Silver Linings: Finding the Beauty in Quarantine

Silver Linings

Finding beauty in quarantine

Not that long ago, days for Wendy Fraioli and her family rushed by in a flurry of busyness.

Fraioli, a mom of two, and her husband work day jobs at University of Massachusetts Medical School and in the evenings run a small business, Villari's Martial Arts Center of Shrewsbury. Their routine was a juggling act that most working parents know well; an exhausting daily sprint of running here and rushing there.

“I had to pick up this one from preschool and that one from the babysitter, then go home and change my clothes while debriefing our days, before I had to bring them back to the babysitter,” Fraioli said. “It was always a struggle for me to make the two hours between work shifts quality time with my kids.”

But a few weeks ago, the busyness came to a halt with the closure of schools and non-essential businesses to slow the spread of the coronavirus. The Fraiolis shut the karate school and transitioned their day jobs to work-from-home, and suddenly, their world shrank to their Worcester home.

It’s been hard, to be sure. Closing the doors to their business was devastating, and working remotely with children at home presents its own myriad of challenges. BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER

Photographer Melody Paine captures little moments while in isolation with her husband David, and children Carter, Caleb and Julia. FAMILY STORIES BY MELODY JOY

But slowing down has also been unexpectedly refreshing, Fraioli said.

“Having both lunch and dinner with my children every day, having time to do art projects and play outside, to sit together to watch TV or read books? It's been amazing,” she said.

Amid the closures and stay-at-home advisories, most families have struggled to adjust to a new reality. Parents have had to play the role of teacher, a job for which they have no training. They’ve had to adapt to a new way of working, if they’re lucky enough to be working at all.

On top of that, there’s anxieties to manage, cancelations to grieve, and households to run.

But like Fraioli, many families are trying to find some good in the crisis: there’s nothing to do but slow down; nowhere to be but together. The pandemic has dealt families plenty of stress, but also some blessings, too.

For Kristen Costa, of Somerset, quarantine offered the chance to be present for some milestone moments. Costa, a museum curator, and her engineer husband might have missed the first time their 10-month-old son Gray said “mama” or pulled himself up to creep along the furniture had they not been working from home.

“We’ve also been taking lovely walks as a family that we never did,” she said. “I mean, maybe on the

weekends, but not at 11 a.m. on Monday.”

In Brimfield, photographer and mom of three Melody Paine has been documenting the spe- cial moments that have occured while she’s sheltering-in-place with her family, and sharing them on social media with the hashtag #beautyinquarantine.

A sort of call to action, she’s asked others to do the same, creating a space online to focus on the everyday joyful moments taking place in the midst of social distancing and isolation.

It’s not that her life has been picture perfect throughout the crisis -- in fact, just the opposite, she said. She and her husband, both small business owners, have had to put their livelihoods on hold. At times, she’s been filled with anxiety. And in between smiles, her chil- dren have had their meltdowns. She’s not being inauthentic, she’s just choosing to capture the good.

“A lot of people are like, beauty? I don't see any beauty right now. How can you focus on that when we're in such a crisis place?” Paine said. “But em- bracing the beauty and seeing a silver lining in one moment doesn’t mean you have to do that everyday. We can freeze the things we want to remember in our mind without pretending that everything is good.”

Dr. Beverly Nazarian, a pe- diatrician at UMass Memorial Medical Center, agrees that there’s a benefit in trying to recognize the bright side of the situation, however dim it may be. Certainly, there is plenty that parents and children have missed out on in quarantine — socializing with friends, sports and afterschool activities, even vacations, proms and gradua- tions. But it can help to focus on what’s in front of them.

“Finding the silver lining is a really important thing,” she said. “For our kids, ask them, ‘what’s something that’s been good about all this?’”

Maybe it’s being able to re- connect, or discover activities that they’d never had time to do before, like cooking together, board games, or family walks, she said.

“In our house would we ever sit down and do a 1000 piece puzzle? No. But we’ve done that,” said Dr. Nazarian.

Findings in psychology research show that positive emotions help us to undo the negative effects of stress. Rec- ognizing the small moments of happiness in our days -- the pro- verbial silver linings -- can help us cope until the clouds break.

It’s an outlook many parents, like Fraioli, are trying to be mindful of.

“It's not perfect. My daughter is two and being home all the time can be tedious. When it rains too hard for us to go out- side, my God, is this miserable,” she said. “But now the bad times are moments in a long day rather than my entire twohour timespan spent with my kids that day. I know it's going to be hard to go back to the busy schedule when the world turns back over again.”

Virtual tours and online adventures

Families may be staying home, but that doesn’t mean they can’t do some exploring. We’ve rounded up some of the coolest online resources for fun, projects, and adventures near and far.

Google Museums Tours

Google has partnered with over 2,500 museums worldwide to offer virtual tours. From the Anne Frank Museum in the Netherlands, to the Acropolis Museum in Greece to the Bay State’s own Museum of Fine Arts, you can explore the galleries with no need to buy tickets or find parking. Go to

https://artsandculture.google. com/partner?hl=en.

WAM Art Together

A new Art Together video is posted to the Worcester Art Museum Facebook page every Wednesday. Each program features story time with an illustrated children’s book, an inspiration work of art from the WAM collection, and activities for both young and older children.

Discovery at Home

The Discovery Museum is sharing its most popular fun and learning activities. Go to discoveryacton.org to find nature scavenger hunts, kitchen chemistry projects, a giant bubble DIY, flashlight games and more.

#FindingWaldoAtHome

A Where’s Waldo-themed web portal with activity sheets, book info and videos is at https://waldo.candlewick. com/. With #FindWaldoAtHome families can follow Candlewick Press’s social media accounts to see prompts to hide Waldo in various locations at home or doing common activities, and to share their photos.

Highlights@Home

This free email subscription provides fun and memorable activities to enjoy while sequestered at home. Themed collections organized around family-friendly topics will be emailed twice a week – each one filled with stories, puzzles, videos, games, creative activities like crafts or recipes, physical activities and suggested acts of kindness. Sign up at highlights.com.

New England Aquarium

Daily presentations are posted on the aquarium’s Facebook page at 11 a.m. Dive right in the tank and watch staff feed and care for wildlife in a virtual visit.

Monterey Bay Aquarium

Be delighted by the antics of sea otters or mellow out to the hypnotic drifting of jellyfish. With ten live cams to choose from, you can experience the wonder of the ocean no matter where you are at montereybayaquarium.org.

Yellowstone National Park

Yellowstone is one of the most spectacular national parks in the United States. Kids can view landmarks like Old Faithful, the Mammoth Hot Springs, and the Fountain Paint Pot at https://www.nps.gov/ yell/learn/photosmultimedia/ virtualtours.htm.

Great Wall of China Tour

No passport needed for this panoramic tour that allows you to walk through one of the oldest and most historically significant wonders of the world. Find it at thechinaguide. com.

More virtual field trips and fun is at baystateparent.com.

Backyard Fun

5 budget-friendly backyard activities to entertain kids at home

• Fill the water balloons with water, tie each with a knot, and then tie a string around each knot • Tie several water balloons to the rope using the attached strings so that the balloons hang overhead like a row of piñatas • Have each child take a turn swinging the plastic bat to see how many balloons they can burst in 30 seconds

DOLORES SMYTH “M om, I’m bored!”

Those three words strung together can trigger waves of anxiety in any parent, especially now, when our children’s daily schedules are wide open while a parent’s is cresting to its fullest.

You may be tempted to surrender the smart device fight and let the kids get glassy-eyed for hours in front of their screen of choice. Instead, resist raising that white flag and look no further than to your own backyard for enjoyable and affordable ways for your kids to have some fun.

Here are 5 budget-friendly activities to keep your kids busy having a blast in your own yard.

1. Set up an obstacle course.

Backyard obstacle courses are loads of fun, can be easy or elaborate depending on your child’s age, and can consist entirely of objects you already own. For younger children, an obstacle course can include: • Hula hoops to hop in and out of • Buckets to weave around slalom-style • Yoga mats spread on the grass for forward rolls • Balls to toss into laundry baskets • An inflatable pool to jump into at the end of the course

For older kids, a more challenging course can consist of: • Folding tables to crawl under • Planters to jump over • Water balloons to transport intact by spoon • Balls to toss into boxes of decreasing size • A hose to knock down items lined up on a table

2. Channel a classic with a game of lawn Twister.

To make a grass-version of this classic game, purchase cans of marking paint in red, blue, yellow, and green from your local hardware store. To create the game grid:

• Use a plate to trace a “Twister dot” on a piece of cardboard or poster board. Trace a small circle for the smaller hands and feet of young children or a large circle for older players. Cut the circle out to create a hole in the cardboard or poster board and, voila, you have a Twister dot template. • Place the template on the grass and spray paint through the hole in the template to create rows of dots. Be sure to place the dots close enough so that children can easily reach over from dot to dot, and be sure the game grid area is large enough to accommodate the number of children playing. • Once the dots are painted onto the grass, grab your indoor Twister spinner and start playing! If you don’t have a Twister spinner, write down each of the four directions (left hand, right hand, left foot, or right foot) for each dot color on separate index cards. For example, one card will read, “Right hand. Green.” • Call out each direction and watch players stretch and balance as they strive to be the last kid standing on your lawn Twister board!

3. Throw a fiesta with water balloon piñatas.

Your kids can wear their bathing suits for this wet and wild game of water balloon piñatas. For this activity, you’ll need water balloons, string, a strong piece of rope, and a plastic bat. • Tie the rope between two trees or two other sturdy structures

4. Get creative with colorful water art.

Bring out your child’s inner artist with this game of water squirter art. Fill water squirters with water mixed with food dye, using a different color for each water squirter. Set down sheets of paper on the grass or tape sheets of paper onto trees and watch your kids paint colorful masterpieces, one spray at a time.

5. Create an outdoor reading haven.

If a more low-key activity suits the bill, create an outdoor reading oasis for your child to enjoy and beat the dreaded “summer slide”—the decrease in a child's reading and other academic proficiency during the summer months. To curb this summer learning loss, turn a shady spot of your yard into a reading retreat with items you already own, such as: • Beach or patio chairs to kick back in for a relaxing read • A milk crate or bench to use as a makeshift table to hold books, word game or math problem paperbacks, and educational magazines • A divided serving tray filled with healthy snacks such as turkey and lettuce pinwheels, carrot sticks, grapes, and cheese

Dolores Smyth is a parenting writer and mother of three kids ranging in age from preschool to junior high. Her work has appeared in numerous publications. You can follow more of her work on Twitter @ LolaWordSmyth.

Homespun Fun

Elevate your

Ahh, sidewalk chalk. Simple, cheap fun with no mess to clean up? Yes please.

From toddlers to teens, every kid enjoys the chance to create some outdoor art. Give a kid a piece of chalk and stretch of driveway or sidewalk, and they’re going to keep themselves entertained… at least for a bit! Here,

we’ve compiled some epic ways to take this timeless pastime to the next level.

DIY Chalk and Paint

You can create your own custom colors or find new ways to create with these easy make-at-home projects. You probably have almost everything you need right in your pantry.

Sidewalk Chalk You’ll need: • 2/3 cup Plaster of Paris • 1/3 cup water • 3-4 tablespoons washable paint • Silicone mold (any shape will work… be creative!)

To make:

In a cup, mix together the water and paint until well

combined. Then add the Plaster of Paris, and mix until lumps are gone. Consistency will be similar to runny yogurt.

Pour mixture into the silicone molds. Once full, tap the mold gently on the counter to remove any air bubbles.

Let the chalk set for at least 24 hours. Then, pop the chalk out of the molds and make sure they feel dry all over.

Sidewalk Paint You’ll need: • 2 tablespoons cornstarch • 3 tablespoons water • 2 tablespoons washable paint To make:

Mix water and cornstarch together until lumps are gone, then add paint.

Puffy Sidewalk Paint

You’ll need: • 1 ½ cups flour • 1 ½ cups salt • 1 ½ cups water • Food coloring • Squeeze bottles (we scored these condiment bottles for less than $1 apiece at Walmart)

To make:

Mix together the flour, salt and water together until fully combined and lumps are gone.

Separate the mixture evenly into 3 bowls, or as many colors as you’re making. Add the food coloring to each bowl and stir, about 10-15 drops, or until you get your desired color.

Add one color to each squeeze bottle, then, get creating!

Note: The paint comes off easiest when it’s not all the way dry/hardened. Just hose it off to clean up.

Chalk games and ideas Make a mosaic

Using painter’s tape or masking tape, create an outline of a design on the pavement (for example, a heart). Once you’ve finished the outline, begin to run pieces through the middle to create various sized and shaped areas. Then, fill in each section with color. Remove the tape, and voila!

Alphabet game

Write out the letters of the alphabet with chalk. Then challenge kids to find something from the house or yard that starts with each letter, and place it next to it. For example, a rock on letter R.

Self portrait

Have your child lay on the ground and trace their outline. Then let them go to town creating their own chalk portrait, with clothes, jewelry, hair, etc.

Target practice

Draw a series of concentric circles with a bullseye in the middle, and toss a rock or bean bag. Make up points for each circle (for example 50 points for a bullseye, 40 points for the next circle, and so on).

Pretend play

Be anyone or anywhere you want! Draw in some props, a background, whatever you can think of and let kids become part of the scene. They can fly over buildings, sit under an umbrella, or lounge at the beach.

Hopscotch with a twist

Instead of skipping and picking up stones, think of some different activities that your children can do when they land on a spot. Stomp, twirl, jump, clap, sing, dance… the possibilities are endless.

Connect the Dots

Draw a simple outline of a familiar object such as a tree, house, flower, etc. using only dots. Let the kids use sidewalk chalk to connect the dots and find out what picture the dots make.

Draw roads

Draw small roads with intersections and road signs for kids to drive their matchbox cars on. Or, make larger roads with intersections and signs for kids to navigate with their bikes and other rideon toys.

goose’s goodies Bites

Easy Crepes

If we want to get technical, I think these are Swedish Pancakes, but my family has always called them crepes. Either way, they are easy, yummy and versatile; a perfect base for any sweet or savory additions. Roll them up with ham and cheese, or top with berries, bananas, powdered sugar or a drizzle of syrup.

Ingredients

3 eggs 6 tablespoons flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup milk

Directions

Beat together eggs, flour, salt and sugar till smooth, then add vanilla and milk.

Pour a small amount of batter in a well-buttered small fry pan, just a bit more than covers the bottom of the pan (I use an 8 inch pan).

When the batter is no longer “runny” and the top is set, flip the pan over and remove the crepe onto a plate. (You can also use a spatula and do a quick flip of crepe in the fry pan if you want to slightly brown the other side). Be careful not to overcook!

Top or fill with fruit or other desired additions.

Single recipe usually makes about 8-9 crepes.

Laurie Silva Collins, known affectionately as Goose by her grandkids, is a nurse, mother and grandmother who is happiest when she’s in the kitchen, cooking and baking for those she loves. She learned to cook from her parents, and has perfected her recipes over the years while raising three daughters… and spoiling seven grandchildren.

Food for Thought Bites

Raisins have more pesticides than the ‘Dirty Dozen’ produce

How worried should parents be? BY AMANDA COLLINS BERNIER T he Environmental Working Group recently released its annual list of produce items with the highest levels of pesticide residue, which they dub the Dirty Dozen. They are the 12 fruits and vegetables that those worried about consuming pesticides should always buy organic, the group says.

Strawberries, regular culprits, top the list again, but the group also called out raisins for the first time, calling them “the dirtiest produce commodity.”

According to EWG, almost 70 percent of the fresh produce sold in the United States has residues of pesticides. Their annual Shopper’s Guide to Pesticides in Produce analyzes Department of Agriculture data, which tests washed and peeled produce, to identify the fresh

THE CLEAN FIFTEEN

AVOCADOS SWEET CORN PINEAPPLE ONIONS PAPAYA SWEET PEAS

(frozen)

EGGPLANT ASPARAGUS CAULIFLOWER CANTALOUPES BROCCOLI MUSHROOMS HONEYDEW MELON CABBAGE KIWIS

fruits and vegetables that are most and least contaminated.

The Dirty Dozen and its counter-list, the Clean Fifteen, include fresh fruits and vegetables only, but this year’s Shopper’s Guide also included a separate evaluation of raisins, which the USDA tested for the first time since 2007.

Almost every sample of non-organic raisins tested by the USDA – 99 percent – had residues of at least two pesticides, as did 91 percent of organic raisins, according to the EWG.

“If we included raisins in our calculations, they would be number one on the Dirty Dozen,” said EWG Toxicologist Thomas Galligan, Ph.D.

Children under the age of 15 eat a total of about 208 million pounds of raisins each year –

about half of the raisins consumed in the U.S., according to Zion Market Research. The average American consumed about 1.25 pounds of raisins in 2017, the latest year for which the USDA has information. Zion’s industry analysis shows that slightly less than two-thirds of raisins are consumed as ingredients in other foods, with the rest eaten as a stand-alone snack.

Additionally, USDA data showed that more than 90 percent of samples of strawberries, apples, cherries, spinach, nectarines, and kale had residues of two or more pesticides.

But some experts say we shouldn’t worry too much, pointing out that the mere presence of pesticide residue doesn’t necessarily equal harm. A study published in the Journal of Toxicology noted that levels of pesticides detected are “negligible” and that the Dirty Dozen list “fails to relate exposures to such residues with established health criteria.”

“Consumer exposures to the ten most common pesticides found on the ‘Dirty Dozen’ commodities are several orders of magnitude below levels required to cause any biological effect,” the study says.

Still, consumers who are concerned about pesticide consumption may want to consider buying produce from the EWG’s Clean Fifteen list, which showed little, if any, pesticide residues.

You can read more about the 2020 rankings at ewg.org.

DIRTY THE DOZEN

STRAWBERRIES SPINACH KALE NECTARINES APPLES GRAPES PEACHES

CHERRIES PEARS TOMATOES CELERY POTATOES

Get out, give back

Birthday Wishes holding virtual CakeWalk

We may be staying home, but we all need some fresh air and a little exercise. This month, getting out for a walk with your family can benefit kids in need, too. The ninth annual CakeWalk, the signature fundraiser for Natick-based nonprofit Birthday Wishes, is happening right in your neighborhood.

The yearly 5K and family festival, which raises money to throw birthday parties for children experiencing homelessness, has moved to a “virtual walk.” It’s the organization’s largest and most crucial

fundraiser of the year, helping provide birthday celebrations for thousands of children at nearly 200 shelters.

“With so many of us sheltering-in-place, we know people are looking for activities to direct their time and energy in meaningful ways. CakeWalk is the perfect opportunity,” said Denell Nuese, executive director.

Every time you go out for a walk, you can log your miles in the virtual CakeWalk. The goal is to collectively walk 6,000 miles by Sunday, June 7, which represents one mile for every homeless child Birthday Wishes will serve in 2020.

Registration is $35 for adults and $20 for students. Participants are encouraged to make teams and connect while walking, setting aside a time to call or FaceTime each other while walking through their own neighborhoods. Another idea is for kids to form their own team with friends, and meet virtually for walks while helping other kids.

Ready to lace up your sneakers? Visit birthdaywishes.rallybound.org to register.

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eight take with Sleep Consultant Jensine Casey

When it comes to babies and toddlers, sleep can often be a source of parents’ stress. But not for mom-of-two Jensine Casey. The certified sleep consultant, who lives just north of Boston, is founder of Baby O and I, and helps make parents’ “dreams” come true.

What exactly does a sleep consultant do? I work one-on-one with families to identify their sleep issues and develop a plan to get their child sleeping independently. Families typically come to me when they are in a sleep situation that is not working for the entire family, and we work together to find a method and solution that both parents are happy with. 1.

How did you get into this line of work?

What were you doing beforehand? I worked as a Developmental Specialist in Early Intervention for years, and I found that I was talking with a lot of families about sleep -- how to get chil dren to nap, when to schedule naps, expectations for sleep at certain ages. I knew when I found out I was expecting my second son that I wanted to work for myself, and since I had done so much work around sleep and knew it was a huge need for parents it felt like a logical next step. 2.

What’s the most common issue parents

seek your help for? A lot of parents reach out to me when they feel they have done everything to get their child to sleep, but no other methods have worked. No matter the age, having a child sleep independently in their own space, and stay asleep, can pose a huge challenge. 3.

situation I work with is different, so no two plans are the same. We review the plan to ensure a family feels 100% comfortable going forward, because if they’re not comfortable with the plan they will be less likely to follow it, and the child will not be the successful sleeper we all want. I am there for the two weeks parents are implementing the plan to answer any questions and troubleshoot issues that arise. Noone learns how to do something perfectly the first time, so having a sleep consultant at your fingertips is crucial to meeting those sleep goals.

6. Are there any never-break bedtime rules in your household? I’m very type-A (my poor husband!) and follow the rules to a tee, but with two children less than two years apart I have learned to let things slide and bend the rules. But I do have a big rule about screen time before bed. No matter what’s happening, the TV is turned off at least one hour before bedtime for my oldest. I’ve found he is much calmer and ready to sleep when we start his bedtime routine.

7. What’s the most surprising thing you’ve

discovered about yourself after becom

ing a mom? I knew I wanted to be a mom from a very young age, but being a mom is totally different from what I envisioned! One thing that’s surprised me is just the overwhelming love that you can feel for your children, and the fierce need to protect them from anything and everything that can be harmful. I’ve also discovered that I’m a bit of a control freak and need to work on letting go and trusting others with tasks that have to do with my boys. Easier said than done!

8. If you were stranded with your kids,

what are three things you hope you’d have on hand?

Snacks are my first thought, because one of them is always hungry! A change of clothes for each would be second because my boys love messy play and if there is any type of water/mud/sand where we are stranded they will find it right away! And the third would be a book because we love to snuggle and read together during the day. Hopefully that would help pass the time until we were found!

What’s one of the most common mis takes parents make when it comes to

their child’s sleep? One of the hardest things to know is how awake time impacts a child’s sleep. Too much or not enough awake time during the day both impact a child’s sleep. There is a “sweet spot” that each child should get, but can be hard to identify. 4.

What’s the process of working with a

sleep consultant? Families fill out a detailed questionnaire on their current sleep situation; naps and nighttime. From there, I put together an individualized sleep plan with what to do in each sleep situation, stepby-step, for two weeks. Each child and family 5.