St Peter & St James Hospice Bereavement Booklet

what you need to do and who can help

When someone has died

what you need to do and who can help

Please come back to see the nursing staff

On: .........................................................

At: ..........................................................

St Peter & St James Hospice, North Common North Chailey, Lewes, East Sussex BN8 4ED Tel Office 01444 471598 Fax Number 01444

Please come back to see the nursing staff on: ............................................. at: .............................................

North Common Road, North Chailey, Lewes, East Sussex, BN8 4ED

Registered charity number: 1056114

A message from St Peter & St James Hospice

This booklet has been provided to try and help you deal with some of the practical and emotional aspects of losing someone you love.

Please accept our sincere condolences.

Following the death of someone there are many practical jobs to be done and it may be useful to have the help of a family member or friend. There are a lot of arrangements to be made and it may be difficult for you to retain information during this time. We hope that you find this booklet helpful.

For comments or feedback regarding this publication please contact:

Clinical Director

St Peter & St James Hospice

North Common Road, North Chailey, Lewes, East Sussex BN8 4ED

Registered Charity Number: 1056114

Hospice Reception: 01444 471598

Ref: St Peter & St James Hospice Bereavement Book

Publication date: June 2023

email: enquiries@stpjhospice.org

Things to cancel

O Home help, meals on wheels, cleaner etc

O Appointments: Hospital appointments, dentist, optician etc

O Newspapers O Magazine subscriptions

O Redirect mail if required

O Milk if delivered

O Stop Junk Mail, visit www.stopmail.co.uk or ask for a leaflet from the hospice team

Items to return

O Medicines back to pharmacy

O Driving licence returned to DVLA

O Library books

O Any equipment borrowed from Hospital or Social Services – commode, walking sticks etc

O Passport returned to passport agency

O Season tickets

O Concessionary travel documents – bus pass to relevant company

O Disabled parking (Blue Badge) to County Council

O Car insurance certificate

O Car registration documents – for change of ownership

1. Obtain the death certificate

If your partner, relative or friend has died in the hospice, the hospice doctor will issue a Medical Certificate of Cause of Death directly to the Registrar. You will need to contact us to confirm this has been completed and to pick up property and valuables. Should you wish to discuss anything at all with the hospice team who were involved in your relative’s care at any point following their death, you are most welcome to make an appointment by calling 01444 471598.

2. Registrar Appointment

The Medical Cause of Death Certificate from the doctor needs to be completed and sent to the Registrar before you can register a death. If the death is referred to the coroner they will issue the medical paperwork directly to the registrar. The Coroner’s Officer will usually contact you when the paperwork has been completed so you can make an appointment to register the death.

Who can register a death:

• A relative of the deceased

• Someone who was present at the death

• Someone organising the funeral

What you need for your appointment:

• The NHS medical card if available

The Registrar will need to know the following:

• Date and place of death: ..................................................................................................................................

• Full name:

• Date and place of birth: ..................................................................................................................................

• Marital or civil partnership status: ..................................................................................................................................

• Original name prior to any marriage or civil partnerships:

• Home address: .................................................................................................................................. ..................................................................................................................................

• Occupation of the deceased: ..................................................................................................................................

• The date of birth of surviving partner:

3. Register the death

You will need to make an appointment with the Registrar’s Office for East Sussex County Council locality as soon as possible to formally register the death and needs to be registered within five days of death. Currently all appointments are by telephone. The Registrar will explain if this has changed.

If your partner, relative or friend has died at home within either the West or East Sussex County Council locality the certificate needs to be obtained from their GP not the hospice.

If the person has died at home within the West Sussex County Council locality, you would need to make an appointment with the Registrar’s Office in the West Sussex County Council area.

If it is not convenient for you to register the death in the County Council area where the person was at the time of death, for example if you live some distance away, you may prefer to make a declaration of the death at your local Registration Office in another district. Staff from your local Registration Office will be able to offer you advice on the procedure for this.

The Registrar will provide two forms, white and green:

• A certificate for burial or cremation (the green form) this is needed by the funeral director (unless a coroner is involved)

• A certificate for the Department of Social Security (DWP) – Form BD8, together with a pre-paid envelope for you to send this off.

Other things to discuss in the Registrar’s appointment:

• Certified copies of the death certificate can be purchased. These are needed for insurance companies, banks, building societies etc. to prove that the death has occurred.

• The Registrar can notify Adult Social Care for you if they have been involved with the deceased. They can also give you details of where to return Blue Badges or bus passes.

4. Solicitors, Wills and legal matters

A Will is in place

The Will may include funeral wishes, wishes regarding the deceased’s estate and the name of the executor/s or the person/s legally entitled to deal with the estate according to the wishes in the Will. If the Will is with a solicitor, they should be informed; they may be the named executor. Named executors can administer the person’s estate on their own (information on how to do this can be found online at www.gov.uk) or they may prefer to obtain the help of a solicitor to carry this out.

There is no Will in place

When someone dies without having made a Will, they are said to have died ‘intestate’ and different rules therefore apply. When this happens, the law sets out who should deal with the person’s affairs and who benefits. This can be a complex situation and can take some time.

Further information can be found online via:

• www.gov.uk

• www.bereavementsupport.co.uk

Probate

Depending on the deceased person’s estate, probate may be required; this can take time.

You can apply for probate yourself or ask a solicitor to apply for you. Solicitors fees vary, so it may be beneficial to get a few quotes before deciding on a solicitor.

The costs of dealing with the estate are usually paid from the estate. The Bereavement Support Network (see page 28) can also help and advise with regard to probate (for specific legal advice this may incur a fee).

5. Funeral payment from the Social Fund entitlement

If you are responsible for arranging a funeral and you have insufficient money to pay, you may be able to get a funeral grant from the Social Fund (Form SF200) of up to £700. This will depend on the benefits you are receiving, your relationship with the person who has died and any other monies, other than your personal savings, that may be available to help with the cost of the funeral.

There is now a one-stop contact number at the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) (0800 731 0469 choose Option 2) which will cancel all DWP benefits, as well as help you establish if you are eligible for help towards costs (a funeral grant) and advise on your eligibility for other benefits. There is a time limit for claiming bereavement benefits and a funeral grant so it is important to contact them as soon as possible. Funeral grants have a maximum threshold and not everyone is given the full amount. It is essential to consider this when organising the funeral to prevent running up large costs.

In some cases where no-one is able to pay for the funeral, the local authority may help - but it is important that you contact them before the funeral has been arranged. Your funeral director should be able to advise you.

If you get a funeral payment, it will have to be paid back from the estate of the person who died. The estate means any money, property and other things that the deceased person owned. A house or personal things that are left to a surviving partner or surviving civil partner will not be counted as part of the estate.

A list of benefits/assistance that may be available to you can be obtained from www.gov.uk. The Bereavement Service Helpline number is 0800 731 0469 (or Textphone 0800 731 0464) and is open Monday to Friday from 8am - 5pm.

6. Bereavement Benefit

Currently, bereavement benefits consist of three different payments:

Bereavement Payment

A one-off, tax-free lump sum payment of £2,000 which may be payable to you when your husband, wife or civil partner has died if they had paid their National Insurance Contributions (NICs) or if their death was caused by their job and either:

• you are under State Pension age when they died or

• your husband, wife or civil partner was not entitled to Category A state retirement benefit when they died

Bereavement Allowance

A taxable weekly benefit which may be paid to you for up to 52 weeks from the date of the death of your husband, wife or civil partner. It may be claimed if all the following apply if:

• you are over 45 when they died

• you are not bringing up children

• you are under State Pension age

• your late husband, wife or civil partner paid NICs or died as a result of an industrial accident or disease

Widowed Parent’s Allowance

A taxable weekly benefit which may be payable if you are a parent when your husband, wife or civil partner has died. It may be claimed if all the following apply if:

• you receive Child Benefit for one child or more

• you are under State Pension age

• your husband, wife or civil partner has died

• your husband, wife or civil partner has paid NICs You may also claim if:

• you’re expecting your late husband’s or civil partner’s baby

• your husband, wife or civil partner died as a result of their work - even if they did not pay NICs.

The Bereavement Service Helpline number is 0800 731 0469 (or Textphone 0800 731 0464) and is open Monday to Friday from 8am-5pm.

Please Note

You cannot claim any of the bereavement benefits listed on the previous page if at the time of your husband, wife or civil partner’s death the following applied:

• you were divorced from them or your civil partnership had been legally ended

• you were living with someone else as husband, wife or civil partner

• you were in prison or legal custody. Further information on all of the above can be obtained from www.gov.uk.

For advice on bereavement benefit call 0800 169 0310 or the Bereavement Service Helpline on 0800 731 0469 (Textphone 0800 731 0464).

7. Tax helpline for the bereaved

The HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) have created a dedicated telephone helpline, an address box and a new form for people who need to contact them about PAYE and Self Assessment matters relating to bereavement.

When you call the HMRC, an automated message starts, select option 2, then option 4 to speak to an advisor on the Bereavement Helpline:

• Telephone Helpline 0300 200 3300 - Office Hours: 8am-8pm Monday to Friday, 8am-4pm Saturday.

• For anyone who is deaf or has a hearing or speech impairment

Telephone 0800 731 0464 (Textphone)

If you need to write to HMRC about income tax and bereavement, such as form R27 (reclaiming tax or paying tax when someone dies), self assessment tax return and any other correspondence relating to bereavement for Pay As You Earn (PAYE) and Self Assessment, write to the address below.

HM Revenue & Customs

Pay As You Earn & Self Assessment

PO Box 4000, Cardiff, CF14 8HR

You don’t have to use a funeral director; you can arrange a funeral independently.

The Natural Death Centre Independent Funeral Advice

This organisation is a social, entrepeneurial, educational charity that gives free, impartial advice on all aspects of dying, bereavement, planning a family led or do it yourself funeral and consumer rights. Read ‘The Natural Death Handbook’.

National Helpline: 01962 712 690 - 24hour answerphone

Email: rosie@naturaldeath.org.uk

Website: www.naturaldeath.org.uk

8. Funeral directors and arranging a funeral

You may already know which funeral director you would like to use. The deceased may have left very clear instructions for their funeral and you may already know which funeral director they want you to use and indeed they may have taken out an insurance to pay or part pay for their funeral. However if this is not the case, you will need to decide how best to arrange this. Remember there are now many choices open to you to help you best reflect the deceased’s life; for example, different kinds of caskets and urns, traditional services or humanistic celebrations, church burial grounds and natural burial grounds, deciding to keep ashes or choosing a place to scatter them. Take time to research what you want if this is important to you.

Funeral directors can charge different amounts for the same services; therefore, it is advisable to get more than one quotation to compare prices. A good funeral director will give you a detailed list of charges, with an explanation of each item; this will help you make your final decision.

Once you have chosen a funeral director, make sure you:

• get a written quotation which give details of all costs you will be charged

• ask about fees paid by the funeral director to others on your behalf (disbursements) e.g. statutory cremation certificate, service at crematorium, faith leader or officiant fee and newspaper announcements.

You may need to sign a contract with the funeral director. Please make sure you read it carefully and ask the funeral director about anything you do not understand. (Refer also to the section on Funeral Payments and Bereavement Benefits.)

Your funeral director will make all the arrangements for the burial or cremation and will be able to advise you on all the procedures. They will also arrange for the notice of death to be announced in the local newspapers if you would like this.

Funeral directors’ trade associations - funeral directors are not regulated or licensed but most are members of one of two trade associations:

• National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD)

Helpline: 0121 711 1343

Office Hours 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday

• Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF)

Helpline: 01279 726777

Office Hours 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday

Members of these trade associations must provide you with a price list on request. They cannot charge you more than their written estimate unless you give them permission. It is not always clear from their advertisements if a funeral director is independent or part of a group, so ask the funeral director before you go ahead. It is most important that the family selects the funeral that suits their wishes and circumstances.

The cost of a funeral will depend on the choices you make.

“Grief isn’t a state but a process: it keeps on changing - like a winding road with quite a new landscape at each bend”

C S Lewis

Bereavement is what happens...

Grief is what we feel...

Mourning is what we do

Words are often inadequate in the face of the loss of a partner, relative or friend. The following is offered to help you through this time by highlighting common shared concerns. Not all of it may be relevant to your particular experience or situation but you may be able to recognise and identify with some of what is described.

The death of someone close to you can be both shocking and distressing and you may not have the support of those around you. There are many ways in which you may express your grief, sometimes you may cry, or feel irritable, tired or sad. Your thoughts and feelings may seem confused and you may not quite recognise yourself, or cope very well with everyday demands. You may like to talk to other people about how you are affected by your bereavement or you may be someone who is very private about their feelings.

Grief is very personal

Whether you are a partner, family member or friend we hope this booklet will help you by describing some common feelings and experiences of grief as well as answering some of the questions that may have arisen for you. It also contains details of professional support that can be useful.

During this time of grieving and mourning, you may need the support of others. Speaking to someone about how you feel may help you to feel less isolated. St Peter & St James Hospice recognise this and offer a confidential support service to those who have been bereaved.

Please call 01444 471598 and ask to speak to a counsellor.

9. Coping with Grief

Grief is a feeling and affects us all regardless of background, culture or beliefs. To grieve when someone dies is natural but no two people grieve in the same way and grief follows no set pattern or timetable. It is common for feelings to include sadness, anger, relief, fear, depression and guilt.

The death of a family member or friend can be devastating and may bring about stronger emotions than you have previously experienced or expected, particularly if your partner, relative or friend had been ill for some time.

For some people grieving starts at the time of death and for others it starts at the time of diagnosis of a life-limiting illness. People grieve in different ways. Be gentle with yourself. Whatever feelings and reactions you are experiencing they are a natural part of the grieving process. Grief is also a social upheaval and involves a series of changes in lifestyle and in attitudes to living. The world with which we were familiar has changed and we have to adapt to new circumstances.

Major change results in difficulty with new situations. Certain circumstances can make it more complex. You may be unclear how to cope and find meaning or purpose in your life. What you can do may be restricted by your own health and mobility problems. You may feel isolated especially if you have cared for someone over a long period of time. You may have to work, perhaps look after children and older relatives, deal with financial concerns or have other responsibilities which can leave you feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable.

Grief is the way we adjust to what has happened and it may take some time before you are ready to ‘live’ again, coping with everyday tasks and feeling part of the world. Try to be patient because you will need to take time to grieve.

10. Mourning

Many cultures have different rituals and customs around death and we acknowledge this and individual needs of the bereaved.

Many things might help you make sense of what has happened; your cultural, religious beliefs, good friends, neighbours, a book, a piece of music or just time passing.

Mourning the loss of a partner, relative or friend can also make us question our beliefs and indeed the meaning and purpose of life, as often when someone close to us dies it can make us look again at our own lives.

As time passes mourning usually becomes less painful, and with help most people can begin to find interest in the present and can start to see a future, although this may be hard to believe if you are in the first weeks or months of your bereavement.

11. Thoughts and feelings you may be having

Many thoughts and feelings are quite common in bereavement, including: “I don’t believe they’ve gone”, “I can still hear and see them”, “is this normal or am I going mad?”.

Even if you have known for a while someone is going to die, there is often a sense of shock when death occurs. You may feel cold, numb, empty and unreal for a time, also to have trouble believing he or she is dead and is not coming back.

You may see them in your dreams and wake with a sense of wellbeing being comforted for a moment and then distressed as you realise you were only dreaming. Many people report seeing or hearing the deceased and sense they are there, for others it is difficult to get any sense of the person who has died.

These feelings, while not universal, are normal and they will go after time has passed.

“Why me?”

A question many people ask but there is no answer. You may question your beliefs and feel very angry and let down. Experiencing the death of someone close to you may seem cruel and unfair and you may be unsure who you are without them. It is important to talk about these questions and to recognise that they are part of being human.

“I question what life is about, why has this happened?”

Bereavement can trigger a heightened sense of spiritual awareness even for someone who has rejected or is unclear about their spiritual beliefs. Questions about the meaning and purpose of life or the afterlife are common. Our Counsellors and Chaplains at St Peter & St James Hospice are available to patients and their families to discuss these important questions.

“Who can I talk to?”

It is very helpful at this time to talk over feelings and memories. Friends and relatives often want to help. However, they may also be grieving and find listening painful and difficult or they may be worried in case they say the wrong thing and upset you. You may find that you have to initiate a conversation or even contact. This can be isolating and exhausting and does not address your own feelings.

“How am I going to cope on my own?”

When someone you have depended on dies, you may feel insecure, lonely, helpless, wonder ‘how am I going to cope?’ and also may not know how to do some of the things they used to do. You, therefore, may also feel; useless, frustrated and angry. This is a natural reaction; any change is hard particularly at this time. The support of family or friends can be invaluable, of course some people are better listeners than others, find someone you can easily talk to.

“Why are some days easier than others?”

Grief comes and goes and each day or parts of the day can make your mood change from feeling calm to feeling very sad and even despairing. It’s often difficult to know what has caused this fluctuation. It can be helpful in the early stages of a bereavement to take one day at a time.

You may have more dark days initially, but as time passes and you have more experience of this new life, you may notice what helps to comfort and support you.

“Is it a good idea to make decisions at the moment?”

It is sometimes tempting to think that life would be more bearable if you kept busy, moved house or quickly disposed of possessions. The urge to avoid painful situations and memories is natural. However, changes that are made too quickly may make things worse. Important decisions, such as, where you live need careful thought and your views may be quite different in a few months’ time.

Remember that you have been fully occupied practically and emotionally with the experience of supporting and caring for your partner, relative or friend and you will now need time to adjust to life without that person.

“Is it normal to feel irritable and angry?”

You may feel irritable and angry some or much of the time following a bereavement. It is not uncommon to direct your anger and irritation at those people closest to you, or even at the person who has died. You may be irritable and bad tempered without quite understanding why and you may notice that it is easier to feel angry than to feel sad or vulnerable. Remember this is only temporary, acknowledging and admitting to these difficult emotions will allow them to change.

“Why haven’t I felt well since they died?”

Physical symptoms are very much part of the impact of grief. Crying, sleeplessness, over-eating or having no appetite and feeling physical pain similar to that of the deceased are all common. These will subside as the shock lessens and as you begin to accept the reality of what has happened.

“Why is everything such an effort?”

Whilst grieving you may feel constantly tired and low. Look after yourself and try to keep to a simple routine. It can be helpful to eat regular meals, take gentle exercise and rest properly even if you cannot sleep. Some people become very busy and find it hard to relax; if this has happened to you, it probably has served as a helpful distraction especially in the early months of your bereavement. However, it may be harmful to your long-term wellbeing. To avoid this you may want to talk to someone about how to best look after yourself, a counsellor, GP, or someone who is significant in terms of your cultural or religious beliefs may be able to help.

“Why do I feel so guilty?”

You may find that you have regrets for things left unsaid, things done and not done. Many people feel guilty and blame themselves; these feelings are not uncommon and they occur because death is so final.

Your relationship to the person who has died may not have been easy and you may have mixed feelings about their death. You may even feel relief, especially if you have cared for them during a long illness. It is important to acknowledge what you really feel and express any resentments, irritations and anger. Feelings of guilt can often be unexpressed resentment.

“Am I being disloyal?”

With the passage of time, you will find your memories of the deceased less distressing and this might make you feel disloyal. Remember the past is always a part of you and need not affect your enjoyment of the present, or for the future.

“People say I should be getting over their death but I don’t seem to be, is that ok?”

The idea of ‘getting over’ someone’s death can be difficult, uncomfortable and simply unrealistic. It may be more helpful for you and others to see that your future life can continue with a strong bond with the deceased. This connection may be with you for the rest of your life.

You may have important memories you find helpful to re-visit and talk about to others. You might also continue to feel emotionally involved with the deceased and choose to call upon what you remember about them to guide you in your life. As long as you are able to go on and in time ‘live’ your life again then the person you have lost can always be with you.

“Why don’t I feel anything six months on?”

The shock of losing a partner, relative or friend can leave people feeling numb. You may have been brought up not to express your feelings and as an adult, you may have continued to suppress what you feel, so you may find it difficult to grieve. Although in the short-term this may help you to ‘live’ on, experience shows the possibility of further losses may trigger in you an unexpected and painful reaction. Depression may also be a risk because your feelings have gone underground.

Talking to a bereavement counsellor over time can help to gradually uncover your feelings and avoid future problems.

12. Grief in Children and Young People

The level of understanding of the meaning of death and the individual responses will vary according to the age, personality and maturity of the child.

Children and young people always sense something is wrong from the behaviour of those caring for them and from the changes that inevitably occur as a result of the death. They frequently show their grief in ways that adults do not expect. They might express themselves physically rather than verbally. Children tend to grieve in spurts and may go through periods of time when they seem unaffected.

Young people can often feel torn and self-conscious because at this stage of their lives they are beginning to separate from family, gaining in confidence and independence. A death in the family can challenge this, making them feel insecure and in need of family. They may feel childlike, not knowing how to cope.

Helping Children and Young People

Frequently, adults, knowing how painful bereavement can be or having difficulty in accepting the death themselves, attempt to shield children and young people from uncomfortable feelings such as sadness and anger by telling them little or nothing about what has happened.

There is a lot you can do as a parent, grandparent, relative or family friend to support a child or young person at this very difficult time. Here are some suggestions you might find useful.

The more open you can be with children and young people about the emotions and practicalities that arise following a death the more you will be helping them to come to terms and accept what has happened. They will then feel more able to express their own feelings about what has happened.

Some suggestions to help you and your child or young person:

• Reassure them they are still loved and will be taken care of, then make time to give them more attention

• Maintain as much stability, security and order as possible

• Answer their questions honestly and in a way they can understand, be aware you may have to do this repeatedly

• Reassure them that death is not catching. It is not uncommon for children to feel they have been responsible for the death in some way and you should reassure them they could not have caused the death

• Children and young people need to feel secure and to know if they want to talk there is someone there who will listen to them and not be embarrassed by hearing about their feelings. They can be involved in funeral arrangements in ways that everyone can cope with, perhaps choosing a song or a piece of music and some flowers to take with them

• It can be helpful to explain one reason for a funeral is to allow everyone to say their goodbyes to the person who has died. Allow them to share in making decisions about their role in attending the funeral and visiting the grave. Prepare them in advance for what they will see, explain for example, what will happen at a cremation, at what point the coffin will disappear and perhaps involve them in what happens to the ashes

• Encourage children and young people to share their thoughts and feelings, especially younger children. Provide younger children with the means to express painful feelings, anger - to bang a drum or to run or shout if they need to, be quiet and sad - letting them know that crying is ok and natural. Share grief with them. Allow them to comfort you when they want to. Do not hide your tears from them - they need to know that crying is appropriate and acceptable, for boys and girls

With your loving and patient support, the child or young person will be better able to work through the grief process and to adjust to life without the deceased.

St Peter & St James Hospice Counselling Service

Our confidential counselling service is offered to people regardless of, but sensitive to family circumstances, sexual orientation, religious or cultural beliefs, class or disability. We can visit you in your own home or you may choose to meet a counsellor at the hospice. We offer the following services:

• Bereavement Counselling Service

• Bereavement - Children

• We also offer other opportunities for support

If you feel the need to talk to someone other than your family and friends about these questions or others then please contact the Counselling Team on 01444 471598.

Make an appointment with your local Register Office:

Burgess Hill Register Office

Burgess Hill Library, 15-19 The Martlets, Burgess Hill RH15 9NN Phone: 01243 642122

Crowborough Register Office

Hookstead, Goldsmith’s Avenue, Crowborough TN6 1RH Phone: 03456 080198

Core opening hours are 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday, the office is closed for lunch between 12.30pm - 1.30pm

This service is offered in a private room in the Library. Please advise staff at the enquiries desk of your arrival, they will show you to the waiting area and the registrar will collect you for your appointment.

Haywards Heath Register Office 34 Boltro Road, Haywards Heath RH16 1BN Phone: 01243 642122

Lewes Register Office

Southover Grange, Southover Road, Lewes BN7 1TP Phone: 0345 6080198

Core opening hours are 9am - 5pm Monday to Friday, the office is closed for lunch between 12.30pm - 1.30pm

*Please note, at the time of writing, all appointments are by telephone.

Organisations and their contact details

These organisations may be of some help to you in your loss. We apologise for any detail changes which may occur after printing and any changes to services thereafter.

The Bereavement Service

Department for Work and Pensions (DWP)

Telephone (English): 0800 731 0469 -

Listen - Press any key and then press 2 for bereavement

Monday to Friday 8am - 5pm

www.gov.uk is a Government website that contains a wide range of services and practical information on what to do after death in England and Wales, including any benefits, your eligibility and how to claim. Refer to DWP booklet

‘What to do after a death in England and Wales’ (ref DWP1027 - June 2013).

Citizen’s Advice Bureau

National Website: www.citizensadvice.org.uk

Burgess Hill

www.advicewestsussex.org.uk

Phone: 0808 278 7969

Monday to Friday 9am - 4.30pm

Haywards Heath

www.advicewestsussex.org.uk

Phone: 0808 278 7969

Monday to Friday 9am - 4.30pm

Lewes & Seaford

www.lewesdistrictcab.org.uk

Phone: 0808 278 7892

Tuesday to Thursday 10am - 2pm

Uckfield

wealdencitizensadvice.org.uk

Phone: 0808 278 7811

Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm

National Debtline - www.nationaldebtline.org

Phone: 0808 808 4000

Monday to Friday 9am - 8pm and Saturday 9.30am - 1pm

A free, confidential, debt advice service for people in England, Wales and Scotland, run by the charity the Money Advice Trust. Telephone/Webchat advice and online guides, fact sheets, budget tools and sample letters.

Stop Mail - www.stopmail.co.uk

Phone: 0808 168 9607

By registering with this free service, the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks.

Age UK

Lewes House of Friendship

- a Friend of Age UK East Sussex

www.leweshouseoffriendship.org

House of Friendship, 208 High Street, Lewes BN7 2NS

Phone: 01273 476469

Uckfield

As above

Bereavement Support Network

www.bereavementsupport.co.uk

Phone: 0808 168 9607

Haywards Heath

2 Klienwort Close, Haywards Heath

RH16 4XG

Phone: 01444 450248

Burgess Hill

Kings Weald Community

Centre, 124 Wyvern Way, Burgess Hill RH15 0XY

Phone: 01444 220171

Helpline and web-based information service with practical information and advice on the many issues and procedures that face us after the death of someone close.

Child Bereavement UK - www.childbereavementuk.org

Phone: 08000 288840

Email: helpline@childbereavementuk.org

Child Bereavement UK is a national organisation that supports families when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement.

Childhood Bereavement Network

www.childhoodbereavementnetwork.org.uk

Cruse Bereavement Care - www.cruse.org.uk

Central Office: PO Box 800, Richmond, Surrey TW9 1RG

Counselling, information and practical support, via one-toone sessions and local drop-in groups, for anyone who has been bereaved. email: helpline@cruse.org.uk

Hopeagain

www.hopeagain.org.uk

Nat. Helpline 08088 081677

Young Persons free phone

helpline: 08088 081677

hopeagain@cruse.org.uk

Hopeagain is Cruse Bereavement Care’s Youth Involvement Project which aims to support young people after the death of someone close to them.

East Sussex (Rother)

Phone: 01323 642942

(out of hours answerphone)

Nat. Helpline: 08088 081677

Email: eastbournebranel@ cruse.org.uk

Brighton Branch

Phone: 01273 234007

Grief Encounter Project - www.griefencounter.org.uk

Phone: 0808 802 0111 - Monday to Friday 9am - 9pm

Support and information to bereaved children and families.

Jewish Bereavement Counselling Service - www.jbcs.org.uk

Helpline: 02089 513881 - Email: enquiries@jbcs.org.uk

A dedicated Jewish bereavement counselling service for adults and children individually, families, couples and groups. Supporting people affected by loss, including suicide, disaster, holocaust issues, sudden infant death, miscarriages, still birth and abortion.

London Friend

National Helpline: 020 7833 1674

The project offers a telephone support and advice service for lesbians and gay men bereaved by the death of a partner, or otherwise affected by bereavement. The helpline is run by trained volunteers. There is also a bereavement support group providing a safe space for LGBT people who have lost their partners.

Macmillan Cancer Support - www.macmillan.org.uk

Support Line: 08088 080000

7 days a week, 8am - 8pm

If someone close to you dies from cancer, Macmillan can help you cope with grief, get you all the practical information you need and, when you’re ready, offer ways to celebrate the life of your partner, relative or friend.

Muslim Youth Helpline (MYH) - www.myh.org.uk

Freephone from all UK landlines - 08088 082008

Email: help@myh.org.uk

Helpline and Web Chat Hours: Monday to Sunday 4pm - 10pm

Partnership for Children

www.partnershipforchildren.org.uk

Phone: 0208 974 6004

Good mental health for children, helping your child cope with bereavement. Programmes and resources to help young children around the world to communicate effectively, to cope with their anxieties and difficulties, and to develop skills for life.

Samaritans

National telephone: 116 123 (this number is free to call)

Email Samaritans: jo@samaritans.org (UK and ROI)

A confidential support service available to anyone in a crisis.

Eastbourne

Phone: 116 123

www.samaritans.org/

eastbourne

Brighton

Phone: 116 123

www.samaritans.org/ brighton

Eastbourne

The Haven, 13 Bolton Road, Eastbourne, East Sussex

BN21 3JT

Brighton

Dubarry House, Newtown

Road, Hove, East Sussex

BN3 6AE

Horsham and Crawley

Phone: 116 123

www.samaritans.org/ branches/horsham

21 Denne Road, Horsham, West Sussex RH12 1JE

The Silverline - www.editorial.thesilverline.org.uk

Phone: 08004 708090

Email: info@thesilverline.org.uk

The only free confidential helpline providing information, friendship and advice to older people, open 24 hours a day, every day of the year.

WAY Widowed and Young - www.widowedandyoung.org.uk

Email: enquiries@widowedandyoung.org.uk

WAY supports young widowed men and women (aged 50 and under) as they adjust to life after the death of their partner – whether it was; a month, a year, or ten years ago.

Winston’s Wish - www.winstonswish.org

National Helpline: 08088 020021

Monday to Friday 8am - 8pm

Phone: 01242 515157 - Email: info@winstonswish.org

Charity offering practical support and guidance to bereaved children, their families and professionals.

Dying Matters

www.dyingmatters.org

A coalition led by the National Council for Palliative Care encouraging people to talk about death and dying. Website links to a range of available resources in various formats.

Support for People with Learning Disabilities

www.dyingmatters.org

Dying Matters website has some useful resources to help support people with learning difficulties.

The Compassionate Friends (TCF) - www.tcf.org.uk

Kilburn Grange, Priory Park Road, London NW6 7UJ

National Helpline: 0345 123 2304

Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm, 7pm - 10pm

The line is always answered by a bereaved parent

Email: helpline@tcf.org.uk - National Office: 0345 120 3785

TCF is a charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of those who have suffered the death of a child/children.

The Hospice would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.

Whilst the Hospice is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.

It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.

By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.

Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.

This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospice. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have.

Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.