St Luke's Hospice (Harrow) Bereavement Booklet - Bereavement Support Service

Bereavement Support Service

A guide for families, friends and carers

Finding Meaning After Loss

Grief is a natural reaction but the death of someone can affect us in unexpected ways both physically and emotionally.

How you respond to bereavement may vary according to your situation, background, beliefs or previous experience of loss. There is no ‘normal’ way to grieve, no expected way to feel, or set time to start feeling more like yourself again. Our feelings can be affected by the circumstances of the death, or relationships we had with the person who died. It is important to allow yourself to grieve in your own way.

Adapting and learning to cope when someone has died can be challenging. Relationships with family members and friends may change and there will be significant days to get through such as birthdays and anniversaries. We will help you find a personally meaningful way to remember the person who has died.

Many people will find the help and support they need from family, friends or colleagues, but it can also be helpful to talk with someone who isn’t part of your family or social network. Bereavement support from St Luke’s Hospice gives you the opportunity to talk with someone who is able to listen and help you think things through.

Accessing Support and What We Can Offer

Our free bereavement service is offered to anyone who has experienced the death of someone who received care from St Luke’s. St Luke’s Hospice Bereavement Support Team will contact you up to eight weeks after your bereavement either by telephone, email or letter. Should you, or any other person affected by the death, wish to access support we will offer you a meeting with a member of staff or trained volunteer to discuss how we can work in partnership with you to meet your specific needs. We have a variety of options of support available.

Individual Support

This is an opportunity to talk on the phone, or face to face with a trained volunteer or staff member and we can arrange for the same person to support you on a regular basis. Our bereavement support volunteers bring a variety of experience to the service and are carefully selected and trained. They can meet you at the hospice and we will consider home visits. You may prefer telephone or virtual contact, and this can be arranged. It is important that support is provided in a way that is best for you.

You may want to have a one-off session to talk about what has happened.

Sessions:

• Usually about an hour long

• Initially up to 6 sessions are offered, at a frequency to meet your needs

• On-going support can be provided, if required

Some people find it helpful to meet others who have been bereaved Groups

A group of up to eight people meeting once a week for six weeks. Groups are held at the hospice and are led by a member of staff and a trained volunteer.

Walk and Talk Groups

Our groups meet on a regular basis in a local park, near the hospice. They are informal, friendly and welcome new members. Some members choose to stay connected outside the sessions and become a great support to each other. The groups are led by experienced volunteers. We also welcome ideas for new groups.

At first you may not want support, but change your mind later. You can contact us anytime.

What people we have supported said:

“It helped me come to terms with losing a parent”

“I was struggling to cope…sessions were extremely helpful”

“I was listened to & given time to express my feelings & emotions”

Children and Young People

“I don’t know how to help my children”

People think we should protect children from grief and are worried about saying or doing ‘the wrong thing’. We wonder how best to support them when someone close to them has died. Just as adults, children react to bereavement in different ways. They may have questions, fears and powerful feelings, which cause them to feel confused and alone, if they are left out of what is happening around them. Give children information, honestly, sensitively, in small amounts at a time, allowing them to express their feelings, and make informed choices and to feel part of what is happening. This helps children to feel reassured, supported and understood.

Whilst we don’t provide services to children directly, we can provide guidance and support to adults who are supporting bereaved children and young people. We can also signpost you to other relevant organisations that support children and young people.

St Luke’s Bereavement Service

St Luke’s Hospice Bereavement Support Team offers confidential support to anyone who has experienced the loss of someone who has received care from St Luke’s.

If you need support or if you require further information about the service, you can contact us on 020 8382 8037. Please ask to speak with a member of the Bereavement Support Service or the Patient and Family Support Service.

Support organisations

When someone in the UK dies, information about what needs to happen next can be found at: www.gov.uk/after-a-death

Bereavement Advice Centre

Monday - Friday: 9am - 5pm

Free helpline: 0800 634 9494

www.bereavementadvice.org

Cruse Bereavement Care

Monday - Friday: 9.30am - 5pm

Free helpline: 0808 808 1677

www.cruse.org.uk

Samaritans

Free 24/7 helpline: 116 123

www.samaritans.org

Brent Bereavement Service

020 8459 6818

www.bbsonline.org.uk

Harrow Bereavement Care

020 8427 5720

www.bereavementcareandsupport.co.uk

Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service

020 8951 3881

enquiries@jbcs.org.uk

Muslim Bereavement Support Service

020 3468 7333

info@mbss.org.uk

Support for children and young people

Winston’s Wish

Free helpline: 08088 020 021

www.winstonswish.org.uk

Child Bereavement UK

Free helpline: 0800 0288 840

www.childbereavementuk.org

St Luke’s special Tree of Life

Remembering your loved one in support of St Luke’s

There are many ways to keep the memory of a loved one alive at St Luke’s Hospice. Your support could help other hospice patients and their families too.

Many people find that fundraising can be a powerful and meaningful way to celebrate the memory of a loved one. How you choose to fundraise is a very personal decision that your family and friends may discuss together. There are many ways you can make positive memories whilst raising vital funds for St Luke’s Hospice.

Funeral collections

You could ask friends and family to make a donation to St Luke’s instead of buying flowers for the funeral or memorial service. We can provide donation collection tins, donation envelopes, or you can set up a free online tribute fund at www.stlukes-hospice.org/inmemory

Dedicate a leaf on St Luke’s Tree of Life

Have an engraved copper, silver or gold leaf on our beautiful Tree of Life at the hospice. Your leaf will be on the tree for a year, after which we will return it to you in a presentation box to treasure as a keepsake.

Visit our Memory Garden

Leave a lasting tribute in St Luke’s Memory Garden

Dedicate a rose bush, flowering shrub or an engraved brick in our quiet and beautiful memory garden at the front of the hospice. Our memory garden is a special place where you are welcome to visit, reflect and remember all year round.

Attend a Celebration of Life event at the Hospice

With candles, readings, poems and music, you and a member of your family will be invited to hear your loved one’s name said aloud as part of a celebration of life. A time for sadness, hope, uncertainty and a reminder of the warmth and light of our love, we remember those we continue to love and those who have loved us.

Light Up A Life

A beautiful event where you will hear talks from our staff, people who have experienced our care and enjoy live music at the hospice grounds in December. A light will shine in your loved one’s memory in our special memory garden.

To dedicate a light with a personal dedication message please visit www.stlukes-hospice.org/inmemory or call 020 8382 8130.

Forever in Our Hearts

Create an online space of cherished memories

You may find comfort in creating a personal Forever In Our Hearts Tribute Page in honour of your loved one’s life. It will give you a positive and lasting space to add messages, photos, music and videos.

You can choose who you would like to share your tribute page with, and invite friends and family to leave personal messages in your loved one’s memory. People are also able to make a donation to St Luke’s if they wish. St Luke’s Forever in Our Hearts tribute pages are run in partnership with MuchLoved to provide our supporters a free service to remember someone special and fundraise in their memory.

Find out more at www.stlukes-hospice.org/tributepage

All services provided by St Luke’s Hospice are free of charge. We are a charity primarily funded by donations from individuals and organisations and less than one third of our funding is by the NHS.

If you have any feedback or comments on the information contained in this booklet, please let us know.

Ref: St Luke’s Hospice (Harrow) Bereavement Booklet

Review Date: July 2025

Publication Date: July 2023

The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.

Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.

By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.

Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.

This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospice. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have.

Please contact us either by phone, email or by post. RNS

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