A NOVEL IDEA

AMAZING (& Clearly Insane) 1 LIFE HACKS FROM Joe Exotic By Jarrod Thalheimer iger King’s Joe Exotic has lots to teach about life and love…but only when you know how to look. It was bound to happen. When hundreds of millions of people found themselves locked down with little to do other than eat and binge Netflix 24/7, the likelihood that some weird phenomena would take hold was pretty high. That the first, unofficial mascot of the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown turned out to be a self-described “gay, guncarrying redneck with a mullet” simply speaks to the unbelievably bizarre circumstance we find ourselves in. Shockingly, the man born Joseph Schreibvogel actually does have T ALWAYS SHARE PRIVATE MOMENTS IN ABSURDLY PUBLIC SETTINGS From the horrifically inappropriate memories he recounted during Travis Maldonado’s memorial to his routine offer of cash to almost anyone who would “dispose” of his main irritant Baskin, Joe Exotic proves once and for all that having a proper, balanced filter is something worthwhile to share. No, it’s not about personal style (his the key to not having the kind of life he does. In the most hair!), fashion (those clothes!), relationships (seriously?), or even direct way, knowing the difference between what you animal husbandry (good lord, no…). What Joe Exotic has shared about should say in public vs. what is totally off limits not only his life is exactly the sort of things the rest of us should never, ever do. gives you a better shot at keeping your own relationships

Curious? You bet your Carole Baskin tiger-printed leggings you are. together, but it might just keep you out of jail too. 98

2HAVING MULTIPLE SPOUSES (AT THE SAME TIME!) IS THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS It’s one thing to have been married more than once. It’s quite another to have multiple marriages happening at the same time. That all of them seem to depend on endless gifts (often firearms), off-the-hook partying, and copious amounts of 3 OBSESSIONS + REVENGE-SEEKING = SUCCESS While the hatred between Joe Exotic and Carole Baskin possesses an almost Bugs Bunny/Yosemite Sam comedy to it, Joe’s constantly-fanned, sick fantasy of shooting/killing/ chemical enhancement only drives the message blowing up Carole eventually becomes just plain disturbing. home. While I would never question the initial That he filmed so very many skits of him “acting out” such sincerity of the parties involved, ignoring the daisythings is incredible. Did he really not think any of it would

4chain dumpster fire that is Joe Exotic’s relationship come back to haunt him? The saying is “Revenge is a dish track record is impossible. I’m going to go out best served cold.” That means take a long time and do it on a limb and say that polyamorous relationship unexpectedly instead of yapping about it constantly. Joe can commitments made between (apparently) think long and hard on that one while behind bars. confused young guys and an image-obsessed publicity hound is doomed to undeniable–and 5 WHEN THINGS LOOK THEIR WORST, START THE CAMERAS ROLLING Like some twisted, redneck Kardashian, when Joe saw the bills piling up or his relationships crashing down, it only meant one thing: Turn on the ALWAYS SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE MORE DESPERATE AND MESSED UP THAN YOU totally spectacular—failure. cameras! Whether it was announcing that a tiger tore the arm off a staffer Even as the Joe Exotic story plays out, comprehending to crying over arson and BBQ’d crocodiles, Joe Exotic’s main focus was the level of crazy represented by those around him is always getting good footage. He had two TV shows, music videos (which almost impossible. From the parade of dolts he chose to he Milli Vanilli-ed), interviews, film shorts, books, branded condoms, and “marry” or the obvious predator he decided to partner more. While most folks look to put out the fires that burn in their lives, with on the zoo, Joe consistently found people in worse Joe Exotic hunts around for more wood (and even some gasoline) to states than he was. Even his competitors in the field of make them bigger still. It’s a strategy for something. What that something “tiger sales” model the sort of “messed-up moron” that actually is we may never know. seems too far-fetched to be real. Honestly, at times it

6seemed like a competition as to which “Tiger King” character is more intellectually dense, criminal, or simply headed for a medieval-like “reckoning” of some kind. The opposite of this is called “Choosing your friends wisely.” WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, RUN FOR POLITICAL OFFICE In what can only be truly poetic, Joe Exotic managed to confirm the darkest and saddest truth of all: When you have messed up absolutely everything in your own life, it’s time to convince even more people to let you mess up theirs. Joe Exotic ran campaigns for president and then governor (newsflash: he lost). While it’s extremely hard not to tar all politicians with the same brush (really hard!), the fact that Joe’s best solution to his mounting woes was running for office says more about those who often seek to lead us than anyone should want to acknowledge. That Joe was never elected to anything is an under-appreciated gift to us all. 99

A NOVEL IDEA are a Books Balm

When the headlines get too tense, we’re thankful to turn to books. Here are some recommendations that are sure to provide some necessary distraction this summer.

By Barbara Bellesi Zito ASK THE AUTHOR: reporter for the BBC. We asked her how her

HIS AND HERS

ALICE FEENEY

Flatiron Books

British journalist Anna Andrews is assigned to report on a woman’s murder in her hometown of Blackdown. The friend, and Anna soon has a bigger part in the case than just reporter. The detective on the case, Jack Harper, also knows the victim, but keeps that information to himself. Then he becomes a suspect in the very murder he is investigating. As it turns out, Anna and Jack both have stories, and both have secrets. But who has the truth?

ALICE FEENEY

Before Alice Feeney wrote novels, she was a victim turns out to be a childhood

journalistic background and instinct fuels her fiction…

“I think my background as a journalist helps with fast storytelling, editing, and sticking to deadlines. After years of interviewing people, I’m also pretty good at knowing when someone is fibbing. The reason a person lies is almost always more interesting than the lie itself, which might be why I enjoy writing unreliable narrators like Jack and Anna in ‘His & Hers’!”

BRIT BENNETT

Riverhead Books

This is the The Vignes sisters much-anticipated are identical twins. second novel of Bennett, whose They grew up in the same Black community in debut novel, “The the South, but Mothers,” was they are living a bestseller and completely won multiple different lives awards. as adults. One is still in her hometown, raising her daughter. The other moved across the country, married a white man, and is secretly passing for white. Her past hidden, now she has a daughter of her own. What will happen when the twins’ daughters meet? This is a powerful story about family, race, gender—and ultimately identity.

ALL ADULTS HERE THE VANISHING HALF

EMMA STRAUB

Riverhead Books

In addition to Astrid witnesses being a besta school bus selling author, accident that Emma Straub recalls a blocked is co-owner memory from of the beloved decades ago bookstore, when she was a Books Are young mother. Magic, in With three adult Cobble Hill, children who are Brooklyn. now grown, she begins to question how well she raised them. Is it too late to matter? What happens when adults still have growing up to do, and Astrid’s teen grandchild seems more mature than all of them combined? Straub’s much-anticipated new novel approaches life and family with wisdom and humor.

IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME: HOW TO TURN BEING UNDERESTIMATED INTO YOUR GREATEST ADVANTAGE

ARLAN HAMILTON (WITH RACHEL L. NELSON)

Currency

Hamilton was It’s hard to get into the first noncelebrity Black woman to be seen on the the Silicon Valley “boys’ club” as a woman. For Arlan Hamilton, a gay black woman, it was practically cover of Fast impossible. But she did

Company. it. This frank memoir details how Hamilton went from food stamps to breaking through the glass ceiling in the world of venture capital—all without a college degree or an A-list professional network. Whether you need inspiration for your own career or just about anything else you’re aiming for in life, get ready to be inspired by Hamilton.

UNTAMED

GLENNON DOYLE

The Dial Press

If you’ve heard about this memoir, then know this: It’s worth the hype. Activist and author Glennon Doyle is the epitome of what it means to be brave in the search for a happy life. On a book tour to promote her memoir of repairing her marriage after her husband’s Glennon Doyle is betrayal, Doyle met and also the founder fell instantly in love with of Together Rising, an all-female-led philanthropy for people in crisis. retired soccer star Abby Wambach. To live the live she wanted, Doyle turned her back on everything she felt she was expected to be and instead marched forward to be the mother, wife, and human she most wanted to be. This powerful memoir is a poignant yet funny, thought-provoking pageturner—a perfect summer read with substance.

INDIE AUTHOR Spotlight

“It’s very real, and it exists whether we believe it or not,” says Mary Petto. She’s referring to the Law of Attraction, the power fueled by gratitude and positive thinking that allows us to achieve anything we set our minds to. “It’s like gravity,” she explains. “You can’t see it, but it’s real.”

In her book, “The Family Guide to the Law of Attraction,” she provides a manual to get family (and friends) on literally the same page about achieving their wildest dreams and desires. Who better to support each other than the people you love?

In light of all that has gone on this year, Petto’s book is a breath of fresh air. Read it and share it with your favorite people—and get ready for something truly incredible to happen in all of your lives.

Are You in a Book Slump?

Having trouble getting into a book? You might be in a book slump. If you are, you have permission to move on to a new one. Whether you feel distracted by the news of the world or you simply aren’t into the plot or characters, put the book down. Then pick up another. Do it again if you must. Just. Keep. Reading. Life is too short to read books that don’t move us. You’ll find something that hooks you again soon—perhaps on these very pages!

Hollywood Page-Turners

The reboot of “Emma,” starring the glorious Anya Taylor-Joy, would have likely made a splash at the box office. But due to the pandemic, it went straight to streaming. If you love Jane Austen—or heck, if you loved “Clueless” and want to see this remake of the source material—be sure to watch.