THE WHOOSH ZONE

from Bangor Metro - May 2022

by Bangor Daily News

WHAT’S HAPPENING

THE WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH ZONE

NAVIGATING THAT TRICKY END-OFSCHOOL TRANSITION TIME

BY TODD R. NELSON

We’re in the Whoosh Zone — the vertiginous final weeks of a school year when the number of exciting and challenging events seem to defy the laws of physics as they relate to time, space and objects in motion.

You wonder: How can all these things fit into the available space?

You can feel and hear the whoosh in the sunny playground times, studios and classrooms. Yes, we have begun the wonderful glide down to summer.

It will all fit. It always does.

It fits better with forethought. Step back: what’s going on here, as parents, teachers and children hurtle towards summer? Do we have the analog view of where we are on an emotional, curricular and cultural continuum?

Every school celebrates transitions in different ways. We are closing the books on projects and academic studies, perhaps regressing a bit in terms of some social-emotional learning and consolidating gains in other areas. We are fully “inhabiting” our new level, be it “first graderness” or “parent of first graderness.”

Even for the veteran teacher, each academic year has its own unique flavor and texture of culmination. Or it should.

At my school, I liked the wise kindergarten teacher’s way of alerting parents about what to expect. Annie sent an email with valuable coordinates. She was talking to experienced parents — whose youngest child is coming through kindergarten — as well as parents going through it for the first time.

She wrote, “Here are a few things that you expect as the school year is drawing to a close… • Unusually whiny and complaining children • Problems between friends • Total illiteracy — they don’t even know the alphabet now. They don’t understand math now either. • Complaints about teachers (we never help them), food (we don’t feed them) and all special subjects (they never go to shop, science, art, music). • Your children will complain they never … get called on, have a turn, go first, play outside, get picked... • Severe bossiness, questioning, nail biting, tripping and skinned knees • Trouble separating • The occasional shove, push, hit, and they will be as surprised to see this happen as we are • Trouble sleeping, late nights...

“All this is normal, and happens at the end of every school year in Kindergarten. It is how children cope with anxiety about moving to first grade, perhaps at a new school and the end of kindergarten. We see them at their very best and worst within the space of a single day.”

Annie put her parents into a journalistic framework. Observe the story your kids are experiencing. Know that it is their ageappropriate version of events, and stand by as their experienced guide. Don’t mistake their experience for your own.

She continues with a mini-consultation for parents — some of the behavior that they will notice about themselves: • Unusual tendency to complain about food, teachers, public school, private school • Excessive nostalgia, the last singing assembly, the last woodshop class, the last recess game • Concern about your children’s friends and their relationships • Anxiety about whether your child has learned enough to tackle first grade, wherever they go to school. (Be assured, they have!) • Severe bossiness, a wish to micromanage your child’s behavior, bedtime, reading, friendships, even more than is called for • Trouble separating • Tears, trouble sleeping, worries, especially in the middle of the night

I wish every parent and child had an experienced teacher like Annie backing them up. It makes the Whoosh Zone exhilarating. She helps kids and families feel in control — driving, not driven, by the excitement of transitions and transfers of all kinds. It may be kindergarten this year, but even long after life in the school calendar is done, life gives us moments of heightened expectation and spontaneous bumps and curves in the road. Our inner kindergartner may persist in our lives for quite a while… even when we become parents ourselves.

The perspective Annie provides on what we’re feeling, helps us navigate. No matter what size shoes we wear, we’re working on balance, composure and the temperament of maturity.

We can also slow it down a bit with something I call “anticipatory savoring” of events. “Think ahead to consider how you want to look back,” I used to tell my students, early in spring. “What kind of memories do you want to create for yourselves in the days ahead? Plan those memories. Stockpile nice endings — before the fact.”

You can make your own list just by completing this line of thought with your kids: I’m looking forward to looking back on … what?

Of course, beneath the whoosh of activities, a quieter adjustment is taking place. Just when every child has grown into the shoe size of their current grade, and feels they fully inhabit their current “gradeness,” the next grade appears on the horizon. Schools can make beginnings and endings feel like smooth, whoosh-less transitions.

Todd R. Nelson is a former teacher and school principal. He lives in Penobscot.