Language Analysis #1: “The shore was fledged with palm trees. These stood or leaned or reclined against the light and their green feathers were a hundred feet up in the air. The ground beneath them was a bank covered with coarse grass, torn everywhere by the upheavals of fallen trees, scattered with decaying coconuts and palm saplings. Behind this was the darkness of the forest proper and the open space of the scar. Ralph stood, one hand against a grey trunk, and screwed up his eyes against the shimmering water. Out there, perhaps a mile away, the white surf flinked on a coral reef, and beyond that the open sea was dark blue. Within the irregular arc of coral the lagoon was still as a mountain lake - blue of all shades and shadowy green and purple. The beach between the palm terrace and the water was a thin stick, endless apparently, for to Ralph’s left the perspectives of palm and beach and water drew to a point at infinity; and always, almost visible, was the heat” - Lord of the Flies by William Golding.
Planning What is the subject of this description? The main subject is the beach. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader? The author covers the images he sees in the corners, behind and in front and even above the beach in this passage. i) The author first describes the palm trees surrounding the shore. They “leaned or reclined against the light”. He refers the leaves of the palm trees to “green feathers” due to the similarity in shape. ii) The author then describes the ground beneath as a “bank covered with coarse grass”, “torn by the upheavals of fallen trees”, “scattered with decaying coconuts and palm saplings”. This gives a very dirty and messy atmosphere. iii) The next description is about the forest behind. It was “proper” and behind was also the “open space of the scar”. iv) I researched and found out that “flinked” isn’t a word. It has been invented by the author. v) The rest of the passage talks about how the sea seemed for Ralph, the main character. How does this impact on the way you ‘see’ the subject in your imagination? I’ve always imagined the beach as a calm and peaceful place. But I never really looked into the intricacies of the beach liked shown in this passage as perhaps I just indulge myself into deep thoughts along with the chill breeze.
After reading this passage, I see the shore as a slightly more active engaged place and I think I might look into the descriptions mentioned here when I’m at the beach. What images does the author use throughout the piece? The author creates a very pleasant atmosphere throughout. The main image throughout is a still scene of the beach. The author describes everything he sees around him - to the sides, in front, up and below. What dominant impression do these techniques develop? These techniques develop a very dominant impression of a tranquil and undisturbed beach. The tone is very calm and the reader can relate very well to the scene. What unique observations has the author made? i) “the white surf flinked on a coral reef” ii) “Within the irregular arc of coral the lagoon was still as a mountain lake” List of strong vocabulary used i) Fledged ii) Reclined iii) Coarse iv) Upheavals v) Decaying vi) Darkness vii) Scar viii) Grey trunk ix) Shimmering water x) White surf xi) Perspectives xii) Heat xiii) Infinity xiv) Lagoon Senses used i) Feel - the heat ii) See - the beach and all the details described iii) Sound - clinking of the white surf.
Discussion as a whole The author uses a selection of visual imagery to capture the reader’s attention into the beach and its features. He suggests that the shore was “fledged” with palm trees. Fledge means to have wing feathers that are large enough for flight; able to fly for birds. This creates the initial impression of palm trees seeming to be very light and to cover the sun’s shine acting like a skyscraper. This image is further developed in the next sentence as the author compares the “fledged” leaves to “feathers” and has mentioned the height above the ground. But the author changes the mood of the passage in the following sentence by using the word “upheavals”. This word signifies a violent or sudden change or disruption to something. One can visually see the change in scene - from the elegant trees to the dark forest with its dirty ground. And the author sets the dominant impression henceforth. The author has been able to transform the readers view of the beach through the use of the strong verbs and words used. For example, I researched and found out that the word “flinked” doesn’t exist. Perhaps the author used this word to show two actions - flinching and clinking and to show that this beach is definitely out of place. The author also uses strong words like “upheavals” and “scar” to create a dark side of the beach. Such words make this perspective of the beach also very prominent.
Re-written passage Walking along the dry angelic beach, the bright sun is nearly hot enough to cover the shore in an invisible blanket of warmth. The beautiful, big blue ocean's waves are crashing against the cliffs as the seagulls joyfully fly around in circles in the air. Screams of surfers tumbling here and there can be heard from the light-house sitting at the head of the beach. The warm, golden sand runs across accompanied by the gentle breeze. The sunlight seems to be glittering on every grain of sand. This is the beach idyllic, white and fresh. Shiny shells which have been washed into the shore by the rippling of the water lay elegantly on the sand bathing the sun’s warmth. With slot machines and ice-cream vendors all over the place, it seems like a perfect destination spot. People lie on it’s soft pillow-like sand sipping some sort of exquisite cocktail and enjoying nature’s beauty. The sea washes in, a small wave, across the sand dissolving the remaining footprint of its inhabitants. The sail boats, so elegant in design, dock at a local harbor, as the captains of each ship slowly step on to the dry land like aliens landing on a strange planet. The joyous harmony found at this place is one never to be missed.
Rationale I decided to change the mood of this passage from a dull atmosphere to a calm and happy atmosphere with the help of the words and imagery used. I speak about a lot of details of the beach to show the number of things going on in the beach. My introduction to the beach begins with the phrase “dry angelic beach”. I wanted to describe the beach as a dry place in order for the reader to realize that this is summer when the sun is at its peak. I used the word “angelic” not only because it suits nicely but because the beach is like a heaven where the angels have blessed us to relax in one of nature’s finest beauty. This prominent imagery is carried on to the next part of the sentence where I describe the sun’s heat as a “blanket”. We use a blanket to keep us warm and so this word further enhances this image. I then move away from the image of the sun to the sea and its “crashing” waves. Though this may contradict to the dominant impression, it makes the reader visualize the height of the waves and the perfect weather for surfing which has been described in the following sentence. I have mentioned the light-house at the top to indicate that this place is a dock as well. Throughout this passage, I used simple language yet specific ones in order to show the simplicity of life present in this beach.
Language Analysis #2: “The flames were mastering the branches, the bark was curling and falling away, the wood exploding. The tent fell inwards and flung a wide circle of light over the mountain-top” - Lord of the Flies by William Golding. Planning: What is the subject of this description? The main subject of this passage is the fireplace. Along with this is a sentence about the description of the tents. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader? i) The flames of the wire are described to be very violent and harsh through the words “mastering”, “bark” and “exploding”. ii) The tent is shown to be affected by the violence of the flame through the words “fell” and “flung”. How does this impact on the way you ‘see’ the subject in your imagination? It doesn’t change the stereotypical image of a wild fire but it helps set the scene. No one would expect a wildfire on the mountain-top. It also tells us the extent of the violence caused as the tents moved.
What dominant impression do these techniques develop? This whole extract is an image. Every phrase used here signifies and symbolizes something. The main subject, the fire, itself symbolizes warmth, pain, death, etc. This passage is open to interpretation. What dominant impression do these techniques develop? These techniques of imagery brings out the dominant impression of a bright yet vicious night (perhaps). What unique observations has the author made? The author has managed to observe the movement of the tent and the shape of light it created. List of strong vocabulary used “mastering”,“bark”,”exploding”,”flung”. Senses used Vision - the whole extract Sound - “exploding” flames of the fire
Discussion as a whole Though this is fairly a small passage, or an extract perhaps, this passage is open to a variety of unique interpretations. The first word in this extract ‘flame’ instantly gives away that this extract has a vicious atmosphere as fire symbolizes pain, violence and death. This dominant impression is then continued with the author describing the flames to be “mastering the branches”. I didn’t quite understand this sentence at first. But after several reads, I realized that perhaps this talks about the sparks given out by the fire which look like branches. This creates a very damaging image as fire sparks are very dangerous to human life. Also, the tent is shown to be affected by the flames as it “fell inwards” and “flung”. The next part of this sentence “flung a wide circle of light over the mountain-top” was very hard to understand as it wouldn’t make sense if the tent was giving of light. The author has managed to observe the movement of the tent and the shape of light it created. Perhaps this phrase is to help with the location of this fire place. This whole extract is an image. Every phrase used here signifies and symbolizes something. The main subject, the fire, itself symbolizes warmth, pain, death, etc.
Language Analysis #3: “A giant of a man was standing in the doorway. His face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard,
but you would make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair. The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all” - Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone by J.K.Rowling.
Discussion The main focus of this passage is about a man. Though it is in a form of a narrative, it describes in detail of all the aspects of this man. The most dominant impression the reader can infer from this extract is that this man is big and this can be made from the first word in this paragraph “giant”. To develop this impression further more, this man is told to be having very “long, shaggy mane of hair” covering his face. The word “mane” suggests the length of the hair and “shaggy” suggests the shape. He then has a “wild, tangles beard’. All this makes the reader realize this man is very old as well. Now with messy and long hair and with a tangling beard, one would presume that he wouldn’t be very intelligent. However, it is the exact opposite. The next part of this sentence suggest that his eyes stand out “glinting like black beetles”. Glint means to shine with a particular emotion. This man is old and so might have disturbing personal issues and therefore his eyes are glinting like black beetles. Eyes also represent knowledge and wisdom. Since his eyes is still prominent after so hair covering his face, it could mean that he is very wise. We learn more about this man as we continue to read this passage. We learn that he is fat because he has to “squeeze” into the hut. But the second last sentence is very vague. It tells us that he “picked up the door, and fitted back easily into its frame”. This could probably suggest that he is an ogre as a normal human would not be able to perform such an act. Overall, this passage has been effective in creating an image of an aged and man.
Rewritten Passage A lilliput was standing at the entrance of the old church gate on Chapel Avenue. Her curly shiny blond hair fell down her shoulder perfectly. Her fringe covered her right eye slightly and she wore a red bow. Her skin was as white as snow and her lips as pink as rose. She wore a red mini-dress with white pumps to look tall. Yet from the far of distance, she still remained as a lilliput.
Rationale I decided to change the gender of the character and the personalities from a giant to a lilliput. The words I used like “curly, “shiny”, “red” and the phrases “white as snow” and “pink as rose” help further enhance this impression. The mood of the original passage is dull but this one is happy. It tells what a
Language Analysis #4: From Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood
Discussion The main subject of this passage are the ponies. The author has been successful in crafting such an imagery in the readers mind. A gravel is a loose aggregation of small water-worn or pounded stones. This sets the scene. The ponies are “growing” in a small place and not a farm. The author then describes their behavior. The phrase “testing the air like snail’s eyes” stands out the most. A snail’s eye is said to be very sharp and can see far of objects clearly. Its precision is extremely good. Therefore, I think that the author is trying to suggest that these ponies are slightly sensitive to the air and therefore sniff the air with much attention. The next description of the horses are the “swelling and opening”. I didn’t know the meaning of this phrase until it struck to my mind that perhaps this could signify the opening and closing of the nostrils to show the depth of breathing. This creates a very intense description and the reader is able to visually see this.