How to Write the Perfect Obituary

by Expert Contributor Robert L. D’Anjolell, Jr., F.D. of DANJOLELL Memorial Homes

An obituary is a vital part of a funeral service. It lets people know about someone’s passing and provides information about an upcoming service. It’s also a chance to learn more about the deceased. When writing an obituary for a loved one, here are five essential elements to include.

Announcement of Death Begin with the announcement of the person’s death, using language that you and your family are comfortable with. Then mention the day your loved one passed away, their age, and the location of their residence at the time of their death. Some people feel that using the word “died” is important. Others may instead prefer words like “passed away” or “after a long battle with….” You and your family can choose whether to include the circumstances around the death itself.

Family The next section of an obituary should mention the surviving family members, who are the people others can offer condolences and assistance to during this difficult time. Survivors should be listed in order of closest relation to the deceased: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents and siblings. The first names of relatives should always be included as well as a spouse's name in parentheses and then their last name. Most obituaries do not include the names of nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins unless they were especially close to the deceased.

Biography The biography is typically the longest and most personal part. It’s where you highlight your deceased loved one’s lifetime accomplishments such as their education, their career highlights and other proud achievements such as having worked with a charity or community organization. It’s more important to focus on the qualities of the deceased and their relationships than on every accomplishment. Talking about the impact your loved one had on others will make for a very meaningful obituary.

Funeral or Memorial Service Toward the end of the obituary is where you should include information about the upcoming service for your loved one. A funeral director can add this to the obituary after the details have been confirmed. Include the date and time of service, location and the officiant’s name. If there will be a separate visitation, include that information as well.

Donations or Special Messages Many people like to close the obituary with a special message such as a prayer or a special thanks. Some families wish to forego flowers and instead ask for donations to a cause or charity that was special to the deceased.

The key to a memorable and interesting obituary is to start with the facts, then speak from the heart. Like a funeral, the obituary should express the grief of your family’s loss and also share parts of your loved one’s life that not everyone may be aware of.

Robert L. D’Anjolell, Jr., F.D.

DANJOLELL

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