Cinema

Gadfly 217 By Robert Macklin The Morrison Government is so grievously wounded – by its own hand - it would be an act of simple decency to put it out of its misery. With a landslide. And given the walloping the Libs took in the recent NSW byelections, it does seem that a big chunk of unaligned voters is about to break off the cliff face and sweep them from the mountainside. There will, of course, be lots of survivors. And first out of the wreckage will emerge the shiny pate of Peter Dutton to lead his battered followers in Opposition. It will be a long way back. All of the above, I happily admit, is more hope than prognostication. That’s the way of all political commentary: the wish, as they say, is father of the thought. It’s why pollsters ask their selected ‘swinging’ voters, ‘Who do you think will win the election?’ They know that Jill and Joe Bloggs have no special insight, but their answers reveal their secret wish, and their votes will probably be cast in its favour. For example, when pressed to explain why they think the government will get back, Jill and Joe will find a way to sound middle of the road-ish. ‘It will be a khaki election,’ they’ll say, ‘and you know what the Australian people are like – they’re scared of China.’ Or, with a heavy sigh, ‘Anthony Albanese just doesn’t seem to stand for anything.’ They willingly concede that the Morrison government has bungled the Aged Care system, the vaccine rollout, a Federal ICAC, climate change, the religious discrimination bill, pork barreling, rejection of the Uluru Statement from the Heart, the domestic violence crisis and justice for women, to name but a few. But still, they’ll say, ‘people forget. The Coalition is better on the economy and everyone wrote Scomo off last time…’ Well, some did. I was among those who thought it was insupportable to reward Bill Shorten for a career of political backstabbing with an elevation to The Lodge. But they’re certainly right that Morrison wants a khaki election. He set the scene with his demand for an inquiry into the ‘real’ source of Coronavirus suggesting it ‘escaped’ from a Wuhan chemical warfare unit. He ramped up the Uighur mass ‘re-education’ to an accusation of ‘genocide’. He damned Chinese ‘aggression’ in the South China Sea without a single interference to any commercial shipping. And somehow, he misplaced our long term One China policy, thoroughly offended the French with AUKUS and joined a ‘Quad’ that is about as schoolboyish as it sounds. No wonder Pretend Emperor Xi stopped buying bulk barley and Barossa’s best (though kept the Australian dollar afloat with massive iron ore imports). Undeterred, Morrison has been anti-China buzzing like a blowfly in a bottle. And the Russia/Ukraine imbroglio is providing the pictorial backdrop with big tanks and missile launchers in splendid array. Meanwhile, the ‘bubble’ that Morrison likes to call his Canberra workplace has popped. All the clever marketing devices have scattered into the public arena as lies, hypocrisies, bullying and deceit. It’s a bit like the Wizard of Oz – when young Dorothy got up close, she discovered he was really just a silly old white man pretending to make ‘miracles’. But that doesn’t mean Labor is a shoo-in. This week’s Four Corners had one unmistakable message from Jill and Joe Bloggs: ‘What does Anthony Albanese really stand for?’ robert@robertmacklin.com

Reading—A beer with Baz Bazza leaned over to calm Mick’s howling dog tethered to the dripping tap outside of the pub. With a few pats on its head he finally soothed it, but the dissonant racket of music emana ng from inside screwed Bazza’s face.

He gave the dog another pat and shook his head, “I can hear your problem, mate.” Bazza blinked to adjust to the dimness of the pub. Mick was at one end of the front bar, all decked out in a Hawaiian shirt and strumming a ukulele. All the other patrons were gathered at the far end.

Mick nodded at the full schooner and launched into the final chorus of Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire; ‘I fell into a burning ring of fire I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher and it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire, the ring of fire’ Bazza took a very long drink and an extra deep breath. Mick paused, took a sip and cleared his throat. He gave a double thumbs up to the lone slow clapper at the end of the bar.

“So Bazza, I’ve decided to cheer things up around here. We’ve had the drought, fires, pandemic, lockdowns and the weather has gone bonkers. I think a couple of tunes will get our minds off all the problems.” . “Good on you, Mick. I guess it’s a ques on of appropriate songs.” “Ah….. of course, Bazza, but you must remember this old one from Neil Young.” Mick strummed the ukulele and was straight into ‘Helpless’ ‘Helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless Babe, can you hear me now? The chains are locked and ed across the door Baby, sing with me somehow’ Undeterred by a few groans, Mick finished with; ‘Helpless, helpless, helpless, helpless’ The bar a endant strode towards Mick but did a U turn when he rested the ukulele on the table.

“I think you need to pick a song that li s the mood, Mick.” They both took a decent drink and Mick rubbed his chin. “I’m with you, Bazza. I play this old Cliff Richard’s number when I’m in a bit of strife at home. It certainly li s my mood.”

She's just a devil woman With evil on her mind Beware the devil woman She's gonna get you Mick wiped perspira on beads from his brow, blinked repeatedly and adjusted his glasses. He struggled with the words to the next verse and opted to raise the tempo and repeated; SHE’S GONNA GET YOU

Mick’s dog started howling again and a couple of patrons sculled the remains of their schooners and le . The be er mannered clientele caste killer sideway glances at Mick. ‘Serious Shirley’ wandered over with a cap partly filled with coins and placed it in front of Mick. Mick beamed.

“How good is that, Bazza? They love me!” ‘Serious Shirley’ pulled a ten dollar note from her wallet and added it to the cap. “No……..no Mick! The pub has voted………the money is to pay you to go and play somewhere else.”

Have a beer with Baz at john.longhurst59@gmail.com

Ode to a crap Uke player I'm red of your pe y life Always on the run People say that you should leave You’re no longer any fun So don't try to hold them back Ain't nothin' you can say There’s no Side eyes in paradise Where you can play all day... “Take me to the April sun in Cuba (Oh-oh-oh) Take me where the April sun, Where poli cs are Right, so Right, so Right “ Editor

Dragon wrote of the recent rendi on that made it to main stream media featuring a man associated with Cobargo handshakes, Hawaii and bad ukulele playing saying “Once again, Dragon are famous for all the wrong reasons.” The original song “April Sun” was wri en by New Zealanders Paul Hewson and Marc Hunter. i roto i te mahara

BODALLA Q.C. – Willie Head, Barbara Brown and Edna Nixon passed from the above school. DEATH. – The death of Mr. Edward John Stormon took place in Sydney on the 8th inst., through taking a drink of carbolic in mistake for beer. “Ned” who was only 45 years of age, was a son of Mr. M. Stormon senr., of Eurobodalla, and years ago was one of the best foot-runners on the coast. DEATH. – On Wednesday the death of Mrs. Joseph Sebbens took place at her residence, Bateman’s Bay. Deceased, who was about 62 years of age, had been in a delicate state of health for a number of years. The funeral took place on Thursday, the remains being interred in the C.E. por on of Moruya cemetery. Q.C. RESULT. – Mr. T. Doherty, pupil of Wagonga school, successfully passed his Q.C. exam. SUCCESSFUL STUDENTS. – Leslie Cur s and Wilfred Taylor, pupils of Eurobodalla Public School, qualified for admission to Yanco Agricultural High School. The admission is by compe ve examina on, and only 60 students are admi ed from the whole State, so Eurobodalla has been awarded a good percentage, the result of which that highly competent teacher, Mrs. J. Johnson, should be complimented upon. A BLACK SPOT. – Just recently a fairly large party of motorists, a er spending some few days in visi ng the various beauty spots of our district, camped on the Deua River and had a most enjoyable me angling for the perch which abound in many of the secluded spots of the river. While in conversa on with one of the leading residents of the Deua, some of the party spoke in most glowing terms of this district’s beau ful scenery and the charms of its many lovely watering places; but when speaking of the town of Moruya their enthusiasm en rely disappeared, and in a saddened tone they remarked, “Your township is a black spot on one of the most beau ful landscapes we have had the pleasure of beholding on the South Coast, and when trying to navigate its streets on a dark night you appear like one groping in a dungeon.” How sad, but, O! how true. HOTEL ADELAIDE. – The old and popular Adelaide Hotel, which wooden structure was demolished some few years ago, and in its place a fine two-storey building, with spacious verandah and balcony overlooking the Moruya River, erected, and now known as the Hotel Adelaide, is having its comfortable sleeping accommoda on s ll further enlarged by the addi on of several rooms and 11 beds, and the present balcony con nued to the extreme eastern end of the building. … PUBLIC HALLS. – The last “Government Gaze e” contains an amended regula on which states that licensed theatres and public halls shall be disinfected every day on which they are open to the public. The method of disinfec on shall be the spraying of all floors, seats and any exposed surface in the building. The whole of the interior of such building be sprayed at least once a month. …

Eurobodalla Writers (a branch of the Fellowship of Australian Writers) is hos ng a workshop for NSW Seniors Card holders with an interest in wri ng. Date: Thursday 24 March, 2022 Time: 10.30 am – 1 pm Place: Moruya Library Bookings: 44741333 Eurobodalla Writers Workshop presenters: Karen Kentwell - Communica ons specialist, speechwriter and aspiring novelist. Her novel (her first) is a fic on based on her ancestral history. Sharon Halliday – Author of ‘Messages from the Heart: 39 Answers to YOUR Life Ques ons’ and joint presenter of the podcast, ‘Kris and Shaz in the Mother of All Roles’. The compe on is open to all NSW Seniors Card holders. Par cipants write a story, relevant to ageing, of up to 1000 words on a theme provided prior to the workshop. Past themes have included ‘Posi ve Ageing’, ‘Love your Life,’ ‘Resilence’ and ‘What’s Age Got To Do With It’? Submissions can be lodged between April 9 and 6.00pm May 21. The top 100 stories selected will be published as Senior Short Stories Vol 8.

The Beagle Editor, Our Sunday drive (Feb 13) heading north from Moruya along the Princess Highway almost ended in tragedy. It was not a typical crash; there were no other vehicles involved. Nor was it a kangaroo that crashed through our windscreen, but an airborne tyre apparently (according to witnesses) ejected from a ute towing a trailer heading south towards Moruya. Luckily the windscreen pillar took most of the impact and saved us from serious or fatal injury. We are so thankful to the kind people who stopped to assist, the Moruya police, tow operator and paramedics who a ended to our wounds and shock. The ute driver did not stop and may not have known what occurred but I hope that they take more care in the future to secure items which can become deadly missiles in uncovered vehicles. The police have no way of iden fying the driver but if anyone has dashcam footage of the incident can they please get in contact. Allan and Robyn Spira Lyneham

The Beagle Editor At next Tuesdays Council mee ng our elected representa ves, the Councillors are being asked to support the idea of off loading Araluen Rd and the associated public responsibili es council took on with it when the council agreed to take it on, or over from the state government in exchange for the State Government taking the financial responsibili es on with Hector McWilliam Dr at Tuross Head. Before the present councillors agree to any off loading and the community responsibili es of Araluen Rd, they all need to check it’s past history’s and establish why it was recommended Council take it on when it did. Check the files Councillors on everything that gets dished up for any sort of decision. Allan Brown

The Editor