NEWS OF THE WEIRD

Special To The Senior Beacon From The Editors Of Andrews Mcmeel

Family Values

Tony Toto and his wife, Frances, of Allentown, Pennsylvania, are celebrating 57 years of marriage, WFMZ-TV reported in a feel-good Valentine's Day story. "We have been blessed that we had all these years," Tony said, noting "that one time when we had a rough time." Yeah, that was the time in 1983 when Frances hired teenaged hitmen five times to kill Tony. "I don't think I was thinking straight," Frances said. "It was like it was a lovehate kind of a thing." Of course, the murder attempts weren't successful, and Frances and the young hitmen were arrested. She spent four years in prison, but their love never wavered. A feature film called "I Love You to Death" was made about their troubles, and they became minor celebrities, traveling to movie premieres and giving interviews. Tony and Frances got counseling and committed to better communication, and decades later, have a long marriage to show for their efforts.

The Aristocrats

On Feb. 11, during an intermission at the Hannover State Opera House in Hannover, Germany, ballet director Marco Goecke shocked even himself when he approached the dance critic from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung newspaper, Wiebke Huester, and smeared animal feces on her face. The Associated Press reported that Goecke was unhappy with a recent review of a production he staged in The Hague. Following the incident, he took off through the crowded theater lobby. But strangely, Goecke seemed to justify his actions in a later interview, saying that after having his work "soiled for years ... Once a certain point has been reached, I disagree." The opera house suspended and banned him from the facility until further notice.

Weird Science

People who suffer from chronic constipation now have a high-tech treatment option: a vibrating pill that stimulates the colon, CNN reported. The Vibrant capsule, prescribed by a doctor, is taken at bedtime and reaches the large intestine about 14 hours later. Vibrations cause the gut to contract, moving food along. Eventually, the capsule is eliminated and makes its way to a sewage treatment plant, where it's sifted out and sent to a landfill. Dr. Eamonn Quigley of Houston Methodist Hospital helped test the new technology. He said most people couldn't feel it working. "A minority could feel it. None of them felt it was being uncomfortable." But we're uncomfortable just reading this.

Unconventional Weaponry

Christopher Gaddis, 41, was hold- ing a cat in his arms when he was approached by Metro Nashville Police officers on Feb. 8, WSMV-TV reported. Gaddis had two outstanding warrants, and officers were trying to arrest him when he shoved the cat into the face of one of them, leaving several cuts on the officer's hands. Gaddis also kicked the officer. After being treated for his own injuries from the cat, Gaddis was charged with resisting arrest and assaulting an officer.

It's Come to This

In what prosecutor Owen Beale called an "organized criminal matter," Joby Pool, 32, pleaded guilty to theft and criminal damage in Kidderminster, England, magistrates court, The Guardian reported. His crime? Pool broke into a warehouse on Feb. 11 and towed away a trailer with about 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, valued at about $37,000. He didn't get very far; when police stopped him, he "walked toward (them) with his hands up." "This clearly wasn't spur-ofthe-moment offending," Beale said. "You don't just happen to learn about a trailer with that kind of value being available." The "Easter bunny," as police dubbed him, will be sentenced in March to about two years in jail.

Bright Ideas

* In the Germantown neighborhood of Philadelphia, one gas station is employing a dramatic tactic to try to keep people experiencing homelessness away: blasting opera music over its outdoor speakers. WPVI-TV reported that neighbors aren't fans: "I heard all this music, I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Loud, it was unbelievable that time of night," said Clinton Barnes, who lives close by. "I don't think it's a deterrent," said Karen Clark. "They have to find something else." One neighbor said it was as loud as if someone had "cranked the volume all the way up" on the TV inside their home. Gas station employees refused to comment.

* Austin Bristoe, 26, of Bloomington, Indiana, was sick and tired of people breaking into his 1998 Buick and stealing stuff, Fox59-TV reported. On Feb. 12, when police responded to a car fire, they found Bristoe just standing next to his burning vehicle, and he told them he set it on fire to stop the thefts. "If there was nothing left of the vehicle, then there would be nothing left to steal," Bristoe's logic went. As it burned, the fire caused a small explosion, and Bristoe commented, "I hoped the explosions would be bigger." After arresting him for arson, they searched him, finding several packed syringes and benzodiazepine.

Suspicions Confirmed

Police in Santa Cruz, California, are warning locals not to "engage" with the Cookie Monster, KION-TV reported on Feb. 15. A man named Adam Sandler (not the actor), known to dress up as "Sesame Street" characters and harass people, has surfaced in Santa Cruz. Resident Sarah Jones said he entices people "to want to take a photo with him," but as soon as they approach, he flips up his costume head and starts yelling. "Based on how dirty his costume was I knew it wasn't going in the right direction," she said. Sandler has not been charged with any crimes.

Update

News of the Weird reported last August about a 3 1/2-foot-tall, 200-pound bronze statue of Dennis the Menace that had disappeared from a playground in Monterey, California. On Feb. 8, Monterey County Sheriff Tina Nieto announced that Dennis had been found in Roberts Lake after authorities received an anonymous tip, the Associated Press reported. They were sure it was the same statue because the thief had cut through one of Dennis' feet to remove it, and the recovered statue's foot is damaged. "Today is a happy day!" Nieto gushed.

Weird Fashion

It's about time! Japanese garment company Takikou has developed a wearable bean bag, Oddity Central reported. "This concept was born out of the idea of a cushion that would allow you to totally let go, anytime, anywhere," said the company's Shogo Takikawa. "You can put this on and chill out in your living room or loads of other places." The bean bag is available in different sizes and colors, but it does weigh about 11 pounds (which might make you want to sit down more often). Prices range from $60 to $119.

Least Competent Criminal

Jose Luis Callisaya Diaz, who is serving a 15-year term in the maximum-security Chonchocoro prison facility in Bolivia, made a bold attempt at escape in February, Fox News reported. Diaz, also known as El Arana ("the spider"), wrapped himself in a sheepskin, got past a wall and crawled through the countryside surrounding the prison in the middle of the night. Juan Carlos Limpias said Diaz "took advantage of the inclement weather to try to escape through one of the walls of the external perimeter of the prison." He was apprehended after guards noticed he wasn't in his cell and photographed on all fours in the grass. Perhaps he needs a new nickname: La Oveja.

$250

Please call (719) 345-3064 before 9:30 a.m. for reservations. Congregate meals served MondayFridays. All menus subject to change.

March

Florence Senior Center

Upper Arkansas Area Agency on Aging Nutrition Program

Florence Senior Center

Tuesday A $3.00 suggested donation per meal is appreciated, but not required.

7 #47 Scalloped Potatoes w/Ham

Spinach Salad w/Mandarin

Oranges

Hard Boiled Egg

Sliced Peaches

WW Roll w/Butter

14 #25 Chicken Cordon Bleu

Wild Rice Pilaf

Seasoned Asparagus

Chilled Apricots

WW Bread w/Butter

21 #22 Chicken a la King

Green Peas

Salad w/Lite Ranch

Raisin Nut Cup

Orange

28 #5 Smothered Pork Chop w/Gravy

Smashed Red Potatoes

Cooked Collard Greens

Apple Bran Muffin

Thursday 2 #35 Chili Relleno Casserole Corn & Zucchini Mexicana WW Tortilla w/Salsa Salad w/Lemon Wedge

9 #26 Chicken Fajita

Savory Black Beans w/Cilantro

Tortilla Whole Wheat

Cheddar Cheese

Mexicali Corn

Orange

16 #51 Hot Turkey Sandwich

Whipped Potatoes

Asparagus Amandine

Pineapple Mandarin

Compote

Banana

23 #95 Taco Salad

Salsa, Tomato, and Lettuce

Garnish

Strawberry Applesauce

Flan Custard

Cornbread

30 #67 Pueblo Beef Stew w/Brown Rice

Cornbread

Coleslaw

Raisin Nut Cup

Orange

Friday

3 #86 Spinach Lasagna

Seasoned Green Beans Salad w/Lite Italian Banana WW Bread w/Butter

10 #49 Hamburger on a Bun

Catsup, Mustard, & Onion

Split Pea Soup

Creamy Coleslaw Banana

17 #56 Lemon Baked Fish w/Tarter Sauce

Rice Pilaf

Creamy Coleslaw

Green Beans w/Mushrooms

Apple

WW Bread w/Butter

24 #8 BBQ Beef w/Chicken Rice

BBQ Beef Brisket

WW Hamburger Bun

Chicken Rice Soup

Creamy Coleslaw

WW Crackers

Banana

31 #27 Baked Potato

Broccoli w/Cheese

Tossed Salad w/Lite French Peaches

Fruit Cocktail

Drop Biscuit w/Butter

Please call (719) 784-6493 before 9:30 a.m. for reservations. Congregate meals served Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. All menus subject to change.

Please call (719) 784-6493 before 9:30 a.m. for reservations. Congregate meals served Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. All menus subject to change.

The top scams of 2022

What are scammers up to these days?

Every day, people just like you tell the FTC what they’ve spotted, and maybe even lost money to. Then, every year, the FTC rolls up all those millions of reports about fraud, scams, and bad business practices to tell the story: what ARE scammers up to these days?

The 2022 headline is this: scammers took a LOT of money. The latest FTC data book says people reported losing $8.8 billion to scams. That’s $2.6 billion more than 2021. Except the number of reports are down by half a million (2022: 2.4 million reports. 2021: 2.9 million reports).

Here are some highlights from 2022:

* Investment scams were huge, with reported losses of $3.8 billion. That’s more than people lost to any other scam, and more than double the loss reported in 2021.

* Impersonator scams were still the most-reported scam, with reported losses of $2.6 billion. The difference this year? Higher losses to business imposters: 2022 losses were $660 million, compared to $453 million in 2021.

* If people paid a scammer, the biggest reported losses were through bank transfers ($1.5 billion reported lost to scams) and cryptocurrency ($1.4 billion reported lost).

* When the scam started on social media, people reported losing the most money overall to scammers ($1.2 billion). But when the scammer called, the per-person loss was the highest

Everyday Life and Ordinary People

"God said, “Let Us (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) make mankind in Our image, after Our likeness.”

Genesis 1:26a

Do you feel bogged down with life? Do your thoughts run something like this: “I do the same things every day. Life is dull. I can’t wait for this day to be over. Is there anything else in life?”

When you look at others, do you see yourself as being different? Do you think you’re special to anyone? Do you see yourself as just an “ordinary” person?

When I left my house the day after the storm the media called “the blizzard of 2005,” and watched the water as it ran rapidly down the sidewalks and streets, I thought of the difference the sun makes when it touches the snow. Then another thought came to my mind; “what a difference the Son makes when He touches our lives.” He changes our everyday lives into lives filled with Himself, and our lives become filled with meaning and purpose. Then we begin to see ourselves not as just “ordinary” people but as “extraordinary.” We begin to see ourselves as God sees us, as persons of value. Our sense of value should be based solely on the fact that we are children of the Most High God. God made us as persons of value when He created us. Genesis 1:26 tells us that we are made in His image, according to His likeness. He sees our potential and we are His prized possession.

God wants to fill our lives with His love, and when we are transformed by His love it will naturally overflow and touch those lives

This month’s Senior Safety Page is Proudly Sponsored byAMERICAN VEIN! Give them a call right away! And thank themfor sponsoring this valuable addition to the Senior Beacon!!

($1,400 median loss).

* Younger adults (ages 20-29) reported losing money more often than older adults (ages 70-79). But when older adults did lose money, they lost more than anyone else.

Check out the graphic for the Top 5 Scams of 2022, and read the FTC’s data book for all the details — including what happened in your state.

Do you think you lost money to a scam? Find out what to do next. And if you spot a scam, report it at ReportFraud.ftc.gov

By Andrew Rayo, Consumer Education Specialist

around us. He wants the best for us NOW! We don’t have to wait until tomorrow or next week to know His love and let Him change us into extraordinary people. Be energized today by his love. Let His love make a difference in your life and the lives of others around you. Step out of the old mold of everyday life, step into faith, and let God show you how to live extraordinary lives. God loves using “ordinary” people like you and me to do His will. Today you may not feel extraordinary, but remember, you have an extraordinary God!

Kay Owen-Larson is the co-founder and President of Crossroads Ministries and the founder of the Crossroads School of Chaplaincy.

GLEN VOLLMECKE

Author: "Intermission

Visions of Norse Gods remain vague to most of us.

vAs described in my column last month, settling in Britain during the early middle-ages, these alpha blonde muscular Vikings of Swedish and Norwegian origin, brutally invaded my islands en masse, intent on colonizing vast areas of my homeland, despite said lands, already being inhabited by peaceful Celtic families of Great Britain. Without warning their ornate wooden longboats stealthily surged toward shores of Ireland, western and northern parts of Scotland, and England. Their wild stormy entrance was immediately inhibited by gigantic rough rocks which they skillfully avoided at the coastline’s edge. Once dispatching hundreds of men aground, their brutal pitiless slaughter, rape and mayhem began. Blissfully unaware of the forthcoming threats to their existence, English peasants continued their life as usual. Trolls, elves, giants, wolves and many mystical and ghostly figures are described in my stories. They’re not all magnificently depicted by artists as gods, by far. Genealogy from my own maiden name of Swann dates back to Norse settlers. Swein (pron: Swayne) was my family name derived from these callous fortified intruders. Astonishingly, we sometimes hear a reference regarding gods of Norse mythology. Several years ago, my wanderings through the Vatican in Rome offered multiple similarities to artists of Norse gods. Inside the Vatican one is surrounded by magnificent statues, icons, and paintings, all beyond belief, with their multi-colored glorious images. These treasured legacies of familiar, ancient artists are so magnificent, yet no-one could be prepared for the majestic atmosphere of the Vatican. An example of one painting of a Norse goddess is a young Freya her hair flying free, robed in a white swirling gown while her chariot races through the forest guided by two barely tamed young lions. Circa 1882 an artists’ representation of the king and queen of the underworld is a superb piece of art work. Aegir the king, is the husband of Ran, both sea gods ruling the ocean. He’s the ultimate monarch of their underwater kingdom, the sovereign of sea creatures. The watery yet distinct illustration offers an insight as to their lack of ‘earthly’ possibilities. (No scuba diving paraphernalia here!) Among the most famous Valkyries are Odin’s females. Noble and elegant maidens strive to relocate all Viking warriors’ spirits from their war zones. Their magnanimous intentions are to gather fallen heroes, sending them on an ultimate mystical journey to Valhalla which is Odin’s heavenly home. On a more sinister note, these divine females also are fairly biased: Typically, they have supremacy and ‘can ultimately determine, who lives and who dies on the battle field. A notorious ‘evil magic’ helps them in favor of these life-threatening decisions. Amid these unearthly depictions of art work is Thor. Clad in a unique outfit, never could one imagine such a young handsome man, capable of slaying multiple giants with a few thrusts of the blade. His appearance baffles the mind…His orange tunic trimmed in gold, compliments his elaborate belt and necklace. As he plunges his sword into the giants’ torso, nothing deterred his numerous thrusts. Not a bead of perspiration characterized here! We could describe these representations repeatedly, as each artist’s perception of Norse gods will differ. Another artists’ version of a Viking hunter, as elaborate as the forementioned gods illustrates an image of another fashion-conscious hero, the hunter. Wings adorn either side of his protective metal helmet. (Help me here! Use your imagination!) Proudly standing he firmly grasps his seven-foot sword, as he gazes, intently focused upon a small bubbling stream. A devoted stalking dog, his dedicated companion, sits quietly by his side. A dead glassy eyed sheep is unceremoniously slung over his left shoulder. Possibly, he’s debating how to dismember this animal, (not the dog) in order to serve it for supper.

Thought for the day: Lessons are learned by unique trials and turbulations. Live, and learn to escape all pain. Make wise choices. When in doubt…wait, and an unimaginable problem will eventually unfold.