COUPLES CRUISING — V
isit any cruiser haven around the world and you're likely to find plenty of sailing couples whose liveaboard lifestyle appears to be simple, idyllic and carefree. Truth is, though, living full-time aboard a relatively small vessel and frequently doublehanding long distances on the open ocean are both physically and emotionally challenging, even for strong sailors with ultra-mellow personalities. For some firsthand insights into the issues surrounding this paradox, we tapped into the wisdom of a number of longtime cruisers whom we've gotten to know over the years.
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ur first question, "What do you consider to be the most important elements in making a longterm cruising partnership successful?" drew thoughtful, heartfelt replies: "Appreciation is key," say Alene Rice and Bruce Balen of the Cross 48 trimaran Migration. In 2005 they met online at 7Knots.com, and have since logged 60,000 miles together, including a North Pacific crossing from Japan to the West Coast last summer. "Respect for the other person and recognition of his or her contributions is essential for a good relationship, whether on land or sea. Each night before going to sleep, we tell each other something we appreciate about them. Sometimes it’s a big thing, sometimes it's simple, like "Thanks for cleaning up the aft cabin." It may be small, but hearing that you are appreciated, and remembering that you appreciate your partner, are crucial. "We are also fortunate that we are both good communicators. We comple-
SOGGY PAWS
Dave McCampbell gives a boatload of new friends a joyride in the tropics. Interacting with locals plays a big role in the joy of cruising.
ment each other’s strengths, and we work well together. We both recognize that it was the failure of previous relationships that honed those skills and allowed us to recognize those important qualities in our partner. Understanding each other's needs and the dynamics of our relationship helps keep us together." "Succeeding at liveaboard cruising is no different from what it takes to keep a relationship together ashore," says Bruce
"Don’t blame your partner if things go wrong — and things will go wrong!" Powell of the Jeanneau 47 Calou. "That is, willingness to pursue a shared vision and common goals, and to subordinate the self to the importance of the family." Bruce, his wife Pascale and two sons have been cruising together since the 2006 Baja Ha-Ha. "We’ve logged about 17,000 miles, sailing the Ha-Ha three times, then the Puddle Jump to the South Pacific in 2011, followed by the passage to Hawaii, and back to San Francisco. Our sons were 12 and 8 years old when we started and are both now adults." "Out here in SE Asia we see a lot of singlehanding old men looking for inexpensive bed warmers who don't care what a jerk the guy is," says Sherry McCampbell of the CSY 44 Soggy Paws. She and her husband Dave have been cruising together since 2006. They're currently in Eastern Indonesia, and this year they plan to visit Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands and Vanuatu, then head back to Indonesia by Christmas. "We've logged 40,000 miles together; more separately," says Sherry. "Keeping a cruising partner is a tough job and re-
quires willingness, work and compromise. There are two books I always recommend when someone we know has a new partner: It's Your Boat Too (for women) and Getting Her Onboard (for men). "What has really worked for us is that we are both fully into this lifestyle. When we were introduced to each other by a mutual cruising friend, we were both looking for a longterm partner who wanted to do offshore cruising. I had about given up — the 'matches' on Match.com ended up being guys who owned a boat and were dreaming about going, but who ultimately never left home. At that point, I was getting ready to do it solo. I had my USCG Captain's license, ASA Sailing Instructor certification, I was working on Dive Instructor certification, and looking at boats. "Meanwhile, about that time Dave's former wife said, 'I'm not going on your circumnavigation.' So he was also looking for a cruising partner. "We both understood what it took, and saw that in each other. We managed to fit in a little romance as well. "Of course it has taken some adjustment on both sides. Dave is a neatnik and I am a bit of a slob. However, our cruising skill sets complement each other, We've managed to hold it together and make it work, while having fun and seeing all these amazing places. We both love to travel, so if we weren't traveling on a boat, we'd be traveling on land. "We also both love scuba diving, so that is a whole other world we can enjoy together. "Dave is not a jerk. He's a bit hardheaded, but he listens when I have something to say, and we usually work out a compromise. And we each highly value the other's talents." "David Presley and I are coastal cruisers," explains Susan Micheletti. "In the six years that we've owned our custom Frers 33 Pinnocchio, she has taken us as far north as Bella Bella, BC, and to date as far south as Barra de Navidad. "We’ve logged about 6,000 cruising miles aboard her, with our longest cruises being about five to six months. "To us, the most important element
