2 minute read
Expert Contributor: I Want to Quit
by Lou Marvil, Owner of Level Up Black Belt Academy
Every day we are faced with challenges that would be easier to walk away from than to conquer. These challenges are found at home, school, work and other activities.
Children begin their martial arts journey for various reasons such as to gain confidence, respect, focus, perseverance or self-defense but when the training gets tough, some want to quit. It can be expected that children may want to quit when things get challenging but learning how to overcome hurdles is vital to growing stronger in life.
What is discouraging is that sometimes parents allow their children to quit because they don’t want to “force” them or argue with them to continue. In these instances, the message being sent is that it is okay to quit when something gets tough. Children should not be “forced” to do activities or sports. But setting a goal and committing to see it through to completion is a life skill that drives success.
Commitment is a necessary trait to be successful. Parents should discuss commitment with their children prior to beginning any endeavor, explaining that at times, things get tough and failures may occur but quitting is not an option. This is the time for parents to help their children develop the perseverance to accomplish goals, both short- and long-term.
In the martial arts, students make an initial short-term commitment to earn their first few belts, which usually takes between 6 and 9 months. At this time the parent, child and instructor should discuss if continuing and committing to a long-term goal of earning a black belt is the right step. Once this commitment is made, giving up is not an option, not even when things get tough or even encountering failure.
Failure is a part of life and understanding that it exists and it happens to everyone, more often than success, is an imperative part of growing up and learning how to overcome obstacles to reach goals. There is much to be gained by experiencing failure and loss as this is where you learn how to improve and most importantly how great it feels accomplishing your goals and winning, especially after overcoming obstacles.
Discussing expectations about commitment is highly recommended before beginning any activity or sport. Kids need to know that as a parent it is their job is to ensure that they follow through with their commitments. Allowing children to help make decisions is a healthy part of learning autonomy but balance is the key to parenting. Knowing when to encourage, support, or push is crucial to developing strong successful children.
Level Up Black Belt Academy
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