Live Love and Eat

LIVE LOVE AND EAT Heal t h | Wellbeing| Nutrition

ISSUE 67|OCTOBER 2021/ ISSN 2689-7741

50 FUN WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS THIS FALL Name it and claim it

MAKE YOUR HOME AND COMMUNITY A BETTER PLACE WITH YOUR OWN GARDEN The Divorced Woman’s Guide™...noticing the mental health impact of divorce on kids Fall prevention and multifidus muscle Fall back into October What's going on in the sky?

SOMETIMES IT' S OKAY TO BE A CONTROL FREAK Is perfectionism keeping you stuck from having the money for your dreams?

Meet our Spotlight

Sarah Joy Lohman

MINDSET SHIFTS TO HELP YOU REACH YOUR HEALTH GOALS

How to find your set point weight?

Cozy Living

LIVE LOVE AND EAT

CONTENTS 59

THE DIVORCED WOMAN’S GUIDE™ TO NOTICING THE MENTAL HEALTH IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON KIDS

HEALTH & NUTRITION & WELLBEING

03 EDITOR'S NOTE 04 MEET THE CONTRIBUTORS 12 MINDSET SHIFTS TO HELP YOUR REACH YOUR HEALTH GOALS

17 MAKE YOUR HOME AND

COMMUNITY A BETTER PLACE WITH YOUR OWN GARDEN

20 HOW TO FIND YOUR SET POINT WEIGHT?

35

EXCLUSIVE!

50 FUN WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS THIS FALL

27 FALL PREVENTION AND MULTIFIDUS

08

MUSCLE

31 FALL BACK INTO OCTOBER.

WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE SKY?

MEET OUR SPOTLIGHT

COZY LIVING. A BOOK REVIEW

Sarah Joy Lohman. Read all about what wonderful work she is doing in the world

Copyright © 2021 Bernadine Otto. All rights reserved.

Published by Live Love and Eat

CONTROL FREAK

53 IS PERFECTIONISM KEEPING

YOU STUCK FROM HAVING THE MONEY FOR YOUR DREAMS?

62 NAME IT AND CLAIM IT 4497 WYNDTREE DRIVE, WEST CHESTER, OHIO, 45069 513 2758081 BERNADINE@LIVELOVEANDEATMAGAZINE.COM WWW.LIVELOVEANDEATMAGAZINE.COM

OCTOBER 2021 | ISSUE 67

70

50 SOMETIMES IT'S OKAY TO BE A

CONTACT US LIVE LOVE AND EAT 4497 Wyndtree Drive #212 West Chester Ohio 45069 513 2758081 bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com www.liveloveandeatmagazine.com

NOTE FROM EDITOR New Stories, New writers It is the Month of October Fall is finally here. Leaves falling and changing colors, pumpkins, comfort foods, and don't forget Halloween. This is my favorite season, I love to go for long walks and see the changing of the leaves and really tune in with myself.

I am always ready to feel that change or maybe you are somewhere else in the world and you are experiencing Spring.

EDITORIAL BERNADINE OTTO Editor-In-Chief

SUBSCRIPTIONS SUBSCRIBE ONLINE https://www.liveloveandeatmagazine.co m/order-your-copy

This month is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Breast Cancer prevention does start with healthy habits and healthy eating. Lifestyle changes have been shown in studies to decrease breast cancer risk even in high-risk women.

In this issue, we have amazing articles. If it is your health, fitness, or goals we have you covered. Be sure to check out our recipe section for healthy Fall recipes.

Be sure to catch up with episodes on our podcast. The Live Love and Eat Show. New episodes coming soon.

Kick back, relax and soak up some quality time with Live Love and Eat Enjoy the month of October!

We hope that you enjoy this issue.

BERNADINE OTTO Editor-In-Chief

https://organicbasics.pxf.io/c/2699575/1015321/12803

MEET OUR CONTRIBUTORS 4497 Wyndtree Drive , West Chester 45069 513 275 8081 | bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com

Managing Editor Bernadine Otto Contributor Wendy Sterling Contributor Jace Jacobs

Bernadine

Otto

Wendy Sterling

Lori Booty

Kim Klein

Jace Jacobs

Victoria Kleinsman

Contributor Victoria Kleinsman

Contributor Lori Booty Contributor

Contributor

Contributor

Contributor

Kim Klein Skylar Snow Poetry

Skylar Snow Poetry

Judy Brown

Linda Watson

Sherry Parks

Judy Brown Linda Watson

Contributor Sherry Parks Contributor Ana Vucetic

Debra Letchworth

Tracy Markley

Ana Vucetic

Leslie Campos

Contributor Leslie Campos Contributor Tracy Markley Spotlight Sarah Joy Lohman Recipes Bernadine Otto Debra Letchworth

Sarah Joy Lohman

ADVERTISE IN LIVE LOVE AND EAT Email: bernadine@liveloveandeatmagazine.com

WORLD VEGETARIAN DAY World Vegetarian Day is celebrated on the 1st. Around 10% of the world's population is vegetarian, and more people are making changes in their lifestyle in order to be more sustainable and healthy, and eat less meat.

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH October is breast cancer awareness month.

World Smile day is celebrated on the first Friday of October. It is a day to remember to smile, feel good, and do acts of kindness for others and yourself. So forget all about your worries and differences, and dedicate this whole day to smile and be happy!

HALLOWEEN Halloween is celebrated on the 31st of October.

Health & wellness tips Health & nutrition & wellbeing

T O

Y O U R

H E A L T H

From eating the right food to the perfect exercise routine, find the best path to a healthier and happier you.

and Wellness Have a daily green smoothie Green smoothies as a snack or simple, on-the-go breakfast is an easy way to get your greens in each day.

Check your Vitamin C Vitamin C is an antioxidant that helps protect your cells against the effects of free radicals It’s water-soluble and found in many fruits and vegetables, including oranges, strawberries, kiwi fruit, bell peppers, broccoli, kale, and spinach.

Hello Butternut Butternut squash is rich in vitamins, minerals, and disease-fighting antioxidants.

This low-calorie, fiber-rich winter squash may help you lose weight and protect against conditions like cancer, heart disease, and mental decline. Plus, it's versatile and easily added to both sweet and savory dishes

SARAH JOY LOHMAN Certified Transformational Nutrition Coach

''Be kind, loving, and patient with yourself. Like so much in life, you have to start at the bottom and work your way up, so don’t beat yourself up for not getting a bazillion clients right away.

The know, like, and trust factors are real. ''

Sarah lives in beautiful San Diego with her two amazing kids daughter Ashley and son Tyler.

You can learn more about Sarah here: E-mail: coachsarahjoy1@gmail.com Website: Coachsarahjoy.com

How did you get started in your career? In What Year?

Since overcoming my own personal struggles with Hashimoto’s and Hypothyroidism in 2018 I decided to become a thyroid coach because there is no real support system in place anywhere for women who are struggling with thyroid symptoms, so I decided I would be that support. Because I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism in my late twenties and Hashimotos in my early thirties. This illness ruined every aspect of my life and left me feeling like a shell of a person. Since I understand firsthand how damaging a thyroid illness can be not only physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well, this is why I’ve made it my mission to do my part to try to help and support other women in the same circumstances.

My main focus is to help the women of this world since 20 million and counting is affected by thyroid problems daily. I focus on women because I also know how hard it is to be expected to care and provide for a family when you can barely care and provide for yourself. Thyroid illness makes women feel isolated and alone, which can quickly spiral into anxiety and depression, and most women are belittled and torn down by their own friends and family members over their conditions. This is yet another reason why I decided to become that support system.

Who or what has been your greatest professional inspiration and why?

Before I even knew that The Institute Of Transformational Nutrition existed I listened to Cynthia Garcia on The Model Health Show podcast. That woman’s life story took my breath away. After overcoming so much adversity in her life to now being the owner of an incredible school and celebrity coach, I love and admire her and often think to myself when having doubts, if she can do it, I can do it.

What advice would you offer to someone starting out in your industry?

Be kind, loving, and patient with yourself. Like so much in life, you have to start at the bottom and work your way up, so don’t beat yourself up for not getting a bazillion clients right away. The know, like, and trust factors are real.

What professional challenges have you faced that have contributed to your overall success?

At the beginning of my journey, I excitedly started my first Thyroid Sisterhood FB group. Sadly, due to heavy censorship, Facebook slowly shut me down. First, they took away my ability to go live, then I couldn’t post at all or even leave a comment. This slow died off went on until I had to archive the group.

This made me focus on building my Instagram and Tiktoc accounts.

I have had some videos go viral that has brought help and knowledge to women inside the thyroid community and for that, I am so thankful Are there any specific contributions, you have made in your field which contributed to your success? (i.e. inventions/patents. Books authored or co-authored, etc.)

Yes, I was inspired to start a podcast called Thursday Thyroid Talks. This series is my way of giving back to the thyroid community in order to help combat the loneliness and isolation that so many women feel daily.

What do you do in your free time (volunteer, work, hobbies, etc.)

I'm such a girl! Lol, I love to go shopping, out to lunch with my friends and enjoy the beaches and concerts on the weekends. But during the week I enjoy peaceful sunset meditations, morning journaling, stretching with deep breathing, and meditations.

What would you like readers to know about you and why?

I was born in 1979 and was an 80's kid to the max. My first favorite song ever was Def Leppard, Pour Some Sugar On Me. I heard it on the radio and totally fell in love. I also loved Strawberry Short Cake, The Smurfs, Sesame Street, and The Goonies. I wore jelly sandals and jelly bracelets on both of my arms from wrists to elbows. I still have my collection of garbage pail kids, goonies and Where’s the beef collector cards and stickers. In 8th-grade, Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle album changed my life forever. That’s when I fell in love with gangster rap I still love the era of music and rock out to it often.

What is your favorite quote and why?

I love the quote, “You are not, crazy, lazy, weak or defective” by Anthony Williams

What 3 tips will you give someone who is struggling to live healthy?

Look at fruits, vegetables, and greens as medicine, and sugary, processed, or fast food as poison, this helps you decide what to eat much easier.

Always build in self-care, rest, and recovery time into your day and week. Ladies, stop putting yourself last or not at all, this leads to resentment, anger, and ill-health.

I don't recommend you waste your time and energy counting calories in and calories out. Instead focus on eating a clean organic whole-food-based diet high in fruits, veggies, and greens and let all of that ext

What kind of legacy would you like to leave the world?

I would like for my friends, family, and followers to be able to say that I made a big difference in the thyroid community and helped hundreds if not thousands of women feel happier and healthier

Mindset shifts to help you reach your health goals

By Ana Vucetic

As you all know by now, I talk a lot about being in the right mindset in order to reach any health goal, including weight loss. You can try any diet you want, but shifting your mindset about weight loss is key to losing weight. If you have been on some type of diet for decades you know you can lose weight.

It’s science after all.

However, keeping it off is a challenge.

Living your life free of dieting and keeping the weight off is a challenge. In my opinion, the issue is that physical health for most people is separated from their mental health. And it’s not. It is heavily intertwined, and the more you think about it, it’s having the right mindset that will change your physical health. How you think, feel, experience the diet and weight loss is as important as the diet itself.

For most people, mindset is completely excluded from weight loss as if what you think and tell yourself doesn’t affect your progress. People become obsessed with counting calories, counting macros, measuring their body parts called “trouble parts” daily, and obsessing over the number on the scale. They think about the number on the scale as the end goal rather than focusing on health, disease prevention, having more energy, better sleep, digestion, and soon.

Along with this, negative thoughts shape the way we behave. Saying “I am fat, I will never lose weight” will actually make you less eager to exercise or eat healthy because you are convinced yourself it won’t happen for you. If you think you are not worthy, not disciplined enough, not ready enough…. your emotions linked to these thoughts will be negative and therefore your behavior will follow in the same direction.

Luckily our mind is very flexible and here are some ways how changing the mindset can help you reach your health goals:

SWITCH THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR GOALS People focus on the number on the scale, on the weight loss but it would be easier if you focused on creating healthier habits: eating vegetables, lean protein, healthy fats, ditching the soda, sleeping better. The diet culture keeps telling us to do something less: less carbs, less fat, less calories. I think we should focus more on more healthy foods, more sleep, more movement, and overall more meaningful relationships that actually deeply impact our health goals(on that some other time).

Personally, if I catch myself gaining weight I know it came from either being stressed out, sleep-deprived, and not planning my meals accordingly. I try immediately to switch to my habits and the weight comes back to where it was. It’s a natural response to the body in a properly rested and fed state.

Your body’s weight is not comfortable going up and down and it wants to stay steady so usually, for me, it’s about looking at the big picture and seeing what am I missing: was I stressed, bored, emotional, in a hurry, or was I just numbing myself with food. Once I figure this out, I go back to normal eating and the balance comes back.

THINK LONG-TERM This is a big one!

Most people want to lose weight for an event or get bikini ready for the summer. In order to achieve that they usually heavily restrict, over-exercise to be “ready”. Because they restrict so much, it is obvious that they will binge later on and put back the weight on. In order to lose weight for the long haul, you should focus on creating healthier habits and keeping that routing going rather than shocking your body for several weeks with severe dieting. The reason why you want to lose weight has to be more than fitting into a pair of jeans or getting ready for an event because guess what that event will pass and then what? You will gain it back! The reason why you want to lose weight has to have more meaning like being able to play with your kids, lowering your blood pressure or blood sugar numbers, etc… The “why” has to be so strong that you can use it in your own pep talk whenever the road gets tough.

START SMALL If you are trying to reach certain health goals, start small. It is a bad idea that you try to remove all the sugar, the gluten, the baked goods, and the alcohol, all at once plus exercise daily…be sure it won’t happen for more than a week or so.

You will burn out and highly likely throw in the towel.

Start slow with one habit at a time: each week remove one “bad” habit and include a new healthier one.

THERE ARE NO GOOD AND BAD FOODS, DITCH THE ALL-OR-NOTHING MENTALITY The easiest way to create a bad relationship with food is to label food as good or bad. Give yourself permission to eat the food from your forbidden list because that is the only sustainable way to keep your weight off.

You can’t constantly be dieting and trying to remove the foods you want to eat. Try to eat according to the 80/20 principle (80% of the time or day clean, and 20% treats such as cake, a glass of wine, pizza…). Food is just food, not a reward not a punishment, not good nor bad. The more you allow yourself to eat these so-called “bad” foods the less you will crave them.

You won’t need to remove them from your pantry, you don’t need to avoid social events where there will be food other than the ones you eat.

You need to find a sustainable way how to eat for the rest of your life and keep the weight off. How do you do that?

Make a list of all the foods you enjoy to eat and I mean all of them and then start combining the more and less nutritious ones so that your body is satisfied with very diverse nutritious foods but your soul as well.

The more you do this exercise the more your mind will be at peace that no food is off limit and you will be able to say yes or no to your favorite foods as you are pleased.

LISTEN YOUR THOUGHTS CAREFULLY The moment you catch yourself bashing your body, pinching your “trouble body parts”, obsessively looking in the mirror for any changes, or saying negative things, stop. Say it loud and replace it immediately with a healthier one.

“I can't lose weight, I am fat” becomes “I am worthy, I am on a journey, I can do this”. Your thoughts influence your emotions. Your emotions translate into behavior. If you hate something (emotion) do you think you will be in the right headpiece to act positively? Of course not.

So if you hate your body there is no chance you will use this hatred to lose weight. On the contrary, if you say that you love your body, that you are grateful for it, and want to improve your health, then your behavior becomes more positive with a healthier outlook.

Talk to yourself like you would talk to a family member or to a friend.

Ana Vucetic is a Psychologist, Certified Wellness Coach, Founder of “Balanced by Ana” and mother of 2 beautiful boys.

Driven by her own health struggles – Ana now is on a mission to help women feel comfortable in their bodies and stop the endless dieting cycles. She helps achieve a balanced approach to life and wellness by helping cleaning your emotional pantry, not kitchen’s! Ana believes that a balanced life is not just about the food we eat and how we move, how many hours in a week we put into our fitness routines and meal preparation - It is also how we process stress, how we manage relationships, how we balance our hormones for optimal functioning as well as knowing your own body and the signals it gives you. https://www.balancedbyana.com/ https://www.facebook.com/balancedbyana https://www.instagram.com/balancedbyana/ Email: balance@balancedbyana.com

Make Your Home and Community a Better Place With Your Own Garden

By Leslie Campos

For most people, a garden is a lovely space where one can appreciate the beauty of nature. But the fact is, it can be so much more than that. In fact, having your own garden has the potential to single-handedly sustain you and your family, and you can even help out your community. It goes without saying that the world would be a better place if there were more gardens, and so would your home. Live Love Eat Magazine invites you to explore the nitty-gritty of how you can start yours and what’s really in it for you.

Your Garden A garden can be a truly beneficial addition to your home, but only if it’s executed right. It’s important, therefore, to start by learning the fundamentals of gardening and then learning as you go along. This way, you not only create the garden of your dreams but make the most out of it, too.

There’s more to growing a successful garden than just sticking plants into the soil, so learn home gardening tips for starters.

Choosing the right vegetables to grow requires a great deal of thought and consideration, too.

Planting is really just half the battle; keeping a healthy garden is the other.

Research fence companies in your area to help you build a barrier around your garden to protect it from any uninvited guests.

Finally, you’ll want to harvest your vegetables appropriately to ensure that they’re fit for consumption.

Your Home and Family Ideally, your garden should be able to serve your family in more ways than one, so it’s definitely important to keep this as an objective as you start to grow it. From yields of fresh and healthy vegetables to the many benefits of gardening itself, know what you and your family can look forward to.

Having a great lineup of delicious vegetable recipes ensures that your harvest is not only put to good use but also savored to the fullest.

There are many reasons why you should eat more produce like fruits and vegetables, and having your own garden will guarantee that you do so regularly.

As a bonus, making gardening a family affair can have massive benefits for overall wellness.

Your Community It’s wonderful to note that growing food in your garden can actually serve your community at large, too. So take the opportunity and the initiative to contribute your garden’s bounty to help those who are most in need.

Sharing your harvest is a wonderful way to show those who are most in need in your community that you care, plus it minimizes food waste.

It’s also a way to set an example for your children who should learn that feeding the hungry is everyone’s responsibility.

You can also donate fresh produce and preserves to your local food banks, food pantries, and soup kitchens.

Needless to say, growing a garden will add untold value to your home and community, as well as do so much in preserving various people’s health, in and out of your home. So if you’ve ever had half a mind to start a garden, now is the perfect time to bring it to life.

Leslie Campos created Wellparents.com to offer help and resources to busy parents who want to stay healthy and active. She loves to practice yoga, CrossFit and watch The Great British Baking show when not working or running her children to various after school activities

How to find your set point weight?

BY VICTORIA KLEINSMAN

The fear of giving up control Let’s address the elephant in the room shall we… giving up dieting is scary! We immediately think that the moment we give up all aspects of control, we’re going to eat copious amounts of chocolate forever, get fatter and fatter, and either pop or die alone…

I get it I’ve been there…

We are so used to structure, control, routine, and wanting something or someone outside of ourselves to tell us what to do that giving up dieting can send us into what feels like an anxiety sh*t storm!

But the ONLY way to build a relationship with your body, feel normal around food, and find your body’s natural set point weight is to do the work that I teach:

Give up dieting, weighing yourself and your food Unlearn your conditioning Release limiting beliefs and embodying empowering ones Practice intuitive eating Explore new ways to comfort yourself alongside food Expand your capacity to experience pleasure and abundance Lots of body image work Lots of self-love work Taking daily action as the free, self-loving version of you When you fully devote yourself to this journey, your body will naturally find its set point weight.

What does setpoint weight mean?

Your body’s natural set point weight is the weight/size your body naturally wants to be – not what you want it to be…

It’s worth reminding you that your body wants to be healthy and to feel good so if you get out of the way and start trusting it, you will experience a sense of freedom, ease, and grace as you and your body become a team.

Your set point weight naturally happens when you stop trying to control your weight, when you learn how to practice tuning into your body and following its guidance on what and how much to eat.

You will start craving exercise and salad when you stop making them feel like punishment.

FYI, your body is the wisest creation in the universe, it knows what it’s doing…!

Even though we’ve been taught since birth that we can’t trust our own appetite.

Built-in thermostat Your brain has a built-in regulator that regulates how much body fat you have.

It’s helpful to see it as a thermostat in a room that is connected to the heating and air-conditioning system. When the room gets colder than the set temperature, the heater kicks in to take the temperature back up.

When the room gets warmer, the aircon kicks in to bring it back down to the desired temperature.

This is what the regulator does in your brain with the amount of body fat you have. Your natural set point weight is entirely based on your genetics and your dieting history.

Your brain will do everything it can to keep your body fat at a certain level.

What happens when you diet?

When you go on a diet you are fighting against your own biology. Even if you muster up enough “willpower” to ignore your body’s hunger signals for a long period of time, biology will eventually win.

It’s not only about the hunger… when your body sends signals to the part of your brain that regulates your body fat and tells it “hey we’re losing fat cells over here”, your brain will biologically change your hormones so that you are driven to eat… and the more you ignore that drive to eat, the more your biology will drive you to eat high-fat high sugar foods. Is this helping you to make sense of your behaviors now…?

What actually happens is: Your leptin levels decrease – these are your satiety hormones – the feeling of being satisfied with what you’ve eaten.

Your ghrelin levels increase – these are your hunger hormones.

And because your biology only cares about your survival – and also hasn’t adapted to our modern way of living with an abundance of food available at our fingertips – it will overcompensate for the fat loss.

It will think that you are experiencing a famine and so in order to protect your survival it will do these 2 things: Drive you to go and find food NOW, especially high-fat high sugar food because that will fill your fat stores back up easier.

When you do eat, it will store more fat than you had before in order to protect you from the next famine.

It also drives weight re-gain for up to a year after a period of restriction!

Can you see now why dieting is the best way to gain weight over time?

The ONLY way to break this cycle of yo-yo dieting is to show your body that it can trust that there is always enough food around. This INCLUDES how you think. If you’re constantly thinking that you need to restrict, even if you don’t actually physically restrict, your biology will still react in exactly the same way as if you were physically restricting! Again, this is to protect you from an upcoming famine.

Only when your body knows there will always be enough food available and there is no threat of an impending restriction, will your body stop overcompensating (by driving you to eat and then storing extra fat reserves) and effortlessly fall back to its natural set point weight.

The problem is we interfere ALL. THE. TIME. because we are all so fat phobic. We are petrified of gaining weight or staying the same size because of what we make “fat” mean. So therefore we spend a lifetime trying to manipulate our bodies to look a certain way or be a certain size. And we wonder why we can’t do it! That’s why what I teach is SO crucial if you want to feel normal around food and effortlessly stay the same weight. A weight that you will be able to be happy with if you decide to embark on this food and body freedom journey with my support.

Do a brainstorm on the word fat and I guarantee you’ll write down words such as: lazy unhealthy unfit undesirable unattractive Etc I want you to challenge those. Is it really true that if you’re considered fat – by the way what does that even mean…?!

When is the word fat appropriate to use…?! What imaginary line has someone got to cross in order to be classified as fat…

– where was I… is it really true that if you’re considered fat then you’re automatically lazy, unhealthy, unfit, undesirable, and unattractive?

If you were born on a desert island with no media and social conditioning, you wouldn’t even know what the word fat and thin meant.

As a reminder, truth is something that is true for all people all of the time, like gravity or the law of attraction – it’s physics.

Anything else, no matter how true it feels, is not the truth, it’s simply a belief. And the word belief has the word lie in it…

You literally get to choose what you want to believe. If you choose to believe things that empower you to live your best life, full of freedom, liberation, and bursting with self-love, then why wouldn’t you…?

What happens when you “overeat”?

I’ve used the word “overeat” in quotes because that’s the language that you will most likely use often but I don’t think it is helpful language. Saying that you have “overeaten” indicates that there is an imaginary line of some sort that isn’t ok and you’ve crossed that. There is a negative judgment there and this causes guilt to creep in.

But I will use the word “overeat” in this context so that it makes sense for you but in an ideal world, I would swap the word “overeat” to “eaten past physical and emotional satisfaction.”

Ok then so… we know what happens when we are constantly flittering between dieting and binging, as I have just explained above. But what happens when we have proven to our body that there is indeed enough to eat and that it can trust you and your environment to be nourished (including no mental restriction) and then we go and “overeat”?

Well, your body still wants to remain at its ideal set point weight so it will do everything in its power to do so. Such as increase your metabolism, send you signals to move more, decrease hunger hormones and raise satiety hormones.

That’s how those people who have never dieted before and eat what they want, stay the same size their whole lives.

Because if these people are at their set point weight, their body doesn’t want to get bigger. Or smaller. The same goes for you too.

Again, it comes down to trusting your body to do whatever it wants to do. As I’ve said previously, your genetics is the biggest factor that determines your set point weight and after that, your dieting history. If you’ve been dieting (and binging) for many years, your set point weight may have risen due to your body wanting to protect you from the constant restriction and impending restriction (thinking about dieting) Your body sees restriction as a famine…aka – literally there is no food to eat and you might die.

Now I know that you’re most likely panicking because you’re thinking that you’ve caused your set point weight to be higher than it was due to all of the dieting and binging you’ve done…

Don’t panic my love…

There is no point whatsoever in trying to figure out if your chronic dieting has caused your set point weight to rise. So take a deep breath, know that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in this messy and magical journey called life, and from this moment on, choose to work with your body, not against it.

Can your set point weight change?

Before I go into how you can find your set point weight, I would like to address this question. “can you set point weight change?”

Apart from what I’ve previously discussed – that chronic dieting can possibly raise your set point weight – there are some factors that can have an effect on your set point weight.

Aging women As women, as we age our hormones change, and that may cause our bodies to slowly change over time. There is no point in fighting this or wishing it didn’t happen. It is all part of nature and it is supposed to happen. All we can do is accept and embrace any changes, visit our body image and self-love toolbox daily and continue to build and deepen our relationship with our bodies. Alongside everything I am going to share with you in a moment when I get into “How to find your set point.”

Weight training If you develop a love for fitness and/or weight training, your natural set point weight can change slightly because you will build more muscle tissue. Muscle weighs heavier than the same volume of fat.

Weight training If you develop a love for fitness and/or weight training, your natural set point weight can change slightly because you will build more muscle tissue. Muscle weighs heavier than the same volume of fat.

Your environment and lifestyle Consider comparing these 2 different environments and lifestyles: A 43-year-old mum of 3 who works in a chocolate factory. She loves to eat the free chocolate available at work and her only form of movement is to walk from her car to the factory.

A 24-year-old single personal trainer who loves to exercise regularly. She lives with a health-conscious friend who does all the food shopping.

Each environment and lifestyle is considerably different. But each person is considerably different too.

There is a reason why one person is working in a chocolate factory and the other loves to exercise. It’s who they have chosen to be in this lifetime and their upbringing, genetics, conditioning, and life experiences will of had a huge effect on their life choices.

That’s why you should never compare yourself to anyone else. Because you are you and they are them. And you’re not supposed to be them, you’re supposed to be YOU!

Victoria is a Certified Transformational Coach specialized in helping women to feel “normal” around food, actually like their body & fall madly in love with themselves! She is a coach, mentor, speaker, and writer; working with women from all around the globe, speaking at worldwide events and is a writer for Live Love And Eat Magazine. Victoria is also club President of The Netherlands for the Global Empowerment Woman Summit - a powerful global movement connecting and training female entrepreneurs. Victoria has lived with eating disorders and body hate for over 20 years. (she was diagnosed with Anorexia in her early teens and then Binge Eating Disorder and Bulimia in her early twenties). Victoria has alchemized her pain into her power and passion! Through her own personal experiences, education, certification, and countless hours spent on personal development, she holds the skills, knowledge, and empathy to guide and support you to food freedom whilst building a loving relationship with yourself and your body.

Victoria has profoundly helped many women around the world to transform their lives and she knows the importance and value of constantly investing in and improving herself in order to serve her clients powerfully. Her goal is to inspire millions of women from all around the world to fall madly in love with themselves. https://www.victoriakleinsman.com/ info@victoriakleinsman.com https://www.facebook.com/victoriakleinsman https://www.instagram.com/victoriakleinsman/ Podcast: https://anchor.fm/victoria-kleinsman “Break Free From Binge Eating - With Victoria Kleinsman” on any podcast platform.

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1g1H40rbSQ6Trmcha59kDg Free access to the first modules of my paid Food & Body Freedom Queen Program: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-access-to-first-few.../

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Fall prevention and multifidus muscle

BY TRACY MARKLEY

October is a month of the Fall season. I thought I would make a play on words with the word “Fall” for this month and write about fall prevention.

One-third of falls are people 65 years of age and older. A large reason for falls is because people lose their spatial awareness. Spatial Awareness is subconsciously knowing where your limbs are in space. For example, if you walk into a room and you see a book on the floor you need to step over, your brain calculates and communicates with the center of the body to stabilize the body. It communicates to the hips, feet, and legs to automatically know how high to pick up the foot and how far to step out before putting the foot back on the ground to avoid tripping on the book.

Spatial awareness is often lost for many reasons, but often more in older people, those with weakness, those who don’t exercise properly or at all, and those with neurological challenges.

You may notice some older people walking slower and taking smaller steps. Often this is because they do not feel safe in their stepping. They tend to slow down and not lift their feet as high off the ground as they walk.

There is a bundle of muscles that work together to obtain balance, posture, and spatial awareness. Many people are not aware that they have these muscles. I will mention a few in this article, but I wanted to share mainly about one extremely important muscle in the body, the multifidus muscle.

The multifidus is a small but powerful muscle. It is the main stabilizing muscle of the spine. This muscle takes the pressure off the vertebral discs so that the body weight can be distributed throughout the spine.

If this is weak, you will also have weakness in the low back. The multifidus begins to activate before the body moves to protect the spine. It is part of the stabilizing system in the body.

The brain sends a message to the multifidus muscle before the body moves saying “Stabilize the spine.

The arms and legs are going to move.” If this natural function in the body is malfunctioning one will be more unbalanced, uncoordinated, and prone to falls. The multifidus is also one of the muscles in the spine that extends, abducts, adducts, and rotates the spine. In order to gain better balance and retrain spatial awareness to properly function again this muscle must be stronger.

I have specific exercises that are easy but powerful to reprogram the so-called “balancing system”. That is what I like to call it. Performing various exercises properly combining with the Swiss ball, balance disc, and BOSU® ball will help gain a stronger multifidus.

It is also essential to understand that better posture leads to better balance.

To help this sound simpler, when we bend over from the spine (rounding the spine) that is called spinal flexion.

The movement from rounding over to sitting up tall is called Axial Extension When we are pulling the spine from flexed position back up to being upright, this movement spinal extension, also known as Axial Extension. Flexion is when a muscle brings two joints together. The extension is bringing the two joints further apart. For example, when we flex our arm to show our arm muscles (the bicep) as in performing a bicep curl exercise, that is flexion, as you extend the arm back out straight, that is an extension.

The small muscles near the vertebrae need to be activated harmoniously. These muscles play an essential role to participate as part of the postural muscles. Exercising properly on an unstable surface, such as the Swiss ball, balance disc, balance pads, and the BOSU® ball stimulates the central nervous system, which is the brain and the spinal cord.

This also strengthens muscles and ligaments, as well as activating and strengthening all the small muscles along the spinal column. As I previously mentioned, I like to call that part of the balancing system.

Spinal Flexion

Spinal Extension

Holding onto a bar for safety as one stands tall in posture either on the floor or for more advanced using a BOSU® ball like in the illustration. The deep spinal muscles I share here in this article strengthen better while on a balance pad, disc, or BOSU® ball. Always remember safety first and work at your own physical level.

Here is what makes it a bit more complicated. The multifidus muscle, transverse abdominal muscle, diaphragm and pelvic floor muscles are all on the same neuromuscular loop. Illustration not shown in this article.

This means it is best if all these muscles are functioning properly; each needs to perform its job individually and as a team. Stated a bit more complicated, it means, a sequential segmental neuromuscular stimulation with closed-loop feedback.

If the transverse muscle is weak, the pelvic floor, the multifidus, and the diaphragm cannot gain proper strength to perform their jobs in a healthy, functioning body. And Visa Versa.

Diaphragm not shown in the illustration.

The illustration above shows several deep spinal muscles. All the spinal muscles are considered part of the core muscles. For fall prevention if these deep muscles are weak it will lead to poor posture, unstable hips, dysfunctional spatial awareness, and more.

All leading to having a risk for falls. I find it is important to include exercises that keep these muscles strong at all ages, so when we arrive in our senior years, we don’t become a risk for falls. If you or someone you know are feeling unsafe, unbalanced, or fearful in movements remember this article. Take it with you to a physical therapist or fitness professional. Those professionals that have deepened their knowledge of human movement and muscles may be able to help.

My book Tipping Toward Balance, A Fitness Trainer’s Guide to Stability and Walking goes into more detail and includes exercises as well. Also, my book The Power of Your Spine: How Back Strength and Posture Pilots the Entire Body is another book that teaches the power and essential abilities of the spine that effects all movements, including walking.

Tracy Markley is the owner of Tracy's Personal Training, Pilates & Yoga Studio. She is the author of 9 books. Her work is known for training stroke survivors. She also created the CEC course "Stroke Recovery Training" for the fitness industry. Tracy was one of the IDEA 2020 Personal Trainer of the Year Finalists. She is recognized for her work, books, and helping stroke survivors worldwide.

She is an NFHOF Pro (National Fitness Hall of Fame) Recognized as one of "Today's Top Trainers" in 2019. She believes “Knowledge is Power” and has earned many certifications in the fitness industry. www.tracymarkley.com www.tracyspersonaltraining.com www.amazon.com/author/tracymarkley www.instagram.com/motivate_healthyfit www.facebook.com/tracyfitt www.twitter.com/tracysfitnesshb www.tracys-healthy-365.blogspot.com www.linkedin.com/in/tracymarkleyfit

FALL BACK INTO OCTOBER – WHAT’S GOING ON IN THE SKY?

By Linda Watson

I love the Fall season. The weather is usually glorious, with cooler temperatures, sunny skies, and a riot of color as the leaves begin to make their yearly transition. The oppressive heat of summer is gone, along with any unexpected and powerful storm conditions.

The energy of this period welcomes a slower pace and prepares us for slower energy that occurs when the days are shorter and cooler, and we have less hours of daytime than nighttime. It is the perfect phase to reflect on and strengthen our inner being.

As I look to the sky, there are a few main planetary transits that also seem to be following this storyline. Three of the main planets that had been in retrograde will be going direct within a week of each other, and the New Moon will be in the peace-loving sign of Libra. The Full Moon occurs in the sign of Aries, encouraging us to find balance between our personal needs and wants while taking others needs and wishes into consideration.

The Sun enters the sign of Scorpio on October 23rd, highlighting transformation.

On October 6th, the Libra New Moon is quite a powerful energy. It lines up in close quarters with the Sun, Mercury, and Mars also in Libra. The key to this energy is about finding balance. Every New Moon is a time to envision your future dreams and desires. It is symbolic of new beginnings and the planting of ideas. With all this Libra energy, encourages learning how to cooperate with others, share your goals with others, and discover that you can benefit when you allow the exchange of ideas and experiences. Any relationships you have should be of equal nature and bring insight into how to be balanced, fair, and harmonious as you strive toward new goals. This particular New Moon not only brings fresh and creative energy into our lives but also into our partnerships and relationships.

Following the New Moon, the three planets that will go direct are Pluto, Saturn, and Mercury. These planets coming out of retrograde will enable us to move forward, help us to launch our visions for the future, and allow progress to take place.

During retrograde periods, we are encouraged to reflect, re-evaluate, re-think, and re-do. We are focused on past actions and how we can improve on our existing structures. It is a time where we re-visit old lessons. The purpose of a retrograde is to assess the important things in our life and make any necessary changes. Re-evaluating our personal ambitions, and professional and social decisions, are important during this period so that we can restructure and rebuild the things that are no longer serving us. It is a time when we can slow down and decide if our activities are working in our best interest or if we should change direction. It is a good time to look at our past behavior and relationship with our personal power and see what comes to light.

When the retrograde period of a planet is over and the planet is again in a direct trajectory, this can be a release point for the processes we have been experiencing and working through during the retrograde. It’s a time when clear decisions can be made and past habits, patterns, or less than desirable energies can be resolved.

Pluto is the first planet to station direct on October 7th after being in retrograde since April 27th. This retrograde might have been less noticeable and more subtle than the Mercury and Saturn retrogrades, however, it affected our lives on a psychological level. It provided the capacity for us to transform and renew ourselves since the planet represents our personal power. Hopefully, by the time Pluto begins its direct motion again, you will have experienced the release of any inner issues that were held secret or underground, providing the opportunity to bring these feelings into the light for the purpose of greater personal empowerment and spiritual evolution.

Following closely behind Pluto, is Saturn, stationing direct on October 11th. Saturn had been in retrograde since May 23rd, encouraging us to re-evaluate our personal ambitions and professional and social decisions. The goal during this period was to discover how to restructure and rebuild the things in our life that were no longer serving us. It gave us the opportunity to slow down and decide if and where we should change direction.

Did you feel Saturn testing you during this time? Were you able to push through the challenges that came your way? As Saturn prepares to switch gears and move direct, allow the lessons learned during this time, help you find your way, and steer you on the right path on your journey. Saturn wants to keep you on track and wants you to move forward with determination and the ability to achieve all that you dream of during this New Moon period and beyond.

Finally, Mercury stations direct on October 18th. This is a much shorter retrograde period that started on September 27th. I feel we all know about Mercury retrograde.

Because it is the planet that rules the mind, everything will seem to be a little off in our world involving communication of all types, technology, and commerce. As Mercury moves from retrograde to direct, give Mercury a few days to get his bearings, then you should experience more clarity about whatever issues you have been wrestling with. You will feel more confident in moving forward with anything that requires your intellect and decision-making powers.

The Aries Full Moon will occur on October 20th, rounding out this entire dynamic. Since the Sun/Moon polarity occurs between Libra and Aries, relationships are highlighted. The tug of war is between self and others.

But the energy is also calling for us to move into a new cycle.

It marks a starting point since Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. This is a time of complete awareness and the realization of all your efforts that you started during the New Moon. Become aware of how to compromise and cooperate with others when initiating or beginning new things. This is a time to invest emotional energy into your personal relationships or business partnerships.

On October 23rd, we enter Scorpio season, as the Sun transitions into this intensely passionate sign. Everything about Scorpio is powerful, from intuition to a passion for life, an incredible business sense, and intensely sexual nature.

With Pluto as the ruler of this sign, it is all about diving deep into the subconscious and forcing our deepest fears into the light for the purpose of self-transformation and renewal. It is a time to release the things we keep secret and hold underground so that we can experience a rebirth and transform our souls. During this season, which lasts until November 22nd, take advantage of this Scorpionic energy by being fearless. You can use this energy in several ways. Ask yourself what you most desire. Connect with others in a more intimate and meaningful way.

You may want to merge with your lover in a deeper way, increasing your level of sensual intimacy and commitment.

Or you may want to share your inner secrets with your closest friend and allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable without fear of being hurt. It is a great time to dive into deep conversations and have those discussions we most fear.

Linda Watson is the owner and creator of Soul Guide Astrology. She is a member of the American Federation of Astrologers. She provides birth chart readings and solar return (yearly) chart readings, offering support, insight, and guidance to better help others find their focus and move forward with their dreams. You can schedule a consultation by visiting her website, www.soulguideastrology.com.

Find her on Facebook at Facebook.com/linda.watsonastrolog or on Instagram at instagram.com/soulguideastrology

50 FUN WAYS TO RELIEVE STRESS THIS FALL

BY LORI BOOTY

The American Psychological Association has completed surveys on the stress of Americans since the year 2007. Their 2020 study shows that we still have the stressors of the economy, politics, and racism, but we’ve added a worldwide pandemic to the mix, and Americans are more stressed than ever. 78% of adults list the pandemic as a significant amount of stress.

What can you do to feel relief when stress is causing physical symptoms, depression, and anxiety? Here I’ve listed 50 fun ways to relieve stress quickly. Try a few or try them all as we attempt to make sense of this new world we’re living in.

Go to your favorite coffee shop and order a new cozy coffee or hot tea drink.

Go to your local pumpkin patch on a sunny day and take advantage of the photo ops while you soak in the Vitamin D from the sun.

Make a delicious pumpkin bread recipe and fill your house with the scent of cinnamon and allspice.

Diffuse 3 drops each of vanilla, wild orange, and cassia essential oils to create an uplifting, warm fragrance in your home.

Get a new, book to read just for fun, and cozy up under a blanket by the fire.

Have a pumpkin decorating contest with your family and have awards for the most creative, funniest, and scariest pumpkins.

Plant some fall colors in your garden. Try mums, crotons, ornamental cabbages, and pansies.

Make bath salts with 1 cup of Epsom salt, ¼ cup coconut oil, 5 drops of eucalyptus essential oil and 5 drops of lavender essential oil. Put 23 tablespoons in a warm bath to open airways and feel calm and relaxed.

Make a healthy crockpot dinner. Find free recipes on Pinterest or allrecipes.com.

Buy a new cozy sweater to wear on cooler days.

Paint your nails a darker color for fall.

Snuggle up with a hot water bottle in a fluffy cover.

I found mine on Amazon

Go to a fall festival in a local small town.

Put on cozy pajamas and watch romance movies.

Have a spa day with a friend or relative. Try face masks, body lotions, and foot baths.

Bake an old family recipe.

Download an adult coloring page and color it in with colored pencils or markers.

Go on a nature walk and collect interesting leaves, pine cones, and rocks to display on a tray or in a bowl on your coffee table.

Play music from your teen years and dance and sing as loud as you can.

Go through your home and fill a large garbage bag of trash and fill another one with things to donate.

Go to a local museum exhibit.

Try a guided meditation from YouTube or the Insight Timer app.

Listen to an uplifting podcast.

Try an easy craft, like painting a thrift store furniture piece, beading a necklace, or creating a fall display in your living room

Try a paint by numbers project.

Do a 1000 piece puzzle.

Learn a new craft, like herbalism, playing guitar, or hand lettering.

Grab a friend and go to a funny movie.

Journal about your stress and then burn the pages in a safe way outdoors, (fire pit, fireproof pan, etc.) or shred them and toss them.

Take a restorative yoga class online or at a local yoga studio.

Do a store brand vs. name brand tasting contest with all your childhood favorite foods with your family or a group of friends.

Buy a new indoor plant to brighten your space. You can search online for the easiest ones to care for, or if you’re a collector, find some new varieties.

Visit your local small business shops and talk to the artisans about their craft. So inspiring!

Go on YouTube for a tutorial for maximizing your phone camera.

Then visit some picturesque spots around town to try out the tips.

Try breathing exercises, like the Square Breathing method or the 4-7-8 breathing method. These work quickly to relieve stress, and daily use can help improve unwanted health symptoms, like high blood pressure and digestion problems.

Build something with tools, maybe a table, a birdhouse, or a bookshelf.

Declutter an area of your home. Then plan items to re-decorate using a Pinterest board.

Make a few blankets to give to a pet shelter or children’s charity. You can make a no-sew fleece blanket in a couple of hours. A quick Google search will take you to websites, like Project Linus, that accept blankets.

Sit by a lake, pond, or the ocean and watch the reflections on the water. Find some pebbles nearby and throw them in the water as if they were your troubles.

Go on a drive to find your dream home or dream area of town to live in.

Do some stargazing. Find an area just outside of the bright lights of town to see the most stars.

Go to a pet shelter and love on all the fur babies, or play with your own pets if you have them.

Experiment with aromatherapy, blending essential oils, like ylangylang, cedarwood, lavender, peppermint, and bergamot, to find a calming blend to diffuse in the air or carry in a roller bottle. For a roller bottle mix, 15-20 drops in a 10 mL roller bottle and top with fractionated coconut oil, jojoba, or sweet almond oil.

Find an area of your home that gets little use and make it a spot for calming activities, like yoga, meditation, prayer, crafting, etc.

Make homemade Play-dough to work out your stress.

Combine 2 cups flour, 2 cups water, 1 cup of salt, 1 tablespoon vegetable oil, and 1 teaspoon cream of tartar in a saucepan. Heat over medium heat until it forms a ball. Let cool on parchment paper. Then knead in 3-5 drops of food coloring and 5 drops of calming essential oil. Store in an air-tight container in the refrigerator. It will last a few months.

Rake all the leaves or pine needles in your yard and build a scarecrow or jump in the piles with your kids or grandkids.

Do a technology detox. Avoid technology for 1-2 days. Fill your time with people-watching or hands-on activities.

Go for a bike ride.

Watch a 10-minute comedy routine online.

Look through old photos or family videos of happy memories.

Which one of these are you going to try first? Hopefully, a few will become favorites and be a part of your normal weekly routine. Addressing stress is something we must all keep up with on a daily basis. Set aside at least 20 minutes a day to relieve stress from day-to-day activities.

Lori Booty is a Certified Transformational Nutrition Coach with over 20 years of experience teaching elementary school and a Masters in School Counseling. She is the owner and creator of Beautifulimmunity.com. Lori began her health transformation after watching her mother battle a traumatic illness and she realized her own health was not as good as she wanted it to be. She found out that nutrition held the key to improving her symptoms and not medications with terrible side effects. Throughout her journey, she's found that there are many natural remedies she could turn to for her family and not always have to rush to the doctor. One of the most surprising remedies she found was that her thoughts actually impact the quality of her health. She now works to support women who are exhausted from raising kids and caring for aging parents to get back their own health without using medications or crazy, complicated diets. http://beautifulimmunity.com/ https://www.facebook.com/beautifulimmunity/ https://www.instagram.com/loriboot/

Sometimes it’s Okay to be a Control Freak

By Kim Klein

I’ve been thinking a lot about all the dangerous toxins out there and how they have invaded every part of our lives.

Whether it is the toxins in food, household items, self-care products, or even toxic people (we call them energy vampires, I believe) we need to find a way to rid ourselves of them.

Did you know there are thousands of ingredients that the FDA has approved for use, but that no one has studied in over 3 decades, or for that matter, some not at all? And little to no studies have been done on the cumulative effect of all these industrial food-scientist-created ingredients in our food system.

Many of these ingredients are created by substances contaminated with carcinogens, some make us addicted to non-food substances that are cheaper to produce than real food, and some are downright dangerous.

Ann Wigmore, a holistic health practitioner, naturopath, and raw food advocate was quoted as saying, “The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful of medicine, or the slowest form of poison.” Now, that gets you thinking.

If you feel overwhelmed and are tired of all the conflicting reports and information out there, making you want to throw your hands up in the air, I have one suggestion. And it's simple. It will reduce your exposure to these toxic substances, at least in your food, and it's called, cook at home.

“The most important thing you can do for your health is cook. ''Cooking is more powerful than any medication.” ~ Michael Pollan But the key here is that you cook using whole foods, meaning food that is not processed, not from a box, with ingredients you can pronounce and know what they are. Eat at least 15 meals a week at home using ingredients you buy (so you are in control of what you are consuming) and cook yourself. If you don’t think you have time, have family members pitch in.

There will be a newfound appreciation for where your food comes from and what it takes to get it from farm to table.

So, let’s break it down. That's 5 breakfasts, 5 lunches, and 5 dinners a week. And these can be simple meals, you don't have to get all fancy with it. That leaves you 6 meals a week where you can be flexible to eat wherever you choose, dinner at a friend’s, a night of take-out, or going out to eat at a restaurant.

Cooking at home is beneficial in so many ways; you save money, it allows you to spend more time with family, you can flex your creativity, and of course, you know exactly what is being consumed by your body. You control the amount of salt, sugar, and fat you use, as well as overseeing portion control.

Another extremely important benefit that you will get from cooking at home is that you will nourish and ground your relationships, creating a loving and healthy environment for those around you. So, what are you going to cook tonight?

Kim Klein is a Life Coach, Certified Holistic Health Coach, Certified Feng Shui Practitioner, and author. She is the founder of Kim Klein Life Coaching and Wabi-Sabi Women and is the author of Damn, the Pusherman ~ Sugar, The Legal Drug that is Keeping You Sick and Fat, and Nine Degrees North, a young adult fiction novel. https://kimkleincoaching.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/boomerwomen/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimberklein/ kimberjklein@gmail.com

Is Perfectionism Keeping You Stuck from Having the Money for Your Dreams?

By Sherry Parks

My lifelong dream has been to visit Australia. I got the bug from my granny when I was a teenager. She always had Natural Geographic magazines around and I always spent time looking at them when we visited. Every now and then, I’d get sucked into the pics and articles and that is what happened with Australia. The feature was about The Great Barrier Reef and Granny and I talked about it and how magnificent the pics were. We both thought it would be amazing to see it in person.

Here are a few excuses I used:

Then the movie Crocodile Dundee came out and my dreams of Australia just got bigger. I became even more hooked on this idea of visiting Australia. I began to fantasize about the Aussie man who would sweep me off my feet. But it was more than the romance of it. It was the danger. The size of the land. The outback in its sheer beauty.

But the sad truth is, I’ve never made that trip happen for myself. I’ve never made my dream a reality.

In a nutshell, it was and still is perfectionism. I wanted all the circumstances to be just perfect. When they were perfect, I’d make that trip happen.

I didn’t want to take vacations longer than a week. Work was just too hectic to handle all the catch-up. Plus, I was afraid I’d lose my job.

I didn’t have enough confidence in myself. I just didn’t think I could handle an international trip. I felt like I needed to do less intense international trips first. This one was just too big with no experience.

Next was the fact that my mom wanted to go with me. I had a lot of reasons in my mind to grasp on this as an excuse, not the least of which was my fantasy of meeting Mr. Right and thinking mom would get in the way. I do regret this one so much now that mom is gone.

Last, but certainly not least, was the money. This was an expensive airline ticket. Not to mention the hotels, food, and touring around I want to do. I felt it would be wasteful to spend this money.

Instead, I thought I needed to focus my money on: Retirement savings Down payment on a house General savings of 3-6 months expenses

There was always an excuse that now was not the “perfect” time to go for my dream and visit Australia.

Looking back, I can clearly see that I was stuck in perfectionism.

It wasn’t the perfect time.

I didn’t have the perfect travel partner (in my mind, while now I see that I did).

I didn’t have the perfect bank balance.

Perfectionism truly does block us from a lot in life. And with money, it is super important to let go of perfectionism.

Perfectionism with money tells us that we aren’t good enough the way we are. I feel like it even sends the message to the universe that we aren’t grateful for what we have and therefore not worth more. It even sends that message to those around us that we don’t value ourselves enough to go for our dreams.

It’s a money block that so many of us have; we must be “perfect” to be worthy of our dreams. If there is a bigger money block, I don’t know what it is.

Look at all those mega-millionaires out there. Is there an inkling of unworthiness exuding from them? Is there any indication at all that they see themselves unworthy of the money they have? Or not good enough to have more? Nope.

So, how do we get ourselves unstuck, out of perfectionism, and attracting more money? How do we grow into feeling worthy of having more money? How do we value ourselves so much that we create our dream life?

Practice Self-Love. Sometimes, society gives us the message that to love ourselves is tantamount to being “too big for our britches” or “full of ourselves”. But in order to really grow into the life we want, we have to love ourselves.

You have to see the magnificence of yourself to feel your own worth.

Trust me, this is one that I’ve struggled with for literal decades. But I’m getting better and I know that when I’m in a fierce place of loving myself, I create magic for myself. When I backslide into feeling less than, I get stuck and magic stops. Here are a few suggestions for you.

Look in your eyes in the mirror and tell yourself “I love you”.

Write in your journal every day three reasons why you love yourself.

Write “I love you” on a post-it and place it where you’ll see it often.

Put a reminder on your phone that you are loved and valued.

Do whatever you have to do to feel love for yourself. The worthiness (and money), will follow.

Take Action. Taking action (even small, baby steps) every day, week or even month goes a long way to reinforce your value. It’s even better if you take action that isn’t perfect!

Here are a few ideas for you: Start a specific “fund” for your dream. Name it. Get serious about putting money in it on a regular basis. Even a small amount of money works.

Spend time exploring your options.

Call a travel agent and start the conversation about the trip of your dreams.

Start looking at real estate and maybe even visit the house of your dreams even if it isn’t in your price range.

Add your dream to your vision board in words or pictures.

It doesn’t matter how big or small the action. Just take some action. Stop keeping your dream as something you only think about now and again. Start moving toward them in a real way. Once you do this, your worthiness will build and your perfectionism will recede.

Practice Releasing Perfectionism. Perfectionism is a way to protect ourselves. If we don’t take any action, then we don’t risk failure. And if we don’t fail, we can feel better about ourselves.

But that doesn’t really work, because we don’t feel better about ourselves. In fact, we often have regret that we didn’t actually achieve our dreams.

I encourage you to start putting small things out into the world, even before you feel they are perfect. Allow yourself to get that little bit uncomfortable. It will go a long way not only to helping you release perfectionism on bigger things, but to also feel really good about yourself. You can do things like: Post the picture on social media that makes you cringe a little.

Send an email without scrutinizing every word and phrase for typos, diplomacy, or whatever.

Go to the grocery without putting make-up on.

It really doesn’t matter what you do, just start embracing your humanity and really going for your dreams in a real way…. regardless of perfection.

You only have one life; I encourage you to stop letting perfection get in the way of your dreams!

Sher r y P a rks, CPA, is a Money Mindset C o a c h w h o h e l p s w o m e n e s c a p e f e e l i n g t r a p p e d b y t h e i r fina n c e s . S he is pas sionate about helpin g w o m e n c h a n g e m i n d s e t , e m o t i o n s a n d a c t i o n s r e g a r d i n g mone y , s o that they learn to keep what t h e y h a v e a n d g e n e r a t e m o r e .

Chec k o u t her 5 Steps to a Better Money S t o r y work b o o k or j o i n h e r women-o nly Facebook group More Than E n ough Mone y Sisterhood.

The Divorced Woman’s Guide To . . . Noticing The Mental Health Impact of Divorce on Kids

By Wendy Sterling As a marriage dissolves, many parents find themselves asking questions like, “should we stay together for the kids?”

I know I did. And while all parents have many divorce-related worries on their minds—from the future of their living situation to finances to the uncertainty of the custody arrangement—they may worry most about how their kids will handle and deal with the divorce.

What are the psychological effects of divorce on children? Well, it depends.

While divorce is stressful for all children, many kids rebound faster than others. In fact, kids are more resilient than we give them credit for!

The good news is that parents may use supportive parenting strategies to reduce the psychological effects of divorce on children and assist your kids as they adjust to the many changes brought about by divorce. Research has found that kids struggle the most during the first one to two years after the divorce. Kids are likely to experience distress, anger, anxiety, and disbelief.

The bright side is many kids do bounce back. They become accustomed to changes in their daily routines and they grow comfortable with their living arrangements.

Divorce creates emotional turmoil for the entire family, but for kids, the situation can be quite scary, confusing, and frustrating. Young children often struggle to understand why they must go between two homes.

They may worry that if their parents can stop loving one another that someday, their parents may stop loving them. Grade school children may worry that the divorce is their fault. They may fear they misbehaved, or they may assume they did something wrong. Teenagers may become quite angry about divorce and the changes it creates. They may blame one parent for the dissolution of the marriage, or they may resent one or both parents for the upheaval in the family. Of course, every situation is unique and different. In extreme circumstances, a child may feel relieved by the separation—if a divorce means fewer arguments and less stress.

For some children, parental separation isn’t the hardest part. Instead, the accompanying stressors are what make divorce the most difficult. Changing schools, moving to a new home, and living with a single parent who feels a little more frazzled are just a few of the additional stressors that make divorce difficult.

Financial hardships are also common following divorce.

Many families must move to smaller homes or change neighborhoods and they often have fewer material resources.

The addition of a stepparent and possibly several stepsiblings can be another big adjustment. And quite often both parents re-marry, which means many changes for kids. It’s important to talk about this idea well in advance of a first meeting. Otherwise, the specific timing, boundaries, and ground rules are all totally up to the parents involved — but these are all discussion points that should come up before thrusting the kids into a potentially emotional situation. You may choose, for example, to wait until you’re in an exclusive relationship for several months before involving the kids. But the timeline will look different for each family.

The same goes with the boundaries you set. No matter how you do it, though, try your best to have a plan and plenty of understanding for any emotions that crop up.

Parents should understand how stressful divorce can be to children. While there is nothing easy about a breakup, there are several steps to take to support and show your love. These efforts will help children cope with the consequences of the dissolution of a marriage: Active Communication - Having regular and constant communication with your children is crucial during and after the breakup. Establish balanced and healthy communication, reassuring your children that they are not responsible for the divorce.

Be Available for Emotional Support - Most kids require an emotional support system. This reduces the impact of emotional stress. Stay involved as parents and handle the divorce in a calm and rational manner to help children mitigate the adverse effects.

Avoid Custody Disputes - Custody disputes are often long, and chaotic legal spats settled in the court. This could be a stressful experience for children, especially if the court awards custody to only one parent. To prevent the agony of a drawn-out fight, nurture your children together (as lifetime partners in parenting) and seek mediation to establish a mutually beneficial custody agreement.

Divorce is a bitter pill for both parents and children. In the end, it goes back to doing what’s right for your family. And families can take on many forms. Try your best to explain to your child that, no matter what, you are still a family — you’re simply changing. More than anything else, your child wants to know that they have your unconditional love and support regardless of your relationship status.

Wendy Sterling is a Divorce Recovery Specialist, writer, author, and speaker who founded The Divorce Rehab™. Wendy helps divorced women recover from their divorce by finding their true identity and voice by ending their pity party, mourning the loss of their marriage to create a new, better life they design. Prior to becoming a certified life coach, Wendy established her 18-year career as a top-level advertising sales executive in the digital space, at the world’s most progressive social and lifestyle website brands (such as Who What Wear and Refinery29). After learning of her own unexpected divorce and finding the world of coaching, she realized she could combine her 20 years of experience in Corporate America as a leader with this new coaching methodology and make a profound impact in the world. She helps women see their divorce as a gift, it happens FOR them not TO them. Wendy is a graduate of UCLA and a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC) from The Co-Active Training Institute. She is also an Associate Certified Coach (ACC) through the International Coach Federation. She is a guest blogger on Hello Divorce as well as a Contributing Writer for Divorced Girl Smiling.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wendytsterling/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcerehabwithwendy/ Website: https://www.wendysterling.net/

Have you ever thought about claiming the beautiful things around you in life instead of focusing on the bad? I like to think of it as a verbal form of gratitude where you show appreciation for the things that float your boat.

How often do you express (claim) what you like and prefer?

As for myself, I appreciate the sounds of nature when I step outside each morning. The birds chirping as they begin their day. The cool breeze blowing through the trees. There is so much beauty all around. So much to appreciate. I prefer to claim those moments. Ahhh yeah, I love that.

Namaste ☮️ Jace Jacobs Appreciate Everything ~ Love Fully ~ Need Nothing

I love when that dove sings And the wind through the chimes Soaking up the sunbeams While testing out new rhymes

The day is off and running I’ve got my critters with me We’ll lift each other up And be who we can be

I see that look in your eyes And the smile on your face Slowing down and getting close Being cautious with the pace

Another beautiful moment Knowing just the right time Ahhh yeah, when that dove sings I’ll be claiming what’s mine

***

Appreciation feels good. Right now is a beautiful moment to claim your abundance and shine bright with gratitude. Name it and claim it.

Sending you much love and light.

Meet Jace Jacobs! Jace Jacobs is a Happy

Mindset Poet, Performer, and Creator @ jacejacobs.com. Jace is an author and spoken word poetry performer. His

Happy Mindset Poetry books are available on Amazon or via jacejacobs.com.

Jace enjoys helping cool souls raise their

vibrational state so they can experience more confidence and clarity in their life.Appreciate Everything ~ Love Fully ~ Need

Nothing#HappyMindsetPoetryVisit the social media links below for video

rhyming happy mindset poetry. performances of spoken word

Claiming What's Mine

https://www.facebook.com/jacewjacobs/ https://www.youtube.com/jacejacobs https://www.instagram.com/jacejacobs https://twitter.com/jacejacobs

OCTOBER POEMS

BY SKYLAR SNOW POETRY

Fun things we tend to enjoy in October such as apple picking, pumpkin picking, hikes, bike rides, and Fall festivals. It's crunchy leaf season and the coziness is just starting to kick in.

Days to celebrate 1st World vegetarian day, An acknowledgment to those who don't eat animals.

4th World animal welfare day, The importance of animals having the same rights as humans, health care, and happiness. Also to prevent hunting throughout the year.

9th World post day, No post on Sundays! A note to the post workers to say thank you for all your hard work and bravery when delivering posts.

10th World mental health day, The struggles of mental health and how you can maintain a positive outlook in those rainier days.

16th Boss day, We appreciate all the hard work and dedication it takes to be a boss!

Skylar Snow Poetry is a Poetry and blog writer.

Aspirations to study Forensic Psychology as a degree. deartherapyblog.wordpress.com https://www.instagram.com/deartherapy/

-Vegetarian vibesBy Skylar Snow Poetry The guilt of eating an animal, You almost feel like a hungry criminal, Life is loved, meat can be enjoyed, But vegetarians are smart as they avoid,

It takes a lot to be a true vegetarian, Meat is something they'll never go near again, Respect to never eat living food, A fresher diet with a guilt-free mood.

-Animals all over the worldBy Skylar Snow Poetry

Don't go hunting, the sport isn't worth the kill, And the kill isn't a life long thrill, When an animal is sick, They deserve health care and quick,

Every animal is important, never insignificant, Respect the animals as they are never different, A warm embrace that they give naturally, Isn't worth the hunting fatalities.

-Power of postBy Skylar Snow Poetry When someone delivers your post, They care about the delivery the most, Pushing mail through a letterbox, Walking for miles to every door locked,

First thing in the morning and the post arrives, Post-delivery is fast as they deliver at sunrise, Dogs get excited when the post appears, Postal workers are loyal throughout the years.

-Prison of the mind

By Skylar Snow Poetry

It's hard when you've got mental health, Wake up every day not feeling yourself, It's okay, never feel ashamed, For the extent of your mental pain,

Professionals can help and friends support, Every negative can be a positive thought, Life is raindrops and a little thunder, There's more rainbows if you climb under,

It's okay to not be okay, But not every day will hide the sun's ray, Reach out to family or a friend, Listen to the healing that the nation sends.

-Boss appreciationBy Skylar Snow Poetry

Let's take a moment to thank our boss, A job with purpose when in life you feel lost, Work can sometimes be a strain, But a true boss keeps you on your game,

Thank you to my boss Bernadine Otto, When you hired me, you helped me more than you'd know, Every day that I work and write, Is a better future in sight.

Cozy Living!

By Judy Brown

Fall is here and winter tiptoes right behind.

What do you love about the cooler seasons?

Well, coziness ranks high with me!

Welcome to the Danish term Hygge. In The Little Book of Hygge, author Meik Wiking enlightens us on the many aspects of this inspiring lifestyle concept.

After all, Denmark ranks #2 as the happiest country in the world. We have a lot to gain from them!

Meik Wiking’s expertise is well deserved. Not only is he an author, but he is the CEO of the Happiness Research Institute and a research associate for Denmark at the World Database of Happiness. Needless to say, he is a well sought-after speaker.

Hygge, in a nutshell, means finding comfort, a cozy lifestyle, soothing and simple activities, and creating well-being. It is about atmosphere and experience, rather than material things. Hygge is about a feeling, as Wiking points out.

He goes on to illustrate a few examples of what the Danes consider hygge: board games, a pantry party, a mini library, a fire in the fireplace, a swap party, a hike in the woods, or hot cocoa by candlelight. Hygge also includes comfort foods, comfortable clothing, soft lighting, and quiet.

I have a cozy nook in my house with soft lighting, a comfy wingback chair, a handmade throw, and a table with a stack of my favorite books. It is near a window where I enjoy watching the birds and the seasonal changes. It gives me that feeling!

Meik Wiking emphasizes that relationships and gathering with friends is an important component of this concept.

Hygge is about making memories. It is sitting with a friend and having your favorite cup of tea.

Did you know that the English word HUG is rooted in this Danish word?

Wiking highly suggests putting The Hygge Manifesto on your fridge to remind you to hygge every day. I won’t give it all away but one of the ten listed in the manifesto is truce.

Meaning….no drama!

Hygge has no season, but it is very adaptable to colder times. As we approach winter in the northern hemisphere, I gather inspiration and joy from planning more hygge in my life.

Even cozy sweaters fit the bill!

I highly recommend this book. It is a fun read that offers many secrets to happy living. It even has a few hygge recipes!

Treat yourself this fall to this good read. You may well find a new way to embrace your life!

Judy Brown has a BA in Biology from Connecticut College and is a Certified Holistic Health Coach trained by the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. She coaches women in their midlife years who want to reclaim their health and discover a more balanced and vibrant lifestyle. Judy provides individual and group coaching, workshops, smoothie demos, guided meditations for groups, and is an active blogger. She has two grown children. Judy loves to read, write, walk in the woods, sail, have afternoon tea, and explore the world with her husband. www.judyswellnesscafe.com https://www.facebook.com/judyswellnesscafe/ https://www.instagram.com/judyswellnesscafe/

WHAT'S COOKING

Pumpkin Hummus

By Bernadine Otto

The Ingredients 1 can of chickpeas drained 1 can of 100% pure pumpkin or use fresh 2tbsp of fresh lemon juice 1/4 cup tahini Salt and pepper to taste 1/2 cup of olive oil pinch of paprika

The Method Place chickpeas, pumpkin, lemon juice, tahini, and paprika in a food blender. Blend till soft.

Transfer to a bowl and serve with pita bread or pita chips.

Double-Nut Chocolate GrainFree Granola Crumble

By Debra Letchworth

The Ingredients ½ cup pecans ½ cup jungle peanuts (or nut of choice, if allergic to peanuts) ¼ cup sacha inchi seeds or pumpkin seeds ¼ cup cacao wafers ½ cup dried apricots (or dried fruit of choice) 1 Tbsp honey ½ Tbsp coconut oil ¾ tsp vanilla extract ¼ tsp Himalayan salt

The Method Place nuts, seeds, cacao wafers, and dried fruit into a food processor and pulse to desired chunkiness. Add remaining ingredients and stir to thoroughly mix. Transfer to an 8 x 8inch square pan and refrigerate for at least 30-60 minutes.

Spoon out about ¼ cup into a ramekin and mix with plain or vanilla yogurt if desired.

NEXT STEP WITH KALPANA

KALPANA’S ORGANIC SKIN AND HAIR CARE http://bit.ly/Nextstepwithkalpana From my early years, I’ve enjoyed experimenting with combining ingredients, readily available in a traditional Indian kitchen, to make natural skin and hair treatments such as masks, face & body scrubs, and creams for myself and my loved ones.

I intuitively experimented with making concoctions of various combinations of milk, honey, chocolate, saffron, ginger, turmeric, yogurt, lemon, and oils, to name a few.

My Innate love for beauty and holistic wellness evolved by learning more about natural skincare & essential oils and combining it with the age-old wisdom of Ayurveda, to create my signature line of organic, cruelty-free, products, free from harsh chemicals and charged with Reiki & crystal energy

“October is the opal month of the year.

It is the month of glory, of ripeness. It is the picturemonth.” - Henry Ward Beecher