We would like to express our sincere condolences to you at this very difficult time. This booklet contains details about what needs to be done after the death of your relative or friend. We hope it will help you cope with some of the practical aspects such as registration and funeral arrangements. At the end of this booklet is a list of organisations that can provide you with help and support.
The hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain features from local services offering their help at this time.
Whilst the hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any other services they provide.
Contacting the The Medical Examiner’s Office
Please telephone the The Medical Examiner’s Office between 12.30 and 3.30pm weekdays on 01483 303361 (The office is closed weekends and bank holidays).
When you contact the The Medical Examiner’s Office a member of the team will request further information from you and advise you of the process.
This will include:
• Full name of the person who has died.
• Date of their death.
• Whether any relatives or visitors were present at the moment of death.
• Confirmation of next of kin, and or person leading the arrangements.
• If cremation or burial is planned.
• The last occupation of the deceased person.
• If your relative/friend had property with them in hospital that was not taken home please liaise with the ward reception about arranging collection.
Medical Certificate of Cause of Death
A Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) is needed to register the death of your relative or friend. The Medical Examiner’s Officer will work with the clinical team to ensure this is completed and will be able to advise you on the processes you will need to follow.
The Medical Examiner is a senior doctor who was not involved in the care of your loved one. The Medical Examiner reviews the medical records to understand the circumstances around the death and checks that the MCCD is written correctly. If you have any questions or concerns you can raise them with the Medical Examiner. The aim is that they will make it easier for you to understand the wording on the MCCD. You may receive a call from them once the certificate has been completed.
How long will I have to wait for a Medical Cause of Death Certificate (MCCD)?
The MCCD is a legal document which can only be issued by a doctor who knows the cause of death and was involved in the care of the deceased. This can mean sometimes an unavoidable wait for the certificate such as where there may be urgent clinical matters requiring attention.
A delay may occur if the doctor has to get approval of a cause of death from the coroner. Until the cause of death is approved by the Coroner, the doctor will not have permission to issue the certificate.
When the certificate is ready, we will send it electronically to Guildford Register Office so that you can register the death. We will call you once this is completed and provide you with the MCCD number.
Please do not book appointments with the Registrar or plan a funeral date until you have confirmation that the paperwork has been completed.
Referral to Coroner
In some circumstances the death may have to be referred to the Coroner. This is a legal requirement and cannot be avoided.
This may include:
• If the death was sudden or unexplained.
• If the death occurred during or following surgery/procedures.
• If your relative/friend had a fall/fracture.
• If your relative/friend was involved in an accident.
• If the death of your relative/friend may have involved an industrial disease.
Referrals to the Coroner need not be a cause of concern, although it will delay in the issuing of the MCCD.
When the Coroner reaches a decision they will notify the next of kin. The Medical Examiner’s Office will have to wait until formal notification is received from the Coroner’s Office before they can proceed.
Coroner’s Office contact number: 01483 404530
Hospital Post Mortems
Sometimes the hospital doctor who has written the MCCD may ask your permission to carry out a post mortem examination. This can help doctors understand more about the extent of the disease, or enhance medical knowledge in treating similar cases in the future. You will be under no pressure to agree to a hospital post mortem if you do not wish one to be carried out. The doctors will meet with you to explain what is involved and will ask you to sign a consent form before proceeding.
Mortuary
When a patient dies at the hospital they are attended to by the nursing staff before being taken to the mortuary. They are cared for here before being collected by a Funeral Director who has been instructed by the next of kin. The Medical Examiner Officer, a Chaplain from the Spiritual Care Service and the Mortuary Staff work together to respond to urgent pastoral need on site. The viewing room in the mortuary is a clinical space principally for the use of the Coroner and the Police Service. We advise families to make arrangements with their Funeral Directors should they wish to view their loved ones in a Chapel of Rest prior to a funeral.
There is no mortuary at Milford or Haslemere Hospitals and therefore there is an agreement to use the Mortuary facilities at the local undertakers.
Milford Hospital use:
J Gorringe and Son Funeral Director
55 Hare Lane, Farncombe, Godalming, Surrey, GU7 3EF
Tel. 01483 355663
Haslemere Hospital use:
G.M.Luff & Partner Funeral Director
84 Lion Lane, Haslemere, Surrey, GU27 1JH
Tel. 01428 643524
You are under no obligation to use these Funeral Directors and are free to make your own independent arrangements.
Who can give me advice?
Nursing Staff
The nurses on the ward will be pleased to try and answer any questions you have and discuss any problems. If you wish, they can contact a relative or friend for you.
Medical Team
The medical team is available to see relatives and close friends to answer your questions. A meeting can be arranged via the ward sister or nursing staff.
The Medical Examiner Service
Following their independent review of the cause of death and the events leading to death, the Medical Examiner may be able to provide you with further information or you can raise any significant concerns.
Spiritual Care Service
The Spiritual Care Service is available to support all patients, relatives and staff for their own spiritual need. There may be a need for a ritual intervention in a specific religious tradition and we can signpost a way for you. You might just wish for some support in a time of crisis. This can often be most relevant at a time of bereavement when deep existential questions become important.
The ongoing work of Spiritual Care Service involves remembering those who have died, and maintains a Baby Memorial Book is maintained in the Chapel Prayer Space on Level B.
You are very welcome to contact the Spiritual Care Service by phone on 01483 406835, internally on extension 4044, or by email rsch.spiritual-care@nhs.net
General Practitioner/Family Doctor
The Medical Examiner Officer will notify the deceased’s GP/Family Doctor within one to two days. You may wish to seek the help and support of your own GP.
The Fountain Centre
The Fountain Centre is an independent charity situated within St. Luke’s Cancer Centre and can offer information and support services to anyone affected by a diagnosis of cancer. They can offer pre and post bereavement support as well as signpost you to other local support services. Our one-to-one support, counselling and coaching is offered by qualified volunteers who are supported by a team of skilled health care professionals.
The Fountain Centre can be contacted on 01483 406618 between 09.00 and 17.00 Monday to Friday or email rsc-trfountaincentre@nhs.net
Donations in Memory
If you are thinking about a donation to charity instead of flowers, please consider Royal Surrey County Hospital Charity. They assist and care for patients in all parts of the hospital and would greatly value your support.
Please get in touch if they can help in anyway by calling 01483 464146. The lines are normally open Monday to Friday 8.30am to 4pm (closed weekends & bank holidays).
Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) has been completed, either the Medical Examiner or the Medical Examiners Officer will call you to discuss the contents of the MCCD. The paperwork is scanned directly to the Register Office and there is no need for the family to collect paperwork from the Medical Examiner’s Office. After you have been notified that the MCCD has been sent to the Registrar you can book an appointment online at: www.surreycc.gov.uk/birth-death-and-ceremonies/death/registration -appointment or by calling them on 0300 200 1002.
What the Registrar needs to know
During the appointment, the Registrar will ask you to provide the following information.
1. Date of Death.
2. Place of death.
• This will be the name of hospital or nursing home, house number, street name, postcode and village town etc.
• If the death took place in an ambulance, car etc then you need to provide information about the locality of the vehicle when the death occurred and the intended destination.
3. Name and surname of the deceased.
• This should be the name they were known as at the time of their death.
• You should also establish if they are known by any other name currently or previously.
• You need to record those details together with some notes as to the circumstances to help the Registrar ascertain how to record the information in the entry.
4. The gender of the deceased.
5. Maiden Surname of woman who has been married or civil partnership.
• This is the surname in which a woman contracted (first) marriage or Civil Partnership.
• Date of Birth: Please provide approximate dates if exact date not known.
6. Place of Birth.
• Town and county/London borough or country of birth and only country if born outside UK.
7. Occupation.
• Provide as much information about their job title relating to the most recent occupation.
• Please also record whether the deceased was retired.
8. Marital Status.
• This will be the marital status of the deceased at the time of their death.
• Single (never married or in a civil partnership), Divorced, Husband or Wife or Widower, Civil Partner or Surviving Civil Partner.
9. Spouse/Civil Partners Name and Surname.
• This should be the name and surname of the deceased’s spouse or civil partner.
10. Spouse/Civil Partners Occupation.
• Provides as much information as possible about their job title relating to the most recent occupation and if retired.
11. Usual Address.
• This should include the name or number of the house, name of the street and village or town.
• Where the death occurred in a hospital the deceased’s usual address should be recorded.
12. It would be helpful if you are able to locate the deceased’s NHS number, which can be found on their NHS card or prescription (however this is not essential).
Tell Us Once
Tell Us Once aims to ease the burden of bereaved relatives by allowing you to notify multiple government agencies at the same time about the death.
When you have your death registration appointment, the Registrar will register you on the Tell Us Once service. This will enable you later on to go online or make one telephone call to the Tell Us Once team who will, on your behalf, notify as many organisations that participate in the service as possible.
Organisations which can be informed include:
• Local Councils.
• Identity & Passport Service.
• Driver & Vehicle Licensing Agency.
• Department for Work & Pensions.
• HM Revenue & Customs.
Time Frame
The details recorded during registration will be kept on the Tell Us Once system for 28 days so it is essential that you contact the service within that time period.
Further Information
You can find out more information by going online at www.surreycc. gov.uk/people-and-community/birth-death-marriage-and-civilpartnerships/death/tell-us-once.
List of Local Funeral Directors
Funerals what to do first
Find out if there is a Will or any particular requests that the deceased may have left regarding their funeral arrangements.
If the death has to be reported to the Coroner, this may affect the date that the funeral can be held, but provisional arrangements may still be made with the Funeral Director. Please let your Funeral Director know that there may be a delay.
Funeral Directors
Most funerals are arranged by a Funeral Director and you will need to decide which one to use. A list of local Funeral Directors is available in this booklet or on request from The Medical Examiner’s Office or Coroner’s Office. It is a good idea to telephone two or three Funeral Directors for cost estimates to make a comparison.
Once you have made a decision it is worthwhile making tentative arrangements, which you can confirm later. Funeral arrangements can be made before the death has been registered.
Help with funeral costs
Funerals can be expensive so check where the money for the funeral will be coming from. If the person responsible for arranging the funeral is receiving any benefits, help with the funeral costs may be available from the local Job Centre. If you contact them ask for the Social Fund Section. Alternatively, the claim form SF200 is downloadable from the Department for Work and Pensions website at www.dwp.gov.uk. You may be eligible for Bereavement Support Payment if your spouse or civil partner is under state pension age at the time of death. The Medical Examiners Officer may also be able to give advice on where to get help.
Further Information
If you have issues regarding the care your relative/friend received the Patient Advice & Liaison Service (PALS) is available to support and assist you with any concerns you may have.
The PALS Office is open 9am to 3pm Monday to Friday except bank holidays.
The PALS team can be contacted: Tel: 01483 402757
Email: rsc-tr.PALS@nhs.net
Postal Address: PALS
Royal Surrey Hospital NHS Foundation Trust Egerton Road Guildford
Surrey GU2 7XX
Information on bereavement and grief with contact numbers and advice for finding ongoing support for you and your family
Coping with bereavement
Bereavement and grief are natural processes and the majority of people find their own way through their loss.
Nevertheless, some people will experience difficulty in adapting to their loss and may benefit from the support of others outside their extended family and friends. Some may benefit from professional assistance to help them cope.
The different stages of grief are now fairly well recognised and include:
• Shock and disbelief.
• Expressions of grief.
• Depression and anxiety.
• Signs of recovery.
You may be able to cope better with one stage than another. You may find yourself see-sawing through bouts of misery, anger and depression, all in one day. This can happen even at a time when you or friends and relatives hoped you were showing signs of recovery.
Each stage will vary with each individual and you will not necessarily progress through each stage, step by step, or indeed through all of them.
Shock and Disbelief
Initial shock at loss is often described as numbness, a sense of disbelief. Sometimes, the fact of death and the meaning of the loss may be impossible to take in at first. Shock is a natural reaction which cushions us and allows us to feel our loss more slowly.
Expressions of Grief
Some of us may feel grief as acute pangs of sadness and loss which, in time, may be experienced less often.
Feelings of guilt may be another painful expression of grief. Some people blame themselves because they wish that they had done things differently just before or at the time of death of their loved one. They may also feel that there were issues which needed to be spoken about before the death and that the opportunity has now been lost. This can feel as though we have missed the opportunity to put right past wrongs and hurts. We may even feel that if we had acted differently the death could have been postponed or prevented. These feelings may have to be talked through many times before any peace of mind can be reached – this is part of the healing process.
Anger and aggression are also possible expressions of grief. Anger might be at what seems to be the injustice of the loss, anger at the lack of proper understanding in others, anger at those who might seem to have allowed the loved one to die. The source of the anger is usually at death itself and our feelings of hopelessness in the face of death. Some people may even be angry with a loved one for dying or angry with themselves for a variety of reasons. Sometimes this anger shows itself as hostility towards others such as family, friends and hospital staff. It helps to try to work through feelings of anger with someone you can confide in, preferably someone not emotionally involved in your own loss.
Remembering and re-living the past can be part of the grieving process. This remembering might be painful and reawaken former experiences of grief or loss, but it may also call happy events to mind. Remembering both sad and happy events might be part of the healing process. One effect of this is that your relationship with the person who has died begins to change. Through remembering, the fact that your loved one will not come back can become more real to you. Your relationship with the person you have lost can then change so that they become special to you in a new way.
Depression and Anxiety
Depression. The bereaved person may begin to feel the despair, the emptiness and the pain of loss. It is often accompanied by feelings of redundancy, lack of self-worth and apathy. If you can cry, it usually helps to relieve the stress.
Anxiety For some bereaved people, feelings of anxiety may be difficult to manage as the full realization of the loss emerges. There may be anxiety about several issues including new responsibilities and other life changes. If you seem to be depressed or anxious for a long time, please contact your doctor.
Signs of Recovery
When you feel able to live with your loss, can understand the changes that have occurred and begin to accept the new circumstances of your life, your grief is subsiding. You may even miss your grief. Other losses may need to be faced as well.
Some people cope with the hurt and confusion that bereavement brings with the aid of their own internal resources and the support of family, friends and community networks. However, for others the experience and support of others, including those who have suffered a similar loss, may be of help to work their way through to recovery.
Practical advice and support
You can get practical advice from your Funeral Director, GP practice, minister of religion and the Citizens Advice Bureau. You may feel that you want more than practical advice and that you need to talk to someone sympathetic who is outside your immediate family, or with people who have gone through a similar experience. The following organisations provide help.
LOCAL ORGANISATIONS
AGE UK, SURREY 01483 503414
For advice regarding elderly people
The Clockhouse Community Centre, Chapel Lane, Milford, Surrey GU8 5EZ www.ageuk.org.uk/surrey
For free advice on a range of problems 17 Haydon Place, Guildford GU1 4LL
For help and support following bereavement southwestsurrey@cruse.org.uk
For support before and after death from cancer www.fountaincentre.org THE SAMARITANS
24 hour help line for those feeling suicidal Guildford Branch www.samaritans.org
For help regarding housing, council tax, etc
Contact Centre, First Floor, Dakota, De Havilland Drive, Weybridge, Surrey KT13 0YP www.surreycc.gov.uk
names from mail order companies www.thebereavementregister.org.uk
bereavement support www.careforthefamily.org.uk
following the death of a baby or child www.childbereavementuk.org
For those supporting a bereaved child www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk
children and young people up to age 19 to ring for their own support www.childline.org.uk
MIND 020 8215 2243
Provide a range of help including understanding information in this Bereavement Booklet
Woking MIND 07901 931831 www.mind.org.uk
NHS CHOICES
www.nhs.uk/livewell/bereavement
ROAD PEACE 0845 4500355
For families bereaved as a result of a road death www.roadpeace.org
RIPRAP
Website support for teenagers when a parent is diagnosed with cancer through to bereavement www.riprap.org.uk
SUE RYDER
Online forum for bereavement support www.sueryder.org
WAY WIDOWED & YOUNG
A self help group for young widowed people up to the age of 50 www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
WINCHESTER DISTRICT PROBATE REGISTRY 0300 1231072
Information about what to do after a death www.gov.uk/after-a-death
WINSTON’S WISH 08088 020021
Help for bereaved children and their families Monday-Friday www.winstonswish.org.uk
The above telephone numbers were correct at the time of printing. We do apologise if any of these numbers have been changed since.
Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 167 9607,where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, you can complete the leaflet enclosed that can be returned in the post.
This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose and you only have to complete this once. Additionally to Stop Mail a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
If you would like information in large print, on tape or in another language, please contact us on 01483 303361
Author & Revisions: Medical Examiner Office
Publication date: August 2024
Review date: August 2026
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
�\\ bereavement ,�port network
stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
