University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust
Patient information service St Michael’s Hospital
Bereavement book
Following the death of a baby Over 24 week’s gestation
There is no footprint so small that it does not leave an imprint on this world.
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Contents Introduction
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Making memories
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Dressing your baby
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Ways in which the hospital chaplain can help
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Naming or blessing for your baby
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The Sanctuary
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Registering the birth and/or death of your baby
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Register Office
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Arranging the baby’s funeral
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Book of remembrance
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Further information
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Psychological Health Services at St. Michael’s Hospital
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Useful telephone numbers
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Contact details for support groups
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Baby Mailing Preference Service
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Introduction Pregnancy loss and the death of a baby are devastating, and at this very painful and sad time, we offer you our condolences. The early days following bereavement can be bewildering and difficult. There are certain decisions and arrangements to make and in the case of post 24 week gestation babies, there are legal requirements to fulfil. This booklet has been compiled as a guide to help you with these choices. Members of staff will be happy to discuss any details requiring further explanation and to assist you in obtaining the information you need. Your wishes are important to us, and staff are here to help as you make difficult decisions.
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Making memories If you are well enough and wish to spend time with your partner and your baby, accommodation could be available in such rooms as the Lavender Suite or the Butterfly Room, depending on which ward you are in. These are quiet self-contained facilities and a stay in these rooms may help if you don’t wish to go home immediately. Your friends and family would be most welcome to visit you and your baby. Some parents wish to have photographs and other mementos as precious keepsakes. Such mementos could include handprints and footprints or a lock of baby’s hair. Staff will be able to obtain these mementos for you. However, you may prefer to not have any mementos at all. It is your choice.
Dressing your baby There may be the opportunity to wash and dress your baby. Your midwife or nurse will talk to you about this. If you would like to, you can bring in your own clothes, toys and blankets. You can bring in other special objects, such as a letter or drawings by older brothers and sisters. These will stay with your baby and will be placed in the coffin. Some faith groups do not permit this. If you do not bring in your own clothes or toys for your baby, the hospital will provide clothing and a small teddy bear, which have been donated by friends of St Michael’s Hospital. If you wish to return to spend more time with your baby after you have left the hospital, please phone to speak to a midwife or nurse from your ward or delivery suite, who will arrange a suitable time for you to come and see your baby. 5
Ways in which the hospital chaplain can help The chaplain is available to talk with you whether you are religious or not. The chaplain can also contact representatives of different faith or belief groups on your behalf.
Naming or blessing for your baby Choosing a name for your baby can be a gift to your child and to yourself. It can give a focus to your thoughts and emotions about your baby and it gives your little one an identity. Some parents also find it helpful to have a brief ceremony for naming or blessing their baby. The hospital chaplain can conduct such services for you. If you would like a naming or blessing ceremony, please let your midwife or nurse know and they will contact the chaplain on your behalf.
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary is situated on Level C at St Michael’s Hospital, and is open for your use 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for a time of peace and reflection or prayer.
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Registering the birth and/or death of your baby If your baby was born alive, and subsequently died, you will need to register both the birth and the death of your baby.
If your baby is born after the 24th week of pregnancy The law requires you to register your baby’s death. If you come from outside Bristol and do not wish to return, please contact the Bristol Registrar as soon as possible to enquire about the possibility of registering at your own local Register Office. If your baby was stillborn, then one form is required and you will need to register the death within 42 days. If your baby died after birth, then staff will issue two forms in a pre-addressed envelope. You will then need to register both the birth and the death within 5 days by taking the envelope to the Register Office. You will receive a form from the Registrar to give to the hospital or to your own funeral director allowing the funeral to proceed.
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Register Office Bristol Register Office is located at: The Old Council House, Corn Street, Bristol BS1 1JG. An appointment system operates on all days. Telephone: 0117 922 2800 Opening hours: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: 9:00am to 4:00pm Wednesday: 10:00am to 4:00pm (Later appointments may be made by prior agreement). When you call, say that you want to register a stillbirth or the birth and death of your baby and ask to speak to a supervisor who will be happy to assist. You will then be given an appropriate appointment. You may wish to telephone the Register Office and make special arrangements for an out of hour’s appointment to register your baby’s birth and death. This means that the Registrar will be aware of your circumstances before you are seen and will also mean that you do not have to wait with parents of new-born babies waiting to register their babies. There is no charge for registering a stillbirth or the birth of a baby that lived and subsequently died.
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Opening hours: St Michael’s Hospital, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday 9am to 4pm Southwell Street Wednesday 10am to 4pm and 5pm to 7pm Bristol, BS2 8EG Saturday 9.45am to 11.45am (by special arrangement only)
Copyright © RNS Publications 2022
11 Bristol Register Office, The Old Council House, Corn Street, Bristol BS1 1JG 9
Arranging the baby’s funeral When arranging your baby’s funeral, you will be offered the following options:
Burial at home You may take your baby home and bury the body within your property. There are important guidelines that you should consider. These can be made available on request.
Making your own independent funeral arrangements You may choose to use your own funeral director and they will arrange a funeral on your behalf. This can be religious or non-religious according to your beliefs. You can choose to attend or not as you prefer. As well as organising a funeral according to your own beliefs, the funeral director will discuss your choice of venue, date and time of the funeral and any other requirements that you may have. While funeral directors do not charge for a funeral of any child aged under 15 years, some requests such as a special coffin may incur a charge. Your baby’s funeral does not have to take place within a certain number of days. Before making any arrangements with your own funeral director, you can take time to think through and make your choices and discuss these with your family and friends. 10
Book of remembrance There is a book of remembrance located in the sanctuary at St. Michael’s Hospital, where the details of your loss can be entered. A full page is allocated (40 words maximum) and you can compose the words that you would like to be written. Please let the member of staff looking after you or chaplain know if you wish to do this. A copy of the entry will be sent to you. If, at any time in the future, you wish to see the book, ask reception to make sure the book is turned to the right page.
Further information St. Michael’s Hospital welcomes any suggestions you may have to improve the service we provide for bereaved parents.
Psychological Health Services at St. Michael’s Hospital After the loss of a pregnancy or a baby death, it can be good to talk to people with experience in child bereavement. We suggest waiting at least six weeks to give you time to grieve. If, after this time you feel your distress is worsening or not improving, think about speaking to one of our psychological health services team for guidance. The team can offer support within the first year after your loss. If you would like to be referred to psychological health services, please ask any member of your maternity team in the hospital or community. You will be contacted by letter with an offer of an initial outpatient appointment. 11
Useful telephone numbers St Michael’s Ward 78 0117 342 7789
St Michael’s Central Delivery Suite 0117 342 5214 or 0117 342 5213
St Michael’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit 0117 342 5275
Hospital Chaplains 0117 342 6799
Patient Affairs 0117 342 9049 or 0117 342 9048
Bristol Registry Office 0117 922 2800
South Bristol Crematorium and Cemetery 0117 903 8330
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Contact details for support groups Support for parents and other relatives of stillborn children is available from the following organisations.
SANDS, the stillbirth and neonatal death society Tel: 0808 164 3332 Email: helpline@sands.org.uk Website: www.sands.org.uk
The Miscarriage Association Tel: 0192 420 0799 Email: info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk Website: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Baby Mailing Preference Service If you are getting direct mail from companies selling baby related items you can stop them by registering your details on the Baby Mailing Preference Service website: www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmpsr/
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As well as providing clinical care, our Trust has an important role in research. This allows us to discover new and improved ways of treating patients. While under our care, you may be invited to take part in research. To find out more please visit: www.uhbw.nhs.uk Help us prevent the spread of infection in hospital. Please make sure your hands are clean. Wash and dry them thoroughly/use the gel provided. If you have been unwell in the last 48 hours please consider whether your visit is essential. Smoking is the primary cause of preventable illness and premature death. For support in stopping smoking contact NHS Smokefree on 0300 123 1044. Drinkline is the national alcohol helpline. If you’re worried about your own or someone else’s drinking, you can call this free helpline in complete confidence. Drinkline on 0300 123 1110.
Bristol switchboard: 0117 923 0000 Weston switchboard: 01934 636 363 www.uhbw.nhs.uk
For an interpreter or signer please contact the telephone number on your appointment letter. For this leaflet in large print or PDF format, please email patientleaflets@uhbw.nhs.uk.
© University Hospitals Bristol and Weston
Published: 04/01/22
Published by RNS Publications © Tel: 01253 832400 R0
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Expires: 04/01/24
