4 minute read
All You Need to Make the Perfect Daughter On Sale! Buy NOW!
Angela Pham '25
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Hello customer,
Thank you for shopping with us today, here is the receipt for the products that you have purchased that will ensure you become the perfect Vietnamese daughter Please notice that exchanges and returns are not available. The product description and benefits are all listed below. We wish you the best of luck on your life journey. Hope to see you again.
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Item #1: Obedience
Every parent desires an obedient child. Even though it’s tempting to test your brand-new Crayola princess addition markers, please remember that your drawings on the furniture that look like vomit rather than pineapples have already caused mom stress for the entire week. Despite a failed artistic endeavor, utilizing obedience doesn't stifle your creativity, but actually nurtures it in the right direction. As obedience unifies with your childhood, you recognize the importance of listening and following rules: don’t draw on the walls, don’t draw on the floor, don’t draw on the couch. You learn to unleash innovations, creativity, ideas, and pineapple sketches on paper instead of furniture. This product guarantees you the chance of becoming the perfect little princess in your parent's eyes.
Tip: Combine the product with long-term determination to achieve the best results Cost $: Your Negligence
Item #2: Happiness and Joy Special Offer, Buy One Get One Free
As you stand in front of Little Flower Elementary School, your nerves kick in as you let go of your mother's hands for the first time. Your nervousness turns the school into a scary place, however, it is only because you haven’t felt joy. However, in reality, elementary school is a place where you can discover your interests and make friends. You'll miss out on amazing opportunities if you don't purchase Happiness. Happiness is what brought your parents together and a contributing factor to your creation. Since your family has already incorporated happiness into their lives, you can now get a 50% discount on our Happiness service. With happiness as your companion, you are allowed to enjoy spending time with your friends both during recess and in class. This emotion helps you discover the pleasure of being at school, making you feel more at ease being away from your parents' care With happiness on your side, you have formed an unbreakable bond with the girls in your class, and instead of shedding tears when you stumble during recess, you find yourself laughing it off. The contagious effect of your happiness has not only transformed your life but has also brought joy to your parents' hearts.
Cost $: Your Sadness
Item #3: Brilliance Limited Edition
As you enter middle school, the era of competition commences. No longer may you idly linger with friends throughout the day; instead, you must contend with your peers to secure victory in the 24th annual spelling bee. Fortunately, this package of brilliance guarantees your triumph. This stirring brilliance will inspire you to strive for increased intellectual prowess every single day. Brilliance will also resolve all of your difficulties, proffer solutions to your math homework, and uncover all of your Xs and Ys. With brilliance at your disposal, you shall master the art of polynomial factorization, a feat you once believed unattainable. Brilliance will permit you to tread confidently upon the path of life. Most importantly, you shall become the ideal daughter in the eyes of your parents and a child whom they’re proud of.
Cost $: Your Fun
Item #4: Beauty Best Seller
This package contains everything you need to assimilate seamlessly into the life of a teenage girl who yearns to satisfy the gaze of peers and parents. You start with applying lipstick and blush, gradually incorporating highlight and bronzer, which will accentuate your beauty. At the age of 15, you start utilizing foundation to achieve flawless skin and concealer to cover all the hideous scars on your face. However, having a pretty face and a beautiful physical form doesn’t make you fully beautiful. While appearances may captivate, the quality of your character will determine your true beauty. As your librarian often reminds you, "Don't judge a book by its cover.” Internal beauty holds equivalent importance as physical beauty. At the age of 16, you cultivate empathy, allowing you to care for others, but more importantly, you let go of conventional beauty standards and possess self-love. With judgments put aside, you foster confidence to become the perfect daughter.
Cost $: Your Time
Item #5: Mistakes Free
Through mistakes you learn to become obedient, you must first disobey. To experience happiness, you must first experience sadness, to know what it feels like to be truly happy. To achieve brilliance, you may at some point fail in class, but it is through these failures that you learn and grow. It takes hating yourself and feeling insecure before you are able to recognize that true beauty lies in your inner self Mistakes are a necessary part of personal development
Warning: Using this product without the incorporation of a healthy growth mindset will potentially inflict harm upon your ego.
Cost $: Free of charge
Item #6: Love
Free
Tears fill your mother’s eyes when she let go of your hands and sent you 8,768 miles away with the hope of enriching your perspective with the colors of diversity, staining your knowledge with different tints of culture and shades of society You learn from your mother that to love a daughter is to hold her tight but to love her more is to let her go. You learn that your dad loves you today more than yesterday and that your mom will love you more tomorrow than she did today. You learn that obedience, happiness, brilliance, beauty, and even mistakes originate from love. You may not have been perfect in your actions or choices, but your parents' love for you was unconditional and never wavered. Above all, love taught you that you have always been the perfect daughter.
Cost $: Free of charge
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Total Price: Your Negligence, Your Sadness, Your Fun, Your Time
Item(s) Free of Charge: Mistakes, Love
Shipping Address: 245 N Undermountain Rd, Sheffield, MA 01257, Berkshire School, Berkshire Hall, Ms. Pitcher’s English classroom (pickup available during G period)
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