Questions to Ask Before Making Life Decisions

by Brittany Pruess

We have all been there; the moment that defines the rest of our lives, carves out a new direction for us and for those we love, and ultimately shakes up how we experience every single moment that is to come. Major life decisions are defining moments for each and every one of us, but how we choose to navigate them can be vastly different. Some charge at these transitions with only their gut; letting nothing but instinct, visceral reactions, and past experience lead the way. Others approach the decisions with their head; allowing overthinking, exhaustion, and everyone’s opinions of the situation to run rampant in their brains. Which approach is better you ask? Neither. Both can lead to decisions made out of alignment with who you are, what your purpose is, and the values you possess. Oftentimes, you're left feeling insecure and uncertain about the decision you made. YIKES!

By taking the time to ask the right questions, you can rest assured that the next life decision you make will leave you feeling confident in how you choose to show up to the situation at hand. Use the introspective questions below the next time you find yourself eye-to-eye with a major life decision.

Am I personally responsible for making this decision?

This first question is extremely important. It is also one, as women, we often ignore. We innocently navigate decision-making for others assuming we are relieving them of a heavy burden in their lives. I want to encourage you to take a moment and clearly determine whether the decision before you is truly your decision to make, or if someone else is better equipped or responsible for making it. There is no need to unnecessarily carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Release some of the decisions not meant for you. If you determine that the decision is truly yours, then continue on to the next question.

What response reflects who I am and my purpose?

Hopefully, at some point in your life, you have reflected, dug deep, and clearly defined who you are and your purpose. If you have not, do so now. Without a solid foundation of who we are, we have no way of making sound decisions that truly resonate in our lives. How can we possibly decide whether to relocate for a job, if we don’t know why we even selected our career in the first place? What if the job, itself, does not even align with our core? The question of relocating may not even be the decision we should be making.

When you have defined who you are and your purpose, then you can determine if one decision connects more with your definitions. Let’s say “philanthropic” is a word found in your definition of self and purpose. Let’s also say you are trying to decide whether or not to take a promotion at work that will require more hours per week from you, but an increase in pay. By having your definition, you are equipped to evaluate the promotion from a deeply-rooted foundation. You have already put in the work to know philanthropy is central to you, so you do not have to waste time, or brainpower, determining what foundation to use to make your decision. You can cut to the chase and ask, “Will this promotion draw me toward or away from my philanthropic mission?” Another question if you still cannot decide would be, “Is there a way to see this job as a source of philanthropy?” Of course, there are other words in your definition of self and purpose, so using this same strategy, go down the list and answer whether or not the decision aligns with who you are. If there are more yes answers, its means you are heading in the right direction.

What choice draws me closer to my values and priorities?

Just like your definitions of who you are and your purpose are crucial when it comes to making major life decisions, it is equally as important to have clearly stated values and priorities that stem from your foundation. When making a decision,ask yourself if your priorities show up in a greater capacity in one outcome versus the other using the same process above.

Does one decision enable me to lift up those closest to me?

If you find yourself still teetering on a decision, then ask yourself if making a particular choice will also lift up those closest to you. It is important to note here,as women, we have a tendency to view everyone as “closest to us.” Be honest with yourself and be intentional about who you want to truly include in your inner circle. These are the people that contribute to your life in a big way, including the process of making a major decision, so choose wisely.

Does choosing one direction over another actually matter?

Sometimes, it really does not matter if we choose one decision over another. If you have answered the questions above, and still cannot determine which direction is better, select the slightly better option and then move on without stewing over whether you made the right decision. If you asked yourself the truly important questions, carved out time and space to do the mental work, and were honest with how the outcomes match up to your foundation; you made the best choice you could make.

It is definitely necessary to be intentional when making major life decisions, that is why we call them “major”; but there is no need to look at them from ALL angles, just the angles that truly aid in making a sound decision. Take some time, embrace introspection, and then trust yourself to select the most meaningful choice for your life. You got this! BHW