sum mer 202 term 0
this zine is a collection of work created by teenage girls at school in lockdown across the uk
edited by laura katan lily pinto edith johnson a project by be her lead
Sylvia The Latymer School 2
contents cover design by heather girls
- rainham school for
2 sylvia - the latymer school 5 'empty eyes' charlotte - sacred heart high school 6 duru - bolder academy 7 'silence' edrisa - kingsdale foundation school 9 amelie - enfield county school 10 tanvi - reach academy feltham 11 'girl in lockdown' nimah - sir john cass secondary 13 'me my brother & adhd' ellamay - Bobby Moore Academy 14 danielle - bolder Academy 15 'bars: lyrics for lockdown' kayden haringey sixth form college 17 'one day' isobelle - carlton le willows academy 19 'virtual reality' - bianca park view school 23 jiya - saracens high school 24 dhasel - saracens high school 25 'be her lead' precious - lea valley academy
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contents continued 26 tiger lily - bobby moore academy 27 dipti - villiers high school 28 shahara - sir john cass secondary school 29 'a day in the life of a girl in lockdown' heather - rainham school for girls 30 abigail - sacred heart high school 31 'the key' ellie - carlton le willows academy 33 pawandeep - villiers high school 34 mia - bobby moore academy 35 thurha - villiers high school 36 ananya - bolder academy 37 'mother nature' kitty - carlton le willows academy 38 'the vocaloid trio in lockdown' anastasia - skinners academy 40 ayisha - twyford church of england high school 41 Letters from the editors 44 thank yous 45 about be her lead
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Empty Eyes
Charlotte Sacred Heart High School 5
Duru Bolder Academy
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Silence. That's all you can hear for miles. The clickety clack of her four inch stilettos echo in the concrete. We see no end in sight. The blur of the T.V screen rocks behind us. Numbers. We've become merely numbers in a world were identification was a life line. The only thing left to grab has slipped through our fingers. Every day the numbers increase. More reports. More digits. More silence. With nothing to do we sleep and deform and change. We cry out a breathless prayer at night while we scroll through the endless pictures of social media. Everyone is donating, sharing, showing how much they supposedly care. We, on the other hand, struggle in the fight for survival while we line up for a slice of bread and a pint of milk. We wrap our noses in scratchy cotton in a weak attempt to fend off a deadly attack from something we neither hear nor see. It's like seeing a ghost without truly seeing it. Remake of Casper with more blood. The stench of death...we neither smell nor feel it. We view people dropping in their last days, their musky scent littering the scene but we waft through it. We can't stop living because others have succumbed to the treacherous path that is life. We shrug our shoulders with the drenched fact that we can do no more than sit inside and wait. No cure. No saviour. No voice. We see celebrities sending floods of cash towards every government in the world but still we sit in the solitude of our brick walls because we don't have the funds to stretch that far. We scrape the single drop of sunlight we can receive in these past weeks because we are unable to admit to ourselves that this is out of normality.
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Normality. We laugh at the word, meaning opposite to abnormal, when clearly that is what we are. We are defenceless because we don't know or even want to know what we are up against. We are unprepared for the shock that is about to rain down on us in piles of thunder and lightning because we refuse just to follow orders our seniors have given. A child skips across the stone opposite my glass frame without a care in the world. He smiles with so much ambition and soul that we can't bare to break down his cocoon of limited happiness. He laughs when others won't. He sings when others won't. He dances when others won't! But then he cries. He cries for the pain he feels searing through his leg because he has just stumbled and fallen. He lifts himself up after a hug from his mum and continues on his way. We envy the boy. His smile lights up the gruesome atmosphere that we have bathed ourselves in. His tears of purity are that of love and what more the boy may not have the voice of an angel but he lets the world know. It's the fear that shadows us. For we no longer know the art of escapology ,we are trapped in something that we no longer wish to be trapped in. We watch the trees sway and the sun glow but the moon rises and the sun hides leaving us to our dangerous thoughts. As I dream of what was and what could've been, the boy waves. A lonesome tear rolls down my cheek and I turn my back to the infant. I listen in the silence for the whisper of freedom. A twinkle of a laugh escaped from my lips. It sounded like the ocean.
Edrisa Kingsdale Foundation School
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Amelie Enfield County School
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The empty streets. The quiet racecourse. The deafening silence in all outdoor leisure places. As I stare through my bedroom window, I think back to when I would see people bustling around in a hurry to get somewhere and now, when all I can see is the trees dancing in the distance. While we are on lockdown, it feels as if everything has come to a standstill. When the gentle breeze comes in through the window, I feel like an animal trapped in a cage with the smallest amount of freedom. The mere thought that this duration of time could last for longer makes me want to break free from this imprisonment.
tanvi Reach Academy Feltham
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Girls in Lockdown It's been nearly 2 months since the lockdown started. When it first began it was what you could call boring but overtime hobbies get developed. Learning how to bake cupcakes; cakes; brownies and cookies. Painting and drawing, digitally or traditionally. Completing home learning. Reading books and stories, getting caught in the moment and even spending hours on our phones. Scrolling through Instagram, Snapchat or TikTok. FaceTiming our friends and family. Watching TV; Netflix or Disney+. Playing video games on the PS4 or Nintendo Switch; Fortnite, Animal Crossing or Super Mario. These are just a fraction of activities Girls In Lockdown have been taking part in. Enjoying the moment and the time we have for ourselves while it lasts.
Nimah Sir John Cass Secondary 11
Nimah Sir John Cass Secondary 12
Me, my brother and ADHD Wow. What scary times we have all been faced with in recent weeks. The not-knowns have been very distressing to us all. It’s funny how when we are all getting up early to go to school, work, college or university, we find ourself complaining, whether it be about that boring lesson we all dread at 11:30 or that long journey to work with the over packed trains with that smell that makes you want to bring up your breakfast! Rushing out the door with your bag on your back, running for that bus you’ve been checking on city mapper for the last 15minutes and you know if you miss it, you are going to be late! We take so many things for granted every day of our life. That bus driver who is driving you to your destination to get there on time, that teacher who you go home to your mum and moan about for giving you detention for no reason! Your mum who gets up early, waves you goodbye and welcomes you home with a smile and a homely feel at the end of a hard day. This lockdown has, yes, been very boring and very testing, but it has made me realise how thankful I am to have the people I have around me, but also how I take for granted family members who I see every other day but now I have not seen in 6/7 weeks. I’m also quite certain that, like myself, you have a love/hate relationship with your younger or older siblings. It may be that she stole your favourite lipstick or he came into your room without knocking. I just know it’s annoying! However, in my lockdown, I have opened my eyes to a whole new way of seeing things. I have a nine year old brother who has ADHD and I always moan to my mum about him, or it sometimes seems that my mum is less harsh with him and sometimes it feels unfair. Lockdown has helped me realise that all that is actually unfair is that my brother goes through what he does every single day. Everyday, I set myself a challenge to help him do his class work. What I did not know then that I know now, is just how much he struggles academically. We had tears, we had fights, but we got there in the end. Lockdown has made me feel so many emotions. I feel lucky that I can do my work and not struggle like my brother does. He has found lockdown really hard, as it has thrown away his routine. So let’s all look at our lives and be more grateful for what we have, not what we don’t have. Thank you NHS and all the key workers putting their lives on the line for us all.
ellamay Bobby Moore Academy 13
danielle Bolder Academy
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kayden Haringey Sixth Form College
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One Day
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isobelle Carlton Le Willows Academy
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Virtual Reality The intoxicating, greasy odour from the city centre fills my nostrils as soon as I open the door to the external world. The monotonous mornings are significantly stretching as the minutes slowly go by, while I’m begging for the day to be over; the tedious, repetitive days have drained the souls out of this huge mass of people, causing them to become as mechanical and expressionless as the screens that they constantly clutch in their pale hands. Those digital devices embedded in their bodies are more vital to them than their heart or perhaps even their brains…Blocks of iced skin - no face, no interactions. Bodies without souls. Lost. And there is me. A filled with these the systems. Don’t magical machines -
teenage girl, in the heart of a city cyborgs. I refuse to sell my soul to get me wrong, I still make use of the I just won’t allow them to take over my free will.
The vicious breeze cuts like an iced knife and I shrink inside my clothes as a useless attempt to warm up. Oh yes, I can feel those sensations - cold, hot, happiness, anxiety - and obviously they are not always pleasant but they are what makes me a human still, just like any other person back in the 21st century. Back then, they used to talk to each other in the middle of the street, laugh out loud, burst into tears, celebrate life in its full splendour; there was no such thing as virtual reality. At least that’s what my IBook says.
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The town is just an agglomeration of skyscrapers bursting with commercial propaganda. I furtively climb up on the roof of one of those ginormous buildings to contemplate how incomparable and limitless the human power used to be… oh, how I wish I could go back! My reverie is cut short by what I suddenly perceive in front of me - A piece of paper A relic, which traveled in time to meet me in this exact moment, innocently lands on the dirty ground. As I pick it up, it feels so light, so pure - definitely not part of this grotesque society. The letters in bold read: “PaPEr: BloCK 14, 15.00”. These sheets of paper were last seen decades ago. This could only be a sign. Was there still hope for society? Was there a chance of life to return to normality? No time to think! Block 10 isn’t that far away and I would never be able to forgive myself If I missed the chance of making a difference in this condemned world. A split second - only a split second and I find myself running frantically like a rat in a macabre maze; except I’m dodging robots, cyborgs and flying screens while my feet feel like they barely touch the ground. Block 11: my head is spinning with excitement, anxiety and the anticipation of change…finally! Block 12: my heart echoes my footsteps... pounding in unison. My fists punch the air triumphantly but my legs are begging me to stop what feels like an epic marathon. Block 13. Keep going! Keep going! That’s it: block 14! The end of the so-called Ecivilisation – it ends here. Rubbing my eyes with anticipation, I quickly check the piece of paper again and again.
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I wait. The time is right and so is the happens. Is it a prank? Furiously, and throw the paper on the ground frustration. All hopes
place - yet, nothing I let a loud scream out as I try to relieve my for nothi..
‘’Ptss… hey you! Down here’’ a little voice says. As I rub my eyes in dismay and try to locate the feeble voice, I see a small boy poking his head through a hidden door camouflaging within the bricks, beckoning me to come in. Walking in feels like stepping into a parallel universe: there’s a small group of people writing on paper, painting, chatting, laughing, talking and, most importantly, CARING. ‘’If you cared enough to find us you must really want a change in this corrupted society we live in, right? Here you are”, the boy adds, taking a paint bucket and directing me to a blank canvas in the middle of the room - ‘’let it all out’’, he smiled warmly. Hesitantly, I take the paint brush and the bucket and stare at the white screen in front of me. This is no usual electric screen - it smells fresh...it smells of freedom. My whole being is overwhelmed with euphoria as I start to embrace humanity's long lost ‘normal’ - my NEW normal. Was the paper landing at my feet a fortunate stroke of serendipity? Did the universe get tired of listening to my misery and finally answered my ardent prayers? These are questions we must leave for another time because right now, we have to start our own revolution: restoring the NEW old normal into the heart of the society, where it belongs..
bianca Park View School 21
bianCa Park View School
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Jiya Saracens High School
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dhasel Saracens High School
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Be Her Lead I'm tired, yet awake. I'm trapped, yet free. The walls are closing in, yet haven’t moved an inch. I want to scream, yet there is no reason to...or is there? Falling asleep in the early hours of the morning after being alone with your thoughts through the quiet night can be crippling. The making situations out of nothing, the “What ifs”, the insecurities, they are all a futile attempt to escape reality. Trying to be thankful for what you have and attempting to drill into your head that others are worse off than you are will not alleviate the anxiety, my dear. It will not free you of the suffocating need to be far away from where you are, both physically and mentally. It will not. Therefore, you must Be Her Lead. You must tell your soul that a better time is coming. One where you won’t feel a fear of socialising again; in fear that you have changed and the people you held close no longer want to be in your life. You have evolved into a better you, a stronger you. You have lived in your mind through a time where death was a key factor in your everyday life. Where adults and children alike, were ripped from their families and from this world. Where deaths of people you didn’t even know left a sharp pain in your chest. You must Be Her Lead. You must kiss your mother, aunt, sister, cousin on her cheek and let her know that everything will be better in time. For you are not the only one stuck with tormenting thoughts brewing a storm inside you. You must Be Her Lead. You must look up at the sky and see the world still continuing.You must see the moon replace the sun over and over. You must Be Her Lead.
precious Lea Valley Academy
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Tiger-lily Bobby Moore Academy
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dipti Villers High School
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shahara Sir John Cass Secondary School
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heather Rainham School for Girls
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Never in my life would I have imagined like this to happen in our generation. with just a snap of a finger or a mere eye, our daily routines that we are so have been immediately limited.
something Somehow, blink of an used to doing
Some teenagers may cheer in the living room watching the news or scrolling through social media looking for the latest news as headlines of ‘British Prime Minister: ‘Schools to close until further notice’’ appear whereas some may face confusion and worry for their academics. But me? I could say I would land right in the middle. Sure, one or two months of school seem exciting but it also puts a risk to my academics, especially when GCSE’s are coming up for me soon. Alongside not being able to see your friends too! There are tons of ups and downs in the situation we’re facing but we shouldn’t give up. The frontliners, our unsung heroes, are doing their absolute best for the country. They chose to stay away from their families to help other families. So just by merely staying at home, we can make such a big change in this pandemic. It will all be better in the end. But if it isn’t then that means it isn’t the end yet.
abigail Sacred Heart High School
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The Key They didn’t know her story. They didn’t know of the excruciating agony which burned inside her wounds. They didn’t know her “attention seeking” was a siren calling out in a frenzy of mistrust and hurt. They didn’t know her involuntary grin held miserable secrets. She was just the girl who inflicted pain upon herself for attention -Wasn’t she? They didn’t know that artificial hand prints clutched her tiny physique and forced her compulsory silence. They didn’t know of the padlock which sealed her lips was lined with deception and an insignificant mind-set. They didn’t know that her cuts where deeper than the knife they could view and inflict on her. They didn’t know by bullying her, they would ultimately push her over the edge. The edge… She didn’t know that it wasn’t her fault.
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She didn’t know that the padlock could have been opened and she would have been free. She didn’t know that she had the key. She didn’t know that she never had to stay silent. She didn’t power.
know
that
she
had
She didn’t know that it is NEVER the victim’s fault. She knew the future she wanted – She had the key, Passed down to her by the power of her mother, Generations of strong women before her, The future she wanted has always been within her. Within her – Within us – Within you.
ellie Carlton Le Willows Academy 32
pawandeep Villers High School
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I look out of my window every morning when I wake up. I don't know why. It's just become part of this new routine, this new life everyone is focusing so hard on adapting to. When I look out, I don't even know what I'm looking for. Whether it's to see if the world is exactly the same as the previous day, or if it's to see if everything has changed. But even when I look, I can't tell what the difference out of those two things might be. What would the world even look or even feel like if it had changed since the day before, and would I even be able to tell if it had? Even if it was the same. Even if the world wasn't any different, how would I know? That's one of the things that scares me at this particular moment in time: the unknown. As I said, I don't know why I have accustomed myself to look out of the window every day, but I just have. Maybe it's my body's subconscious way of keeping me feeling safe; or maybe it's an 'unknown' thing that could be driving me slowly insane. Maybe I'll never know. But all I know is that being on this side of my little window means that I am surrounded by some of the people I love most in this unpredictable world, and if the world is in fact coming to an end, I will always feel safe if I have them to share my last moments with.
Mia Bobby Moore Academy
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Thurha Villiers High School
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ananya Bolder Academy
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Mother Nature
We didn’t listen Our ears deafened by the media. The sand has slipped through the timer Like silk running over our hands. We didn’t listen To the battle cry of the planet. Last bird song over the horizon Skies bleeding fiery-red war paint. We didn’t listen The hush of trees as another falls. A soldier, with its branches reaching Grasping onto the last grain of hope. We didn’t listen To the raging storm ahead of us. Thunderclaps mocking our mistakes Chills like fingers on a piano. We didn’t listen Back when I had the whole world to live for We knew time was running out quickly So why on earth didn’t we listen? We didn’t listen Too busy overwhelmed by the Pandemic panic, please stay at home Caught in our spiderweb trap. We didn’t listen To the youth screaming at us to hear. Only seeing the world through a rose-tinted flower Had to pull off the petals to seek clarity We didn’t listen Enveloped in a blanket of smog Slowly suffocating our planet Drowning in the rising oceans. We didn’t listen To the hum of locusts swarming. Like the grumble of a plane engine The bomb inside counting; no time left. We didn’t listen The growl of the jungle king is ceased The second thousand species, Silenced. Why didn’t we listen? Mother Nature has surrendered Destroyed by her own creation But we missed our chance. It’s too late now.
kitty Carlton Le Willows Academy
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The Vocaliod Trio on Lockdown One trio. One dangerous epidemic. As the world suffers the deadly virus with disastrous effects that is ripping apart families and friends who are staying in their homes, some had gave up on what was in their bucket list. However, a trio is now making a huge start to what could possibly change their lives forever. “I had told you so many times! It’s supposed to be spelt am-ay-a. Not amyl!” “IM SORRY IM NEW TO THIS!!” “I feel ashamed to be even work with people like you guys sometimes…” “Oh I’m sorry sweet Anna, I’m surrounded by 2 girls who like to bicker about me and they are Anna and GEGE!!” “SORRY AGAIN JOE!” The bickering restarted as Anna watched. It was a usual meeting call for the Vocaliods Amaya and Hyama; a new Vocaliod brother and sister duo that could possibly change views about a dystopian future. Luckily for them, the Vocaliod had a form of popularity in a media named amino. An app that can allow joining or creating a community that can be from singers to even genres of books. The bickering started to cool off as Gege ended the call. Joe’s disappointment can be seen through the screen as Anna looked at his upsetting stance with a dead pan face. “Really Joe? Is she that hard to work with?! Come on, you go to a private school and I’m sure that they taught you manners hadn’t they?” “I’m sorry Anna; Gege has no dam clue what she is doing and keeps ruining this! Whatever can I do with her?! I just wish she will leave.”
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Meanwhile from Gege’s perspective, her tear stained face looked at the work she failed on. The negative words echoed louder as she sobbed. She was always mistreated no matter where she goes. A loud bang on her bedroom door startled her as her overprotective mother rushed in the room. “Don’t tell me sweetie, is it your Trio again?” Gege nodded and looked at her loving mother with sadness written on her face. Her mother smiled. “Don’t worry, tomorrow is your big day to shine above the rest. You will show that having a mental health never changes your achievements.” The next day, the trio came on live with millions of people from each of their school watching it as Gege was shuddering, avoiding Joe’s death glare. “Gege! Why don’t you talk about what are your biggest dreams when you guys grow up?” Gege shot up and looked at Anna with a sad expression and sighed. “I wish that everyone wouldn’t mistreat me and let me live my life the way I want to without hate and misconceptions.” Joe soon frowned as Anna grinned. “Gege. That’s a valid point. Honestly speaking here, I might have autism but that never changes my dreams!” Anna said as Joe finally broke a smile. “I’m sorry Gege. I hope you will stick with us and never change who you are!” Gege grinned. ‘Finally, I’m not alone.’
Anastasia Skinners Academy
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The most dangerous girl of all, Is the one who stands up tall. Is the one who makes a difference, The one who has confidence. We can all be that girl in our own way, We just have to wait for that one great day. For us girls it may be a struggle, But it’s just something that we have to juggle. What is lock down, The fact that we stay at home with frown. The fact that we can’t go outside, All because the virus is worldwide. We can’t go anywhere without a shriek, As if we are playing hide and seek. Us girls are brave and strong, Nobody can say we are wrong.
Ayisha Twyford Church of England High School
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letters from the editors
Edith Johnson Co-Founder & Director, Be Her Lead
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Laura katan Teacher at Park View School / Be Her Lead alumna
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Lily Pinto Teacher at Reach Academy / Be Her Lead alumna 43
thank you teachers antonia ventura - camilla stranger - ms chowdhury - emily court - eve richardson - genevieve halpin - grace jenkins - hannah woodham - linnet kaymer - marina williams - nadine bowling - niabh rowland-simms - olivia hanson - olivia manchon sabina lallian - sophie hay - ms tesky
schools bobby moore academy - bolder academy - carlton le willows academy - enfield county school haringey sixth form college - kingsdale foundation school - lea valley academy - park view school - rainham schoolfor girls - reach academy feltham - sacred heart high school saracens high school - sir john cass secondary school - skinners academy - the latymer school - twyford church of england school - villiers high school
+ yasmine rahemtulla for help with design
& finally all the girls in lockdown who contributed to this zine 44
ABOUT BE HER LEAD
Be Her Lead is a non-profit social enterprise that empowers women in teaching to build resilience and raise the aspirations of girls in their schools. We aim to build supportive communities of women in schools to tackle gender inequality at an early stage, and address rising mental health and wellbeing problems among teenage girls.
TACKLING DISADVANTAGE We work with schools serving disadvantaged communities. Since we launched last year, we have run programmes with 135 teachers and 400 students, in 25 schools round the UK.
TRAINING TEACHERS TO SUPPORT GIRLS
"It is the best thing that the school has ever organised to help different girls in different ways and also to show the power that they have to overcome their inner fears." Student Participant
We train up to 5 teachers per school to deliver workshops for a group of up to 20 girls they have selected in key stage 3, 4 or 5. The purpose of the workshops is to build resilience and raise aspirations. We provide teachers with resources covering a range of issues, from strategies to support mental health, to mapping out career goals.
SPARKING INSPIRATION The workshops are complemented by regular opportunities to meet inspiring women in a range of industries, and celebratory events bringing together students and teachers from different schools.
ENSURING IMPACT Be Her Lead is a springboard for sustainable change in school communities; we support teachers to continue running workshops and expanding the programme in their schools.
OUR NETWORK
Alongside our work in schools, we have created an intergenerational network of women interested in gender and education - and this has been our main focus during lockdown. Alongside our weekly virtual coffees, blog and newsletters, this zine is a way of strengthening that network, supporting and connecting girls and female teachers across the UK. To find out more, visit www.beherlead.com or email hello@beherlead.com.
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