The staff wish to express their sincere sympathy and offer their condolences to you and your family at this time.
In the first few weeks of bereavement, which can be a particularly difficult time, you will need to deal with several practical matters. This booklet aims to provide some useful help and advice during the early days of your bereavement.
Please don’t hesitate to ask questions if you are uncertain about any matter; our bereavement officers, nursing and medical staff will always be pleased to help.
Bereavement Office
Stoke Mandeville Hospital
Mandeville Road
Aylesbury HP21 8AL
Tel: 01296 316646
09.00 – 16.00 Monday to Friday
Please note the offices are not staffed at the weekend or Bank Holidays
What to do next:
Please contact the Bereavement Office after 11am the next working day to enquire when the Medical Cause of Death Certificate will be ready.
Once the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death has been written you will be called by the Bereavement Office to be advised that the MCCD is complete and has been e-mailed to the Registrar’s. You can then make an appointment at the Registrar’s office to register the death and obtain the official death certificate. It will not be necessary to come to the Bereavement Office.
If the death has been referred to the Coroner no certificate will be immediately available, relevant staff will keep you updated about this. Further information about deaths that have been referred to the Coroner are included in this booklet.
Property not collected at the time of death will be taken by the Funeral Directors apart from any valuables which will be stored in the cashier’s office and arrangements will be made for them to be collected.
The role of the Medical Examiner
The Medical Examiner is an independent senior doctor working at the hospital to ensure the information contained on the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (MCCD) is correct and that referrals to the Coroner are done in a timely and appropriate manner to avoid delays. The Medical Examiner will contact a designated family member to help you understand the cause of death. You will have an opportunity to ask further questions if you wish to do so. You will also be asked if you have any feedback regarding your loved one’s care during their final illness. Although he or she may not be able to answer your questions immediately, the Medical Examiner will advise you regarding sources of additional support or information.
The Medical Examiner will examine the care records and judge whether anything could have been done more effectively. On the rare occasions this is so, another independent Consultant will perform a detailed review of the medical notes and decide if care was adequate or not. They will make recommendations on how to avoid it happening again. We shall inform you if this is going ahead and ask you to comment on the draft report if you wish.
Referrals to the Coroner
A death, sometimes, has to be reported to the Coroner for legal reasons and the hospital staff will advise you if this has to happen, this is usually when a doctor is unable to issue a MCCD. The Coroner is appointed to investigate certain types of death. A death will be referred to the Coroner if:
• no precise cause can be established
• it is due to a complication of surgery or anaesthetics
• it is not thought to be from natural causes
• it is due to an injury or a fall, or if an accident or negligence is alleged.
There are other cases that must be referred to the Coroner, for example, death from industrial diseases, poisoning, suicide and murder. The Coroner’s Office will be able to help you and give you any advice. If a post-mortem is required, a delay may be experienced before the registration and funeral can take place.
If the death has to be reported to the Coroner you can still contact the Funeral Director of your choice to start making arrangements for the funeral, but you should tell the Funeral Director that the death has been reported to the Coroner to keep any delay in the funeral arrangements to a minimum.
You will have to wait to hear from the Coroner’s Officer before registering the death. If there is to be a post-mortem, the Coroner’s Officer will explain the procedure to you and advise you when it is appropriate to register the death.
The Coroner’s Officer can be contacted on 01494 475505.
Hospital Post-Mortem
The doctor may request a post-mortem. It would be hoped that something can be learnt from this examination which may be of benefit to yourselves and others. You are under no obligation to agree with this request. The choice is yours and your feelings and decision will be respected.
The results of the post-mortem will be sent to the patient’s GP and we suggest that you make an appointment with the GP to discuss them.
Registering the death
Once the MCCD has been issued, you must register the death, booking a face to face appointment with the registrar of births, deaths and marriages, within five days. There is no charge to register the death, however banks, building societies and other official institutions will require a certified copy, not a photocopy, of the death certificate. You can obtain copies from the registrar at the time of registration but there will be a charge for each copy requested. (As of February 2023 the cost is £11.00 per copy)
In order to register a death you must qualify as one of the following:
• a relative of the person who has died
• not related to the person who has died but you were present at their death
• the person instructing the funeral director
• someone who lived in the household where the person died
When you attend the registrar’s office the registrar will already have received a copy of the MCCD from the Bereavement Office, unless the Coroner has carried out a post-mortem, in which case all paperwork will have been processed by the Coroner’s Office and then forwarded directly to the Registrar.
The registrar will ask about:
• the date and place of death
• the full name and surname (and any other name if the deceased was a person who had married)
• the date and place of birth
• the occupation (and if applicable the name and occupation of the deceased’s spouse or civil partner)
• whether the deceased was in receipt of a pension or allowance from public funds
• if the deceased was married or in a civil partnership, the date of birth of the surviving spouse or civil partner
• if available please bring the deceased’s medical card
Once you have completed the registration process the funeral director will receive a ‘green form’ by email from the Registrar to allow arrangements to be made for cremation or burial. You will also receive a BD8 form to complete for the Department of Work and Pensions and a stamped addressed envelope will be provided to post this.
Tell Us Once
Tell Us Once is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go.
At the time of registering the death, your Registrar will enrol you onto the Tell Us Once service. You then have 28 days in which to complete the necessary details online or to contact the TUO team by telephone - full up to date contact details for TUO and your unique Reference Number will also be provided in writing for you.
Stopping Junk Mail to the recently deceased
If someone you know has died, the amount of unwanted marketing post being sent to them can be greatly reduced which helps to stop painful daily reminders.
By registering with the free service www.stopmail.co.uk the names and addresses of the deceased are removed from mailing lists, stopping most advertising mail within as little as six weeks. If you cannot access the internet you can call 0808 168 9607, where you will be asked for very simple information that will take only a few minutes to complete. Alternatively, ask the bereavement team for a leaflet that can be returned in the post.
This free of charge service provided by the Bereavement Support Network will not only actively reduce the unwanted marketing mail but also can help reduce the likelihood of identity theft following the death of someone close. The information is not used for any other purpose, and you only have to complete this once. As well as ‘Stop Mail’ a comparable service can also be accessed from the Bereavement Register or Deceased Preference Service if you would prefer to use them.
What happens if the death takes place at the weekend or on a public holiday?
Sometimes there are unavoidable delays in the issuing of the MCCD. In these circumstances the person’s body cannot be released immediately, and a delay is unavoidable. The main causes of such delays are:
1. When a death occurs ‘out of hours’ the issuing of the MCCD may be delayed, e.g. at weekends and public holidays.
2. Staff will endeavour at all times to assist in the fulfilling of any particular religious requirement you may have in relation to funeral practices. If you need to proceed quickly the ward staff will advise you regarding this.
3. Where there are legal reasons for a delay; some of these reasons are explained in the section headed ‘referrals to the Coroner’.
4. When the funeral is to take place out of England or Wales an ‘Out of England’ order will need to be issued to you by the Coroner before proceeding. A ‘Free from Infection’ certificate must be issued by the hospital prior to transportation. Your Funeral Director can arrange this.
The body of the deceased person cannot be released from the hospital without the green or yellow certificate or the Coroner’s white certificate. The Registrar will issue this certificate to the Funeral Director directly by email.
Arranging the Funeral
Funeral Directors (or Undertakers) usually offer advice and a choice of arrangements at varying prices. Ask to see a brochure and price list before you decide. It might be worth contacting more than one to compare prices. If you have internet access there are now comparison websites for funerals online.
The deceased may have expressed a wish or desire in respect of the funeral service, preferring burial or cremation for their eventual place of rest. Their preference may be indicated in their Will.
Unless you have already done so, the Funeral Director will notify your local Minister, representative of your faith or celebrant who should visit you to talk about the service.
Burials may be in a churchyard, local authority or private cemetery. Similarly, cremated remains may be buried or scattered in a Garden of Remembrance or some favourite place.
Please remember, that if you use your garden for this purpose, you may someday wish to move house.
The Department of Works and Pensions leaflet entitled “What to do after death in England and Wales”, gives comprehensive details of all the facilities and some good practical advice about what has to be done. It lists some national organisations that are there to give you advice, comfort and support.
www.gov.uk
Hospital Chaplaincy Team
The Chaplains may be able to help you at this sad time. You can contact them during normal working hours direct on:
Amersham and Wycombe Hospital 01494 425072
Stoke Mandeville Hospital 01296 316675/7
If you require a contact number for a particular representative of your faith, the Chaplains will be able to assist you.
As part of our continuous wish to provide compassionate care we may contact you in the future to ask you to complete a small questionnaire about the care that you and your loved one received.
Living with Grief
For many, the death of someone close is perhaps the most painful experience that they will face. The grief that accompanies such a loss can be intense and painful, often affecting our emotions, bodies and lives. Even when expected, it may still be a shock and learning to live with loss can be a slow process.
Losing someone is an experience that many will share, but we will all react differently. For some, expressions of grief will be overwhelming and public, for others they may be very private, but no less deeply felt, and our experience of grief can change from moment to moment. Grief may also be experienced in a physical way – such as shaking, loss of appetite, or sleeplessness. These symptoms should pass, but if they persist, please consult your family doctor.
Grief can throw our lives out of balance and there are bound to be good days and bad days; it is often best to take more time over life-changing decisions at this time.
Sometimes we need to be alone with our thoughts; at other times, we will feel the need to share them with others. This may be easier with friends and family, or with someone outside our circle of friends and family such as your family doctor, hospital chaplain or representative of your own faith, social worker or a bereavement support group.
If there are children in the family, whatever their age, talk to them about what has happened in terms they can understand. They, like us, experience grief, but may not be able to grasp what is happening. Watch for a change in behaviour and sleep patterns, reassure them, share your emotions and do not be afraid to include them.
Whatever your experience of grief and loss remember to take care of yourself during this difficult period: make time to rest, take time to remember and be sure to contact others when you feel in need of help.
Helpful Organisations
Bereavement Listening and Support Service
Offering bereavement support to anyone with a Bucks GP, (based at Florence Nightingale Hospice).
Tel: 01296 332600
Age UK Bucks
Principal source of advice and information for older people, plus befriending schemes, welfare benefits, counselling, will making, day care and lunch clubs.
145 Meadowcroft Aylesbury
Bucks HP19 9HH
Tel: 01296 431911
Website: www.ageuk.org.uk
Local Website: www.ageuk.org.uk/buckinghamshire
Cruse Buckinghamshire
Supports bereaved people and enables them to understand their grief. Offers information, advice and education.
01296 425757 (Aylesbury)
01494 511117 (High Wycombe)
01494 766455 (Chiltern & Beaconsfield)
All have a 24hr answerphone
Website: www.cruse.org.uk
National Cruse helpline: 0808 808 1677
Child Bereavement UK
Provides confidential listening, help and guidance for bereaved families.
Support line: 0800 028 8840
Email: southsupport@childbereavementuk.org
Website: www.childbereavementuk.org
Buckinghamshire Mind
A confidential counselling service for High Wycombe and surrounding areas.
High Wycombe Office
260 Desborough Road
High Wycombe
Buckinghamshire HP11 2QR
Chesham Office
Sun House 32 Church Street
Chesham
Buckinghamshire HP5 1HU
Tel: 01494 463364
Website: www.bucksmind.org.uk
Compassionate Friends
Support group for parents and family who have lost a child of any age.
Tel: 0345 123 2304
Website: www.tcf.org.uk or www.compassionatefriends.org
The Samaritans
Samaritans provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support 24 hours a day. (Available to anyone in the United Kingdom and Ireland).
Chilterns Branch
149 Station Road
Amersham
Bucks HP6 5DJ
Tel: 116 123 or 0330 094 5717
Website: www.samaritans.org
Telephone lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including Christmas and bank holidays. The centre is open for personal visits between 10am and 10pm every day.
Citizen’s Advice
Aylesbury
High Wycombe
Chesham
Tel: 0808 278 7938
Tel: 0808 278 7938
Tel: 0808 278 7938
Patient Advice & Liaison Service (PALS)
If you need advice or further assistance, please contact PALS on 01296 316042 or email bht.pals@nhs.net
Reference: Buckinghamshire Healthcare NHS Trust Bereavement Book (SMH)
Review Date: May 2026
Publication Date: May 2024
We wish to thank the advertisers and sponsors, without whom this publication would not have been possible. However, the Trust does not endorse any of the products or services they provide.
Scannappeal raises funds to purchase life saving state of the art medical equipment for Buckinghamshire NHS hospitals including Amersham, Stoke Mandeville, Wycombe and community hospitals, caring for people living across the county.
We are here to help
For advice and support on giving in memory, please get in touch.
The Trust would like to thank RNS Publications for publishing this information and the following pages contain some features from services o ering their help at this time.
Whilst the Trust is grateful of their support it does not endorse or recommend any of the services that they provide.
STOPPING JUNK MAIL
It is distressing to deal with a bereavement and unsolicited mail can be insensitive and destructive during a grieving process.
By scanning the below QR code on your phone or visiting www.stopmail.co.uk, we are able to securely share this information with mailing organisations and under the Data Protection Act the information will not be used for any other purpose.
Other benefits reduce the possibility of identity fraud, such as assumed identity and you will only have to supply the information once.
We understand how expensive funerals can be and we specialise in providing a valued service.
In recent years families have increasingly chosen more straightforward options. We can connect you with a local partner who can o er a simple and digni ed cremation from £990.00, as well as more traditional funerals where we can add personal touches to re ect your wishes.
This publication has been jointly developed between ourselves and the hospital. We hope that it has been or will be of help at this time and we welcome any comments or suggestions that you may have.
Please contact us either by phone, email or by post.
