BECOMING
devoted to prayer .................. Nov/Dec 2012
EDITOR’S LETTER The holiday season is fast approaching and I wonder if this has ever happened to you…. It's Christmas Eve and you're excited, although exhausted. The past month has been a whirlwind of parties, shopping, candy and carols. You've made it to the Christmas Eve service at church- it was a struggle to get everyone out the door on time and you might have yelled at your husband in the car. But still, you're here. And slowly, as you sing hymns and listen to the pastor's message, the realization washes over you that outside of the little time spent sitting in church the past month, you haven't spent any time at all preparing your heart or mind to receive the truth of Christmas. Well, maybe, that's not you. But that happened to me a few years ago. It's not what I wanted to happen. God has blessed me and my family so tremendously and yet I hadn't found it important enough to spend even an hour to be still, await His coming. This year, would you join me in taking a different approach? Would we commit to preparing our hearts and homes with prayer? Would we create the space in this season to linger with Emmanuel, the God who comes near to his people? This is an important decision because the Christian church today has a problem- we are not living prayerful lives. There are many of us who “pray on the fly” but haven’t committed to regular times of communion with God; while this is a good start, the Bible calls us to a lifestyle of unceasing prayer. Very few of us are devoted so deeply. Let me assure you that this issue is not at all meant to condemn us. It is meant to encourage us to think about what we’d like our prayer lives to be as we are reminded of the great power and privilege of prayer. I hope it will spur us on to integrate prayer into every corner of our lives. As usual, I invite you to follow along on the blog as we seek to dig deeper into the life God is calling us to live. Join us at www.becomingmag.com! Always BECOMING,
Shannon All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals, and to prayer. Acts 2:42
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IN THIS ISSUE
Features TASTE & SEE 6 by Shannon Basso THE ELEMENTS OF PRAYER 14 by Shannon Basso
Articles PRACTICAL PRAYER 18 by Melissa Ramb
PRAYING FOR YOUR SPOUSE 22 by Shannon Basso
PRAYING FOR KIDS 24 by Ashley Abernathy
DIFFICULT PRAYERS 26 by Nicole Ickes
Extras PRAYING THE SCRIPTURES 13
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THE CONTRIBUTORS
I am devoted to prayer because...
NICOLE ICKES
MELISSA RAMB
Prayer continually brings me into God's presence, deepens my relationship with Him, renews my mind and spirit daily to live with hope & gratitude, and opens my heart, eyes and ears to hear God's voice, see His power, & live in His peace amidst the chaos of this world.
...I desperately want to know my Savior
MICHELLE STERCHI
RHISSA PARKER
... I believe in and have experienced the power of God that is unleashed in our lives when we draw near to Him in prayer. It has become my daily life line. I love to pray!!
... because I can only rely on God’s wisdom. His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our own. Therefore, I trust Him with all that I love and hope for!
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better and to see life through the lens of His redemptive work. Without prayer I tend to worry, control, and focus on myself and my finite view of life. Â I love to pour my heart out to the Lord and intercede for others but my greatest joy comes when I hear Him speak to me in the quiet of my heart.
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Can You Imagine? 7 AM: I lay here this morning listening to the sounds of our waking household. There is stirring and the forced whispering of a 3 year old. He really is trying to be quiet. The littlest one is also awake and has grown restless of singing "Twinkle, Twinkle". She's calling for rescue from the crib. She knows the morning drill- "Dada? Dad-day…" After several tries with no response she gets desperate. "Mama?" I smile. Daddy swoops in and releases her; I stay in bed a little longer. A few minutes later my sunshine, the eldest, comes in silently and crawls on top of the bed. A pleasant surprise this morning- she leans over and kisses me gently on the cheek. "It's time to get up, Mommy", she says with that angelic voice. She is followed in by my sweet but not so quiet little boy who jumps on the bed and says, "Mommy, Look! It's morning time! Get up, get up, get up!" I laugh and notice the swell in my heart. This welling up of gratitude… how did I get all this goodness? No one in the room will understand the depth of this thankfulness I feel. I sigh and roll out of bed.
11 AM: I see an old friend while I'm running errands. Happy accident! We don't see each other much anymore so I am thrilled to see her, but she seems distracted, a little down even. Her mom is struggling through an illness… I wonder if that's it or something else. I'm always so uplifted by her friendship and my heart feels heavy as I walk away. I wish I could offer her more, do something to help her. I hate feeling helpless when others are in need… 5 PM: Why is dinner time so wild? Every child in this house takes a crazy pill in the late afternoon, I just haven't found the stash yet. I cannot believe I was at the grocery today and forgot chicken. It's only the main ingredient of dinner. So, I guess I"ll be serving whatever's in the pantry… again. Me: "Hon, could you get the rice started?" Husband: "How do you make rice?" Me: "Um, are you serious?" Did this skill somehow, magically escape him all these years? I give my best "I'm disgusted" grunt, roll my eyes and say, "I'll just do it myself." What is wrong with me? I just barked at my best friend, my closest ally. He goes and plays with the kids instead of dealing with me. He's an awesome dad, the kids adore him. Truth be told he's a great husband, too. Puts up with my nonsense and Lord knows I'm hard to deal with. I tell him I'm sorry. He forgives, he always does. I still feel awful... something is wrong with my heart. 7 PM: The moon hangs low. It's huge, orangey-yellow, the kind you can't not notice. I'm tempted to wake the kids so they can see. It's so amazing, the moon. Giving us light in the darkness, a way to see in the night. Surely something, someone out there is responsible for this beauty.
I want to praise in thankfulness but there's no on there. I want to beseech someone to intervene with power but no one's able. I want to confess this guilt but relief is nowhere to be found. My heart longs for a confidante but finds only silence. Can you imagine the void? Praise be to God for His gift, so we don’t live...
A Life Without Prayer BECOMING MAGAZINE
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TASTE & SEE: Rediscovering 4 Truths About Prayer One of my favorite parts of my "job" is studying and preparing for a new issue of BECOMING Magazine. Usually I am so excited to share what I've learned, to write and to encourage spiritual growth. But something was different this time. I sat down to get started and there was nothing… no urgent plea, no spiritual challenge, no words to put on the page. I had nothing to say about prayer. Now, let me just tell you that I'm the mom of 3 precious, but very energetic kids 5 years old and under, so I don't make it through an entire day without prayer. And be assured, this magazine I put together does not take shape without prayer. I am not capable
of producing anything worthy, inspiring, or even coherent without God's direct influence through prayer. So, I do pray. But, if I'm honest, I don't have to search very deep in my soul to detect the Spirit's conviction about my prayer life. My meager dependence on Him, the distracted requests tossed up in the chaos of the day… this is not entirely what He has in mind. I think a distinction can be made here between prayerful Christians and Christians who pray. Prayerful Christians have cultivated a lifestyle of prayer- it's who they are and how they live. Everything they do is woven together... (cont’d)
Words by Shannon Basso Photos by Rhissa Parker
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with the threads of prayer. They are God-reliant. This is opposed to the common practice of selfreliant Christians who treat prayer as another discipline that they try to incorporate into their busy lives. For the most part, they use prayer as a rescue tactic when they run out of their own options and there is no intimate relationship with God outside of their problems. There is a great difference. And as I sat down to prepare this issue, head and heart empty, I was forced to confront the truth of my own self-focused prayer life. "Why do we not give ourselves fully to prayer?", I wondered. The Bible commands us to pray. Jesus, fully God in human flesh, our perfect example, prayed constantly often rising in the early morning or staying late in the night to seek the Father. Why have we decided that obedience to God's Word and following after Jesus' example aren't enough to motivate us to a lifestyle of prayer? There are a million reasons we could give, but I agree with a prayerful friend whose bottom line assessment is this: "We don't pray because most of us just haven't fully tasted the sweetness of being in God's presence." We haven't built our lives on prayer, so we've missed the true prize: keeping company with the Almighty. We don't believe that God's promises concerning prayer are true, and so life goes on and we are ushered along with it, happily giving up the gift that breathes life into our relationship with Him. What else do we give up when we don't seek God in prayer? His peace. The guarding of our hearts and minds. Spiritual power and effectiveness. The opportunity to praise. A place to release our burdens. The ability to see God work. Healing. Forgiveness. Provision. Protection. Answers.
Prayer is where our deepest fears are laid to rest and our greatest joys meet their Author. The Bible promises amazing things as a result of our prayer, yet still, we do not use it! BECOMING MAGAZINE
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If we're honest, many of us think of prayer as some kind of boring Christian duty. But have you ever spoken to someone who is immersed in prayer, absolutely devoted to it? Let me tell you, they are not bored! In fact, I believe you could successfully argue that the most impassioned and effective Christians are those who devote their lives prayer. Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." David reminds us here that God invites us to experience Him. Sure, we may have to wrestle our will into obedience and do some hard work, but on the other side of that obedience is the all consuming Presence of our Creator. Everything our soul longs for. My intent is not to give you a 12 step program to follow or 21 day prayer challenge to keep up with. My intent is to reconnect you with God's great gift to believers. This is about the invitation to taste and see that the Lord is good. There are 4 truths that the Spirit used to draw me back into prayer, and I hope they might inspire you in the same way. Try out the “Taste & See” applications at the end of each section to experience it for yourself!!
No. 1:
Our Prayers Make a Difference.
Why is this important? Because even though God is sovereign, our prayers do ultimately matter. We've all asked it at some point… "If God has everything planned out already, why pray? Do my prayers really matter?" These are important questions and we have to look no further than the Bible for answers. Consider the intriguing things Jesus says about our prayers: ”Ask, and it will be given to you seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” Matt. 7:7 "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer,
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believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24 "Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." John 16:24 James 5:16 says, "The prayer of the righteous man is powerful and effective." These are bold, definitive statements suggesting that our prayers accomplish real things in the real world. And the Old Testament is chock full of examples of prayer making a difference in the lives of God's people. In Isaiah 38 we read about King Hezekiah, the King of Judah. God warned HIm that His life was near it's end and that he ought to get his affairs in order. At this, Hezekiah wept bitterly and prayed that God might remember his faithful and wholehearted devotion. Verse 5 says, "Then the word of the Lord came to Isaiah: “Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life." I think we could speculate that was more than Hezekiah would ever have asked or imagined! We see these incredible answers to prayer throughout the Bible- Abraham intercedes for Sodom, Moses pleads for the lives of the Israelites, Joshua asks the sun to stand still. God answered those prayers and He answers ours, too.
done through our praying. This means that certain things God has ordained to come about through prayer will not happen without it. We have forgotten this, or maybe we don't really believe it at all. It seems in the little prayer teaching I've heard in recent years, the point of God's sovereignty over human lives is so heavily stressed that it has resulted in a timidity in our asking. We are afraid to ask anything outside of His will, so we've stopped asking altogether. Indeed, we do want to pray according to God's will, for it is good and perfect. If you're not sure what that means for your life, start with 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." Every believer has the ability and privilege to know God, to know His will, and to seek His action in their lives. But, understand it is our responsibility to participate. What are you hoping for in your life but not actually praying for? Our thoughts do not become prayers until they are expressed to God. Remember, "the Lord delights in the prayers of His people" (Proverbs 15:8). He says in Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer you". The many invitations to enter into God's presence and request His action give us the courage to seek HIm with bold, persistent, and specific prayer. Although, we do ultimately have to trust Him with the answers, we can rest assured that our prayers do make a difference!
Taste & See: Notice answered prayer.
Of course, our prayers do not determine or change God's will, but they do affect the way in which His will is carried out. In essence, they lay the tracks along which His purposes make their way into the world. EM Bounds said, "God's purposes are always moving to their high and beneficial ends, but the movement is along the way marked by unceasing prayer."
God's answers prayer all the time, but we often fail to recognize it. If you are unsure your prayers matter, try this: keep a prayer journal of everything you are praying for down to the smallest request and start paying attention.
You see, our prayer lives are a conduit for God's purposes to flow into the world. He gets His work
We see answered prayer when we look for it!
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Colossians 4:2 says, "Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart."
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No. 2: Our Prayers Originate with God. Why is this important? Because it takes the focus off of us and our weakness and puts it on God- His greatness, His power, His will, and His ability to accomplish. We sometimes envision prayer as the lonely practice of knees bent here on earth while trying to reach God far away in heaven, but this is not at all the Bible's message. The hard work of prayer is not done by one feeble, unaided sinner, but by the entire Trinity working for and with and in us to advance His work in the world. Author Ben Jennings says that prayer is "more than something you do, it is something God does through you." I love Psalm 103:13 that says, "As a Father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we were formed, He remembers we are dust." God knows we are just human and that we fail, even in prayer. He is sensitive to our human condition, and so, is it not fitting that the compassionate Father would plan a way to help us pray? Romans 11:36 gives us a bold statement of truth: "Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God‌ For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things." So, all things, including prayer, are FROM God and THROUGH God and TO God. In Romans 8:26-27 we learn that "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." And 1 Timothy 2:5-6 and Hebrews 7:25 tell us that Jesus Christ is the mediator between God and man, and that that he always lives to intercede for us. The Father starts our praying. The Spirit intercedes and helps us know how and what to pray. We respond to those promptings by praying God's will BECOMING MAGAZINE
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back to Him. The Son stands for us by communicating our prayers back to the Father. The Triune God is the source, the means, and the goal of our prayer. So, we see that God's part and our part are intertwined. When we are truly listening to HIs voice, our prayers are actually His prayers and, therefore, they are eternally purposeful. I find this to be incredibly freeing and empowering. No longer do I see myself as the timid pray-er, unsure of whether or not I'm praying in the right way or according to God's will. No more half-hearted, unbelieving requests. Now I can come in confidence, knowing that as I continually draw near to Him, I will be praying HIs purposes and His will for my life! Something else amazing happens when we begin to acknowledge the inner promptings and groanings of the Spirit- our eyes lift from our own circumstances and we begin to really see the needs of others. We notice the deep burden for a friend's salvation. The pang of sadness for the poor. The urging to befriend the lonely. We begin to be concerned about what God is concerned about, and we become active participants in His kingdom work. Prayer for others takes on serious importance instead of obligation. Psalm 25:14 says, "The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them." As we humble ourselves and seek God, He confides His dreams, His purposes, and His will to us and then releases them into the world as we return them back in prayer. It's work we do together.
Taste & See: Pray in the Spirit. This is not some mystical prayer practice, but simply allowing God to pray in and through you. This is no more difficult than receiving the burdens He lays on your heart and praying them back to Him. Remember the Spirit's groaning within us? The next time you are concerned for a person or situation, pray. Immediately. Be aware of the many ways God is already guiding you to pray. Let Him lead you. 10
No. 3:
Prayer is a Learning Process.
Why is this important? Because it relieves of the pressure to pray perfectly. We need to know it's not about the right words or methods, but growing in relationship with Almighty God. Have you ever tried to enjoy something you haven't learned to do? Ever sat down at the piano and tried to play a beautiful tune without lessons or decided to be a world-class painter without any instruction? Or, like me, tried to enjoy preparing an extravagant meal when you don't know how to cook. It seems silly, right? We don't have unrealistic expectations about other skills in life. So, why would we expect to be skilled pray-ers from the start? Prayer is not a formula or technique to be mastered, but a discipline that takes time and practice. The more we do it, the more it makes sense, and the keener we are to perceive God moving. The apostle Paul's writings are filled with exhortations to pray which can basically be summed up in this: Pray. All the time. About everything. We think that because prayer is something that Christians are supposed to do, it should come easy. In one sense, this is true. Because we have been made new in Christ and given the ability to draw near to God, our heart's most natural response should be gratitude in prayer. But, we are not yet rid of our sin nature, and so we find resistance to prayer, as well. Our desire to do what we want often wins out. So, we see that just because we are able to do something doesn't automatically mean we are great at it, or that we even attempt it at all. Prayer is like the rest of the Christian life- it is a growing process. Just as our character is to be gradually transformed into Christ's likeness, so our prayer life is to transform and deepen as we pour ourselves into it. BECOMING MAGAZINE
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There is no shortcut to spiritual maturity, and there is no shortcut to maturity in prayer. Any devoted pray-er will tell you that the only way to pray well is to pray much. It is a way of living. So, find a specific time to meet with God and stick to it. Find a specific place, a spot that belongs to you and Him. Meet with HIm in the quiet of your day and then continue to bring everything to Him throughout the day. Don't worry about doing it "right". He's already praying for and with and in us, remember? 1 Corinthians 15:58 says, "Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." Friends, we must give ourselves fully to the work of prayer knowing is not in vain. We have to stop making excuses and stop letting distractions and moods dictate when and how often we meet with the Father. Take control of our prayer life, and in the famous words of Nike, "Just do it!"
Taste & See: Find a prayer partner. There is much to be gained from this practice. There is accountability and commitment in meeting on a regular basis. There is encouragement and comfort in learning to pray with trusted friend. This practice was very instrumental in my own life several years ago as I met with a sweet friend. It was as simple as discussing life over a cup of coffee and then praying together out loud for our concerns. This will grow your prayer life and your faith. As you meet together, you will watch God work and move and answer.
No. 4:
Prayer is Spiritual Warfare.
Why is this important? Because it reminds us that prayer is not a boring duty or rote repetition, but part of active participation in God's kingdom work. In Paul's great "Armor of God" passage in Ephesians 6, he speaks plainly about the truth that the believer's 11
real fight is not against flesh and blood but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Satan is called the ruler of this earth and he and his army fight to thwart God's plan on every level. Paul tells us that we have to stand firm and fight spiritual battles with spiritual weapons: "Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:13-17 And that's where most people stop reading. Paul continues:
But
"Pray in the Spirit at all times... and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. And pray for me, too... I am in chains now, still preaching this message as God’s ambassador. So pray that I will keep on speaking boldly for him, as I should." Ephesians 6:18-20 Do you suppose Paul counted prayer as an important part of the life and ministry of believers? He warns us about our spiritual opposition, tells us to suit up with God's armor, and then what? Pray, pray, and pray some more. We go on the offensive when we pray, seeking God's movement in the world and in our lives. This is good and what we ought to be doing. But, we have to acknowledge that there is a negative reaction in the spiritual realm. Satan does not want us to pray and works to keep us from it. We've established that prayer can be hard work and why wouldn't it be? The last thing the enemy wants is for you to grow closer to the Giver of Life and pray His good purposes into the world. Our apathy in prayer is the enemy's victory. You see, the less prayerful we are the less effective we
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are for God's Kingdom. At this point we might be tempted to think to ourselves, "Well, why would I want to be prayerful if it's only going to invite the attack of the enemy?" It's a fair question. If Satan does really prowl around looking for people to devour, wouldn't we want to avoid doing something that attracts His attention? I can only give you the conclusion that I've come to here: I know that He who lives in me is greater than he who is in the world and I need not live with a spirit of fear. I know that nothing can touch me without God's knowing about it, and therefore, I trust His plan for me is good and that He holds me in His righteous right hand. I know that no matter whom I choose to serve in this world I will have trouble, so I take heart because I serve the One who has overcome the world. Prayer is warfare, there's no doubt. But, I refuse to let the fear of Satan scare me into living an ineffective life. I hope you'll come to the same conclusion.
Taste & See: Pray the Scriptures. God is pleased in hearing His perfect Word spoken back to Him in faith. Because the Bible is living and active and it always accomplishes it's purpose, we can expect this practice to help us fight the good fight of faith and deepen our understanding of God. Consider starting with 15 minutes spent reading, reflecting on, and then praying back God's Word to Him. See "Praying the Scriptures" (at right) for instruction! Prayer is about relationship. A relationship we have to choose to be a part of. The decision we make effects the outcome of our lives. Let us respond to the call to prayer as King David did in Psalm 27:7-8,
"Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
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Praying the Scriptures is a powerful way to grow in relationship with God and seek His will. We know that God's Word is truth; it is powerful and perfect. And so, it is fitting that when we pray, we speak His true, perfect and powerful words back to Him.
Praying Scripture • First, pray that God will illuminate His truth so that your heart and mind will understand.
In The Arena of Prayer, author Ben Jennings gives these benefits to praying God's Word: it improves your mood and inspires your soul; we see the Bible from God's perspective and digest His spiritual truth; we explore the nature and character of God.
• Second, read the chosen passage, paying close attention to the Spirit's nudging. What do you learn about God from this passage? What do you perceive He is speaking specifically to you?
What in incredible way to combine the Christians’ two most powerful weapons: Scripture and Prayer!
• Third, pray God's Word back to Him. In this way, your prayer becomes a conversation with Godwe pray to Him and He speaks through His Word.
Pray Psalms & Proverbs: Psalm 8- To Praise Him Psalm 23- To Know His Character Psalm 91- To Seek Protection Psalm 139- To Find Your Identity Proverbs 2- To Gain Wisdom
Pray the Prayers of Paul: Ephesians 1:17-23 Ephesians 3:15-20 Philippians 1:9-11 Colossians 1: 9-12 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 Using Psalm 91 as an example, you could say: “Lord, I know ‘he who dwells in the shelter of the Most High’ finds rest and protection. I call on You today as my ‘refuge and fortress’. I place my trust in you in _________ situation.” And so on... With Scripture as a guide, pour out your heart to God as you give thanks for who He is and seek guidance for yourself and others!
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THE ELEMENTS OF PRAYER: Your Part of the Conversation While prayer is not an overly difficult discipline to engage in, there is a bit of mystery that can make uneasy about how to really do it. Prayer is a learning process- you will mature as you practice. There are several elements that should regularly be a part of our daily prayer time. In her book, Let Prayer Change Your LIfe, author Becky Tirabassi gives us the acronym P.A.R.T. as an outline for our prayers:
Praise God for who He is Admit to Him your shortcomings Request specifically of God Thank Him for answered prayer Use these guiding principles to help structure your prayer time with the Lord. As we do our P.A.R.T., God joins us in the conversation. Turn the page to read exactly how! Adapted from Becky Tirabassi’s Let Prayer Change Your Life Photo by Rhissa Parker
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p
is for Praise
“The Bible gives us more exhortations to praise than to pray, because God is altogether lovely, holy, and completely worthy of our worship. It is sometimes more important to persevere in praise than to continue to petition. In praise, we focus our spiritual eyes on God and see beyond ourselves and our problems to lay hold of His infinite love, ability, adequacy, availability, and sovereignty. Praise stirs up our faith to stand in His almighty name." Sylvia Gunter When we begin by acknowledging who God is and who we are in contrast, our prayers take on the proper perspective.
a
is for Admit
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. Now my eyes will be open and my ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place." 2 Chronicles 7:14-15 God hears the prayer of the repentant believerthe one who has place his faith in Jesus, humbled himself before God's authority, and acknowledged sin and turned away from it.
Psalm 100 says, “Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise!” The gates lead into the courts, the courts lead into God’s presence. Praise is how we get there.
A time of honest and heartfelt confession should always be a daily part of our prayer life. We invite God as David did, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-24
Scripture for Praising:
Scripture for Admitting:
Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise-the fruit of lips that confess his name. Hebrews 13:15
When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code, with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; he took it away, nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:13,14
Enter his gates with thanksgiving; go into his courts with praise. Give thanks to him and praise his name. For the Lord is good. His unfailing love continues forever, and his faithfulness continues to each generation. Psalm 100: 4-5 I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. Psalm 9:1-2 BECOMING MAGAZINE
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If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us of all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too. Mark 11:25 16
r
is for Request
“Is it possible to ask for anything you desire and also pray according to God’s will? Listen to the words of Jesus: ‘If you abide in me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you’ (John 15:7). To the degree in which you abide in Jesus, you can expect that your desires have come to you from the Holy Spirit.” ~ Ben Jennings There can be much confusion about how to pray according to God’s will and how He answers our prayers. This is something we become attuned to as we practice. To start, we: - Cast our cares on the Lord - Draw near to Him As we spend committed time with God in prayer, our hearts begin to align with His and we find that His desires become our desires. We learn of His faithfulness and grow in confidence as we look for His answers. Scriptures for Requesting: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6 Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3
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is for Thanks
We follow our requests by thanking God. “You thank God for his goodness to you, for all He has done for you. Giving thanks has a very important psychological function. It builds our faith. The more we stop and thank God for all that He has done for us, the easier it is for us to believe that He is going to do what we are going to ask next. Also, it is good manners.” ~ Derek Prince We give thanks to God for what He has done for us specifically. Our forgiveness through Jesus, His faithfulness to His promises, and his desire to meet us in prayer. We also give thanks, in faith, for what He will do in response to our requests. Scripture for Thanksgiving: Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what He has done. Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of His wonderful acts. 1 Chronicles 16:8-9 Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:55-57 But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. 2 Corinthians 2:14 Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15
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Practicing Prayer: Five Ways to Commit for Real “I will be praying for you…” A few years ago, I uttered those words to a hurting friend as I had done on countless other occasions. However, as a walked away, I asked myself whether I was just saying I would pray for that person or would actually do it. I decided that I wanted to follow through and to actually do what I said I would. I didn’t want to offer up a thoughtless prayer one time on their behalf but to commit to pray regularly for that person. I knew that I had good intentions but I also knew that I had, and have, a case of spiritual amnesia. I forget all too often. I let the busyness of my days crowd out the important spiritual things of life. I had the desire to pray and I began to ask for wisdom- “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5- and also the tools that I needed to take my good intentions and translate them into prayerful action.
I began to ask myself….what is prayer? The immediate answer is prayer is talking to God. The obvious follow up question is why should I pray? Isn’t God omnipotent and already knows my thoughts? Psalm 139 begins with these words, “O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord” (v. 1-4). The Lord intimately knows me but how intimately do I know him? If prayer is talking with Him- and also listening to Him- then how can I hope to intimately know God without investing serious and quality time with Him? Do I realize that I have a direct line to the Lord of the Universe, the one who spoke the world into existence (Genesis 1)? If so, why do I often find my mind drifting in my prayers to such trivial things as laundry piles, work
Words by Melissa Ramb Photos by Rhissa Parker
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preparation, and all the other endless contents of my to do lists? I decided that there had to be a better way. Knowing my wandering mind and heart but also my deep desire to commune with the living God, I began implementing certain prayer practices into my life. They aren’t a formula or a list of must dos, but just tangible ways to make prayer more accessible and more consistent in my life. I feel strongly that while I may have the best of intentions, if I don’t make a plan for how to do something, it most likely will not happen (and then I will feel guilty, defeated, and, ironically, probably less likely to pray). Here are a few things the Lord has revealed to me so far in this journey.
Prayer Journal I have already confessed my lack of focus in my prayers at times and a prayer journal helps me enormously with this. I began the practice as a sophomore in college with only a couple of rules…I always began “Dear Jesus” and ended with the words “but not my will but yours be done, O Lord”. Otherwise, just talked with God. I did this for many years and had countless experiences where I would be writing and realize I had put something into words that I did not even know that I felt. I found that my mind and heart do not wander when I am writing and I felt an enormous cleansing after about 3 pages of journal writing. However, for almost fifteen years of sporadic prayer journaling, I also self edited as if I could picture my family members or future family members reading my words over my shoulder. That all changed with a passing comment made by a woman that I barely knew. She told me that she throws away her journals when she is finished with them. What?!?! I remember being stunned by her comment but the Lord turned on a light that day and gave me permission to be fully honest with Him and with myself.
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In different and difficult seasons of my life, I have thrown away filled journals as the words and prayers of my heart were too raw for me to even read again. At other times, I have kept journals so that I can look back and see how the Lord has worked in my life and heart.
Prayer Walk In Genesis 5:22 and 6:9 we learn about Enoch and Noah who have the distinction of being the first men listed in scripture who “walked with God”. I like to walk and find myself walking our dogs once or twice a day so I began to use that time as a moving prayer. It started when a colleague went through a very public and tumultuous trial. I found myself seeing his house across the lake on my walk and it became a visual cue for me to pray for his family. Next on my route was the house that reminded me to pray for a friend who lost a newborn and then it was the teenager who seemed to be lost and joyless and a house that reminded me to pray for another friend who lost her husband. Over the past year and a half, I have found the privilege and joy of daily interceding for these and other people as well as seeking wisdom for my own family. For me, a prayer walk made sense but it can be anything that you do on a daily basis- driving to work, passing a certain place, doing a specific household chore or even brushing your teeth. Find daily cues that remind you to pray and then do it.
Prayer Wall When we moved into our current house, I had a space on the wall in our family room and I wasn’t sure what it needed. I prayed about it and a few days later, an idea came to me to make it our family prayer wall. I bought an inexpensive framed corkboard and put two antique confessional grates above it and began putting up pictures and names of people for whom our family prayed.
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At the time, our informal dining space was below and it was my intention that we choose someone from the wall to include in our evening prayer before dinner. While the furniture and lay out of the room has since changed, our prayer wall remains and our eldest daughter particularly enjoys adding special people to it. Another idea would be to place a prayer bowl on your dining table with names and pictures and draw one out each evening before saying your blessing. I have a friend who keeps photo Christmas cards and their family chooses one a week throughout the year and prays for that family. Whatever the method, the idea behind the prayer wall is that we pray as a family for those we love, who are sick or hurting. Prayer walls are also a great place to put up a weekly Bible memory verse.
Confession I grew up in the Episcopal Church and can remember being a very small child reciting our weekly prayer of confession and deciding that, if I only tried harder in the week ahead, I could do everything right and not have to pray the prayer. While ridiculous to the adult mind, I think many of us forget the blessing of regular confession as a part of our prayer life. Psalm 66:18 in the NKJ version says, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me”. Wow. Without confession and being washed clean in the blood of Christ, the Lord will not hear my prayers? I find that very motivating! And the minute that I think I don’t have anything major to confess, I begin listing where I have been inattentive to the Lord, have not honored Him with my words and thoughts, have sought my own agenda over His, and I find myself with plenty to confess. In fact, it is often the Lord who has to stop me and allow me to receive His mercy and His grace. Confession is a beautiful way to cleanse your soul and feel like you have immediately lost the
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weight of burdens, guilt, regrets, and indiscretions. It also prepares us to truly intercede for others.
Gratitude 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”. I once had a very intense conversation with a dear friend about this verse. She heard a priest give a sermon on it and was deeply offended that God would expect her to trivialize the many challenges in her life by giving thanks for them. I remember feeling like I bumbled my way through that conversation but in the years since, I think I am finally beginning to see this verse from God’s perspective rather than my own. I always have a choice, no matter the circumstances, to either be grateful and thankful or to be a victim. While it may require some searching, I can find a way, if I so choose, to thank God even when life is far from going the way I intended. Once I began to ingest this truth, I wondered if I could treasure hunt my way through the day to find little things and reasons to thank God. Last night it was for the breeze that was moving the leaves of our tree back and forth and for His continual presence despite my lack of focus on Him that day. God does not require our thanks because He needs it; we are the ones who need our eyes and minds lifted from the daily annoyances and challenges of life to the living God who created us. The more I give thanks to Him throughout the day, the closer I feel to the goal of praying continually. It also is a lot more fun to live the day in gratitude to God rather than enslaved to my desires and agenda. With gratitude, I am more able to see the big picture of God’s presence and plan for my life rather than my day-to-day existence.
These are the ideas that have worked in my life. May the Lord bless you as you pray and find your own way to make prayer a consistent and daily part of your life.
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COVERING YOUR SPOUSE: Steadfast prayer is what he needs most Your husband needs your prayers! This world is full of trappings and temptations for men. There are pressures to succeed, to be a provider for his family, to be admired and respected, and countless temptations to live according to the world’s standards instead of God’s. You know your husband’s needs- intercede for him at the throne of grace! We can pray for his specific needs such as work, physical and spiritual protection, and even salvation. We can also pray that his whole body is given to the Lord as a living “sacrifice” in worship. This includes his spiritual leadership, the purity of his mind, the intentions of his heart, and desire to walk with God. Take up the practice of praying for your spouse and watch God work. Words by Shannon Basso Photo by Rhissa Parker
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Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD... Psalm 19:14
Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11
The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them... Hosea 14:9
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. Matthew 7:24
May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us— Psalm 90:17
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation... Isaiah 52:7
I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Romans 12:1 BECOMING MAGAZINE
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COVERING YOUR KIDS: Praying God’s goodness over them
"… pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..." Lamentations 2:19
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Wanting desperately to be a prayer warrior for her children but not quite sure how, one mom shares how she found a way to consistently give her kids the "gift without equal". My first small group leader was a fabulous mom of four girls who had been consistently praying scripture for her children for years. With her ideas and some wise counsel, I set about changing the way I lifted up my own children to the Lord and He set out changing my heart. Not only could I pray specifically for my own boys in a meaningful way, suddenly I understood how to use God’s words in other situations when my own just wouldn’t come. I pick one verse for each child and pray it for a year, ideally everyday. I choose the verse around the new year, trace their little hand and write the verse on it. I try to think about what the year ahead will be like for them, any big milestones or new challenges they might be facing. . . like starting preschool or making new friends. Sometimes it's hard to know when they are little, so often I choose a verse about God's character I would like them to learn. One day it will be fun to give the verses to them. I hope they will be able to see how God has been writing His name on their hearts since before they were born and how their Heavenly Father’s words perfectly encapsulated their mother’s hopes and dreams for them.
~ by Ashley Abernathy, excerpted from “Praying For and With Our Kids” on Lillightomine.com
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DIFFICULT PRAYERS: Finding God in the midst of tragedy What do we do with the earnest prayers that just do not get answered? What do we do with a world that is so utterly broken, with so much hurt, neglect, and senseless evil? Do you ever wonder how a God who is in control of every single thing that happens in each of our lives could allow such devastating things to occur? Even things that we might be praying about with all of our hearts, minds and soul? These questions reflect one of the most difficult aspects of prayer… and in particular for women, where every
child becomes our child, every husband our husband, every friend our friend. I will be candid and honest…I have struggled and wrestled with God in prayer with these types of questions. Just like many of you, my husband and I have endured some really tough times in our 9 years of marriage. Within one year’s time, we lost our second baby boy at 22 weeks into pregnancy which was followed by 5 ½ months of bedrest with my daughter’s pregnancy. (cont’d)
Words by Nicole K. Ickes Photo by Rhissa Parker
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But, I want to share something…the truth of the matter is that those two experiences are both the most difficult of my life and also the ones I cherish and am most thankful for. God enveloped me in the midst of my hospital room after losing our child and gave me an overwhelming and intense glimpse of His Holy Presence. It was like nothing I have experienced before or will likely ever experience again. I will never be able to accurately express the peace, comfort and pure joy I felt when I should have felt nothing but devastation and sorrow. I can remember riding home from the hospital with my husband and saying, “I know I sound crazy, but I cannot explain how thankful I am…it feels like God gave me a gift, a secret…I’ve just been allowed to feel God.” My life story changed from that moment forward. It truly “rocked my world” and I continuously try to bring that feeling back to conscious mind when I struggle with the hardships people face in our world. I will not lie and say we didn’t have hard times to follow in trying to move on from what we expected our lives and family to be. And I wish I could say that faith and prayer were then perfected after such an experience OR that because we struggled through one really difficult time that we “met our quota” and didn’t have any more to come. I can tell you without an ounce of doubt that God could not do what He wanted to do in my life or make me into the woman He desires me to be without these events unfolding in the exact manner in which they did. Struggling with hard times, tragic experiences, and time periods of wait and trust in Him alone can change a person and move them toward Jesus in a way that nothing else can. In Beth Moore’s “Mercy Triumphs” study on the book of James, there was a line she said that really stuck out to me… “Mercy morphs into depression BECOMING MAGAZINE
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when we take God’s responsibility instead of our possibility.” After we lost our baby, I prayed fervently that God would continue to “break my heart for what breaks His.” My prayers were answered and He did just that. And I was not ready for it… I began to find myself crying uncontrollably on drives home from the pediatric hospital where I work after seeing patients and their families in hard conditions, or on days like Christmas Eve & Morning, thinking about what parents might be going through who had lost children and were experiencing their first Christmases without them. But then God began to do something amazing within my heart that I didn’t even know was possible. I cried out to Him so many times to give me wisdom and help me understand why some prayers are answered for healing and others just aren’t. I asked Him, “What really is the point of it (prayer), anyway then?!” And then the answer, the point, began to sink into my heart slowly, but surely. Faith. Trust. Hope. Love. Mercy. God allowed my heart to break completely for others so that I could understand just a taste of what He feels for each of us when we are hurting so deeply. How unfathomably difficult it must be for Him to let even one of His precious children crumble inside when He knows He could take it all away with the blink of an eye! He allowed me to struggle until I eventually settled into the peace that there is SO much more than what the eye can see or the human heart can feel. That His ultimate and perfect plan for each one of us does not happen “in spite of” our hardships, but absolutely cannot happen unless every part of this difficult and sometimes tragic life unfolds just the way it is supposed to…and that prayers DO work to 28
bring us peace and give us strength, endurance, and healing. Prayers bring us closer into His Holy Presence to get through it all. Whether we struggle in prayer for ourselves or for others facing desperate situations, I truly believe that there is only one place to go for solace when there are no answers… God’s Holy Word. If we truly believe God is good (Psalm 100:5), we must live by faith and not by sight. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust the Lord will all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding.” We can’t assume that we know what is best in all of life’s hardships and situations. We can’t assume that there is only one “right answer” to a specific prayer. We must remember that we live within constraints of time and knowledge, and that God’s greater plan is so intricate that only He has the knowledge and design of how something so terrible to us must play out exactly the way it does in the course of time to bring about His ultimate glory. "As for God, his way is perfect...He is a shield for all who take refuge in him." (Psalm 18:30) We must pray for trust in Him through all things. And we can pray for Him to increase our faith in Him and His goodness. There are going to be times when hopes and prayers lie unanswered. In those times, we are given the assurance that we can continuously go to the Lord with all of our raw feelings and honest emotions. The bible tells us to "Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7). God invites us to present our anger, frustration, confusion, tears, and questions of why? at any time and without condemnation. After all, He already knows our every thought and feeling...why not deepen our relationship with Him even further by candidly crying out to Him in prayer, asking Him to keep us together, to give us His wisdom, and to BECOMING MAGAZINE
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give us His Holy comfort? "The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:5-7, NKJV). Only Jesus can give us a peace that defines the present circumstances. When our world may seem like it is falling apart, through prayer and trust, God WILL keep us together. So, I have learned I don’t need to let the hardships in this world bring me to the point of a “merciful depression” over all of it. God doesn’t ask us to offer answers to those who are hurting. Only God knows those answers. He only asks that we “love one another as ourselves” and show His mercy and love in all circumstances. I have accepted that I can allow my heart to break in order to love other people better and more completely. I must let others’ painful struggles pierce my life in a way that continuously awakens my gratitude, hope and ultimate trust in the Lord and His omniscient and perfect plan. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for that day in heaven when my eyes are opened to it all and I can look back and say, “Of course.” Until we reach that day at the end of our road here on Earth, I want to live a life of joy, gratitude, and trust in my Father. I will seek to know Him through daily study of His word and prayer with thanksgiving through all things, trusting in His promises and finding solace in His peace.
“So give yourselves completely to God… Come near to God, and God will come near to you.” James 4:7-8 29
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