Practical help and information following the death of someone close to you
Publication date: November 2024 Review date: November 2026
Princess of Wales Bereavement Booklet
INTRODUCTION
Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board would like to offer you our deepest sympathy at this time. Coping with bereavement can be extremely difficult and we know that it is not easy to turn your thoughts to the practical arrangements that are now needed.
This booklet has been written to give you the essential information you need at this difficult time. We do hope it will be helpful for you and we would appreciate any feedback you may have, if you feel the information could be improved.
WHEN SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU DIES
Regardless of the reason that someone has died, coming to terms with what has happened can be extremely difficult.
You may experience a mixture of emotions as people all grieve differently. It may help to share how you feel with friends and relatives who may also be experiencing the same feelings of loss and emptiness.
For some people extra support may be necessary from support services, which are detailed in this booklet. This may be of particular importance where those close to the person are particularly distressed or have a mental health problem or learning disability.
Following the death of someone close to you there are legal processes which must be followed and this booklet aims to guide you through them, as sensitively and respectfully as possible.
UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES
There may be occasions where the information in this booklet may need to be changed at short notice due to information provided from the government. If this is the case, the changes will be well communicated to you by our bereavement officers, including details of how it will affect you and your loved one.
WHERE IS MY LOVED ONE?
If your loved one died in Hospital they are now resting in one of our Mortuaries. Please be assured our team will care for them whilst your loved one is with us. Our Mortuaries are regulated by the Human Tissue Authority (HTA) and accredited by United Kingdom Accreditation Service (UKAS) to ensure we provide the highest standards of care.
There may be circumstances where we have to transfer your loved one within our Health Board. If we need to do this we will do so with dignity and respect.
The best place to view your loved one is in your chosen Funeral Directors’ care, once the Death Certificate had been completed. Your chosen Funeral Director is best able to prepare your loved one for you to view them. Viewing within the Health Board is only available in exceptional circumstances.
WHAT ARE THE NEXT STEPS?
In the first instance, you will need to contact the bereavement officer at the relevant hospital:
Royal Glamorgan Hospital Tel: 01443 443249
Prince Charles Hospital Tel: 01685 728625
Princess of Wales Hospital Tel: 01656 754088
Ysbyty Cwm Rhondda Tel: 01443 430022 (ext 72644)
Ysbyty Cwm Cynon Tel: 01443 715217
The Bereavement Officers are available 9.00am - 4.00pm Monday to Friday, however they are not available at weekends
or on Bank Holidays. Within Community Hospitals the opening times are 9.00am - 12.30pm. For any calls outside these times, you can leave a voicemail.
The officers will explain what happens next with regards the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, sometimes called a Death Certificate or Medical Certificate.
The team will ask you some identifying questions to find out who the patient is, as well as your name, contact details and relationship to the deceased. They will establish if you are the person who will be responsible for Registration of Death and ask for the name of the funeral director you wish to use, if you have decided.
All deaths are referred to the Medical Examiner Service or Coroner’s Office depending on the circumstance.
CHAPLAINCY
Hospital chaplains are available for all aspects of spiritual and holistic care within our health board for various faith denominations.
You can contact them via the bereavement officer’s telephone number or email ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk
Other support can be found as follows:
Jewish Faith: Cardiff United Synagogue, Tel 02920 473728 Islamic Faith: Muslim Council for Wales, Tel 02920 224466 / 02920 344555
MEDICAL EXAMINER SERVICE
In line with statutory legislation, all deaths will be referred to the MES for scrutiny.
The Medical Examiner is a senior doctor not involved in the care of the patient, who provides an independent scrutiny of each death. This service allows the cause of death to be identified, and the circumstances surrounding the death to be more objectively assessed.
The Medical Examiner is supported by a team of Medical Examiner Officers, who will contact you in the days following the death of your relative/friend. They will discuss with you the suggested cause of death and can answer any questions you may have.
CORONER’S OFFICE
In some circumstances, where deaths meet certain legal criteria, they are referred to the Coroner’s Office. The Coroner is an independent officer with the statutory responsibility for the legal investigation of certain categories of deaths.
The Coroner is either a doctor or a lawyer by background, and is supported by a team of Coroner’s Officers, who investigate any deaths which are referred to them. If this happens, you will be assigned a Coroner’s Officer who will support and guide you through the process, including if a Post Mortem is required. If your relative/friend died in hospital, the Bereavement Team will be able to advise you if a referral has been made.
Whenever a death has been reported to the Coroner, their enquiries must be completed before the death can be registered. Paperwork will then be issued allowing for the funeral to proceed. If you need any further support at any point, please see the signposting to support agencies within this booklet.
REGISTERING A DEATH
When the MCCD has been completed it will be sent electronically to the Register Office of Births, Deaths and Marriages and you will be contacted by the Registrar to make an appointment to register the death of your relative/friend.
The registrar will ask you for:
• the date and place of death
• the full name and surname of the deceased person (and the maiden surname if the deceased was a married woman/civil partner)
• the date and place of birth
• the occupation of the deceased and, if the deceased person was married or in a civil partnership, the full name and occupation of their spouse or civil partner
• their usual address
• the date of birth of a surviving spouse or civil partner
• details of any public sector pension e.g. civil service, teacher or armed forces.
If you have them, it would be useful to take with you your relative/friend’s Birth Certificate, Marriage or Civil Partnership Certificate.
You may also need to take with you your own identification documents, such as:
• Passport/Driving Licence/Birth Certificate
• Proof of Address (like a utility bill or bank statement)
The registrars will take you through the process of registration. When registration is complete you will be given a Certificate of Cause of Death (also known as a Death Certificate). You may request copies for a fee. These may be required for bank accounts, insurance purposes and other financial or legal purposes, so it is often worth purchasing some copies.
The registrar will also issue a Green Form. The official name of this form is the Certificate of Burial or Cremation. The registrar will send this form electronically to your funeral director.
TELL US ONCE SERVICE
Tell Us Once is a service run by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) and is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go.
This includes the DVLA, Passport Office, all Local Authority services, all DWP services, such as State Pensions or Income Support, and any HMRC (His Majesty’s Revenue & Customs) services. Banks will need to be notified separately and will require a copy of the death certificate.
At the time of the registration, the registrar can provide you with a unique reference number which will be used to notify various government and local authority departments of the death. More information will be given to you by the registrar at your appointment.
You can either phone the Tell Us Once service or complete a form online, but this must be done within 28 days of getting your unique reference number from the registrar. To use this service, you will need on hand:
• the deceased’s National Insurance Number
• details of any benefits or services they may have been receiving
• their driving licence
• their passport
For further information The Tell Us Once service can be accessed through www.gov.uk or on 0800 085 7308.
FINANCING A FUNERAL
The cost of a funeral is unfortunately not something that everyone prepares for, and can be quite distressing for the person trying to organising it. Once a bank is informed of someone’s death, the only thing can be paid out of their account is the cost of a funeral.
You can request a basic funeral from your local funeral director, including a direct cremation option which may help to keep costs as low as possible. All of these options are still carried out with the most dignity and respect to the deceased, however extra services such as funeral cars, flowers etc would not be included.
We appreciate that you may not be aware of the person’s finances and may have never discussed money with them before. It is important that as early as possible, you can identify if a funeral cost can be covered and if you are in doubt you notify the bereavement officer. In certain circumstances, there is a grant that can help with the cost of a funeral. Further information can be found here: www.gov.uk/funeral-payments
COPING WITH GRIEF AND LOSS
We will all experience grief in our own way; however, there are some feelings and reactions that many people experience, these include:
• Feeling numb
• Feeling very tearful one minute then not being able to cry the next
• Anger towards the situation or towards others
• Anxiety to leave the house or to see people you know
• Feeling guilty and trying to blame yourself that somehow you could have prevented their death
• Challenges towards your faith and/or beliefs
• Loneliness, depression or feelings of not being able to cope
• Abandonment - How dare they leave, what will you do now?
• Low motivation for doing anything, even taking basic care of yourself can feel like a huge challenge
• Thinking you can hear them or forgetting that they’ve gone, then suddenly realising the truth
Grieving is a gradual process that can take a long time; it is important that you give yourself time to process what has happened and take care of yourself during this time.
Grief can come in waves, you may feel okay one minute and then very low the next, or have good days and bad days. Sometimes if you have had a challenging relationship with the person who has died it can be more, not less, difficult - you may be grieving the relationship you wish you’d had, as well as the person who has died.
If you feel like you are in need of further help with your mental health, please do reach out to your GP who will be able to listen to your feelings and assess your needs appropriately.
SIGNPOSTING FOR SUPPORT
The following organisations may be of some comfort to you over the coming days, weeks and months. Please do look after yourselves and reach out to the professionals listed if you feel that you are struggling to cope with your grief and loss.
Finally, on behalf of Cwm Taf Morgannwg University Health Board, we extend our deepest sympathies to you on the death of your loved one and hope that you have found this guide helpful.
If you have any questions about any of the processes explained or would like to provide us with any comments or feedback on our booklets or services, please feel free to email ctm.bereavementsupport@wales.nhs.uk
Age UK Cymru
A national organisation who help with feelings of loneliness and grief in older people.
Tel: 0300 303 4498
Asian Family Counselling Service www.asianfamilycounselling.org/
At a Loss
Providing local and national help and support. www.ataloss.org/
British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy
Advice on choosing a therapist through a list of accredited organisations.
Tel: 01455 883300
Email: bacp@bacp.co.uk www.bacp.co.uk/
Bereavement Support Network
Tel: 0808 168 9607
www.bereavementsupport.co.uk
Brake
Offers support to people bereaved and seriously injured by road traffic accidents.
Victim helpline: 0808 800 0401
Child Bereavement UK
Information and support line.
Tel: 0800 028 8840
Compassionate Friends
Bereaved parents offering support to others following the loss of a child at any age.
Tel: 0345 123 2304
Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk
Compassionate
Cymru
Helping people access and offer information, care and support in a compassionate way within their communities.
Email: contact@compassionate.cymru
Coroner’s Office
Support and information following a sudden/unexpected death.
Email: coroneradmin@rctcbc.gov.uk
Tel: 01443 281101
Cruse Bereavement Care
Offering support, advice to adults, children and young people when someone dies.
Provides specialists counselling and stepped bereavement support to people who have experienced a traumatic bereavement and/or complicated grief, through suicide or as a result of COVID and the additional challenges of the pandemic.
Tel: 02920 440191
Text: 07788 314975
Samaritans
Samaritans can be contacted at any time, day or night, and someone will be available to listen and provide confidential and nonjudgmental emotional support.
Telephone: 116 123 (English) or 0808 164 0123 (Welsh)
SANDS
SANDS provides support for bereaved parents and their families when their baby dies at or soon after birth.
Tel: 0808 164 3332
SOBS
If you have been bereaved or affected by suicide and you would like to talk with one of their volunteers about your experience, you can get in touch.
Tel: 0300 111 5065
Email: email.support@uksobs.org
Welsh Widows
A group of people who have lost their loved ones through a variety of different circumstances, offering a listening ear via website or in person, in a safe environment.
Tel: 07749 542858
Email: friends@welshwidows.co.uk
Widowed and Young (WAY)
Organisation that offers a peer-to-peer support network for anyone who’s lost a partner before their 51st birthday – married or not, with or without children, inclusive of sexual orientation, gender, race and religion.
Tel: 0300 201 0051 within office hours.
Monday - Friday - 9.30am - 5.00pm
Saturday and Sunday - Closed www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
Winston’s Wish
Providing emotional and practical bereavement support to children, young people (up to 25) and those who care for them.
Freephone Helpline: 08088 020 021.
Open between 8am and 8pm, Monday to Friday. www.winstonswish.org
2wish
Supporting sudden deaths in children and young adults.
Tel: 01443 853125
Email: info@2wish.org.uk
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
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stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
Established in 2009, Riverside Funeral Services was the first independent female funeral director in the Bridgend borough
The business has grown to be one of the most respected and dignified funeral directors proudly serving your community
Michelle has come from an extensive medical background with over 20 years service as a midwife At Riverside we pride our services on professionalism, traditional values and quality, mixed with modern principles of choice, compassion and imagination
If you have any questions, or would like to talk about funeral arrang ements including pre-planned funerals, please do not hesitate to contact us.
