Confessions From The Mat

IF YOU’VE EVER HAD ANY OF THE BELOW THOUGHTS DURING YOGA THEN YOU’RE NOT ALONE, SAYS ALEXANDRA LEGOUIX…

9.50am: Its GREEN! The light is green Madam Peugeot driver... Go, go, go damn you! I am so late! Ok... moving... I will make it... I can be five minutes late at a push and they’ll still let me in if I’m quiet I’m sure...

10.02am: Morning! Sorry, sorry, is it ok? I promise I’ll sneak in quietly. Thank you, thank you!

10.04am: Hmm, okay, I want to be near the mirror... I wonder if I can squeeze in there... No I won’t go there, she’s too good... Ok there is good... Ok let’s do this... Sorry, sorry... Quick, relax... Oh god they are already moving...

10.22am: Oh come on body, wakey, wakey. Why are you so stiff today?! Grrr...

10.30am: OK, this is good. A few sun salutations down and I am on a roll. I’m floooowing, my energy is up, I feel good... I’m actually quite good at this yoga malarkey... yeah, look at me... And I don’t look too porky either.

10.35am: Holy crap. Why can’t I balance? What is wrong with me?! Jeez, I am wobbling so much more than everyone else. Look how good everyone else looks!

10.42am: You’re not breathing. C’mon ujjayi breath, work your magic...

10.50am: Oh, I feel good. This feels goooooood. Yes, yes, yes. Grrr. Flying. Woop. Gosh, I love yoga.

10.53am: I love this pose...

10.54am: I hate this pose...

10.55am: I have definitely put weight on... Yep... they are new love handles... maybe I can tuck my top in a bit... Not sure about this top actually... Damn, how is it possible to sweat this much...

11.02am: ‘Mula Bandha?’ Which one is that one again?

11.06am: Oh god. I am so rubbish today. I wish I had done more yoga in January. Why didn’t I do more yoga? I swear I wouldn’t be so bad if I had just done more.

11.09am: Stop thinking. Breathe, breathe... Focus on your breath...

11.12am: Wild thing. Yes, I agree Lynette. Such a good teacher you are. I am ‘embracing my wild thing’. Damn, I am on fire today. Go me... This year is going to be a good year. Things are going to change... I can really feel it...

11.15am: What. Is. That? My back. Ouch. No, please don’t go... Stay with me, body... We can do this... Breathe, breathe... 11.15... Already? Ok, almost at the end. Awesome... Lying down time soon... God, I really am ready to lie down...

11.18am: Another THREE vinyasas??? Jeez...

11.21am: Ok I am actually dying...

11.22am: Please can we lie down now?

11.23: SWEAT... I actually can’t see...

11.26am: Aaaaand lie down... yes, yes, yes... quick, relax...

11.27am: Relax... your body... breathe... Relax... Do that ‘sinking through the floor thing’...

11.32am: Huh? What? What’s that? Oh! Yes, sorry, namaste! Gosh, I was in such a deep sleep! Ok, c’mon. Up we get.... Ah yes, heaven. First yoga of 2019. I feel good. Ah well done body... Gosh I feel proud of doing that... That felt gooood... well done me... ok I am definitely going every day... This is my year... 2019, I got this... Boom.

Namaste yogi pals