Mind Body +
FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
PARTY OF ONE
5 LOCAL SPOTS PERFECT FOR A DATE WITH YOURSELF
TAKE A BREAK RECLAIM PEACE OF MIND WITH A SOCIAL MEDIA VACATION
the
LOVE
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M+B
contents FEB/MAR 2017
12 ASPIRE
7 PARTY OF ONE 5 local spots perfect for a date with yourself
10 EASY DAY TRIPS
5 quick get-a-ways to get you out of the house
12 MAKE A MATCH Two Fort Collins love experts are pairing up couples the old fashioned way
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LOOKING FOR LOVE
A look at finding new love in the digital age
28 CULTIVATE
CHALLENGE YOUR PALATE 4 5 local dishes that offer something out of the ordinary READ UP
10
6
NOURISH
24
TAKE A BREAK
Social media vacations offer perspective and reclaim peace-of-mind
28 FOOD WITH HEART Recipes that will take you back to childhood in a single bite
32 LOVE IS IN THE AIR 2 cocktails for lovers from Ace Gillett’s
5 great books to read with a cup of tea
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 1
Mind+Body President/Publisher Kathy Jack-Romero kathyjackromero@coloradoan.com Editorial Director Lauren Gustus lgustus@coloradoan.com Executive Editor Kristin Deily kdeily@coloradoan.com Graphic Designer Erika Moore erikamoore@coloradoan.com Interim Advertising Director Ryan Young ryoung@coloradoan.com Production Manager Matt Varns mattvarns@coloradoan.com
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2 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
©2016 Coloradoan Media Group. All rights reserved. PLEASE NOTE that the articles contained in this publication are meant to increase reader awareness of developments in the health field. Its contents should not be construed as medical advice or health instruction on individual health matters, which should be obtained directly from a health professional.
EDITOR’S LETTER
LOVE
comes in all forms THE THEME OF THIS ISSUE when it was being planned was tentatively decided as “Modern Love.” Obviously, February tends to evoke thoughts of romance and hearts and other symbols associated with Valentine’s Day. But, as usual, M+B didn’t want to take the season quite that literally. Instead, we tried to focus on different kinds of love. Romantic love, yes, but also love of self (take yourself on an epic date with the help of our lists on Page 7), lost and found love (our cover story on Page 16, and the love we seek from the masses (a look at social media and self-perception on Page 24). While romance and grand gestures are wonderful, they are not the only goal or measure of love and the worth of relationships. And for that matter, the definition of love extends so far beyond romantic love, and all of those things deserve to be talked about, too. M+B is happy to share with you the things we are thinking about, talking about, and loving this winter. So mix up one of the awesome cocktails from Ace Gillett’s Ray Harvey (Page 32), and settle in for a while with us. Cheers!
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Kristin Deily Executive Editor kdeily@coloradoan.com
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C U LT I V A T E TA S T E
LOOKING FOR A CULINARY ADVENTURE IN 2017? FORT COLLINS HAS JUST WHAT YOU ORDERED.
FIVE WAYS TO CHALLENGE YOUR PALATE 4
W RI TTEN BY H O LLY GRA H A M
New foods are sometimes hard to stomach— pun intended— especially if they are a little off-thewall, or culturally different. Fort Collins’ restaurants offer a range of
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food options, and some of them might be items you have never thought to try, but should. These eyebrow-raising foods are sure to delight your taste buds— if you can get past the 1
4 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
thought of them.
CITY DRUG
2
1 ROCKY MOUNTAIN OYSTERS The Colorado Room 642 South College Ave, Fort Collins thecoloradoroom.com No, Rocky Mountain Oysters are not from the sea and no, they are not actually oysters either. Many people cringe at the thought of consuming bull testicles, but after the daunting initial bite, the deep fried goodness goes down easy.
2 LENGUA La Luz 200 Walnut St., Fort Collins laluzgrill.com Although beef tongue is a popular dish throughout many parts of the world, it still might be a little intimidating to try for the first time. The beef tongue that La Luz prepares is braised and grilled then served with onion, cilantro, tomatillo, salsa and guajillo aioli.
3 CRISPY CALAMARI SPECIALTY PIE Nick’s Homestyle Italian 1100 College Ave, Fort Collins nicksfc.com Push your taste buds’ comfort zones with a pizza complete with crispy squid. The calamari accompanies tomato sauce, mozzarella, arugula and cherry pepper aioli to add a new spin to the classic dish. Anything tastes good on pizza, right?
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4 CEVICHE Fish 150 West Oak St., Fort Collins fishmkt.com Ceviche is a traditional Peruvian dish where raw seafood is cured in the juice of citrus such as limes and lemons. Fish’s ceviche sports cod, shrimp, squid, onion, cilantro and Cholula in a citrus marinade with house chips on the side.
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BBQ PULLED JACKFRUIT
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As the largest tree-borne fruit in the world, a single jackfruit can grow to weigh more than 80 lbs. The fruit itself is a great source of protein, potassium, calcium and iron, the seeds can be ground into flour, and the timber is durable and can be used as a building material. When cooked, this strange fruit tastes like pulled pork and is a great alternative to meat.
CITY DRUG 209 N. College Ave Fort Collins, CO 80524 970-482-1234
Mon- Fri: 9am - 6pm Sat: 10am - 5pm Sun: 12pm - 2pm COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 5
C U LT I V A T E HOME
FIVE GREAT BOOKS
TO READ WITH A CUP OF TEA
Nothing beats a snowy morning, a hot cup of tea and a book. Now these pairings are simply suggestions, but they might be the perfect way to celebrate a lazy day indoors. W RI TT E N BY H O L LY G R A H A M
WRIT T E N BY K RIST IN OWEN S
A STUDY IN SCARLET
THE SUN ALSO RISES
Arthur Conan Doyle
Ernest Hemingway
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson make their first appearance in this 1887 mystery novel. Holmes’ efficiency and drive that emanates through the pages would pair well with a classic and robust English breakfast tea.
Hemingway based “The Sun Also Rises” on a 1925 trip he took to Spain. He was so passionate about the novel that he drafted its entirety within two months between mid July and September of 1925. The novel’s themes of love, death, renewal in nature and the nature of masculinity would pair well with a hearty herbal or green tea.
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THE PROFESSOR Charlotte Bronte “The Professor” was Charlotte Bronte’s first novel, although it wasn’t published until 1857— two years after her death. The Professor is told through the perspective of a young man, William Crimsworth, who struggles to find balance between education, religion, love and family. Bronte’s works helped pave the way for female writers and The Professor might pair well with Earl Grey.
THREE CUPS OF TEA
SNOW FALLING ON CEDARS
David Oliver Relin and Greg Mortenson
David Guterson
“Three Cups of Tea” spent four years on the New York Times Bestseller List. The non-fiction story follows Mortenson on his humanitarian path to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. While there has been some scandal surrounding this title, the book is still a good read. Pair this book with the classic flavors of black tea. “The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family...”
This heart-wrenching 1994 novel intertwines several fictional stories. The novel was an immediate best seller and was adapted into a 1999 film that was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Cinematography then was later adapted for stage. A sweet vanilla rooibos tea will help counteract the themes of war, love and loss.
ASPIRE GET OUT
FIVE PLACES TO TAKE YOURSELF ON A DATE W RI TT E N BY H O L LY GR A H A M
Sometimes the best thing you can do is to set aside some time for yourself. In the hustle and bustle of a busy life, you might just need to get away. Here are a few ideas that might help spark some you-time.
HAPPY LUCKY’S TEAHOUSE Two locations at 236 Walnut St. and 2720 Council Tree Ave. #166, Fort Collins happyluckys.com This local gem is a great place to sit, read a book, do homework or just contemplate life. Visitors can choose from more than 180 loose-leaf teas— the largest selection in Colorado. The staff is friendly and is eager to help in the decision process, plus once you buy one pot of tea, you can ask for it to be re-steeped as many times as you wish with no extra charge.
SOCIAL 1 Old Town Sq. #7, Fort Collins socialfortcollins.com Take a glance into the Prohibition Era at Social. Descend the stairs to the underground bar, pull up a stool and watch the bartenders work their magic while you sip a cocktail and snack on hors d’oeuvres. This is a great place to treat yourself with a quiet night on the town.
SWETSVILLE ZOO 4801 East Harmony Rd., Timnath This is not your typical zoo due to the fact that none of the animals are alive. The creatures at the Swetsville Zoo are made by Bill Swets, a retired farmer who found a passion in scrap
metal. He makes the creatures out of old cars and other metal scraps. Spend some alone time and take the afternoon to wander around Swetsville Zoo and appreciate the art made from extreme recycling.
PINBALL JONES 107 Linden St., Fort Collins pinballjones.com Grab a beer and get lost in a game of pinball. With more than 20 games, this underground pinball bar is a great place to unwind after a long workweek. Slap that silver ball like you wish you could slap your boss.
SUNRISE AT HORSETOOTH RESERVOIR Looking for something a little out of the ordinary to clear your head and spend some quality youtime? Drive up to the top, east side of Horsetooth Reservoir on County Road 23 in the wee hours of the morning while the sky is still dark. Make sure you bundle up, bring a thermos of coffee or hot chocolate and a folding chair. Park your car in the top lot on the left hand side of the road, cross the road and set up your chair where the view of the city is best. Snuggle in and get ready for the most incredible sunrise spot Fort Collins has to offer.
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LOVE WELL LIVE WELL Dr. Michelle Glasgow, a family medicine physician with Kaiser Permanente Fort Collins, discusses the connection between health and relationships.
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No discussion of love and relationships would be complete without some perspective from a pro. Dr. Michelle Glasgow is a primary care physician with Kaiser Permanente, Fort Collins, and her perspective on healthy relationships is a somewhat unique one. As a physician, she sees what many others may miss when a relationship is healthy or unhealthy for her patients, and agreed to share with us the advice she gives her patients on forging a healthy and happy relationship with your significant other. Because Dr. Glasgow sees some of her patients frequently, there are some tell-tale signs that will lead her to ask some questions about a patient’s relationship. “When I know someone well, I can usually tell something is going on if their style of dress or presentation suddenly changes, or their general attitude or energy is just low. I also look out for patients who usually come in with their spouse or partner and suddenly start coming in alone,” Dr. Glasgow said. Dr. Glasgow also pointed to unsuccessful relationships as one of the top causes of depression in her patients. Some of the other
Michelle Glasgow, M.D., is a family medicine physician practicing at the Kaiser Permanente Fort Collins Medical Offices.
She also reiterated the fundamental pillar of all relationship success: communication is key. “Open communication doesn’t just mean being willing to state your grievances to your partner. It also means being a listener, and really hearing what your partner says. Listening should be about trying to understand, not just waiting for your turn to talk,” Dr. Glasgow clarified.
“I tell people to try to be positive with the negative. We are good at telling others what we don’t like, and we should always tell our partner if we don’t like something. But we should also tell them what we do like,” Dr. Glasgow said. “If you love it when your partner kisses you immediately when they
“If you love it when your partner kisses you immediately when they get home from work, or when they text you in the middle of the day, you should tell them that.” possible health concerns that result from unhealthy relationships include anxiety, as well as a general lack of motivation to engage with hobbies or healthy activities. “Oftentimes when I start asking questions I find out that their relationships with others are going downhill as well as a result. I also always look at sudden behavioral changes or problems with a couple’s children as a possible sign of an unhealthy relationship between parents. Kids are sometimes reacting to that relationship by acting out,” Dr. Glasgow said. When couples see their relationships slipping down an unhealthy path, Dr. Glasgow has some tried and true advice. “I always tell people to really go back to what attracted them to their partner in the first place. People often lose what brought them together in the course of a relationship. Really focus on the ‘why’ of starting your relationship in the beginning and move forward from there,” Dr. Glasgow said.
get home from work, or when they text you in the middle of the day, you should tell them that.” Dr. Glasgow is a firm believer that in romantic relationships, a healthy sex life is also key. This doesn’t mean meeting a quota every week or month, but mutual enjoyment and comfort. “In any sexual relationship, consent should be asked and open. Sex should always be mutually wanted, and not an obligation or a solution to a fight. Makeup sex creates bad relationships,” Dr. Glasgow said. “In committed relationships – any sexual relationships – it is important to know what the other person is comfortable with,” Dr. Glasgow said. “It should be communicated by asking and really hearing what turns each other on and what is ok and what isn’t. Saying ‘no’ to something doesn’t mean someone doesn’t love their partner, it just means they are uncomfortable. And that kind of communication and respect should always be ok.”
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 9
ASPIRE GET OUT
FIND SUMMER IN THE DEAD OF WINTER
FIVE COLORADO DAY-TRIPS TO WARM UP W RITTE N BY HO L LY G R A H A M
Spring is months away and now that the holidays are over, the winter drones on. Luckily, Colorado offers plenty of escapes to shake off the cold and remember that warm days will be here soon. Sometimes short sleeves or a bathing suit are just what winter called for.
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GLENWOOD HOT SPRINGS RESORT 401 North River St. Glenwood Springs, CO hotspringspool.com The hot springs at Glenwood are the perfect place for a day trip. Go, get away, spend the night if you want and enjoy the cleansing feeling of natural and mineral rich water. Close your eyes, forget winter and just let that hot water wrap you up like a sunny July afternoon. The resort offers a spa and lodging as well, so be sure to make reservations.
BUTTERFLY PAVILION 6252 West 104th Ave. Westminster, CO butterflies.org Spring is all year round at Westminster’s Butterfly Pavilion. The warm rooms, where visitors can engage with the butterflies, will make you forget all about the chilly air outside. Face your fears and hold Rosie the tarantula and spend time watching other creatures scurry around their enclosures.
FISKE PLANETARIUM AT UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO BOULDER 2414 Regent Drive Boulder, CO colorado.edu/fiske/ Get lost in the stars and pretend you are gazing up at the twinkly lights from the green grass of warmer months. Fiske Planetarium offers several daily shows to teach spectators about the wonders of the solar system.
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Leave the kids at home and experience your own sense of warmth at the Woodhouse Day Spa. This spa offers a range of services and complimentary drinks while you wait. A day at the spa is sure to invigorate your senses, enliven your spirit and make the rest of winter seem bearable.
Who says water parks are only for the summer? Colorado’s first indoor water park opened on December 26, is 50,000 square feet and maintains a summery 84 degree temperature at all times. The resort also offers 311 hotel rooms, restaurants, miniature golf, an arcade, bowling alley and more.
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 11
ASPIRE GET CENTERED
Matchmaker Matchmaker WR I T T E N BY CAS SA N I E D R I N G HAU S
Finding love takes much more than a
computer formula. So say local matchmakers, Robert and Vera Gregg. Their business, Love Bug, has thrived and grown, even amidst the saturation of internet dating services. In fact, internet services have helped their business by de-stigmatizing and raising the public awareness of matchmaking services they said. When Vera took her first job as a matchmaker 25 years ago in California, people would cover their faces as they climbed the stairs to the office. People don’t do that when they come to the Midtown Fort Collins office now. “Nowadays, there’s no issue at all,” Vera said. “People are excited.” The couple currently has more than 3,000 clients for whom they make matches and try to facilitate relationships, and the business shows no signs of slowing down. “We’re probably stronger now than we’ve ever been,” Robert said. Local love seekers obviously see the value in a more hands-on approach, but for those who have never experienced a matchmaker the process seems mysterious. Basically, it works like this: New clients come to the office for a consultation. They take personality and compatibility tests. They also fill out a survey of their interests and preferences, noting such things as whether or not they want to have children, their religion and their level of physical activity. Robert and Vera spend several hours getting to know the clients and talking about their past relationships and what has and hasn’t worked. All the information is recorded in paper files, which are stored in a row of eight file cabinets that flank one wall of the office.
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VERA & ROBERT GREGG OWNERS & MATCHMAKERS, LOVE BUG
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 13
“When you’re talking about relationships, individuals are so different. You lose something when you reduce somebody to a formula.” The couple uses the files to make matches by hand. They sort by age first, and then they match based on the surveys, the information they’ve collected and the relationships they’ve formed with the clients. They encourage their matches to go on at least several dates to get to know each other better before seeking other matches. While there is something to be said about an instant connection, they believe that a deeper connection can only be formed by actually getting to know someone and encourage their clients not to jump to conclusions. Then, they stay in touch, coaching and communicating with clients while they are in the process of dating or meeting matches. Robert and Vera make hundreds, if not thousands, of phone calls a month to their
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clients to check in and give advice. The evidence of the relationships that have bloomed from with their help decorates the office walls. Happy couples have sent thank you notes and postcards. They’ve sent photographs and wedding invitations. The first couple to be matched by Love Bug to get married is celebrating a nine-year anniversary this year. In total, about 1,000 people have “found the right person” through Love Bug, and 300 people have gotten married thus far. By the momentum they are currently seeing in the business, Love Bug is sure to add couples to that list in the near future. Robert and Vera credit the painstaking, personal process they use. “When you’re talking about relationships, individuals are so different,” Vera said. “You lose something when you reduce somebody to a formula.” MB
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COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 15
it’s never too late to be
LOOKING
16 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
FOR LOVE W RI TTEN BY KRI STI N OW ENS
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 17
Finding true love is hard.
And finding it twice, even more challenging. At an age where change can be uncomfortable, dating can be particularly intimidating. With Millennials (20-somethings), technology is the comfortable go-to for solving most problems, so finding love is just a click away. Lonely? Try Tinder, Match or Zoosk. Strike out? Check out Elite and eHarmony. At last count, there are over a hundred dating sites and apps to choose from. The problem in this scenario isn’t finding someone to date, it is narrowing down the list of potential matches to a manageable size. While having options is good, picking the needle in the haystack of could-bepartners is a daunting task. But what about everyone else? For those who didn’t grow up with technology as a second language, going online may not be the first solution they gravitate towards, leaving them feeling lost. Gen-Xers (30-40’s) and Boomers (50-70’s) have opportunities a ’plenty to get out, socialize, and even meet someone special... either with or without technology. You just have to know where — and how — to look.
Chapter Two Being divorced or widowed shouldn’t equate to loneliness or an end to happiness. Instead, it is an opportunity for a reset. Being single after your 20’s have come and gone is not usually in anyone’s vision of the future, but for lots of
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people it is reality. “When [you’re] young, you usually have a life plan: get married, possibly have kids, and live happily ever after. You are never really prepared to be 45 and single,” Chris Radke, Organizer for Northern Colorado Singles explained. More and more people are fitting into this “unexpectedly single again” category, however. As common sense might tell us, it’s easier for divorced people to date other divorced people; they have similar circumstances and expectations, which make the process less challenging. The National Center for Health Statistics reports almost one million Americans get divorced or widowed annually (2014). So fortunately for divorced people looking for a new partner, there are plenty of eligible fish in the dating pool to choose from.
Get Back Out There It’s not an exact science, but experts say that timing the start of a new relationship depends on the length of the previous one. If the last significant partnership was long-term, meaning a few years or decades, take a year off to work on yourself. If shorter, then take a few months. In either case, Chris Berger, owner of Foundations Counseling, recommends taking time to heal and grow. If coming out of a bad relationship, it’s worth taking some additional time and seeing a counselor to process. Even after waiting, you may never feel one hundred percent ready. Some people
✱ HOW TO MEET? Check out these Meetup.com clubs for some organized fun Fort Collins Sports and Social Club 2649 members (singles and couples welcome) Events: Ski/snowboard trips, holiday parties, game nights, and wine tastings Northern Colorado Singles 1874 members Events: Ski trips, Broncos games, Saturday night socials, happy hours, and singles mixers Fort Collins Over 40 Social Club 810 members Events: game nights, book clubs, brewery/winery tours, movies, bowling, and local festivals The Breakfast Club – Northern Colorado Club for Singles 50+ 312 members Events: Breakfasts, book discussions, game night, hiking, travel, and movies. Front Range Out and About 2561 members (singles and couples welcome) Events: Kickball, annual bike and brew tour, outdoor fitness, and beer tasting.
✱ WHERE TO GO? Try these restaurants & bars for a memorable date. Social 1 Old Towne Square, Suite 7 (underground), Fort Collins
Restaurant 415 415 South Mason Street, Fort Collins
Café Vino 1200 S College Ave, Fort Collins
The Melting Pot 334 E. Mountain Avenue, Fort Collins
The Welsh Rabbit 200B Walnut Street, Fort Collins
Everyone looks sexy in dimmed lights. On a Friday night, take your game up a notch and try the charcuterie board with a classic martini. Or go a little mysterious and order an absinthe from the largest collection in town. Either way, you’ll look (and feel) good.
It’s always packed, so don’t forget to make a reservation. Share some creative small plates like steak & veggie skewers, pair with a Paloma made with fresh squeezed grapefruit and tequila, and have a few laughs.
The wait staff at Café Vino will help orchestrate all the right moves. If in doubt, just select the entire list of starters and a memorable meal is guaranteed. Don’t be intimidated by the wine list, order Red Wine flight #4 (rich, ripe and medium body), and it will be true love.
Sure, you need to cook your own meal, but they get to clean up. Plus, the dessert is worth it. Falling in love over melted chocolate is easy, especially with marsh mellows and cheesecake to dip. Try the Chocolate S’mores and an after-dinner Café Amore. Bring Tums.
Don’t let the multitude of menu options scare you. It’s just cheese. The helpful staff can carefully steer you in the right direction. If overwhelmed, try the Popular Platter and the white wine flight. If your date orders the red flight and shres, they’re a keeper.
make a conscious choice to enjoy their later years without a romantic partner. There is nothing wrong with deciding not to pursue relationships after a major one has ended. For most people, however, the need to engage with others eventually makes them seek out relationships again. Most people are social creatures and need others to thrive, though this does not have to be the case for everyone.
Wild Wonderful Web As anyone who has tried to date in the last few years can tell you, the dating process has changed slightly since what you remember from your last courtship. Hello, world wide web! Technology has forever changed the way we meet people – for better or worse. When it’s time to get out there, most people in 2017 turn to online dating; it’s fast, efficient, and allows a sense of anonymity before committing to even meet someone. Recently, the online dating industry has begun expanding their offerings specifically tailored to older singles. Sites like OurTime.com is dedicated to 50+ singles, and specific interest groups exist for almost everything. This allows people to cut through a lot of the “clutter” and get directly to what they are looking for. Radke says online dating can be tricky, and anyone who has tried it will probably agree. In the past, people looked for chemistry and then got to know each other on an actual physical date. Online, it’s the opposite. Singles browse, try to find compatibility, and wind-up knowing everything about their date from a profile before actually hearing the sound of their
voice or admiring the way their eyes sparkle in candlelight. In other words, it is easy to get invested before you have an opportunity to feel a romantic connection. This, more than anything, is what makes online dating difficult for some people. On paper the compatibility between two people may appear to be significant, but in person there may be nothing. The great advantage to meeting potential dates online is also its great flaw. You can invest a lot of time and energy really getting to know someone before actually meeting them, which can lead to a feeling of wasted time when there is no chemistry. When it comes to an actual date, the process is pretty much the same as it has ever been; you ask someone out, meet at a scheduled time and place, and chat. Berger agrees the stages of dating — attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and engagement haven’t really changed. Even during a second time around or when you meet in a virtual space first, Berger said to remember, “a date is just a date, either just coffee or dinner.” No other expectations are necessary.
Mature people tend to look for different things in a relationship. Being more self-aware, they know what they want, and even more importantly, what they don’t want in a partner.
Not Challenges, but Opportunities Older singles, especially if divorced or widowed, are less likely to date again. The longer the previous relationship, the harder it tends to be for people to “get out there” again. Why? Mostly fear. Take an already intimidating process and place it in an unfamiliar social landscape, and it becomes a recipe for some Boomers and Gen-Xers to steer clear altogether.
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✱ WHAT TO DO? Consider these First Date Ideas Take a cooking class Nothing says I love you like a full stomach. Private and group lessons available. The Cooking Studio Fort Collins. 123 North College Avenue, Suite 130. Go on a brewery tour Beer always helps an awkward first date. On this free 90-minute tour, you get to try at least five different styles. And just like dating, hopefully you’ll end up liking at least one. New Belgium Brewery. 500 Linden Street.
“When [you’re] young, you usually have a life plan: get married, possibly have kids, and live happily ever after. You are never really prepared to be 45 and single.”
Support your local team Want a wild night? Go see the Colorado Eagles. Great food and beer options, and music so loud, it will cover-up any comfortable pauses in conversation. Tickets range from $16-$30. Budweiser Events Center 5290 Arena Circle, Loveland. Create art Artistic endeavors may cultivate true love. If not, at least you have an original painting for the living room. Most classes last two hours and cost around $35-$45/person. Wine is included... yippee! Pinot’s Palette. 159 W. Mountain Go dancing Like it hot and spicy? Then salsa baby! Take a mini lesson on Tuesday night at 7:30pm for $5.00 then dance until 10:00pm. Tequila is extra but recommended for improving coordination. Rio Grande Mexican Restaurant 143 W. Mountain.
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But what if you decide that you not only want to date again, but you are ready to get out there? Where do you even start? Meeting eligible potential mates seems like a daunting task, especially in the age when online dating is the primary method of meeting people. The online dating world offers hundreds of sites and literally thousands of options, no matter your age, status, or specific needs. With so many potential dates, knowing what you want is hugely important. Kaitlin Jones, a Fort Collins therapist recommends asking yourself, what are you looking for? What don’t you want, or better yet, don’t you want to repeat? Look for reputable dating sites that ask for lots of details in their questions and profiles. Also, be aware of your own needs and be realistic about whether potential matches meet them. With life lessons under their belt, people reentering the dating scene later in life are more discerning in their potential choice of partners. Mature singles are more selective and tend to choose future partners more wisely. They look for people with integrity, who are responsible, dependable, and fun to be with. But finding compatibility on all of these points — plus mutual attraction — can be hard to find. In the pursuit of the perfect match, it is tempting to create a nearly endless list of qualification and qualities a new partner must have. Gregory adds that divorcees can have lots of baggage that could unintentionally hamper new relationships. It’s important for folks looking to date again to understand what they experienced (and the errors they committed) in past relationships, so they don’t just recreate the same unsuccessful situation all over again. This can complicate an already difficult task, but remaining firm on what works and what
doesn’t for you in a relationship will be the key to success further down the road. Simply put, mature people are not as malleable. They are usually past the “new habits” stage of their lives, because what they have going on probably works well for them. They are less likely to make major lifestyle changes, opinions are solidly formed, and requests like changing religious affiliation or political party just won’t happen. Visitation schedules with kids and career responsibilities may take priority over a new relationship. These kinds of restrictions can be seen as a blessing and a curse when it comes to dating, because it forces a true evaluation of whether lifestyles mesh but it may make getting a relationship off the ground more difficult. When dating the second time around, it is important to remember that what you see is likely to be what you’re going to get.
Let’s meet As awesome as online dating can be, Radke cautions that the process of selecting a potential partner can be “pass or fail.” There is tremendous pressure to hit it off immediately, which leads to many first dates and very few seconds. Radke recommends taking time and patience to get to know people, and vetting appropriately. For less first-impression pressure, find a social group. Radke explains that after getting divorced, the circle of friends gets smaller. Social groups can be life-saving and are a great way to meet others with similar interests. The main purpose is to have fun, with less emphasis on individual chemistry. They tend to be welcoming places since all members felt like a stranger at one point, so they get it. Social
groups provide no pressure, but opportunities to get to know people better over time. They are a place to go and make friendships. Meetup.com lists several social clubs in the Fort Collins-area. All offer organized activities that get you out of the house for a good time and to socialize. If you happen to meet someone you’d like to date – great. It’s a bonus. But there are no expectations for these kinds of connections going in to any meetup. Look for groups that focus on singles with shared interests and circumstances. Susan McDonald, Organizer for the Fort Collins Over 40 Club says mature singles tend to have difficulties finding people to hang out with. They are searching for activities to do with someone their own age, but finding those people can prove challenging. McDonald started her club nine years ago, when she was single again and looking for more social activities like wine tastings, music, trips, plays, and movies. Now, she has over 800 members. McDonald likes it because it brings people together. “Nothing warms my heart to see a room full of people smiling and having fun,” she said. Tonda Gregory’s Breakfast Club averages twenty-five activities each month: hiking in summer, movies, archery, bowling and dances are some of the activities that make regular calendar appearances. At the monthly breakfast meetings, over sixty members usually attend. The group was never designed as a dating club
but, people get together and it happens. The sole purpose of the club is for older single folks to have fun again. “Being single at this late is life, it’s a difficult landscape for people to navigate,” Gregory said. “In general, everyone wants intimacy, both physical and emotional,” Jones added. People want to “be close to someone.” Still, life experiences add up and can set higher expectations with a new partner. Mature people tend to look for different things in a relationship. Being more self-aware, they know what they want, and even more importantly, what they don’t want in a partner. In short — been there, done that, and not interested in repeating mistakes. Whether looking for true love or a bunch of good friends, social groups provide a fun space and can help move you forward. And when dating, don’t let obstacles - like yourself - get in the way of future happiness. Nice people are out there. Besides, like Gregory says, “you can’t go bowling by yourself.” MB
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 21
ADVERSTISEMENT
Do you have Natural Hearing? Natural hearing is what most people are born with. It is when you can hear all the sounds in your environment and can easily separate them. You can understand who you are talking to without having to think about how this happens.
22 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
Have things changed for you? Hearing loss occurs slowly and you begin to ask people to repeat what they say or become bothered by interfering sounds, like background noise. Sounds and voices around you can become more difficult to hear and localize. Details of speech are missing. Over time, you are working harder to hear and this can become your new normal hearing.
ADVERSTISEMENT
Would you like to get your natural hearing back? What would it be like to have access to all those natural sounds again? I see my patients regain their natural hearing every day and they realize how much of their world they have been missing. Oticon Opn™, the newest hearing technology, provides your brain with more accurate information about the soundscape. You can manage multiple speech and noise sources, even in complex listening situations. You can now focus on a conversation while staying attentive to people and things around you, being able to switch your focus easily. This technology also improves your ability to understand speech by up to 30%, so you don’t have to work as hard to understand, leaving more mental energy to remember what you hear.
Try it for yourself! Try Oticon Opn TM Risk Free for 30 days and bring back the joy of natural hearing to your everyday life.
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2001 S. Shields St., Bldg. J2 Fort Collins, CO www.bakerhearing.net Susan D. Baker, BS, BC-HIS, Owner Board Certified Hearing Instrument Specialist “Serving the Fort Collins area for 18 years”
“I was able to hear and understand my wife amongst all the sounds around me. I was not bothered by the background sounds, but I knew where everything was spatially. I could then pick out my wife’s voice.” — R.S. COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 23
FOR A GENERATION RAISED IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA ERA, CAN BOUNDARIES AND TECHNO-FASTS HELP SALVAGE SELF-IMAGE?
24 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
ON-again OFF-again Each day, over one billion individuals log into Facebook, still the world’s most popular social networking website. They scroll through photos and status updates, visit groups or pop into the marketplace. Increasingly, people even report sourcing their news from articles shared in their circle of “friends.” Regardless of platform or motivation for use — just as in life, some like to watch while others prefer to perform — social media habits often come with all kinds of negatives. Studies have found that, for many, online networking correlates with poor mood, reduced work-focus, and diminished self-esteem. Emerging experimental research confirms suspicions that these relationships may be causal. Despite these downfalls, most of us just can’t stay away: sixty-five percent of American adults use some sort of social networking site. Among eighteen to twenty-nine year-olds, it jumps to 90%. At twenty-two, Morgan Bennett has been using social media since she first moved to Colorado roughly a decade ago. In junior high, she logged into different platforms for tailored reasons, using then-brand-new Facebook to keep in touch with friends she left behind and MySpace to connect
W RI TTEN BY STACEY MCKENNA
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 25
“I’ve changed my self-image so that I don’t need outside images to tell me how I am. But it definitely took moving away and coming back.”
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with new classmates. “I got Facebook in 7th grade… I’m from Virginia, and when I moved away — I was an angsty teenager, really upset — so when I went back to visit, my friends had it and I wanted it… I had MySpace and Facebook together for a while. All my friends in Colorado that I was in middle school with were on MySpace,” she says. Twenty-three year-old graduate student Julia Caughey’s foray into online networking also came before high school. “When I started, MySpace was something that everybody had. My [older] sister ran my MySpace. She helped me change my font and wallpaper and all of that. I did it more because she was doing it,” she says. For Bennett and Caughey, like many of today’s young adults, social media was just a way of life in high school. It was simply part of the fabric of everyday experience, often with little thought about the significance or consequences. These days, although both women have accounts on multiple platforms — Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter — they’re constantly navigating what kind of role they want social media to have in their lives. And it isn’t always easy, as the very act of online networking comes with pros and cons. Though it’s the one platform she uses regularly, Bennett readily acknowledges a love-hate relationship with Facebook in particular. “It’s all about seeing… This is what I like about Facebook, is you get to see where people are,” she says. But the very act of observing other people’s lives can come with consequences. “It keeps you connected and almost grounded to the world around you. But maybe it un-grounds you, because it’s hard to focus on yourself, to be present, when you’re looking at all these things people from high school are doing now.” Like Bennet, Caughey mostly uses Facebook to stay in touch with friends and family. But she’s not immune from the challenges associated with all that watching, especially when those experiences are so curated. “I have friends who do things just to post on social media. People help paint a picture of themselves with what they post and how they post,” Caughey says. “[Social media] definitely has [affected my self-image], and it goes in waves for me. Like sometimes I don’t care, and other times I want people to know what I’m doing. Like I’m doing this cool thing, and I want other people to know that I do that… When I look at other people’s [lives], like when I went to college, I started comparing my experiences to theirs.” Bennett and Caughey’s observations are consistent with scholarly findings. Social media can affect people’s self-esteem when it comes to their appearance. Bennett, for example, stresses when others post pictures from the side. “I’ve untagged myself from pictures that might be from a weird angle… I broke my nose, so I have this bump on my nose,” she says. But unlike traditional media, when people use social media, they are constantly bombarded with an idealized version of their peers’ lives. In a 2015 article in the journal Body Image, psychologist Jasmine Fardouly and her colleagues note that, “Facebook provides women with a means for comparing themselves on a broad range of dimensions (beyond just appearance), such as social status and life experiences.” Furthermore, that people know the subjects of comparison may exacerbate a sense of inadequacy. For Bennett and Caughey, social media’s effect on how they view themselves and their own lives leads to occasional frustrations with the media itself. Both have given up social media entirely for periods of time. But despite appreciating the time away, they’ve always come back, largely because of the ubiquity of the sites in our social interactions. “Facebook
is making me cynical,” Bennett says. “I always wanna deactivate it, but for some reason…. Like [when] I went to Africa, I wanted to reactivate it so I could talk to my mom. But I’ve heard that people without Facebook are happier.” Caughey disabled her social media accounts after high school. “When I got into college, I disabled it all,” she says. “But when my sister went to Peru, I got back on Facebook so we could talk internationally for free… When I deactivated, I felt like I was missing things, especially with my family. It was only like seven months, but it was nice to not have Facebook.” Those breaks may have given the young women a tool for navigating their use of social media, and mediating its negative effects in their lives. These occasional techno-fasts seem to offer enough perspective to set some boundaries, and both Caughey and Bennett have rules they now follow. Instagram is for travel or really unique experiences. Facebook is to stay in touch with friends and family. Snapchat provides an amusing way to interact with a handful of friends. But the women haven’t just changed what they use each site for. Over time, and with time away, they’ve developed conscious ways of engaging that preserve their self-esteem. Caughey feels like her current relationship with social media is healthier than it once was, in part thanks to the breaks. And that new relationship helps support an improved sense of herself. “When I do a cool thing I’m [posting about it],” she says. “But I don’t count the likes and then delete [the pictures] if they don’t get enough…. I think that change is how I interact with [social media] though. I’ve changed my self-image so that I don’t need outside images to tell me how I am. But it definitely took moving away and coming back,” she says. For Bennett, a big change has come in the amount of interaction she permits herself. “There was a time when I would look at every photo and comment on everything, but now I’ve realized that less is more and I’d rather post one picture. I think that’s good because it’s easier for me to just live in the moment. When I was younger, I wanted the best picture. And I see young people doing the same thing now, like who should I pose with and how should I pose? How many likes can I get when I post this? I think I’ve matured out of it. It’s cool when I update my profile picture and get one-hundred likes on it, but that’s not why I do it,” she says. Though Caughey and Bennett seem to have found ways to use social media that don’t constantly undermine their self-esteem, both continue to struggle with a sense of ambivalence toward it. “I hate Facebook. I always want to delete it,” Bennett says. But she doesn’t, and she admits she probably won’t. The benefits — spotting photos of her mom at dog shows, keeping in touch with friends she’s met traveling, knowing her grandmother checks in, even if she never comments or likes — continue to outweigh the challenges. Despite growing scholarly and media chatter about the potential consequences of social media use, people are logging in at unprecedented rates. Four-fifths of all Internet users in the United States have Facebook accounts now, a seven percent increase from just a year ago. Compared to 2015, fourteen percent more adults sixty-five and older are now on social media. Middle and high school students are Snapchatting selfies to classmates at the next desk. And, it seems, as social networking websites become increasingly multigenerational, they’re also more entrenched in our everyday lives than ever before. MB
TH E
&
r e s a L Centeofr
NORTHERN COLORADO
970-267-2661
ColoradoVeinandLaser.com FC-0000445900
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 27
NOURISH FO O D
FOOD Grandma’s Chocolate Cake
28 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
with heart FEBRUARY IN COLORADO tends to
GRANDMA’S CHOCOLATE CAKE (MADE WITH STOUT)
be the deepest depths of winter, when
Nothing screams homemade comfort food like a chocolate cake made with love. Grandma’s Chocolate Cake originated at Barrington Brewery in Massachusetts, and may very well be the best chocolate cake you will ever eat. It’s not very a very sweet cake, which lets the chocolate and the stout shine through. Its chewy, dense texture is reminiscent of a brownie, fudge and chocolate cake all at the same time, making it a delightful departure from traditional chocolate cake recipes. Beware, this recipe makes a LOT of batter and it’s thin. If your cake pans aren’t tall enough the batter can overflow as it rises and bakes. Be sure to put a sheet pan or some other drip catcher under your pans. For the stout we used Shot Down Chocolate Stout from Fort Collins Brewery (of course!). Grandmother used Guinness, but stay away from Imperial or other high alcohol stouts, because they’re too strong for this cake. If you want to make it sweeter, it can be served with Chantilly cream or ice cream.
warm weather is a distant memory and we can’t remember what our yards and streets look like without snow. Trish O’Neill of The Cooking Studio comes to the rescue this year with some amazing comfort cuisine that takes old favorites and adds culinary flair to warm us from the inside as we wait for spring. RECI P E S BY TRISH O’ N E I L L P HOTOS BY E RI KA MOOR E
Serves 12
INGREDIENTS: 2 cups stout (chocolate stout if possible) 2 cups unsalted butter 1 1/2 cups unsweetened cocoa powder (Dutch-process if available) 4 cups all-purpose flour 4 cups sugar 1 tablespoon baking soda 1 1/2 teaspoons salt 4 large eggs 1 1/3 cups sour cream Icing 3 cups whipping cream 2 pounds bittersweet chocolate pieces
together. Add stout-chocolate mixture and beat just to combine.
DIRECTIONS:
In a medium heavy saucepan bring cream to simmer. Remove from heat.
Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter three 8-inch round cake pans with 2 to 4 inch-high sides. Line the cakes pans with parchment paper and butter the paper and sides. In a large, heavy saucepan bring stout and butter to a simmer over medium heat. Add cocoa powder and whisk gently until mixture is smooth. Remove from heat and cool slightly. Using a large bowl and hand mixer or stand mixer, beat eggs and sour cream
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking soda, and 1 1/2 teaspoons salt until blended. Add flour mixture and beat briefly on slow speed. Using rubber spatula, fold batter until completely combined. Divide batter equally among prepared pans. Bake cakes until tester inserted into center of cakes comes out clean, about 35 to 45 minutes. Transfer cakes to rack and cool 10 minutes. Turn cakes out onto rack and cool completely.
Add chopped chocolate and whisk until melted and smooth. Refrigerate until icing is spreadable, stirring frequently, about 2 hours. Place 1 cake layer on plate. Spread 2/3 cup icing over. Top with a second layer and spread 2/3 cup icing over. Top with third cake layer. Spread remaining icing over top and sides of cake.
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 29
JAQUES PEPIN’S BEEF STEW IN RED WINE SAUCE
Jaques Pepin’s Beef Stew in Red Wine Sauce
Serves 4
This dish is perfect to have on the stove when your loved ones are coming home on a cold wintery day. No matter how old you are, there is nothing more comforting than the smell of home cooking as you walk through the door. This beef stew is hearty and filling, and cooking the vegetables separate from the meat insures that all elements are cooked to perfection when they hit the plate. INGREDIENTS 1 tablespoon unsalted butter 2 tablespoons olive oil 2 pounds trimmed beef flatiron steak or chuck, cut into 8 pieces Salt Freshly ground black pepper 1 cup finely chopped onion 1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour 1 bottle dry red wine (750 ml) 2 bay leaves 1 thyme sprig 1 piece of pancetta (5 ounces) 15 pearl or small Cipollini onions, peeled 15 cremini mushrooms 15 baby carrots, peeled Sugar Chopped fresh parsley, for garnish DIRECTIONS
Preheat the oven to 350°. In a large enameled cast-iron casserole pan, melt the butter in 1 tablespoon of the olive oil. Arrange the meat in a single layer and season with salt and pepper. Cook over moderately high heat, turning occasionally, until browned on all sides for approximately 8 minutes. Add the chopped onion and garlic and cook over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until the onion is softened about 5 minutes. Add the flour and stir to coat the meat. Add wine, bay leaves and thyme and stir. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve any brown bits stuck to the bottom of the pot.
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Cover pan and transfer it to the oven. Cook 1 1/2 hours until meat is very tender and sauce is flavorful. While the meat cooks, in a saucepan, cover the pancetta with 2 cups of water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes. Remove from heat and drain the pancetta. Slice it 1/2 inch thick, then cut the slices into 1-inch-wide lardons. In a large skillet, combine the pancetta, pearl onions, mushrooms and carrots. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil,
1/4 cup of water and a large pinch each of sugar, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil, cover and simmer until almost all of the water has evaporated, about 15 minutes. Uncover and cook over high heat, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are tender and nicely browned, about 4 minutes. To serve, stir some of the vegetables and lardons into the stew and scatter the rest on top as a garnish. Top with a little chopped parsley and serve.
SPICY TOMATO SOUP AND A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH Many of us have childhood memories centered around a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. This classic comfort pairing is updated for adult taste buds with this spicy tomato soup by Barbara Lynch from Food 52’s Genius Recipes and a classic grilled cheese from Emma Christensen. SPICY TOMATO SOUP INGREDIENTS 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1 small yellow onion, peeled, halved, and sliced into 1/4-inch-thick slices 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes (or to taste) 2 cans whole tomatoes (28 ounce) 1 1/2 cups water 1/4 cup loosely packed fresh basil leaves Kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper
Crème fraîche, for garnish (optional) DIRECTIONS:
In a large saucepan over medium heat, heat the olive oil until it shimmers. Add onions and red pepper flakes and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are translucent tender, about 10 minutes. Stirring, add tomatoes (including the juice) and water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes. Add basil, season with salt and pepper and remove from the heat. Let cool about 5 minutes. Set a fine-mesh strainer over a large, heatproof bowl. Using a blender, purée the soup in batches until smooth, removing the small cap from the blender lid and covering it with a kitchen towel (this allows steam to escape and prevents the blender lid from popping off ).
Pour the blended soup through the strainer, using a rubber spatula to squeeze liquid from the tomato skins and seeds. Discard the seeds and skins left over in the strainer. Taste the soup and season with additional salt and pepper as needed. Garnish with crème fraiche as desired. Return the soup to the saucepan and reheat on medium low until hot. CLASSIC GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH Serves 1 INGREDIENTS: 2 slices bread 1 tablespoon butter Generous 1/4 cup grated cheese, like cheddar, Monterey jack, or any other melting cheese DIRECTIONS:
Place a skillet over medium heat and add the butter, letting it melt completely. When the butter begins
to sizzle your pan is ready. Spread the butter around the middle of the pan with the spatula. Rub the both slices of bread in the melted butter. Remove a slice of bread and reserve it for later. Pile the grated cheese in an even layer over the entire surface of the slice of bread still in the pan. Cover the pan with a lid and let the cheese melt until it’s almost entirely melted, but you can still see some distinct cheese pieces, about 2 to 3 minutes. Uncover the pan and top the sandwich with the other piece of bread. Press top with a spatula so it adheres to the melted cheese. Flip the sandwich over and continue cooking until both sides of the sandwich are toasted golden brown, another 1 to 2 minutes. Transfer the sandwich to a plate, cut in half, and eat immediately.
Spicy Tomato Soup and a Classic Grilled Cheese Sandwich
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 31
NOURISH DRINKS
On the rock
32 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
Love is in the
AIR
Whether you’re looking for a romantic date spot or just a really great drink, Ray Harvey and Ace Gillett’s should be the first stop on your list.
WRIT T E N BY K RIST IN DE ILY PHOTOS BY E RIK A MOORE
FEBRUARY IS THE TIME OF YEAR for cozying up with the one you love and celebrating togetherness. There is no place in Fort Collins better to do that than Ace Gillett’s, the ultra-cool basement bar on College Ave beneath the Armstrong Hotel. This place drips ambience from the moment you walk in the door, in no small part because of the General Manager, Ray Harvey. Harvey has become a Fort Collins institution, and Ace Gillete’s has a reputation for being the place to go for a private, romantic drink. Harvey credits this to the atmosphere being “such a cozy location with the music... I think people feel a sense of intimacy that they don’t feel at a lot of other places.”
RAY HARVEY
ACE GILLETT’S GENERAL MANAGER
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 33
34 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
This atmosphere combined with some of the best drinks in town has produced some romantic events at Harvey’s bar. “I’ve [had] some pretty elaborate wedding proposals.... One of which was a guy that came in ahead of time and put a very nice wedding ring inside of a champagne flute, which he had me pour Dom Perignon over and served the unsuspecting bride to be and she didn’t notice until she got near the bottom,” he remembered. While everyone can’t expect a romantic proposal and Dom Perignon, they can recreate some of the magic of Ace Gillett’s this Valentine’s Day (or any other day), with a couple of original recipes from Harvey. MB
THE STRATOSPHERE
RUBY SOHO
INGREDIENTS 5 ounces of brut champagne 1 dash of lavender bitters 1 ounce of Créme Yvette (violet liqueur) Three fresh raspberries
INGREDIENTS 2 ounces of grapefruit vodka 1/2 ounce of St. Germain elderflower liqueur 1/4 ounce of Aperol 4 ounces of fresh-squeezed grapefruit juice
DIRECTIONS
In a champagne flute pour lavender bitters, Créme Yvette and champagne. Garnish with raspberries and serve.
DIRECTIONS
In a cocktail shaker add grapefruit vodka, St. Germain, Aperol and grapefruit juice over crushed ice. Shake, strain into a chilled cocktail glas and serve.
COLORADOAN.COM/MIND-BODY Mind+Body 35
FINAL WORD
PLAY ME A LOVE SONG W RITTE N BY KRISTIN OWE N S
WHEN I FIRST HEARD ENYA’S “ON YOUR SHORE ,” it produced such
a formidable combination of emotions it made me both weepy-sad and blissfully-happy. So, I played it ninety-six times. I was a young-ish adult and questioned what could possibly ever make me feel this way again? Which is why, in my opinion, the most powerful and memorable songs are about love — the Holy Roman Empress of Emotions. When I hear a good one, a flutter in my stomach begets a wistful longing. And consequently, as if a switch flipped... memories march in to take over. I never believed time travel was possible. But certain songs take me on a direct flight to my forgotten past. I can’t help it. Even now, they remind me of strong feelings and when I first experienced them. In the 1980’s, my formative years, I had plenty to choose from. “Photograph” from Def Leppard made me feel flirtatious. Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax,” powerful. “White Wedding” from Billy Idol, naughty. And “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” by Culture Club, surprisingly confused. Songs — whether the lyrics, music or both — have a way of tattooing themselves on my brain. As I get older, I’m delighted with solid uncompromising connections from the past. However, not all songs are about love or bring back good times. “Afternoon Delight” from Starland Vocal Band reminds me that as a child, I thought it was about fireworks. Embarrassing... was I ever that naïve? John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High” relives a horrendous eight-hour drive from Prague, Czech Republic 36 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
to Frankfurt, Germany. Simon & Garfunkel’s “Homeward Bound” paints a lonely Alaskan winter when my husband was deployed to Iraq. Love songs and memories can also be inextricably intertwined. The timing is usually coincidental, which provides even more potency. As if some higher power has chosen you, just you, to listen at that particular moment. Time stops. It’s that instance when words, music, and your heart crash together in a beautiful unplanned symphony. After that, the song is never heard the same way again. And it becomes personally yours; a brand seared forever on your authentic soul. Some love songs you refuse to share. Incredibly personal, like a high school diary, they evoke feelings shyly kept private. And then, suddenly, you meet the right person. Someone who won’t laugh or even snicker. My husband, who protectively guards his high school mixed tapes like a junkie, realized this when he unlocked a song from his personal vault. When he proposed, he got down on one knee and sang Depeche Mode’s “Somebody” until I said yes. Inevitably the right occasion presented itself. So, after hoarding my own song like a precious jewel for decades, I dusted off “On Your Shore.” The DJ played it at our re-scheduled wedding reception. Finally, all the people I loved were together in one room and my husband safely back from Iraq. As he stood in full dress uniform beside me, my heart swelled almost painfully. In that instance, that one moment, space and time caught up. As I listened to the beautiful music and lyrics, my past memories stayed safe but appropriately stored away. And all I could see was the future. MB
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Meet Dave and Mat... Dave and Mat are just a two members of the passionate team that makes Wilbur’s Total Beverage THE place to go for wine, beer and spirits. With the largest selection in Northern Colorado and a customer-centric approach to business, Wilbur’s has the perfect pairing for your next get together. Stop in today and see how the whole team makes Wilbur’s Total Beverage more than just a liquor store. 38 Mind+Body FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017
2201 South College • (970) 226-8662
So much more than a liquor store.
www.WilbursTotalBeverage.com
Open M-Sat 9-10 • Sun 9-7