HOROSCOPES

A BELLA Future

LIES AHEAD…

By Vanessa Coppes

rom the time I picked up my first magazine, I remember diving into horoscopes and being fascinated by what my life could potentially look like—if I just listened to the astrology gods. But growing up Catholic, astrology was frowned upon.

It wasn’t until I started watching TV astrologer Walter Mercado religiously that I begun to take the advice with a grain of salt. Instead, I decided I would consider these spiritual nuggets of wisdom, because for Walter, his readings came from God and were rooted in love. I rolled with that! After watching the Netflix documentary on him, I met with the BELLA team to see how we felt about integrating horoscopes into the issue. It was a resounding YES (more like YAAASSS!).

So here we are—our first edition of BELLA Horoscopes, a forecast for the remaining part of 2020 with some info as adapted from Yearly-Horoscope.org/2020- horoscopes.

According to the site, 2020 will be a year when all the zodiac signs will be able to take advantage of a new beginning, both in their personal lives and financially. With the year we’ve had thus far, I think we could all get on board with that!

While some of us will focus on fun, amusement, pleasure, and hobbies, others will use their creativity, ambition, and confidence to begin personal and/or more extensive projects. ARIES This year will end as one full of personal and professional success. You’ll find yourself being more active and goaloriented. Any residual feelings of being mired down and stuck will clear quickly. You will experience an increase in pure energy. You can expect the opportunity to create something new and wonderful. Would you like to launch a small business, organize an event, or succeed in a competition? Perhaps you would like to write a book? All these things are possible and easier to achieve than ever! LIBRA Personal growth and inner understanding will make powerful changes in your life. Focus more on your desires and beautiful hobbies. With a new vision about things and life in general, 2020 is the year of relationships for Libras. And when we say relationships, we refer to all kinds of relationships: professional, friendship, family, love, amity, collaboration, etc. TAURUS This time period will be a building year for you. Where you apply your efforts, they will bring solid and visible effects into your life. Taurus people are typically very rational. In every second of life, you will focus on working hard to obtain the desired well-being and standard of living you desire. SCORPIO There will be major growth for the remainder of the year. Much of what you reap in the way of rewards comes from efforts made in the past. Scorpios will achieve wonderful things if this is what they desire. Chances of enrichment will occur from somewhere they never thought possible. GEMINI You will soon be coming into a solid building period of your life. Use the remaining influence to dig into what you really hope to accomplish. Pay attention to learning how to bring your deepest inner dreams into a solid and viable source outside yourself.

SAGITTARIUS It appears you have had many changes in your life. You get a chance to rework both how you present yourself to the world, as well as what you present to the world. This year will end with prosperity, fortune, and success. You will find happiness in small things, and you will come to understand how little you require to feel like the luckiest people on earth. CANCER You will be quite lucky in 2020. Even though they don’t generally believe in luck, and money and fortune are not that important for Cancer, 2020 will be a prosperous period. It is a time when Cancers should read, write, sign up for newspapers and magazines, learn to drive, study a foreign language, start a class about something that attracts them, or make a study trip. The efforts made in these directions will be great because it refers to some habits that need to be changed, whether it is about work delegation, changing the workplace for greater satisfaction, or taking care of physical, emotional, and mental health.

CAPRICORN You have put your mind into full focus and created the world in which you have longed to live. The remaining part of this year will be extraordinary in all the aspects of lives. Keep watch for a year-end full of material and emotional well-being. LEO The stars and the chances seem to keep smiling in 2020. The warning, however, is real because they tend to exaggerate with regard to money and spending. No matter how favorable this perspective seems, it is recommended you act cautiously, levelheaded, and without haste. AQUARIUS With all the energy in your sign, the rest of the year promises to be more energized. This year is a year of changes for the better. You will find peace, harmony, and happiness. Although you are usually a wanderer, you don’t like to cling to people or places for a long time, and you don’t take roots easily. This year you will go through some significant changes that will take you out of your comfort zone. VIRGO As an Earth sign governed by Mercury, this one is the symbol of change. You will continue to debut with amazing momentum in the business domain, and especially in important personal acquisitions. It can be about a house, an inheritance, or a very important gain that Virgos have been waiting for a long time. PISCES The abundance available to you for the remaining part of this year is found within the relationship you can form with yourself. You will have a tremendous fortune in love, although you won’t realize it in the beginning. Love will arrive in the most unusual form—if it hasn’t already.

VIRTUAL DATING THE UNEXPECTED Benefits

By Ilsy J. Hoo

If you’d told me in January of 2020 that you had to get off our business Zoom call to get ready for your virtual date or dating event, I would have given you the side eye. With the pandemic, however, our lives have changed how we communicate with family, friends, and business colleagues. And for singles stuck inside and not willing to put their dating lives completely on hold, Zoom, FaceTime, and the like sit atop a very short list of options.

Since human interactions play an important role in our mental health, virtual dating has been a lifesaver for many. Not yet convinced? Well, get ready because I’m going to tell you all the unexpected benefits of virtual dating.

IT’S A GREAT ONLINE DATING SITES ARE Getting Creative SCREENING TOOL According to Susan Hum, co-founder and “Success & Love According to Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, vol. 34, 8, men pandemic is gone, people will be busier than ever and will benefit lie more about their height and women lied more about their weight. from the convenience of clicking to connect with others. Overall, participants reported being the least accurate about their Coach” at LoveInSync, online dating is here to stay. Even after the photographs and the most accurate about their relationship information. What sets LoveInSync apart, she explains, is that the app is focused on dating and personal development. “People know In the first few minutes of a virtual date, you what they want, but they don’t are able to see if a potential partner’s real persona matches all those profile pictures. It also gives you a sneak peek into their living environment. Are there dirty clothes on the floor? Does she have 10 cats roaming Need some help? HERE ARE FIVE FUN know what they need; that’s why we focus on personal development. When our users are in the right mindset they can then pursue others online,” the couch? (Unless you’re OK with that, of course.) Does he have small children in CONVERSATION STARTERS: Susan explains. the background calling him Daddy but his profile says he doesn’t have children? After the screening process, you can then decide if that someone will be put on the Meet-in-Person-When-It’s-Safe list—or if you should end the process now. IT’S EASIER TO SCHEDULE According to Christine, a forty-something business development director who lives in New York City, it is much easier to coordinate virtual dates since she’s been working from home due to the pandemic. “In the past, it was so difficult to schedule What were you like as a child? What’s your “superpower?” If you were to pick a different career, what would it be? What’s something you’re most proud of? 2 3 4 5 Once we can travel again, where would be the first place you’d like to visit? 1 LoveInSync created a dating game show called “Real Role Play,” which was inspired by a concept created by Sean Callagy of Unblinded Movement, which is based on integrity-based human influence. It helps people influence others in a way that’s comfortable and genuine. Members of the app have an opportunity to be on the show and answer a series of questions in which thousands of singles can watch. It’s a fun new way to get to know someone in the virtual “Dating Game.” Here/Now (formerly known as Perchance) has been hosting virtual dating mixers in which a dates during the week due to heavy work curated group of 10 singles log travels. I was just happy with having at least one date during the weekend,” she explains. “Now that I’m home all the time, I’ve been Try to avoid topics like religion, politics, and any sensitive topics that may turn your first onto Zoom at a set time and are given questions to answer for all to hear. Then the daters scheduling at least three to four virtual dates date into a debate. You want to keep the are paired into mini Zoom during the week.” conversation lighthearted and fun. rooms and are timed. Speed dating has been a favorite for Another benefit is that if you’re not feeling singles for many years, but your date, you can just click “Leave Meeting.” No longer since COVID-19 they had to pivot their platform in order to are you obligated to stay on a date because he’s paying for keep their users engaged. Eventbrite, the online events app, has your meal or drinks. reported a 1000% increase in online events in April with “speed dating” becoming the new trending search term. IT CAN ENHANCE YOUR Overall, this type of dating has given singles a different COMMUNICATION opportunity that requires them to spend more time getting to know each other on a deeper level before jumping into sexual relations. It’s been refreshing for those truly looking to find For some, the words “first date” are cringe-worthy, but since being in your own space can make you feel more comfortable, virutal dating allows love, and many believe it will thrive long past the COVID-19 pandemic. you to be more at ease and open about who you are. This can lead to interesting conversations without the stress of awkward silences as you try to settle into each other’s vibe. If you been nervous or shy to try online dating, it may be time to give it a go. You may be pleasantly surprised at the unexpected benefits!

the love files | love trials

ME & YOU +WHO? What Happens When Your Friendships Start to Affect Your Relationship

By Jarrod Thalheimer

aving friends is always worth the hassle. Any network, large or small, featuring strong, supportive friendships is integral to a fulfilling and happy life. Friends help us through the good times and the bad. They protect and support us, sometimes when no H one else will. Often, they are the very ones lighting the way toward the kind of deep, lasting connections we seek to define our lives more fully.

But what happens when they don’t? What happens when those we count as friends actually start to hurt our deeply held relationships? Think it can’t happen? Think again.

THE EX-LOVER Best Friend

We’ve all had them—the ex who didn’t work out romantically but somehow clicked perfectly as a best friend. Just like Jerry and Elaine from “Seinfeld,” right? Your shared friendship is perfectly ordered and totally separate from the intricacies of your day-to-day love life. At least, until it isn’t.

We like to think that ex-lovers can be friends, but let’s get real—most relationships end because one party just couldn’t see themselves going further. Too often, the other holds a candle, “lying low” as they wait for “another shot.” That can spell trouble for your new relationship.

Take a close look at your ex-lover. Are there any residual feelings or long-shot thoughts of “What if?” If so, you need to break things off ASAP, both for your protection and theirs. Will it be hard? Absolutely. Is it necessary? Without a doubt.

THE PERMANENT Third Wheel

It’s almost always pitched as a pity situation… “He’s just such a great guy–I can’t understand why he can’t find love... let’s take him to dinner with us.” What kind of monster says “no” to helping out a buddy? Thing is, when said buddy goes on to become the permanent third wheel of your relationship, you’re adding a layer of difficulty no one needs. And it rarely stops there. Shared dinners become shared vacations, which become shared apartments and then shared mortgages and….well, you get the picture.

Bonus points for a partner who cares enough to help a friend, but if you sense even a whiff of this becoming a semipermanent addition to your union, you’ve got to nip it in the bud—and fast!

It’s one thing to pull up an extra chair for a meal or two, and quite another requiring any house you buy to have a guest suite built in.

ONE OF the Family

You knew him well. He was just so perfectly…nice. And everyone loved him—your friends, family, even your parents. Problem was, things just never really sparked between you two. You broke it off but he continued to keep touch with all your She was there the night you met…and she of Facebook. Once upon a time, past loves or

friends and family. And your parents! He even visits them from time to time, long who tagged me!” Suddenly a girl who wouldn’t

after you’ve both stopped dating.

Obviously, this kind of rolling faux pas leads to the kind of butt-puckering bliss you experience when your mom or dad encourages you to “give him another chance” right in front of the new guy you’re dating. You need to pull your parents and your friends off to one side and give ‘em the 411: “He’s not with me, which means he’s no

Yes, you may be called heartless and cruel, but you will also have a real shot at securing a relationship with someonw who actually interests you. If you family can’t understand that, you’ve got bigger problems.

THE Co-worker

THE BESTIE Critic

hated him just as much then as she still does today. The move is always the same: She smiles to his face, even as you all make awkward conversation. Then, as soon as he leaves, she lays into him directly to you. “He never treats you right” or “He’s just not good enough for you.” That’s fine in the early stages, when you’re still unsure and need some pumping up, but when you’ve made your choice and want to pursue a relationship, having that kind of venom mainlining into your skull on a daily basis isn’t helpful at all.

Your BFF might mean well, but if you don’t put an end to all the behind-the-scenes hatred, it will begin to affect your new relationship. Encourage her to ease off on the criticism at least, and maybe find some positives. If she just can’t, then a choice will have to be made. It’s not easy…but no one said relationships were for the faint of heart.

THE HIGH SCHOOL Crush

This one comes almost completely courtesy crushes simply faded into the ether of hazy memories. Now, they get a second life as a Facebook friend.

It always starts innocently enough. “Hey, look longer with you.”

give him a second look in the fifth grade is sharing memes about the “old days” at school. And wouldn’t you know it, she is also recently divorced!

Social media is a tricky one. Keep your eye on messages shared but call an audible if you have to. If things are getting too darn cozy, then you need to cut it off quick. Incursions into your love life—digital or not—need to be met with swift and firm resistance. If this were happening in a bar, you wouldn’t stand for it. You don’t have to on Facebook either.

Never underestimate the power of time spent together. You might have your better half from evenings until morning (plus weekends), but her co-worker is seeing her (at her best) from 9-5pm every day. They share office space, meals, setbacks, and triumphs. They fight corporate villains, overcome demanding bosses, and even share inside jokes with one another. That’s powerful stuff.

Sure, she says they’re “just friends,” and they likely are. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t chances for something more. Play it carefully. Get to know her “office buddy,” and make it clear you are very much “in the picture.” If there is going to be a third wheel in this set-up, it better not be you.