Live Love and Eat Heal t h | Wellbeing| Nutrition
MEANT TO SHINE
ISSUE 86 APRIL 2023/ ISSN 2689-7741
ENHANCING YOUR GARDEN with Feng Shui
THE CHALLENGE OF ENDOMETRIOSIS HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE?
How to make health habits stick
I MISS ASPECTS OF MY EATING DISORDER
Fun Easter Craft Ideas
FOUR TOOLS TO HELP YOU DO WILDLY (OR EVEN MINIMALLY) UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS
What do our Pet's Zodiac Signs reveal about their Personalities
7 Ways to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full
LIVE LOVE AND EAT
WHAT IS INSIDE ISSUE 86
09
03 EDITOR'S NOTE 04 MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS 09 ENHANCING YOUR GARDEN WITH FENG SHUI
13 WHAT DO OUR PETS ZODIAC SIGNS REVEAL ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITIES
20 THE CHALLENGE OF ENDOMETRIOSIS
23 EXCLUSIVE!
HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE
27
41 7 WAYS TO EAT WHEN YOU ARE
36 I MISS ASPECTS OF MY EATING DISORDER
HOW TO MAKE HEALTH HABITS STICK?
HUNGRY AND STOP WHEN YOU ARE FULL
46 MEANT TO SHINE 48 FOUR TOOLS TO HELP YOU DO
WILDLY (OR EVEN MINIMALLY) UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS
New Stories, New Writers
Editor’s Note New stories, new writers Time just flew by for me last month. Last month was a super busy month. I've been spending much time writing my book and focusing on myself. This month I really want to focus on slowing down. By this I mean, taking time for yourself. Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it. Slowing down means taking time to eat breakfast in the morning, or reading your favorite book with no distractions. Slowing down means going for long walks and enjoying the outdoors. Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.
In this issue, we have amazing articles. if it is your health, fitness, or goals we have you covered. Be sure to check out our Recipe section for healthy Spring recipes. Be sure to look out for new episodes for our Podcast, The Live Love and Eat Show. We have amazing speakers lined up. Enjoy the month of April.
Bernadine Otto
Editor-in-Chief
CONTACT US 4497 Wyndtree Drive #212 West Chester Ohio 45069 513 2758081 bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com www.liveloveandeatmagazine.com
Our Team
4497 Wyndtree Drive , West Chester 45069 513 275 8081 | bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com
Bernadine Otto
Jace Jacobs
Managing Editor Weight loss coach
Author/Happy Mindset Poet
Judy Brown
Victoria Kleinsman
Health and Wellness coach
Food Freedom Body Love Coach
Ryan White
Dr. Danielle Litoff
Fitness and MMA Coach
Doctor of Physical Therapy and Health Coach
Sherry Parks
Linda Watson
Money Mindset Coach
Astrologer & Soul Guide
Kim Klein
Ingrid Harm-Ernandes
Life Coach, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, and author.
Pelvic physical therapist/Author
Copyright © 2023 Bernadine Otto. All rights reserved. Published by Live Love and Eat
EARTH DAY April 22, 1970, was the first Earth Day, and the date has been observed every year since as the anniversary of the birth of the modern environmental movement. Mother Earth may only officially get full attention one day a year, but you can try to take care of the planet every day.
EASTER Easter will be observed on April 5 is the start of Passover, which begins at sundown on this day. April 7 is Good Friday.
APRIL'S FOOLS DAY April Fool's Day is on the 1st of April and it is an opportunity for playing jokes or tricks on one another.
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ET G U O Y UR D I D YO ET? YY P O C
Live Your Best Life With
Live Love and Eat
ENHANCING YOUR
GARDEN WITH FENG SHUI
Written By Kim Klein
What makes a garden a Feng Shui garden? You might think that all a garden needs to have good energy is thriving plants, blooming flowers, and bright red, yellow, and orange heirloom tomatoes on the vine. Of course, these do add to the beauty of a garden, but why not take it a step further and add some Feng Shui elements to your design? In some areas, where the landscape is lush, beautiful gardens just seem to happen, Mother Nature seems to perform spectacularly on her own, not needing a helping hand. But the more you get your hands into it, the more intentional Feng Shui energy you put into your garden design, the more healing and positive energy your garden will contribute to your home and your overall wellbeing. A Feng Shui garden is one that is purposeful and done with intention. It doesn’t just happen by accident. We use the same tools to create and design a Feng Shui garden that we use when working with our homes and workspaces. These include superimposing the Bagua, (or energy map) on our yard or garden in the exact same way. There will be nine life areas, which we can enhance and activate by incorporating color, making sure all five elements (water, fire, metal, earth, and wood) are present and balanced. Combined, these all help to strengthen each area and bring auspicious energy to designated life areas. Your garden not only can provide you with beautiful flowers, fruits, and vegetables to bring to your table, but it can also help bring about positive changes and energy to any living area you desire.
You may not be familiar with the Bagua or not quite sure how to use it, and this is where a good Feng Shui practitioner or a good book can help. But even without understanding the basic Bagua layout, you can still apply many general Feng Shui landscaping guidelines to your garden this season. I have some suggestions for you.
To begin, just as with our homes, the first thing to address is clutter. We need to remove it. One of the central ideas of Feng Shui is making sure that positive energy can flow. Remove any blockages. If you have dead trees or plants in the yard, remove them. This is dead chi making your landscape dull and lifeless, which can make you feel that way as well. This is important to do even in winter when plants die back. Remove frostbitten and dead plants right away, rake up leaves, and remove fallen branches. Don’t neglect the side yard, they tend to accumulate junk. Rid yourself of things you do not love, do not have a purpose, or do not make you feel good. Pass it on. Negative chi for you can be positive chi for someone else. A water feature not only brings in the necessary water element but also creates a soothing and relaxing feature for you to enjoy in your yard. Water is a wonderful way to bring movement, sound, and visual beauty to your garden. Even a small fountain can create instant relaxation. Better still, fountains create a calming effect and often drown out nuisance noises such as traffic or noisy neighbors. If using a water feature that has “still” water, such as a birdbath, make sure to keep it clean and prevent the water from becoming stagnant. Water in Feng Shui represents wealth, our money, and we want it moving. A perfect area for a water feature is in the wealth sector of your backyard, which would be the far back left corner.
Add a fire feature to your yard. A wonderful addition would be either an outdoor fireplace or a barbeque area. Add landscape lighting to trees or walkways or install a lamppost. Lighting adds instant warmth and energy to any area. The sector best suited for fire elements is located in the far back center portion of your yard, this is our Fame area.
Another popular design element in the garden is Zen design. Try adding some bamboo in the far back right corner of your yard, the relationship sector. Bamboo is symbolic of growth, resilience, and fidelity. This is also a great place to add seating for two, a fruit tree, or anything in pairs. Another interesting and attractive addition is a Zen Garden made of raked gravel with some strategically placed boulders. These are called karesansui gardens, which translated means, “dry landscape.” This type of design relies on the use of all five elements (wood, water, earth, fire, & metal) in a landscape. Adding boulders is a wonderful addition to any garden and helps to “anchor” the landscape. Every yard needs some movement. Place a windmill or other spinning or twirling object in your yard to create movement and energy. Even outdoor flags flapping in the breeze create visual interest. Windmills, whirligigs, and windchimes are wonderful additions. You can also use living energy, such as plants that attract butterflies or bird feeders to attract hummingbirds. Wind chimes or bells are perfect in the landscape because of their beautiful tone. Make sure that the sound is pleasing sound to you. Do not hang where the winds are strongest. You don’t want the chimes, bells, or any other sound to bother neighbors. On super windy days I would go out and band the chimes together to keep them from banging away too loudly! A little can go a long way.
Most importantly, work within your abilities. Be realistic. How much time do you have to spend in a garden and what do you want from the garden? Vegetables? Flowers? A quiet retreat in nature? Incorporate some type of seating area in your design. Whether it is a simple bench, boulder seat, hammock, or Adirondack chair, it is important to have a place to relax, meditate, or read. No matter what you decide you want from your garden, after all your hard work and effort, now is the time to sit back and simply enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Kim Klein is a Life Coach, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, and author. She is the founder of Kim Klein Life Coaching and Wabi-Sabi Women and is the author of Damn, the Pusherman ~ Sugar, The Legal Drug that is Keeping You Sick and Fat, and Nine Degrees North, a young adult fiction novel. https://kimkleincoaching.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/boomerwomen/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberklein/ kimberjklein@gmail.com
WHAT DO OUR PET’S ZODIAC SIGNS REVEAL ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITIES
Written By Linda Watson
I was going to write one of my standard monthly articles focusing on Spring, new beginnings, and April astrological happenings when another idea came to me. Yes, April is the time of new beginnings, and the New Moon on April 20th is actually the first Solar Eclipse of the year; however, I also have a new beginning in my life and thought it would be fun to share a little something different. My husband and I adopted an adorable 10-week-old standard poodle puppy whom we named Cassie. We lost our beloved 12-year-old female standard poodle, Roxie, last March. Since then, our 4-year-old male standard Charlie, my husband, and I have been feeling the loss. I believe it was written in the stars how we came to have this sweet girl arrive in our life. But that’s a story for another day. This little girl is a Capricorn, born on December 27, 2022. Of course, I began to look at her personality and behavior to get an idea of how easy or difficult training would be, what her energy would look like, how sensitive she would be to our energy, and what we expect of her. I also began to think that other dog lovers and dog owners would find this interesting as well in understanding their own furry children.
Reflecting on Roxie’s personality, she was born on July 2nd and therefore was the water sign Cancer. She certainly lived up to this sign’s definition of sensitive, intuitive, and very complex. She managed to hide her illness from us until it was too late because she was such a sweet little soul and didn’t want to reveal any cause for alarm. Cancer dogs do not have a bad bone in their body. But on the other side, she could also be prone to anxiety and worry, and if she didn’t want to listen, she could be extremely obstinate. All in all, she was strongly attached to her home and loved her secure surroundings and family beyond measure. Charlie is a Pisces which is also a water sign. A Pisces dog is even more sensitive than Cancer. Extremely intuitive and loving. Very mellow and happy to just be where his family is. With Cancer, when feelings get hurt, Roxie would go off on her own and pout. With Charlie, he just retreats within himself. These two got along famously because they intuitively understood each other and knew when to be together and when to back off. They shared the gift of emotions which enabled them to understand each other In a rather unique way. And because Cancer is a nurturing sign, she made a great companion for the kind and caring sign of Pisces. Now, what happens when you mix the Capricorn earth sign which is our newbie, Cassie, with the Pisces water sign of Charlie? I think she will definitely have a nice grounding effect on Charlie, hopefully bringing more confidence to his nature. And Charlie will provide a quiet and calm energy needed by a Capricorn dog. Capricorn dogs don’t do well with hyperactive energy.
Linda Watson is the owner and creator of Soul Guide Astrology. She is a member of the American Federation of Astrologers. She provides birth chart readings and solar return (yearly) chart readings, offering support, insight and guidance to better help others find their focus and move forward with their dreams. You can schedule a consultation by visiting her website, www.soulguideastrology.com. Find her on Facebook at Facebook.com/linda.watsonastrolog or on Instagram at instagram.com/soulguideastrology
Here are descriptions of the zodiac signs as they show up in your dog’s personality.
TAURUS – April 20 – May 20 ARIES – March 21 – April 19
Good luck to those of you who have a dog with a
If your pet was born between
Taurus personality. He/she
March 21 – April 19, he/she will
will be headstrong and
have an Aries personality. Expect
stubborn, which can make it
this pup to have a confident,
somewhat difficult when
If you’ve got a dog with a Gemini
strong-willed, and assertive
trying to train or control.
personality, this is a pet that can
demeanor. He/she will definitely
Plan on having tons of
literally outsmart you. Ruled by
have their own mind and will want
yummy treats to entice them
Mercury, they are curious,
to do things their own way. Be
into doing what you want
intelligent and mischievous. Take
prepared for lots of activity,
them to. If you plan on
this one to the dog park as this
playing, and running around. As
taking your pet on trips, this
type is very sociable and loves to
long as you keep them happy with
could prove difficult in that
mingle. A Gemini pup should be
lots of play initiative, they will be
this is a dog personality that
in a fenced in yard because they
an awesome addition to the
absolutely does not like any
are notorious escape artists.
family. And if you have always
change in his/her routine.
Always with their nose to the
wanted to do agility training with
But on a positive note, this
ground to gather more
your pup, this is the personality
dog loves to be loved,
information which can take them
that would love it.
cuddled and pampered, and
to places unknown.
is the perfect companion for long walks in nature.
GEMINI – May 21 – June 20
Here are descriptions of the zodiac signs as they show up in your dog’s personality.
LEO – July 23 – August 22 CANCER – JUNE 21 – JULY 22
All the world’s a stage and this furry friend wants to be
If you are looking for a warm-
front and center. They love
hearted, loving, devoted
attention and don’t mind
companion, this is the zodiac
being brushed and
personality for you. Cancer pups
pampered to look their best.
IAlso ruled by Mercury, this is a
become very attached to their
A Leo personality is also
very intelligent and dedicated
families and can’t bear to be away
very loyal and very
dog. If you are looking for a
from home. So, if you travel, plan
protective of the people they
service dog, this personality
on having a pet nanny stay at
love. This is a very
would be perfect. They love
your house as opposed to a
courageous animal who
having a job to do and are very
kennel. Cancer dogs also make
would probably step in the
attached to their routines. They
awesome service animals as they
middle of anything or anyone
are also very dutiful and make
have a level of compassion that
trying to be aggressive to a
excellent guard dogs. This is also
tunes into the person who needs
member of their tribe.
a very hygienic pup who likes
them.
VIRGO – August 23 – September 22
his/her personal space to be clean and would rather explode than create a mess in their bed or living space.
Here are descriptions of the zodiac signs as they show up in your dog’s personality.
SCORPIO – October 23 – November 21 LIBRA – September 23 – October 22
Gorgeous to look at and sweet as can be. A Libra pet is very wellbalanced. They want to snuggle and love on everyone in their family without picking a favorite. They don’t like being left alone, so having another pet would be wonderful for this sign. Be aware during training that they can be a bit ADD as a Libra pup can be easily distracted. Please be patient with these tender hearted souls. Their feelings can be hurt easily if you speak harshly. They need lots of repetition and gentle positive reinforcement.
This is an extremely loyal and dedicated personality and they will often attach themselves to one specific person in the household. It
SAGITTARIUS – November 22 – December 21
may take some time to gain
The pup with a Sagittarius soul is
their trust, but once you do
friendly, adventurous, comical
you’ve got a friend for life.
and absolutely does not like
They are extremely
being restrained in any way. Be
perceptive and can sniff out
prepared to let this one off leash
anything or anyone who is
to run free and explore all the
inauthentic. When they look
sights and smells that nature has
you in the eye, it is intense.
to offer (safely of course). They
They seem to really
are happiest being outside, so if
understand who you are and
you love outdoor activities, hiking
will let you know when they
and traveling, this is the
are ready to trust you. The
companion for you. Because this
Scorpio pup enjoys puzzle
is a very freedom loving
toys where he/she can
personality, keep a watchful eye
investigate and keep his/her
on them so they don’t wander off
mind active.
in their quest for adventure. As for training, let them know what is expected of them and they will give you 100%.
Here are descriptions of the zodiac signs as they show up in your dog’s personality.
AQUARIUS – January 20 – February 18 CAPRICORN – December 22 – January 19
Aquarian dogs are quite unique little characters.
Dogs with the Capricorn personality are serious minded and calm, but also smart and good-natured and eager to please. They are the natural workers of the zodiac, so expect your pup to be the star of his/her training class. They are quick learners and don’t forget once they are taught a task. The training technique that works best for this sign is positive reinforcement. They respond much better to rewards than being yelled at for mistakes. They inherently really want to do the right thing. This sweet soul prefers to sit back and observe
They are not really cuddly
PISCES – February 19 – March 20
and overly affectionate but are super social and love to make friends. You can recognize this little rebel at the dog-park as the one not following the others but leading the chase. This is also the one dog with a social consciousness wanting to help people and other animals. If you have ever seen a dog rescuing someone from a burning building or from drowning in a lake, you have just witnessed an Aquarian dream.
If your dog is a Pisces you have an extremely sensitive and highly intuitive companion. They can pick up the vibe in the room or the energy of other people before you have a chance to take anything in at all. If your pup takes an instant dislike to someone, that is the only caution sign you will need to stay away from that person. They are happiest with their chosen person or people and will be attached like Velcro to your side. These personalities are the most gentle,
before jumping into the mix. Make
kind and loving of the pet world. If
sure you give him/her a good
you are looking for a soulmate
challenge and new tricks to learn
who will listen to you, provide you
every now and then to give a
comfort, and follow you from
sense of achievement.
room to room, this is the one for you.
THE
CHALLENGES
OF
ENDOMETRIOSIS
Written By Ingrid Harm-Ernandes
The first question is quite often: “What is endometriosis?” That is a challenge in itself. Although we have started to understand it better than we have in the past we still have a long way to go. Endometriosis is described as an inflammatory condition where endometrial tissue (tissue that is similar to the lining of the uterus) grows outside the uterus. More recent evidence shows that endometriosis is not purely lesions in the pelvis but also involves the entire neurological and musculoskeletal system. As with so many things in life, endometriosis is not just one single issue but a complex combination of issues. It is not simply some lessons that we need to treat, it is rather a combination of issues that impact our entire body. As we begin to understand this better, we can treat it more comprehensively. If we look at the whole body, we can more effectively treat many conditions. We should be looking at the neuromuscular system and how it can impact pain and create functional limitations.
“What kind of symptoms does endometriosis have?” Symptoms can be variable and include severe abdominal and pelvic pain, painful periods (dysmenorrhea), painful sex (dyspareunia), painful urination, fatigue, nausea, and infertility. It is a chronic disease with severe life-impacting implications. (WHO). Endometriosis has elements of a pain syndrome with central neurological sensitization (Stratton and Berkley 2011) “Who can have it?” It may affect more than 10-11% of American women between 15 and 44. (Buck et al. 2011, Zondervan 2020), WHO and Office on Women’s Health. It affects an estimated 176 million women of reproductive age worldwide (Adamson et al.,2010)
“Can it be treated?” Yes, it can. There are a number of treatment modalities that can be used. It was originally thought that hormone therapy and surgery were the only recourse that someone with endometriosis could have. Now that we understand there are entire systems involved (hormonal, muscular, and neurological) more treatment options have opened up. Pelvic physical therapy can address many of the symptoms and underlying musculoskeletal components including pain with sex, pelvic pain, and back and abdominal pain. Pelvic physical therapists work toward calming the entire body, recognizing stressors that increase pain and activities and foods that may irritate the bowel and bladder. We teach skills that will improve the patient’s ability to function not just now but throughout their life. We help the patient form a team of providers that can look at all the aspects of endometriosis and treat the patient as a whole.
Endometriosis can indeed be challenging. It can be challenging to live with, challenging to diagnose, and challenging to treat. But all of this is improving! This information can help answer some important questions and move more people toward getting the help they need. As with so many pelvic conditions getting a better understanding of how your body works, and what your symptoms might be, goes a long way to empowering you to ask for help and also assist a loved one to get help.
Ms. Harm-Ernandes is a pelvic physical therapist. She was the Co-Director and a mentor for the Duke Women’s Health Physical Therapy Residency Program, a mentor for new pelvic PTs, and participated in PFDN research projects. She is board certified in Women’s Health (WCS) and Pelvic Bloor Biofeedback and served on committees for both the APTA and AUGS. She enjoys presenting the importance of recognizing and assessing the pelvic musculoskeletal system. She published “Assessment of the Pelvic Floor and Associated Musculoskeletal System”, in the FPMRS journal in December 2021. In 2021 she published her book, “The Musculoskeletal Mystery: How to solve your pelvic floor symptoms”. She has been a guest on national and international podcasts and webinars and is “The Pelvic Detective on YouTube. Her goal is to provide individuals with the knowledge they need to get proper pelvic care and for everyone to realize that pelvic conditions are common but not normal. https://www.linkedin.com/in/ingrid-harm-ernandes-5057773b/ https://www.facebook.com/ingrid.harmernandes.71/
How to Make the Most of Your Life
WRITTEN BY RYAN WATSON
Have you ever taken a step back and looked at your life, only to realize you don’t know how you got there? There is a point in just about everyone’s lives where they feel so hopeful about the future and excited for what’s to come. In most cases though, that goes away. It’s very rarely this big, grand thing either when that feeling fades. It’s usually more like a frog submerged in water that slowly starts to boil: you don’t realize it until it happens. The future that you had previously been so optimistic for, suddenly seems to just be filled with a job that you likely just tolerates, a marriage that seems to have lost its passion, and rather than taking the time to pursue things that thrill and excite you, your days are filled with mundane routines that simply just get you to the next day. If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. It also doesn’t need to be this way.
The way out of this rut, or the way to avoid it entirely if you haven’t hit it, is to live intentionally. That’s a platitude that gets thrown around quite a bit, but it’s important. Living intentionally means you have goals that you’re aiming for, and you’re also working each day to inch closer to achieving them. These don’t have to be huge swings every day. Nobody hits home runs with every at-bat. What I’m talking about is the principle of Kaizen. This is the framework where you strive for one percent better, each and every day. The aim of Kaizen is to get one percent better every day. Each of us, if we’re being honest, has areas that need to be improved. If you focus on one specific area at a time, maybe your fitness or your finances, over time you can radically improve. People make the mistake of trying to do too much too quickly, burning out, and quitting. The consistent small action you take daily is far more significant than the big action you take two or three times and then quit.
Let’s take fitness for example: you have two people, person A does three long, intense, workouts three days in a row, and then quits after because their so beat down and sore from it. Then you have person B who doesn’t do a single long and intense workout, but he walks for thirty minutes everyday for six months.
Person B is going to lose more weight over time because person B kept going, even though the actual action itself wasn’t nearly as intense. It’s about steady action over time. Now as you get fitter and the habit is ingrained, you’d want to up the intensity so it’s still work, but at the end of the day, that’s the way to yield real results. If you want a great tactical way to implement Kaizen into your life, start with something to aim at. Decide which part of your life needs changing, and if there are multiple areas, decide which needs attention immediately, and begin crafting a “Power List”. The Power List was created by 1st Phorm founder and CEO, Andy Frisella, and with it, you create a list of five critical tasks each day that will win you the day and move you toward your goal. As you complete each task, cross it off and put a W next to it. Each day you should have five W’s on your list, and the next day you do it again, and again, and again until you’ve achieved your goal. Do this daily for a long enough time and you can completely reinvent yourself and change your life if that’s what you’re looking for.
Ryan White is a fitness and MMA coach who has been in the fitness industry for over ten years. Growing up obese and unhealthy, Ryan changed and committed to a healthy lifestyle when he decided to become an MMA fighter. Having lost over one hundred pounds in preparation for a competition, he now strives to help others make meaningful change having trained everyone from marathon runners and UFC fighters to average Joes and Janes. Ryanwhitefitness@gmail.com https://www.instagram.com/ryanthegreatwhite85
“How do you move from missing the ’empty tight feeling’ in the stomach each morning?” This is a great question because I used to miss this feeling so much, along with other aspects of the eating disorder, which is what I want to go into today. I know that I’m not the only one who feels (or more so felt) this way and so I want to talk about it in the hope to validate and support those that are currently in recovery and perhaps missing the eating disorder. It’s normal, it will pass, and going back to the ED is NOT the answer. Things I used to miss about my eating disorder I’ll share what I used to miss about my eating disorder and then after each one I’ll give you an honest overview of where I am at with that now. I started my recovery journey 5 years ago the time I am writing this. The feeling of being empty As always, it’s not the actual empty feeling itself, it’s what you make it mean. Due to my childhood upbringing alongside society’s conditioning, here’s what I made it mean… Feeling physically empty made me feel successful and special .. like I was innately good if I was totally empty. It felt safe, reassuring, and comforting. It felt like I was
closer to myself somehow, empty with no distraction from emotions…even though now I know that I was totally disconnected from my body. Part of it felt painful… and ‘pain’ was good. It meant that I was strong and didn’t need to be controlled by the human body’s needs – such as eating, drinking, using the toilet, etc. I could hear what my body was asking for yet I had the ability to totally ignore it.
Most people can’t do that and most people try to do that when they diet. I could endure pain, and ignore my body’s needs and that made me feel superior. When I took laxatives and my system was fully empty, I felt ‘clean’ and (here’s that word again)… ‘safe’. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be ‘seen’ and ‘acknowledged’ and ‘loved’ but at the same time, I didn’t want anyone to notice me. I wanted to be left alone yet I was lonely. I wanted to be different and separate from everyone else… yet I longed for belonging and to feel included. I wanted to be able to just eat a chip and not think anything of it like my sister… but at the same time, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to die but I didn’t want to fully live either. I could go on and on but to clarify; I loved feeling empty because of what I made emptiness mean (due to childhood trauma, conditioning, and my personality) … success, superiority, safety, numbness, coping, comfort, love, being seen, and acknowledgment. I missed feeling empty or should I say, I missed those feelings of what emptiness used to give me, as I entered into recovery. In fact, I felt the complete opposite of those feelings in recovery! This is what giving things meaning does to you (and also why recovery is so god dam hard)… if you make emptiness ‘mean’ success, superiority, safety, love, being seen, and acknowledgment, then fullness automatically means failure, Inferiority, danger, overwhelm, rejection, unloved, and not seen…
No wonder you miss the feeling of emptiness if the feeling of fullness is so overwhelmingly painful. right?! The good news is, you get to change all of that! You get to change what you make emptiness and fullness mean. And how do you do that? By understanding and letting go of your trauma, changing your identity, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions, behavior, and therefore the reality you live in. “If you want to change your personal reality, you must first change your personality”. -Dr. Joe Dispenza
Your personality consists of your identity, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions, and behaviors. Change those (and you can) and your whole reality/life with change. For 1:1 or group support to do, reach out to me to explore the ways in which you can work with me. Where I’m at now: Do I still miss the feeling of being empty? In short, no. I do not miss the feeling of being empty anymore. In fact, the only pleasure I get from feeling empty is to know that when I eat next it’s going to feel extra satisfying! When my tummy rumbles now and I can’t eat; I say to my body (out loud if I’m not on a coaching call) “It’s ok sweetheart, in ___ we can eat. Just hang on my love.”
I get no feeling of satisfaction or success, only the desire to feed and nourish myself and if left too long, hangry! I got here by doing the inner work to live in full recovery and self-love. By getting support By re-wiring my fear of weight gain. Understanding and letting go of my trauma.
By changing my personality (identity, beliefs, thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviours.) By reflecting on my values and purposefully living in alignment with them. By connecting with my worth and self-love. Letting go of needing to be the best or needing to prove something.
Honestly, it’s difficult to put into words how I get to where I am it’s more of a journey you go on and then experience… but I got here and so have my clients. And you can too! Here is what else I used to miss about my eating disorder…
Being thin/lean I used to love being thin when I was in anorexia and lean when I was in bulimia. I didn’t see how thin I was in the anorexia even though I could see every bone in my body… I knew I wasn’t “fat” but I always wanted the number on the scales to go down. I secretly loved it when someone said “oh my goddess you’re way too thin”. I thought they were only jealous as like so many people, they wish they could restrict themselves. I’d watched my mum and aunties diet my whole life after all.
In my bulimia when I was super lean, it felt amazing when people would comment on my body… “Wow, your body is insane! I wish I looked like you!” “Your body is unreal. I wish I had your discipline.”
I also often had married men attempt to date me and when I asked outright about their relationship they would say things like, “Yeah but look at you, you’re different, you’re every man’s dream” which then for me this equated to; Being lean = being desired, loved, and safe from being cheated on by your partner.
I also genuinely liked the look of my body when I was fitness modeling. Granted, it was never good enough but at least I was proud of what I had achieved and the validation from others made it all worthwhile. I had similar feelings about being thin and lean as I did when I felt empty… I felt successful, desired, superior, safe, comforted, loved, seen, and acknowledged.
Where I’m at now: Do I still miss being thin/lean?
I’m always radically honest and raw with you and the answer to this question is honestly both yes and no… I miss looking in the mirror and loving the way my body looks. I miss being able to wear anything it actually fits, looks good, and feels comfortable. I miss feeling super light when I run and train… Please don’t run away from this podcast and recovery, I’ll speak to this more in a moment! Let me phrase it in a different way. If someone asked me “would you like a million pounds?” what do you think I’d say…? Right? Let’s not beat around the bush…being thin/lean gives you social capital. More men will desire you, women will envy you, you get served quicker, you’re more likely to get what you want (unfortunately because that’s how fucked up society is) and people will want to be like you (or so we think anyway). We’re human and we have egos so who doesn’t want all of that?
HOWEVER at what cost? This is where my hard NO comes in. I do NOT miss everything I had to do and be to be lean. (in bulimia, obsessed with food, my body and my toilet habits, my happiness and sense of worth relying fully on how I look). I do NOT miss my shallow, egotistic values all based on what I looked like (but were rooted in fear of not being good enough or loved). No way ho-say. Plus now, I deeply love and accept myself and my body and how it looks. It doesn’t mean anything negative to me anymore if I don’t like the way I look. I wouldn’t trade self-love and acceptance for thinness AND a million pounds… really!
What I have gained as well as weight is my sanity, happiness, self-love, deeper more aligned values, freedom, connection to myself, my body and others, a meaningful life, an incredible relationship and honestly SO much freakin’ more! And so I do miss small aspects of my lean body but what I have now is 100000000000000x better and more important to me than loving my physical reflection in the mirror, clothes fitting easier and feeling light and fast during fitness. Knowing what I know now and feeling how I feel now in my body and my life, restriction is just not worth it.
It was my number 1 coping mechanism The restriction was my number one coping mechanism. It made me feel safe and in control. It stopped me from feeling all the feels and it distracted me big time. It was also so easy to blame my body anytime I felt anxious, uncertain, angry, or upset with anything in life that had nothing to do with my body. Yet I would unconsciously make it about my body. My body was my greatest scapegoat. Didn’t get the job? Must be because I need to lose weight. Didn’t get the man? Need to get to the gym more! Not sure how this situation is going to pan out? If I lose weight then everything will fall into place! Sound familiar…? When I started recovery and my coping mechanism was gone, shit hit the fan! I felt overwhelmed, and out of control, and didn’t even know who the fuck I was or what to do. It took a while, a lot of exploration, and a shit ton of self-compassion to find other ways to cope with life. Emotional eating (which always spiraled into binge eating) was my second choice of coping mechanism. It’s the other side of the coin to restriction. When I added in ways to self-soothe and practice feeling my feelings – journalling about them helped – I was able to naturally and gradually move away from restriction and binge eating and find other ways to support me such as learning to dance with an app, foam rolling and yoga, listing to music, journalling, cuddling my dog, asking for support from my man, watching a movie, walking in nature and sometimes just feeling my feelings. “The worse thing that will ever happen to you is you’ll feel a feeling” The restriction is NOT the answer. It’s self-harming behavior.
Where I’m at now: Do I still miss it as my coping mechanism? I don’t miss restricting as my coping mechanism anymore. The more spiritual development I do, the more I am able to surrender to what is. I don’t really feel the need to ‘cope’ anymore as I have learned to accept and surrender to what is and to look for the lesson in challenging times. When you are able to be with your feelings, feel them and then let them go, you don’t need to cope anymore. I’m definitely no Buddha or Jesus and so of course I’m not always able to fully surrender and embrace what is and when I’m not able to access that, my coping mechanism is to spend time alone…whether that be taking myself to the cinema on a solo date or for a walk in nature. Anything that gets me out of my head and connected to something else, especially something greater than me.
Having an eating disorder as my identity When I was anorexic, it was who I was. It was what I was good at. Everyone treated me as anorexic. I felt cared for when people worried about me. I simultaneously loved and hated all the attention and the extra care I got. At my core, I wanted to be taken care of, I wanted someone to come and “save me”… but nobody could. Turns out you can only save yourself! The longer I was in anorexia, the more ingrained my identity of it was. I unconsciously used it as an excuse not to be able to recover “because I was anorexic” and anorexics don’t eat. I used to look at pro-ana websites and felt like I belonged. I was one of them. I would hear professionals saying things like “You’ll never truly get rid of your eating disorder, you’ll just learn to live with it in a different way.” and “Anorexia is extremely difficult to recover from fully and many never do.” I was basically living in learned helplessness. If we don’t become aware of what we are choosing as our identity then we will never be able to change it. Our identity feels like it’s who we are but we are so much more… we are literally infinite possibilities. Over time, my eating disorder morphed into bulimia (and then eventually binge eating) and so then I identified as being super fit and lean and others would say I was super “healthy” (haha- jokes, if only they knew!) I always had a goal that I was working towards… and it was always weight loss and improving my fitness. It gave me purpose, drive, motivation, and a sense of achievement. It felt good, I was good at it and well… who the fuck would I be without it? If you don’t spend your entire life trying to lose weight and then sustain it then what else are you supposed to do…? When we say the words I AM, we are literally casting a spell to keep us in the I am. “I am anorexic.” “I am a binge eater.” “I am bulimia.” “I am terrified of weight gain.” “I am not enough.” Even to the point that we say “I am anxious/sad/lonely/angry.” No! You are not any of those things, you are EXPERIENCING them. YOU (the true you) is an infinite possibility and you are experiencing what you’re currently experiencing. Deattach yourself from anything that you identify as and start to notice that you are infinite. You can be, do, and have anything you truly desire, including food freedom, and body love.
Where I’m at now: Do I still miss it being my identity? Hell no! When I LET GO of identifying with the eating disorder, let go of the ideal body I had been chasing since I was 9, and took time to write out my vision of whom I’d like to be, everything started to shift. I was no longer unconsciously holding onto my identity as someone with an eating disorder. I was moving toward the new version of me that didn’t have an eating disorder. By letting go of the identity that had been keeping me stuck, was I then able to move forward and make huge progress and heal. I now identify as a soul living a human experience and I allow myself to follow my heart and live in alignment with my values, wherever that takes me. I know I am infinite possibility and I know that my GPS in life is my heart and my intuition.
But you don’t have to believe in the woo-woo like I do to be free from yourself. You can create a new identity that serves you. EG- You can choose to identify as someone who loves their body and themselves and eats with freedom, nourishment, pleasure and intuition. “You can’t heal from an eating disorder if you’re acting like someone with an eating disorder.” – Tabitha Farra
The high that bingeing gave me Honestly, I used to miss that intense feeling just before and during a binge so much. The rush of excitement, adrenaline, release, pleasure, freedom, and allowance. The anticipation of buying my binge foods knowing the pleasure and release I’d feel when I started eating. The almost drug-like high I’d get when I started eating. The taste, the pleasure, the letting go of resistance. It felt so good. It was like a part of me enjoyed starving and feeling deeply deprived because I knew that I’d soon cave in and binge and that would feel SO good compared to the restriction. It was like I lived for the highs and lows. Of course, the high only lasted a short time as the low would come the moment I’d finished eating. The shame, self-loathing, fear of weight gain, anxiety, panic, the plan to restrict the next diet to follow… Honestly, I only stopped dieting because I couldn’t diet for longer than an hour in the end. I had literally lost my ability to restrict and all I was doing was bingeing. I wasn’t even getting the high from it as much because I wasn’t restricting in between. That’s when I reached rock bottom and reached out for help.
Where I’m at now: Do I still miss the high? I kind of sometimes miss the high that I used to get from restricting and then bingeing. Now I live in food freedom, food is just food. Yes, it’s a delicious part of life and I still love chocolate but it doesn’t hit the spot quite the same way as it used to. I eat it whenever I want it. It’s not forbidden. Therefore there are no long periods without it and I am not mentally restricted and so I know I can always have as much as I want when I want it. But again, there’s no way I would trade in the high just before and during a binge for what I have now.
How to let go of what you miss To speak to Sarah’s question; “How do you move away from missing _____?” then this is my answer… What do you want more….thinness or recovery from the hell-hole of restriction or feeling crazy around food? Food freedom, body acceptance, and sanity really begin the moment we decide that we want sanity & freedom …more than we want thinness; more than we want our food to look a certain way. There will no doubt be triggers towards restrictive thoughts and behaviors along the way; there will no doubt be struggles with body image, diet culture, or a desire to control; but when we decide that our mental health and happiness are more valuable than trying to control our food and bodies at all costs; when we prioritize our mental health, happiness, and well-being over whatever rationalization for the restriction that our fear brains have come up with that day, that’s when we can finally do honest, effective work towards healing our relationship with food and our bodies—that’s when we’re really on our way. Every moment that we make a choice to put our recovery first—over our compulsive desire to control—is a moment that we stand for and move towards our own liberation. With body image and self-love work, you can do this! I can help you with every step. Either in a group environment or 1:1. Reach out to me.
Victoria is a Certified Transformational Life Coach specializing in helping high-achieving women to heal their relationship with food & their body. She is a coach, mentor, speaker, and writer; working with women from all around the globe, speaking at worldwide events, and is a writer for Live Love And Eat Magazine. Victoria has lived with eating disorders and body hate for over 20 years. (she was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa in her early teens and then Binge Eating Disorder and Bulemia in her early twenties). Through her own personal experiences, education, certification, and countless hours spent on personal development, she holds the skills, knowledge, and empathy to guide and support you to food freedom whilst building a loving relationship with yourself and your body. Victoria has profoundly helped many women around the world to transform their lives and she knows the importance and value of constantly investing in and improving herself in order to serve her clients powerfully. Her goal is to positively impact millions of women from all around the world. https://www.victoriakleinsman.com/ info@victoriakleinsman.com https://www.facebook.com/victoriakleinsman https://www.instagram.com/victoriakleinsman/ Podcast: https://anchor.fm/victoria-kleinsman “Victoria’s Secrets To Health & Happiness” on any podcats platform Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1g1H40rbSQ6Trmcha59kDg
HOW TO MAKE HEALTH HABITS STICK W R I T T E N
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It’s April. Have you stuck to your New Year’s resolution? If not, don’t feel bad. It is so common that there is even a National Quitter’s Day that falls on the second Friday in January. This year it fell on January 13th, 2023. So why is it so hard to make resolutions or new habits STICK? I can speak to healthy habits in particular and the biggest two reasons are: The person doesn’t have a good “why” for the change in habit, or it does not fit into their lifestyle. When resistance is greater than pleasure or benefit – we give up. Start with Your Why You have to start with your “why”. Don’t say, “I want to lose ten pounds.” Think about WHY you want to lose 10 pounds. Is it because you want to feel and look better in your clothes; you want to play with your kids easier, or you want to feel sexy in your marriage? This is true for health goals big and small. Let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds and run an Ironman. Figure out why you want to do that. It can’t be because it’s trendy and you saw someone on Instagram. But it can be because you are pre-diabetic and want to live healthier, or you used to be an athlete and life got in the way, so now you are ready to put yourself and your health first again.
The why has to be powerful and tied to something you want for yourself and your life. Habit Stacking and Realistic Timelines If you want to lose 10 pounds, you can do that in a relatively short amount of time as long as you stay consistent and focused on your why. But, if your goal is 50 pounds and an Ironman, then do not sign up for a race this May. Look into 2024 and give yourself 18 months to get there. When you have a big complex goal, you need small short goals that step you forward to meet your ultimate objective. Break it down – for example, commit to running two miles two times a week for three weeks. Then the next month move it up to three miles two times a week, and one long run, five to six miles on the weekend. One of the best things you can do to reach your goals and build a habit is habit stacking. Trying to completely change your diet, your workout, your sleep, and your supplements all at once is a recipe for overwhelm and eventually you give up. It’s too much all at once. Habit stacking allows you to pair an established habit with a new habit. Start with something you know you can fit into your schedule and then build on it once you gain more consistency. For example, if you already warm up your coffee in the microwave for a minute, do squats while you wait. Or after you drop your kids off at school, you go directly to the gym; or you can practice balance while you’re brushing your teeth. Whatever you can realistically start with, do that. Then once that becomes a habit, stack something else on top that will help you reach your health goals.
Consistency and Convenience When you set your health goals, make sure the habits you need are convenient to your lifestyle. Do not sign up for a specialty gym that is way outside of your commute or pick a diet that takes a full day of meal prep if you don’t have the time. Instead, maybe find a yoga studio next to your kid’s karate dojo and take a class while they take a class. Whatever it is, make sure it is convenient and fits into your already busy and demanding life. Once you have a plan of what you want to do and when then you have to make it consistent. Consistency breeds habits. If you have committed to working out for 20 minutes on Wednesday evening, then that is your priority. If you find yourself missing it, making excuses, or just hating it the whole time, then you need to change your plan to find something you will do consistently and that brings you satisfaction. This brings us to… Find What You Like and What Works Best for You Listen to me clearly: You do NOT need to go to the gym to meet your health goals. The point is movement and feeling better. If that’s the gym for you, great! But if it is not, great! I have a friend who really struggled at the gym. She found ballroom dancing and lost 50 pounds, and she met her husband! She also found a whole community of friends and like-minded people. Now ballroom dancing is a strong habit for her and has completely changed her health and wellness. Another example is a walking club. When I was a new mom, we had the Stroller Striders, which was a group of moms who would consistently walk together and do exercises in the park with our babies. This sense of community helped keep us all accountable and supported, which was so important for building that habit. There are also tons of specialty gyms and programs that focus on a particular methodology or exercise that may speak to you. Kaia Fit, Crossfit, YogaPod, Orange Theory – you name it, there is a specialty that might be a perfect fit for you, your personality, and your schedule. You just have to find your niche.
Find Your People However, if you decide to make a habit or hit a health goal, make sure you surround yourself with people who are likeminded and can support you. Many of the groups, plans, and classes listed in this article come with a community. Especially for women, that sense of community and support is so important. Not even just for physical health but also for mental and spiritual well-being. It can be very helpful to have peers who are in the same stage of life, but also a mentor or a coach who can help guide you when it gets hard or you have a sticking point. That is the secret sauce I see in my Fueled to Thrive groups. These amazing women share and support each other to get everyone to their individual health goals, while I guide and coach them to make sure they have the tools and feel empowered.
Dr. Danielle Litoff DPT is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and Health Coach at Battle Born Health in Reno, NV. Her practice focuses on the principles of modern, proven medicine, delivered with an old-fashioned commitment to patient care and one-on-one relationships. For more wellness tips, visit her blog where she writes about various topics of nutrition, health, and physical therapy." https://www.battlebornhealth.com/ https://www.facebook.com/battlebornhealth/ https://www.instagram.com/battlebornhealth/
7 Ways To Eat When You are Hungry And Stop When You Are Full Written By Bernadine Otto
I still have to ask myself this question: "Are you really hungry"?
Make sure your hunger is not dehydration, before you eat drink a glass of water. Wait 10 minutes and see if you are really hungry. See the Hunger scale. Watch the clock to calculate when was the last time you had something to eat. 4-6 hours in between meals is good. Eat mindfully, when you feel you have enough stop eating. Try to discover what feelings prompt your emotional eating. Uncover your feelings by tuning into the psychical sensation of emotion- Weight in the chest – sadnessTension in shoulders + neck – anger- Feeling energetic – happiness
When adding food to your plate, practice portion control, size that fits into the palm of your hand.
Don't stick gum, a lollipop or a mint into your mouth to satisfy your hunger, go with healthy foods that satisfies you.
Keep a food journal and track down what you eat every day and when.
And last of all listen to your body. You are the only person that knows your body.
The Hungerscale From a scale from 1-10, how hungry are you?
01 02
I am good – you feel 100% satisfied
I feel ok but I need to eat soon – you feel a little less than satisfied but you are still ok. You are not yet hungry.
03
I am hungry – You are starting to think about food and it feels like you might need to eat soon
04
I am really hungry now – You are feeling the physical hunger now; your tummy is growling and you start to feel a bit anxious now
The Hungerscale
05 06
Ok I really got to eat right now – you feel irritable and unable to concentrate. You may even feel nauseous.
I am desperate – you are tired and you have a headache, you need to eat or you are going to make trouble
07
I am a bit too good – you are starting to feel uncomfortable, you know you shouldn’t eat more but you do anyway
08
I feel uncomfortable – this is where you unbutton your pants and start wishing you hadn’t had those last few bites
The Hungerscale
09 10
I ate too much – you feel tired, bloated, and stuffed.
I don’t feel good – you swear you will never eat again.
Bernadine Otto is a Certified Transformational Nutrition Coach & an EFT Practitioner and the Managing editor of The Live, Love, and Eat Magazine. She helps women to make peace with food, cravings, and emotional eating by using a technique called The EFT Tapping Method for Weight Loss and Cravings. She also works with women who are tired of dieting, and women who have a negative body image. My approach is not to focus on calories or the scale but to find the root cause so my clients can have the happy, healthy life that they deserve. https://www.bernadineisthebodyshrink.com/ https://www.liveloveandeatmagazine.com/ https://www.instagram.com/dienkie1/
Meant to Shine Written By Jace Jacobs
The cool thing about experience is that it creates evidence. That evidence breeds confidence and self-love which is a powerful combination. So the more you stick your toe in the water of a new experience... the more you are further creating evidence of your awesomeness, and your confidence and self-love will grow as a result. I love the wealth of experience I'm receiving as we head into a new month. Spring brings a fresh start and a new opportunity to shine. 2023 is rolling along nicely. How is the year going for you? Namaste Jace Jacobs Appreciate Everything ~ Love Fully ~ Need Nothing
Meant to Shine A peaceful momma panda Watches a rainbow in the sky Alignment with mother Gaia As a butterfly passes by Off in the distance Civilization she could see A gathering of Incarnated Angels Starseeds, Lightworkers, and Me Our mission is clear As we head out to play Collectively raise up the vibration Each and every day Please show your crystals And I’ll show you mine Let’s set the example You and I, we’re meant to shine This spring is an opportunity to gain new experiences that feel good to you. Go for that good feeling right now. Cheers to the process of creation and the reward of new experiences. Shine bright my friend.
Meet Jace Jacobs! Jace Jacobs is a Happy Mindset Poet, Performer, and Creator @ jacejacobs.com. Jace is an author and spoken word poetry performer. His Happy Mindset Poetry books are available on Amazon or via jacejacobs.com. Jace enjoys helping cool souls raise their vibrational state so they can experience more confidence and clarity in their life.Appreciate Everything ~ Love Fully ~ Need Nothing#HappyMindsetPoetryVisit the social media links below for video performances of spoken word rhyming happy mindset poetry. https://www.facebook.com/jacewjacobs/ https://www.youtube.com/jacejacobs https://www.instagram.com/jacejacobs https://twitter.com/jacejacobs
Written By Sherry Parks When I was a little girl, my dad worked as Assistant Superintendent at a State Park in West Virginia. I remember every year they had an Easter egg hunt for the community, and staff kids were allowed to participate. Mom and Dad would bring my sister and me over, all dressed up fancy in our matching dresses. I can remember feeling so excited to find eggs. I had the inside track and knew that some eggs actually had money in them. I imagined myself finding so many eggs and having delicious candy as well as money prizes for my efforts. Alas, when we arrived and I saw all the other kids, I immediately got overwhelmed and scared. Literally, I was petrified of all those other noisy, rambunctious, excited kids. Even my brave older sister would shy away from all the clamor. We were so intimidated, that we held back from joining in and as a result, we couldn’t find many eggs. And certainly, we didn’t get the big prize of eggs with money. In fact, we didn’t get candy either. I often wonder how different my life would be if I had been braver. What if I had been raised by parents that pushed me out of my comfort zone more?What if my parents had encouraged me to join in the clamor, rather than admonishing me to be quiet and seek adult permission for everything? Honestly, I don’t blame my parents. I am just curious about these things. Remembering those missed opportunities as a child, I also think about all the other ways I’ve let fear and my comfort zone stop me over the years. Things like: Stopping myself from going all in on a relationship – If I had let down my walls, would I have a steadfast life partner at this point? Staying in West Virginia for college then working – If I had moved away sooner, would I have achieved more success and joy? Holding back from talking to strangers – If I embraced the uncomfortable and started conversations with strangers, would I have more success in my business right now?
I’ll never know the answers to these questions. And I do know that any time I push past the fear and discomfort, amazing things happen. Like moving to Florida and feeling my soul sing because it felt like home. Like speaking my vulnerable truth in front of a group, and creating connection and friends for life. Like admitting I failed the CPA exam and agreeing to study more, so that I could finally pass and have those letters after my name. All throughout my life, I see examples like these and know that discomfort isn’t always the enemy. I also see growth in this area of my life, and also room for more. Here are a few things that help me get in there and do more scary, uncomfortable things. Feel Good First – This one I learned from Dana Wilde. She says that if we take action from a place of feeling good, we are not only more likely to take action; we’ll likely do more and better action steps. Learning skills that move you away from the negative and into more positive emotions will serve in all areas of life. Here are a few ideas to get you started: Take nature walk Work on a favorite hobby Have a 2-minute dance party Listen to your favorite, uplifting song Whatever you choose, take action after you start to feel those endorphins boosting your mood. Overcoming the discomfort and fear is much easier then, I promise.
Take Baby Steps – As they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Tiny, consistent actions lead to big results. No matter what the big, scary goal is – there are always small steps to achieve it. I find that if I can identify one, tiny first step and then take that step it gets so much easier. And then look for the next step and then the next step and so on. Instead of putting my focus on the big goal and getting overwhelmed, one tiny step feels better. It feels doable and so much less uncomfortable. Acknowledge the Fear – Fear and discomfort are there for a reason --it’s our ego trying to keep us safe and out of harm's way. And, it is helpful to acknowledge that we have fear. To see it, to give it a voice, and allow it to speak. This gives it space to breathe. And often it will lose its power over us and it becomes more manageable. Another thing I find helpful is to thank it and tell it that I’m choosing to ignore it --- for now. Somehow, knowing I can jump back into comfort at any time is helpful. Either way, pushing down the fear and feelings of discomfort doesn’t help. It just keeps us stuck. So, give it some space and see what happens.
It Takes as Long as it Takes – I don’t know about you, but I often get impatient with myself. I want to reach the goal, overcome the fear, and feel good in the uncomfortable places yesterday! And life just isn’t like that. It’s a journey. Sometimes things move fast. Sometimes they move slowly. Sometimes they even move so slowly that you can’t even see the movement. And it’s all okay. Learning to slow down, accept what is, and still keep going – this is the key. One step at a time, even if there are three back steps, just keep going. It’s not a failure, at least not in the negative sense. It is part of the process though. And it’s okay if your journey is slower than someone else. It’s okay if your goal takes five years instead of one. It’s even okay if your goal changes along the way. It’s all for learning and it’s all for good. So. allow yourself to get into the things that feel like intimidating, clamorous, monsters – you just might find that magic happens on the other side.
Sherry Parks, CPA, is a Life & Money Mindset Coach who helps women escape feeling trapped by their finances. She is passionate about helping women change their mindsets, emotions, and actions regarding money so that they learn to keep what they have and generate more. Check out her 5 Steps to a Better Money Story workbook or join her women-only Facebook group More Than Enough Money Sisterhood. https://mailchi.mp/0ba1f1d8913a/money-workbook
HEALTH AND WELLNESS TIPS Creating Habits And Routines
Did you know that it can take anywhere from 18 - 250 days to establish a new routine, and the average time it takes for someone to turn a behavior into an automatic process is 66 days? Put into perspective, it makes sense why it can be so hard to create new habits for ourselves. It doesn’t happen overnight! A habit or routine can either help us or hinder us from reaching our goals. Many of us give up new ‘healthy’ behaviors because we don’t see results quickly enough or don’t have the right support system in place.
Exercise routine - If you are new to exercising, check with your doctor and start in small increments. Start with 20 minutes, 3-5 days a week doing something that you enjoy (like walking, hiking, biking, yoga, dancing, etc.), slowly adding in more time and intensity once your new habit is in place. Mix things up enough so you don’t get bored. Walk different routes (and/or vary the difficulty levels) and enjoy your favorite music or podcasts to help pass the time more quickly. Practicing gratitude - Gratitude is an important habit to start forming too. Being thankful and appreciative of the things you are surrounded by creates a more positive outlook on your life. You can start a gratitude journal and write down the 5 things you are grateful for every day before going to bed. Self-care - Self-care is designed to improve the quality of your life and reduce stress. List out your top 2-3 stressors and then the activity or new habit you can form to help minimize the impact of stress on your life. This is your self-care routine, so make sure you check in with it daily: _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________ _________________________________________
Meditation - is another form of self-care and stress reduction. It can be a hard habit to form at first because most of us struggle to slow down or stop and focus inward. To make meditation a habit you can stick to, it’s important to start slow: Days 1-5, start with 1 minute/day. Days 6-12, increase to 3 minutes/day. Days 13- 19, increase to 5 minutes/day. Days 19-30, increase to 7 minutes/day, then 10 minutes when you feel ready. Add more time as desired. You can download an app such as Headspace or Calm that guides you through meditations to make it easier. What is one new routine you can commit to this week? Write it down in your journal and come up with an action plan to make it happen.
What's
COOKING
Springtime Salad Ingredients 4- 5 cups of spring baby lettuce mix 8 fresh asparagus spears 1 clementine orange peeled 1/2 avocado - cut into small slices 1/4 cup of pitted Kalamata olives - halved 1/4 cup dried cranberries Salad Dressing: 1/2 cup EVOO 1/8 cup balsamic vinegar 1/2 fresh lemon juiced 1 Tbsp honey 1 garlic clove minced S and P
Directions Roast or sauté the asparagus in olive oil until slightly charred and semi-soft. Chop into bite-size pieces. Cut the clementine wedges in half and discard any seeds. Mix all of the salad ingredients together. Mix the salad dressing ingredients in a jar and shake well. Just before serving toss the salad with the dressing.
Notes Spring is here! This is an easy springtime salad and quick to make. All ingredients are adjustable. Organic is better. I like to serve this salad in individual bowls or a large shallow bowl. Makes a wonderful lunch with egg salad sandwiches and herbal ice tea. Enjoy!
BACON-WRAPPED PUMPKIN Ingredients 1 1/2 lbs Butternut Squash (or Pumpkin. Peeled, seeded and cut into 2" chunks.) 1 tsp Ground Ginger 1 tsp Cinnamon 1 tsp Rosemary (chopped, fresh) 2 tbsps Extra Virgin Olive Oil 1 tbsp Maple Syrup 10 slices of Organic Bacon or Turkey Bacon
Directions Preheat oven to 350F. Place a wire rack (e.g., cooling rack, roasting rack) in a rimmed baking sheet (line your baking sheet with foil to make clean up easier if desired). Toss pumpkin chunks with spices, olive oil, maple syrup, and walnuts in a mixing bowl. Cut bacon slices in half. Wrap each spiced pumpkin chunk in a half slice of bacon, making sure to have a few walnut pieces wrapped inside the bacon too. You can place them on the wire rack oriented so that the ends of the bacon slice are on the bottom (this stops them from unraveling while cooking). Repeat with every piece of pumpkin. Using a spoon, drizzle any remaining spice mixture and walnut pieces from the bottom of your mixing bowl over the top of each bacon-wrapped spiced pumpkin chunk. Bake for 40 minutes. Optional: for crispier bacon, broil on high for 2-3 minutes after baking. Remove from oven and serve! Serving suggestion: drizzle a few drops of maple syrup over each bacon-wrapped spiced pumpkin chunk!
" "Sweet April showers do bring May flowers." - Thomas Tusser