NHS Tayside When a Baby Dies Booklet

When a baby dies

Information for bereaved parents, families and carers following the death of a baby

The forget-me-not flower is a remembrance plant symbolising that your baby will never be forgotten but always loved and remembered

Reference: NHS Tayside Neonatal Bereavement Guide

Publication Date: May 2024

We would like to offer our sincere condolences to you and your family. This booklet is designed to be of help to you, your family and those that support you during what we realise, will be a difficult and upsetting time.

When a child dies, you and your family face a journey that was never planned or chosen. There are no right or wrong ways to feel at this time and no quick fixes to make you feel better. Being given a lot of information to read possibly feels overwhelming just now, so please take this booklet away with you and read it at a time that feels right for you. .

At the end of the booklet, there is some information and contacts, which you and your family may find helpful.

NB. Throughout this booklet we will refer to ‘baby’ rather than babies to describe the loss of your little one(s). However, we very much acknowledge those of you who have sadly lost multiple babies, at this time or in the past, and we want you to know that each baby is very much included in the information we provide here.

Key contact

Before leaving hospital, you will be given the name and contact details of a member of staff that will be in touch with you in the coming weeks.

Name of Key Contact:

Contact details:

What happens now?

Your stay in hospital

The length of time you spend in hospital will depend on your health and your own individual circumstances. The decision to go home should be a joint decision between you and the medical staff.

Staff looking after you will discuss with you how long you might stay in hospital and any home visits that may be required from your Community Midwife, Family Nurse and/or Health Visitor. Arrangements for any future hospital follow-up appointments will also be discussed, along with potential support from an NHS bereavement counsellor or other support agencies mentioned at the end of this booklet.

Your health and postnatal care

Some physical aspects of the postnatal period can be a painful reminder of the loss of your baby, and we aim to help you with these symptoms as much as possible.

You should take regular analgesia and any medications as prescribed. Should you have any stitches or wounds your midwife will attend to these and advise.

Your blood loss should gradually reduce over the next few weeks. Should you be concerned regarding the amount of blood you are losing, you pass large clots, or your discharge becomes offensive in smell please contact your midwife, GP, or NHS 24 on the telephone number 111.

You will be invited to meet with your consultant obstetrician in the months following the death of your baby. The timings of these appointments may vary depending on individual circumstances. You should contact your GP to discuss contraception and fertility within 6 weeks of your loss. However, you should be aware that ovulation may return quickly, as early as day 18 and therefore there is a possibility you might conceive before your first menstrual period returns.

If you have had a Caesarean section, it is advised that you should not conceive for a minimum of nine months from the surgery. We understand that this may be difficult news to hear and can feel like an additional loss.

Lactation & breast milk

Lactation may commence a few days after birth and can be helped by wearing a well supporting non-wired bra.

There is an opportunity for you to donate/ gift your breast milk if you would like. This may feel like a difficult decision, and it is entirely your choice. You can discuss this further with a member of staff and further information about donating/ gifting breast milk is at the back of this booklet. If you have been expressing milk which is stored in our milk fridge/freezer, this can be donated if you wish. Alternatively, you may advise us to discard any stored milk.

If you do not wish to donate your breast milk, you should not restrict your fluid intake at this time and do not express milk. If you notice any redness or swelling or symptoms of mastitis, please contact your midwife or GP as soon as possible. There are medications available which suppress lactation. If you would like to discuss this option, please speak to a member of staff.

Care of your baby

Hospital staff are here to support you to spend time with your baby if this is something you wish to do. This can include helping you to make memories with your baby such as cuddling and holding your baby, dressing and bathing, taking photographs, hand and footprints etc. It is completely your choice as to how much of this you want to do, and staff can give you more information, answer any questions and help guide you through this process. We understand that this is very personal and individual to you and your family.

Staff may recommend the use of a cuddle cot (cool cot) which is used to keep your baby at a cool temperature for the time you spend together. If you have any questions or concerns about this, you can ask a member of staff.

We can offer you keepsakes as part of your memory making. These may include:

• A memory box

• Your baby’s hand/footprints

• A lock of hair (if appropriate and able to be obtained)

• A record of your baby’s weight and length

• Name card and baby bands

• Clothes and blankets that have been worn or used by your baby

• Photographs taken whilst in hospital

Should you wish any personal items to be left with your baby this will be facilitated by staff.

It is important that you feel included in making these memories and for your wishes to be taken into consideration. Please let us know what matters most to you especially with regards to cultural, religious and/ or spiritual needs following the death of your baby.

Your baby’s photographs

Please take as many photographs as you wish. Staff can provide a camera if you do not have your own.

The hospital can also arrange for our photography department to have photographs taken of your baby. Staff will discuss with you the arrangements for their collection. At this time if you do not wish to have the photographs, they will be stored in your case notes for 7 years for future collection should you change your mind within this timeframe.

Dependent on availability, we can often offer the services of Remember My Baby who are a UK based registered charity that have professional photographers volunteering their services and providing sensitive professional images for families to keep.

Samples of photographs are available in the wards and on the website www.remembermybaby.org.uk. For further information and to contact a photographer please speak to a member of staff.

A blessing/naming/ baptism ceremony

You may wish to have a blessing or naming ceremony to mark your baby’s birth and death. This can be a helpful memory to keep. Some parents may wish to have a religious service while others prefer something non-religious. As parents, it is your choice, and your wishes will be respected. Our hospital chaplains can discuss your wishes and arrange this with you, or you can contact your own faith leader if you prefer.

Where does my baby go to now?

Leaving your baby in the care of others can be a difficult decision to make and presents you with several choices. You do not have to make any decisions immediately.

There may come a time when you decide that it is best for your baby to be cared for in the hospital mortuary until the Funeral Director is able to take your baby to the funeral home. Whilst your baby is in the hospital mortuary, you and your family will be able to visit. To arrange this, please speak with ward staff. Alternatively, you may ask your Funeral Director to take your baby to the funeral home at the earliest opportunity. In this case, you would consult your Funeral Director regarding this.

Some parents decide to take their baby home for a short while, or until the funeral service. To help you do this we have a cuddle cot (cool cot) which is available for use at home or in the family room in the hospital. This is entirely your decision, and you will not be judged whatever you decide. If you would like to do this, or have any questions about this, please speak to a member of staff.

If you have authorised a post-mortem examination, your baby will return to hospital for this, and can return to the Funeral Director’s care afterwards.

If you would like to do this, please speak with a member of staff.

Appointments with Paediatrician/Neonatologist

Following the death of a baby you will be offered the opportunity to meet with a consultant to review your baby’s care and the results of any tests arranged. This may help you to understand what happened and ask questions. If you have any concerns about this meeting, you can contact the Neonatal Unit at Ninewells.

Post-mortem examination

The medical and midwifery staff will discuss the reasons for suggesting a post-mortem examination. This can be a very difficult yet important decision to make. There are different types of examination available, and these will be explained. You will be given some time to consider your options. You may find it helpful to watch the short film by Sands (www. sands.org.uk) about making this decision. The film is also available on the ward iPad which staff can help you access. The examination cannot take place without your consent and signature. After the examination you will still be able to see and hold your baby.

Some parents may wish to discuss this further and consider their faith, cultural and religious views when making these decisions. A chaplain can offer a space to process your thoughts and feelings about this. They will not inflict their views or opinions on you, and they will not tell you what to do. If you would like to speak to a chaplain, they can be reached on the number at the back of this booklet or by speaking to a member of staff.

Post-mortem results

Sometimes the results from the examination can take several months, however this should not affect arrangements for your baby’s funeral. You will be offered an appointment to discuss the results with staff members involved in your baby’s care. If you have any concerns about when these results will be returned, you can contact the Neonatal Unit at Ninewells.

Perinatal Mortality Review Tool (PMRT)

You and your baby’s care will be reviewed by the hospital using a structured process so that what happened at every stage of your pregnancy, birth and after discharge, is considered by staff reviewing care in a standardised way. Importantly, as parents you will be asked by a key contact if you have any questions or views on your care that you would like the review panel to respond to. This process can take several months and once the panel has finished its review the results can be fedback to parents.

Key contact

Before leaving the hospital, you will be given the name and contact details of a member of staff that will be in touch with you in the coming weeks. This will be to see how you are doing following the death of your baby and to see if they can help signpost you to any supportive services at this time. They will not be able to answer any questions you may have about what happened to your baby, but they may be able to help you think of questions that you could ask the Paediatrician/ Neonatologist and/ or for the PMRT.

Registering your baby’s death

The hospital will provide you with your baby’s death certificate. You must take this certificate with you when you go to register the death. Your baby’s death must be registered within eight days.

What do I need to register the death?

If your baby’s birth has already been registered, then you should take the birth certificate along with the death certificate to the Registrar.

If your baby’s birth has not been registered, the birth and death can both be registered at the same time. Firstly, you will need to register the birth and Neonatal staff will give you the form required.

You will need:

- Your baby’s Medical Certificate of Cause of Death. This will be scanned directly to the registrar that you chose by the hospital.

- Your baby’s full name, home address and the place and date of birth.

- Parents full names, addresses and occupations.

- Whether your baby will be buried or cremated.

Where do I register the birth/death?

You can register the birth/death at any Registrar’s Office in Scotland. To help you find the nearest office to you, a list of Registrars’ offices can be found on www.gov.uk/registeroffices. It may be helpful to phone the office and arrange an appointment.

On completion of the registration the Registrar will give you Form 14. Please hand this form to your funeral director who can then finalise your arrangements.

Who can register a baby’s birth?

If parents are married, only one parent needs to go to the registry office. If you are a married same sex couple, the birth mother needs to be present and the other parent(s) needs to attend if they want their details to be registered. If you are not married, it is essential for the mother to be present and both parents need to attend if you wish the father’s details to be recorded.

Who can register a baby’s death?

Either parent can register their babies death. You can take a friend or family member with you for support during the registration process.

Special Circumstances

If an urgent burial or cremation is required out of office hours, e.g. at weekends, public holidays etc, the family should be advised to contact their normal District Registry Office telephone number where a recorded message will give the telephone contact details of the On-Call Registrar who should be able to attend to the family’s needs.

Further information can be found at: www.nrscotland.gov.uk/registration/registering-a-death

Arranging your baby’s funeral

For many parents, this may be the first experience of a death within your family and planning your baby’s funeral can feel overwhelming. Speak to your key contact if you would like some guidance as they can signpost you to the right help and support.

Once the appropriate registration and documentation has been completed there is no legal time limit as to when the funeral takes place. However, some faith and belief traditions may require a baby to be buried/ cremated within a certain time.

Your Funeral Director can help you consider and plan your baby’s funeral. We would advise you to take your time and carefully consider all the options available to you. Some of the information on the following pages may help you with these decisions.

Choosing a funeral director

There may be several Funeral Directors who are local to you. NHS Tayside is unable to recommend a Funeral Director. However, you can find information online. You may want to think carefully about who you should approach. It is important that you are able to hold the kind of funeral you want. Funerals can be very expensive and there can be a large variation in the costs between different Funeral Directors, however many Funeral Directors do not charge for a baby’s funeral. Make sure you ask about the costs before agreeing to arrangements as it is your responsibility to pay for the funeral. You can ask for a free written quotation. The amount of money spent on the funeral does not reflect the amount of love you have for your baby. If you should require financial assistance, please contact a Jobseekers Plus office for advice, or Funeral Link (www. funerallink.org.uk or call: 01382 458800); or your Funeral Director may be able to advise you.

What type of service can I have?

You may want to think about who you would like to conduct the funeral service and the type of service you would like. You may wish to use your own minister, priest or spiritual/religious leader if you have one.

Please take time to consider whether you would prefer to have your baby buried or cremated. Should you wish to speak to one of our chaplains to discuss this further they can be reached on the number at the end of this booklet.

Burial

You can choose to have your baby buried at a cemetery of your choice. It may feel important to you to have your baby buried near your home and family, or in a sacred place in accordance with your cultural/religious beliefs. You may wish them to be buried in a place you can visit whenever you wish. Your Funeral Director will discuss this with you. In some cemeteries you can purchase a small plot of land (‘quarter size lair’), which is only suitable for a baby. This quarter lair may be situated in a children’s garden/ area of the cemetery. Your Funeral Director will be able to discuss this with you and advise about any regulations regarding headstones. You may prefer to purchase a larger plot (‘full lair’). This is more expensive but can be used in future as a family grave. Your family may already have a lair/plot, which can be used.

Cremation

Alternatively, you may choose to have your baby cremated at a crematorium of your choice. A cremation for babies is free of charge in Scotland. If it is important to have your baby’s ashes returned to you, please check with your Funeral Director that this is possible.

Following the cremation, your Funeral Director will advise you regarding the availability of any ashes and arrangements for collection.

Many crematoria have a children’s garden area where you can arrange to scatter any ashes or visit. Visiting the crematorium or burial ground may help you to make a decision.

Comforting suggestions for the funeral

Whether you choose burial or cremation, there are several things you may wish to do which can help to provide some comfort. It may help to have a family photo placed with your baby. Some parents write a personal letter or have drawings which young family members have made, to stay with their baby. You may choose a special toy to accompany your baby. However, there may be some restrictions if your baby is to be cremated.

You may wish to dress your baby in certain clothes or wrap them in a special blanket. Perhaps there is a piece of music, poem or song that you would like to include in the service. Your Funeral Director will be able to advise you of these options.

The grieving process and your family

When a baby dies, you may experience overwhelming feelings of loss and sadness, which we call grief. When and how we grieve is different for each individual. You may experience a whole range of different feelings. These feelings may come in waves and can change throughout a day or even within an hour.

Grief is not a mental illness and although it can be so hard, it is normal and healthy to express grief. This may look different for everyone.

Among the feelings and emotions parents tell us they have experienced are:

• A sense of numbness and disbelief – Has this really happened to me?

• Feelings of confusion and unfairness – Why has this happened to me?

• Going over and over what happened and ‘What ifs’

• Fear of being alone yet not wanting company.

• Thinking about potential future pregnancies.

• A feeling of deep loss and emptiness.

• Feeling the loss of a future you had hoped for.

• The feeling of guilt and the need to find an answer as to why this happened.

• Uncontrollable crying.

• The feeling that no one else understands how you feel.

• Inability to cope with day-to-day life.

• Anger that can be directed at many things/people.

All these feelings are normal and will ease in time. You may also experience some physical symptoms such as difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, pain and poor concentration.

Sometimes your grief can make you feel so emotionally overwhelmed and/or low and may take over from other feelings. You may also experience flashbacks or intrusive memories or what happened that are difficult to process. If these difficulties persist, you may want to consider seeking support from a trained professional. You can consult your GP, Midwife, Family Nurse, Health Visitor or one of the Bereavement Counsellors. At the end of this booklet, you will find contact numbers for local support.

We recommend that you read the Sands (Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Society) Bereavement Support book that is included in your pack. You may also wish to download the Sands App which is free and available on all devices via the app/ Google Play store.

Whilst family and friends can help to comfort and support you, it may be helpful to talk to someone who is not connected to you or your family, and who will listen and try to understand. Other people may see the funeral as a way of saying goodbye to your baby. However, for you as parents, it is often in the weeks and months after the funeral that the reality, emptiness and pain of grief can feel more real.

Gradually many of these feelings will subside and become more manageable, enabling you to cope with life again. The passing of time may help, although there is no set time as to when these feelings ease.

It is normal for feelings of grief to reoccur particularly at anniversaries, birthdays or other special events. Whilst family and friends can help to support you through your grief, they are also grieving. It may be helpful for them to read the following information or the Sands Bereavement Support book. They could also download the Sands App.

Do I need counselling?

Counselling is a ‘talking therapy’ and can provide you with a dedicated confidential space to explore your feelings and grief with a neutral person outside of your family and friends. Not everyone will want or need professional help and you may find that talking to family and friends or other parents who have been through a similar loss is enough for you. Some parents may need support after a few months, whilst for others future pregnancies may lead to them accessing support. It is important that you get the right support at the right time for you.

However, some people benefit from speaking to a counsellor about their feelings to help ease the process and work through any remaining issues they may have.

Some people may benefit from more specialist therapies to help cope with traumatic loss and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a counsellor may explore this with you or refer you to someone with specialist skills such as a Psychologist.

Counselling is available from one of the NHS Tayside Bereavement Counsellors, privately and through some charitable organisations mentioned at the back of this booklet. Everyone’s grief and needs are different; you may need to make other enquiries or ask your GP what they would recommend before you make a decision.

Information for bereaved fathers/ partners

When your baby dies, it often seems as though the attention is focused on the mother. As a bereaved father/ partner, you may experience many of the same emotions and feelings as your partner, although not necessarily at the same time.

Immediately after your loss you may be the one who is expected to inform family and friends. Sometimes it may help to ask a close friend or relative to make some of these contacts for you. You should be able to stay in hospital with your partner and baby for as long as you wish. You will need time together to begin to discuss the options available to you for the funeral.

When you go home from hospital, it often helps to do practical things such as registering your baby’s birth.

You may be able to help with cooking, or shopping, or ask a friend/relative to do this. You may feel like you want to immediately pack away any of your baby’s items such as the pram and cot, or maybe to hold on to them. There are no rights and wrongs with this, and it is important to do what feels right for you and your partner. It is OK to take time to do this if you wish and find the right time for you both.

You could talk to your employer regarding taking time off work. If after this time you still feel unable to work, please consult your GP.

As you meet colleagues and friends, they may be reluctant to raise the subject of your baby for fear of upsetting you. Often others may ask about your partner and not ask how you are, you can reply that you are both very upset.

It can be helpful to speak about how the death of your baby is impacting on you too. This can be something you do with your partner or on your own. If you feel you want further support, you can contact one of the local support numbers at the back of this booklet.

Information for family and friends

Supporting a friend or relative whose baby has died can be very difficult if you are also grieving. If there are other children in the family, you could offer to help with childcare.

You may be able to help by doing some shopping, cooking or household chores. Sometimes offering practical support like this can be a relief for some grieving parents, giving them time and space to grieve.

It is often helpful to take time to listen to the parents as they talk about their baby. When you talk about their baby try to use their baby’s name. Looking at photographs of the baby with the parents can also be very helpful. Do not worry if you become upset and cry; this happens because you care.

If you feel that you would like to speak to someone about how you are feeling, please feel free to contact one of the support numbers at the back of this booklet.

Other children in your family

Parents with other children are often anxious about how their children will be affected by the death. Children of different ages perceive and react to death in different ways. Often children cope with death much better than we anticipate.

Do not be worried if your child seems uninterested or unaffected by your baby’s death. Children will grieve in their own way and at their own pace. It is best if parents can be open and honest with their child in an age-appropriate way.

Answer your children’s questions as they arise. Often questions arise when you least expect it, or the same ones can come up repeatedly.

The following guidelines may be helpful.

• Use honest words such as “Our baby has died” or “Your baby brother/sister has died”. Use your baby’s name as much as possible.

• It may be helpful to explain to children that after someone dies, their body does not work anymore. Although it looks as if the baby is sleeping, this is different, their heart is not beating, and they do not breathe.

• Try to avoid euphemisms or unclear language. Using phrases such as “Our baby is now a star” or “We have lost our baby” can be confusing for children.

• Consider letting your children see your baby either in hospital or at your Funeral Director.

• It is important that children understand where the baby has gone after the funeral. You can explain that after we die our body is either buried or cremated. It may be helpful to visit the grave with your children if you have one.

• You should inform your children’s nursery/teachers of your baby’s death. You may find that your child may talk to the teacher about your baby, yet they do not talk with you. It may be helpful for you to meet with your child’s teacher to discuss if there have been any noticeable changes in behavior, or concerns.

• It may be helpful to encourage your children to make their own personal memory box, similar to your own, for example, using photos, drawings and cards. This can be kept as a lifelong keepsake which can be revisited and added to if they wish.

Our bereavement counsellors can offer support/ advice about speaking to siblings of any age. The Archie Foundation (www. archie.org) also offer free age-appropriate books that can help to explain death to a child and support them in saying goodbye and remembering their baby brother or sister.

Remembering your baby

Books of remembrance

NHS Tayside has two books of remembrance. The books are available for viewing by contacting one of the chaplains or the bereavement officer. Their details are at the back of this booklet. The books can also be accessed at our memorial services.

Dundee Book of remembrance

The Book of remembrance is on display in the chapel at Ninewells Hospital, with the page opened on the current day. The details entered into the book are your baby’s name as you wish it to appear and their date of birth, or death.

If you would like to have your baby’s name entered into the book, please complete the form provided in this information pack and return it to a member of staff. You may do this at any time. Alternatively, there are also forms provided in the chapel where the book is kept.

Perth Book of remembrance

This book is kept in the Spiritual Care Centre at Perth Royal Infirmary. The book can be viewed on request. To do this please contact the Chaplain based at Perth Royal Infirmary on 01738 473896. To arrange an entry, please speak to one of the Bereavement Counsellors.

Remembrance services

NHS Tayside holds memorial services annually in Dundee and Perth. These services are non-religious and accessible to any parent, sibling, grandparent or any other family members/ friends. They provide an opportunity to remember your baby, reflect on your feelings through music and poetry and meet other bereaved parents. Support is available at the service from members of NHS Tayside Spiritual Care Team, as well as other staff representatives from NHS Tayside and local third sector support agencies mentioned at the back of this booklet. Announcements with dates and times for the services are made through the local press and social media. There are also other remembrance services held locally and nationally throughout the year both virtually and in person. Information about these can be found on the individual organisations’ social media platforms and websites some of which are included in the back of this booklet.

Further help and support

Prior to you leaving hospital you will be asked by a member of staff if you would like someone from the bereavement counselling and support service to contact you. This service can offer you a confidential space to support you through the bereavement process. The service currently operates on weekdays during office hours. It may be that you do not want or need support at this time but want to get in touch in future. You can arrange to talk to one of the Bereavement Counsellors by leaving a message on the answer phone. Appointments can be over the telephone, virtually or in person in various locations across NHS Tayside. Evening appointments until 8pm may also be arranged upon request. This is not an urgent or crisis service. If you are needing urgent support, please call 111 or emergency support such as Samaritans or Breathing Space. Their details are at the back of this booklet.

Support Services following pregnancy loss or death of a baby

NHS Tayside Maternity and Neonatal Loss

Bereavement Support/ Counselling

Providing support and counselling to families who have experienced the loss of a baby in pregnancy (14 weeks gestation onward), stillbirth, termination for fetal abnormality or neonatal death.

Tel: 01382 496515

Tayside Sands

Support group and befriending run by other bereaved parents and family members. www.facebook.com/TaysideSands/?locale=en_

GB

Sands UK

Support, information, advice and resources (including a bereavement app) and online support group for anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby/ babies.

Email: helpline@sands.org.uk

Tel: 0808 164 3332 www.sands.org.uk/

Alternatives Dundee Listening and Counselling Rooms

Local Dundee charity providing listening support and counselling to men and women who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or baby loss.

Email: info@alternativesdundee.co.uk

Tel: 01382 221112 Text: 07599 955 231 www.alternativesdundee.org/

Child Bereavement UK

Provides support and guidance to children and young people following a loss.

Email: enquiries@childbereavementuk.org

Free Tel Helpline: 0800 02 888 40

Online Chat Helpline: helpline@childbereavementuk.org www.childbereavementuk.org/

Twins Trust

Provides support for all parents and carers of twins, triplets or more who have died during or shortly after pregnancy. Helpline, Twinline, is open Monday to Friday from 10am-1pm and from 7pm-10pm on 0800 138 0509 www.twinstrust.org/

Cruse Scotland Grief and Bereavement Support

Provides information and bereavement support for adults, children and young people following a loss. Free Helpline: 0808 802 6161 www.crusescotland.org.uk/

Winston’s Wish

Providing support, advice and resources to grieving children and young people following the death of a sibling. Free Helpline: 08088 020 021 (Mon-Fri 8am-8pm) Email: ask@winstonswish.org www.winstonswish.org/

NHS Tayside Spiritual Care/Chaplaincy

Email: tay.wellbeing@nhs.scot

Tel: 01382 423110 (Mon-Fri, 8am-4pm)

Providing a listening ear and emotional support to reflect on your experience, ways of coping, beliefs and concerns as well as advice or access to spiritual and religious care matters within NHS Tayside.

Baby Loss Retreat

Offering free 2-day retreats to give space and time to reflect to those following the death of a baby. Email: babylossretreat@hotmail.com www.babylossretreat.org.uk

Other services

NHS Tayside Bereavement officer

NHS Tayside Bereavement officer

Providing advice and information on practical issues following bereavement, e.g., registering a death, arranging a funeral, etc

Email: tay.bereavementtayside@nhs.scot

Tel: 01382 740522

Memory Milk Gift

Information and advice should you wish to donate your breast milk and have your baby’s name added to the Memory Milk Tree in Glasgow Queen Elizabeth Hospital

Email: donor.milkbank@ggc.scot.nhs.uk Tel: 0141 232 79723

Financial Support

Money Advice Service

Providing online information and advice on your financial entitlements following a stillbirth or neonatal loss.

Funeral Link Dundee

Providing support and friendly advice how to arrange an affordable funeral.

Email: info@funerallink.org.uk

Tel: 01382 458800

www.funerallink.org.uk/

Emergency/ Crisis support

Samaritans

Call free day or night – 116 123

Email jo@samaritans.org

Breathing Space

0800 83 85 87 www.breathingspace.scot

SHOUT

Text 24/7 for crisis support on 85258

https://giveusashout.org/

Further

reading

You may find some of these books and leaflets helpful.

Saying goodbye to your baby Sands

Understanding grief Cruse Scotland

The Bereaved Parent Harriet Sarnoff Schiff

When pregnancy fails

Coping with miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death

Susan Borg and Judith Lasker

The Baby Loss Guide: Practical and compassionate support with a day-by-day resource to navigate the path of grief Zoe Clark-Coates

The Plain Guide to Grief John Wilson PhD

Grieving after the death of your baby

Child Bereavement Trust

Fathers Feel Too

A Book for Men by Men on Coping with the Death of a Baby

Andrew Don

For children:

Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine

An activity book for bereaved children

Diana Crossley

The Invisible String Patrice Karst

My Sibling Still

Megan Lacourrege www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAZtgBbgI9c

The Maternity & Neonatal Bereavement Support Service wants to hear about your experience.

You can tell us what was good or what could have been better by using the QR code, using this link www.careopinion.org.uk/453/ maternity-neonatal-bereavement-supportservice or by calling: 0800 122 3135 All stories are safe and anonymous.

Notes/Comments

Please use this space to write down any questions you may wish to ask, or notes you need to make. You may find it helpful to bring this list with you to any future appointments.

Developed and reviewed by parents, bereavement counsellors, medical, midwifery and nursing staff, chaplains and psychologists within NHS Tayside.

Revised: 10/2023 Review: 10/2025 LN1247

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