The Importance of Family Dinners Growing Up

Words and Photos By: Scott Greenhalgh

For as long as I can remember, I ate dinners together with the rest of my family—my parents and two older sisters, Nikki and Nat. My dad often prepared the entree and my mom the sides (or the reverse if we were eating a Chinese dish, for my mother is Chinese), while my sisters and I had to set the table, prepare the glasses of water and milk, and bus the table. My parents insisted that every meal be balanced, consisting of a meat or seafood entree with vegetable and starch sides. Furthermore, they ensured a harmonious variety of flavors, textures, and levels of moisture with each meal. For example, my parents often prepared shrimp scampi with couscous and roasted broccolini. I recall the tender, juicy shrimp’s lemon flavor uniting with the delicate couscous and crunchy, garlicky broccolini. Ah, I’m almost salivating now writing this.

Eating dinner together as a family was sacred; my dad required that we were all sitting at the table to start the meal. He also ensured a minimal delay between the time the food was finished cooking and the time we took our first bite. I often remember my dad, having just completed a laborious meal, grabbing his fork and knife, eager to savor his accomplishment. My oldest sister, meanwhile, would run down the stairs and hallway post-shower to sit and join us for dinner. As a result, it ingrained in us that we wait for everyone to sit before we dig in. Once the meal had formally started, we would discuss our respective highlights of the meal: the presentation, the mixture of herbs and spices, the perfect temperature of the steak, the crispiness of the potatoes, how the flavor of the sauce complemented the starch. After we covered our initial impressions of the food, we reflected on and discussed our days and shared our current feelings. Deep, serious conversation was often interrupted with yelps of, “oh this is so good!” Given that my sisters and I were in school, we had hectic schedules in the morning and therefore dinner was the only meal we could enjoy together as a family.

Eating meals together is a central component of our tightknit family dynamic. My sisters now share an apartment in Boston and we almost always cook together when I visit. We have each developed a specific role and responsibility in the production and aftermath of the meal, emulating the culinary ensemble that my parents embodied. For example, when making stir-fry with H-Mart pork marinade, Nat prepares the rice and gochujang sauce, Nikki chops and sautés the vegetables, and I man the meat pan. We all assist in bussing the table and cleaning the pans just like we were taught. We haven’t yet quite nailed the perfect timing nor the harmonious variety of textures that my parents maintained night after night, but we’re making progress. Also, now that I can cook on my own, I more actively help in the chopping, mixing, and overall meal preparation when I return home to Michigan for the holidays.