11 minute read
Opinion: Wrong to bare arms
Wrong to bare arms
By Robyn Justo
Ithink we always remember the critical things that were said about us and tend to forget the compliments.
When I was about 10 years old, I remember my aunt making me a dress and telling me that I would always be flat chested like her. I was devastated. Why would she say that and how would she know what my future body would look like? Around that same age, a girl told me that I had a pot belly.
As I cried to Mom, she told me not to worry because someday I would show them.
Mom was blessed with an hourglass figure and although I bloomed a bit late, when I was 14 years old, I sprouted one, too.
Tummy flattened, top grew, but I never forgot. Now as I age, my tummy is growing again and my chest is losing a bit of its sand to my hips.
I thought of this as I read multiple articles online this past week. One was about Shirley MacLaine, who is 88. There were comments about her face having new lines on it and that it appeared to be melting. Her casual attire, sweatpants and clogs, was criticized along with the fact that she was not wearing makeup. The woman is nearly 90! She's earned it!
Another group of potshots were directed at beautiful and talented 25-year-old Camila Cabello because she had taken a selfie when she was running and it revealed a bit of midriff fluff.
Celebrities are under constant scrutiny and are not expected to gain weight or get saggy, get wrinkles or cellulite, because they represent the “ideal” which is never achievable or realistic.
I remember browsing the cosmetic counter years ago at Liberty House (yes, I am old) and the salesperson suggesting a cream for the lines around my eyes, which I had never noticed before. I left without the cream but with a new complex.
I dated a man years ago who asked me if I ever thought of the worst possible thing I could say to someone to hurt them. No. WHY would I want to do that? I winced as I recalled what he had said to me when I put on a few pounds: “Am I going to end up with Sally Struthers?”
Is there some sort of mean gene that some humans are cursed with, or are they so jealous and insecure that they have to demean and destroy others? Do these comments automatically come pouring out of their mouth like poison, or do they have a case of Tourette's and they can't control it? Is there no filter, no empathy?
What if the person attacked is affected, loses their self-worth, and does not see a reason for living? Countless people have committed suicide over senseless and heartless comments.
The other day I was with a friend who said she would not wear a sleeveless dress in public because of the cellulite under her arms. She was wearing one and she looked gorgeous, but we were obviously not leaving the house. I inspected myself when I got home and I guess I had to give up my right to bare arms to avoid offending those in public.
People get old or ill. Bodies change, decay and drop off. Women are constantly judged and criticized about the way we look as our bodies change. Some things can be adjusted and some cannot. We are our own worst critics, so we don't need another voice pointing out flaws and imperfections.
Sometimes I wish we lived in a silent world where humans could not say things to hurt one another, or at least they could know how it felt when a comment landed. Maybe one has to wait for Judgment Day to have their life review. Remember: The kinder we are here, the easier it will be for us to look at ourselves when the mirror is held up to us. ■
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