Grieving for someone can be a lonely and frightening experience. This booklet is intended to offer reassurance and give suggestions about where to find help.
At this time many decisions and arrangements need to be made. This booklet contains information on some of the practical matters to be tackled, as well as advice on coping with your loss. It also gives details of support organisations.
Tissue donation can help thousands of people each year. Donated tissues such as heart valves, bones and eyes can save or dramatically improve the lives of many people suffering from illness or injury.
Thanks to the generosity of our donors and their families, thousands of people every year receive life-transforming tissue transplants. King George Hospital works in partnership with NHS Blood and Transplant to support the option of tissue donation. Almost anyone can be considered as a tissue donor. A specialist nurse from NHS Blood and Transplant may call you, or another family member, to discuss the option of donation for your loved one. The specialist nurse will provide enough information to enable you to make the decision that is for you. If you do not wish to be contacted, please contact the National Referral Centre on 0800 432 0559 (freephone).
Throughout the donation, the donor is treated with respect and dignity. After donation our specialist team will ensure the donor maintains a natural appearance. Tissue donation will not delay funeral arrangements.
If you wish to speak to a specialist nurse for tissue donation, please call 0800 432 0559.
www.nhsbt.nhs.uk/tissuedonation
You may wish to see your loved one while they remain in our care. Others might prefer to wait until they have been transferred to the care of the funeral directors, and others still may want to remember the deceased as they were – it’s a personal choice.
Facilities at both our hospitals include private, comfortable family rooms.
If you’d like to visit your loved one, please make an appointment with us.
(You will be asked the name and date of birth of the deceased, also your name, your relationship to the deceased and contact number.)
Please remember:
• We can only organise one visit with the next of kin but they may bring other family members
• Please bring a form of identification with you
• We cannot arrange multiple visits
• Appointment times are limited to 20 to 30 minutes
• Visits to deceased under the jurisdiction of a coroner are carried out behind a glass screen
• If demand for visiting is high an appointment may be offered for the following day
To arrange a visit King George Hospital: 020 8970 8293 (Monday to Friday) 9am – 11am
If the person has died in hospital you will need to contact the bereavement office on 020 8970 8235 between 9am and 4pm. The bereavement officer will ask for information including the next of kin’s details and contact numbers. They will then arrange for the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death to be completed and once this has happened you will receive a telephone call. If you wish to contact your undertakers, you may do so while you are waiting for the paperwork to be completed.
It is now required that all hospital deaths are reviewed by an independent doctor working in the Medical Examiner’s office. This is to support clinicians to improve the accuracy when completing the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, providing advice and guidance along with referring to the coroner’s office.
Most importantly it is to give support, advice and any explanations needed to the bereaved. The informant will receive a call from a member of the Medical Examiner’s office explaining the medical issues surrounding the death and the proposed cause of death. They may ask you some questions and address any concerns you may have.
For any further questions, you can email us at; bhrut.medicalexamineroffice@nhs.net or contact us directly on 01708 504343.
Once the bereavement officer informs you that the cause of death certificate is ready, you will need to register the death. The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death will be emailed to the Registrar Office. You will have to contact the Registrar Office on 0208 708 7123 to make a telephone appointment. When the full registration is completed they will post the death certificates to you and email the release paperwork to the undertaker of your choice.
You can register the death if you are:
• The next of kin
• A relative
• A person present at the death
• The person who is arranging the funeral
When you register the death, you will have a short discussion on the telephone with the registrar, this will take about 30 minutes. They will take down details about the deceased person, this will be entered into the register. After this the registered Death Certificate will be issued.
The registrar will require
Information about the deceased including:
• The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (that is issued by the hospital)
• The date and place of birth (e.g. Town or Borough)
• The date and place of death (e.g. Town or Borough)
• His or her first names and surname (or family name) and the maiden name if the deceased person was a woman who had been married
• His or her occupation
• His or her address, if applicable
• His or her National Insurance number
• The name and occupation of his or her spouse, if they were married
• How many certificates are required
This will be issued if a post-mortem examination has not taken place. There is no charge for the above certificate. You need to give this to the funeral director of your choice as soon as possible.
There is a charge for the death certificate. You may need to purchase more than one death certificate for dealing with insurance companies, pensions, banks and other organisations in matters relating to the deceased person’s estate.
To arrange a same-day or next-day funeral, you will need to arrange for the release form (the green form) to be completed by the registrar as soon as possible.
If this is between Monday and Friday office hours you will need to follow the arrangements on page three. If this is out of hours or Bank Holidays/weekends, you should contact the registry office on 020 8478 3020.
They will arrange for the registrar who is on call to contact you and issue you with the green form.
‘Tell Us Once’ is a free service provided by the registry office that offers help with your recent bereavement. With your permission relevant council services and central government departments will be informed of the bereavement. Local services include: Department for Works and Pensions (DWP), Passport Office (IPS,) Driving Licence (DVLA), Overseas Health and War Pensions department.
It will be necessary for the informant to provide the deceased’s National Insurance number (if known) and relevant documents (passport, driving licence, library pass, blue badge). If all the information is not available at the time of the death registration, the registrar will explain how to access the service from home using a reference number and free-phone telephone contact service with DWP (this service is available up to 28 days following the death registration).
This service offers families assistance to inform local and central government departments at a particularly difficult time, saving them valuable time and money and lessening the distress of repeating information.
The coroner is a doctor or lawyer responsible for investigating deaths where:
• the patient was not seen by a doctor during the last illness, or in the 14 days before death, or after the death
• the death was due to an accident, violence or other unnatural or suspicious circumstances
• the cause of death was not known, or was uncertain
• the death occurred while the patient was undergoing an operation or was under the effect of anaesthetic
• the death was caused by an industrial disease
The coroner will speak to the doctor who cared for the deceased person. If death is due to natural causes the doctor can issue the Cause of Death Medical Certificate with the coroner’s Form A.
The coroner’s address for this area is:
HM Coroner, Queen’s Road, Walthamstow, E17 8PQ
Tel: 0208 496 5000 option 1
This is a surgical examination of the body to find more accurately the cause of death. If it is required, it is usually done within one working day of the death.
The coroner is legally empowered to request a post-mortem examination if he or she judges that it is necessary, irrespective of the family’s religious beliefs. You may, of course, discuss with the coroner any concerns you may have.
If the post-mortem examination shows that the death was due to natural causes, the coroner will issue a Form B stating the cause of death. This will be sent directly to the registrar.
When the coroner informs you that this has happened, you can register the death.
The coroner will arrange an inquest after the post-mortem examination, if there is a need for further enquiry.
An inquest is an enquiry into the medical cause and circumstances of a death. It is held in public, sometimes with a jury. The coroner will organise the enquiry in the best way to serve the interests of the deceased person’s relatives and the public. Relatives may attend the inquest and ask questions of witnesses about the medical cause and circumstances of the death.
The coroner will open the inquest then he or she will issue an order of burial form (Form 101) or certificate of cremation (Form 6) so that the funeral can take place.
The coroner will send you an interim certificate when the inquest is opened. On completion of the inquest the coroner will inform the registrars of the cause of death.
In all circumstances, only a coroner can give permission for the body to be taken out of England.
If the deceased person has made a Will, this may be in the house, with the solicitor who drew it up, or at the bank. The Will may contain the deceased’s wishes as to funeral arrangements.
If you need to contact the probate registry, the registry office will give you a booklet (PA2) containing the nearest office.
In order to settle the estate according to the terms of the Will, the executor will need to contact the probate registry. If there is no Will, the next of kin will need to contact the probate registry. Further advice or information can be obtained from your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau or solicitor.
You will need to contact a funeral director as soon as possible. Prices for funerals vary and it is advisable to obtain estimates from two or three directors before making a choice. Many funeral directors can provide leaflets giving costs of a basic cremation or burial, and giving details of additional services and options available.
Details of local funeral directors can be found in ‘Yellow Pages’ or the ‘Thomson Directory’. If you choose a member of the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD), he or she must comply with a code of practice. All members must supply a written estimate prior to the funeral. You can contact the NAFD on 0121 711 1343.
The funeral director will ask whether a burial or cremation is required. If the deceased person expressed any wishes in their Will regarding the funeral, the executor will need to check this. If the deceased person wished their body to be given for medical research, you should contact the London Anatomy Office on 020 7848 8042.
Once you have chosen a funeral director, he or she will contact your priest, minister or representative of your faith to arrange the service. You may also wish to contact them directly.
The deceased person may be buried in a churchyard, or a local authority or private cemetery. Cremated remains may also be buried in a churchyard or cemetery, or be made available to the family to make whatever arrangements they wish.
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.
This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
You can obtain practical help from the funeral director, your family doctor or a solicitor, a minister of religion, your local social services department and the Citizens’ Advice Bureau. If the person who has died was visited by a district nurse or health visitor, he or she may be able to help.
You may wish to discuss the death and funeral arrangements with a religious leader of your own faith. Should you not be sure whom to contact, the hospital chaplain can always offer advice. Call 01708 435000 and ask for the duty chaplain. If the matter is not urgent, contact during normal business hours is requested.
If you have lost a partner, be especially careful to carry out tasks that were previously his or her responsibility, like locking the house, checking that gas and electricity supplies are turned off, etc. These are often carried out by one person regularly, and can easily be forgotten when they are no longer there.
A death in the family can cause financial worries for those left, both in the short term and the long term.
For general information about social security benefits available, you can obtain some leaflets from your local Department for Work and Pensions (DWP).
If you have difficulty in obtaining these leaflets, please write to: Leaflets Unit, PO Box 21, Stanmore, Middlesex HA8 1AY
Your local DWP office or a Citizens’ Advice Bureau should be able to explain what you are entitled to.
If the deceased person was claiming benefit(s) from the DWP, you cannot legally continue to claim on his or her behalf. You need to inform the DWP of the death as soon as possible, and they will make the necessary arrangements for payment of any entitlement you may have.
In the weeks following a funeral, many people experience spiritual doubts. This is quite normal, and you may find it helpful to discuss them with either the person who conducted the funeral, or one of the chaplains at the hospital.
Our Trust chaplaincy service is available to people of any faith, practising or non-practising. Chaplains from most religious denominations can be contacted. If you would like to contact the chaplaincy service, telephone the main hospital switchboard on 01708 435 000 and ask to speak to the duty chaplain.
Try to tell children of all ages what has happened as honestly as you can. Be prepared to answer their questions truthfully and simply.
You may find these websites useful for support:
Hope Again
Hope Again is the youth website of Cruse Bereavement Care. It is a safe place, where young people who are facing grief can share their stories with others. www.hopeagain.org.uk
Winston's Wish
Winston's Wish was the first UK childhood bereavement support charity, and have been supporting bereaved children since 1992. www.winstonswish.org
Child Bereavement UK
Child Bereavement UK supports families during bereavement and when a child is facing a bereavement. www.childbereavementuk.org
After a loss we need to grieve which can be painful. Its effects can sometimes be alarming, so you may find the following advice helpful.
Grief following the death of someone very dear or where there was emotional involvement is the hardest bereavement of all. It is like a journey which can at times be lonely, very painful and long.
It is hard to accept the loss, so you may find yourself trying to deny the reality of what has occurred. You may think you see or hear the person who has died. It takes time for the full realisation to sink in. For a long, long time, you may feel very tired, lethargic, unable to make decisions, strained and physically run down. It may be difficult to eat or sleep. Grief is time consuming and exhausting.
You may feel times of despair and depression. You may lose interest in many things you would normally enjoy doing. If you have lost a husband, wife or partner and are alone, you may feel pointless about your day to day life. All these feelings are natural.
Also, you may experience guilt, panic and anger - even anger at the person who has died. Do not try to hide these feelings; try to share them with a sympathetic listener. Well-meaning friends may feel that after a few weeks you will be “back to normal”. Others may be afraid to speak to you and avoid you. You may have to make the first move. Let them know you need their support and the comfort of their friendship.
It may be tempting to think that if you change your environment you will feel better, but it is unwise to make big decisions about your life too soon. At first your grief will be with you wherever you are. Kind friends may want to distract you and “cheer you up”. You may also need times of quiet, stillness and solitude to do your grieving. It is very tiring to be constantly pulled away from your true feelings, and unless you do have time and space in which to feel your sadness, your journey of grief will be harder.
Sometimes you will feel it is like snakes and ladders; there will be better days and then something unexpected will send you to the bottom again.
Eventually, the pain will ease and memories will become comforting. When you feel ready to remake your life and take up old pursuits, do not feel that you are being disloyal to the person who has died. It is alright to enjoy yourself again.
Your grieving will be individual to you. It will take as long as it takes. It is important to allow yourself to grieve, and to take a break from grieving and eventually to put it aside when sorrow remains. You will never put aside the memories and influence of the person you loved.
King George and Queen’s Hospitals Charity is a registered charity which aims to improve patient and staff welfare and enhance the hospital environment at Barking Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals NHS Trust. Our work benefits patients, staff and visitors. For more information please visit www.supportyourhospital.org or call 01708 504335.
Review Date: July 2026
Publication Date: July 2024
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
you need help with
You may need help, support or advice on what to do when someone dies in relation to probate.
Freephone: 0808 168 5181
Mobiles: 0333 240 0360
We offer free guidance and advice on the legal and financial aspects of bereavement including your responsibilities and whether probate is required.
Calls are free from most land lines, some calls may be monitored for training purposes and all calls are confidential. This service is provided by the Bereavement Support Network Ltd.
This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospital. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have.
Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.
