Please accept our condolences at this painful and private time.
We are aware that this is a very difficult period and we hope that this booklet will help you in dealing with the necessary practical arrangements. Please ask any member of staff for guidance if any of the information you have been given is unclear.
Reference: Nevill Hall Hospital Bereavement Booklet - R13
Publication Date: December 2024
Review Date: December 2026
Contact details of all our hospitals:
Hospital Switchboard for all sites: 01633 493100
The Grange University Hospital: Caerleon Road
Llanfrechfa, NP44 8YN
Royal Gwent Hospital: Cardiff Road Newport, NP20 2UB
Nevill Hall Hospital: Brecon Road
Abergavenny, NP7 7EG
Ysbyty Ystrad Fawr:
Ystrad Fawr Way
Ystrad Mynach, CF82 7GP
Ysbyty Aneurin Bevan: Lime Avenue
Ebbw Vale, NP23 6GL
Chepstow Community Hospital: Tempest Way Chepstow, NP16 5YX
County Hospital: Coed-y-Gric Road Griffithstown, NP4 5YA
St Woolos Hospital Stow Hill Newport, NP20 4SZ
Grace Bereavement Support Service
The Grace Bereavement Support Service provides a dedicated point of contact for patients, their families and carers. The Team offers confidential advice, support and information on end of life and bereavement related matters. If you have any concerns regarding the loss or anticipated loss of a loved one, the Grace Bereavement Support Team will do their best to resolve any queries, issues, and problems quickly and directly with the staff concerned. The Team will keep in touch with you by telephone and/or email.
Contact details:
Telephone: 01633 493753 (ask for the Grace Bereavement Team) E-mail: abb.grace@wales.nhs.uk
Section 1. Practical Information
Please read the enclosed leaflet as it contains important information regarding what to do when someone dies in the hospital. When you contact the relevant numbers, you will be guided through the next steps.
What do I need to do next?
You can contact a funeral director immediately for help and guidance; however, no formal arrangements can be made until you are in position to register the death.
Funeral costs can be significant and you may want to ask several funeral directors for estimates before you make a decision. You can ask for a breakdown of costs which may help you decide what to have. Advice and guidance is available from local organisations such as the Citizens Advice Bureau.
About post mortem examinations
The Doctor who has completed the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death may ask your permission for a post mortem examination to be conducted in order to assist with Medical Science. You can decline this request. If the Coroner orders a post mortem examination this is a legal requirement and you will not be able to decline. If you have any concerns about the Coroner’s involvement or post mortem examination, it is very important that you discuss these at the time, either with the Doctor or the Coroner’s Office.
Registering a Death
The Registrar will contact you to arrange an appointment to register the death. They will advise what information is required, but below is a list of the information they will request from you.
Please note in most circumstances, a death must be registered in the district in which the death occurred and you will need to take personal identification with you.
• Full name (maiden name if applicable), address, date and place of birth.
• Occupation and occupation of the partner (if married or in a civil partnership).
• Any pensions the deceased claimed.
• The full name and date of birth of the surviving spouse or surviving civil partner.
Registry Office addresses
Please note, the Registrar will arrange an appointment with you and advise which office to attend to register the death.
Monmouthshire
Monmouthshire County Council Radyr Usk NP15 1GA 01873 735435
(Registrar)
www.monmouthshire.gov.uk
Documents required at the death registration
It is advisable to have to hand some or all of the following documents when you register a death; your Registrar will discuss this with you in more detail:
• The deceased’s National Health Service Number (NHS) – this can be obtained from a Medical Card.
• The deceased’s birth certificate and marriage certificate (if you have them).
• The deceased’s National insurance number(s) and their partner’s also (if applicable).
• The deceased’s passport, driving licence, Blue Badge or bus pass (if applicable).
• ID documents and proof of address for yourself (this helps the Registrar avoid mistakes in recording spellings of names and addresses).
• Details of any pensions or allowances paid from public funds to the deceased.
You will also need to provide:
• The date and place of death.
• The full name and surname of the deceased together with any other names they have ever used.
• The place of birth of the deceased and their age (or date of birth).
• The maiden name (if the person was a married woman). The occupation of the deceased.
• The name of the deceased’s spouse or civil partner. The occupation of the spouse/civil partner.
How much does it cost to register the death?
There is no charge to register a death.
You may need extra copies of the Death Certificate to give various authorities (Department for Work and Pensions, bank etc.) There is a small fee for these, so please make sure you take cash with you – the DWP are notified by the Registrars who register the death. The Tell Us Once service also allows notification of other central and local government departments. Registrars prefer payment by card, particularly when death registration is undertaken by telephone.
What forms will I receive following the Death Registration?
The following documents will be given/sent out to you after the death has been officially registered in the district where the event occurred.
• A form for the Undertaker (the 9W green form) which gives the authorisation to take the deceased into the care of a funeral home and to make the funeral arrangements.
• Any death certificate(s) requested - £12.50 each.
Please note: Documents are sent out via Royal Mail and may take a few days to arrive.
Out of Hours or Urgent Requests for Death Registrations
With certain religious and cultural beliefs, it is customary for a burial to take place on the same day or within 24 hours of the death. Please make the ward staff aware if this applies to the patient. We will do all we can to meet your requirements, but at different times, such as at weekends or Bank Holidays, there may be some unavoidable delays.
Please note: In certain circumstances the death may need to be reported to the Coroner. This may also mean that we are unable to issue the necessary paperwork required to allow the burial to take place within the required timeframe.
Tell Us Once
Once you have registered a death, you can use the Tell Us Once service to give relevant information to relevant government departments and council services on your behalf, for example the DWP, DVLA, HMRC, Passport Office and Council Tax Department. This service is voluntary and free to use and will be offered during your appointment with the Registrar.
What if I make a mistake when completing a Death Registration?
When completing a death registration, you must check information on the register page carefully. If you fail to notice an error on the entry, there will be fee to apply for a correction, the cost of which will either be £75 or £90, depending on the type of amendment required. The Registrar can advise you further in the event of any problem.
Who needs to be told about the death?
There are several other people who may also need to know. Some may be advised via the Tell Us Once service, but you can use this as a check list:
c Funeral Director
c Priest, Minister, Faith Leader or Funeral Celebrant
c The Benefits Agency (pensions, benefit)
c The Bank, Credit Card Companies, Building Society
c Social Services (Home helps, Home Care)
c Schools, College or University attended (if applicable)
c Place of Work (Occupational pension)
c Executors of the Estate (Will)
c Solicitor
c Insurance Companies
c Residential or Nursing Home
c Landlord / Housing Association / Mortgage provider
c Electricity, Gas, Telephone, Water Companies
c Mail Redirect
c Careline
c Cancel any Appointments – delivery of papers etc
c Pets – make necessary arrangements for care
If the deceased was living alone you will need to ensure that their home is secure and remove all signs that indicate no-one is there. You may wish to collect spare keys from other relatives, friends or neighbours.
Stopping Mail to the recently deceased
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Postal applications are also available.
Help with funeral costs
If YOU are under state pensionable age and YOUR PARTNER has died, there is a NON MEANS TESTED payment you may be able to claim, if your partner has paid some NI contributions. Details are available here: www.gov.uk/bereavement-support-payment
Financial help with funeral costs may be available if you receive certain benefits. Contact the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) before making any arrangements. Website: www.gov.uk
If you get some of the following benefits you may be entitled to a Social Fund Funeral Payment:
• Income support
• Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
• Income-related Employment and Support Allowance Pension Credit
• Working Tax Credit which includes a disability or severe disability element
• Child Tax Credit at a rate higher than the family element Housing Benefit
• Universal Credit
What is Probate?
When a person dies somebody has to deal with their estate (the money, property and possessions left) by collecting in all the money, paying any debts and distributing what is left to those people entitled to it. In order to get authority to do this the designated person usually needs to obtain a legal document called a “Grant of Representation” from the Probate Registry.
There are three types of Grant of Representation.
Probate - Issued to one or more executors named in the deceased’s Will. Note: Executors are people named in the Will to deal with the estate.
Letters of Administration (with Will) - Issued when there is a Will but there is no executor named or when the executors are unable or unwilling to apply for the grant.
Letters of Administration - Issued when the deceased has not made a Will, or any Will made is not valid.
More details are available from the Probate Service.
Patient’s Property
Due to the size of the Hospital, the patient’s property may not always be on the ward where the patient was last situated. Please check with the ward where the person died before you come to the Hospital.
Pregnancy and baby loss
If you have experienced the loss of a baby during pregnancy or soon after the birth, please contact the bereavement midwife for support on 07581 022493.
Below are some other organisations that may also be able to offer support.
• Aneurin Bevan University Health Board baby loss support group. Runs 2nd Monday of every month in Carro Lounge Cwmbran 7-9pm. All welcome any loss, any gestation, any time. Contact bereavement midwife for more details abb.bereavementmidwives@wales.nhs.uk 07581 022493
• The Beresford Centre offers a bespoke face to face perinatal loss counselling service Beresford Pregnancy Counselling Centre, Newport. S.Wales beresfordcentre.org.uk 01633 212320
• The Miscarriage Association offers information for those who experience the loss of their baby prior to 24 weeks of pregnancy. www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information 01924 200799
• Sands (Stillbirth and neonatal death charity) have a range of resources and support available on their website and also have a helpline www.sands.org.uk/support-you/how-we-offer-support 08081 643332
• 2wish offer support to those who experience the sudden loss of a baby, child or young person up to the age of 25. www.2wish.org.uk 01443 853125
There are many other charities and organisations available to support you through this difficult time. You can also contact the bereavement midwife on the above details or speak to your GP for ongoing support.
Section 2. Personal Reactions to Grief
Who can help and advise me?
You may feel that you want further advice and that you want to talk with someone outside of your immediate family or with other people who have been through a similar experience. There are so many agencies available who have special understanding of different types of death that it is not possible to list them all here. If you can’t find one that applies to you do please contact a health professional or someone at your local Citizens Advice Bureau or library who should be able to help.
• Talk with your GP about health problems, or support groups
• Talk to the Patient Support Specialists if you are unhappy or unsure about treatment or care
Telephone: 01633 493753
• Talk to the hospital chaplain about spiritual or religious matters or any other concerns
Telephone: 01633 493402 The Grange Hospital
Telephone: 01633 234263 Royal Gwent Hospital
Telephone: 01873 732112 Nevill Hall Hospital
Telephone: 01443 802439 Ysbyty Ystrad Fawr
• Bereavement Helpline Wales Telephone: 0870 240 6578
Any of the people mentioned above can give you information about local voluntary bereavement support groups, or if you prefer, contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
Talking to children about death
Adults often feel the need to protect children from death. They may feel children will not understand or that they will be too upset. However, we can often underestimate a child’s resources and ability to cope. Children often find it harder if they are not told what is happening, because they may be more frightened by imagined events. Children should be told the facts in a simple manner, using appropriate words, e.g. ‘dead’, ‘death’, rather than
‘lost’ or ‘asleep’. Give them time to ask questions (which may be very direct) and offer plenty of reassurance.
It is helpful for adults to share feelings with children, such as feelings of sadness. By doing this they learn that it is natural to feel sad when someone dies. Children may like to draw pictures as part of their way of saying goodbye.
It is important to remember that children of different ages will express themselves differently. Younger children may appear unaffected by death or play grisly games or laugh; but their emotions will change all the time, for example a child may cry intensely and then just go off and play. Give children time to talk and lots of reassurance. If you need advice or guidance you can speak to nursing staff from the ward or contact a specialist advice centre, some of which are listed below.
When a child dies
The death of a child at whatever age is one of the most painful experiences in life. The grief felt by families can leave them so numbed and distressed that it can be difficult to face even the simplest of tasks. There are agencies that can offer help, support and information to families following the death of a baby or child and listed below are just a few examples of these organisations.
Child Bereavement UK
Unit B Knaves Beech Way, Knaves Beech Industrial Estate, Loudwater, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, HP10 9QY
Tel: 08000 288840
www.childbereavementuk.org
www.HealingHeart.net
Child Death Helpline 0800 282986
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk
Nursing staff from the ward or unit can also offer support and provide information and guidance.
Personal Experiences
This section of the book identifies some of the physical and emotional responses we sometimes experience following the death of someone we loved. You may not feel ready to read it at the moment, but it may help you later on as you grieve.
Be In Touch With Your Feelings
By its very nature, a death is distressing to everyone. The emotional and physical reactions that follow are usually intense and they can confuse, frighten and shock. You may also be surprised by reactions in yourself and others that are unfamiliar and seemingly out of character.
Individuals may grieve in very different ways. Coping with this grief varies from person to person, but it may help you to express your feelings and emotions by talking to others or writing down on paper your personal thoughts.
What Might I Feel Like Now?
It is important to understand that bereavement will temporarily change us; these are some of the feelings that some of us may experience but there are no rules. Everyone reacts to grief in different ways and at their own pace.
Anger
Guilt
Fear
Sadness
Helplessness
Re-living the Event
Numbness
Living on Borrowed Time
Tenseness and Restlessness
Forgetfulness
Tiredness and Exhaustion
Muscle Tension
Heart Palpitations and other symptoms
Remember please...
You may experience none, some, or all of these reactions. If you do, it may be occasionally or all the time. Everyone is different. In all instances this is a natural progression, helping you through what has happened. Typically, reactions start to lessen over a few weeks, before fading away over a longer period of time. If they don’t, it can help to talk to someone about them.
The following pages explain in a little more detail how these different emotions and feelings may express themselves...
Anger
You may get very angry over seemingly minor things. Relatives, friends and colleagues may comment on changes in your character. You may feel a more constant anger because the death of the person you loved feels unjust or senseless. It may be that you feel angry towards people who appear to have caused or let the death happen.
Guilt
You may feel that there is something that you did or did not do which led to the person you loved dying. You may ask yourself whether you deserve to still be alive rather than the person who has died. You may also find yourself thinking that other less deserving people should be dead and not the person who has died. For most of us these thoughts are uncomfortable and may make us feel guilty.
Fear
New fears and worries may occur to you now. You may not want to go out, meet family, friends or colleagues, you may be afraid of leaving those you care for most or being left by them. Other fears can centre on breaking down - losing control, feeling unbearably intense or worrying that a similar thing could happen again.
Relationships
Following a death, stresses and strains previously coped with quite well can become intolerable and it can be tempting to cut ourselves off, making it difficult for people who care about us to help, leading to relationships becoming strained. Long standing relationships and friendships may suffer the most if we believe that no one can understand what we are going through.
Please remember that this view can become a major obstacle to seeking help and support when we need it most. Other people may be a main source of comfort during these difficult times.
Sadness
Deep feelings of sadness are common, especially when someone has died a tragic death.
Helplessness
A feature of such traumatic incidents is that they are overpowering. Such crises can draw out the best in us but they can also make us feel powerless or unable to help.
Re-living the event
The impression left may be so strong that it is revisited long after it actually happened. This can be a helpful process as it may help to get this very distressing event more clearly set out in our mind.
Flashbacks and dreams are common, as well as feeling the same feelings over again.
You may suddenly start to feel as if the original event is about to happen to you again.
These re-livings can be distressing and frightening but they are not unusual.
Numbness
The shock of bereavement can leave you feeling numb and emotionally exhausted. Feelings that you would usually have may be lost for a time and you may feel less able to deal with day-to-day life and pressures. You may want to have less contact with other people and give up things which you enjoy.
Living on borrowed time
Bereavement can change your outlook on life in important ways. Hopes for a better future may change or be lost. Feeling deep disappointment may occur.
Tenseness and restlessness
You may feel wound up, making it difficult to rest, fall asleep or have peace of mind.
Forgetfulness
It is not unusual to become forgetful and you may find your memory does not seem good. Concentration may be difficult. You may find it difficult to remember what the person who died looked like - this is quite normal and will pass with time.
Our minds and bodies work in harmony and you may therefore experience physical changes as well as emotional ones.
You may feel physically very tired and emotionally fragile for some time after the bereavement. It is important to try and rest or you will become exhausted.
Muscle Tension
The strain you may be feeling at the moment may be making your muscles tense. This can be felt as symptoms such as general stiffness and tension, or specific localised pains, headaches, stiffness in your throat or chest and dizziness.
Heart palpitations and other symptoms
All emotional reactions are associated with short or longer term bodily responses, such as heart palpitations, excessive sweating, mild tremors that may cause you to shake from time to time, stomach pains and digestive problems.
If you have physical symptoms you should discuss these with your G.P. Medical treatments can provide some relief from these if they are reactive symptoms. Please remember though, that talking about how you are feeling is the most important step to finding long term relief.
Helping yourself
The most important thing to do is avoid bottling up your feelings about what is happening to you at the moment however shocked or surprised you may be.
Accept that it is normal not to feel normal
Find out the facts of what happened - our perception of events can be distorted by grief.
Don’t feel guilty about not having the person who died constantly in your thoughts, or as time goes by, planning the future.
Remember that healing takes time.
When you may need to ask for help
If you continue to experience some or all of the emotions or symptoms we have already explored for a long time, you may wish to seek further help if:
• Intense feelings or body sensations continue to overwhelm you.
• Feelings are not beginning to lessen.
• Memories, dreams and images of the particular event continue to intrude, making you feel afraid and depriving you of rest.
• You continually feel tense, confused, empty or exhausted.
• Work performance is affected.
• You have to keep active to avoid becoming upset.
• Nightmares or poor sleep affect you.
• You have no-one with whom you can share your feelings.
• You get uncontrollably angry.
• Your relationships are suffering badly or people keep telling you how much you have changed.
• You are smoking, eating or drinking alcohol more than you usually do.
• You are relying on medication to help you through.
• You feel burnt out.
• The feelings we experience after the death of someone we love can be very traumatic; remember, if you are struggling for a long time, ask for help.
“With thanks to the Bereavement Co-ordinator at Lancashire Teaching Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust for kind permission to use their framework for the feelings sections of this booklet”
Support Organisations
Age UK Cymru
www.ageuk.org.uk
Asian Family Counselling Service
At A Loss
www.ataloss.org
BACP – British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy)
www.bacp.co.uk
Bereavement Support Network
www.bereavementsupport.co.uk
Care for the Family Bereavement Support
www.careforthefamily.org.uk
CCAWS – Community Care and Wellbeing Service
www.ccaws.org.uk
Chaplaincy Department for Aneurin Bevan University Health Board
A national organisation for the elderly
Advice regarding local and national bereavement support
Advice on choosing a therapist and a list of accredited therapists
Tel: 0800 169 2081
Advice when someone dies (freephone service)
Email: admin@ asianfamily.co.uk
Use website to access online chat, short courses and more
Tel: 01455 883300
Email: bacp@bacp.co.uk
National charity providing family bereavement support
Tel: 0808 168 9607
Support services including counselling, befriending, advocacy, information and advice
Tel: 02920 810800
Email: mail@cff.org.uk
Available 9 – 5 Monday to Friday and the team provides an on-call service 24/7
Tel: 02920 345294
Email: info@ccaws.org.uk
Tel: 01633 493100
Ask to be transferred to the Chaplaincy Dept. of the relevant hospital, or to speak with a Duty Chaplain Email: ABB_Chaplaincy@ wales.nhs.uk
Child Death Helpline
www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk
Citizens Advice Bureau
www.citizensadvice.org.uk
Compassionate Friends
www.tcf.org.uk
Coroners Office
www.southwalescentralcoroner. co.uk
Cruse Bereavement Care
www.cruse.org.uk
A freephone service for all those affected by the death of a child
Advice line
Tel: 0800 282986
Donor Family Network
www.donorfamilynetwork.co.uk
Bereaved parents offering support to those who have had a child of any age die
Following an unexpected, unexplained death
Tel: 03444 111 444
The Good Grief Trust
www.thegoodgrieftrust.org
Promoting the wellbeing of bereaved people and enabling anyone suffering bereavement caused by death to understand their grief and cope with their loss
A support run by donor families for donor families
Tel: 0345 123 2304
Email: helpline@tcf. org.uk
Tel: 01443 281101
Email: coroneradmin@ rctcbc.gov.uk
Tel: 0808 808 1677
Email: helpline@cruse. org.uk
Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service
www.jbcs.org.uk
Support services including local and national information and advice and support cafes
Counselling service
Tel: 0845 680 1954
Email: info@ donorfamilynetwork. co.uk
Email: hello@thegoodgrieftrust. org
Tel: 0208 951 3881
Email: enquiries@jbcs. org.uk
LGBT+ HelplineSwitchboard
www.switchboard.lgbt
The Lullaby Trust
www.lullabytrust.org.uk
The Miscarriage Association www.miscarriageassociation. org.uk
Muslim Community Helpline
www.muslimcommunityhelpline. org.uk
NAFD
www.nafd.org.uk
Probate Registry of Wales
www.gov.uk/applying-forprobate
Samaritans www.samaritans.org
SANDS
www.sands.org.uk
Support After Murder and Manslaughter www.samm.org.uk
A helpline for lesbian, gay and bisexual people who have lost someone close to them
Support following the death of a baby suddenly or unexpectedly
Available for support and information following the death of a baby (up to 24 weeks gestation)
A confidential listening service, practical help and information
Tel: 0300 330 0630
Email: chris@ switchboard.lgbt
Tel: 0808 802 6868
Email: support@ lullabytrust.org.uk
Tel: 01924 200799
Email: info@ miscarriageassociation. org.uk
Tel: 020 8904 8193
Email: ess4m@ btinternet.com
National Association of Funeral Directors
Guidance and support regarding probate
Tel: 01217 111343
Email: info@nafd.org.uk
A confidential helpline open 24 hours a day
Tel: 02920 474373
Support for pregnancy loss and baby death
Tel: 116 123
Email: jo@samaritans. org
Tel: 0808 164 3332
Email: helpline@sands. org.uk
Wide range of support to those bereaved by murder and manslaughter
Tel: 0121 472 2912
Text: 07342 888570
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
www.uksobs.com
WAY Widowed and Young
www.widowedand young.org.uk
Way Up www.way-up.co.uk
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide
Tel: 0300 111 5065
Email: email.support@ uksobs.org
Widowed and young – for people 50 and younger
Support for those who have been widowed –aged 50 and above
Tel: 0300 201 0051
Contact via an online form
Winston’s Wish
www.winstonswish.org
2 Wish
www.2wish.org.uk
A charity that offers information and support to bereaved children, young people and their families
Support for those affected by the death of a child or young person
Tel: 0808 802 0021
Email: ask@ winstonswish.org
Tel: 01443 853 125
Email: info@2wish. org.uk
Please scan this QR code to visit our website for more information on our Grief and Bereavement Support.
Please scan this QR code if you would like to leave feedback on your bereavement experience.
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
�\\ bereavement ,�port network
stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
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You may need help, support or advice on what to do when someone dies in relation to probate.
We offer free guidance and advice on the legal and financial aspects of bereavement including your responsibilities and whether probate is required.
Calls are free from most land lines, some calls may be monitored for training purposes and all calls are confidential. This service is provided by the Bereavement Support Network Ltd.
