University Hospitals Bristol and Weston NHS Foundation Trust
Patient information service St Michael’s Hospital
Bereavement book
Following pregnancy loss Under 24 week’s gestation
A butterfly lights beside us, like a sunbeam... and for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world... but then it flies on again, and although we wish it could have stayed, we are so thankful to have seen it at all.
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Contents Introduction
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Making memories
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Spending time with your baby
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Naming or blessing your baby
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Ways in which the hospital chaplain can help
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The Sanctuary
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Legal requirements
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Arranging the baby’s funeral
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Making your own independent funeral arrangements
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Book of remembrance
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Further information
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Useful telephone numbers
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Contact details for support groups
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Baby Mailing Preference Service
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Introduction Pregnancy loss and the death of a baby are devastating, and at this very painful and sad time, we offer you our condolences. The early days following bereavement can be bewildering and difficult. There are certain decisions and arrangements to make. This booklet has been compiled as a guide to help you with these choices. Members of staff will be happy to discuss any details requiring further explanation and to assist you in obtaining the information you need. Your wishes are important to us, and staff are here to help as you make difficult decisions.
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Making memories Some parents wish to have photographs and other mementos as precious keepsakes. Staff will be able to help you and can provide support as needed.
Spending time with your baby If you wish to return to spend more time with your baby after you have left the hospital, please phone to speak to a midwife or nurse from your ward or the delivery suite, who will arrange a suitable time for you to come and see your baby.
Naming or blessing your baby You may want to choose a name for your baby. It may be difficult to establish the sex of your baby, especially a very tiny one. There are names that are suitable for either sex. Some parents find it helpful to have a brief ceremony for naming or blessing their baby. The hospital chaplain can conduct this for you. If you would like a naming or blessing ceremony, please let your midwife or nurse know and they will contact the chaplain on your behalf.
Ways in which the hospital chaplain can help A chaplain is available to talk with you whether you are religious or not, and can also contact representatives of different faith or belief groups on your behalf.
The Sanctuary The Sanctuary is situated on Level C at St. Michael’s Hospital, and is open for your use 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for a time of peace and reflection or prayer. 5
Legal requirements When a baby is born before the 24th week of pregnancy, there is no legal requirement to register the birth if your baby was delivered with no signs of life. Your midwife, nurse or doctor will fill out a Medical Certificate in Respect of a Non-Viable Foetus. This certificate allows for the arrangement of a cremation or burial.
Arranging the baby’s funeral When arranging your baby’s funeral, you will be offered the following options:
Burial at home You may take your baby home for burial within your property. There are important guidelines that you should consider. These can be made available on request.
Communal (collective) cremations You can be secure in the knowledge that the hospital will arrange a dignified and respectful communal (collective) cremation for babies delivered before the 24th week of pregnancy without the signs of life. These communal cremations are carried out following a short, non-religious service by the hospital chaplain. There are no ashes from this type of cremation, and parents are not permitted to attend the service.
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Making your own independent funeral arrangements You may choose to use your own funeral director and they will help you arrange a funeral which can be religious or non-religious according to your beliefs. The funeral director will discuss with you options for the date, time and venue for the service along with other choices about the funeral. They will guide you through all of the arrangements. While funeral directors do not charge for a funeral of any child aged under 15 years, some requests such as a special coffin may incur a charge. It is important to know that your baby’s funeral does not have to take place within a certain number of days. Before making any arrangements with your own funeral director, you can take time to think through and make your choices and discuss these with your family and friends.
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Book of remembrance There is a book of remembrance located in The Sanctuary at St. Michael’s Hospital, where the details of your loss can be entered. A full page is allocated (40 words maximum) and you can compose the words that you would like to be written. Please let the hospital staff member or chaplain know if you wish to do this. A copy of the entry will be sent to you. If, at any time in the future, you wish to see the book, ask reception to make sure the book is turned to the right page.
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Further information St. Michael’s Hospital welcomes any suggestions you may have to improve the service we provide for bereaved parents.
Useful telephone numbers St Michael’s Ward 78 0117 342 7789
St Michael’s Central Delivery Suite 0117 342 5214 or 0117 342 5213
St Michael’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit 0117 342 5275
Chaplaincy 0117 342 6799
Patient Affairs 0117 342 9049 or 0117 342 9048
Bristol Registry Office 0117 922 2800
South Bristol Crematorium and Cemetery 0117 903 8330
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Contact details for support groups Support for parents and other relatives of stillborn children is available from the following organisations.
SANDS, the stillbirth and neonatal death society Tel: 0808 164 3332 Email: helpline@sands.org.uk Website: www.sands.org.uk
The Miscarriage Association Tel: 0192 420 0799 Email: info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk Website: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Baby Mailing Preference Service If you are getting direct mail from companies selling baby related items you can stop them by registering your details on the Baby Mailing Preference Service website: www.mpsonline.org.uk/bmpsr/
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As well as providing clinical care, our Trust has an important role in research. This allows us to discover new and improved ways of treating patients. While under our care, you may be invited to take part in research. To find out more please visit: www.uhbw.nhs.uk Help us prevent the spread of infection in hospital. Please make sure your hands are clean. Wash and dry them thoroughly/use the gel provided. If you have been unwell in the last 48 hours please consider whether your visit is essential. Smoking is the primary cause of preventable illness and premature death. For support in stopping smoking contact NHS Smokefree on 0300 123 1044. Drinkline is the national alcohol helpline. If you’re worried about your own or someone else’s drinking, you can call this free helpline in complete confidence. Drinkline on 0300 123 1110.
Bristol switchboard: 0117 923 0000 Weston switchboard: 01934 636 363 www.uhbw.nhs.uk
For an interpreter or signer please contact the telephone number on your appointment letter. For this leaflet in large print or PDF format, please email patientleaflets@uhbw.nhs.uk.
© University Hospitals Bristol and Weston
Published: 04/01/22
Published by RNS Publications © Tel: 01253 832400 R0
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Expires: 04/01/24
