Phoenix Magazine 2021-2022 by BEPPhoenixmag

Phoenix Magazine 2021-2022

Phoenix 2021-2022 Bishop Eustace Preparatory School 5552 Rt. 70, Pennsauken, NJ Mr. Jim Brady.......................................................................................................... Moderator Alexia McConaghy’22, Emma Smithwick‘22, Victoria Bui’22, Emma Barger’22, Abby Dlug ’22, Sara Ledyard‘22……………….Executive Editors/Photographers Michelle Lu’24, Abigail Dlug’22, Emma Barger’22, Victoria Bui’22….Artists

Contributors Anderson, Sean ’22

Davenport, Anthony ’22

Hallinan, Gianna ’22

Miller, Bryce ’22.

Sobieski, Emily ’22

Anzideo, Isabella ’22

DeAngelis, Adam ’22

Heiser. Clare ’22

Morris, Meg ’22

Swallow, Ava ’22

Azelby, Catherine ’22

Dan Dermody ’22

Higgins, Aidan ’22

Orr, Harrison ’22

Waldstein, Andrew ‘22

Barger, Emma ’22

Ben Didio ‘22

Judge, Morgan ’22

O’Rourke, Danny ’22

Bocaj, Julia ’22

Dlug, Abby ’22

Kazemi, Armeen ’22

Pilaitis, Natalie ’22

Bui, Victoria ’22

Dunk, Maddie ’22

Kouyoumdji, Christina ’22

Pobre, Alex ’22

Burke, Reagan ’22

Edwards, Sean ’22

LaRatta, Lou ’22

Ronan, Natalie ‘22

Canal, Katie ’22

Falocco, Liv ’22

Ledyard, Sara ’22

Ruiz, Britney ’22

Chapjian, Cassie ’22

Fante, Bella ’22

Lozano, Jenna ’22

Serlenga, Carly ’22

Crisonino, Ed ’22

Fretz, Emma ’22

McKeon, Aidan ’22

Smithwick, Emma ’22

Lu, Michelle ’24

Pastino, Giovanni ‘23

Cover Design This year's magazine cover is dedicated to the four seasons. It represents the constant changes that occur around the world and in our lives. The Phoenix adapts to nature's seasonal challenges, as it embraces power and beauty in an ever-changing environment. The Phoenix symbolizes the preservation of balance and harmony between opportunity and strength using discretion. As it optimizes its abilities to fit different scenarios, the Phoenix continues to bring new hope and inspiration to the world.

For their support of our efforts, special thanks to: Dr. Jacqueline Coccia Mrs. Marylou Williams Dr. Mark Ebner Mrs. Annette Masso Mrs. Kat Burke-Esposito

Dedication Class of 2022 The legendary Phoenix is the perfect metaphor for the Class of 2022, as we adapted to our theme of the four seasons. You survived the many changes that occurred during your four years. Your resilience, strength, and uncompromising drive have taken you to the end of this part of your journey. You adapted to every change and like the Phoenix, as you move through life, you will bring hope and inspiration to the world. Time for you to soar high and change the world!

SPRING

The Budding Tree

“River Rocks”

By: Andrew Waldstein

By: Abby Dlug

A Tree steadfast where it's found, Unchanged by the winds of time, Unwavering through countless nights Unchanged in a state so sublime.

Smooth river rocks always look prettier in the water. They are the most comfortable, most expressive, in the environment they were born and raised. Thousands of years, and yet my animalistic greed overrides nature’s crafting hands. I would like that rock, the one who looks as if it were hand-painted by a forgotten god, overlayed with gloss and thrown to the side.

Out in the meadow The tree does stand alone Past the old days When many were known. The hope still remains, As the tree buds new life. Unchanged by the winds of time

Smooth river rocks lose their shine once they’re dry. I found that out the hard way. My disappointment visible, the beach beckoned for its son to return, and so I tossed it back, skipping 1, 2, 3 times before landing in its rightful place. And the smooth river rock was happy once more, beaming now that it was home.

An Evening on The Town Anonymous It’s dark in a crowded theater. It's chilled, I think they went hard on the A.C. Why is it always so cold seeing live shows? “What time is it?” “Seven twenty-nine,” I responded. “Why do we watch this,” I ask myself “Because I should, no it’s technically an obligation,” I responded. “You know it isn’t.” My stomach turns and as the backdrop of the set turns to blue, so do I. “Why do we feel blue?” “You feel anxious. Unease. But you should be happy, excited even.” I see a face. We see a face. It’s the face I came to see. A warmness, yet unease fills me instead of the churned stomach. It feels fleeting, but I know it isn’t. The feeling encapsulates me as though I am putting a sweater on to travel into the cold. Like a child waking up to a snow day. This feeling, at least I think, stems from the people on stage. They feel so joyous. It's so hard to describe it. You’d just have to witness it yourself, trust me. “Why do I have to go?” “You don’t. You can always stay.” “Should I?” “You should, it would kill you if the flowers didn’t get into the right hands.”

Life in a Cell By: Michelle Lu Life forms from a cell and thrives from it, But it also is entrapped by it. As it multiplies, it grows. And as it grows, we grow and so do our thoughts. We become more intricate, more complex And it doesn’t get any simpler. We grow and we thrive, But we also shrink and entrap. Entrap what you may ask? Our very selves you see. In that same cell we once grew out of, That very cell that once opened us to life, Now does the exact opposite. Prime time reaches its end [As all things do] Cells slow, Life slows, Even our thoughts. We begin to look at life more. Much simpler, Much less mad. Calmer, Happier. 7

Balance By: Emma Smithwick Mom and Dad, you’ve taught me To work hard, and to play hard. To live humbly, and to enjoy life’s pleasures. To remember good times, and to make new ones. To be happy with myself, and to strive to do better. Not to hear, but to listen. Not to just speak, but to act. Not to be ashamed, but to be proud. Not to stand by, but to stand up. Not to be an echo, but to be a voice. Not to give in, but to press on. To think about others, and myself. To give, and to accept. To stay in line, and to think outside the box. To find my place, and to make my place. To be inspired, and to inspire. But most of all, that life is all about balance.

Easter Day By: Sean Edwards The blue, the pink, the yellow, the green The white bunny with blue eyes so keen The smell of chocolate candy in the air As the children run from here to there Searching, searching for an egg so bright Looking quickly for the treasure out of sight However nostalgic these memories may be This day is glorious for the sacrifice of he The man who gave it all for us Whose actions are of the God we trust 8

The Struggle of the Heart and Mind By: Sean Anderson Some people say that you must choose, Between using your head and using your heart. One can make you too cold, And the other isn’t very smart The mind is the wise one, Calculated, decisive, and logical, Following the straight and narrow. Why would it need anything else?

The heart is the kind one, Caring, generous, and sympathetic, Full of love for others Why would it need anything else? But the heart loves the mind, While the mind always thinks of the heart. Like the pen and paper, Each devoid of purpose without the other. They do not seek to destroy each other. They have just been told they must. If they can find balance in their struggles, They can prevail together.

A Dog’s Love By: Ava Swallow Always has your back It’s the purest form of love Your forever friend

An Unforgettable Best Friend By: Katie Canal Never would I have ever thought that this one furry creature could have such an impact on my life. From the second I walk through the door, I am greeted by a friend that is beyond excited to see me. Whether I was gone for five minutes or for 12 hours, the excitement levels were always through the roof. Wagging his tail so much that he could hardly stand. This is a built-in friend that needs no communication. He knew when I was sad and just when I needed a cuddle from him. He was more comforting than most humans have ever been for me. He never judged me, rather he loved and accepted me for who I was. The odd thing about these furry creatures is that we are their whole life yet they are just a fraction of ours. A year ago today, I lost my best friend. No other dog can replace the love that I felt for him. While he may have only been in my life for 9 years, his short lived life will impact me for the rest of my life. He is my unforgettable BEST FRIEND.

Sisterhood Anonymous “You’re going to be a big sister”, I was told I wasn’t told the ups and downs it comes with Three year gap is smaller than I thought With more attitude and sass than me She ruffled my feathers Over the years, bickering and fighting “She stole my shirt” “She hit me first” “She changed the channel” The little things of course Five minutes go by Nothing even happened What I always yearned for the sister bond everyone talks about Finally came to reality Still a work in process, but its now “Do you need something to wear?” “Can I give you a hug?” “What do you want to watch?” What separated us now unites us A bond that is unbreakable Only up from now My little sister, my best friend 11

Childhood Dreams Cassie Chapjian I was carefree in that unique ranch of my parents, Days consisted of hours playing outside on those six acres of land, It would take more than sundown or the insects of the pinelands to summon me inside, Those were the glory days. I looked forward to fun and games at preschool, Hoping that a classmate had a birthday so that I can enjoy a treat. Once midday hit, my blue and green mat made the perfect bed for a nap, Those were the glory days. My wooden swing set felt like my very own castle, I found joy playing by myself on the wobbly blue slide, I felt like the queen of my parent's perfectly polished backyard, Those were the glory days. My bright pink bedroom doubled as a toy store There was not a chance that I could ever be bored with 4 ft tall Barbie house I was content with my art table that had every craft supply imaginable Those were the glory days. My mom would spend hours picking out my clothes in the morning, And somehow she always matched the color schemes perfectly I wondered why she was so invested in an outfit that I was just going to spill chocolate milk on. Those were the glory days. My young self would pretend my pink electric car was a real automobile I would fantasize about high school as I saw it in Disney movies I envied my babysitter who was living the teenage dream– Alas, I am living my Glory days.

Growing Pains By: Vicky Bui

What Would I Do Different By: Vicky Bui A world uninspired Surviving but not living This is the world we are. What would I do different?

Water, sunshine, soil, attention, love, and care. People can only hope for their seedlings to thrive. They know too well the storm that threatens spring’s blooming. They build great greenhouses both grand and made of glass. Large enough for the world, but not for sprouting roots. For all dreams and prayers cannot stop growing pains.

A world lacking imagination The repetition of events This is the world we are What would I do different? A world desensitized Shots seen but not heard This is the world we live What would I do different? A world in love Love inspired, imaginative, sensitive, and unified This is the world we are not. That is what I would do different. 13

World Peace By: Harrison Orr Since living creatures existed on the planet, Violence has never begun to cease. Unthinkable things have been accomplished Yet we are still searching for world peace. Instead of looking for common ground, Or negotiating any differences. A recurring solution of fighting arises, But never any compromises. One may assume people never change, According to history, this may be true. But if everyone comes together for a common purpose, We may be able to change history where peace begins to pursue.

“Worms are in the Part of my Brain that Love You” By: A√ bby Dlug One day, My body will remain, But my memories will be lost to time. The very body I explored the world with Will return to earth, My contract up, with time as the punctual lender. My face will blend with the ground around me, Eyes seeing nothing but the worms calling my skull home, My ears will hear nothing but rebirth, Atoms and elements being carried away from what I called myself, To be used by those who need it more. I like to think that the material that made me, me, Will one day find its way back to those I loved. When I die, Which I will, I cannot take you with me, So instead I leave myself behind. Even if what's left of “me” is now minuscule and scattered, Even if I become the leaf they step on, Or the flower they pluck, Or the bug they squashJust because I am no longer here Does not mean that the essence that made me went away too.

We’re made of borrowed time and borrowed material, But all the love, All the memories, All the connections, Those are organic, man-made, and non-refundable. Of course, it's the things that matter most that you cannot seeI can’t leave love behind, As love isn't a physical thing. But when the earth beacons me to bed one final time, Know that while my body returns to the Dirt my ancestors were created fromI leave you not just a gravestoneBut the knowledge that my love Will make its way back to you As all things do.

Possibilities

By: Alex Pobre Look outside your window and you will find many different trees No one is exactly like the other Look outside your window and you will find many different animal species Able to roam freely on the earth with one another Look outside your window and you will find an infinite number of possibilities Yet here we are, as unique as the trees and as free as the animals But confined by the walls of cubicles. We never dare to peek over the walls constructed by Society Who gives us one-size-fits-all rules And his prescription is the same for all: Go to school, go to college, get a job, get married, have children, then die. He says never veer off of this golden path, for the man that does will fall Into a life with no meaning at all However, one day, a conformist studied what was outside his window carefully And saw the beauty of the animals and the trees So one day he disobeyed Society And peeked over the walls of his cubicle And veered off the path And found bliss in his pursuit of possibilities

Move On Anonymous Do not preserve the beauty of something you do not wish to keep. Move on, move on, As dried flowers crumble under the slightest touch. Do not preserve the feeling of a memory you do not wish to revisit. Move on, move on, As pockets of rocks weigh down the traveler. Do not revisit nightmares in the presence of the sun, Move on, move on, As mold contaminates everything it touches, And oftentimes nightmares are the inverse of dreams. Of Any Other Name Do not seek to look behind, Move on, move on, As impatience and regret so often haunts Orpheus, And it is better to be deaf to the sounds

Anonymous Rows of petals turned red from Aphrodite’s shed tears for Adonis What other flora could capture the divine betrayal Bleeding from beloved blooms Yet you know not of your thorns So I will return in Springtime A budding hope A rose of any other name would smell just as sweet But no other flower could compare

Daydreaming By: Emma Barger Perhaps life would be easier if we allowed ourselves to drift every now and then and entertain the possibility of other worlds. Worlds which bend the laws of reality, and are free from that which holds us back. They say the brain has trouble differentiating between that which is fictional, and that which is real, when one becomes too attached. It is fascinating that we are capable of forming bonds with people who do not exist, fed only by the situations we create in our heads. A friend maybe, a parent. Someone who we grow to love even though they are not real. We give them a voice, a face, a personality; we make them so real we trick ourselves into believing they are. We feel their loss every second we are not thinking of them, like an itch, and we long for them even though we know we will never feel the touch of their skin, or the safety of their embrace. It is tragic really, the addiction of escape.

To Green By: Natalie Pilaitis As fresh as grass, As young and careless. Blending in, But finding your own path. Everything is new, and Everything is good. Just as it should be. Freshman. To Yellow, A happy year. Settling in and finding your crowd, Smiles as big as the sun, And an endless amount of time. This will be easy, School is fun, at least for now, Sophomore. To Red, Income the struggles, The stress, The frustration, The after tears red face, And sleepless nights. This is the most important year they say, So do your best! But it is hard and it is rough, Oh I can’t wait for next year to come. Junior.

To Blue, The farewell tour. Goodbye to this, and Goodbye to that. Goodbye to everything you Have known the past four years. Craving the freedom and the Next step in life. Yet not quite ready to make that jump. Everyone wants it to be over, Until it's over, and it can’t be taken back. Senior.

My Farewell to Highschool By: Katie Canal

To my parents, Thank you. For raising me full of morality and ethics. You have instilled with me skills that I will carry with me through life. You have given me the opportunity to be able to express myself. Most importantly, you have both stuck by my side and supported me in everything I do. Thank you to my parents for sending me to Bishop Eustace A place where I have met my friends for life. To my friends, Thank you. For giving me the confidence to be myself. For filling every one of my days with laughter and joy. You all have been there with me through all of my highs and lows. Most importantly, you guys have never given up on me. Thank you to my friends for sharing four years of the best of times; Times that will shape my future. To my future, I have so much hope for you. So much anticipation to see what is to come. I hope that I am successful in wherever life takes me. I hope that I become the person that I have always wanted to be. I hope that I can one day say.. “Thank you to my past, for giving me the life I had always dreamed of!” 22

Home By: Natalie Pilaitis It fits me so well, The warmth, The wardrobe, The wins I can see myself here! But it is so far, Will I get home sick? Am I selling myself short? What about after? It is only a plane ride home… I love this one too! So many familiar faces, The atmosphere, The programs, I could see myself here! But the cold! Am I just falling for something I am used to? I should branch out. Right? I have always wanted to go here though… “I see you here, but I see you there”. “Are you really going to go there? That is really far.” “What about connections?” “If you don’t go here…” “You have two really good options!” “I want to talk about college…” (sigh)

SUMMER

Silent Lake By: Aidan McKeon A silent lake under the moon, Mysterious and idling. To a stranger, frightening, A foreboding lagoon. While yet to another, A light in the dark, An opportunity to remark, Remembering each other.

Freefall By: Abby Dlug Oh, and I am falling, But I would be lying if I said I did not enjoy the wind in my hair. I feel my body as weightless as I am When I laugh, And my arms spread out in a hug to the Ever growing ground approaching me. I know my destiny, But at this moment, only gravity is my God. Oh, and I am falling, Uncontrollable, Weightless, Free, But I would be lying if I said The fall was frightening

Memories flooding back, The water of the lake remains still. Likewise, his expression intact, Unfazed by his mind’s will. Stoic and alone he is now, Together, they were found. A creative procrastinator Can relate to a

The Missing Piece By: Aidan Higgins

There is something in the world that is just not right. Not the wars that are fought and the blood that is spilled, Not the homeless men, women, and children that struggle to survive, Not the killing of innocent children have not been given a chance of life to fulfill, Certainly not the evil that humanity allows to survive; A question that requires some light. The answer is much simpler than you might think. It could be the lack of responsibility that the world should share, It could be the refusal of lending a helping hand, It could be hardships that we, alone, are too weak to bear, It could certainly be the code of morals everyone claimed to brand; Truthfully, the world is completely out of sync. The answer is love. Love is helping someone in need, Love is providing comfort in dark times, Love is rooting out evil that infects society like a weed, Love is correcting all of the previously stated crimes; This answer must be sought out, not just spoken of. 26

The Mist of the Sea By: Andrew Waldstein

The mist of the sea Brings me back To the free nature Of the open ocean. Some enjoy the forest, Where green trees line the path. But I enjoy where waves crash Across the deep blue horizon. I’ll never again stray From the sandy past The mist of the sea Brings me back.

The Ocean’s Two Identities Anonymous

Big and blue, Salty and green, Angry and ferocious Calm and clean. Inhabited by creatures, Many have never seen. The ocean is unpredictable, Sometimes welcoming Others cordoned. Enter with caution, But never fail To recognize its beauty. 27

OCNJ By: Bella Fante You wake up gently along with the colorful sky over the ocean, Biking, exploring the town waiting for high tide. Running down the boardwalk you’re submerged in a sea of sweet Johnson’s popcorn, while across the street the friendly barista awaits your visit, coffee order prepared. Walking to the local surf shop, amazed this is your “work”, you spend the day laughing and connecting with other employees, common interests and the ocean air connecting you to those thirty years older, you relate to everything they have to say. Casually, friends stop in to shop or chat, the day passing by in a flash. It is 8 pm, the sun again colorful just setting over the bay, you drift to sleep dreaming of another sun, another promising day to come.

Delayed Gratification By: Emily Sobieski Psychology tells of delayed gratification, expectations of work, postponing of gain. Rowing teaches this psychological concept, in the most painful way. Expectations of effort, each and every day. Surrounded by challenge, becoming the flames, enduring anguish, all for futuristic gain. Seeping with passion, my body broken yet empowered, the time has finally come… time to cash out.

A Tribute to Track By: Sean Anderson Why do you run? What are you running from? Where are you going? Why are you in such a hurry? It’s an energy outlet, a break from the day. It’s all my choice, nobody sent me astray Dedication and preparation for each meet is the gameplay. There is such limited time provided by each day, So why do anything else? 29

The Night

By: Louis LaRatta For some, the night is a time of rest. An escape from the toil of the day, Nothing can tax the mind, Its purpose solely for sleep, For others, the night is another episode of day’s work. Done with the meetings, classes, and practices, Only to find new responsibilities at home, That are hardened by the exhaustions from day. For me, the night is a time of growth. The darkness counts the sunlit experience, Allowing for reflections while the world closes its eyes.

The Struggle of Love By: Sean Edwards

The struggle and fight To create a world so bright So we reunite

War

By: Morgan Judge All is fair in love and war Is what people seem to say They sit in their cars, living comfortably As people fight to stay A country stands for their flag They watch it burn to shreds Tyrants greed and evil need To control a population’s spread A community fighting for love in war Their minds growing tired We sit and watch on our TV screens Surrounded by life’s desires All is pain in love and war For Ukraine we will not ignore

Windows By: Vicky Bui I opened the shutters for the first time today. An array of colors lasting a whole lifetime, never will I forget how beautiful, brightly shining, how lovely it had been. In such a short while, it was gone with the wind. My eyes saw monochrome, yet my heart still saw it. Those windows once shut close, would never close again.

Kangaroo Pouch By: Ben Didio Cold or Scared A Baby Roo Hides In Their Mother’s Pouch, But There Comes A Time Where It Must Leave, The Cruel World Doesn’t Fight Fair, But Only Through Experience Can One Grow, Progression Takes Time, Change Is difficult, But every Roo Must Leave Their Mother’s Pouch Comfort Is Temporary And Change Is Constant, But Life Is Full Of Joy And Excitement, The Sky’s the Limit, But Not for the Roo Who Never Left Their Mothers Pouch. 32

The Art of Babysitting By: Sara Ledyard I became a babysitter this summer. I thought it would be easy money with flexible hours- a simple way to make some cash before college. Boy, was I wrong. The days dragged on while I was simultaneously dragged around the houseplaying with this, looking for that, cleaning up this, and making that. After a blazing trail of play was made through the house, I turned around to find an incomprehensible kind of mess. So, I cleaned. But when I turned around again, there was another blazing trail of play for me to pick up. I wanted to quit and get a more conventional type of job. Taking care of three little people and a rambunctious puppy wasn't exactly as easy as I had thought. But something told me to hold on. So I did. My hours increased, as did the bags under my eyes. When I became frustrated, I reminded myself that they were only children. Not only were they children, they were God's children. I wasn't obligated to watch these little ones, but I was privileged enough to take care of God's little blessings. Somewhere along the way, I realized that these little ones were becoming my own. When they hurt, I hurt. When they cried, my heart broke. When they were angry, I was angry with them. The same went for them. When I hurt, they hurt.

When I cried, they comforted me as best they could. When I was angry, they were ready to go toy guns-a-blazing at whoever or whatever made me upset. They became my little people. As I approached my last few days of sitting, I realized how much I would miss them. That's the amazing thing about children: They will drive you insane, make you play 100 different games, fight with each other, kick, and scream until you want to pull your hair out; but the good moments are so good that it doesn't even begin to compare to those bad fleeting seconds. I will never forget the sparkle in my little girl's eyes when we danced and twirled in the kitchen as I made macaroni and cheese for lunch. I will never forget the way that my youngest boy would make a game out of everything and find a way to show love and affection to his siblings. I will never forget the way my oldest seemed almost older than me, with the way he knew so much about the world and approached everything with eyes of love and compassion and wonder. I will never forget the tickle fights, the afternoons on the swings, the dance parties in the kitchen, and the many games of hide and seek. I will never forget their precious smiles and the gleaming hope ever present in their eyes. so, even though it was an unconventional type of summer job, I learned lessons of patience and selflessness and love and kindness that I will carry with me throughout my life. Their kids became my kids.

Friendship Anonymous

Neon Light

Friends are a key component of life Someone who shares the same interests, morals, and goals as you Your friends are a reflection of who you are as a person. People to make lifelong memories with Laugh uncontrollably until you can’t feel your stomach. Spend countless hours together, doing stupid stuff But you enjoy it all because you’re with them. A true friend.

By: Ben DiDio The Blinding Sight of Neon Light, A Visual Distraction With A Piercing Bite, Attention Seeking Climbing Heights, Shining With The Stars So Bright, Red, Green, And Blue Don’t fight, Producing The Blinding Sight of Neon Light, Visual From Every Flight, Sending A Shock Of Fright, The Blinding Sight of Neon Light!

The Lion

By: Bryce Miller

The lion stands proud. Knowing that no one touch him. Until he is touched.

Our Nation By: Adam DeAngelis Riddled with hate, a world so wrong Sometimes what we need is song Take a step back, breathe fresh air Take a personal day and brush your hair Step away from the screens listening to hate Disconnect from the virtual world, see a mate Love each other as He has said Lift each other up instead Share a smile with another Visit your brother Unity is the goal, a family is one To win the game of life it must be done

Imagination By: Michelle Lu

A wonderful treacherous thing. Beauty thrives, Creation is made, Happiness lies, And yet a dark and horrid dream, Full of monsters, Lurking, Taking everything that’s left of you. Blinding, Opening, Imagination. 36

FALL

Life Goes On By: Live Falocco Time to move on Time to pack up A journey of a lifetime soon awaits It’s a rush At least that’s what people say. Soon my friends will be gone My family will stay at home But I will be moving far Time is inevitable But life goes on Wishing people a farewell Giving hugs and showing smiles I know this is not the end We will all change As soon as September rolls around Cheers to a new life awaiting Through the tears and sadness There is a sense of joy in our hearts I will see you all soon As you all hold a special place in my heart But Life goes on

A Day in My Life By: Natalie Ronan 5 a.m. the alarm clock pings And the day begins 6 a.m. practice starts And the blades break the water 7 a.m. I put the uniform on And the anxiety, pressure, sets in for the day 8 a.m. and the bell rings And prayer, pledge, announcements start 9 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. the anxiety rises and falls And the work piles on until it feels like you cannot breathe 3:00 p.m. I arrive at home And stare at all the work that needs to be done 5:00 p.m. the wheels of the erg begin to spin And the second workout of the day begins 6:00 p.m. Dad yells, “Dinner’s ready” And the daily recap is said 7:00 p.m. and the studying begins And the fight with my eyes and brain begins 10:00 p.m. the homework continues 11:00 p.m my eyes shut And the insomnia sets in 5:00 a.m. the alarm rings again And the day repeats again.

It Continues Anonymous

And the day came, It all disappeared. It was time to say goodbye, To the place you grew up, The friends that loved you and the place you belonged. And the day came, When it all was new. A fresh start and an open path, A road of unknown but untapped opportunity. The duality of it feeling so scary and exciting at the same time.

And the day came, We packed our clothes and drove through darkness to hopefully find a light. The light contained hope, New friends, new activities, and new life. No one was prepared for leaving, but we were ready for a new beginning. And the day came, The car started. It was packed with our possessions and my family, As we drove into the unknown. On the road to a new home I could see the light of new possibility… 40

Just another day Anonymous First it’s eating breakfast No, actually first it’s waking up after only 4 hours of sleep Then it’s eating Wait, no after waking up it’s early morning practice Finally then I get to eat breakfast, but don’t take too long Quickly I frantically get ready for school while studying It’s the millions of tests I have everyday that occupy my every second And every open space in my brain Then my day really starts by sitting in class Listening, doing work, trying my best not to fall asleep 2:30 hits and I'm finally free! But for only a half an hour Then I’m on my way to practice again for three hours I endure some of the hardest training ever In simpler terms: practice is Death When that’s finally done I get to go home Yay time to rest, Nevermind I have things to do: Eating dinner, shower, walk my dog, and hours of homework Then finally, sleep! Sleep is the thing I look forward to every day It’s the first time I really get to breathe all day The first time I can hear my thoughts and have time for myself Then suddenly my alarm goes off And it’s the next morning Ugh.

Family By: Adam DeAngelis Family has a type of love It may not be the same for all In your home, in the classroom, on the field Family is those that push you, those that care for you, and those that love you Family helps you achieve your goals Family is there at your greatest failures Family picks you up when your down To share a smile and brush you off To accomplish that which is your greatest goal Family

pen is permanent. by: sara ledyard i remember a time in my life where i felt that i couldn’t even write in pen. it felt too permanent, too scary. i was in a phase of mistake making, and even the smallest things, like spelling a word wrong in blue ink, felt like too much to handle. 42

Fatherly Wisdom Danny O’Rourke Never attending college is a disease many people never want to catch Even in a pandemic world, this disease is greater than all. “You can’t have anything without it” they say or “You’ll never be successful.” Who decided that? Who gets to decide how we live our lives? A class clown drunk with years of language stemming from a clubhouse and baseball diamond. A non-scholar at college told that he would never amount to much, He’s still the smartest person I know. The wise lessons of life coming periodically through a year-long season. If you’re going to do something right, do it right the first time. Check your ego at the dugout; when it’s gametime it’s game on. The smartest person I know is a simple blue-collar worker from a poor neighborhood in Philadelphia. A single row home son turned to a Father of three children, All without a college degree

My Role Model By: Dan Dermody My best friend, my role model, my father, You have taught me countless lessons throughout the 18 years I have called you my dad. You taught me how to hit a baseball, ride a bike, perform basic arithmetic, but more than anything you taught me what a good work ethic looks like. While you never directly spoke to me or taught me what a strong work ethic consists of, you showed me every single day by the way you live. Every day, grinding away to give mom, Julia, and me the best life possible. Whether it be as an employee, a father, a husband, or a friend you always give 100%. Your workday starts at 9, but every day I see you leave the house before 7. One time I asked you why you get to work so early and your response was simply, “There’s work to be done.” You give me the same response when you don’t get home until 10 at night. This is something I will always take with me. The days where I stay up late at night doing homework and just want to sleep, I think of you. The early mornings when I don’t want to get out of bed, I think of you. Whenever there is something I don’t want to do, I think to myself, “What would dad do?” and the answer is always the same: “if there is work to be done, he would do it.” You have taught me it is important to always put in the work because that is what separates you from the rest. That is how you succeed in life. That is how I will succeed in life. 44

Brothers By: Dan Dermody “Brother- a man or boy in relation to other sons and daughters of his parents.” This is the definition of the word “brother” that can be found in the dictionary, However, brother has a different meaning to me. A brother is not someone who must be of the same blood as you; A brother is someone who you share a deep bond with, Someone who you always want the best for no matter what. I am lucky to call every member of my basketball team my brother. Last summer I was stuck debating whether or not I wanted to rejoin the basketball team after my absence due to covid. I knew there would not be much playing time for me but there was something that drew me towards the team anyway. I couldn’t have told you what that magnet-like force was back then, but now I know. It was the brotherhood that would come with being a part of that team. When I returned to the team I joined some guys that I would have already considered my brother, but some of the younger guys I didn’t really know yet. Through our successes and our failures, the bond we created together became extremely strong; we had formed a brotherhood. We all began to prioritize our brothers and the team's success over our own individual success. That is what brothers do. I will never forget the feeling when our brother, Joey Callahan, hit a game-winning, buzzer-beater three to beat St. Rose in the first round of the playoffs. That feeling perfectly describes what brotherhood is to me. Nobody cared how many minutes they played, how many points they scored, or that they weren’t the one to make the shot; All we cared about was celebrating Joey’s big shot and the team's success in advancing to the next round. Unfortunately, we lost our next game and that marked the end of our success, But that was not the end of our brotherhood. These guys will be my brothers for life and I know they feel the same way. This team proved to me that a brother does not have to be your blood. I could not be happier that I decided to rejoin the team last June as I now have the privilege of calling these guys my brothers for life.

The Death of An Athlete Anonymous As I opened my eyes the tanned hardwood around me seemed red Rolling over onto my back, staring at the domed ceiling I felt a pain in my head An unfamiliar face was knelt by my side, her lips moving but no words were heard Then another was bent over me, hands on his knees, but I couldn’t tell who as my vision blurred Is this the end? 4 years, countless hours spent dribbling a ball, and running sprints The white 1 5 on my jersey now brandished a new red tint. This would mark a solemn end to my sporting career It had gone quiet in the gym, everyone filled with fear I couldn’t even recall my final play And it all happened on my father’s birthday. With him by my side We’d take a long ride Hours in the hospital, doctors saying it was no big deal, all prudent Except it meant I was no longer a studentathlete, simply a student.

College By: Ava Swallow The day is coming

When we have to say our goodbyes What once felt like dream Is here in the blink of an eye It is time to leave home And my loved ones behind To step out of my comfort zone As I try not to cry Some faces I may never see again I have enjoyed our time together I hope to one day cross paths Because I will cherish our memories forever This all feels so bittersweet All new people, a whole new story 46

One Last Time By: Louis La Ratta One last year to take the ice, To finish the crusade of youth. Faced with the blunt fact, I am nearing the end of my contract. One last month to defend the crease, To wear the armor proud. Even under heavy fire, It is my only desire. One last week to win a title, To chase the crown of glory. Journeying across the seas, I just don’t want to it to cease. One last day to play the game, To fight the final battle. Left gazing into the sky, I realize I must say goodbye.

Innocence vs. Experience Anonymous When you start something, you start with innocence The world has not battered you yet Your eyes are opening to the vast world in front of you Moments pass, plans are made, they fall through You gain experience The experiences replaces the innocence Naiveté is replaced by learned knowledge You wish to go back to a time with only innocence And yet you are so glad you have experience This is the dilemma of innocence vs experience. 47

Pick Me

By: Emma Fretz You walk around And flaunt. You question, “Oh my goodness… You’re going to eat all of that?” You lose sight of life’s delectable desires For the chase of an unattainable waist. You walk around And assume. You inform, “Oh, don’t worry… You can just find the money within the next week” You overlook others financial means As your privilege distorts the real image. You walk around And conform. You exclaim, “Pshh… What do you mean? I’m just one of the boys” You crave the validation From the men who won’t be there in the end. You walk around And lose. You wonder, “What… Where did everyone go?” You don’t realize that everyone likes the real you Not someone who isn’t proud of their crowd. 48

Media By: Morgan Judge Woken up by my phone’s alarm Checking my most recent text Driving to school listening to songs Wondering which will come next Sitting in school typing work Looking at my computer screen To go home to do more work Trying to keep my room clean Watching TV with my dad Hoping to spend some time When reality sets I realize The media is making us all blind The new world order is beneath our feet I wish to grow up when we’d simply play in the street

Circles: the Symbol of Perfection By: Carly Serlenga The strive for circles from the dawn of time, became the reason for all women’s cries, Due to the standard that defines girl crime. Bliss only comes when your perfect circle dies. Slim waist, pretty face, beautiful smile How will I achieve circle perfection? Must I hide my flaws and unique style? No one deserves this kind of rejection. To the girl who struggles with disorders because she listened to the public ear, And fights herself because of its orders, I have something you really need to hear: You will see the rainbow when bliss is reached And bliss will come when your circle is breached 49

Unnamed Poem Christina Kouyoumdj Door? Or wheel? Team door or team wheel? “Well, I think there are more…” “Did you do the assignment?” “Yeah, I stayed up all night…” Door? Or wheel? But to make an accurate judgment We must analyze What is a door? What is a wheel? Door? Or wheel?

not a wheel? We need a definition for it to work…” Door? Or wheel? “... can make a sliding door a wheel, though.” “An extension of the axis? Really? Sure...” Door? Or wheel? It’s the Function vs. Form debate Does its use cancel out its intended purpose? Door? Or wheel? “But if you integrate its new use into its original name…” “Yeah, but it is still a door” Door? Or wheel?

“Well, it depends on if you think of a door as a gateway Or if you mean just the physical object.” “What’s that supposed to mean…”

“Sure, its purpose is to be a door But that doesn’t matter if it isn’t being used as one.”

Door? Or wheel?

What really qualifies as one or the other? How technical of a definition is the right level?

But how to define purpose? Does the sliding glass door, Which uses wheels to operate, Become a failure because its use defies its purpose?

Door? Or wheel?

“But seriously, what makes something a door and Door?

Or wheel? Are we, who place such an emphasis on “living out your purpose”, As all the bloggers and theologians say, Rendered failures for choosing our own path? Door? Or wheel? Does our predefined destiny refer to living out our lives to our personal satisfaction? Or to doing what we are meant to do, Our purpose? Door? Or wheel? If we never reach the destination That the system pur in our GPS, Did we even make the journey? and does it even really matter? Door? Or wheel?

Defined without our input. Door? Or wheel? We determine what makes a door a door, What makes a wheel a wheel Categorize every object to someone else’s liking Function within their system. Door? Or wheel? As long as we fulfill our purpose… destiny realized renders satisfaction useless. It wasn’t a waste… Right? right?

But wheels, right?

But if we work, We reach our destiny, Can we learn to live without happiness? As long as we have approval, right? Door? Or wheel? As long as we focus, Work hard, persevere We fulfill our purpose.

Confliction

By: Giovanni Pastino Why bother? Why commit? Why sit there and ponder? Why must the innocent duck, Gingerly treading the crystalline waters, Fall victim to a grotesque and belligerent fate, Laughed at by all the scoffers Who’s lying? Who’s dying? And who’s actually trying? Sometimes I wonder How the dimmed, hollow trees Who have seen war, crimes, and tragedies, Can conjure enough aurora to bud leaves

Where did I fly off to? Where did the good times go? Where is the person I could lean on, forever and through?

Why must the young, gallant knight, Slay the conscientious king? For fame? For glory? Or to fill a suppressed void, Which not even the knight knows, To make his desolate spirit shine bright?

Who to trust? Who to believe? Who to love? Who is he, the commander of the ineffectual? Who have I wronged? How have I wronged them? What is the point of it all? Are all our efforts completely futile? Where is the light? Where is the break? Why? 52

Friend or Foe

By: Michelle Lu The one who knows us best is our best friend, But the one who hurts us most is a foe. So they say Your best friend is yourself Because that is you and what is close to you. Then why is it that you yourself can ruin you? Self-doubt, Self-hate, All the things that happen occur in you. Anxiety, depression, Feelings of loneliness, darkness, All reside in you. So are you really a friend or foe?

Conflicted

By: Michelle Lu What makes a good person good? And what makes a bad person bad? The answers never set in stone. We must follow our hearts. Well what if our hearts are not right? Trust yourself, follow your heart, What are the good of these phrases, If one can only find themselves questioning it? Is it that they just can’t make a decision? They can’t fully trust themselves yet? Or is the advice given not always right? What is right and what is wrong? Life always is seeking out this truth. And yet it might be right in front of us.

But it also may not. Or maybe we’re the one’s doubting it. But what if it is wrong? Doubt again? As humans we are weak, We can’t always be on guard, Not always be the best we can be. We can fall, hard too. But we can also fly above and beyond. Yes, everyone’s different, but all one in the same. We all have one goal to reach the top. We can come about it in many ways, As we are all different But we could also be led astray and fall, Never getting back up. We fall in a bottomless pit of self-doubt, Questioning the right, Questioning the wrong, Following right to wrong and wrong to right. And yes, as humans we’re not perfect. So of course we make mistakes. Call me an overthinker or whatever, But truly when will we be able to know? Will it take years, decades Or maybe just never? Maybe at some point we’ll understand. Impatience is part of our very nature, We are corrupted after all. But we strive to fix that right? So then again, people may never understand the truth in their life, So we just “follow our hearts” and what we think is right, Or sometimes we just follow others whether it’s right or wrong Which is better? Some may say well it depends, And others may say well if we are right follow it, And if others are wrong don’t follow.

It’s so simple right? No, well how do we know if it’s right or wrong —We don’t. Again we think what is right and that is just how life goes on. Improvements can be made from it but also disaster. Just as the very saying goes “with good comes with evil”. Call it philosophy or what not Or just child not full of enough experience But as you read this You and I may feel very conflicted or so you may not, Maybe I’m right and you see something in this Or maybe when I look back at this I’ve gained wisdom Or maybe this is the very wisdom that is not well recognized? Whatever it may be, that is for you to judge. Right or wrong, Wise or unwise. I’m not a human with words, but I can say that life itself is very indecisive Full of possibilities and paths, Until we meet the one who has set it in its very place All we can do is remain in theory—What is and How is it . . .

The Beautiful Game By: Armeen Kazemi Freshly cut grass, newly painted lines, the dawn of a new soccer season is here, Three years down, one to go, where has the time gone, I don’t know. A game some say, but to me, one last chance, and I’m full of fear, Expectations are high, seniors are leaders, how do I do that, I’m not a pro.

Never Give Up

Stuck on the sidelines, no help to any, I’d love to be out there, but alas I just cheer, Time is running out, my chances are slim, will I make it back, I sure hope so. Preseason’s a struggle, I don’t know why the coaches make it harder year after year. Wouldn’t you know it, one week before the season, my body is healthy and ready to go. Finally, the call comes from the doctor, Armeen your time is near, Heart beating fast, adrenaline pumping, coach calls me over, time to put on a show. I might not be the best, but I will always cherish my career, For the beautiful game is something that I will never outgrow.

By: Megan Morris In one moment everything can change One second I was running and the next I fell to the ground… snap To hear the sound of my ACL tearing was sickening and strange I was devastated but knew I could not fall into life’s treacherous trap Never give up There was no time to mourn or distress It was time to rise above and progress What was done was done and there was no going back The next nine months were there and ready for me to attack Never give up Adversity is difficult to overcome But challenges allow us to grow into the people we are meant to become

The Choice

By: Emily Sobieski I find myself learning how much of a choice love can be. As our plane, made for two, slowly departs from the ocean blue. We hit the ground running, then faced with reality; the ignorant bliss subsides as we learn of our divides. The Choice is imperfect, what we discover each other to be. Miscommunications arise, but still in you I confide. Harmonious? Not always, but I will choose to love you all days. This is where I learn how much of a choice love can be.

Seize The Day By: Bryce Miller

Will you seize the day? Or fall into utter despair? That is the true goal. 57

About Me

By: Britney Ruiz In grade three I wrote of a lady planting At eight years old I would have never realized the insight that poem gave about me A simple assignment I dreaded it did not give me much glee It told a lot about me I was the lady planting When it came to school Riding the bus on mornings which were foggy and cool On my way to school Making pumpkin loaf in enrichment classes Baked goods that made me drool I received great marks I was all about school But when I would arrive at home The flowers died Eight years old Tears fell from my eyes

The Eye By: Michelle Lu A uniqueness that views like no other Filled with colors Both dark and bright One that can see the shell of all things Yet the shell of all is only what’s on the outside It sees the beauty of colors, the beauty of people And yet is that really beauty that it sees Does it not see the inside of all things? Does it consider just one not the other? Is it not so quick to judge? Judging what it sees as a shell, And not treat both as equally important. Is it so quick to feign ignorance, Of what is and is not true? Is it really seeing the beauty of the world Or is it only seeing the bad that causes all evil? Truly, at times, is it a good for eyes such as these to have, To mislead us. Indeed, it is not good without balance. Is that not why we have ears to hear? Is that not why our ears hear to help perceive, Then having only the eyes doing the perceiving. We listen with our ears to seek the actual good, And see with our eyes The beauty that lies between good and evil. Only this may we avoid imbalance, injustice. Only this may we keep our eyes with the help of our ears. Only this may our eyes be of assistance then of decor, That we may use our sensations wisely as true men.

An Ode to the Sun and Moon By: Alexia McConaghy People merely glance up to you in the sky with no review, Not taking in your beauty or trying to understand you, But simply seeing and being ungrateful because it isn’t new. Like the buildings we create, and the technology we use, Why must the sun have to be new to be in our views? Dear sun, please pass God our forgiveness, We don’t yet understand how much he has given us. Our minds wander to the toys we have created, thus Pulling us from him no matter the outcome. When did we stop caring about where each of us has grown from? While the questions are arising like waves on an open shore, We must also begin to understand the moon we ignore. She has so much more to offer than a time for us to snore. This begins to beg the question, What would life be like without the sun and moon at our discretion? No one listens as the ice begins to melt, And our forests begin to smelt Under the heat of the maddening sun’s screaming belt. Our world is on fire along with our hearts, We need to stop creating and focus on our already existing parts.

Dear moon, I’m not sure why is it that we wish for more Beyond our already extensive world tour. We send ships to space, in case we destroy our own land with war. We use you as something nothing more than a tool, Can you forgive us our tresspasses, we are each a fool. An ode to the sun, I’m sorry, they don’t understand. An ode to the moon, I’m sorry, this isn’t what I planned. People begin to wonder why global warming is at hand, Yet somehow don’t blame themselves for what they have done. Then again we’re humans, we do this to ourselves by making God’s work feel shunned.

3:00 am

By: Abby Dlug I am the nothingness inside your head. The cold space between atoms, The pauses in your thoughts, The time between your breaths. I am the very thing you forget about, But I am with you always. I’m the wind in your hair, The force of gravity pulling you center, The final lull as you fall asleep. I am you but I am never tangible, I am you but I am everyone, Everywhere, Constantly. I am the forgettable unconscious hiccup In your day-to-day life. But if I loved you any less, The world’s spin would pause, And rain would shower upward to the heavens

The Void

By: Bryce Miller I put you over everything. In order to fill the void. Day in and day out. I know nothing but my goal. I run towards it without any regard. With the hope that it will make me whole. The days get longer The nights get shorter I rest and wake with only You on my mind. Those around me think I’m crazy, Depressed, deranged, paranoid. I put you over everything to fill the void What if the void were smaller, would I feel at peace? Or would I fall to pieces? Would I feel complete and at one with myself? Or would I feel complicated and alone with no one else? These question form after the fact because in the moment, I am only focused on you. You, who brought me so much joy. Once you left I felt the void. Leaving me helpless. Don’t ask me who “you” are. The answer varies from heart to heart. 62

Once the dust has settled And I come to my senses I think about what I could’ve done to make you come back to me Should I have thought with my head instead of my heart? These questions will only leave me annoyed As I sit here trying to fill the void.

WINTER

The Future

By: Emma Fretz Go to college Get your degree Get a job Start a family Do what is normal. I know you only get one life So, don’t take the risk Don’t chance your future On your dreams Stick to the realistic path Stay on the right path. Study that extra hour Get the better grade Reach top of your class Work in that successful field It will all be worth it in the end.

Your degrees, promotions Connections, and salaries Will provide limitless knowledge, Eternal happiness And endless sums. Success is the best It's not marked by joy People or experiences But by the materialistic And its bonus—it nums. No one successful wonders Why didn’t I follow my dreams? When did life become a competition? Why am I not happy? Where did I go wrong? Listen to what you're told Don’t disobey I can assure you All successful people Followed the same mold. 65

Father Time By: Aidan Higgins Youth is something sublime. Experience starts at birth, Where one is given their worth. In time they find their own path, Unaware of Father Time’s wrath. As the years go by, Man becomes more spry. They are not so easy to deceive, But rather, more capable to conceive. The game of time cannot be played forever, Man must eventually end their endeavor. Like a candle once lit, The flame dies out from the candle’s whit. No one escapes Father Time.

Selfish By: Michelle Lu

Is it selfish of me to want friends Who care about me Who support me Who see and share my sadness Or is it just selfish of me? Just . . . Overdramatic. Overthinking. Every single thought. I mean I do have friends. But are they willing Can’t they see the pain I’m in Or can they not Is that within their abilities Am I asking for too much?

Will anyone ever crush that wall Will anyone even help me understand Friends. Or will I just never understand Live to know but not live to experience. What good is that to live A life full of nothing, emptiness. Fighting alone is hard, but does that make you tough Or does it just diminish you to the very bone Was it really ever selfish of me to want someone to share The pain I felt for many years Did I cause this pain

I still feel alone Even with these friends of mine Nothing against them But I just truly feel this way. Every pondering thought comes back to this Am I alone or not? Am I just simply too focused on myself Not realizing the care they have for me Am I just too ignorant to understand that Too blind, too closed What did I do wrong to feel this way Have I built a wall

Did I overthink it Am I too focused on oneself to understand Or am I just hurt and blaming it oneself Am I too kind or too selfish Is it one or the other How can it be both Do I really not know nothing of this world Of friends.

I care But is it too much I’m there and I feel the same pain, As anyone else When they’re sad, I’m there Being positive all the time When really you feel broken Empty. Will this void ever be filled Or will I carry this secret forever To the grave.

I is wronged to want to be loved by others too Am I in the wrong when I’m the one hurting Where are they when I need them the most Nowhere or somewhere Laugh it off like it’s nothing Smile in pain Never reveal It’s hideous It will ruin the day . . . For everyone I don’t want that. Just smile and wave Positivity’s the best But it could also be my very death. A beautiful fragile vase made of strong material Yet it can be broken in seconds and unbroken in time.

A Modern Icarus Anonymous A spark A flame Kindling Flickering Burning Blistering Beloved Blessed Prometheus Promised Extinguished Blinded by smoke When I feel warmth again I almost remember The fiery glow and not the burning But still I can’t stop myself from seeing you In the glow of the street lamps The glimmer of the moon off the ocean The sun and the stars The darkness worsened by the remembrance of light

The Danger of Time Anonymous Time waits for no one, It passes however it may please, Leaving all beings under the sun Left at unease. One day young and free, The next withered and wise, You wonder where you let time slip you by. So for every morning you rise, Do not take your time for granted. Enjoy life while you can It is not everyday you are enchanted, With the gift of time.

Aging By: Harrison Orr From one’s first words to first steps, They’re always looking ahead. Time flies by before they know it, Until they start to reminisce before bed. Striving to grow and mature, One considers occupations to explore. But before one knows it, They are caught up in all of life’s tarpits. Sometimes we need to live in the moment, Not the future or the past. Make memories and travel the world, This is when our life begins to unfold at last. But before they know it, They will find themselves thinking, “Where has all the time gone? 70

Pandemic Rambling Anonymous I miss the way the world once was, Before the fear and restrictions. I crave the freedom, the way we weren’t always afraid, Before talks of illness and devastation were normal. I long for the days when kids were kids, And adults didn’t fight about who was right. I remember a time when leaders were respected, And people weren’t so divided. I dream of the day when we all get along, And hate and wars are over. I miss the way the world once was, Where anything felt possible. I crave the travel without worry, Where strangers shook hands. I long for the days when judgment is in the past

Cold February By: Michelle Lu It’s a cold February. Life goes on and on, With or without you.

So you try to keep up. But the pressure keeps rising until you can’t. You meet a wall, A wall of doubt. And so what do you do? Break and live. That’s right, you live. Live to know. Live to learn. Nothing’s foreseeable. But life can be hard. It can be difficult, It can be complicated. Make you want to throw yourself off a cliff. But even so, life is meant for success not for failure. People who do not understand have yet to see their success. To go on or not is their choice alone. Those who are living—lived. Til the very end they now know what is and is not. They know regrets and know success, They know what is called experience. But for those who have gone, leave knowing only of failure They leave knowing nothing of this world. Obtaining nothing, leaving their dreams either broken or made Only to leave in doubt, in fear.

The brave enough to end their lives become the cowards of life. Driven by fear, Scared to move forward, Scared to walk into the unknown—the unforeseeable. Meanwhile the coward can not do such a thing and can only continue to live, Becoming the brave—the strong. Like what happens after death? Unknown. What will happen to the people I know? Unknown. What is it that they will feel? Unknown. And so, you see To be brave is to live. To know is to live. Only may you obtain success with that in mind. So, people go through happy and sad moments. We all have emotions for better and for worse. They pose as a challenge, making us stronger, However, they can also lead us to rashness. But to know your own life you must live it yourself. No one can foreshadow it for you, no one can live it for you. Pondering on maybes will only hurt you and no other. So live your life, don’t be driven by fear. Live how you feel it should be done, Because only you can lead it. 73

panic. anonymous FIRST: the wave of tingling. my whole body jerks about. i know it's coming. i twitch to try and make it go away. then i'm numb. SECOND: the chest pain. this is when i know it's unavoidable. the shaking intensifies. my throat wells up. tears begin to escape from the dams in my eyes. i have to go. why is this room getting smaller? everyone knows. they can tell. they know. they see it. i know they do. stop looking at me like that. why are you staring? avert your eyes. please, i beg you, let me be invisible. THIRD: escape. now, there is nothing to do. but sit. and shake. and cry.

i smell the hot tears burning holes in my face. my vision blurs until i can no longer see reality. my stomach taunts me with vomiting, but never follows through. FOURTH: clinging to pieces of reality. five things i can see: my shoes. the floor of the bathroom. the crack in the tile to my right. the gum wrapper in the corner. the light peering in from the vent on the ground. four things i can touch: my hair. the caulk in between the floor tiles. my shoelaces. the wall supporting me. three things i can hear: the faint laughter of students down the hall. the creaky door at the bottom of the staircase. my heartbeat in my ears. two things you can smell: i faintly smell my perfume from this morning. i smell the stagnant sink water lingering. one thing i can taste: my defeat 75

Sorry

Reagan Burke Five small letters yet my mouth is sewn shut, I want to say sorry but it’s not enough. I am to blame for your sleepless nights, The words that I said I know weren’t right. If I could take the words back That caused you to cry, I would heal your heart cracks In the blink of an eye.

The problem remains The reason I can’t seem to say, Is the hurt that was felt was not one way. I know I am sorry but I need to hear it too, How is there respect when you know it is true. So here is my message in my own way, I am sorry that you cannot seem to say The five letters I hear in my head everyday. For I am the one kept up every night, and you are the one that wins every fight. The words you said constantly in my head, Until you repeat, the sorry can be dead. 76

The Question of Who By: Liv Falocco Who Am I? Who Are You? I feel so disconnected from the world My social skills have been stripped away How am I supposed to interact with the world? I see faces here and there But what am I supposed to say Who am I, who are you? The lingering thought goes on and on People no longer have a sense of self Facial expressions have been stripped away No longer can smile But can only show a wave Who am I, who are you? The words are in my head But fail to link to my mouth I feel speechless I have been isolated too long I lost my sparkle And I lost my glow Who am I, who are you? I continue to find myself asking who I am Who do I want to become What is my personality Truth is I do not know Nothing seems to fit me Questions are marching through my head But only one stays stagnant Who am I, who are you? 77

The Poison Light By: Christina Kouyoumdji There comes a time in life When people say “Look for the light at the end of the tunnel” You search and search Comb the night sky for the answer The star, the light Finally, it is found “The light! The light! Burning away so bright There, at the end of the tunnel!” You finally reach it Only to see It is not the star, nor the sun It is made by men Fake, fluorescent A fluorescent light Dimly lighting the space above As you wake in the care Of the nurse, the doctor

They struggle, restitching old injuries frantically trying to stop the bleeding and repair the broken pieces before It's too late and The light dims again, from scars cut anew, Old wounds reopened And despite the best efforts From those who can’t who won't understand your pain, The light fades You wake In the dark once again Seeking anew The Poison Light

The Model Minority Model By: Jenna Lozano Eyes like a fox is what they see; Behind these eyes anticipates intelligence; This expectation is what they perceive; Otherwise the person is marked with irrelevance. Hair so black represents the presence of power; Black is owed to the absence of light; The weight of success begins to devour; Hope begins to fade like a star, not so bright. A face so round brings mountains of fortune; This fact can disregard any hard work; Time and effort are reduced to distortion; Instead they believe it is simply a race perk. She suffers from the stress of success that they bellow And all because her skin just happens to be yellow.

Brainwashed Society By: Cassie Chapjian You find yourself scrolling for three hours Convinced that the figures in the small squares have superpowers. Longing to be like these women based on their feed, So envious of them that it fills you with so much greed. We define others by a small moment captured through a lens, And someone is looked highly upon if they are up to date with the trends. Our priorities have gotten lost in the competition to draw the most attention Getting under 100 likes has caused us to live with apprehension. Looking in the mirror only reveals cosmetic flaws, You tell yourself that you're a lost cause. Meeting society's standard of beauty consumes all of your time The lengths you will take to be like the perfect woman should be a crime. We are all accessories in this toxic game, Losing our pride to make a name. One of these days we must stop giving into temptation. I am worried for the future generation.

I’m Tired Emma Barger I ask, where can I turn? But to the sky, for which I'll burn Because I haven’t pledged my life to the voice which bears your light. To a sword which has two blades, one for love and one for hate. Still, even now I see blurred lines, With hazy edges, not defined. So many times I’m forced to choose, which battle I would rather lose. For when it comes to branded hearts, your voice will always play a part.

Scraping Ice By: Ed Crisonino Early morning, Everything is coated in icy dew I see my blue breath as I scrape the ice off my windshield.

Pimple

Anonymous I’ve got a pimple and I hate it I know nobody can see it I can cover it with makeup if I really need to I’ve tried popping it I’ve tried medicine I’ve even tried cutting it out of my skin But the pimple never goes away I look at my pimple in the mirror and I hate it I feel it on my arm all the time It’s starting to become more noticeable Makeup doesn’t have any effect on it I’ve tried to be healthier I’ve tried tracking its size I’ve even tried to make it sick But the pimple never goes away

7:00 AM feels like the witching hour. A cold, wet, fog veils the world in mystery. The possibilities are endless. But now it’s time for school 81

the tales of a “skinny” girl Anonymous how do i tell you i feel fat? no one believes me. no one respects my tears. no one sees myself the way i do. i see a huge, lanky girl. thin limbs. huge rib cage. gigantic love handles. disproportionate. unloveable. but skinny right? how do i tell you i feel fat? you roll your eyes at the thought. you tell me i’m crazy. are my tears not evidence? is my shaking not relevant? why don't i see what you see? you say it's the bikinior the shirtor the pantsit must not fit my body right. it couldn’t possibly be me. there is no reason for me not to be confident, you say. well, maybe it's not the clothing after all. maybe i am just -

A Lady Planting By: Britney Ruiz A lady planting Flowers speak to her all day They have a conversation They have fun talking Finally the flowers die No more peaceful talk

“Best Friend” By: Natalie Ronan My “Best Friend” Dear “Best Friend”, Thank you for holding me on by a string, Leading me into a dark hole, That I never thought I would return from. Thank you for turning my supposed best friends against me, Manipulating them into believing you, But we both know the truth, Thank you for teaching me, The importance of believing in ME And not others. Thank you, “Best Friend” 82

“The Machine” By: Abby Dlug

I can feel the familiarity in my chest, The hums of the machine in sync with my heart. I move with the tic and click of the gears, My lifeblood oiling this well-organized Machine. At what point, though, Does the Machine stop and the soul start? Are my actions dictated by my heart or brain? At what point, though, Did my brain become robotic, Severing all connections to my heart? Nevertheless, I continue, Observing- but never understanding, Reacting- but never empathizing. And I look at my cold mechanic hands And realize I cannot feel. When did I become this un-human, Disconnected thing that I am? When did my joints become replaced with gears, And my blood with oil? When did my soul give up, Leaving me with self-preservation As my only goal? I wish to return to my old, youthful self, Where I felt pain and joy just the same instead of nothing at allBut how do I return to A light I can no longer feel? 83

The Bronx By: Sara Ledyard My alarm clock jolted me awake from my slumber. As I peeled my sheets oﬀ of me, Leaving the warmth of my bed, I dressed myself for the day and got into the car, Excitedly picturing what my new life might look like. The whizzing of the world going by and the humming of the car’s engine lulled my tired mind to sleep. I awoke to find that we almost reached our destination. I sat in anticipation, Imagining all of the wonderful things just around the corner. We arrived at our destination just in time. I got out of the car and entered into the new world I was soon to be a part of. I followed my tour guide, Gawking in amazement at the place that I, Me! Could be living at in just a few months. As we strolled through campus, I pictured myself in various locations. I saw myself sitting at a table near the windows, Drinking coﬀee and studying for my exams. I saw myself in my dorm room, Laughing with my new friend and becoming more independent. I saw myself at the gym, Using their fancy equipment to strengthen my body. I could see it. That was the place for me.

I left in a state of awe. I discussed the beauty of the place I just saw with my family. We talked and talked and talked. As the conversation died down, The humming of the car’s engine lulled me to sleep once more. However, When I awoke, I was not in a beautiful place filled with opportunity. I asked my father, “Where are we?” He replied, “The Bronx.” Immediately, I was flooded with guilt. I pictured the people that inhabited the run-down, Dangerous buildings. I saw them waking up in the middle of the night, Hearing gun shots and praying to God that they would see the sunrise the next morning. I saw them struggling to pay for things, Eating small portions and fearing envelopes with big red stamps reading “LATE.” I saw them getting wrapped up in the wrong things, Choosing drugs instead of prayer and violence instead of peace. I was left in a state of sadness. I discussed the horror of the place I just saw with my family. Not much was said. We sat in silence.

Rich vs. Wealthy By: Alex Pobre The rich man had it all. He was the CEO of a very successful business. He took pride in his gold watch and designer clothes Holding his chin higher than all. He dressed his wife in the finest clothes And bought her everything because of his success. Insisting they had love that was eternal. He lived in a penthouse in a skyscraper High above the dirty streets and had no stress. However, the market crashed one day. And the rich man lost his successful business. He could no longer afford his gold watch and designer clothes His wife left him when he could not buy her everything He was evicted from his penthouse And kicked to the dirty streets below. As he walked sadly down the streets below. He encountered a jolly fellow dressed in rags with nothing at all. The fellow smiled and asked him “Why the slow drag?” The rich man responded “I lost everything!” Bothered by the fellow’s happiness the rich man continued “What a fool, you are smiling yet you have nothing at all!” The fellow laughed, “That's what makes me the wealthiest of them all.”

Societal Standards Anonymous Every day I wake up thinking of the same things How should I do my makeup? What should I do with my hair? How should I dress today? In simpler terms, what can I do to make everyone like me What do I have to do to fit in with everybody? I ask these questions everyday Yet everyday I’m still left wondering Wondering what I’m doing wrong Wondering why I don’t fit in with everyone else Why I don’t fit in with what society calls, “The Popular Crowd” Am I doing something wrong? Is it me or them? No, it's definitely me. I guess I should change my hair I should probably use more makeup I definitely need to get different clothes What else can I do? I need to act like them I need to eat less and be skinner Be the perfect image of society Then I’ll be happy. Then I’ll fit in.

broKen HanDs

By: Sara Ledyard why do i chew my hands when i can't control my thoughts? perhaps i'm inflicting my own pain, as a way to try and punish myself. my hands are a gift, yet i hate looking at them. they are dry and broken and short, remnants of the fragments of my mind. i destroy my own appearance. how am i supposed to make anyone see anything different? but a bitten down fragment of my hand, displaying the brokenness in my mind. 87