READY No*3

READY

A publication of Bethesda Frank.el Estate Church I 060/01/2016

1te~:k:f·

Estate Church ti ~ :~Aiff~

4 La Salle Street

Singapore 456930

Tel: 6448 1800

Fax: 6448 0831

Email: bfec(@bfec.org.sg

Web: www.bfec.org.sg

Editor

Jimmy Tan

Editorial team

PriscillaSoh

Diana Chin

Matthias Ong

Evelyn Tan

Design and Layout

Abigail Ng

Printer

Regent Printing (SJ Pte Ltd

Cover Photo

PriscillaSoh

Sunday Services

Worship Services: English Sam & 10am/Chinese 9.30am

Children: English 10am/Chinese 9.30am

Views expressed in published articles are those of the individual writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Editorial Team or the Church Council.

Your contributions to READY are welcome and should be submitted to editor@bfec.org.sg. The Editor reserves the right to accept, reject or edit any articles submitted for publication.

Youth: English 12pm/Chinese 9.30am

Filipino & Indonesian: 10.15am

Mural in the chapel at Shepherds' Fields, Bethlehem

Photo by Diana Chin

To gather together as family. To cherish and belong to a family. To serve God as a family.

The featured articles in this issue centre around family. They testify of the family as a divine institution, as a conduit of God's love and grace, and of the Christian family's commitment to be a channel, symbol and living testimony of kingdom values.

We know the family as a basic unit of society. It is central to the continuity of humanity. We know the family is instituted by God. It is central to the continuity of what God desires for humanity. We know of the spiritual family, the church. It is central to the continuity of the faith, of the gospel, of the community of all adopted as sons and daughters of our living God.

We also know that the family is in jeopardy. It is in crisis. It is being fragmentised.

We claim faithfully and fervently Truth from the Word of God for the family to divinely fulfill its God-given role, to be reinforced, renewed, regenerated.

As we read and enjoy the brave, heartwarming, inspirational sharing of the families featured and represented in this issue, may we also pray. Pray for husbands and wives. Pray for fathers and mothers. Pray for children and siblings. Pray for the extended family. Pray for grandparents, nieces, nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles. Pray for the church as spiritual brothers and sisters in Christ.

Pray for the family, as God intended it to be, to maintain its priority position to transmit Godordained values for the quality of life He so desires for us. Pray for us to commit to gather as family and as a church to strengthen and defend the family's role as designed by God. May we be ever READY.

Diana Chin Editorial team

FAITH AND FAMILY

It could be reasoned that the future of the church, of our faith, of humanity itself passes by the way of the family. This article, inspired by a notion that developing disciples of one's own children would grow the church and encourage parents and family members to persevere to build solid spiritual foundations in our children. Vincent Lim is a faithful deacon at BFEC and serves on the Missions Board. He also regularly shares the Word of God from the pulpit. Vincent is the husband of Hui Kheng and father of two very energetic boys, Elias (6) and Daniel (3). He lives each day in wonder and with gratitude of a God who saved a wretch like him (in Vincent's own words).

"These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door-frames of your houses and on your gates" -

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NIV)

I attended a Faith@Home seminar a few weeks ago led by Reverend Mark Holmen and there was one thing he said that particularly caught my attention. He spoke of the church in Canada being in decline but a study showed that if every Canadian Christian family today just focused on making disciples of their own children, the downward trend would be reversed and the church would be growing again. Mark then went on to share a sobering trend from his own country, the USA, that 60 to 90% of today's children and youth participating in church programmes are going to disengage from their Christian faith.

A similar study has yet to be done in our Singapore churches but evidence suggests that we are facing a similar trend. A recent consultation among churches in the Brethren Network showed that all were having challenges with their youth ministries. Some reasons cited were growing up

in a more challenging world, more stress, more exposure to secular world views, etc. When asked what could be done about this, many gave suggestions on how to adapt and improve their youth and children ministries. One leader however had this suggestion: "Work at the level of the parents. Youth pastors spend a majority of their time with the youths themselves but a lot of the time, the issue is with the parents not prioritising Christian growth for their children . Toe people who minister to the adults need to challenge parents to care for their kids spiritually and that means working in partnership with the youth ministry people."

He may have hit the nail on the head. In the above statistics about youth in the USA, hypocrisy was the primary reason cited by young people for leaving the church. They didn't see the faith that they were taught in the church being authentically lived out in the Christian community and in their families.

Being a struggling parent of two energetic boys myself, I won't be quick to pass judgment on Christian parents. It's also a more challenging world for us. We work longer hours, face a lot more stress, have a lot more worries such as how our children will cope with our pressurizing

school system. We may have a genuine desire to see our children grow up strong in their faith but we don't have the bandwidth to 'teach' them. Unfortunately, many of us tend to tackle this problem the same way we would with othersby outsourcing it.

Sunday School, Home School

Toe Sunday School is an important ministry. It is a place where our children gather in corporate worship, to hear God's Word and to make friends with other children who would journey along with them in their faith. It is interesting though that the original Sunday School didn't start for these purposes. They were Iiterally schools for poor, uneducated children during the Industrial Revolution in the 18th Century where children actually worked in factories six days a week (horrors!). During their Sunday days off, many of them would just loiter around and get themselves into all sorts of mischief. This gave the English Anglican evangelical Robert Raikes the vision to instead gather these children and provide them with an education. In subsequent years, this education included moral instruction and Bible knowledge . With the proliferation of public education, the Sunday School gradually evolved into its current form.

So the Sunday School was originally meant to be an outreach ministry, and our current Sunday Schools still have that as part of their core objectives. However, over the years, Christian parents have treated it as the mainstay of their children's spiritual education and "enrichment." Many well-meaning churches, as a result, invest a lot to make their Sunday School facilities relevant and engaging for their children and youth A famous church in the USA engaged designers of a well-known theme park to make their Children's Church the most elaborate, attractive and welcoming one in the whole world. Upon reflection, the pastor lamented that all that they have accomplished was to create the world's greatest spiritual drop-off centre.

Faith is meant to be home-schooled. Toe verses above from Deuteronomy remind us to speak faith to our children when we sit, when we walk, when we lie down, when we get up. .. in other words, all the time; we are not able to do this unless we ourselves are rooted in faith. This is why Deuteronomy 6 exhorts us to love the Lord with all our hearts and to obey His decrees ourselves before we impress them on our children. This make sense because we cannot give our children something we don't have. And we cannot outsource it.

Vision for our l'amilie1

A good education, good health, and later on, a good job and a happy family are worthy objectives to strive for our children. But is a living faith in our Triune God the greatest goal we have for them? Do we believe and take Jesus' warning in Matthew 16:26 seriously? If so, everything else must be aligned and guided by this greatest goal. Many of us compartmentalise our own lives and the lives of our children. We do not live and breathe our faith in all aspects of our lives and it is not the primary guide for all our major decisions; I confess I'm guilty of this too. As a parent, looking at my young children and the troubled world they are growing up in, my priorities have changed.

Yes, these are challenging times for parents, the demands and stresses are great but can we rise up to this challenge? Many of us admire overseas missionaries for the sacrifices they make in terms of income, safety and security, for the sake of reaching the unreached. While we may not all be that courageous for the sake of people we don't know, can we not consider making similar sacrifices for our own families? Let's examine ourselves: are we working longer hours just to sustain a particular lifestyle? Is there something we could do to free up more time for our children? It could mean a pay cut, a lost opportunity, a humbler lifestyle. I've noticed a growing number of mothers opting to stop work to spend more time with their children during their formative years. What about the fathers? Studies have shown that many of the social problems of today can be traced back specifically to abusive or absent fathers. We need the dads to step in for the long-haul as well - dads for life!

I have only addressed parents thus far but other members of the family are important as well. We could be a sister, brother, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle; each of us has a role to play in the discipleship of our children. When it comes to reaching out to pre-believing children, we play the role of spiritual parents.

l'oandatiom Not l'orgottea

Even when we do all that we can, there is no guarantee that our children will stay in the faith. Indeed, God has no grand-children and our sons and daughters will eventually have to make their own decisions and we do hear of godly, nurturing parents whose children have gone astray. For them, the parable of the prodigal son may offer some hope and comfort. The son remembered what it was like in his father's house and eventually returned. I believe the spiritual foundations we build in our children will likewise be remembered and bear fruit. So let's press on and be the spiritual parent God has called us to be.

7 NUMBERS

BFEC held a community carnival on Sunday 13 July 2014. "Come Walk With Me" was a success and brought the church together to run a carnival to bring the community together to raise funds for two charities - St Andrew's Autism School and Prisons Fellowship International. It was wonderful to see Frankelites coming together so enthusiastically to set up stalls and get the carnival up and running. There were 25 games stalls and 15 food stalls catering to our guests. We also had performances by the children of Bethesda (Katong) Kindergarten. The chairman of the organizing committee, Nick Chung , brings you 7 interesting numbers and facts.

13 people heard the Four Spiritual Laws

3500 people attended the carnival (Frankelites and non-Frankelites)

2 ministers dunked

26 carnival committee members

9 social services booths

10 years ~ince the last carnival Cm 200 4)

6 hours of running the carnival

BACK TO BASICS IN PARENTING

With the recent spotlight on families, the Alpha Committee decided it was timely to organise our first Alpha Parenting course.Two courses were run concurrently - the Parenting Children course (for parents with children up to 10 years) and Teenagers course, (for parents with children from 11 to 18 years). The five week course started on 1 August 2014 with 95 participants - 57 for the Children's course and 38 for the Teenagers Course. The participants included friends invited by Frankelites and parents from our Kindergarten. It encompassed fellowship over dinner, a video presentation and meaningful group discussions. Course coordinator Ng Geok Chye gives us an overview.

The Alpha Parenting Course covered similar topics for both the Children and Teenagers course. They touched on the fundamental building blocks to establishing a strong relationship between parent and child - building strong foundations, meeting the emotional needs, setting boundaries, teaching and developing emotional health, and making good choices.

As usual, many of our members came together to help with the weekly sessions. Many stepped up to volunteer as ushers, serve meals, facilitate the discussion groups and pray while the courses were being run. We even had sisters who organised a special children's program for children who came along with their parents so their parents could attend and focus on the course without having to worry about childcare arrangements.

The feedback from the participants has been very positive and encouraging. Here are some of their testimonies:

"Informative with great life examples and tips for parenting teenagers." - Eugene and Janet (Teenagers course)

"'Ihe concepts and tips we learnt were very useful and presented in an interesting manner.

I wish I had attended the course even earlier so we could have benefited as a family." - Vanessa and Ethan (Children course)

"Attending the course has taught me to exercise more self-control, choose my battles to learn to relax and enjoy my children and add a big dose of humour! The interactions and sharing with those in my group have been precious too, recognising that we need to journey together. Thank you!" - Weng Khay and Kin Soon (Children course)

"I learned about the emotional tank through this course and realise how my elder son acts up when his love bank is low. From the course, I learned what his love languages were and used them immediately His morale lifted almost immediately. He smiled more and seemed to listen and behave better." - Michelle (Children course)

Encouraged by the good feedback with our first Parenting course, there are plans to organise more such courses, as well as related courses like the Marriage Course and the Alpha Course

Watch out for the dates!!

7QUESTIONS

Raymond and Lynette Loh have been members of BFEC since 1992. They have one son, Russell, who is in Primary 5. Raymond teaches at a polytechnic and is involved in CCA sports and student development, while Lynette is a writer and takes care of everything else.

In 2005, Raymond and Lynette decided to foster children from the fostering scheme under the purview of the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) that started in 1956. Their first foster child was a Primary 5 girl from a children's home run by a convent. They have since fostered five children who stayed with their family for durations ranging between two months to three years. They are currently fostering a two year old girl who has been with them since she was seven weeks old.

1. What is fostering about?

Lynette (L): Fostering happens when a family is unable to care for their children and another family helps to look after these children. Children who are put up for fostering usually face various difficulties in their families, such as :financial hardship, broken homes and single parents who are unable to cope. Fostering is not a permanent arrangement. A family, such as ours, brings in these children into our home to allow them to grow up in a conducive environment with the goal of reintegrating them back into their own families when the situation in their home improves.

Foster parents care for the child and are responsible for their general well-being, just like they would for any of their own children. However, the fate of foster children still depends very much on the decisions of their natural parents. The foster child can be of any age, each with a unique background and personality. For babies and toddlers, they usually come with a fresher slate For older children, there could be various social-emotional challenges depending on the family background they come from. Regardless, once we accept a case, most of them will arrive at very short notice, sometimes in a matter of minutes or hours , and with not much else on them.

2. What made yoa d.edd.e to become foster parent.s?

L: Before we had Russell, I used to tutor at children's homes. I never knew there were so many children that needed care. So, Raymond and I decided that when we had children, we would open up our home for them.

Raymond (R): It is also aligned with our Christian faith, and the Bible has many verses about the sanctity of children and how we should always strive to protect and nurture them. We felt that this was a good way to serve, like a personal ministry, since we're not involved in any church-wide ministry. Fostering has also given us the opportunity to examine ourselves in a deeper way, especially the things that bring out the worst in us, and we realize how much more we need God's grace and love to make changes in our own lives for the better.

3. How do JOD think fo1tering benefi.h tbeN children?

L: Usually, for the first time in their lives, these children are in a normal home environment. Hopefully they can grow and develop as regular kids. In many ways, you can tell that the children's families love them, and it is not easy for the parents to allow their children to join the fostering programme. These families have their struggles, including not having enough food to eat or money to send the children to school. In certain cases, children are exposed to influences that they should not be exposed to at such an early age. For some children, the benefits from fostering may not be apparent at all, but we can only try our best and hope for the best for them.

4. How did yoar •on, llunell, acljuat to having fo•ter lliblinp at home?

L: Every child that comes into our home is different and so far, they are very much like siblings to Russell who tends to get along better with children that are of similar age. We like to take them on outings together, such as to the beach, for nature walks, swimming, and makan sessions. These regular activities help them to get to know each other better. Sometimes, like an elder brother, Russell helps to teach them things. Once, he even took his own money and bought something for one of them. Of course, there are the usual little scuffies, just like between siblings.

5. Hu there been any memorable ezperi.ence?

L: The first child that came to us will always hold that significance. We were able to bring some happiness, some joy to her. There are always the positives, for example, knowing that you are providing them with opportunities that they don't currently have. However, it is not easy for these children to say "thank you". It is only when they grow older that they understand how you have helped. Our first foster child was in Primary 5 when she came to our family. She wrote a note to thank us when she made it to polytechnic and that was something really special.

6. 1here are now 310 children under foster care and only 254 foster parent.s reptered muler MSP's fostering scheme. What do you think are the major challenges in trying to get more people to join the 1cheme and why does it sometime• not work out?

L: The challenge starts early for the foster family. Th.e reality can be quite different from our expectations. The children usually do not understand why they were removed from their parents. They are grieving in a way, detached and confused, and find it hard to adjust to a new environment and to total strangers, especially if they are older. While MSP provides training for foster parents, some of these children come from very difficult circumstances and can be somewhat unpredictable. Some changes to the fostering family's lifestyle are usually required. For example, when the foster family goes on a holiday, they would need to arrange for alternative care with MSF as the foster child is usually not permitted to go along Such a situation is mostly not positive for everyone involved. The children already face a lot of rejection and disappointments, and it is tough for them to be reminded of their circumstances. As for the foster family, they can't help but feel guilty about leaving the foster child behind

R: Our faith as Christians really helps us a lot. We learn what real commitment and sacrifice are all about, and it is definitely not easy as every child is a fresh and unique challenge. Early on, we also had thoughts of giving up. Now, by the grace of God, after all the experiences, all the ups and downs, we feel that we are in a better position to help these children. As we struggle along and try to stay afloat with all our other obligations, we sometimes feel that God has abandoned us. Ironically, we eventually find greater comfort and closeness with God despite our struggles . In Mark 9:37, when the disciples were arguing about whom amongst them was the greatest, Jesus said to them, "Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, and whoever receives me, receives not me but Him who sent me ." We tend to forget, but we have certainly been blessed many times over in our fostering journey.

7. If one does not prefer to foster, bow can one continue to contribute to the fostering scheme?

L: Well, interested parties can be a befriender to the children's family under the Enable A Family (EAF) Volunteer Scheme. People can also help with transporting foster parents who do not drive, or help with other errands just to offer some reprieve to the foster family. There are not enough foster parents and families, but there are many children in need of foster care We would encourage Frankelites to consider being a part of this very meaningful ministry to children . "Truly, I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did it for me."

(Matthew 25:40)

GOD'S GRACE IN A FOREIGN LAND

Adeline Sebastian Subong is a baptized member of BFEC. She has been in Singapore for close to 20 years and is now working with a Christian family, working alongside her eldest daughter. Adeline shares her testimony of God's grace to her even as she lives and works in a foreign land.

My name is Adeline. I am from the Philippines and have been working in Singapore for about 20 years. First the first 18 years, I worked for a Buddhist family and had to assist them in burnt offerings regularly. After my elderly employer passed away, I decided to find a new employer. This was when a new chapter in my life began.

At that time, my younger daughter, Aileen was also working in Singapore but planned to return home to her husband and family. When she knew that I was looking for a new employer, Aileen approached her employer to consider hiring me. My older daughter, Adjelyn, had then just arrived to replace Aileen. Adjelyn prayed earnestly for us to be able to stay and work together. Thankfully, Adjelyn's employer believed in keeping the family together and thus they agreed to hire me as well I am very grateful to be able to now spend time with my older daughter every day. Praise the Lord for His grace upon my family!

Working and living in a Christian family, I was spiritually awakened. My desire to know Christ and follow Him grew. In the past, I resolved problems on my own. Now I have my daughter to pray with. We have more opportunities to encourage one another and we hold each other accountable. My daughter and I committed ourselves to baptism and we now serve in the International Fellowship.

My employers not only provided a safe place for my daughter and I to work, but also provided jobs for my nieces with their married sons and their families We meet regularly and my nieces have also been baptised in BFEC.

I am truly thankful to our God for lovingly protecting my family after my husband's passing some years back. Without God, my life will be very different. I cannot bear to even think oflife without Christ now.

Aileen, baptized 4 April 2010

Adje lyn (daughte r) on the left and Ad eline (mothe r) on the right

HANDS-ON DAD

Andrew and Amelia Chia share a very close father-daughter relationship. We had such fun reading their very candid sharing and are sure you would too!

Andrew, 61, is a law lecturer at Temasek Polytechnic. He enjoys bird photography and fishing. He is also an ardent fan of Manchester City Football Club. Andrew has served in Grow(@Noon (formerly, Senior Sunday School) for the past decade.

Amelia, 28, manages the beauty section of Harper's BAZAAR Singapore, a beauty and fashion magazine. When she's not writing about the latest lip colour trends, Amelia is pursuing her interests in fashion and travel. Following in her dad's footsteps, she has been serving in Grow(@Noon for the past six years.

Andrew: What'• it like being a hands-on dad

An African proverb says, "It takes a village to raise a child". I think it is certainly true in my case when I was thrust into the role of being a single parent when Amelia was about six years old. I am no "Super Dad". Like all fathers, I have to work to provide and to ensure that there are enough resources for the family. However when it came to raising Amelia, I was fortunate to have the support of my mother, my sister, her family and my live-in helper Julita. I am also fortunate that Amelia's mother continued to take a keen interest in her upbringing.

In her book, "It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us", Mrs Hillary Clinton notes the impact that individuals and groups outside the family have on a child's well-being for better or for worse. This is certainly true.

Many times a child goes astray because of the company he or she keeps. Therefore when Amelia was little, I recognized that Sunday School was important not only because of the many good lessons and values that are imparted, but also the company that is fostered. Some of Amelia's closest friends today date from her years growing up in Sunday School. Recognising the importance of what she learnt in church, I made sure that I followed her up in Junior and Senior Sunday Schools by attending lessons with her and volunteering as a helper and then, as a teacher.

At home, I think it is important to set a good example as a parent. It is pointless to teach, and sometimes "nag", if the child sees that the lesson being taught is not lived. Like most modem fathers, I take a hands-on approach to Amelia's upbringing. I have changed diapers, fed milk, burped, soothed and comforted. I have read storybooks, told stories and have been a comic and entertainer at times. I have arranged and followed Amelia to swimming and tennis classes and encouraged her when she started cycling.

I have failed in some areas. Try as I may, I have not succeeded in fostering in her the love of playing the piano or for ballet.

I would not change a single thing that I have done with Amelia. I am reminded of the fact that in 2 Timothy 1:5, faith is passed on from generation to generation. In the case of Timothy, Paul writes that the genuine faith of Timothy is due in no small part to his grandmother, Lois and his mother, Eunice. I pray that the same can be said for Amelia and I.

A-meJia: What'• it Wee having a hancla-on dad

I remember two things vividly from my childhood: my dad taping the bottom of our television screen so I couldn't read the English subtitles when watching Chinese dramas (in a bid to improve my Mandarin), and equating the amount of time I spent practising on the piano to time I had to play computer games.

From a young age, I surreptitiously peeled off the tape whenever my dad wasn't home. I also colluded with Auntie Julie, my live-in helper, to tell my dad that I had been on the piano for half an hour when I was only on it for a grand total of three minutes.

I never understood his intentions then, or why I had to be put through such "torture". I

already knew I was different from the rest of my classmates in primary school. Their dads only served as their drivers but my dad Googled my math homework, signed me up for piano, tennis and swimming lessons, bought my clothes, attended parent-teacher meetings and made sure we read chapters of the Bible together before every meal. My dad's sacrifices were second to none - he left law and ventured into teaching instead, all because it would free up time for me.

People always ask, "What's it like growing up with a single parent?" I shrug and say it's the only life I know. My dad has done everything in his capacity to raise me in the best way possible. He is my father, encourager, tutor, disciplinarian and comic relief all rolled into one. He stressed out when my grades weren't ideal, cried when I did miraculously better than expected in my '/:\ level exams, argued with me when I refused to go to law school, and finally supported me when I decided to be a journalist. He now flaunts my work in a fashion magazine to his friends and colleagues, even if they know nothing about the subject.

My dad and I have a special relationship. Those awkward teenage years when I was too cool to be seen with my father have now transcended into a

loving appreciation for who he is and what he has done for me. Now, he has candid conversations with my friends, hangs out with my cousins and I at theme parks and the movies, and travels yearly with me.

I often got comments like "You're not a typical only child," or "You're very well brought up for someone who was raised by a single parent". As much as I disagree with the spoilt or delinquent stereotypes society places on children from onlychild or single parent families, I usually utter a casual "thank my father" in response.

Proverbs 22:6 is the verse that encapsulates his upbringing of me - "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." I'm now well equipped in this life, and by the grace and strength of God, I will hopefully go on to have my own family someday and do exactly with my children what my father had done with me.

Taped up televisions and grueling piano practices notwithstanding, I wouldn't have it any other way.

SPURRING ONE ANOTHER ON

In this issue, we highlight the change of leadership in the Chinese Ministry of BFEC. Let us pray for this ministry and also for the other ministries featured, namely the Ladies Group, the International Fellowship, Grow(@Noon and Bethesda Katong Kindergarten.

Chinese Ministry Leadership change

On Sunday 5 October 2014, the Elders commended Elder Chong Kum Wah as the Chinese Ministry's new chairman. He takes over from Elder Ong Paak Loey, who had served faithfully since 1992. Council Chairman Elder Jimmy Tan announced the appointment and thanked and affirmed Elder Paak Loey who continues as pastoral staff and Executive Elder.

The leadership change comes with a renewed call to all members to join in the ministry's efforts to grow the work, be more integrated as a church, and reach out to even more Chinese-speaking friends and relatives. Members who are led to serve in this ministry are encouraged to speak with Elder Kum Wah.

Ladies Group 49th Anniversary Celebration

The Ladies Group celebrated their 49th anniversary on Tuesday 19 August 2014. The group commemorates its anniversary every year in the month of August. Over 100 people attended our 49th anniversary celebration. We are thankful to God for seeing us through these 49 years. The evening celebration was opened to the ladies, their families and friends whom they invited. This year, we invited members of our foreign migrant workers group from India and China to join us. We were all blessed by Dr Tan Lai Yong's message. It was meaningful and practical. We were also blessed by a

combination of two culturesthe Indians and the Chinese. They gave heart-warming testimonies and entertained the congregation with songs in their own ethnic languages. A group of ladies called "The Praise Dancers" showed us what they have done to keep themselves fit. The celebration ended with a spread of delicious homemade food contributed mainly by the ladies. There was time for members to interact with the speaker and the guests. Praise God for His work among the ladies and bringing good speakers each week to share with us.

Mathew 18:20

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them ...

Indeed God's presence was with us as we held our annual Friendship Picnic on Sunday 31 August 2014 at the East Coast Parkway. It was a time for us to invite our pre-believing friends for a fun-filled time of worshipping God through songs, games and food. We thank God for answering our prayer with warm sunshine and cool breezes. By God's grace, we were blessed with a private function room where we could hang loose, snap plenty of selfies and wefies and be served with sumptuous Korean fare.

This picnic was also a platform for us to invite our friends to our evangelistic Thanksgiving celebration to be held on 30 November 2014. Through these outreach events, we share how blessed we are as Christians and how we can depend on our God to carry us through life's stresses. International Fellowship is like a home away from home.

We would like to thank BFEC for spiritual covering and to generous Frankelites for their sponsorship of food and door gifts.

1 Corinthians12:12

For just as the body is one and has many members and all the members of the body, through many, are one body, so it is with Christ.

International Fellowship Annual Friendship Day and Thanksgiving Celebration

National Day Prayer Walk with Grow {a) Nooners

G@N has participated in several National Day prayer walks. A few stand out in my mind: around One Fullerton (2006), Hortpark (2008), and Orchard Road (2013).

In July, Daryl, one of our leaders, suggested Hong Lim Park. What better place to meet and pray for forgiveness and mercy on our nation!

So on Sunday 10 August, 80 G@Nooners, including some parents who graciously provided lunch, gathered at 9.00 am. In small groups, we walked around Hong Lim to pray for government leaders and offices by name, for salvation upon Singapore, for our neighbors, for us to be a kinder neighbour.

Why Prayer Walk?

God wants us to pray, that "the word will spread rapidly" (2 Thessalonians 3:1). To teach the next generation to pray, we must pray with them.

BKK Concert

It was truly a momentous occasion in the lives of the 106 graduating K2 children when they walked smartly in their graduation gowns and mortar boards into the Church Hall to receive their first certificates. We are proud of the way these children have grown to be the young boys and girls that they are now.

Besides the graduation ceremony, the annual concert is also something very special. There is nothing like watching the thrill on a child's face when the curtains open to show the excitement and buzz they are feeling inside or the rewarding moment on stage they must feel when they complete the dance and song performance they had put in much effort to learn and practise.

~~tt<.J~t.klll~, 1£~~~.R

ffl.M. [qj,t,,,a- jJ ~-· 7 ~jff =

1-J:L t&r.t ~:nmtJJl«H~· .

~-r-tEAF.1 =i" a ff muam

*fr-

r.1:~a1n1c~ait!OM~ >x

a<J~t.kl&~, ~ii.±A~, eJJ

~JII±it1. it tB ~;i!fffl.:1i R.m.ntJ

W.H~J • a<J f.klll~itl.ffl. 11'

11.±ft(J~ffl, Ji~ftfnt91mE

iii" Antlt:Bf.f$, ~~t9--*

~*ffi"±.a<J~.itlf&.,ijij~.

~:(:Eia: rcJ 1J1l ii~ ~3t ffi3$ I~

IIHI~ -1' m~ilo

~~~tl!IR~a<.l-*~

~~El31'1lr•11tt~A'91R

~~,u~~it~*1~1&. tt:H

J:13.liA~~A~Jf. ~M.iEJfiffi

il. llkJn~~.

Jl':!JiJ2 !MclTiPi£fJB!iifr sI

Uir ij!I:-~tfk lltl" "i5"F.I M

"I ffi~;l~~O ••1&

G{~ m1.t.a<.i 1s 'it.'3 ~1n *~

11.a<J ffi.ffl. - "F.1 fklA!:E" o ffl&

w•~±. aJl':~giliffl®ir.

~lm1ll*~~sffi.:Eo 11.:Eli.

f.j. ~m ff ft(J fill -=fMtt PfiJi a<J

*~'t.' EII q:i, i'~;&.!§i1'mflB, ~~-893Ja.J~~. *~fmM

1£~..t!Hl~ i;.

SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD?

In the first issue of READY, Janis Lim shared her thoughts about what it means to enjoy the children whom God has blessed us with. In this follow up to that article, Janis reflects on the tricky issue of discipline and how we, as parents, can effectively discipline in love.

Some time ago, I started to read the classic parenting book "Dare to Discipline" by Dr James Dobson. I left it in the living room one day and my fi.ve year old picked it up. As he read the title aloud, I froze. What would he think of me reading a book with such a title?

Treading carefully, I asked Jeremiah, i shouldn't read this book. is it?" Time stood still for a moment as I awaited his reply.

The Bible says, "Whoever spares the rod hates their children. but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them: (Proverbs 13:24)

"Hate" - isn't that too strong a word to use? I thought so. Yet more than 10 different translations of the Bible consistently interprets the original Hebrew word in this verse as "hate", highlighting the crucial importance of discipline in raising our children. It took me a long time to fully appreciate this verse. In fact, before I became a mother, I had been audacious enough to think that this verse in the Bible was outdated and that we can choose to talk nicely to our children without the need for discipline1 •

Discipline is defined as "training [a child] to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience"'-. Hence, the motivation of discipllne is love. I should not hit

1. I had, pemaps, been subconsc;iously influenced by a fair ly rec:ent concept developed and made famous by the revolutionary Dr Benj1min Spock in the 1950s-1960s. Dr Spock 1dvoc.ted th1t children should be uillced to, understood end even complied with, versus being disciplined as in centuries past. A biography later reYilllled th1t Dr Spock had suffered much under In over-controlling mother with werped ide.s of marriage end sex. His own femily was troubled with alcoholism, depression, divorce and suicide. He retncted some of his origin1I ideu in his best-selling book "Biby 1nd Child Care8 •

2 . www.011forddictionaries.com

my child out of sheer anger, not even when that is triggered by a wrong or naughty act on his part. Instead, I should discipline him because I love him and want him to learn what is right. My husband, Derek, and I have been blessed to have a more mature couple in church, Jimmy and Monika Tan, mentor us since our courtship days (of bliss and ignorance) to our current season (of needs and trials) as parents to two boys. One piece of advice which we cherish a lot is on how to carry out discipline with love.

This was what Monika said, "I use a wooden spoon to give a firm smack on the palm. A wise woman taught me to place this spoon in a hardto-reach place so that, on my way to retrieving it, I can pray and commit my emotions to the Lord. Then, when I finally reach the spoon and prepare to smack my child with it, I will be able to do it out oflove, not anger "

I took it, applied it and voila! it works. I place my wooden spoon on a high kitchen cupboard so that each time I need it, I use the time walking towards it to commit my anger or frustration to the Lord and I ask Him to help me. This way, I am sure that every time I smack my child, it is carried out with a calm spirit surrendered to God.

Yet, I have realized the great significance of the tender moments in the aftermath. With lots of hugs and kisses, it becomes a good time to reassure the child that I love him despite what he has done and to reaffirm my love for him no matter what he does in the future. By the grace of God, our bond deepens after sessions like these!

Now, back to the somewhat awkward situation in my living room. With his pensive eyes still on the cover of the book, Jeremiah replied, "You should read it, Mummy, because sometimes I do wrong things and you have to discipline me." (emphasis his)

It rendered me completely speechless. Even though it is no secret how much he hates my wooden spoon, my child knows my heart! And he is not alone. I once heard of a story about a father disciplining his screaming son in a public car park. A stranger walked up to the father and threatened to call the police. His son immediately stopped screaming, turned to his father and said, "What is wrong with her?". He understood the need for discipline even though he may not have been happy to be on the receiving end. Isn't that amazing? What the Bible teachesto discipline out of love - is not only possible but proves so true that even the little ones can see the need for it . This blows my mind. Thank You, God!

The essence of discipline is summed up very nicely by Dr Dobson who said, "The goal of proper child rearing... is not to produce perfect kids ... The objective, as I see it, is to take the raw material with which our babies arrive on this earth, and then gradually mould it into mature, responsible, and God-fearing adults."3

The stone cannot carve itself. We are the carvers, our hands guided by God's wisdom.

3. "The New Dare to Discipline" by Dr James Dobson

WHAT SOME PARENTS THINK ...

"While I've always subscribed to this biblical teaching in Proverbs 13:24, I am increasingly convinced of the place of tenderness in the way I nurture and raise my children."

- Mothers' Bible study and support group leader, Chow Weng Khay

"No discipline feels good when it is happening. When parents discipline, we help our children to live within the behavioural boundaries set for their well-being and correcting them when they violate those boundaries."

- Missonary and counsellor Pauline Wang

"Use the rod sparingly and never as a first or only resort. Explain reasons for its use and always, always assure your children of your love."

"We practise Proverbs 13:24 in raising our three children not only because it works but because it is true, coming from the Word of God "

- Elder Quek Mong Hua

- Deacon Kiang Tzy Peng

......

An

easy way to help the PeopJe around You is to bring a Sl1:lile to their facesJ