Maine Senior Living Spring 2023

STORY AND PHOTO BY JODI HERSEY

Mary Hunter of Bangor doesn’t let age prevent her from learning new things or meeting new people

“Ijust like to learn. The door is open, and I take advantage whenever I can,” said 99-year-old Mary Hunter, who resides at the Country Villa retirement home in Bangor. This senior citizen is as active as they come, knitting or making crafts whenever she can, but her true passion is being around people.

hen I was growing up, we had separate schools, separate churches and cemeteries. I lived through segregation. I just lived through it. I could work for you, but I couldn’t sit at a table with you or use your bathroom,” she explained. “Now all those things have changed, and I just enjoy being around people because they help me. I am learning more from them

Hunter has always been altruistic, giving back to the community by donating to sports teams and schools as well as volunteering at nursing homes and with hospice care.

“I volunteered at hospice until COVID,” said Hunter. “I am not married to TV like some people. I’m married to helping myself and helping others.”

Hunter is also a proud member of Toastmasters, an international educational non-profit that teaches public speaking and leadership skills. Her time spent with the organization allowed her to perform a eulogy on short notice; an act she wrote about for an issue of Toastmasters Magazine.

“Toastmasters and I are almost the same age,” joked Hunter. “I was born in 1923 and the organization started in 1924.”

Hunter doesn’t let her age stop her from trying new things and continuing to learn and grow. In her mid-90s, she started taking piano lessons because she wanted to try something new.

“I told my teacher I wanted to learn to sing a song as I played it. She said at my age that would be hard to do, but how do I know if I don’t try,” said Hunter.

husband,”

said Hunter.

rn in 1923, Hunter grew up in Georgia, learning about New England in school, but never expecting that she would one day live and raise a family in the area. never dreamed I’d ever put my foot on the grass anywhere in Maine but here I am living in Maine, and I expect I’ll die in Maine and be buried next to my late roughout the years she’s experienced discrimination but never once let people’s prejudices affect her or the

way

she treats others.

f I can help someone I will, no matter if they hurt me,” shared Hunter. “One time there was a woman on the bus who didn’t want me to sit with her [because of the color of my skin]. She got up and moved to another seat and I just let it go. A few weeks later, I was back on the bus and overheard her tell someone she needed a bed for her new place, so I offered her one. That’s just how I am.” Hunter’s unbreakable spirit and zest for life have always impressed her younger friend Jeri Leonard of Winterport.

I think the number of things Mary has donated over the years is immeasurable, not only with the crafts she makes but with her time,” said Leonard. “She’s teaching love.”

This soon-to-be centenarian is living each day to the fullest and finding ways to challenge her mind and her abilities while spending as much time as she can in the company of others.

“I’m a slow learner, but it doesn’t matter to me because I have the opportunity,” said Hunter. “As long as I can help myself and others, I want to live. And

I’m doing it.”

her tell someone she needed a bed for her new nter’s unbreakable spirit and zest for life

because I am accepted.”

Hu

PARKER RIDGE was created to meet your needs and o er you options as those needs change. At the center of our community is Parker Inn, which o ers both residential living apartments and assisted living suites, as well as many amenities that serve our entire community. We also o er spacious retirement cottages for those who desire to own their home, without the hassles of home maintenance.

With Parker Inn sta on duty 24 hours per day, you can feel secure that help is there when you need it. During the day, visitors are greeted by our sta . After hours the exterior doors are locked, and visitors can use the intercom to contact residents or sta .

A Retirement Community in Coastal Blue Hill, Maine

13 Surprises to Bring When Visiting a Nursing Home

BY ERINNE MAGEE

Visiting your special person at a nursing home or assisted care facility often raises the question of what to bring during your precious time together.

Yes, your presence is certainly the greatest gift, but sometimes it’s nice to come bearing a sweet surprise.

Of course, do ask a staff member for approval if there’s any doubt about what you are bringing. While the list below does include items that cost money, flipping through old scrapbooks, giving a grandchild’s drawing or a handwritten note are also thoughtful ways to connect with loved ones without taking a trip to the store.

HERE ARE 13 WAYS TO SURPRISE YOUR FAVORITE RESIDENT…

WINDOW BIRD FEEDER: Not every room comes with the view of a tree, so a bird feeder that suctions to a window or sliding door is a fun way to connect your birder with a favorite pastime.

FUZZY SOCKS WITH GRIPS OR SLIPPERS: Many residents don’t wear footwear around the building, so getting a new pair of warm (and safe!) socks or slippers can bring a bit of color and comfort.

SPECIAL TREAT OR DRINK: There’s a touch of delight that comes with a favorite homemade treat or specialty coffee or tea. Or perhaps, bring a special mug or have a mini tea party.

PERSONAL CARE RESTOCK: While many basics are provided, you’re never too old to get excited about a new soap or hand lotion. If manicured nails are their thing, bring the tools (and polish) and provide an inroom spa hour.

WREATHS OR HOLIDAY DECORATIONS: There’s always something to celebrate, whether a season or holiday or perhaps your own personal feat that you want to share with your loved one. Bring the excitement to them!

GREETING CARDS AND STAMPS: Packs of all occasion cards (and stamps) come in handy for those occasions that seem to come quicker each year. If your loved one is already loaded with cards, bring a new pen instead.

SOMETHING TO READ: Large print books or a subscription to their favorite newspaper or magazine can offer a welcomed surprise when the mail arrives.

YARN OR CRAFTS: Common areas usually have several games, puzzles and coloring materials available, but if there’s a specific activity your creative loved one enjoys, let them know you remember that by contributing to their hobby.

WALKER CADDY: If a walker is the mode of transportation, help jazz it up by attaching a basket or caddy (or even a touch of ribbon). You never know what needs to be carried from one room to the next.

DIGITAL FRAME: Sometimes space is limited, especially when sharing a room. A digital frame offers a slideshow of favorite memories and people help the elderly feel connected to their loved ones.

SILK PILLOWCASE: Since many residents spend quite a bit of time in bed, why not make it as comfortable and luxurious as possible with silk or flannel pillowcases and/or sheets.

SOFT TISSUES: Another item that is typically provided, but not always to the softness that those special noses deserve. Patterned or colorful tissue boxes add another element of joy to the living space.

SOMETHING FOR THE STAFF: Of course, do remember the staff that is caring so greatly for your special person. Sending them pizza, bringing a round of Dunkin’ or even handwritten notes can go a long way to make someone feel appreciated.

Martin’s Point Generations Advantage: Switch to 5-Star Medicare Quality TODAY!

COURTESY OF MARTIN’S POINT GENERATIONS ADVANTAGE

At Martin’s Point Generations Advantage, we have a message for our neighbors across Maine—RIGHT NOW is the time to switch your Medicare coverage for 5-Star, best-in-class quality and savings!

It’s Not Too Late to Switch to a 5-Star Plan

If you have original Medicare, a Medicare Supplement/Medigap, or a Medicare Advantage plan, you don’t have to wait until next fall’s Annual Enrollment Period to switch your plan. Medicare allows you to enroll in a 5-Star plan any time during the year.

What Are Medicare Star Ratings and Why Are They Important?

Each year, the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) rates the performance of all Medicare Advantage plans using a 5-Star Rating System. They grade each plan on a scale of 0 to 5 Stars—assessing nearly 50 care and service quality measures—and publish these ratings each fall during their Annual Enrollment Period. Nationally, over 500 Medicare Advantage plans were rated by CMS for 2023 and only 57 earned the distinction of 5-out-of-5 Stars. For the fifth year in a row, Martin’s Point Generations Advantage plans have earned CMS’s highest quality rating and we’re proud to offer the only local plans in Maine and the only plans in New Hampshire to have earned this highest rating.

To improve access to the highest-quality plans, Medicare offers a “5-Star Special Enrollment Period,” allowing you to make a one-time switch to a 5-Star plan even after the Annual Enrollment Period has ended. The current 5-Star Special Enrollment Period lasts through November 30, 2023, so you can switch from your current plan to a 5-Star Martin’s Point Generations Advantage plan today!

Review Your Coverage

—Trust You’ve Made the Best Choice!

Each year it’s a good idea to review your Medicare coverage to make sure it continues to meet your needs. And, this year, you don’t have to wait until fall to make a switch. There are many helpful resources, including your local Area Agency on Aging, that can help you understand your options. Researching Medicare’s Star Ratings on their website at www.Medicare.gov can be a good place to start. The guides at Martin’s Point Generations Advantage are always available to help determine which 5-Star plan best fits your needs.

The Martin’s Point Generations Advantage Difference

When asked what sets their Generations Advantage plans apart, Matthew Orlando, a Martin’s Point Health Plan Senior Leader, responded, “As a local, not-for-profit health care organization, the priority at Martin’s Point is to improve the health of the communities we serve. It’s this commitment

Our local Martin’s Point Generations Advantage guides can meet with you in person or over the phone to answer all your Medicare questions and help you choose the plan that’s right for you.

to our family members, neighbors, and friends— the people who live and work beside us in Maine and New Hampshire—that makes the difference.”

Martin’s Point is proud to offer Medicare beneficiaries in Maine and New Hampshire year-round access to the best-possible coverage in 2023. Take advantage of this unique opportunity to join now… your health is worth it!

Martin’s Point Health Care is a Maine-based notfor-profit health care organization offering direct patient care at its Health Care Centers and MEDICARE (Martin’s Point Generations Advantage) and TRICARE® (Martin’s Point US Family Health Plan) health insurance plans.

DISCLAIMERS: Medicare calculates Star Ratings each year and ratings may change from one year to the next. For 2023, Contract H5591 earned 5 Stars and H1365 earned 4.5 Stars for Overall Plan Rating from CMS. Visit www.Medicare.gov for more information. Martin’s Point Generations Advantage is a health plan with a Medicare contract offering HMO, HMO-POS, Local PPO, and HMO SNP products. Enrollment in a Martin’s Point Generations Advantage plan depends on contract renewal.

PHOTO COURTESY OF RENE ROY, 2022

The Bangor Region YMCA: A Community for Everyone!

When you think of the Bangor Region YMCA, what comes to mind? (Besides the YMCA song.) Do you think of swimming and going to the gym? Fitness classes? An early education and childcare center? Summer camps? Before and afterschool programs? Teen center? Swim lessons? A nonprofit organization? A support system? Friendships? A sense of camaraderie?

The Bangor Region YMCA is all of these things and so much more! Our Y is a community hub serving people ages 6 months to 102 years old from more than 23 towns and all walks of life. We offer a wide variety of programs and services to help fulfill the needs of the Bangor region—all while providing a fun, friendly environment where all are welcome and friendships are made.

When you sign up for a membership to the Bangor Region YMCA, you’re not only making a commitment to yourself to maintain or improve your health—you’re joining a community. The moment you walk through the doors, you’re greeted with a smile and a “hello” by our Welcome Center Associates who are ready to give you a

tour on your first visit, get to know you, and answer any questions you may have in the future. And if this is your first time using cardio equipment, they’ll sign you up for a Free Cardio Equipment Orientation with a Certified Personal Trainer, which is included with your membership and a great way to meet other new members who are starting out.

In addition to having access to our Fitness Center, Weight Room, two swimming pools, and saunas in our locker rooms, your Y membership also includes unlimited access to more than 65 land and water fitness classes—with the earliest classes beginning at 5:45 a.m. and the latest classes beginning at 6:45 p.m. We understand that some people attending their first fitness class may feel a little out of their comfort zone, but both our members and Certified Instructors will welcome you with open arms and help you get set up for your first class. Take it from Patti Alquist, who has been a Y member for 17 years and shared her experience when she started taking our Group Power class a few years ago:

“It was very welcoming and everybody was so helpful and encouraging. My body changed; I didn’t expect that. I just wanted to get strong and fit again. I have four grandchildren and I like rolling around on the floor with them and I like playing with them. I like being silly and goofy with them without being afraid of being hurt, and I can do that now! All the muscles around my legs have gotten so strong from just learning how to balance better and my achy knees have gone away. My range of motions has improved for various things. It’s been spiritual, emotional, and strength-wise, it’s an amazing class.”

Taking fitness classes is a great way to meet new people and grow your circle of friends, not just with other members but also our Certified Fitness Instructors who work so hard to provide a quality program in a fun, and engaging atmosphere that makes you want to come back for more.

“I get so much out of the people who are here, [and] the

instructors, too,” says Allison Valley who has been a Y member for nine years. “I’ve been through a lot the last few years and I may not know one of the member’s last names, but they know my whole life story. They’re there to check in with me and make sure everything is good; make sure things are going well. I think that part of it makes you feel like you need it. It’s not a dreading feeling going to exercise, because you’re going as a group, as a support system. You’re going to hang out with friends!”

The camaraderie and health benefits aren’t just within our fitness classes. Avid pool-goer Joe Pickering has been a Y member for 20 years, and says, “The Bangor Region YMCA has changed my life with the smiles I get when entering the Y, seeing the Welcome Center staff in the lobby, and the life changing activities and exercises the Y provides in the pool, gym, and such programs such as aqua fitness classes, 50+ ‘N Fit and the other multiple programs.”

Not only does your Y membership include everything Joe mentioned, but it also includes some of our evidencebased programs to help support those living with a chronic disease. LIVESTRONG® at the YMCA for cancer survivors, Cardiac Disease Prevention & Rehabilitation, Arthritis/Bone Health, and our Neuro Health Program for Patients and their Care Partner all come free with a Y membership.

Robert and Deborah Harvey joined our Y’s Neuro Health Program for Patients and their Care Partners and benefitted beyond their expectations—both physically and mentally. “The exercise program is very well run and fits the needs of both the patient and care partner, with individual assistance as needed by the Certified Personal Trainers. Deb enjoys doing the exercises and I also look forward to the exercises and know that it has improved my balance. The discussions in the support groups are also very helpful emotionally and socially. We greatly benefit from this entire program.”

All of this is included in a Bangor Region YMCA Senior, Veteran and First Responder Membership for $41 per month. Financial assistance is available for those who qualify. As a Y, we want to help all aging adults in our community have the same opportunities regardless of their financial situation.

For more information, stop by The Bangor Region YMCA at 17 Second St. in Bangor for a tour or call us at (207) 941-2808.

COURTESY OF THE BANGOR REGION YMCA

“The encouragement, support and the friendships you make here at the Y really touch my heart. I love it every day.”

– Carolyn Hathaway, longtime member of the Bangor Region YMCA

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE BANGOR REGION YMCA

Why Having the Awkward Conversation About Your Pelvic Floor Health is Worth it!

As we age, most of us expect to suffer some level of urinary incontinence. That’s just what happens when we get old: The muscles of the pelvic floor weaken, we start leaking, and we have to just live with it, right? Well, no. We don’t necessarily have to resign ourselves to wearing adult diapers in our older years. Pelvic floor therapy to the rescue!

But first things first: If you’re a guy or assigned male at birth, don’t think pelvic floor health doesn’t apply to you. Pelvic floor health is for every body. That’s because everyone has a pelvic floor.

The pelvic floor is a group of muscles at the base of your torso. These muscles support your body’s core and are home base to your bladder and bowel, and the uterus or prostate.

coughing, and sneezing increase pressure in the abdomen, and if there’s pelvic floor dysfunction, people can experience symptoms such as urinary or fecal incontinence.

Incontinence is not the only symptom of pelvic floor disorders, and age is not the only factor leading to trouble with the pelvic floor, she says. Trauma or injury to the pelvis, surgery (prostate removal and hysterectomy, for example), obesity, high-impact exercising, childbirth, and menopause can cause pelvic floor disorders.

Organ prolapse, lower back pain, constipation, painful intercourse, reduced sexual arousal, infrequent orgasm, erectile dysfunction, inability to fully empty the bladder, and feeling a frequent need to pee are some of the symptoms of pelvic

floor disorders.

Many people equate Kegel exercises with “fixing” pelvic floor troubles, and while those are terrific for strengthening pelvic floor weakness, they are not appropriate for every situation, says Teri Carr, a physical therapist at Pouzol Physical Therapy in Bangor who specializes in pelvic floor rehabilitation.

BY STEPHANIE BOUCHARD

therapy to assess what symptoms you’re experiencing, say Carr and McAdam, so you can tailor a therapeutic plan to meet your needs. Often people are reluctant or embarrassed to discuss their symptoms, even with their physician, but it’s worth pushing through that discomfort, Carr and McAdam say.

“It’s a personal and intimate area so when there is an issue, it typically affects multiple aspects of that person’s life,” says McAdam.

In particular, people with fecal or urinary incontinence may not want to go out or socialize with friends and family. They may stop doing things they love doing because they’re afraid they’ll leak poop or urine, says Carr. “It can be really limiting for people in their community involvement or just their social enjoyment.”

“Knowing that there is help out there for you is important,” says McAdam, “because (pelvic health) plays such a big role in

your quality of life.”

system of the body,”

“Everybody assumes that the only thing you do for the pelvic floor is Kegels (but) that’s a small piece of the big equation,” she says. For people with overactive or tight pelvic muscles, for example, Kegels could worsen symptoms. Instead of doing Kegels, they might be better served with yoga stretches, learning relaxation techniques, or seeing a physical therapist for pelvic floor release treatment.

Before beginning any pelvic floor exercises or therapy, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor or a physical therapist who specializes in pelvic floor

For more information on pelvic floor health, including tips and movement videos, go to the National Association for

plays an important role in what I call the pressure management

ENJOY A CYR NORTHSTAR TOUR TO ASHINGTON DC, BOSTON, THE MARITIMES AND SO MUCH MORE!

Online Dating: Beware the Romance Scam

BY STEPHANIE BOUCHARD

So you’ve taken the leap and signed up for an online dating site. You’ve posted photos of yourself and even managed to figure out what all the colorful icons are for (no mean feat). But have you educated yourself about romance scams?

If you’re dating online, you need to know about romance scams. The Federal Trade Commission received 56,000 romance scam complaints in 2021 — more than triple the number the agency received in 2017 — totaling $547 million in financial losses. The FBI’s numbers for 2021 are even worse. An estimated $1 billion was lost to (just) 24,000 victims of romance scams in 2021.

And the age group hit the hardest? Those over age 60. The FTC reports that the median individual reported losses to romance scams in 2021 were $750 for those 18 to 29; $2,000 for 30- to 39-year-olds; $3,000 to $4,000 for ages 40 to 59; $6,000 for ages 60 to 69, and a whopping $9,000 for those age 70 and over.

The FBI says it’s likely these staggering numbers

are underreported. David McClellan, cofounder of Social Catfish, a company dedicated to preventing online scams through reverse search technology, agrees. “There’s anger. There’s embarrassment,” he says. “It’s grossly underreported — 100%.”

It’s not that older people are taking larger financial losses because they don’t understand technology as well as younger people, McClellan says. It’s that the criminals are master manipulators. “They use all sorts of psychological tactics to mess with these victims and to manipulate them, and it happens over a long period of time,” he says. “You start questioning what’s real, what isn’t real.”

to the

By the time victims of romance scams realize they’ve been scammed, after months of growing what they think is a deep, real connection, the emotional fallout is often worse than the financial pain, says Amy Nofziger, director of fraud victim support at AARP’s Fraud Watch Network.

“I think actually the loss of hope and the loss of the

dream have a deeper and longer mental health impact than the financial losses,” she says. “It’s almost like a grieving process.”

While victims of romance scams may feel a profound sense of shame and embarrassment, it’s important they report what happened to them, says Elizabeth Ashe, the Bangor Police Department’s community resource officer. “It can’t ever hurt to contact the local PD and get something on file,” she says.

Voluntarily giving money to a scammer isn’t a prosecutable crime. However, it’s still worth filing a police report because it provides a record that your financial institutions may request. And if enough people in the area are making similar reports, the local police can share that information with other law enforcement agencies and with the public. “You’re giving us info [then] you’re possibly helping protect somebody else,” Ashe says.

There are many resources online to educate yourself about romance scam red flags, tips and tools for spotting a scam before you get too involved, and which scams are trending, as well as support groups if you’ve been a victim. Some of those are:

• AARP Fraud Watch Network: www.aarp.org/money/ scams-fraud/about-fraud-watch-network

• AARP Fraud Watch Network and Volunteers of America’s ReST (peer support) program: www.aarp. org/money/scams-fraud/voa-rest-program

• FBI: www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/safetyresources/scams-and-safety/common-scams-andcrimes/romance-scams

• FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3): www.ic3.gov

• FTC: consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-aboutromance-scams

• FTC Fraud Reporting Center: reportfraud.ftc.gov/#

• Social Catfish: socialcatfish.com/scamfish

And you don’t have to wait until you’ve provided a potential scammer money to call your local police department, says Ashe.

“If something isn’t feeling right, you could always just give us a call and chat with an officer,” she says. “As an outside observer … we could help you if you’re not sure.”

To talk to an officer at the Bangor Police Department, call the non-emergency number at (207) 947-7384, press zero to reach a dispatcher and ask to speak with an officer.

Answers on page 16

PUZZLE COURTESY OF METRO CREATIVE

Considerations for retirees thinking of working part-time

Retirement is an opportunity to wave goodbye to the daily grind. Retirees may focus on rest and relaxation, and many make travel a major component of their lifestyle.

According to a 2022 Gallup poll, Americans expect to retire at an average age of 66, up from 62 in recent years. However, most do not hold out that long; the average actual retirement age is 61. Canada used to have a mandatory retirement age of 65, but that mandate was overturned in 2009. Today, the average retirement age for Canadians is 64.4 for men and 63.8 for women, according to Statistics Canada. Upon retiring, many retirees discover that they sorely miss getting out of the house and being productive through some sort of employment. Others may find it necessary to supplement their retirement incomes. There are a few things to know about working during retirement, particularly if a person is collecting government benefits.

• According to the Social Security Administration, those falling under full retirement age for the entire year (which was raised to age 67 for those born in 1960 or later) will be subjected to an SSA deduction of $1 from your benefit payments for every $2 you earn above the annual limit. For 2022, that limit is $19,560. In the year you reach full retirement age, SSA deducts $1 in benefits for every $3 you earn above a different limit, but they only count earnings before the month you reach your full retirement age. For full retirement age reached in 2022 your limit on earnings for the months before full retirement age is $51,960. After full retirement age, there is no limit on earnings.

• Keep in mind that if you are on Medicare, extra income could potentially trigger surcharges for parts B and D. It’s beneficial to speak with a financial consultant to weigh the pros and cons of parttime work during retirement.

• Part-time work does not need to be daily work. Many retirees work according to how they feel. Some options include seasonal jobs, such as driving shuttles in national parks or working during the holidays in retail stores. Or you may use your expertise to consult or start a business.

• A number of people work part-time during retirement simply to get out of the house. Jobs that help you interact with a number of people can be beneficial, as socialization has been shown to benefit the mental health of seniors.

Working during retirement can supplement savings and provide structure that some retirees may be missing.

COURTESY OF METRO CREATIVE