Princess of Wales Bereavement Booklet English by bereavementadvice

Practical help and information following the death of someone close to you

Princess of Wales Bereavement Booklet Publication date: December 2023 Review date: December 2025 Published by RNS Publications © Tel: 01253 832400 R13

CONTENTS Introduction............................................................................... 1 When someone close to you dies ........................................... 2 Unforeseen circumstances...................................................... 2 What are the next steps ......................................................... 3 Chaplaincy............................................................................... 4 Medical Examiner Service ..................................................... 4 Death in the community .......................................................... 5 Coroner’s office ...................................................................... 6 Registering a death ................................................................ 8 Tell us once service............................................................... 10 Financing a funeral..................................................................11 Viewing your loved one ........................................................ 12 Coping with grief and loss...................................................... 13 Signposting for support.......................................................... 14

INTRODUCTION Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board would like to offer you our deepest sympathy at this time. Coping with bereavement can be extremely difficult and we know that it is not easy to turn your thoughts to the practical arrangements that are now needed. This booklet has been written to give you the essential information you need at this difficult time. We do hope it will be helpful for you and we would appreciate any feedback you may have, if you feel the information could be improved.

WHEN SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU DIES Regardless of the reason that someone has died, coming to terms with what has happened can be extremely difficult. You may experience a mixture of emotions as people all grieve differently. It may help to share how you feel with friends and relatives who may also be experiencing the same feelings of loss and emptiness. For some people extra support may be necessary from support services, which are detailed in this booklet. This may be of particular importance where those close to the person are particularly distressed or have a mental health problem or learning disability. Following the death of someone close to you there are legal processes which must be followed and this booklet aims to guide you through them, as sensitively and respectfully as possible.

UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES There may be occasions where the information in this booklet may need to be changed at short notice due to information provided from the government. If this is the case, the changes will be well communicated to you by our bereavement officers, including details of how it will affect you and your loved one.

WHAT ARE THE NEXT STEPS? In the first instance, you will need to contact the bereavement officer at the relevant hospital: Royal Glamorgan Hospital Prince Charles Hospital Princess of Wales Hospital Ysbyty Cwm Rhondda Ysbyty Cwm Cynon

Tel: 01443 443249 Tel: 01685 728625 Tel: 01656 754088 Tel: 01443 430022 (ext 72644) Tel: 01443 715217

The Bereavement Officers are available 9.00am - 4.00pm Monday to Friday, however they are not available at weekends or on Bank Holidays. Within Community Hospitals the opening times are 9.00am - 12.30pm. Any calls outside of these times, you can leave a voicemail. The officers will explain what happens next with regards to the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, sometimes called a Death Certificate or Medical Certificate. The team will ask you some identifying questions to find out who the patient is, as well as your name, contact details and relationship to the deceased. They will establish if you are the person who will be responsible for Registration of Death and ask for the name of the funeral director you wish to use, if you have decided. You will also be asked whether you will be planning for a burial or cremation. This is so that the team are able to ensure the right paperwork is completed for you, as swiftly as possible. You will be able to ask the team any questions you may have and they will be able to support you. 3

You can call the team as many times as you like, and they will keep in contact with you to keep you updated on the progress of the paperwork. They can also advise you on your relative/ friend’s belongings. If you feel you are struggling, they can also help to find you the right support during your bereavement, so please ask if you think this would help you.

CHAPLAINCY Hospital chaplains are available for all aspects of spiritual and holistic care within our health board for various faith denominations. You can contact them via hospital switchboard or you can email ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk Other support can be found as follows: Jewish Faith: Cardiff United Synagogue Tel: 02920 473728 Islamic Faith: Muslim Council for Wales Tel: 02920 224466/02920 344555

MEDICAL EXAMINER SERVICE In line with new government requirements, Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board is working closely with the Medical Examiner Service.

The medical examiner is a senior doctor not involved in the care of the patient, who provides an independent scrutiny of each death. This service allows the cause of death to be more accurately identified, and the circumstances surrounding the death to be more objectively assessed. The medical examiner has a team of medical examiner officers, who will contact you in the days following the death of your relative/friend. They will discuss with you the cause of death, and listen to your views on the care provided. They can answer any questions you may have about the cause of death and the circumstances of the death.

IF YOUR RELATIVE/FRIEND HAS DIED AT HOME, OR IN THE COMMUNITY Depending on the circumstances, it would usually be the patient’s GP who completes the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death when a person dies at home or in a residential/care home. If you know who your relative/friend’s GP is, you can contact them for more information. If the death is sudden, unexpected or the deceased has not been seen recently by their GP, the coroner’s office may be involved. The GP or the police (if in attendance) may be able to advise you on this. There is further information about the role of the coroner further in this booklet. However, if you feel you need any support please contact the bereavement officers on the relevant numbers earlier in the booklet.

CORONER’S OFFICE The coroner is an independent officer with the statutory responsibility for the legal investigation of certain categories of deaths. The coroner is either a doctor or a lawyer by background, and is supported by a team of coroner’s officers, who investigate any deaths which are referred to the coroner. Whenever a death has been reported to the Coroner, the local Registrar of Births and Deaths must wait for the Coroner to finish his enquiries before the death can be registered. Paperwork will then be issued allowing for the funeral to proceed. In some cases, the Coroner may open an inquest which is a judicial inquiry into the death. There are many other reasons why a doctor may refer a death to the coroner. If your relative/friend died in hospital, the medical examiner’s office will inform you when they call, if a coroner’s referral is needed, once they have spoken with the clinician. Once the coroner has received the referral, one of the coroner’s officers will contact you within 48 hours to discuss the referral with you and listen to any views you may have. They will be able to answer any questions you have about the coronial process, advise you on next steps and support you. If the coroner is satisfied that there is no investigation needed into your relative/friend’s death, they will advise the doctor to proceed with writing the Medical Cause of Death Certificate. This means you can proceed with registration once the certificate has been completed by the doctor.

Sometimes, the coroner may feel that further investigation is needed, and this investigation may include an inquest. When this happens, the doctor will no longer need to issue the Medical Cause of Death Certificate and the Coroner’s Office will take over all aspects of paperwork relating to the death. An inquest is a public court hearing held by the coroner to decide who died, how, when and where the death happened. This can be with or without the need for a post mortem examination of your relative/friend. The coroner’s officers will clearly explain to you what happens next and explain the procedure if this happens, as well as discuss with you the decision by the coroner about whether a post mortem examination is needed. Going through an inquest can be upsetting and complicated at an already difficult time for you and your family. If you need any support, please see the signposting to support agencies at the back of the booklet.

REGISTERING A DEATH Once the doctor has completed the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, you will then be able to register the death of your relative/friend. The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death will be sent electronically to the registrar for you, either by the Medical Examiner Service or the bereavement officers. The appointment at the registrars will take place at the Register Office of Births, Deaths & Marriages, and it will be at the office in the area where your relative/friend has died. Rhondda Cynon Taff Merthyr Tydfil Bridgend

Tel: 01443 494024 Tel: 01685 727333 Tel: 01656 642392/93/94/91

The registrar will ask you for: • • • • • • •

the date and place of death the full name and surname of the deceased person (and the maiden surname if the deceased was a married woman/civil partner) the date and place of birth the occupation of the deceased and, if the deceased person was married or in a civil partnership, the full name and occupation of their spouse or civil partner their usual address the date of birth of a surviving spouse or civil partner details of any public sector pension e.g. civil service, teacher or armed forces.

If you have them, it would be useful to take with you your relative/friend’s Birth Certificate, Marriage or Civil Partnership Certificate and NHS Medical Card, or recent hospital letter with the NHS number. You may also need to take with you your own identification documents, such as: • •

Passport/Driving Licence/Birth Certificate Proof of Address (like a utility bill or bank statement)

The registrars will take you step by step through the process of registration, and at the end of your appointment you will be given certified copies of the Certificate of Cause of Death, sometimes referred to as a death certificate. The Certificate of Cause of Death is often required for bank accounts, insurance purposes, or any other financial or legal purpose, so it is often worth purchasing some copies if needed - most places won’t accept a photocopy, only an original copy. You can purchase official copies at the time of your appointment with the registrar. The registrar will also issue a Green Form. The official name of this form is the Certificate of Burial or Cremation. The registrar will send this form electronically to your funeral director.

TELL US ONCE SERVICE Tell Us Once is a service run by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) and is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go. This includes the DVLA, Passport Office, all Local Authority services, all DWP services, such as State Pensions or Income Support, and any HMRC (His Majesty’s Revenue & Customs) services. Banks will need to be notified separately and will require a copy of the death certificate. At the time of the registration, the registrar can provide you with a unique reference number which will be used to notify various government and local authority departments of the death. More information will be given to you by the registrar at your appointment. You can either phone the Tell Us Once service or complete a form online, but this must be done within 28 days of getting your unique reference number from the registrar. To use this service, you will need on hand: • • • •

the deceased’s National Insurance Number details of any benefits or services they may have been receiving their driving licence their passport

For further information The Tell Us Once service can be accessed through www.gov.uk or on 0800 085 7308.

FINANCING A FUNERAL The cost of a funeral is unfortunately not something that everyone prepares for, and can be quite distressing for the person trying to organise it. Once a bank is informed of someone’s death, the only thing that can be paid out of their account is the cost of a funeral. You can request a basic funeral from your local funeral director, including a direct cremation option which may help to keep costs as low as possible. All of these options are still carried out with the most dignity and respect to the deceased, however extra services such as funeral cars, flowers etc would not be included. We appreciate that you may not be aware of the person’s finances and may have never discussed money with them before. It is important that as early as possible, you can identify if a funeral cost can be covered and if you are in doubt you notify the bereavement officer. In certain circumstances, there is a grant that can help with the cost of a funeral, further information can be found here: www.gov.uk/funeral-payments Our bereavement team are available to discuss your circumstances and support you at this difficult time.

VIEWING YOUR LOVED ONE There may be times where viewing your loved one may be difficult to arrange whilst they are in our care. We will ensure that if seeing them is something that is important to you, we will do everything we can to facilitate it. In the event that a viewing is not possible at the hospital, or that we feel that viewing your loved one would be inappropriate or distressing, your chosen funeral director will be able to assist you with options for memory making in the most appropriate way. In the event that the deceased is being taken for a direct cremation, we will endeavour to arrange a viewing for you, if you so wish, upon request prior to them being collected.

COPING WITH GRIEF AND LOSS We will all experience grief in our own way; however, there are some feelings and reactions that many people experience, these include: • • • • • • • • • •

Feeling numb Feeling very tearful one minute then not being able to cry the next Anger towards the situation or towards others Anxiety to leave the house or to see people you know Feeling guilty and trying to blame yourself that somehow you could have prevented their death Challenges towards your faith and/or beliefs Loneliness, depression or feelings of not being able to cope Abandonment - How dare they leave, what will you do now? Low motivation for doing anything, even taking basic care of yourself can feel like a huge challenge Thinking you can hear them or forgetting that they’ve gone, then suddenly realising the truth

Grieving is a gradual process that can take a long time; it is important that you give yourself time to process what has happened and take care of yourself during this time. Grief can come in waves, you may feel okay one minute and then very low the next, or have good days and bad days. Sometimes if you have had a challenging relationship with the person who has died it can be more, not less, difficult - you may be grieving the relationship you wish you’d had, as well as the person who has died. If you feel like you are in need of further help with your mental health, please do reach out to your GP who will be able to listen to your feelings and assess your needs appropriately. 13

SIGNPOSTING FOR SUPPORT The following organisations may be of some comfort to you over the coming days, weeks and months. Please do look after yourselves and reach out to the professionals listed if you feel that you are struggling to cope with your grief and loss. Finally, on behalf of Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board, we extend our deepest sympathies to you on the death of your loved one and hope that you have found this guide helpful. If you have any questions about any of the processes explained or would like to provide us with any comments or feedback on our booklets or services, please feel free to email ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk. Age UK Cymru

A national organisation who help with feelings of loneliness and grief in older people.

Tel: 0300 303 4498

Asian Family Counselling Service www.asianfamilycounselling.org/ At a Loss

Providing local and national help and support.

www.ataloss.org/

British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy Advice on choosing a therapist through a list of accredited organisations.

Tel: 01455 883310 Email: bacp@bacp.co.uk www.bacp.co.uk/

Bereavement Support Network Tel: 0808 168 9607 www.bereavementsupport.co.uk Brake

Offers support to people bereaved and seriously injured by road traffic accidents.

Victim helpline: 0808 800 0401 Platfform Wellbeing

Provides specialists counselling and stepped bereavement support to people who have experienced a traumatic bereavement and/or complicated grief, through suicide or as a result of COVID and the additional challenges of the pandemic.

Tel: 02920 440191 Text: 07788 314975

Child Bereavement UK

Information and support line.

Tel: 0800 028 8840

Compassionate Friends

Bereaved parents offering support to others following the loss of a child at any age.

Tel: 0345 123 2304 Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk Compassionate Cymru

Helping people access and offer information, care and support in a compassionate way within their communities.

Email: contact@compassionate.cymru Coroner’s Office

Support and information following a sudden/unexpected death.

Email: coroneradmin@rctcbc.gov.uk Tel: 01443 281101 15

Cruse Bereavement Care

Offering support, advice to adults, children and young people when someone dies.

Tel: 0808 808 1677 (National Helpline) www.cruse.org.uk Email: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Merthyr Tydfil and Rhondda Cynon-Taf Tel: 01685 876020 Email: merthyr.rct@cruse.org.uk Bridgend Tel: 01792 462845 Email: morgannwg@cruse.org.uk DPJ Foundation

Provides bereavement support in agriculture, including support for those bereaved suddenly and by suicide.

Tel: 0800 587 4262 Text: 07860 048799

Hope Again (Cruse)

Supports young people who have recently lost someone.

Tel: 0808 808 1677 Email: hopeagain@cruse.org.uk Llamau

Aims to provide a multi-layered response to needs related to bereavement and loss in the wider sense.

Tel: 029 2023 9585 Email: enquiries@llamau.org.uk LGBTQ+ Helpline

Support for anyone who has lost someone close to them.

Email: hello@switchboard.lgbt Switchboard LGBT+ Helpline: 0800 0119 100 16

Macmillan

For free, confidential advice from their cancer specialists you can:

Call the Macmillan Support Line on 0808 808 00 00 Open 7 days a week, 8am to 8pm. (Opening times may vary for different specialist teams). Marie Curie Bereavement Support

Offers emotional help as well as handle the practical side of losing someone close to you.

Tel: 0800 090 2309 Mind Cymru

Provides advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem.

Tel: 0300 123 3393 Email: info@mind.org.uk Morgan’s Wings

Providing support to families following miscarriage.

Tel: 02921 326936 Email: info@morgans-wings.co.uk Samaritans

Samaritans can be contacted at any time, day or night, and someone will be available to listen and provide confidential and nonjudgmental emotional support.

Telephone: 116 123 (English) or 0808 164 0123 (Welsh) Text: 07725 909090 SANDS

SANDS provides support for bereaved parents and their families when their baby dies at or soon after birth.

Tel: 0808 164 3332

SOBS

If you have been bereaved or affected by suicide and you would like to talk with one of their volunteers about your experience, you can get in touch.

Tel: 0300 111 5065 Email: email.support@uksobs.org Welsh Widows

A group of people who have lost their loved ones through a variety of different circumstances, offering a listening ear via website or in person, in a safe environment.

Tel: 07749 542858 Email: friends@welshwidows.co.uk Widowed and Young (WAY)

Organisation that offers a peer-to-peer support network for anyone who’s lost a partner before their 51st birthday – married or not, with or without children, inclusive of sexual orientation, gender, race and religion.

Tel: 0300 201 0051 within office hours. Monday - Friday - 9.30am - 5.00pm Saturday and Sunday - Closed www.widowedandyoung.org.uk Winston’s Wish

Providing emotional and practical bereavement support to children, young people (up to 25) and those who care for them.

Freephone Helpline: 08088 020 021. We are open between 8am and 8pm, Monday to Friday. www.winstonswish.org 2wish

Supporting sudden deaths in children and young adults.

Tel: 01443 853125 Email: info@2wish.org.uk

The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services offering their help at this time. Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

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This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospital. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have. Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.

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Established in 2009, Riverside Funeral Services was the first independent female funeral director in the Bridgend borough. The business has grown to be one of the most respected and dignified funeral directors proudly serving your community. Michelle has come from an extensive medical background with over 20 years service as a midwife. At Riverside we pride our services on professionalism, traditional values and quality, mixed with modern principles of choice, compassion and imagination.

If you have any questions, or would like to talk about funeral arrangements including pre-planned funerals, please do not hesitate to contact us. Rear of Bridge Street, Ogmore Vale, CF32 7AL

OGMORE VALE BRANCH 01656 849036 PORTHCAWL BRANCH 01656 788883