Gather Issue by Beloved Magazine

COVER

beloved. beloved. GATHER ISSUE

STYLE

UNDERSTANDING

GIVING

CONVERSATION

CREATIVITY

COMMUNITY

A Letter from the Editor There is much to be said about a single-minded group of people banded together for a unified goal. I mean, what did the Iron Jawed Angels and Nazi Germany have in common? They met together for the advance of a common idea. Now, one group’s goal was to seek justice and equality for women in America, and the other was to commit genocide and progress the most inhumane movement in the history of the world, but nonetheless – meeting for a common goal. Note: never mention Nazi Germany. Ever. Again. Moving on. Beloved Magazine’s goal is to empower local young women to stop striving for idealism and perfection, but instead nurture and appreciate who they are and who and what is around them. We want to bridge the gap between who they are today and who they dream of being, through providing hope and wisdom from our mentors. The hope behind the Gather Issue is to create a place for young women to find understanding, encouragement, and challenge as individuals in order to create a community of women instead of a source of competition. This last year for Beloved has been one big collaboration. It has been really hard, if we’re being honest. We have made mistakes, and we have been humbled. Anybody see our IndieGoGo? Yeah, let’s not talk about it. But we have not stopped bringing back the pieces of the broken expectations and learning how to combine what we thought we knew with what we now know, so we can create something better. And wow, we have learned an abundance! The immense gratitude we have for each and every one of you has only grown. We are incredibly greatful. I mean this with all sincerity, thank you for every word, penny, “like”, and “share”; we are all part of raising up a generation of women who know and love themselves. Now get to reading! Merry Christmas ya filthy animals, Lark Reely

Get in style this season with these looks! Sleeveless Coat + Suede Over the Knee Boots: I have had my eye on the perfect suede boot for fall and winter and I knew this Steve Madden pair was a winner when I got them in the mail! They are a beautiful shade of grey and taupe that allow multiple outfit combinations while still being classy and chic. You can wear them casually with skinny jeans or mix things up with a sweater, dress or skirt. Sleeveless Coat: H&M Sweater: Old Navy Boots: Steve Madden Purse: Rebecca Minkoff

There is something refreshing and exciting about the change in seasons. Crisp colored leaves welcome fall while various shades and sizes of clustered pumpkins fill front door entries. One of my favorite fall arrivals are my over the knee bootsâ&#x20AC;Ś These add just the right height and heel. Their saddle suede color pairs perfectly with countless outfit combinations. I added this Shearling Vest to pull the look together as well as a classic felt floppy hat.

Dress: Lily Rain Boots: Nordstrom Vest: Target Hat: Target Purse: Forever 21

Hunter green is such an elegant color paired next to a crisp white blouse. I love the tie-neck top trend and decided to pair it with this pleated dress for a more polished look. You can easily transition this look to holiday party attire by switching out the boots with heels and adding a leather jacket or peacoat!

Dress: Forever 21 Tie-Neck Shirt: Forever 21 Purse: Rebecca Minkoff Boots: (old) could suggest Tory Burch riding boot Hat: Target

Evidence of autumn means thick wooly scarves, ankle booties, felt hats, and of course, cozy cardigans. I love to throw them over turtlenecks and t-shirts to add extra warmth without having to carry a heavy coat. This cardigan by French Connection can be worn over jeans (like I did here) or a skirt paired with boots. Typically I’m a strict rule-follower, but I’ve had to break the “no white after Labor Day” rule because I can’t help but love the fresh, clean look that white brings to any outfit. I’m particularly excited to try the white-out trend when it gets closer to winter – a monochromatic ensemble exuding class and sophistication

Cardigan: Lily Rain Scarf: Lily Rain Metallic Tee: Forever 21 Denim: Old Navy Hat: Nordstrom

Practicing Humanity

“

By: Kelsey Verrill

Compassion means going directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute, and building a home there. - Henri Nouwen

”

I recently saw a woman crouched face down, palms up in the middle of the crowded streets in Venice. As I approached from far off I watched person after person step over her or hurry around her. No one dared to make eye contact, even though she was blind. I saw strangers avoid this woman, afraid to allow themselves to feel for her. I was astonished how easy it seemed for their faces to curve upward while passing the obvious poverty and pain, choosing to look away. But just because you don’t want to see suffering, doesn’t mean it isn’t there. So what could I do? Maybe nothing. I walked slowly toward her, stopping just feet away, and watched as she lifted her head from the pavement to look at me, even though she couldn’t see. I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t sure how I, in the smallness of my thinking and my experience, could do anything besides just be there next to her. Hot tears ran down my face as I began to experience a deep grief in my belly. I just stood there. That’s all I did. Maybe that was wrong. Maybe it wasn’t enough...but I couldn’t just walk past her. I wouldn’t. I began asking myself the messy questions that follow the recognition of this foreign pain. I didn’t understand it, which meant I wouldn’t have the proper words or gifts that would heal this woman. Then I thought about my own suffering and what had always been the best ointment and comfort for me when I couldn’t breathe. Henri Nouwen articulated it better than I could when he said, “what really counts is that in moments of pain and suffering someone stays with us.” So perhaps it wasn’t about the hug or the eloquent sentence that followed the belly cry, maybe it just meant that we stick around. In these moments, we will realize that it’s not about the way we respond at all, rather it is just simply that we are responding. Sometimes responding means staying, if even for a moment. I remember as I watched this woman in Italy, avoided and ignored, I was tempted to take another route. I was faced with the decision to see her in the fullness of her situation or to ignore her so that I wouldn’t have to experience a moment of her reality. But compassion asks us to act. Compassion says, “maybe I don’t or won’t ever understand but I will choose to be next to you in this place.” So, in these moments of pain could we do something difficult? Could we see each other with kinder eyes, knowing that we don’t have to fix the pain or fill the silence? Perhaps the biggest mystery of all is whether or not we are even willing to stay. Aren’t we all just longing to find eyes that notice what we’ve been going through? Maybe the presence of God is teaching us something through needing each other.

Q&A with Beth Primrose In your opinion, how do we really allow the people we know ( and those we don’t) to really be seen and heard – especially those in harsh circumstances, without dishing out advice or just pretend it doesn’t exist? How do we not put the blame on them? Is the best thing we can do just to be with them, like Kelsey suggested? We live in a world of distracted, numb, desensitized people. To live in OPPOSITION to the mojo of the world, to look the hurting in the eye, to stop, to be present, and especially to listen to their story, sends a message of value, worth and hope to any soul who is hurting and feels forgotten. Even though we are filled with compassion, it may not be the safest thing to hang out in dark alleys or picking up potentially stabby hitchhikers - What are practical ways to love and empower people that are hurting without possibly enabling toxic behavior? Fortunately for us, there are people who have learned this the hard way so we wont have to. Find a specialist, an organization that has a good track record. Join them in what they do. But First start by putting down your phone and listen..look at the people in your life..your neighbors. Ask their story. Youll be surprised how powerful your “presence” is. What if I am hurting, but I don’t know how to reach out? What should I do? I just want someone to listen, but all I feel is guilt and shame when people give advice or voice their concerns. Truly safe friends dont judge, and dump shame. Educate yourself about what healthy, safe relating looks like and learn to have eyes to discern it. Ask yourself, “Who are the safe people in my life?”

Don’t know what to get your family and friends for the holidays? Here is a guide that can help you out

The Beautician (DNA Galleries) It’s finally the season for warm bathes and constant good smells. These bath bombs are the perfect way to relax while supporting local craftsmen in OKC. Made by ten year old Bella of The Little Bubble, each bath bomb is only $6. Oh, and t they are completely organic.

The Adventurer (Blue Seven) For the person in your life who would rather go exploring than participate in “Netflix and chill”, what better gift than an invitation for adventure? Ginko Press City Guides create mini adventure handbooks for your favorite cities, including London, Tokyo, and New York City. And if spontaneous travels aren’t in the near future, a mug from Wild & Wolf Gentlemen’s Hardware is a great inspiration for daily adventures.

The Writer (DNA Galleries) Whether it’s a brooding poet or an avid list maker, this leather-bound journal is stylish enough for any author. Handmade by Marino Mendez, each journal is unique and comes in a variety of colors. And since the best writing is done sitting outside of holein-the-wall coffee shops, why not include a beanie from Culture Flock Clothing for warmth.

The Well-Dressed

The Athlete (Shop Good) With the arrival of basketball season an dNCAA Bowl games, nothing says “We like sports and we don’t care who knows” like a worn tee shirt. Whether it’s college football or the NBA, these graphic tees are designed and printed locally in small batches. Even better, Shop Good will donate 5% of each purchase to Special Care, a school for special needs children that focuses on opportunities instead of obstacles. Slam dunk.

(Blue Seven) As every trend-setter knows, it’s the accessories that complete an outfit. Whether it’s a bowtie, the perfect hat, or an ironic pair of socks, Blue Seven is your one stop hip apparel shop for both men and women. With a variety of styles and prints, finding something quirky to match their personality is a guaranteed.

The Business Man The Mother (Blue Seven) What was the first piece of advice you ever learned? Mom is always right. Carol Bolt’s “Mom’s Book of Answers” is a near-magical collection of responses for every topic a mother may deal with. Combined with a recipe box from Rifle Paper Co., you’ve successfully created a gift your mom will love (and just might benefit you as well).

(Blue Seven) Convenience is a top priority for the traveling businessman, but that doesn’t mean appearance should be sacrificed. A travel pouch from WILL Leather goods is both stylish and durable for constant travel, and a mini Swell water bottle promotes reuse while fitting just about anywhere.

How to Handle Awkward Situations Like a

Champ By: Kylie Kallsen There you are, innocently helping your mom out with grocery shopping, when you run into your chemistry partner from tenth grade. Oh, God. Eye contact. Was that a hint of recognition on his face? Should I go over there and say hi or wait for him to come over here. Should I just pretend not to see him? I’m just going to fake a fascination with the organic cantaloupes in front of me... I didn’t know cantaloupes could be organic? Didn’t I used to have a crush on him? Oh God, here he comes… Sometimes, small incidents like this can make us feel like the overused word: awkward. For those of us who are more socially anxious than the average bear, these everyday encounters can be downright stressful and embarrassing. Relax. You are capable of navigating the uncertain waters of the uncomfortable, even in the presence of cantaloupes. Use the following response guide to survive awkward situations galore.

Intrusive Q&As

“Are you and Tim thinking about marriage?” “What are you going to do with that major?

“How’s the job search going?” Breathe. While these simple questions are capable of sending the average twenty-something into a rage of annoyance followed by sweaty armpits, usually no malleolus is intended behind them. Be understanding. Most questions asked by well-meaning distant relatives and acquaintances aren’t intended to stress or irritate. These types of questions are often crutches in conversation that we have all asked someone else before. If there are certain topics that you rather avoid, bring up something else you’re excited about, like an upcoming trip, a work project, or what happened on the last season Downton Abbey. Listen and ask questions about what they like to do. You might learn something new about someone you thought was hard to talk to.

Awkwardly Close Encounters This might be one of the most common situations we face. You’ll be going about your day when you bump into that girl who lived on your floor freshman year. Karen, or maybe her name was Katie? Either way, you feel weird about making eye contact and (gasp) saying hi. When did our society suddenly get so uncomfortable with running into acquaintances? Don’t be afraid to be friendly! Keep it short and causal. No need to approach anyone with a full scale investigation into their life. Chances are, they’re feeling the same as you. The worst that could happen is that someone will think you’re weird for being nice. Is that as bad as you’d thought it be? Brush it off and keep that head up! Everyone has been there before. Just don’t say “Hey Girlie”. It’s a dead giveaway that you don’t know their name.

Bracing for the Over Share Your mom just told a room full of innocent bystanders about the time you knotted your shirt Britney Spears style and performed for passing cars on the street. Everyone is enjoying this little story time except for you. It’s okay to be embarrassed when a friend or family member shares a little more than you’d like.

¯\_( ツ)_ Those closest to us like to remember stories of our antics /¯ and quirks. It’s what friends are for. If there is a story that really gets under your skin, it is okay to let the person sharing it know how you feel. They probably weren’t planning your social destruction or hurting feelings. Besides, you should probably be proud of your Britney imitation, you totally didn’t have your jaw wired shut by your orthodontist at the time, right?

Enduring Silence You’ve run out of things to say to your cousin’s new fiancé, or maybe you’re stuck at a party with an old classmate that you never really knew or liked. The key here is to be a good listener. Did he just get back from a hiking trip? Grab onto that and ask questions. Tell him about the one time you went camping and how horribly it ended. While you spat away about the not-sogreat outdoors, he’ll sit back and appreciate the enchanting conversationalist you are. Well, maybe. If you’re still falling on silence, it’s okay. Sometimes it can be more impressive to be comfortable with silence than to constantly attempt to fill it. Lastly, every moment is as awkward as you want to make it. Don’t sweat the small stuff and you’ll make it out of all your social obligations in one piece.

Cider: 1 gal- Apple Cider 1pkg -Red Hots 1-2 - oranges 1-2 - Peaches Put the gallon of cider in a pot over the stove, set on low. Add the package of Red Hots and while that is getting warm and the Red Hots are dissolving start cutting your oranges and peaches to add to the mix. During the duration of the time stir often, making sure that the Red Hots completetly dissolve in the cider. At the end you have created the most beautiful and best tasting cider in the world.

The Seats At Your Table By: Hunter Brothers

Relationships are all we’ve got, and I’m learning that keeping them gets harder as we grow. I’m also learning that sharing this photo isn’t in my best dating interest - but enjoy. I’m the one in the middle with that glamour shot head tilt. Moving on. When we’re young, we long to leave. I mean this in the healthiest and happiest way possible - we grow, we learn, we leap, we leave. I was homeschooled for the first few years of elementary (aaand we’re back on the photo) and I could not wait to spread my wings and fly into the plaid, pleated world of school - real school. Dreams of lunch trays and bullies and buck-teeth yearbook photos crowded my mind at night! You laugh. I laugh even, because now I have really flown the coop looking for (pleat-free) adventure, and yet in my deepest heart, all I long for is to pull up a seat at my family table.

The holiday season kicks these feelings in the gut for us all, I think. There’s something about sitting at a full table that gets your heart beating at a pace you recognize but feels hard to find elsewhere. It’s the gathering of people and the flooding of stories you can’t share fast enough. The thousands of hugs from the same person because you’ve missed them that much. It’s the end of missing someone, at least for a while, the shared history, the deep breath you take as you hold a familiar hand on your right and left - a hand you’ve held for years. We were made for these moments.

But what I loved most was the question my dad posed to the table - “in your time on this earth, what is the greatest thing you’ve learned?” This was a perfectly posed moment for stealing - we could have bailed, we should have bailed because it’s easier to sit silent than to fight your fears. But instead, we passed around the pie, moved in close, and for a while we felt known to the core and cared for. Half of us cried while sharing - another half while l istening. We were made for these moments, and we need them more.

And yet, there are things that steal these moments away. It’s We chose to sit at the table that day. the anxiety that follows family and friends as they reunite in close quarters - I’m talking sister fights people, hair pulling and insults This is what I know, your chair is a choice. And I’m learning that it’s hard, but it’s good and it’s we regret- we’ve all been there. It’s the necessary. Whether the road brings fear of someone knowing you best and you home or ships you to the moon “we could have bailed, we should seeing you at your weakest and worst. there is always room for another seat It’s the guilt of knowing you didn’t call have bailed because it’s easier to and another story. So this season, sit when you could have, and you should down. Share meals with others and let have. These things we shove under the sit silent than to fight your fears” them share with you. Tell stories until table, or don’t bring to the table at all you cry. because somewhere along the journey we misstepped and lost our way. Hug your family. Try your best. This is why the table exists - and your chair is a choice. This season let’s take less for granted and give more with gratitude. Around 22 people pull up seats to my family’s Thanksgiving table. And from me to you, I hope you remember the value you hold in a Every few years there is one seat less because as we grow, we leave, seat at your table. but we also lose. The first Thanksgiving without my uncle was one where we hugged necks a little harder and held hands a little This feature is dedicated to the fierce legacy of our sweet grandma longer, and I remember wondering what a seat at the table of Betty Faye - your chair will never grow old and never lay empty. Heaven looked like that day. February 1935 - August 2015

Q&A with Laurel Jaqua How to you stay intentional with your family during the holidays? Family is incredibly important to me. My family has done such a great job of building lasting traditions together. We have done formal Christmas dinners, Christmas cookie decorating, family movie nights and lots of other things throughout the years. I associate most family holidays with food. I get so excited thinking about holiday chex mix, pecan tarts and apple cider that my aunt makes. Or the coffee cake and peppermint hot chocolate my dad makes. I look forward to the big family meal we share on Christmas Eve together. Now that I have my own family, I’m taking time to intentionally plan traditions and food that will create excitement and anticipation for years to come. Hunter says, “Your chair is a choice.” Was there ever a time where this was difficult for you at a family gathering? I can remember my mom agonizing over seating arrangements for holiday dinners. She always wanted to mix up the generations together and make sure that introverts, extroverts and those in between were in the perfect spot to generate conversation. As a kid, my cousins and I would listen for the memorable (and constant) conversation transitions that took place. In my family, at holiday dinners, you talk first about books, then about politics and last, about religion. There were years where I suffered a few breakups where I sat silently and cried into my food. With family, I always felt comforted and welcome, despite what I was going through. I can think of countless holidays of experiencing the joy of babies being born, and the utter grief of a life cut too short and all of life’s experiences in between. I remember lots and lots of laughter and joy but also some tears and pain. With my family, I’ve experienced it all. They know me, they know where I come from. They know the books my parents like or dislike, what political party my parents belong to, and their faith. We’ve been through a lot together and because of this, they are my home. In your experience, why are we the worst version of ourselves around our family? I think it’s easy to get typecast in your family. The baby, the trouble maker, the life of the party, etc. As life goes on, we grow and change, but when we come home, it’s easy to revert back to our familiar familial roles. Do you have any holiday season advice? Stay present. Be intentional in your relationships. Give your time to others. Go volunteer. Create magic. Spike your eggnog. :)

Contributers Founder & CEO

Social Media Cordinator

Executive Assistant

Public Relations

Lark Reely

Blayne Davis

Advertising Cordinator MaryBeth Omido

Editor-in-Chief Ryane Willis

Assistant Editor Kaitie Holland

Creative

Regan Wallace

Mackie Taylor

Claire Cowman

Writers

Hunter Brothers Kylie Kallsen Josie Smith Kelsey Verrill

Start Up Developer

Videographer

Pauline Sacre

Olivia Abiassi

Website Coordinator

Art

Hunter Folsom

Roshni Robert

Senior Photographer

Mentors

Becky Rice

Laurel Jaqua Beth Primrose

Photography Credits Tricia Miller Madeline Mittel Becky Rice

A Special Thanks To Matt Allen Beth Anne Cobb Jacob Cossey Missy David Claire Demetree Nicole Lardner Jasmine Malloy Becky Mayes Haley Poarch Natalie Sampson Amy Sanders Goddard Tree Farm CCW

Have A Happy Holidays!

beloved.