spring 2015 | issue #1
TABLE OF CONTENTS letter from the editor
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fashion & beauty
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features
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the nations
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finances
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lifestyle
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health
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inspiration
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fitness
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dinner party
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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR There is a certain look some people exhibit when you tell them you are pursuing a dream of yours or making a daring life change. It’s like there are loud tornado sirens resonating throughout the walls of their mind, but they simply smile and say “Oh, wow.” Then there are the greatest people you will ever meet – the ones that when you drop your life bomb on them, their eyes grow wide and they can’t help but grin. Their head starts bobbing up and down at a cadence that is just a bit too fast, and they say “mmhmm” a lot. And when you’re finally done telling them the whole idea, they act like a Golden Retriever puppy, that has been crated for the first time, practically peeing because they can finally love their people again. Once they can talk, their encouraging words are the Neosporin to the previous person’s reaction. They offer any kind of support they can, and encourage you to do what is bold and go towards the thing that is aflame inside of you.
neurs and small business leaders to professional photographers, educated editors, beautiful designers, visionaries, writers, bloggers, mentors, and videographers. Now there are 50 strong and amazing women that have come together to fortify the walls of Beloved. Our first issue came out of a place of transition that was both terrify and exhilarating. We pioneered our way into the vast unknown. The theme of this issue is “Dynamic”, which Google says is “the forces or properties that stimulate growth, development, or change within a system or process.” As you begin to read, you will see there is a single golden thread: brave change. We have done a bold thing here, and there has been a change in each of our hearts. It’s a refusal to let the standard be our “normal” and instead a choice of hope and perseverance to the challenging, yet beautiful life we fight for. It’s not easy, and that is why a lot of people don’t do it, but I sincerely hope that after you read this, you will know it’s worth it. It is always worth it. And as we have learned, the fight makes you better. So Beloved readers (eh, see what I did there?), be dynamic. Don’t choose the easy way out, and when you start to lose hope – open up these pages and wander inside of them, because we are with you and we are for you.
Now imagine that response on a community wide level. Beloved Magazine began out of around 200 conversations where I experienced a Golden Retriever degree of love and support. I stopped wanting to whisper every time I (usually accidently) started to tell someone about my idea. I stopped being so coy and ashamed of my dreams, and really believed people when they told me how cool it was and that I could do this thing. Even better than that, were the people who wanted to join the Beloved Team. Almost everyone on the team came out of these amazing conversations. The funny thing is, it just so happened that all these people had the exact skills to make this dream a reality – from entrepre-
I never know how to sign off, Lark Reely
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FASHION & BEAUTY
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FASHION
When it comes to personal style, I am a true believer in “anything goes.” I love a closet full of bold, standout pieces as well as basics for mixing and matching. While shopping, I am drawn to two different styles—boho and preppy. Flowy silhouettes, earth tones, soft florals, and all things gold are some favorite style elements of mine. While the bohemian feel is my natural go-to, I unashamedly love a good stripe and a fun, preppy sneaker paired with any and all things navy.
with the shoes and pick my clothes from there. Some days I wake up and hate everything in my closet, but that’s why I love having my goto’s. Other days, getting dressed feels like a fun opportunity to create something new! If you feel good in it, that is all that matters! Dress well for you! Everyday is a chance to be the best version of you and if you can wear something that makes you feel powerful, confident and comfortable, why not go for it?!
Both my mood and my day’s activities influence my outfit decisions in the morning. I often start
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FASHION
For me, there is something truly nostalgic about the feeling of 100% cotton, well-worn anything. Typically, I gravitate toward classic and simple designs and solid natural tones. When I develop a strong attachment to a piece of clothing, it’s inevitable that I find myself purchasing that same piece in multiple colors. Although I have invested in developing a curated collection of basic essentials, it’s important for me to have a few unique pieces to accentuate these basics in order to embody my own personal style. Currently, I’m devoted to the most comfortable kimono-style jacket that has the versatility to
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provide structure to any outfit (photographed). I find a lot of inspiration in the aesthetic of Jane Birkin, specifically from the late 1960s and early 1970s. Her style exudes a classic and effortless elegance that I embrace in daily living.
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FEATURES
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COFFEE SHOP LOW DOWN your guide to discovering the coffee shop that meets your taste
COFFEE SLINGERS
Oklahoma City, OK 1015 N Broadway Ave An Oklahoma City staple, Slingers is located in Automobile Alley and allows customers to have a “behind the scenes” experience with an open view of the bar and the roastery. Menu: Coffee Slingers sources and roasts their own coffee in house and offers a handful of baked goods.
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CRIMSON AND WHIPPED CREAM
ELEMENTAL COFFEE ROASTERS
Norman, OK 331 White St
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma 815 North Hudson Ave
More commonly known as “Crimson,” this coffee shop is conveniently located on Campus Corner, making it a favorite spot for students between classes. Crimson is perfect for a date, catching up with friends, or alone time to do homework or read a book. You can even take photo booth pictures and post them on the wall.
Elemental offers a clean design and an airy environment. Customers are welcome to sit at the bar and visit with a barista or make a workspace at the communal tables. Menu: Elemental roasts their own coffee and espresso in house, and is featured in a number of coffee shops in the OKC Metro area. Elemental has also recently expanded their café and now offers an array of breakfast and lunch options.
Menu: They serve specialty coffee from Elemental Coffee Roasters in Oklahoma City and a variety of baked treats ranging from cupcakes and homemade granola bars to nobake cookies and oatmeal cream pies.
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TIPS TO REST AND TO FINDING YOURSELF IN STILLNESS written by sarah niemitalo and mackie taylor Our lives are riddled with chaos and things that fight for our attention. Often they leave us feeling empty and exhausted. Being well rested is secret sauce to living a full, balanced, and peaceful live. Rest is crucial because it affects your body, mind, and spirit. Here are some helpful tips to master the art. • • • • • •
Get more sleep! It might seem impossible to get the full eight hours, but getting at least one more hour of sleep a night will leave your body thanking you. Take a rest day once a week. Not everyone gets this luxury, but try once a week to rest your body and mind. Do only things that you love. Be Still. Spend time each day in quiet. Turn off distractions. Sit and be. Think about you and the world. Enjoy your meals. Sit down and take your time to fuel up. Meals can be moments of peace three times of day. Slow down. Do everything at a slower pace. Take things out of your schedule. Don’t overload your plate. Leave yourself room to breathe. TREAT YO SELF! Do something that builds you up. Spoil yourself a little. Buy the shirt you have been longing for. Take yourself on date. Buy a yummy desert.
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CREATIVE WAYS TO BE CREATIVE BY SARAH NIEMITALO AND MACKIE TAYLOR creative [kree-ay-tiv] (adj): having the quality or power of creating
Think you’re not creative? Think again. It’s inherent in your human-ness; it’s part of who you are. You are born with the ability to create. Here are some simple ways to spark imagination and draw yourself into your own creativity. Journaling is not only for novelists. It’s not just for the emotional or sentimental, not just for born writers, not just for other people. You don’t have to start with “dear diary…” and don’t have to write about your feelings. Keeping a journal can be as simple as you want it to be… writing down quotes or memories, making lists, recording your observations, writing down your prayers or the things you are thankful for are all ways to release creativity. And having these things recorded in your own personal records for later discovery is never a bad thing. Keeping some sort of journal is a way to see where you have been and the ways things change over the days and months. It’s like taking a photograph of the inside of your mind. A Haiku a Day: Writing a haiku Is fun and also easy You can start today A haiku is a short poem of sorts that is based entirely around the syntactic structure of the lines. The first line is five syllables, followed by a second line of seven syllables, followed by a final line of five syllables again. An easy way to get words on paper while also stretching your mind and challenging yourself a bit. 20
Watercolors… We Know You Know How. Simple and fun, and easy to look like you know what you’re doing. It requires minimal supplies and can be done on any scraps laying around our house. And let’s be honest… it’s hard to be intimidated by art supplies you had used as an elementary schooler. Listen to Music without any distractions. It’s rare for most people to take the time to focus on what they are hearing - to not only use music as background noise but to actually pay attention to the words, the movements, and the instruments. You might find that you have been missing something life changing. Simplify. Create space for yourself. Chances are if you are giving yourself physical space to move and live, your brain will follow and will become more free as you become less crowded. This can be in the form of tidying your room, making your bed, leaving the windows open for some fresh air, giving away the clothes and shoes you haven’t worn in the last half of a year… Freeing yourself of things is always always a good thing.
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*artwork by Roshni Robert
MUSIC WE’RE LISTENING TO...
Alabama Shakes Sound and Color Released: April 21, 2015
Josh Garrels Home Released: Apr 07, 2015
Sufjan Stevens Carrie & Lowell Released: March 31, 2015
Why We Like It: Sound and Color is everything you loved about Alabama Shakes debut album and more. Every song is engaging and interesting, each with a feel of it’s own. This is definitely an album that will get you pumped up to get stuff done.
Why We Like it: Home is an album that will fit any mood you are in. It is lyrically deep and poetic, but also easy to listen to. It’s a great album to put on when you want to take a breather in the middle of a stressful day, or jam out to with your windows down.
Why We Like It: Carrie & Lowell is perhaps the most emotionally complex, honest and vulnerable Sufjan Stevens album to date. Written in the wake of his mother’s death, Sufjan carries his listeners through his thoughts of her passing with a sense of beauty and calm. Most similar in style to his Seven Swans album, this record is one that is sure to captivate.
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THE NATIONS
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KEEPING UP WITH THE NATIONS IS IMPORTANT. - Lilli Kiehl
Keeping up with the nations is important. Of course, someone writing an article about the nations would say that. Hopefully by the end of this article you will agree that it is imperative to keep up with all nations around the world, and not just the Kardashians. I get it; the world can be a bit overwhelming sometime. Do not let that stop you from venturing out and getting your toes wet. As my dear friend Albus Dumbledore said, “Fear of a name increases fear of a thing itself.” [Yes, it is Hermione that says it in the movie, but I’m a book gal myself]. I challenge you to drive out fear with knowledge. There are too many things in this world that can lead to anxiety, as a college student I get that; do not let this be added to the list. Whether you have an adventurous spirit or are a homebody, I hope that you feel spurred on to experiencing more of what you do not know or understand. Traveling has brought me into contact with some of the most 28
generous, caring, wise, and loving people I know. Whether it is on a trip to Europe, or in your hometown, be brave and venture out of your comfort zone. I guarantee you it will be a wonderful experience. Along those same lines, increasing cultural awareness and understanding lessens assumed prejudices. As people, it is easy to fear what we do not understand, so why not try and understand? I once spent a semester abroad in the south of Spain, in Seville. Soon after arriving I learned about a cultural group of people called “Gitanos” or Gypsies. Many people had prejudices against the Gitanos. After time in Spain, I started to address those assumed prejudices and break them down. The Gitanos have a beautiful spirit of unity woven throughout their culture. They express much of who they are by singing and dancing to flamenco, which I attempted to learn.
*photo taken at Sara Kate Studios
After spending time learning about them as people rather than a faceless group, it was much easier to drop those assumed prejudices. Finally, it is important to realize that we are not the only people in the world, but rather we all play a part in it. America is egocentric whether by choice or not. Realistically we are a thriving economy that doesn’t share a lot of borders, I get that. However that does not mean that there isn’t so much going on it this great, big world outside of the United States that is not relevant to us. Although I love reading US Weekly when getting my nails done (sorry a girl has to splurge), that captures a fraction of the news out there. So I want to empower you to seek out those great stories from all over the world. There are stories of wonder and joy, stories of heartbreak and hard times, even stories about bizarre happenings (like people that walk cabbages I kid you not). The world is
big, but it does not have to inspire anxiety; rather it can inspire wonder and adventure. Best of all, when you set out to have a better understanding of others, you end up finding a better understanding of yourself. So, my encouragement to you is to seek knowledge, find understanding, and gain passion.
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Q&A with mentor Ryane Willis How do you realistically stay informed without getting overwhelmed in such an anxiety filled environment as the news? Watching the news is like eating cookies for dinner, I need something more substantial. I can’t understand the reality of a world event in a 30 second clip. So I find what I’m interested in and fish around on the New York Times and start to digest it. Reading the news can be a peaceful experience. You get to input the information line by line and think through the issue. Sometime between watching Blood Diamond and Hotel Rwanda for the first time, I decided that I was too affected by visual media and if I kept watching the news then I would adopt quite a depressed attitude about the world. So I like to stay informed and biased towards the positive, if possible.
Is there anything that directly benefits me from reading the news? I always think about the issues of my parent’s generation. I wonder where my mom was during the Civil Rights Movement or where my dad was during the war protests of Vietnam. I like to wonder what they were thinking and if they were involved. I think one day my children will ask me about my thoughts on the Arab Spring, if I helped clean up the May 20th Moore Tornado, or where I was when Obama was elected president. Let’s just say I don’t plan on having lame answers to those questions. I believe that people are born in a certain generation for a reason and that we have a responsibility to be an active participant in the global community.
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*photo taken at Sara Kate Studios
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BE INSPIRED
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*photo taken at Sara Kate Studios
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FINANCES
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“Like a two year old, my money was MINE.” A few summers ago, I was sitting in with my best friend’s mom, drinking a glass of strawberry wine (is there anything better?), and I asked her point blank: “How did you do it?”
by Chloe Prochaska
always taught them one thing: if you have it, you should be giving it away.” This struck a cord with me. I was expecting her to give me some kind of budgeting plan or prayer against consumerism. This concept was something I had never considered: giving away what I had. I couldn’t respond. There were no words. I wanted to hug her and cry, because I felt like suddenly, it all made sense. I also wanted to scream for a second, “Chloe, YOU IDIOT. How did you not know this?” I had been living in financial bondage, stress, and fear because of my attitude towards finances. I made my own money. I was in charge of my spending. Like a two year old, my money was MINE. And I felt justified in this ownership. After all, I had earned it. But suddenly, the wisest woman I knew was encouraging me to give my money away.
She smiled at me slowly with a little confusion, “How did I do what, dear?” (yes, this is a woman who sincerely calls people her dears). I wanted to know how she had raised an incredibly humble family despite their financial prosperity. How had they managed to keep wealth from controlling their lives? I shifted myself a little closer and asked the more specific question I had deep in my heart, “How did you raise such a modest family? How did you turn out so great..so humble…so disconnected from…the things that other people think are important?”
If you have it, you should be giving it away. If you have it, you should be giving it away.
It was one of those, *asking for a friend* moments, because in reality, I was the “other people.” I was caught up in my finances. Always worrying that there would never be enough. Always wanting more. But when I came here, the dynamic was completely different. I didn’t understand how a family that lived with so much financial freedom could be so humble. Why did they seem so indifferent to material things? Why was money not a topic at the table?
In a moment, my perspective changed. I knew the first thing I needed to do was start tithing at my church. Tithing was always something that I assumed didn’t apply to me because I still felt like child. I also started a budget for myself. I split up my paychecks and allotted different percentages to different expenses. Well, I have to eat. I have to pay rent. So what am I doing with the rest?
My question didn’t phase her at all. Instead, she was excited to answer. It felt like a secret she was dying to share. “Ever since the girls were little, we
For the first time in my life, I realized that there was freedom within boundaries. When I set goals for myself, I got excited when I achieved them. 37
Suddenly, going to the grocery store wasn’t stressful anymore. I didn’t leave angry because I set a goal, and stayed within the boundaries. I can only spend $50. So what happens when the cashier tells me my total is $51.02? I put back the cheese cubes (they make my breath stink anyway). And now, that’s $1.02 that can be attributed to another more important portion of my budget (like buying coffee for a friend). If I have it, I should be giving it away. Discipline in one area always leads to discipline in other areas. And maybe you’re sitting here saying, I don’t have it. So I cant give it away. That’s how I felt at first, too. But giving became apart of my budget. And now, I feel as though I’ve never been richer.
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Q&A with mentor Becky Rice What would you suggest to someone making a budget or retrying a budget? What are some decent expectations? First step, see what you normally spend in a month. That will give you a good starting point for making your initial budget. Just know it’s going to take a few months to find the budget that works for you, especially if you’re just starting out. That’s okay. You have plenty of years to work out the kinks. So start with little, achievable goals.
Does it actually matter if we start budgeting now? The habits you create now will be the foundations you build on in the future. You can always start a budget at any time... but you will thank yourself later (with high fives and dance parties) if you do in now.
How do you stay motivated to budget? Ha! Treats, or ‘long term vision” to say it with more sophistication. I mostly dream of traveling, but there’s some sort of a retirement plan in there as well. It’s not easy but it’s easier for me to stay on my grocery budget if it means I’ll get to travel sooner than planned.
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LIFESTYLE
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“But we are not meant to live in the woods.” -a message from Kelsi Burdick
The year 2014 held the worst day and best day of my life – in less than two months of each other. In July 2014, a drunk driver killed one of my best friends. Exactly 46 days later, my boyfriend got down on his knee and popped the question. To say these past few months have been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. When I mourn my friend, I feel guilty that I am not happy for my pending marriage. When I’m excited about a future with my fiancé, I feel guilty that I’m not mourning my dear friend. I am stuck in a brutal, emotional, and infinite cycle, but you would never know it. You would never actually know how I feel, because I’m a “bride-to-be,” and we’re supposed to have everything together. My Facebook and Instagram are filled with pictures from the proposal, engagement parties, and showers. We look happy, we are happy, but there’s so much more beneath the surface.
why am I still holding on so hard? Jesus says that He makes me adequate. He offers me fearlessness. He gives me community. He says I’m ready. Deep down, I know these things to be true. I know that Jesus will prepare and heal me if I let Him, but it’s so hard to surrender. If I let go… if I get out of this emotional vortex, then it’s as if I’m letting go of my friend. It would require me to accept her death, which is terrifying. I’m not ready to let her go. It’s like I’m wandering through a forest with a map that I won’t open. I’m lost and desperate to find my way, but I won’t look at the map. I’ve taken comfort in the woods. It’s easier to reside in the wilderness than to admit I’m lost and confused. It’s so easy to find comfort in the woods. It’s so easy to use the woods to run from Jesus. But we are not meant to live in the woods. We are not meant to live alone. We are not meant to live scared. It takes time to fully accept and believe this idea, and I’m not there yet. But, hey, the first step is admission, right? It’s time to let go. It’s time to start fighting my way out of the woods. It’s time to open the map.
I’m hurting. I feel scared, alone, inadequate, and unprepared for the life ahead of me. I don’t believe I’ll be a good wife. I’m still carrying so much grief and baggage from the accident that it clouds my relationship with my fiancé. I am stone, and I won’t let anyone in. I know in the pit of my belly that Jesus would not want me to live this way. He would want me to be free of this pain. He would want me to let go. And, from past experience, I know He’s right. I know letting go would be so much better. So 43
Q&A with mentor Meg Doke When we are faced with both the highs and lows of life, In the case of death, how do move along with our lives sometimes simultaneously, how do we find stability and without forgetting that person? be present in the midst of it? First I believe it’s healthy and helpful to acknowledge and validate the present, be it a high or low. We need to relish in the highs and take in each moment, and to be present and malleable in the lows. And when faced with the reality of having high highs and at the same hand, low lows, we need to adjust, self-reflect and evaluate. “What is success in this season? What adjustments do I need to make? Where can my calendar give? What can be let go or what needs to be added?” Find your center, be transparent with others, and bring them along in the process of moving forward. Always be quick and willing to return to the drawing board and change things up and allow yourself the grace and space to breathe.
When you lose someone you love, the piece I found to be so difficult was one month after the funeral. The flowers quit coming, family fly back home, meals stop, and life for everyone around you resumes as normal yet you’re left with this huge void. Some days you put one foot in front of the other and you just go through the motions. The goal being simply to keep it together. Don’t bicker with your friends, don’t get fired, and don’t eat half of a chocolate cake. Other days you’ll take ground. You’ll heal. One of the ways you’ll do that is the honor and remembrance of the life you lost. Talk about them, when you’re ready, put some pictures out of them. Tell stories and repeat their phrases and corny jokes. Do and say the things that trigger the joy and the love you feel about them. Move forward but carry them alongside you.
How do we honestly and truly include people in such an emotional and up and down process? Bringing others along in the process is crucial. It’s a vital piece to the journey of not just surviving but thriving. Look around your circle of influence and choose a select few. Let them in deep. Don’t edit or polish the truth. Clearly communicate your expectations and needs, if you’re in a place you can articulate them. Be ready to be known and receive the insight and wisdom from eyes of those outside the process even if it’s a mountain top or a valley. Two hands are better than one, always. 44
*photo taken at Sara Kate Studios
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FINDING BALANCE IN BEING VULNERABLE by Hunter Folsom
All of a sudden, life was not so simple or carefree. That’s how I remember – or, don’t remember – my transition from childhood to teenage years. I had worries, stressful tasks, tough moments, and I didn’t want to face reality so I denied it. Why couldn’t life continue to be a day at the pool with Mom? A night of candy and movies with your best friends? I suddenly had responsibilities and stress about the grades I received, the body I was suddenly insecure about, and the future of college. I didn’t want to talk about it because I didn’t think anyone could relate to my problems, but more than that, I didn’t want to face the reality that I was no longer childlike – carefree, faithful, problem-less. Throughout high school I continued to bottle up my problems. Every few months, my head felt like it was going to explode with all the hurtful debris I was holding in. Then out it would pour, usually into my mother’s lap. Though I shared all my emotions with my mother, I still hid my heart from my friends and my community. I loved my friends but I believed the risk of pain was too high to be vulnerable with them. This fear was a result of the fact that I hadn’t yet established in who I was or what I believed. I didn’t know that I could unapologetically be myself because I didn’t truly understand myself yet. Upon entering college, I gained some understanding of who I was. With this confidence, I believed that karma was real -- if I’m kind and share my heart with others, then they’ll be kind to me, right? Wrong. My naïveté allowed me to learn the deep issues of this broken world, the fragility of my heart, and the power of vulnerability – both its good power and its bad power. In this life, some people won’t be kind to you just because you are
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“ It is for a friend who loves you unconditionally with a love that acknowledges the broken parts of us and sees the beauty within.”. ”
kind to them. People will inevitably disagree with what you believe, who you spend time with and the list goes on. At the beginning of college, I didn’t recognize the difference between loving others and placing all my hope in others. As some of my friends drifted away, I felt like I was left in the dust, alone. I was emotionally drained and then I saw something was wrong with the way I handled relationships. This level of openness is something sacred, something we save for the few people who are closest to us –maybe it’s your sister, maybe it’s your roommates. It is not for everyone. It is for a deep friendship so that you are able to continually spur each other on towards what is good and encourage one another through the difficult times. It is for a friend who loves you unconditionally with a love that acknowledges the broken parts of us and sees the beauty within. Without vulnerability, we cannot be fully known, and thus, cannot be fully loved. Living a balanced, vulnerable life will provide a joy and love that you have never experienced before.
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HEALTH
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“Little did I know, I wasn’t just losing the weight, but I was losing myself.” written by Kathryn Collins
When you look into the mirror, what do you see? No really, what is it that catches your attention? To be honest, at most times I will do just about anything to avoid looking into the mirror. Being a woman isn’t easy, especially in the critical world where we live. Look around you. Everywhere you turn there is a new diet fad, a celebrity on the cover of a magazine, or tips on the most effective exercise routines to burn the maximum calories. The pressure is on. if you pay attention to it long enough, your mind can be tricked into believing that you are not good enough. When I graduated college in 2012 and began my transition into the “real world”, I landed a job in my hometown: Dallas, Texas. In just a matter of weeks, my life was consumed with the stress of my new job. I found myself working 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, and rapidly losing any sense of control for my own life. At this time, I turned to the gym as an outlet. It was my stress relief from all of the pressure and chaos I was feeling internally. Exercising became an avenue for me to decompress and unwind. What I didn’t know at the time was that this “healthy hobby” would eventually become a source of unforeseen obsession, and ultimately illness for me. My body began to change. I lost the extra fat, gained more muscle. In addition to exercising, I began to make healthier eating choices and I eventually became an expert in counting: calories in, calories out, steps taken, minutes ran, portion sizes, and pounds lost. I counted everything. If I couldn’t control my life at work, then I
could definitely control this. It worked. I lost the weight! I fit into those jeans! I got the six-pack! Initially I felt better because I was in control, but it wasn’t as glamorous as the magazine covers and television shows promised. Little did I know, I wasn’t just losing the weight, but I was losing myself. Eventually, my whole world was consumed with my image and the number on my scale. My identity shifted from confidence in who I was created to be to an undeniable insecurity of what I saw when I looked in the mirror. The control I had tried to acquire became completely distorted into utter self-destruction. During that season I successfully convinced myself that the more weight I lost, the more satisfaction I would find. I tried to convince the people in my life that I was okay, that I was happy. I was physically shriveling away on the outside, even though my words said otherwise. In reality, I was shriveling away on the inside as well. As much as I tried to search for joy in my jean size, I was losing the joy of life. I went to church one Sunday and as the worship leader began to sing, the walls of denial from my eating disorder were knocked down. Like a wrecking ball, Miley-style. That was it. As a person who is deeply rooted in my faith, I had allowed myself to get swept away in the current of an eating disorder. My first love, once being Je49
sus, had become my body. I had forgotten who I was, his beloved daughter. I had been telling myself that I wasn’t lovely, but the truth is I am loved limitlessly. My story of redemption from this eating disorder certainly hasn’t been the smoothest road. There are still days when my thoughts are consumed with what I look like, what other people see when they see me, or what type of food I am putting into my body. And in these moments, I have to remind myself that I am loved and I can overcome. Next time you look into the mirror, remember there is freedom from the obsession of an eating disorder. You are more than the clothes you wear or the number on your scale or the size of your jeans.
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Q&A with mentor Brooke Benton What were you most afraid of most in your road to true health? Was it stopping doing something or starting doing something or any specific body changes or eating habit changes? Honestly, I was afraid that my standard of “healthy” would not be what I wanted it to look like. In other words, what if I was balanced, exercising, and eating well, but I didn’t look super skinny or super fit? I still wrestle with this, but I had to stop looking at numbers. My weight and any other measurements just aren’t that important if I feel good! I also just had to get real about food. Eating junk food has always sent me into a downward spiral of bad choices. If I eat bad, then I feel bad. In that place it is easy to do something drastic to get back on track. But when I generally eat healthfully, I just don’t end up in a tailspin of bad choices and bad thoughts about myself.
Q&A with mentor Liz Kuhlman What reminds you that this journey of overcoming an eating disorder is worth it? Loaded question! It’s worth it because today I get to watch my children walk in freedom. The struggles that we hold on to will somehow be passed on to our children if we don’t take care of them. It is worth setting down my eating disorder to see my daughter walk in freedom.
How do you keep yourself rooted especially as you’ve had kids and your body fluctuates? My confidence is not in my body. There is a mind shift that needs to take place - Women do not gain confidence by getting to the nirvana state of a perfect body - THIS breeds insecurity. If you want confidence through your childbearing years, you must draw from something other than the way that your body looks. For instance, I put on 40 pounds with my son. I was okay with this because I knew that my body was adjusting for another life, and I needed fat and extra nutrients to sustain that life. Seeing my kids’ faces for the first time made it all worth it.
51 *photo taken at Sara Kate Studios
INSPIRATION
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A Waking Dream by Chantal Loper
Since September, the longest I’ve been ‘healthy’ or at least off some antibiotic is 3 weeks. Lately that amount of time has been reduced to just 3 days. I never know when I’m going to get sick. I can go to bed completely normal, and wake up delirious with a fever of 102 that lasts for days. Doctor visit after doctor visit, I vaguely know what is happening, but the cause and cure are both still unknown. While that isn’t that enjoyable, my singing voice has been gone for 90% of the last eight months. As a musician, it’s particularly painful to be literally silenced. And it doesn’t look like that will be changing anytime soon. I frequently find myself wondering when I will reach the end of my rope. Truth be told, I think I reached it years ago. And what I’ve found at the end of myself is actually the beginning of hope. It is said that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. I’ve learned that my response determines whether that statement is true. If I am hung up on the fact that I feel helpless in my health, then I will eventually stop looking for healing. However if I stop focusing on how I currently feel and look
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for the truth, I will remember that my body was biologically engineered to heal, and it actually wants to heal itself. Remembering once isn’t enough; I have to tell myself this consistently. This is endurance. It’s not always having everything perfect; it’s about dusting your knees off and getting your feet back underneath you, trusting that the fight is worth it. You have to believe that you can, in fact, always get up. Most people quit because it’s stinking hard to believe what’s true rather than what you feel. But it’s worth it. And it’s actually the continual choice to keep going that protects me from bitterness, makes me open and honest, and eliminates a reason to be fearful of what this struggle is going to do to me. Choosing to believe the truth has allowed me to live in hope. Hope is so much more than positive thoughts. Hope is the audacity to believe there is more than what we are currently perceiving. It’s an active choice to step out of our natural understanding of things. Hope takes the things that were intended to hurt us, and turns them into opportunities to flourish. Hope is the unshakable confidence in the goodness that is coming straight for us.
Hope is the place for the impossible to become reality. It is not a passive, quiet thing. It is a violent opposition to the brokenness and unsteady perspective that is so readily found around us. Systematic oppression, ecological disasters, and economic uncertainties are all over the place. Yet hope stares down all of that and says, “There’s more.” Hope is not the place for waking nightmares; it is the place for waking dreams. Hope says, “I love you because I love you. I’m never leaving you. I won’t disappoint you. I won’t fail you. I will fight for you so much harder than you have fought for yourself. And I win. That’s your story.”
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*photo taken at Sara Kate Studios
Q&A with mentor Cheryl Seymour How do we practically hold on and have hope when it feels hopeless? Hope is typically not a natural response to life. Therefore, we must pursue hope with everything we have. When it seems the most hopeless, we pursue and press in even harder. What does that look like? • Look for articles, books, stories of people who have been in similar situations and have overcome. You will identify, you will be inspired, and you will receive hope! • Surround yourself with only those individuals who will speak hope to you, dodge (yes, dodge!) those who don’t!!! You may eventually be at a place where you won’t have to dodge them, for now, it’s essential! • Make a habit of choosing HOPE! Replace the doubtful, hopeless thoughts and talk with words and messages dripping with HOPE!
Is it better for us to wait patiently the end result or to take aggressive means to wrestle for what we so desire? It is my personal experience as well as observing others’ experiences, that waiting proves to be beneficial. However, that does not mean to lay on our beds for weeks and months, waiting for something to happen. During the “season” of waiting, we can be preparing ourselves for the next step. Likewise, we store up love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, faith preparing our hearts for the next season.
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FITNESS
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30-minute Bodyweight Workout (no gym needed) Walking Lunges
Squat to Reverse Lunge
1. Begin standing with your feet shoulder width apart and your hands on your hips. 2. Step forward with one leg, bend the knee and drop your hip. The knee should stay directly above the ankle or slightly behind the ankle. Descend until your back knee hovers 1-3 inches above the ground. 3. Drive through the heel of your front foot and extend both knees to raise yourself back up. 4. Step forward with the back foot and repeat the lunge on the opposite leg.
1. Begin standing with your feet shoulder width apart and hands hanging by your sides. 2. Bend your knees and move your hips back and down like you are sitting in a chair. 3. Without lifting up, step your right foot back to a lunge then bring the right foot back to meet the left and stay in the squat position. Repeat this action on the left side. 4. The squat, right lunge, and left lunge equals 1 repetition. Complete 10.
This workout requires zero equipment, which means you can do it anywhere! Outside, in your living room, ANYWHERE! So go get after it! • • • • • •
20 Walking Lunges 10 Squat & low lunges 20 Crunches 10 Skier Planks 20 Push-ups 10 V-ups
• 20 Reverse Plank Hip Press Repeat 3-5 Times
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Crunches
Push-ups
Skier Planks
1. Lie on your back with your knees bent and feet flat on the floor, hip-width apart. 2. Place your hands behind your head so your thumbs are behind your ears. Don’t lace your fingers together. 3. Hold your elbows out to the sides but rounded slightly in. 4. Tilt your chin slightly, leaving a few inches of space between your chin and your chest. 5. Gently pull your abdominals inward. 6. Curl up and forward so that your head, neck, and shoulder blades lift off the floor. 7. Hold for a moment at the top of the movement and then lower slowly back down.
1. Begin by placing your hands on the floor shoulder distance apart and step your feet back to a flat back plank position (lower your knees to the floor if necessary). 2. Bend the elbows and lower your entire body toward the floor. 3. When your chest nears the bottom of the movement, press against the floor and return your body to the starting position. Repeat this movement for 20 repetitions.
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1. Begin by placing your hands on the floor shoulder distance apart and step your feet back to a flat back plank position. 2. Bend your knees and jump both of your feet over to meet your right hand. 3. Jump back to the starting position, and then repeat movement again on the left side. After you have jumped your feet to the right and to the left, you have completed 1 repetition. Complete 10 repetitions.
V-Ups
Reverse Plank Hip Press
1. Begin by lying on your back with both legs extended and arms extended above your head. 2. Take a deep inhale, on the exhale simultaneously lift shoulders and legs up off the floor toward your center line. Fingers reach up toward the toes. On your next inhale gently lower yourself back to the starting position. Complete 10 repetitions.
1. Sit on the floor with your legs extended straight in front of you. 2. Place your hands on either side of your hips 3. Press into your hands and heels and lift your hips off of the floor. Knees should be bent with knees directly over ankles 4. Send your hips backward while simultaneously straightening legs. You hips should hover 1-3 inches above the floor between your hands. 5. Return to starting position and repeat 20 times.
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Tropical Post Workout Smoothie • 1 cup unsweetened almond milk • 1 cup kale • ½ cup frozen pineapple • ½ cup frozen mango • 1 apple, cored and sliced • Juice of ½ of a lime • 2 scoops protein powder • Makes 1 serving
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Salmon Tikka Masala with Spiced Yoghurt on Naan a recipe by Meg Hickey In my early twenties, I spent a good chunk of my time sitting in the Brooklyn Bridge Park eating hotdogs and drinking coffee by myself. Oddly enough, I enjoyed the flavor combination of the bitter coffee and the sweetness of the bun. These moments with myself mark the beginning of one of my stories; the beginning of realizing what I could create with my hands, the new ways I could connect with others, and the start of winning a battle that had raged inside me since I made myself believe I wasn’t enough. Learning to make, create, and love food turned my aversion towards it to avid fascination and hunger for more. Now, the greatest act of love I can give someone is a meal at my table. My kitchen is a workshop and I have reflected more on the goodness of God over a failed piecrust than I have in most forced church settings. I have hope that as our hunger for real food increases so will our hunger for real connection. My wish is to arm you with another skill to help you connect with others and for you to be able to invite others into your home and share something sacred: a home cooked meal. My first recipe is one I adapted from Jamie Oliver. His recipes give me inspiration for travel and a yearning for creativity.
1. Deseed your cucumber and your chili. After you are done, place in a bowl with the yoghurt, coriander, sumac, salt, and pepper. Mix together and add a squeeze of lemon. Put in the refrigerator until you are ready to eat. 2. Cut a slit down the salmon filets and place chopped garlic inside. Season with salt and pepper. Spread tikka paste with a pastry brush or spoon all over the salmon. 3. Heat a glug of olive oil over medium high heat. Cook salmon filets roughly 2 minutes on each side. I tear the skin off at this point and feed it to my dogs. 4. Once they are done, cut salmon and serve over warmed naan. Place a dollup of cucumber yoghurt on top. Top with fresh pineapple, coconut, peanuts, or cilantro and enjoy!
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• • • • • • • • • • • • •
Dried Red Chili, 1, Diced Cucumber, ½ de-seeded and diced Lemon, 1 Greek Yoghurt, ¼ cup Coriander, 1 tsp, ground Sumac, 1 tsp, ground (this is optional, but can be found at an international market) Garlic, 2 cloves, chopped Salmon filets, 2, skin on Tikka Masala paste, 1 ½ tbsp Chopped Pineapple (optional) Chopped Peanuts (optional) Cilantro (optional) Toasted Coconut (optional)
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contributors Founder & CEO
Writers
Lark Reely
Kathryn Collins Kelsi Burdick Lilli Kiehl Caitlyn Marcum ChloĂŠ Prochaska Hunter Folsom Chantal Loper Jasmine Malloy Meredith Schmitz MaryBeth Omido Sarah Niemitalo Mackie Taylor Meg Hickey
Director of Operations MaryBeth Omido
Editor-in-Chief Ryane Willis
Assistant Editor Kaitie Holland
Chief of Design Jasmine Malloy
Advertising Design Editor
Beth Anne Cobb
Natalie Sampson
Videographer Director of Photography
Olivia Abiassi
Rachel Skrovina
Business Developer Website Coordinator
Pauline Sacre
Sheridan Hall
Mentors Senior Photographer Becky Rice
Editor Amy Sanders
Artist & Art Coordinator Roshni Robert 66
Meg Doke Brooke Benton Liz Kuhlman Ryane Willis Cheryl Seymour Becky Rice
photography credits Cover
Lifestyle
Hunter Folsom
Kelley Morgan Melanie Foster Champagne & Blush
Letter from the Editor Hannah Brown
Health
Fashion & Beauty Tricia Miller
Champagne & Blush MaryBeth Omido
Features
Inspiration
MaryBeth Omido Melanie Foster Hunter Folsom
Hunter Folsom Champagne & Blush
Fitness
Media
Champagne & Blush
Regan Wallace Champagne & Blush
Dinner Party
Nations
Champagne & Blush Hannah Brown
Champagne & Blush Hunter Folsom
Contributions Hunter Folsom
Finances Natalie Sampson
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beloved.
beloved.