Mary Young

Mary Young

Partner, Kingsley Napley LLP

Mary is a partner at Kingsley Napley. She has worked in commercial litigation since qualifying but also has a particular interest in crypto-currencies. Mary is a member of Kingsley Napley’s Diversity & Inclusion group and the LGBT+ and allies network and has written several articles on Kingsley Napley’s LGBTQ blog series. Mary has used her position to speak up for minority groups and strongly encourages those around her to do the same.

Who is your role model? Why?

Oh I have so many:

■ My first trainee supervisor, who is not only a kick ass lawyer, she’s also trained in horticulture, built an eco-home in her spare time, raised two amazing kids and still has the time and energy to be fun, funny and one of the most caring people I know. She has unknowingly inspired a generation of female lawyers to be better people.

■ My mum who is the kindest person in the world, and who reassures me that I don’t always have to be ‘on’. Her capacity for general knowledge will forever put me to shame and is something I aspire to.

■ My partner who reminds me that I don’t have to answer every question, particularly the rhetorical ones, and that jokes should not be approached with logic or they stop being funny. He makes sure that my non-working life is fun and that I don’t take myself too seriously. He also makes sure I don’t have food on my face when I leave the house.

■ And all my friends. No woman is an island. I think I’ve taken something from everyone I know, whether that’s how to use blusher to disguise the pallor of a late night/early morning or an introduction to yoga.

Do you believe that the glass ceiling still exists for women in the legal profession?

I’m going to mention my privilege a few times here – I’m a woman but I’m also white, middle class and work at a firm which has a track record of actively supporting and promoting women: more than 50% of our partners are women. I genuinely did not feel that there were any limits imposed on me because of my gender. However, I’m aware that not everyone is in the same position as me and as a profession I do think there is more to be done. There is parity at entry level in the legal profession, but the top echelons are still occupied by men. And usually white men.

Until we, as a society, stop treating women as the primary care givers (not just to children, but also to partners and parents), and until men take on an equal amount of the emotional labour of running a household (with or without children) (I should probably add #notallmen) it’s going to continue to be hard for women to juggle work and home life. If I have to remember to pick up toothpaste because it’s about to run out, when I’ve been in the office until 2am for the third day running, and come home to a pile of washing to be done and no food in the house, and that gets repeated every week ad infinitum then something will eventually give.

Likewise, until law firms get over the idea that you have to be in the office to be working, everyone is going to suffer. We need to stop putting air-quotes around the phrase working from home and accept that people work in different ways and whilst I might get more done sitting at my desk with minimal distractions, my colleague who has family commitments is most effective if he can start work before the rest of his family wakes up, break off for school runs, work during the school day and then pick things up again in the evening. The rest of the world demands flexibility and the law is going to need to catch up.

And until we re-train our brains to think of women in prominent roles and get over the unconscious bias which comes from not seeing as many female partners, CEOs and judges and leads to us automatically assuming that a judge must be a man (and the majority of them are men), there is going to be work to be done. It’s a fact of human nature that we are drawn to people we recognise: who look and sound like us. And that can cause huge problems with recruitment and promotion if the people doing the recruiting and promoting are selecting candidates in their own image. We also look at organisations to see whether we can see ourselves in the people who are successful there. You want to see whether the people at the top look like you, so that you can see yourself getting there. When the people at the top are white, CIS, able bodied, straight men, there’s a whole swathe of the population who look at them and don’t recognise themselves and therefore cannot see themselves in that position.

To what extent does the culture of firms have an impact on the likelihood of women making it to partnership?

The culture of the firm has an enormous impact. I’m privileged enough to work for a firm with a proven history of supporting women at all levels, including the very top. When I joined KN the managing and senior partners were both women. That has now changed as the senior partner role is for a fixed term, but our male senior partner has made it the focus of his tenure to increase diversity within the firm, so in many ways the ethos remains.

How would you describe the culture at Kingsley Napley?

There was a report in The Lawyer last week that only three UK top 100 firms had partnerships where women outnumbered men. Kingsley Napley is one of those firms. Our partnership is around 55% female. I became partner this year, along with one other person who happened to be an extremely well deserving man. He’s truly excellent at his job and leads a team of costs lawyers. I was so pleased to be made up along with him, and that the gender split was 50/50.

Kingsley Napley genuinely feels like a meritocracy, and a place where people are encouraged and talent is nurtured. That includes considering people’s needs, be it standing desks, agile working or part time/flexible working hours. The firm seems to recognise that people don’t all come in one package and what works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. That doesn’t make us perfect, but it makes for a really great place to work. I know I sound like I drank the Kool Aid on this one, but I believe it.

What advice would you give to women aiming to make partnership?

■ Be brave – going for partnership means sticking your head above the parapet. You’re going to be questioned on your work, your ability to bring in work, your management style and every aspect of your working life.

■ You will also have to make decisions in your career along the way which are terrifying. The first time you move firms is always the hardest. The first time a client complains about fees, or the outcome of a case it will always feel personal.

■ And no one else has all the answers. We’re all learning, that’s what makes the job so interesting, so don’t beat yourself up about not knowing it all.

■ Believe in yourself. It’s a clique for a reason. If you don’t think you can do it, no one else will either.

■ Build your network. Fill it with brilliant people you can learn from and work with. They could be colleagues who will support you and vouch for your when it’s time to apply for promotion, friends who listen to you when you’ve had a bad day, and then proof read your partnership paper, or clients for whom you’ve done a great job. Value them and let them know they’re valued.

Oh, and everyone has imposter syndrome. ■

Mary is a partner at Kingsley Napley. She has worked in commercial litigation since qualifying but also has a particular interest in crypto-currencies. Mary is a member of Kingsley Napley’s Diversity & Inclusion group and the LGBT+ and allies network and has written several articles on Kingsley Napley’s LGBTQ blog series which can be accessed at www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/diversity-matters/ lgbtq-pride. Mary has used her position to speak up for minority groups and strongly encourages those around her to do the same.

Many thanks April Parker, founder of According to a Law Student who conducted this interview for her website: https://accordingtoalawstudent.com/