Ask the Old Bag: Newly widowed? Treat yourself

Newly widowed? Treat yourself.

Dear Old Bag: This widow made it through the holidays, and actually stayed reasonably happy the whole time, even though I could not have the normal family get-togethers due to the pandemic. But the holiday that makes me sad is Valentine’s Day. My husband and I always made it a big day. He sent me mushy cards, flowers and candy, and took me out to our special place. My second year without him is coming up. What can I do to keep from getting depressed this Valentine’s Day? Signed, MM Dear MM: You are not alone. There are more widows than widowers. I suggest you schedule a nice dinner out with a girlfriend that day. Plus, do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself a box of candy, get a massage or a facial. Treat yourself. Your husband would be proud of you! You can choose to have a happy Valentine’s Day. OB Dear Old Bag: I met this guy on a dating site. He lives in another city about 300 miles away. It just so happens that my son and his wife live in that city, too. After talking with this guy online for about three months, I decided to visit my son and invited the guy to meet up while I was there. He said he was sorry, but he had to be out of town on business. Now I’m suspicious that he might not be real. What do you think? Signed, BAM Dear BAM: Sounds to me like he’s a romantic scammer. My general rule with dating sites is to only communicate with guys in your town. Try to meet them for coffee as soon as possible. If they find excuses not to meet, they are probably a scammer. Above all, do not give them any personal info such as an address, social security number, etc. Sorry, but they’re everywhere. Good luck, OB Dear Old Bag: I met a woman at church last year. I really liked her and was thinking about how I could get to know her better. Then the pandemic hit, and we do virtual church now. I do know her number from our church directory, but I’m reluctant to call her, partly because I am afraid she will think I am too forward. Any ideas to help me along? Signed, A Bit Shy Dear Shy: Call her! Tell her you miss seeing her at church and wonder if you could communicate online or on the phone. If she says yes, you have a way to get to know her better. If she says no, you will know she is not interested, right? Fear of rejection is a real thing, but missing out on a possibly good thing is even scarier to me! I’m betting that she will be delighted to hear from you. Good luck! OB Dear Old Bag: I am writing to tell you that I got brave and joined a dating site. After about a year of not finding anyone of interest, I finally met a wonderful guy. Our in-person meetings have been limited due to the pandemic; however, we are both looking forward to a long-term relationship. I did get scammed twice on the site, but thanks to you, I recognized it right away. Signed, Dater Dear Dater: I’m happy to hear of your success. Two of my adult children have met their mates online. While I haven’t had a serious relationship there, I have met two men who became good friends...and you can’t have too many friends. Good luck to you and your dating-site guy. OB

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ASK THE OLD BAG

ADVICE COLUMN FOR THE OVER 50 CROWD BY GAYLE LAGMAN-CRESWICK Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email her directly at LagmanCreswick@Gmail.com

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