What are YOU really communicating?

What are YOU really communicating?

Working life and patterns have changed a great deal over the last few years. A lot more communication doesn’t involve us seeing people in person.

Whichever method you use to interact with others at work, you always need to remember that other than email, how someone interprets what you communicate is about far more than the words you use.

Let’s first consider when there is a visual element. Body language is responsible for up to 60-70% of what you communicate when you are interacting with someone in person. That is staggering. It means that if your body language is saying something different to your words, then it is more likely to be believed. The plus side of this is understanding that body language helps you to interpret what others are really thinking.

The two most likely body language give aways:

• Posture and movement – these set the tone. Have in mind that these elements are visible even from a distance, so can communicate to others how you are feeling on a particular day. More hunched posture and slower movement can, for example, communicate a less than positive outlook. Non-definite fidgety movements can also communicate nervousness or impatience, depending on the other body language elements. Ultimately, they also distract people from what you or others are saying.

• Expressions – if you are anything like me then there is a big danger that your facial expressions give away what you really think. The issue with this is that it may steer others away from saying what they intended as they are put off by your quizzical or disparaging look. There may be times when you want this to be the case – it’s about ensuring it is intentional!

There are many other body language elements to consider. At a macro level, these include eye contact, gestures and mannerisms.

A lot of interactions now take place over video call, whilst body language is limited in this setting, it still has a big role to play. My top three tips for this situation in terms of body language:

• Make sure you physically take up around 50% of the view people see.

• ‘Take up space’ in your chair.

• Try to have your hands in view so some gesturing can be seen.

To think more about how well you master these elements, download my ‘Body language elements sheet’ here which accompanies my book Getting On: Making work work.

Another critical impact and communication influencer

How you say words has an enormous impact on their interpretation and naturally this applies to a broader set of

circumstances – in person, video calls and not forgetting the phone, when it is your key way to communicate, as there are no visual cues.

Here are my top tips for what to consider:

• Adopt an appropriate pace – many people speak too fast which depending on other factors, communicates arrogance or nervousness. If others can’t follow, then you won’t have the impact you intend. They will only ask you to repeat once in all likelihood. Pausing is a much-undervalued habit! People need time to take in new information.

• Tonality. Avoid speaking in a monotone way, this is the number one way to disengage people. Also, take care over what your tone implies, sounding doubting or unsure can be ok but be sure that’s what you want to communicate at that point.

• Volume – this will need to vary by situation. You need to start by being aware of whether your voice is typically louder, quieter or in-between and how you might adapt.

• Enunciation – word clarity is lacking in many situations but can cause real issues. Particularly with people whose first language is another and/or those who may not be legally minded, so need language to be clearly articulated.

To think more about how well you master these elements, download my ‘Voice elements sheet’ here which accompanies my book Getting On: Making work work.

The starting point with any development is to consider where you are now. By building your self-awareness, you can think about what you need to work on. I’d always suggest working on a couple of things at once until they become more natural and then work on the next elements on your list. Be sure to practice your new skills in real life plenty of times, to get comfortable with them and so they become new habits. I recommend people allocate ‘career time’ in their diary to enhance the chance that some weeks they work on their career development; life is busy and without allocated time, it is unlikely to happen. ■

By Joanna Gaudoin

Joanna Gaudoin helps bright, knowledgeable lawyers with great technical skills and experience improve their non-technical skills. She helps clients to navigate working life effectively and progress their careers. She has run Inside Out Image www. InsideOutImage.co.uk for 12 years and worked with thousands of people, individually and in group settings. She is the author of the Amazon bestseller Getting On: Making work work.