Issue date: October 2024 - Review date: October 2026
We would like to offer our sincere condolences to you and your family at this sad and difficult time.
The Dandelion initiative was implemented as the hospital’s commitment to improving end of life care.
Our aim is to promote dignity in death by making small changes that will impact upon the patient and family experience in a positive manner.
This booklet has been produced to provide some practical help and advice during the early days of your bereavement.
The emotional meaning of the Dandelion
The dandelion has a surprising number of different meanings - it is known for its ability to thrive in difficult conditions.
In medieval times the blowing of the white seeds would grant the person a wish. We associate this “wish” with the need to know what is important to people at the end of life.
The yellow flower of the dandelion symbolises the ability to rise above life’s challenges and can be used as a visual reminder of the warmth and power of the sun, especially when grief makes it hard to remain happy.
When tomorrow starts without me, And I am not here to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes, Filled with tears for me. I wish so much you would not cry, the way you did today,
While thinking of the many things, we did not get to say.
I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, And each time you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too.
When tomorrow starts without me, do not think we are far apart, For every time you think of me, I am right there in your heart.
What is next?
You will need to make an initial phone call to the bereavement office between 10am and 4pm (weekdays) on 01702 385492 or 01702 385494.
A Bereavement Officer will take initial contact information and Next of Kin details from you. The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is required to be completed by a doctor, who treated the deceased within the last 28 days. When the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death is completed, it will then be sent via email to the central Registration Service. You will then be given a certified copy when you attend your face-to-face registration appointment.
This process should be completed within 2 working days and is dependent upon the availability of the doctor, who is responsible for the completion of the required documentation.
Please note if the death occurred overnight the bereavement team will start the process the next working day.
In some circumstances it may be necessary for the doctor to refer the death to HM Coroner and the bereavement officer will inform you of this before the referral is made. A referral to HM Coroner does not automatically mean a post-mortem is required and many referrals are resolved with minimal delay.
We advise that a date for the funeral should not be booked until you have registered the death.
Visiting the Dandelion Suite
Although we endeavour to consider all requests to visit your loved one in the Dandelion Suite, this may not always be possible and remains at the Mortuary Manager’s discretion.
Please contact the Bereavement Office in the first instance, if this is something you would like to request.
MSE hospitals request this is restricted to 2 family members and is only permissible if you did not have the opportunity to visit the ward or department at the time of death.
Family visits are not available once the Funeral Director has been appointed and the paperwork for the release of the deceased is complete.
We advise you to contact your Funeral Director to visit your loved one, once arrangements have been made to transfer from the hospital and into their care.
Visits can be arranged Monday to Friday by appointment only, via the following contact numbers:
Southend Bereavement Department - 01702 385494
If your loved one has been referred to the coroners, please contact the mortuary department and ensure that you have the coroners’ case reference number to hand.
Southend Mortuary Department - 01702 385216
Medical Examiner & Bereavement Nurse role
Medical Examiner
In 2019 the Medical Examiner service was implemented across the NHS in England with the aim of improving death certification and ensuring that the bereaved are kept at the centre of the process.
By introducing this service, the NHS aims to provide an opportunity for the bereaved to ask questions about the cause of death and discuss the care that their loved one received prior to their death.
Who are Medical Examiners and Medical Examiner Officers?
Medical Examiners are senior NHS Doctors, who are independent of the healthcare professionals that looked after the deceased. They:
• advise on whether the law requires the coroner to be informed about a death
• obtain the most accurate cause of death
• identify any concerns with care or treatment and escalate as appropriate.
Medical Examiner Officers support Medical Examiners in their role in scrutinising the circumstances leading to and causes of death. They are a point of contact and source of advice for bereaved people.
The Medical Examiner Process
The Medical Examiner will review the medical records and discuss the care with the medical team who were looking after the deceased. This is to ensure that when completing the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD), the document accurately reflects the details of the cause of death. The MCCD is completed by the team that cared for your loved one.
A member of the Medical Examiners team will explain the cause of death with you, answering any questions or concerns you may have. Causes of death often use medical terminology, which can be confusing, so please feel free to ask for an explanation.
They will also be able to escalate or give advice on the best way to address any concerns raised as well as advise you on additional sources of support and information.
In some situations, the death of your loved one, by law, may need to be referred to the Coroner’s Office for further investigation. The Medical Examiner Officer will arrange for the referral to be completed and support you through the process.
If you would like the opportunity to speak with a Medical Examiner, please contact:
The Bereavement Nurse Specialist can support families, who may be experiencing difficulties with their loss and can signpost you to the relevant specialist supportive services.
If you would like the opportunity to speak with a Bereavement Support Nurse Specialist, please discuss this with the bereavement office team.
HM Coroner
There are specific circumstances, when the hospital doctor is required by law to report the death to HM Coroner. This may include the cause of death being unclear, sudden, or suspicious or due to unnatural causes. The Medical Examiner Officer will discuss this with you.
Whilst the bereavement staff will be able to provide you with information relating to the hospital’s procedures following the death of a patient, it is not possible for them to influence any processes, where the offices of the Coroner are involved. The HM Coroner is an independent judicial office holder, appointed and paid by the relevant local authority.
The HM Coroner is a doctor or lawyer, who has a legal responsibility for establishing the time, date, place, and cause of death and any circumstances that may have contributed to the death.
To achieve this the HM Coroner may, in some circumstances, request for a post-mortem examination to be carried out. Occasionally a specialist post-mortem may be required. If this is the case, it may be necessary to move the deceased to another hospital. This would only occur under the instruction of the Coroner’s Office.
The Coroner’s Officer is available Monday to Friday during office hours and can be contacted on 03330 135000.
Hospital Post Mortem
Sometimes, a hospital doctor may ask permission to carry out a post-mortem to understand the cause of death. In doing so, this can help with the future diagnosis and treatment of other patients.
A hospital post-mortem differs from a Coroner’s post-mortem in that permission can be refused. The doctor will ask permission from the person who had the closest relationship with the deceased; this is known as the ‘qualified informant’. The doctor will issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death in the normal way irrespective of your decision and this will allow you to register without causing any delay.
The Bereavement Office team will be able to help and advise you, should a hospital post-mortem be requested.
Registering the Death
When do I need to register a death?
Deaths must be registered by law within 5 days.
If the death is being investigated by the coroner this might not be possible. Visit www.gov.uk/after-a-death/when-adeath-is-reported-to-a-coroner to find out more about this process.
For deaths at Southend University Hospital the nominated Next of Kin details will be given to the births & deaths registration team and they will phone you with an appointment slot.
Who can register a death?
The death can be registered by a relative of the person who has died.
If a relative is not able to then someone else can register the death if:
• They were there at time of death
• They are an administrator at the hospital or care home where the person has died
• They oversee making funeral arrangements for the person
What do I need to register a death?
You no longer have to attend the hospital to collect the Death Certificate. The Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) will be emailed to registeroffice@southend.gov.uk by the bereavement team.
You will also need:
• The person’s NHS number
• The person’s birth certificate, if possible
• The name, email, and address of your funeral director
The registrar will ask for the person’s:
• Date and place of death
• Full name (any other names they used or maiden name)
• Home address and postcode
• Date and place of birth
• Deceased’s last occupation
• Their spouse’s full name and occupation (if applicable)
Due to the high volume of telephone calls received, it is advised that you use the webpage if you can. The webpage explains how the process will work.
Certificates
Make sure you order enough certificates. You will need these when you are arranging the finances of the person who has died and may need to give them to banks, insurance, or pension companies and to the administrator of the Will.
Certificates are £12.50 each - further copies can be obtained at a later date if needed
Documents you will receive
Once the death has been registered you will receive:
• The death certificates you paid for when you booked the appointment
• A certificate for burial or cremation (known as the “Green form”) - this gives permission for burial or an application for cremation
• Access details so you can use the Tell Us Once service (this will reduce the number of certificates you need)
If you have not paid for any certificates in advance, you can order certificates online from the Essex Record website: www.essexrecordoffice.co.uk/services/certificate-copies
Tell Us Once Service
A registrar will explain the Tell Us Once service when you register the death. They will either:
• complete the Tell Us Once service with you
• give you a unique reference number so you can use the service yourself online or by phone
The registrar will give you a number to call. This includes Relay UK if you cannot hear or speak on the phone. If you are a British Sign Language (BSL) user, there is a video relay service if you are on a computer - find out how to use the service on mobile or tablet.
You must use the service within 28 days of getting your unique reference number.
If you cannot register the death because an inquest is underway, you can still ask a registrar for a unique reference number. You will need to get an interim death certificate from the coroner holding the inquest first.
They will notify:
• HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) - to deal with personal tax and to cancel benefits and credits, for example Child Benefit and tax credits
• Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) - to cancel benefits and entitlements, for example Universal Credit or State Pension
• Passport Office - to cancel a British passport
• Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) - to cancel a licence, remove the person as the keeper of up to 5 vehicles and end the vehicle tax
• The local council - to cancel Housing Benefit, Council Tax Reduction (sometimes called Council Tax Support), a Blue Badge, inform council housing services and remove the person from the electoral register
• Veterans UK - to cancel or update Armed Forces Compensation Scheme payments
For a full list and further information please go to: www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-tocontact-and-tell-us-once
Stopping Junk Mail to the Deceased
Receiving unsolicited mail can be insensitive and upsetting during the grieving process.
You can register with the FREE service www.stopmail.co.uk.
If you do not have use of the internet, you can call 0808 168 9607.
This free of charge service is provided by the Bereavement Support Network. Alternatively, you can use other comparable services such as The Bereavement Register or The Deceased Preference Service.
Probate and Legal Advice
If you have any difficulty in dealing with the deceased’s property, possessions, or guardianship of their children, you can get advice from a solicitor or the Citizens Advice Bureau as soon as possible. If there is no Will, speaking with a solicitor may be helpful. Many solicitors are prepared to offer up to half an hour of legal advice for a small fee; some even offer a free initial consultation to discuss your situation.
Probate is a document issued by the Probate Registry confirming that an executor has the right to wind up the estate of the person who has died. The ‘estate’ is the house, money and savings left by someone when they die (probate may not be necessary if the estate is small). The executor is the person chosen in the Will to sort out the estate and make sure the conditions of the Will are carried out.
For further information on Probate and Inheritance please contact the helpline or visit the website below:
Helpline: 0300 123 1072
Website: www.gov.uk/applying-for-probate
Property
Personal belongings should be collected by the next of kin. All personal possessions will be returned to you by the ward as soon as possible after the death. Where this does not happen, the items will be temporarily kept by the ward until arrangements have been made between the ward and next of kin regarding collection.
Funeral Arrangements
When you make initial contact with the Bereavement Team, they will talk to you about making funeral arrangements. To assist the team to ensure all legal documentation is completed in a timely manner, you may be asked if you have thought about appointing a Funeral Director and whether you have considered a burial or cremation for your loved one.
Whilst we acknowledge that you may not have thought about this on first contact, you will need to make the bereavement team aware prior to registration; this will allow them to liaise with the Funeral Directors and ensure your loved one is transferred into their care at the earliest opportunity.
You may find it helpful to make provisional arrangements with a Funeral Director of your choice, but please do not book a firm date, until the death has been registered.
We request that Funeral Directors collect each patient within three working days of being formally engaged by families and being notified by us that all required documentation is in place.
Funeral Directors charge for their services once you have appointed them and have agreed a contract. They can advise and support you with funeral arrangements and will discuss arrangements for the care and accommodation of your loved one whilst they remain at the hospital.
We strongly encourage you to ask the Funeral Directors to provide you with a clear guide of the services they provide and what fees might be incurred.
Your loved one will remain in the care of our mortuary team until the registration process has been completed or, if HM Coroner is involved, the coroner has finished their investigation.
In extenuating circumstances and in agreement with the Mortuary Manager, it may be possible for your Funeral Director to request an early release from the hospital and to transfer your loved one to the funeral directors, prior to registration.
For further information regarding fees, please discuss these with your Funeral Director.
For any other questions, Bereavement would be happy to advise.
Hospital Chaplaincy
The hospital chaplains are available to offer care and support to bereaved relatives and friends. This care is offered irrespective of the individual’s religion or belief.
Specific religious needs can also be supported by the chaplaincy team or local faith community leaders.
The chaplains are available during normal office hours to provide you with support, but for urgent end of life care, can also be contacted out of hours via the hospital switchboard.
The chaplaincy service can be contacted as follows: Southend
Email: mse.southendchaplains@nhs.net
Feedback and Concerns
As a Trust we are committed to ensuring that families can feedback their end-of-life experience.
Please scan the QR code to complete a bereavement survey about your experience
If you would like a paper copy, or an easy read version, of this survey sent to you please speak to your bereavement office.
Death of a Newborn Baby or Child Death
It is a statutory requirement for all child deaths under the age of 18 years to be referred to the Children’s Death Review Team (CDRT) to meet requirements under the Children’s Act 2004. This applies to natural, unnatural, known, or unknown causes, at home, in hospital or in the community.
Support and guidance will be given by the CDRT or by the Hospital Maternity Bereavement Team.
If this death has occurred before the birth has been registered (newborn baby), the birth will still need to be registered within 42 days using the information previously given.
You should call the Registry Office on the central registration number to book an appointment. To avoid repeated and upsetting conversations, please ensure you inform the Registry Office that you are registering the birth, but the baby has died.
You cannot attend the Registry Office without an appointment.
A list of Registry Offices are on pages 28-29 of this booklet.
Honouring the memory of your loved one through charitable donations
You may wish to consider making a donation to Mid and South Essex Hospitals Charity. The donation will be used within our hospitals to benefit services provided to our patients and their families.
If you chose to make a dedicated donation for the care and support received during the bereavement process, you may wish to make an; “In memory donation to our Bereavement Fund supporting Bereavement Services”.
To make a donation to the Bereavement Fund or to make another charitable donation, please contact Mid and South Essex Hospital Charity on: 01702 385337 or email mse.charity@nhs.net
Registration Number 1057266
Tissue Donation
If the deceased carried a donor card or had expressed a wish in life to donate tissue after their death, we would like to make sure that their wishes are fulfilled.
Many people find it comforting that something positive can happen from a sad and difficult loss and can give some families the option of making a difference to others.
You may not realise that donated tissues such as skin, bone and heart valves can be used to improve the quality of life for others. However, this needs to be organised within 24 to 48hrs after death.
If this is something that you would like to consider, advice can be given by the bereavement team, or you may prefer to contact the specialist referral team at the national referral centre on: 0800 432 0559.
Support and Comfort
Some people find it helps to share their sadness; others find it extremely hard to talk about the person who died.
The Department of Spiritual & Pastoral Care (Chaplaincy) has a list of faith communities in your area and would be pleased to introduce you to local faith support if you would appreciate such care. The Chaplaincy Service can be contacted on 01268 524900 extension 3503.
You may wish to seek help and support from any of the groups and organisations which are detailed below:
At a Loss
At a Loss provides Grief Chatan opportunity for online chat with a bereavement counsellor www.ataloss.org/live-chat
Bereavement UK
Bereavement UK provides information. It also offers a free e-book www.bereavement.co.uk/ Bereavement-UK-Ebook.html www.htb.org/ thebereavementjourney
Basildon Council Offices 01268 533333 www.basildon.gov.uk
Citizens Advice Bureau www.citizensadvicesouthend .org.uk 0344 477 0808
The Bereavement Journey Course
This six week course is for anyone who has been bereaved at any time, and although often run by churches, it is for people of any faith or no faith. All the faith content is confined to the optional 6th and final session which looks at bereavement from a Christian perspective, so faith related material can be avoided by not attending the final session. Further details here www. thebereavementjourney.org/benefitfrom-tbj
Although some courses are delivered in person throughout the country, HTB delivers the course online so is accessible for those living in Essex. www.htb.org/ thebereavementjourney
Child Bereavement UK
Child Bereavement UK provides information on supporting children and young people who are experiencing bereavement.
The Macmillan Online Community has a carers forum, family and friends of someone who has cancer forum and parents of children with cancer forum www.macmillan.org.uk/cancerinformation-and-support/get-help/ emotional-help/online-community
No Panic Helpline
0300 772 9844 www.nopanic.org.uk
Marie Curie
Marie Curie helpline provides emotional support for those living with or caring for someone who has a terminal illness. You do not need to have used Marie Curie services to call the helpline0800 090 2309 www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/ support/marie-curie-support-line
Marie Curie has a number of booklets which can be downloaded or ordered.
www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/ support/publications
There are also easy read resources and resources to support children when a family member has a terminal illness or dies.
Road Peace
Supporting bereaved and injured through road accidents 0845 450 0355 www.roadpeace.org
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) 0300 111 5065 www.uksobs.org
Sue Ryder
Sue Ryder provides a range of online support and information for those bereaved including;
- Online bereavement community www.community.sueryder.org/
- Counselling (up to six free video counselling sessions) www.sueryder.org/onlinebereavement-counselling - Grief self-help service www.selfhelp.sueryder.org/
Support after Murder & Manslaughter (SAMM) 0121 472 2912 www.samm.org.uk
Support Line
For children, young people & adults 01708 765200 www.supportline.org.uk
Thurrock Borough Council 01375 652652 www.thurrock.gov.uk
WAY Widowed & Young
Self help support for men and women under 50 whose partner or spouse has died. www.widowedandyoung.org.uk
Winston’s Wish
Helpline for family, friends and professionals supporting grieving children 08088 020 021 or via online chat www.winstonswish.org/onlinechat/
In addition to these organisations, both patients and family members may access support via their GP.
Billericay High Street Tea / Coffee and Chat (Monday 11am - 2pm
Second Saturday of each month 10am - 12noon)
01277 632120
Listening Support and Information
The Ashley Jolly Sad Trust (Sudden Adult Death Syndrome)
22 Rohedge, Brentwood, Essex
Support via telephone/email/letters 01277 811215 www.sadsuk.org.uk sadsuk@btconnect.com
Cruse Bereavement Care
Provide support, advice and information to children, young people and adults. Trained accredited bereavement support workers work with clients on a one-to-one basis. 0808 808 1677 www.cruse.org.uk
Wickford Citizens Advice Bureau
The Basildon Centre, St Martins Square, Basildon, Essex SS14 1DL
Support in person or over the telephone (Mon - Fri 10am - 3pm) 0808 278 7877
St. Luke’s Hospice
Nethermayne, Basildon, Essex
(One-to-one support by prior appointment).
Contact: Social Work Department 01268 524973
Compassionate Friends
Kilburn Grange, Priory Park Road, London NW6 7UJ
Befriending for bereaved parents telephone helpline Helpline 03451 23 23 04 10am - 4pm & 7pm - 10pm, each day www.tcf.org.uk
The Samaritans
16 Little Lullaway, Basildon, Essex 116 123
Jo@samaritans.org
Open Door Interventions
Young person’s counselling and help service
16B Orsett Road, Grays 01375 390040
Email: general@opendoorservices.org
Counselling
Dove Community Counselling Service
Provides emotional, psychological counselling and bereavement support services to adult patients, families and carers living in South West Essex. This can be one-to-one sessions, couples counselling or group work. Venues are available in Basildon, Billericay, Corringham and Grays. 01277 655039
Macmillan Hospital Based Counselling Service
Basildon University Hospital, Nethermayne, Basildon, Essex SS16 5NL
Offers counselling for people affected by cancer or any other life changing illness, at any stage of their journey, including bereavement. Services are open to family members (aged 16 upwards).
For information call: 01268 524900 ext. 4740
Renew at Bridge Counselling Services
Bodey House, Church Walk, Basildon, Essex
Sliding scale of charges according to income level.
For an appointment phone 01268 822800 or 07717126407 bridgeadmin@renew.org.uk
Thurrock Mind
152 Bridge Road, Grays, Essex
One-to-one counselling by prior appointment. 01375 391411 reception@tbmind.org.uk
Luke’s Counselling Service for Children and Young People
Supports children/young people up to 19 years in South West Essex living with or affected by illness/ bereavement through one-to-one support, information or groups. There is a Youth Worker attached to the service and an outreach into schools.
01375 648175
Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service
0 to 17 years - Referrals via professionals, health, social services, education etc. 0300 300 1600
Young Peoples Counselling Service
The Hermitage Site, Brentwood Confidential individual and group support for 13 - 25 yr olds.
01277 230831
Luke’s House
Family Counselling Service
01375 648175
Family Solutions (Social Services)
01268 530222
Willowbrook Team - working with children aged 0-7 years.
Rainbow Team - working with children 8-16 years.
01268 521898
Harman House Counselling Centre
Dagenham, Essex
Individual counselling
Sliding scale of charges according to income level.
0208 597 7686
www.harmanhouse.org.uk
Phoenix Counselling Service
Dagenham, Essex
Individual, couple and group counselling
Sliding scale of charges according to income level.
0794 194 3916
www.phoenix-counselling.co.uk
Basildon Mind
A confidential counselling service for young people and adults.
01268 284130
British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy
For information on finding a counsellor in your area.
01455 883300
Fax: 01455 550243 www.bacp.co.uk
Groups
Forget-Me-Not Support Group
Forget Me Not Support Group for relatives and parents who have experienced the loss of a baby before, during or shortly after childbirth.
Meet last Thursday of every month at 7pm Laindon Community Centre, Aston Road, Laindon. 01268 414149 / 07958 334012
Bereavement Support through ‘Grief Journey Essex’
We provide the Grief Journey Support Programme which encompasses free structured weekly sessions - 6 per course, to help the bereaved through difficult times throughout the Essex area.
01277 627492
Safe Harbour Bereavement Group
Come and join us for a friendly chat over a drink and cake. We are not counsellors but people who are in the same boat. Meetings are held at St Augustine’s Church Hall, Thorpe Bay, SS1 3HX on the 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month from 2pm - 4pm. No appointment required. For more information call Barbara.
Tel: 07969 099 396 www.safeharbourbg.co.uk
Registration Offices
The Registry Office for deaths occurring in Leigh-on-Sea, Westcliff, Southend and Shoeburyness (and any death at Southend University Hospital):
Monday to Friday 8.45am - 5pm
The Civic Centre
Victoria Avenue
Southend on Sea
Essex
SS2 6ER
Website: www.southend.gov.uk/registrationservice
Telephone: 01702 215009
Not all registrations can take place during these times as there may be need to contact other agencies if there is a query, such as the Coroner. Please check with the Registry Office before making the appointment.
The Registry Office for deaths occurring in Hadleigh, Benfleet, Canvey, Rochford, Wakering and Barling:
Monday and Friday 9am - 5pm
Rayleigh Library
132-134 High Street
Rayleigh
Essex
SS6 7BX
Telephone: 0345 603 7632
Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday
South Benfleet Library
264 High Road
South Benfleet
Essex
SS7 5HD
Telephone: 0345 603 7632
Useful Hospital Contacts:
Southend University Hospital
Prittlewell Chase
Westcliff-on-Sea
Essex, SS0 0RY
www.mse.nhs.uk/southend-hospital
Department of Spiritual and Pastoral Care
01702 435555 ext 6453
www.mse.nhs.uk/southend-hospital
The hospital does not endorse any of the products or services that are advertised in this booklet. However, we wish to thank the advertisers and sponsors, without whom this publication would not have been possible.
The Hospital would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Hospital is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
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stopping mail
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
