you can shake astickat. Itmay come as no surprise, then, thatthe resultsof aGallup surveyreleased inMarch of the 50 biggestmetropolitan areas in thenationshowedthe San Francisco area (including Oakland and Hayward)has thehighest concentration of LGBT-identified residents inthe nation, at6.2 percent.Nothing shocking there. Infact, it’dbe kindof shocking if thatweren’t true. On theother hand, the San Jose area (including Santa Claraand Sunnyvale)ranked as havingamong thelowest concentrations, at 3.2percent. Note: Ifyou’rekeepingtrack,it was the Birmingham, Alabama, area thatcame in as havingthe lowest rate—2.6 percent—of LGBT-identified residents.

History laidbear

Seenabear in California lately? If you’vebeentoazoo, Folsom StreetFair or Bear Pridelately— whoops, wrong kindofbear — the odds are quite high.But we’re talking wild grizzlies, which have beenwipedout inCalifornia. So howdidthe grizzlygeton the stateflag? Despite whata gag Snopes.com entrysays, the bear was not included onthe flag because someone misread the word “pear”—“PearFlag Republic”just doesn’tsound right, anyway.To learn the real answer,wehavetogoback to the Bear Flag Revolt.In 1846, agroupof Americans captured the cityof Sonoma from the Mexicangovernment. California was declared independent, and aflag was raised.The banner included a star andabear,an animal that wasfairlycommon back then. Thatflag servedas the basis of theCalifornia flag we seeallover the state today.

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Abiggerbeam

Itmight not be attached tothehead ofashark, but wethink it’sstill prettydarn cool.Lawrence LivermoreLab’s NationalIgnition Facilityishome to the largestand highest-energylaser systemintheworld,according tothe U.S. Departmentof Energy.NIF’s192 beams, housed ina10-storybuilding,canemitnearly2millionjoulesofultraviolet laser energy inbillionth-of-a-secondpulses onto a targetabout the sizeof apencil’seraser.Last year,the laser system made news because of a newstudy inwhich scientistssubjecteddiamonds tothelasersystemto getasense ofwhat happens in thecores of huge planets.(Using diamonds inthe name of research? What’snext? Achinchillacoat and Cristal?)Those planetarycores,much likefranticrush-hour commutes across thebay,canbehigh-pressure situations — which is whythelasercame inhandy. Ifyou’re aTrekkie — if you’ve readthis muchaboutlasers,the oddsare not low—then you might already knowthatNIF was seeninJ.J.Abrams’“Star TrekInto Darkness,”where it playedtheEnterprise’swarp core. We’rehopingthe facilityand the lab’shelpful innovations live long and prosper. Side note: There arenoknown plansfor Abrams to use the NIFinanyupcomingmovies. Butafanboy can dream.

Fatal attraction

TheGreat Wall of China, the Eiffel Towerand theGolden Gate Bridge: Aside from being tourism hotspots, alloftheseplaces are also knownas “suicide magnets.” In1995, as the numberof Golden Gate Bridge jumpers approached 1,000,aradio DJ offered afree case ofSnapplefor thefamilyof the1,000th jumper.InJuneof that year, todiscouragerecord breakers, theCalifornia Highway Patrol stoppedthe officialsuicide countat 997,according to news reports. Theunofficial1,000th jumper —a25-year-old man — leapt from thebridge the next month. Last year, the Golden Gate Bridge board approved funding and a design for asuicidebarrier on the bridge,meantto deter would-bejumpersfrommaking theplunge of morethan200 feet.

Ifwalls couldtalk...

Theformersite ofwhatwas referredto as the “GreatAsylum for the Insane” now is occupied by one of Silicon Valley’shottest tech companies.Agnews inSanta Clara,which was established in the late 1800sas afacility for the mentallyill,probably is best-known asthe place where more than 100 peoplewerekilled in 1906afterthe San Francisco earthquake;it’ssaidtobethe greatestloss of life in Santa Clara County.Since1997, Agnews has beenon theNational Register of HistoricPlaces. So who nowowns thehistoricspot thathas drawn interestfrom everyonefrom historybuffs to self-styledghost hunters? Oracle,which usesitfor R&Dandasaconferencecenter. (Bonus:GreenDay,thehugely successful pop-punk outfit from theEastBay,filmed the music video for“BasketCase,” a single from theirlandmark “Dookie” album, atthelocation.)

Wherethe buffaloroam

“Whatazoo!” isan expression usuallyreservedforplaces such as Pier 39and similartourist traps within San Francisco. Butdid you know thatGolden Gate Park once was the site of an actual free-range zoo?It included goats, elk, caribou, zebras,peacocks, quails, kangaroos, bison andevena bear pit. In thelate 1920s,Park Superintendent John McLaren suggested that thecity find a better localefor azoo,and the animals becameapart of the San Francisco Zoological Gardens.Today,near Spreckels Lakein thepark, furryreminders of the park’szoological past roam thelandscape. Thebisonarethe last remaining vestigesofthe park’smenagerie of animals. Theywere moved from the easternpartof thepark to the meadow theycurrentlyinhabit, and they’recared for by San Francisco Zoostaffmembers.

Simplygroundbreaking

TheSanJose Earthquakeshave shaken thingsupwith theirnewstadium. Before AvayaStadium even existed, thestructure’s groundbreaking wasrecognized by GuinnessWorld Recordsas theworld’slargestintermsofparticipants. There were 6,256 people on hand for theOctober 2012event, andtheEarthquakesprovided6,000shovels for fanstobreakground. Tomake itofficial, everyone had to pitchinfortwominutes. Since the participantsoutnumberedthe shovelsprovided, some people usedtheirown shovels, andsome were more creative.“Somekids brought a Tonka truck withalittle scooperon it,” says Jed Mettee, vice presidentofmarketing and communications.Apart fromthegroundbreaking,the stadium holds some distinctions of its own. Itis thefirstcloud-enabled stadium inMajorLeague Soccer,and its robustnetwork makesiteasier to add newtechnologiesin the future.If you’reatechie, you mighthavenoticed thatapattern of coloredseats in sections117 and 118spell out a secretmessage—“GO EQ” — inbinary code. Andwhatbetterplacefor a seismographthanEarthquakes HQ? The U.S. GeologicalSurveyhas installed onein the Earthquakesofficestodetectground movement, andit’ssensitive enough to recordvibrationsof roaring fans. (Bonus: TheEarthquakeswereSan Jose’sfirstmajor professional sports team.)

There’s alight

TheLivermore area has seenalot of lightbulb moments —some in itslabs, someatits vineyards.But what happenswhen alightbulb moment lasts for more than a century? That’sexactly what’s happening atFireStation No. 6, home ofthe Livermore Centennial Light Bulb, whichhasbeen burning, albeitnotcontinuously, since it wasinstalled in 1901. Thebulbhasbeenburning 24hoursadaytoilluminate thefire engines, but it has been moved afew times, mostrecently in 1976 to its current location. The hand-blown bulb with acarbon filamentoriginally glowedat60 watts but now burnsat 4 watts, and it has beenrecognizedby Guinness World Records as thelongest-burning lightbulb. Sound familiar? You might have seenit on “Mythbusters.”

Straightfrom the‘Heart’

TonyBennett,who has been introduced toawholenew audiencethrough hisduets withLadyGaga, isatime-tested crooner of the highest caliber. And we’veallheard “I Left MyHeartin SanFrancisco,” his signature song,yetmany people maybeunfamiliar with itsoriginstory.Thesongwas written inthe early 1950sby agaycouple,lyricistDouglass Cross andcomposer George Cory,who lived inthe Bay Area but relocatedto NewYork.Cross grew upin Oakland and Coryin San Francisco and MillValley, according to reports, andthe twocame back to Californiain the’60s — in time forthemto seetheirfamous work be named San Francisco’sofficial song. On Valentine’sDay 2012, San Francisco celebratedthe50th anniversaryofBennett’s signature song, and Mayor Ed Lee declared the occasion “TonyBennettDay.”

Thestoryabout morningglory

What adrain!TheMorning Glory Spillwaynear Napa County’s Monticello Dam, whichdams LakeBerryessa,generally is knownasthe largestdrain hole —atype ofspillwayshaped likea giganticcement funnel — in the world, according to aU.S. Bureau of Reclamation official. Cheekily referred to by locals as the “TheGloryHole,” itis 72 feet across and allows watertobypass the dam when the lakereaches its capacityof1,602,000acre-feet. Thehole, which is writtenabout atthe website Atlas Obscura, was constructedin the 1950s andcan beseen by lake visitors andonGoogle Maps. Some skateboarders and BMX bikers have beenknownto usetheexit pipe—afull pipe—as a spot to shred. But if you think “TheGlory Hole”beckons you, thinkagain.In 1997, aDaviswomandiedwhen she was suckeddown the spillway.

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FabFour’s‘Hello,Goodbye’

Here’ssome Beatles trivia thatyou can’tgetby playingoneoftheir records backward.Althoughthe Beatles—and Beatlemania — spanned the globe, the venuetheyplayed ontheir firstNorth American tour date and the location where they performed their finalscheduledconcertwerewithin miles ofeach other. Althoughthey had performedshowsintheU.S., theFabFour kicked offtheir firstproper North American tour Aug. 19,1964,at DalyCity’s Cow Palace.And it was adjacent San Francisco thatserved asthebackdropfortheendofachapter fortheBeatles. Their finalannouncedconcert tookplace Aug.29,1966, atCandlestick Park,although thefamous, unplanned rooftopconcert inLondon occurred inJanuary 1969, marking the band’sfinal publicperformance.In afull-circlemoment,inAugust2014,SirPaul McCartneyreturned to Candlestick forapredemolition show atthestadium. (Bonus: Howdidthe Cow Palacegetitsname? Thelivestock portion of the 1915Pan-PacificInternational Expositionprovedpopular,prompting businessleaders to comeupwith anidea for apermanentvenue for an animalexpo.Duringthe GreatDepression,the ideaofusing public money for the site duringa period ofsuch great struggle caughtflak,leadingone newspaper writer to questionthe ideaof funding a “palace forcows.”)

Wind itup

Where isthe largestwind tunnel in the world, you ask? The answer, myfriend, is blowin’ inthe wind. Actually,the answer is Mountain View’sNASAAmes Research Center.TheNational Full-Scale AerodynamicsComplex, orNFAC, locatedat Ames, is hometoa 40-by-80-foot testsection and an 80-by-120-foot testsection, thelatter of which is capable of testing a full-sizeBoeing 737.These two testsections are thesecond-largestandlargest windtunnels in theworld, and according to NASA,nearlyevery model of major commercial American aircraft builtin thepast quarter-centuryorsohasbeen testedat NFAC.The larger of the twotest sectionscan providetest velocitiesofasmuch as100knots, or 115 mph, and the smaller can blow you away atspeeds of as muchas 300knots, or 345 mph.

Adifferentkind of#PizzaRat

Longbefore#PizzaRatwas dragging NewYorkslicesacross subway floors (YouTube itif you don’tunderstand), another pizza ratwas looming largeinSan Jose. The statue, saidto bethe largestratin theworld,resides ataChuckE. Cheese’soutpost near Highway101 andTully Road in SanJose. Who came up with theidea forthe larger-than-life rodent? Nolan Bushnell, thecofounder of Atari and founderof Chuck E. Cheese’s.The building had avery large window,and Bushnell“felt the best use would be to fill it with the rat.” Bushnellalsois the reason for a ratbeing thepostercritterforthe establishment in the firstplace —but itwas throughahappy accident, when he bought what he thought was acoyotecostume atatradeshow. (Bonus:The first Chuck E. Cheese’swas atTown and CountryShoppingCenter on Winchester BoulevardinSanJose and was an immediate success.)

Noplace likegnome

Afew years ago,in the neighborhoods near Lake Merritt, little fellowswith pointyhats and beardsbegan poppingup in largenumbers. No,we’re not talking about hipsters (though thereareplenty of those, too). We’re talking about gnomes.The inches-tall paintedfiguresare seenon pieces of wood affixedto telephone poles,at sidewalk level. Theyhave pleased manypassersby, whose days aremade alittle more magical by their presence. ButPacificGas&Electric at first saidthemystical creatures were compromising its equipment, and theutility wantedthem removed. PG&E, however,later reversed courseafteranoutpouring of support forthe little guys, and declared the utilitypoles“gnomeman’sland.”(Bonus:The gnomes tendto live near Lake Merritt, whichholds adistinction of its own. Designated in 1870,Lake Merrittis the oldestofficial wildliferefugein the nation.)

Braingames

ForthisBayArea-themed puzzle,enterthesolutionstotheclues below. Then unscramble thehighlightedletterstosolveforthefollowing: Scenes fromthisOscarwinnerwereshotatSan Francisco’sPier45.

1Theworld’slargesttemporary corn maze,verifiedbyGuinnessWorld Records, wasmadein thisnortheastern BayArealocation.

2Thistoweris thethird-tallest bell and clocktower in the world.

3Thisfamedfamilial duo offunnymen attendedSanJoseState.

4Adistilleryinthis city wasthe firstinthenationto releaseAmerican-madeabsinthe after thebanwas liftedin2007.

5Thiscastlelikestructure in Richmond, now abandoned,oncewasknown as theworld’slargestwinery.

6Seabiscuittrained for hiscomeback atafacilityinthis city.

7Thisiconic writerranfor Oakland mayorontheSocialist ticket.