U N C E R T A I N TI MES
“Isti l lb e l i e v ei nt h a ti d e at h a tg r e e n e rp a s t u r e s s h o u l db ef o u n dr i g h th e r ei no u rh o me”
Butwast her eevenat i mewhent hi ngsar ecer t ai n? Iconsi dermysel fbur nedoutt hatday . Apar tf r omt heusual st r esst hatmyunendi ngsagaofschool wor kbr i ngs,t he dat eFebr uar y25meantsomet hi ngdeeper . Thatday dr eadedmef orsol ong,andnowi thascome.I ti st i met o deci dei ft hef ami l ywi l l f ol l owt heFi l i pi nodi aspor a–at hi ng cal l edmi gr at i on,at hi ngt hatmeantchangi ngmyl i f e. I tt ookmeal ongt i met oset t l emysel f .Ihavehat edt al ki ng whygoout t hecount r ywi t hmymot her ,t hepl annerof t hi si ndeci si on.Sher ecommendedt hatt hef ami l ymove abr oadt oCanadawi t hourgr andmot her ,i nabi zar r e pl acecal l ed“ Saskat chewan” . Thi swasdur i ngt het i me whenmyf at hergaveupourf ur ni t ur ebusi nesscausedby t her i si ngpr i ceoft her awmat er i al s( andi t sscar ci t yduet o t hel ogban) . Appar ent l y ,Saskat chewanhadanomi nat i on pr ogr amwher ef or ei gner sar ei nvi t edt opopul at et he ar ea.Nowt hat ’ swei r d. Thesi zeoft hePhi l i ppi nes,home t oal most90mi l l i onpeopl e,i sonl yaquar t ert ot hi sCanadi anpr ovi nce.However ,t hepopul at i onofSaskat chewan i sonl yaf r act i onoft hatofourcount r y . Tal kaboutst r ange! Fr omt hest or i esI ’ vehear d,Saskat chewanof f er sacozy f eel .Gr andmawoul dr epeat edl yr ecal l herf i shi ngescapadesandt hatencount erwi t hawi l dmount ai nbear whenshehadgonecampi ng!Wel l ,ki ddi ngasi de,t he pl acei saseemi ngpr omi sedl andf ormymot her . Ther e, shet el l s,t hegover nmentwi l l t akecar eofyou:f r eemedi cal benef i t s,ast eadyst r eamofpensi oni ncome( once youbecomeaci t i zen) ,ahi ghchanceofempl oyment , andt hepr omi seofabr i ght erf ut ur e. Tempt i ng,i sn’ ti t ?I n f act ,i twassot empt i ngt hatal mosthal fofmyknownr el at i vesi nourbar angay ,Lol omboy ,wentt her e.Sohugewas t hei rnumbert her et hatt heFi l i pi nocommuni t yi nmy gr andma’ spl acewasdubbed“ Li t t l eLol omboy” .Wi t ht hi s, mymot herassur esme,f eel i nghomesi cki snotmuchofa pr obl em;i twi l l nott akel ongbef or emyLi t t l eLol omboy nei ghbor hooder asemyl ongi ngf ort her eal Lol omboy backher e. Andwi t ht hebenef i t st hatt hef ami l ywi l l get f r omt heCanadi angover nment ,r et i r ementf ort hemwi l l beeasy ,andf orus,agoodf ut ur eawai t s.“ Bepr act i cal , myson, ”asmymomput si t .
However ,i ti snotsi mpl yani ssueoff i shi ng,mount ai n bear s,andal l t hechi l di shf ant asyofseei ngsnow,nora mat t erofpr act i cal i t yorsecur i ngourf ut ur e.I t ’ ssomet hi ng wayl ar ger .Ir ecogni zet hef actt hatt her ear egoodpaybacksi ngoi ngabr oad,butIf eel t hatt hesocal l ed“ Amer i canDr eam”( orcal l i tt heCanadi anDr eami fyoul i ke) ,i s notmeantf orme.Goi ngabr oadechoest hat“ saveyour sel ff i r st ”ment al i t y ,t hei deaIhavel onghat edamongour compat r i ot s.Iamver yappr ehensi veofmat er i al i sm,andI pr ef ert ol i vesi mpl yi nt hecount r ywher ej oyi snotf oundi n t henumberofdi gi t smybankaccounthas,ort henumber ofcar sIown.Myf at her ,bor nwi t hnotsomuch,t aughtme t hi s. Thi ngssuchasbei ngt oget heri nt hef ami l y ,t hecompanyoff r i endset c.ar ef armor ei mpor t antf orme. Thi sbr oughtmet oask:Whyar epeopl ehavi ngt hi sment al i t y?Ther eusedt obeat i mewhenchi l dr enwoul dsay “ Apol i ceman! Adoct or ! ”or“ Anact or ! ”wheneveryou woul daskt hemwhatt heydr eamof .Nowaskt hemand t hey’ l l t el l you“ Iwantt obeanur seandIwantt ogo abr oad. ”Whathappened?Whyhast hecount r ybecome somoneyor i ent ed?Nababayar annangabaangl ahat ngPi l i pi no?Thi sopt i ont ogoabr oadwasachancet o gi vemypar ent st hegr aceofapeacef ul r et i r ement ,buti t woul dsepar at emef r omt hedr eamst hatIhave.Forme, moneydoesmat t er ,buti tnevergoesf i r sti nmypr i or i t i es. I ’ mconf used.I ’ mpr essur ed.Li f emayneverbet hesame agai n. Thei nvi t at i ont oCanadai saonet i me,bi gt i me of f er .Oncet hef ami l ydecl i nes,r eappl i cat i onwi l l beal most i mpossi bl e;byt hatt i me,mypar ent swi l l beover aged. Tear sf l owedf r ommyeyest hatday ,t hef i r stt i met hey f l owedagai nsi ncemymot herl ef tusf orI t al yf ouryear s back.Il ockedt her oomofmydor m,wi t hvar i oust hought s r aci ngi nmymi nd.Shoul dIgi vei n?Shoul dIt el l t hemt hat Iwi l l st opst udyi ngi nAt eneot ogi vet hemt hechance? Then,Ibegant ot hi nkofpr ayi ng.Iaskedt heLor df or par donbecausef ormanyt i mesIhadgoneangr yatmy
mot herf ori nsi st i ngour“ br i ghtf ut ur e” . Af t ert hat ,Iwai t ed… andIwai t ed. Sever al mi nut esl at er ,myphoner ang.Iwasmymot her . I nashaki ngvoi cewet al ked,andaf t eracoupl eofgr eet i ngs,shehadi tst r ai ghtt ot hepoi nt .Wewer enotgoi ng.I wasst r uckandspeechl esswhi l emymot hercol l apsed i nt ocr yi ng.She,i nar api dandal mostuni nt el l i gi bl e t ongue,t ol dmet ost udywel l ,t akecar eofmysel f ,andbe agoodson. Thenabr upt l y ,wi t houtl et t i ngmesayasi ngl e wor d,shecut st hecal l . Iknewwhatt hatmeant .She’ spl anni ngt ogobackt oI t al y andwor kt her e.Ihavehear dt hi spl anonce,whenmy mot hert ol dmyf at hert hatshemi ghtgobackt oI t al yi fwe donotpr oceedt oCanada. Thi smademef eel downabi t mor e.Butt hepr ospectofnotgoi ngt oCanadagaveme somehope.Iam,bynow,i nbet weent hel i nesofhappi nessandsor r ow.I tgavemeachancet opr ovet hatl i vi ng her ei smor ef ul f i l l i ngt hanescapi ngt ot hatpl acef l owi ng wi t ht her i chesoft hewor l d.I tgavemeachancet of ol l ow mydr eamsIhavesetf ormysel f ,andachanceoft he si mpl el i f e. Ist i l l bel i evei nt hati deat hatgr eenerpast ur esshoul dbe f oundr i ghther ei nourhome.IhopeandIpr ayt hatone day ,goi ngabr oadwi l l meanl ei sur eorbusi nesst r ansact i ons,notl aborandmi gr at i on.Someday ,somehow,I uphol dt hei deat hatpeopl ecanst i l l dr eamofabr i ght f ut ur ewi t houtl eavi ngt hePhi l i ppi nes.Iknowwecansur vi ve. Yes,t hesear euncer t ai nt i mes,butwast her eevera t i mewher et hi ngswer ecer t ai n?I tonl yt akesal i t t l ef ai t h anddet er mi nat i on–bel i efi nt hatdaywher ewenol onger havet owor r yaboutf ami l i essepar at edbydi st anceandf i nanci al st r at i f i cat i on. Thenextday ,Iwenthomeandembr acedmymot her .I madeherf eel howgr at ef ul Iam,andhowIdonotwant ourf ami l yt obesepar at edagai n.
G I A Nl o v e swh e r eh ewa sr a i s e daF I L I P I NO